Original subtitles

Ladies and gentlemen, we are gathered here today to join in holy matrimony,

Torres and Bianca D'Souza.

Promise me you goofs won't have a giggle fit at your real wedding.

Looks good.

Okay, then, can we get along with this rehearsal, please?

If anyone here should object to this union, let them speak now or forever

their peace.

Make a potato! Make a potato!

Got it! Okay,

no objections, seeing as my mom's not here.

And won't be in Vegas either.

Right.

And next up, your vow? You're writing your own? Written.

I'm working on it.

And then you exchange the rings and kiss the bride.

That I can handle.

Mamma mia!

Okay, good.

Stop.

Now, let's all get ready for Las Vegas.

You ready?

Yep, I just gotta go home and get my suit.

What is it?

We won seven plane tickets to Vegas. We only filled five seats.

If we tell your folks about the wedding, they're going to try to stop it, Drew.

Yeah, you're right.

Stupid idea.

It's you and me against the world, okay?

Yeah, you're right.

And in two days, we'll be hitched.

Nothing can stop us.

Can you believe that in five hours we're going to be swimming in the ocean?

You think it'll be packed by then?

What, you'd rather I bring no clothes to Puerto Vallarta?

Ew. Gross. Can't you guys just wait until you get a room?

Aw, you guys want to help yourself so you can hold hands?

I'm actually on the way to the train station back to Cappadocia.

Boyfriend gone, sister gone.

Band scattered and no other friends to speak of.

We'll be back before you know it.

Oh. Since you're being, you know, nice for once.

Came for you in the mail.

You didn't apply, did you?

I weren't.

Well, you know, when I lost soccer and rehab, I don't know, I took a risk.

There's no way I... I got in.

Oh, my God, I got in!

Where? Why are we jumping?

Stanford! Where I always wanted to go for soccer.

It's my dream school.

So you have to be...

Some smarty pants in California next year. And we can celebrate all week in

Mexico after I tell my parents the good news.

Yeah.

Just think, before you know it, you'll be Mr. Bianca D'Souza.

You're hilarious.

No, hilarious would be Mom finding out.

Well, she can't. Stop the wedding.

She thinks bees trail the trash.

I think that's a bit of an exaggeration.

All right, do we have everything to make it look like we're going camping?

Uh, tent, sleeping bags, tarp.

Crap, I forgot the iPad.

Adam, hurry up, man. She'll be home any second.

I know. I need to Skype Becky with it. Okay. Ready?

Got it. Let's go.

Adam? You still here?

Sorry.

Adam?

Oh, true.

Long time no see.

Mom?

Actually, I'm glad you guys are here. I got you a little something.

Camp stove.

Thanks, but I can start a fire.

Well, what if it rains?

Then I'll figure it out.

Trust me.

Trust you.

Well, this year you've dropped out of school, got engaged.

Who knows what crazy thing you'll do next?

Stanford, we are so proud of you, honey.

So proud.

But?

No matter how we run the numbers.

Even with financial aid, a university like this is going to cost $20 ,000 a

year. $80 ,000 for four.

Okay, well, what if I got a job? I could flip burgers or a crap load of burgers.

With our mortgage and my medical bills.

I know. It was a pipe dream anyway.

I'm so sorry, sweetie pie. There's no way we can afford this.

No, it's okay, Mom. I'll just go to Mexico and forget I even applied.

You have a good time on your trip, okay?

Thanks. See you.

Look after her, Jake. I will.

Hey. Hey, she said they saved, like, what, $5 ,000 for you to stay home and

to TU? I mean, university's university, right?

Yeah, you know, just drop it. I don't want these stupid money problems to ruin

our spring break.

Yeah, okay.

Drew's 20 minutes late. What if he ran into Audra and she's trying to talk him

out of it? I'm pinning you. Stay calm.

Oh, my goodness. What? What happened?

You make such a beautiful bride.

Thank you, but I won't be calm until we're on that plane away from all the

Audras and Katies and all of the haters who've ever tried to come between us.

Relax. I told everyone the flight was 20 minutes earlier than it is. We'll make

it with time to spare.

I'm so glad we made you our wedding planner.

You're like a boring, detailed genius.

