Original subtitles

My name's John.

I'm in the witness protection program.

The Russian mob wants me dead. The love of my life was murdered. But hey, this

cool single dad's still got a lived life.

Previously on Delocated.

Promise me you'll never take him to the bone zone. This is not going to the bone

zone. I took her to the little place I like to call the bone zone.

Ow!

We miss you, Papa.

It is very sad without you, Papa.

Being here makes me want to kill John.

Why don't you?

We have truth.

What truth?

It's complicated.

It's not complicated. You know John, he has a TV show in the ski mask?

Yeah. Well, first we try to kill John, then we try to kill everyone around John

instead. Then he hire Wang Cho to kill Sergey. Let's go. But they kill Papa.

Hey, I'm horny.

Come on, I've never done it in a cemetery before.

Don't be weird.

Right over there, it'll be so hot.

No, stop it. What's gotten into you?

I had another dream about Susan from Network last night.

Was it another... Cream dream? Yeah, big time.

Nice one this week.

John, clearly Susan's rejection of you has caused an enormous mental strain on

both you and your night snake.

Yeah, my penis too.

Why don't you take a deep breath?

Hi, John. I was told you have something important to tell me.

Yes.

Somebody is taking my voice and making dance music with it. Right. I know.

Oh.

Good. So your lawyers have sent a cease and desist letter. Why would we do that?

It's huge in Russia. As of last week, Bone Zone was number seven on the

The kids out there know this show because of the Murminkis, and they love

dance. It's a no -brainer.

Oh, so then the royalty checks are in the mail, or do I get direct deposit?

No, you're not getting any money from the song.

What?

John.

The network owns the rights to be located, so any and all things you say

the cameras are rolling belong to the network.

Same goes for the songs.

Meat Sweet, Bone Zone, Rage Cage, any profits go to the network.

This is bull.

You guys are taking advantage of me and my golden pipes.

I'm sorry that you feel like that, but it's clearly stated in your contract.

Now, you listen here, Susie Q.

People watch this show to hear what I have to say. You got it?

If I'm not getting a percentage of that, then I'm not talking.

Good luck cashing the royalty checks without any bone zones coming out of

mouth. I'm on a silent strike.

Fair enough. You do whatever you feel you need to do, but be advised.

The network now owns the rights to the phrase silent strike.

Maybe I should

kill her.

Nobody killing nobody.

I will handle it.

Just get her to give him reason to break up with her.

Absolutely. Woo!

I'm ready for girls' night!

Let's do it.

Woo -hoo!

Hey, Sergey.

Come on, girl. I want to get my drink on.

Woo!

Thank you so much for inviting me out. I feel like one of the girls.

I thought it was a good idea welcoming you to family.

How are you and Evgeny?

Mmm. He's good. We're good.

That doesn't sound too happy. I know. I thought going out with a mob boss would

be, like, way more exciting.

You know? It was at first. I mean, within the first week, I saw somebody

killed, like, right in front of me. Like, really thrilling, but, like, you

super scary.

But then he's, like, begging getting to have sex with me afterward.

Ah. Did a gay always have sex with me after he killed someone?

That is what I want. I just, I thought it would be, like, way more dangerous

hot. You know?

Mmm.

That's John.

I didn't know he was a singer.

You know what would really be dangerous?

If you had sex with John.

What?

Are you serious right now? Because I won't do that. If Evgeny found out, he

would go crazy.

What could be more dangerous?

Oh, my God.

I'm totally going to... John.

We own them now.

And they're going to make great T -shirts. So thank you.

Thank you.

I'm Trish.

Look, I am, like, a huge fan of the show.

I could play coy and ask if you want to get a drink sometime or something, but

I'm just going to be honest and tell you up front that I want to screw your

brains out, like, right now.

Five, four, three, two, eight. Now we're going to speed it again.

We're here.

We're silent.

Take it as you wish.

I had sex with a blind guy once. That was pretty hot.

But silent sex is way hotter.

That coupled with the excitement of getting caught I Mean like if your

came in or something Yeah We should do this again sometime Do

you like cemeteries?

Okay,

I'm gonna get out of here I'll see myself out Oh

Oh, you are in a very good mood.

I am in a good mood. I've been working out a lot more, so I have, like, all

energy.

You smell like a hoagie.

Uh, yeah, I had a sandwich.

Sorry.

Oh, I can't stay.

I'm running to meet a friend for spin class, but I just wanted to come and see

you before I hit the gym.

Oh, look at you.

All right.

Bye. Bye, you guys.

You know, she reminds me a lot of this comedy club waitress who blew me in a

supply closet last week in Tucson.

Thank you. She is very special.

Yes, she is.

She is very special.

Oh, yeah.

Find me.

Oh, I know you're on a silent streak, just not if you're enjoying it.

Ooh.

That ain't a spin class.

Get the f*** out of here, Tartieri.

I want you to kill John. No.

