Original subtitles

Okay ...

Does this outfit say I'm a professional businesswoman, but with a good working knowledge

of the contemporary music scene ? I suppose is gonna love it !

A music festival ? On these hallowed grounds ? Honestly ! I'd be turning in my grave,

if I were in my grave. Which, technically, I suppose I am. It's all very confusing.

I think it's exciting. Yeah, the chance to see all the big pop acts.

I think music might have change a bit since your days, Pat.

Yeah, I suppose so. The last time I saw the album charts,

it was all U2, Elton John and Abba ... where are they now ?

They're here ! Okay. Now remember, this meeting is for ...

People, not ghosts.

That's right. Let's get them. Yeah.

Hi. Tesla Slidewell Promotions. We spoke on the phone.

Alison. Yeah, one of our headline acts

is quite keen to see the place, so I thought no time like the present.

Hi. Oh, my God !

Sorry about ... I'm Alison. It's a pleasure to meet you.

So I'm a huge fan ! You're my absolute favourite ! What ???

Thank you ! Nice to meet you. And I'm ... I'm ... Mike ... Mike.

Do come in. Or not ... whatever ...

Hot dogs.

Oh, my goodness, it's Kylie. it's actual Kylie Minogue. The poet ?

No, the pop star. She's huge. She's really not.

She's as beautiful as her verses. Yeah, she's rather ... fabulous.

I find myself strangely drawn to her energy.

That's uh ... What are you thinking ?

It looked pretty good, I mean I think we just need to spend a bit more time

looking at the space and ...

What's wrong with her voice ? Pot kettle black !!!

I believe she's Australian. What that means ?

She's from Australia. What that means ?

That we should probably hide the silverware.

I'm sorry, who is she ? Come on, Pat.

Surely you've watched Neighbors. That was your era.

Hang on ! You're telling me that she was on TV while I was still alive ?

Huh ! Playing what ? A fetus ?!?? Yeah, Kylie wouldn't look like that now.

It's an imposter. Yeah, this whole festival it's a sort of scam, they're con artists.

We'd really like to see the grounds. Oh, great, yeah, great idea.

I think we should go this way. Is there a bathroom I could use ?

Oh, God ! Just ... just point the way, and I'll ...

I'll catch you up. Uh, it's just ... just through there, right and then left.

Everyone, shut up !

... right now ... You ... you can see us !

Yes ! And I can hear you ... sadly ! But ... how ?

You know the roller skating montage in "Spinning Round" video ?

Is that a sentence ?

I had a fall, banged my head, and now I can see ghosts !

I know that sounds hard to believe ... No ... not at all ...

Well, good ! Now that's out in the open, let's clear a few things up !

Caveman, Australia is a large island nation in the southern hemisphere.

Huh ... what's that mean ? About which, your attitude

is tired and outdated. Well, I'm 168.

Army man. Yes, please.

I see ... I'm very much here for your people.

The forces, yeah.

Bushranger, when did you ... ?

84. Ah. Right, the "Neighbors" started in '85.

Oh, is there anything I didn't miss ?

Whilst I'm very flattered by the attention, I ...

I can't marry you, I love Alison.

Right, well that one sorted itself out. Anything else ?

Oh, she suckered you all in, hasn't she, eh ? What ? No.

Well, as the former owner of four Kylie calendars, I'm telling you

this is nothing more than a scheming lookie-likey.

I am Kylie Minogue ! Oh, yeah ? Prove it !

... and he's got a whole bunch of portaloos just there ...

So, whilst I might not be an international superstar, ... yet ..., you should

still prefer me to Kylie Minogue for the following 34 reasons. Number one ...

Mike, um, I've just found one of those things with me.

So I'm just gonna pop it back in the house with the other things.

Number two ... Yes ... and I wanted to say this for a while ...

Yeah ... I don't ... I don't really get it why ...

Can you, please, just ... just say it !

You're Kylie Minogue. Thank you !

Yeah, like that's really Jason Donovan ! You gotta be kidding me !

Kitty ...

You must be the most bloody minded group of people I've ever ...

Just checking the Acoustics ... I just practically ...

You see them too ? You see them too ?

Yes ! Yes !

This is amazing ! I never met anyone who can see them !

Me neither ! I can't believe Kylie Minogue can see ghosts !

That is not Kylie Minogue ! What ???

Um, to be honest I don't know how big an acre is !

Oh, thank God, me neither. I'll just gonna grab some pics of the house.

Yeah, sure.

Excellent ! Yes, very nice.

Okay, it's Kylie Yeah, thank you !

Kylie can see ghosts ! Seriously ???

Yeah. Is it everyone but me ???

That's not the original version. We like to mix it up.

Oh, no, not again. I'm so tired watching her talk to dead people I can't see are here !

Yes ! Literally mid-center ! We need to hang out !

So, shall I book it ? No. Let's go with that castle

we saw Friday. Didn't that place have the ghost

of an ax wealding executioner ?

Yeah, but at least there was only one of them !

Bye-bye ! Don't be a stranger !