Original subtitles

Gotcha. Did you do this?

Breathe it.

Of course I'll go to the formal with you. You don't have to go through all

trouble. I just wanted it to be very, very special.

It'll be everything we always dreamed.

Now, we need photos of me and my drafts and you in your suit.

And I was thinking your backyard.

For the photos.

Why don't we do them at your place?

As if. The beautiful gazebo in your mom's garden, it's perfect.

Yeah.

You're getting pretty good at that.

Keep Ania happy. Nice work.

One minor problem, she wants to come to my place for formal photos.

Hey, well, come on. You're not that ugly.

Very funny.

Ania can't come to my place. I told my parents we broke up for good.

After our last breakup, I just omitted the fact that we got back together.

If she finds out, it's gonna get ugly.

You always know how to make me feel so much better.

Whatever it takes, I know how to make it.

We bet that I can be whatever it takes.

I know I can make it. I can make it. I can make it through.

Whatever it takes.

I know I can make it through.

Live bunts and burners mean safety goggles, people.

Put them on before you start playing with fire.

Make sure you tie back your long hair.

Dent, dent, dent. Stingly, dangly jewelry or loose clothing. I have

You got to help me out with this Anya thing, man.

So aside from your obvious forgetfulness, why are you keeping Anya

your folks?

They're anti -girlfriend.

It's the only way we can be together.

It's going to blow up.

You're right.

I got to come clean.

You know, the bumps and burn are behind you, dude.

Oh.

You shouldn't play with fire.

Allie.

We should go to formal together.

Is that your way of asking me out?

Direct. It's how I roll. Well, not in a million years.

Whatever. I just thought I would ask since you always talked about it.

Well.

Before. Exactly.

Before the pictures and the lying. I'm not even going to go there.

Read my lips.

We're over.

I don't worry, man.

She wasn't the one.

She was one of many.

Yeah.

Forget her.

Hey, Dark.

Hey, Spaz.

What's with the balloons?

They're from Anya.

Help me out a sec.

Now what?

I'm trying to run through a scenario. Pretend to be mom.

Do we have to role play every time you have a crisis?

Come on, Allie. I'm trying to figure out how to tell them I'm still with Anya.

Why would you do that?

Oh, I don't know.

Honesty being the best policy and all.

In our family, you know they're going to make it impossible for you guys to be

together. No boyfriends or girlfriends in the college.

Hello.

But if you're going to come clean, I'm going to watch.

They're for spring formal. I told you about it.

Yes, you are going with Peter and Danny.

It's so good you boys aren't obsessed with girls and dates.

Way to be honest, bro.

What about that one?

Too mouse -like.

What about this one in the T -shirt?

The knees look sharp.

Oh, it's always sweet, sweet Lindsay.

Waitress? I've totally seen her smile at you, dude.

She's a waitress. She smiles at everyone.

No, I think you have a chance.

But isn't she, like, in college?

So what?

What's your haircut? You look mature.

Kind of.

Lindsay! What are you doing? Are you in shape?

Hey, guys.

What can I get you?

My friend here thinks you're really hot.

Thanks.

Johnny, right?

Actually, don't listen to him. He's dumb.

Oh, so you don't think I'm hot? No, I... Look, are you guys going to order

something?

We're fine.

So can he have your number, sweetheart?

Nice move, Claire. Shut up.

Sav, where are we?

We have to go to school.

Minor detour.

Don't peek.

Smells amazing.

Okay. Wait.

Is it... Take it off.

It's the botanical garden. I knew it.

I could smell the blossoms.

But what are we doing here?

Well, we walk past here every day. I thought it'd be the perfect place for

formal photos.

Well, that's very thoughtful of you. No parents.

No distractions. Just me and you.

And our own special place.

I will take that as a yes.

It's more than a yes.

It's a beautiful way to start our special night.

Like we always planned.

Then what happened?

And then she said she wanted to make the night special.

Whoa, like very special.

Do you need me to draw you a diagram?

Well, 60 times, dirty dog.

But it's not just about that. I want it to be romantic, classy.

All right, then let's start with the threads.

Wilford Tuxedo is here for all our formal attire -renting needs.

Let's get it on.

You got the pace. You're up to rate. It turns me on.

It's sexy, baby.