Then I want you to kill Trish. Evgeny, I was the one that got her to have

affair.

I wanted you to break

up with her.

I did not know she was going to have affair with John.

And to have sex on top of grave.

The King Kong -sized balls on this woman. I have too much respect for her,

so should you. I don't. I hate her balls. This is how you run crime family.

She screw whoever she want, whenever she want, wherever she want.

No emotion. Just like you should do.

I order you to kill John. No!

You're not thinking with your brain.

You're thinking with your thing meat.

And I do not take orders from thing meat.

Good morning.

David.

Trish.

I love this suit.

Oh, yeah.

I don't know what's more annoying, the silent strike or this suit.

Oh, come on, David. It's fun.

I'm just bored of the silence. I want to hear your dad's voice, you know,

especially in the bedroom.

Ha. That's gross.

Good morning.

Good, good, good, good, good, good morning.

Yeah, you said that already.

I was just showing Trish my new shoes.

I was telling her how usually you would never buy these for me since they're

crazy expensive. But the other day when I asked you for your credit card...

See if I could take it and use it to buy these. You didn't say anything.

So, technically, you weren't saying no, so I figured it was cool.

I have to go.

I'll see you later.

Location X.

Love the shoes, David.

Thanks.

Look, Dad, technically, you're talking with that suit.

Just admit that you're not really on a silent strike and I'll stop messing with

you.

Yep.

All right.

好吧 ,让他进来。 我们有一个客人

,没有人需要担心。

Leave

it.

Your visit is very unexpected.

How can we help you, Boss Burminski?

I do not come here as Boss Burminski. I come here as Furious Evgeny.

What is the source of your fury?

My girlfriend, Trish. She is sleeping with another man.

A man you know well.

A man named John!

Continue.

I know John pays you to protect him, but I am asking you to kill John.

Whatever he pays, I will pay triple. I just want him gone.

It takes big balls to come here and speak to us like this.

Thank you.

I really needed to hear someone say that about my balls.

But the answer...

If not, I'm sorry.

Okay.

我要清除一下我的蛋卷。 I will kill John.

Oh, thank you. Thank you. I'll be in touch regarding pigment.

Thank you. Thank you. It will be our secret.

Thank you.

Last night, Evgeny came to Wenqiu headquarters and offered a great sum of

for us to kill John.

I turned him down, of course.

Of course.

But one of my men went behind my back and tried to do it himself.

That man was given the Wang Chou symbol of ultimate shame.

I will take care of my men.

Perhaps Trish needs to stop having sex with John.

Oof. Awful crowd.

Oh, hey, Steph.

You know Evgeny? Used to be a comic.

Weren't you that guy who told all the vodka jokes?

She screws whoever she wants, whenever she wants, no motion.

I'm gonna do that.

You wanna have sex in the bathroom?

Sure.

Good.

I was thinking we could break into the Merminsky's headquarters and expect in

there. Or maybe like in the parking lot or something.

Trish, I handed this to TB to read because I'm not talking.

But just to be clear, this is me saying this, not TB.

As a matter of fact, TB, please go crouch behind me so Trish can look at me

while you read it, so it appears that I'm talking.

Okay, TB.

When you're behind me, continue with the letter.

Trish, I believe everything happens for a reason.

My voice got sampled by a techno DJ.

That led me to get so angry that I stopped talking.

That led me to your...

Vagina.

And our all -day bonathons.

Whether it was in the cemetery or the... Back at TB's car.

Really, John?

Really? My car?

I'll be outside.

Oh, my God.

I do.

They're gay.

Have you been enjoying having sex with Evgeny's girlfriend?

Um, are you going to kill us? Came soon enough.

You?

I have too much respect for your balls to ever harm a single hair on your head.

Better cut up, Vic. Go wet.

Sorry, John, nothing personal.

Danger gets me so wet.

All right, tell David I said hi.

Bye.

As for you...

Seems like

everyone's been sampling John.

I'm sorry I had sex with John.

At first, I was just getting off on how dangerous it was.

But then after a while, I started getting off on messing with John's head.

In the end, it wasn't like I was screwing John.

It was like I was screwing over his soul.

I was screwing him for you.

I'm sorry too, Trish.

Why are you sorry?

Earlier tonight, I got a Todd Berry.

What's a Todd Barry?

It's a euphemism for when you get mouth sex from a desperate woman in a comedy

club bathroom. I won't do it again, I'm sorry.

No, baby!

This is what I had in mind when I started going out with a mob guy. I want

both have affairs, and then have, like, wicked fights about it, you know? And

then have, like, awesome, crazy makeup sex. Enough!

Continue to have get -together sex.

John, I know you feel strongly about this silent strike.

But it'll give you a silent stroke if you don't begin to verbalize your

emotions.

Come on, John.

Stand up.

I'm going to peel this off you.

You must have something to say after everything you've been through.

Bye.

Bye.