How can our flight be canceled?

Hurricane Stephanie hit the Gulf. No flights in or out of Mexico.

Well, now what? A staycation?

Did anybody have inline skates?

No, no. We're definitely going somewhere, okay? We just have to switch

flights to hotels.

Then we just have to pick somewhere to go.

So, Paris?

A few more pesos in Puerto Vallarta.

Vancouver? We could see those trees that are big enough to drive cars through.

And spend spring break in the rain?

Okay, Point Marisol.

Uh... What about Vegas?

Really? We're underage. We can't do much there.

No, no, no. There's, like, paintballing and roller coasters. It's practically

like a giant amusement park there. Plus, there's pools and spas and shopping.

Ooh. Plus, I might be able to win my tuition at Blackjack.

Say what?

Okay, guys, remember when I, like, ruled the Blackjack table at Degrassi's Vegas

thing? Yeah, you had...

crazy luck that night. No, but it wasn't crazy luck. My grandfather lived in

Reno and he won a small fortune counting cards and he taught me. Isn't that

illegal?

Technically, no.

And plus, I have like five hours on the plane to practice.

Come on, guys. I got into the school of my dreams and I can't afford it.

Okay, I know, I know it sounds crazy, but I at least have to try.

Right? Please, please, please, please, please.

You are the light of my life.

Isn't that a bit cliche?

So, I read Beyonce's vows. She's basically like Shakespeare, except she's

and she's left dead.

Remember that one year that Uncle Tony had his groomsmen sing his vows? Four

-part harmony?

Oh, that's so romantic.

Maybe you could do that.

Yeah, except I have one groomsman, and, well, he can't hold a note.

Hey, watch it. Talk like that and you won't have any.

All right, guys, can we just stop talking so I can work on my vows?

Sorry, I guess I'm just...

Used to big tourist weddings up at the cottage.

The cousins running around.

Yeah, well, um, this is going to be a different type of wedding, Adam.

But it'll be great.

As long as Bianca's happy.

Oh, come on, Belle.

Oh,

dear God, no. What a crazy coincidence.

Okay, if Marisol's here, that means Katie cannot be far behind. Bianca

see her.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome aboard your flight from Toronto to Las Vegas.

How are you on this plane?

Please, please tell me Katie's not here.

Wait, where is she now? The washroom?

Oh, God.

No freaking way.

Oh, no.

Oh, Katie, what are the odds that you're missing?

It's like we were taken to our wedding.

Your wedding?

Wait, you're serious?

I mean, you know, this doesn't have to be weird. Yeah, sure.

A few months ago we dated, but a few months ago Jake was with Claire, and now

they're kind of related, so you and Jake kind of, you know, you guys date.

Yeah, what I'm trying to say here, you know, is that we're all friends, right?

And we're all going to Vegas. It should be awesome.

You guys should come to the wedding.

Seriously? Jake.

Take a moment. You guys should come to my bachelor party tonight.

Oh, fun.

Yeah. And, uh, Katie, maybe you and Marisol could go to Bianca's bachelor

No? No? Or not? Oh.

I mean, we should all just chill.

Make sure you don't want the window seat or her blanket or something. Why would

you do that?

I was trying to make things less weird. By inviting your ex to our wedding?

Adam said stuff about a big Taurus wedding. I thought a few more people

hurt. Okay, so you want a big wedding or you didn't want it to be weird? I don't

know. I panicked.

I did it for you.

You know what you could do for me?

Leave me alone for the next five hours so I can get my beauty rest.

Oh, and don't go inviting any of your exes to come spoon with me, okay?

Thank you.

This is gonna be a bumpy ride.

There's slot machines in the airport. I've seen seven Hummer limos since I got

here, and showgirls just walk around like it's nothing.

Let's get this bachelor party started.

Uh, I think I need a second.

Great. While you do that, I'm going to Skype Becky, let her know we got here

safely. Sounds like a plan.

Can't stay mad forever.

Sounds like a challenge.

Look, come on. I know I messed up, but at least we'll have a few more people at

our wedding.

What happened to you and me against the world? You're all I need.

Okay, but isn't it a little bit weird we're having such a small wedding?