Don't make it look.

You got the pace. Don't throw the weight. Let's make it hurt.

Hands down.

So is Anya still talking to you?

Oh, she's more than talking to me.

Ew, you are so gross.

I'm almost going to rock, sis.

I've got it all planned out.

That's it?

Alia?

I just got off the phone.

The Hassans are coming a week early. They'll be here tomorrow.

Tomorrow? Is Farah coming too?

Of course. We've got to get moving with the Swiffer.

But, Mom, tomorrow is my spring formal. I have to go.

Okay. Maybe you can take Farah.

Pardon?

I know how important the formal is to you and your friends.

And what better way to get to know your possible future wife?

Mom, Farah won't have anything to wear.

I'll call back to make sure she brings the dress. I'm sure she'll be delighted.

Maybe I can get Uncle Amir to rent you to a limo.

You know, it's a good thing if everything worked out.

Yo.

You catch a UFC fight last night? I'm not talking to you. Why not?

Because you're a layman.

I made you talk to me.

Look, it's not my fault you couldn't feel the deal with Lindsay. If you

there, I actually might have had a chance.

Right. She's a university chick.

She's out of your league. Next fall, I'll be in that league. Unlike you, Mr.

Credits Shy.

Have fun being the oldest loser in high school.

What?

Some sort of big man now?

Big? Maybe.

Man? Yeah.

And you should try acting like one.

Your future what?

My maybe possibly future wife. My parents want me to take her to spring

Hold on.

Rewind.

My parents want me to marry within the culture, right? So someone Muslim.

Like a range of marriage styles?

More introductory styles. I don't have to marry her, but they'd like it better

if I did.

Okay, I'm going to ask the question that we're both thinking right now.

Is she hot?

I don't know. Last time I saw her, she was 10 years old.

Okay, second question that we're all thinking.

How do you get two girls and I get none?

It doesn't have to be that way.

Maybe you could take Farah. Anya doesn't know her by name. She'll just think you

let your girl in. No way, dude. I don't do blind dates.

Isn't your maybe possible future wife going to wonder why she's hanging with

this dude anyways?

Maybe she'd play along.

I gotta at least try to pull this off for Anya. Come on, man. I will pay for

your formal tickets.

Dude, forget it.

And pick you up in a limo. Come on, man. You gotta help a guy out.

Okay, fine.

You still owe me.

Anything. You name it.

When the time comes, I will.

What are you so excited about?

I got us a limo. We're going to share with Peter and his date.

A limo?

Yeah.

Sad. I can't wait.

Oh, I took a quiz to figure out my passion personality.

Cool.

You're nervous.

That's so sweet.

Cosmos said it might happen.

I'm not nervous.

No. It's okay. Everyone's nervous their first time.

Trust me, Sav.

It'll be perfect.

Yo, Johnny.

Hey, what time are we hanging tonight?

Can't. Got other plans.

Fucked.

You're not still pissed, are you?

Nah, man. I just got other plans.

All right, fine.

Be that way.

All right.

Sassage, is that you?

Hey, Mom, sorry I'm late.

Oh.

Hey, it's nice to see you again. Hello again, Sassage.

Sassage. I would not have even recognized you so tall. Thank you. You

Farah? Yes, right.

Far up.

It's, uh, I see you. We meet you again. I mean, re -meet you.

Uh, it's been... Seven years.

I know.

You look so different.

You can pick your job off the floor anytime now.

Lindsay, hey.

How's it going?

Pretty good.

Where's the ogre?

Oh, you know, under a bridge somewhere.

I don't know why you hang out with that loser.

It's not that bad.

I guess I don't know him that well.

It's okay. I mean, I guess you just can't choose your friends.

So are you going to stand there or are you going to make yourself useful?

Yeah, sure.

Got a passion for cutlery.

So, Sav, what do you plan on doing after your studies?

Uh, well, I really love music. Maybe tour the world with a band.

I mean, after I get my music PhD.

That sounds really cool.

Don't worry. I keep telling him, Sav, cool doesn't pay the bills.

And I keep saying, Dad, I don't have any bills.

Yes, but when you have a family and a house and kids, swimming lessons.

Oh, come on, Amina.

Let's not scare them. They have time still.

But not too much time. I want all my grandchildren before I die.