So Moe, Jake, Marisol, and freaking Katie are your ideal guests.

No, no, but at least they'll come.

Come on, they want to support us. That's something, isn't it?

Hi.

They

are

singing our song. That means you have to forgive me.

Fine. I forgive you.

As long as you and I are at the altar, I guess it doesn't really matter who else

is there. A wedding?

Can we come too?

Sure. Why not?

Oh, goody, I'd love me a wedding.

So, you're not mad anymore?

No.

Good.

Thanks.

Why don't we take our honeymoon suite for a little test drive?

Adam's waiting to take you to your bachelor party.

And we're waiting to take Bianca to her bachelorette party.

Oh, and phone, please. You and your fiancé are incommunicado until the

tomorrow. Thank you.

You'll take the bags up to the room?

Yes, ma 'am. Have fun tonight, but not too much fun. I love you. I love you,

too. Bye, boys. See ya.

Minus one, plus one, plus one, plus seven.

Nailed it.

Jackpot! Tiny soaps, body scrub.

It's gonna be sick.

Oh, the smallest things amuse you.

Whatever, lady. No one likes my silky smooth skin more than you. Are you

anything under that?

Bam!

I think I'm gonna let you see the show for free.

Let's go get those buffet braces before we head out. Hey, only real way to beat

the house, pay 25 bucks for a meal, eat 50 bucks for food.

Jake, I can do this, okay?

Okay. I know it. Okay, just be cautious, okay?

Okay. Bye.

Tell me again how you plan on winning 20 grand off of $200 in traveler's checks.

I'm going to use my savings.

Your university money?

Well, what if you lose? I mean, counting cards, you're no Sheldon Cooper.

No, it's easy. You just keep a single number in your head, and then you

one for every face card or 10 you see, and then add one for every non -face

card, and then bet big when the number's high. Because you're more likely to get

a 10 or a face card. Exactly.

Even you get it. Okay, but what about this? You have to be 21 to gamble.

Not if you have a fake ID.

Where did you get that?

Um, when Bianca and I went to the club.

Oh, you mean before you two were archenemies?

Yeah.

Are you ready to look older or what?

Not so fast.

I .D.? Uh, yes.

Maria Alvarez.

You're a Gemini.

Uh, Taurus.

May 20th is on the cusp.

Hmm. What's your, uh, what are they calling Winnipeg?

Postal code?

Uh, easy, Hector. They're with me. Thanks.

Sure thing, Mr. Howe.

Uh, you mind if I join you, Maria?

Uh, not at all.

As long as you don't mind watching me win.

I don't mind watching him at all.

Do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it.

Oh, no.

Fuel the bird.

There you go.

I don't want to do that again.

He's going to roast me or something.

Sure, yeah.

Getting married at 18?

It's like finally getting to the buffet of life and being like, ah, it's cool,

man, I'll just have this one piece of toast.

Forever.

New game?

Um, favorite memory of me.

How about that time you brought dog biscuits to school for lunch? Okay, I

eight, and we promised that would never go public.

Um, Mo.

Remember that time you drank the hot sauce? That was hilarious.

That was right now.

A couple seconds ago, yeah.

Yeah.

Jake?

Anything, buddy. Come on.

Okay.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That I did it video?

Which was that... You know, which was actually about you sleeping with my

girlfriend. We don't... Guy, come on.

We're supposed to make this special.

At this time, I'd like to call to the stage tonight's bachelors, Mr. Drew

and Mr. Steve Patel.

What's

wrong

with you?

Leave the old man behind.

It's not that easy, is it?

Excuse me?

Your lips are moving.

It's okay, I won't tell anyone.

Do you want to have drinks after?

Yeah, put it on ice, pal.

I'm sorry, I was talking to Maria Alvarez, was it?

Uh, my name's Katie Matlin.

Darren.

And while we're being honest, I have a boyfriend, and I'm actually here to win

my tuition for Stanford next year. Hey, go Cardinal.

I used to go there for two years until I had to drop out because my startup blew

up.

Oh, my God. You're Darren Howe?

You invented face rings? Anyways, I got a thing.

If you want some advice, you want to win your tuition back, you got to bet

bigger.

Risk equals reward.