Here, Mom.

Let me get that for you. Let me help you with that, Sav.

What? No. You're the guest. You sit down.

No, I insist.

Besides, Dad, didn't you want to show them the photos from our trip?

Of Newfoundland? Yes. I bought the slideshow.

DVD or Blu -ray?

We have both.

Come.

All right.

There you go.

All done.

You've got a bright future as a busboy, Johnny. Yeah, maybe I'll skip

university.

Where are you going to go? What are you going to study?

I'm not sure.

There are lots of stuff.

I knew you had to be smarter than you look.

I'm kidding.

So what are you doing Saturday?

Oh, I got something planned.

It's just my spring formal.

Your high school formal?

Yeah, you want to come?

You're kidding, right?

That's sweet, Johnny, but I... No, no, I was just joking anyway.

Well, well, well.

Lookie here.

I thought you were hanging at home tonight.

Changed my mind.

What the hell was that for?

Because now we're even.

If you ever touch me again.

Or what?

You're going to show me how you're some big university man now?

Huh?

Stop! Knock it off.

This is why I don't hang out with high schoolers.

I guess it's time for me to leave.

I'm sorry my parents were so embarrassing back there.

It's not your fault.

This whole thing is just awkward.

I try not to get freaked out by the whole arranged marriage thing.

I know. It seems so old school.

My mom says to think of it as like a family dating service.

As if we're that desperate.

I know.

Anya. Form is called.

Who's Anya?

Uh... She's my girlfriend.

She's cute.

You should probably call her back.

Yeah.

Uh, Farah, there's something I gotta be honest about.

It's about the formal.

Anya thinks I'm going with her.

Right. And your parents are making you go with me.

Yeah.

They don't really know about Anya.

Ah, secrecy thing.

Been there, done that.

So you're not mad?

There's a guy I like back home, too. I get it.

So, how are we going to pull this off?

I'll take these to the kitchen.

Anya. Why haven't you been answering your phone?

What are you doing here?

Dress watch. I wanted to see if it matched your tie.

Everyone's matching this year.

Now's not a good time.

How come?

Sav, your dad wants to... Oh.

Ah, this is Farah.

Peter's date. His formal date.

I should get back to those dishes.

So that was her, the possible future Mrs.

Bendari.

And your parents.

You never told them we got back together, did you?

Great.

I hope you and Far have a nice life.

What's that?

A normal ticket.

It's for me?

Better than going alone.

Thanks.

So, should we hold hands?

Shut up.

You know, Jonathan, I'm not going to let you take advantage of me on the first

date.

Man, you're a moron.

Yeah, you're friends with a moron. One of a kind moron.

Good luck replacing me when you go away.

Don't worry, Brucie.

Won't even try. All right.

Anya, wait. Give me a second. Don't talk to me. I am so sorry about last night.

But everything I'm doing, it's for us.

Lying? Keeping me a secret? Exactly.

Keeping you a secret means that every time I leave the house, my parents don't

question me. It's the only way that we can be together.

They really hate me, don't they?

Nobody hates you.

Well, it's pretty obvious who they like.

Look, the fact that Farah's here changes nothing about us or my feelings for

you.

So you still want to go to formal with me?

Of course I do.

The question is, do you still want to go with me?

So badly.

As long as we're together, nothing else matters, right? You know it. And people

are even saying that we might be the formal king and queen.

Really? That would be incredible.

I know, I know. So Peter, Farah, and I will pick you up in the limo.

Voila. Oh, yeah. Great job, Anya. That'll keep those pesky formal guests

Are you feeling all right?

Yeah, I'm okay.

Have you two heard about this?

My sources tell me that Peter's taking some far girl as his date for the

Sources? Fine, Danny.

Check your sources. It's not a real date.

Anya with the insider info. Go on.

As far as the girl says, kind of, sort of, not really arranged to be married

He can't go unless he comes to, so he pondered off on Peter.

That's why you're so spaced out.

No, it's no big deal.

So his parents think that she's his date?

No, but I'm his real date.

Well, will his boot and ear match your corsage or hers?

I don't know. So you're letting him have his cake and eat it too? There's no

cake.

Oh, there's cake, all right. Look.

Sav and I love each other. Our being here isn't going to change anything.