That's $1 ,000.

You're worth it.

If you change your mind about drinks.

Katie,

what happened?

I hit a bad run, but don't worry because the count's plus nine now.

That means that there's mostly face cards left, remember?

I'd like to split.

Okay. Okay, but that's all of your money.

Gotta get out of this hole, Mayor.

Twenty. Twenty.

Okay.

Come on. Nine. Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.

Fifteen. Twenty -one. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

House wins.

That was everything my parents ever saved for me.

What am I going to do?

I don't know. You really messed up.

Thanks, man. You're supposed to be comforting me.

How is it even possible that stupid Drew has his life more together than I do?

That is not true. He has a job. He's getting married.

I can't even afford to go to TU anymore.

But this is Vegas. There has to be some way you can get the money back.

You know what? There is one thing I could do.

I don't know, Mary. He's a billionaire. Maybe he has a job for me or something.

Hi, Darren. This is Katie.

I remember how you told me to take a risk.

This is my brother, Paul.

My bride -to -be, Angie's brother, Tom.

This is my dad, Steve.

Senior!

I thought everyone's here but your mom.

Oh, yeah, she's out with Angie right now. Probably stepping dollar bills on

G -string, huh?

I can't remember.

They do that together.

They do everything together. They're family.

My mom and fiance, they don't even talk.

Actually, my mom doesn't even know I'm getting married.

I tell my mom everything.

Yeah, yeah, we used to be close. At my football games, she was the loudest

cheerleader. She'd go camping all the time.

I don't know, lately she's just been on my case for everything.

Got my dad on her side, too.

If I eloped, my mom would disown me.

Hey, man!

What? God conquers all, right?

Good luck tomorrow.

All right.

Limo's going to be here in five minutes. Take us to glow -in -the -dark

paintball.

Yeah. Give me a minute. I need to make a quick call.

I guess you're busy right now.

I just... I think we're making a huge mistake.

What are you doing? You've been

asking this guy for money. I don't even know him. Then let's go.

I mean, we can still get a swim in before the boys wake up.

No, Mary, I can't go home. and tell my parents that I lost my entire university

fund.

Nothing says good morning Las Vegas like a mimosa.

Thanks.

There you go.

So, uh, blackjack didn't go so well.

How much?

Um, $5 ,000.

Look, I'm not here for a handout or anything.

Maybe I could work for you this summer. I can type 150 words per minute and I

make a mean latte.

I've already got people that do that for me, Katie.

Right. Of course you do.

Of course you can't hire me.

No, but I can give you the money.

You would just hand over five grand?

If you spend the afternoon with me.

She's not having sex with you.

I've seen pretty women.

I think you mean a decent proposal.

Yeah, I'm not.

That kind of girl.

No, I know. But you're young, you're ambitious, you're smart. I just want to

some face range ideas by you.

Anyways, you two, uh, think it over.

Sorry. I gotta take that.

You're actually considering this?

Well, I need the money and he needs ideas.

Yeah, ideas.

What? He said no sex, so... Okay.

Do you remember Jake's doll wears flannel?

He's your boyfriend.

Oh, I don't have to tell him. Katie, I can't cover for you. I am the worst liar

in the world. Well, you're going to have to work on it, okay? Because I don't

know what else to do, and I'm in the whole mirror, and this is the only way

going to be able to pull myself out.

Girls, what do you mean there were girls there?

Well, there might have been other girls there, but I only have us for you.

Oh, that's so sweet.

Adam, call my phone.

I gotta go. Best man time. Best man ever.

Okay, well, I'm going to the pool.

Shouldn't you work on your vows or something? Just call my phone.

Okay, yeah, so it is working.

Why isn't she calling me back?

I don't know.

Didn't Imogen confiscate Bianca's phone?

Not Bianca.

Mom. You called Mom. Why would you call Mom? She thinks we're camping.

Adam, I don't think I can get married without her here.

So what? You're just going to cancel the wedding?

You're a genius.

Where are you going? To find Bianca and tell her.

She loves me. She'll understand.

Have you met Bianca?

All right. We are so riding the roller coaster at New York, New York.

Girls ready?

Um, actually, I'm really not feeling so hot. I think I might just, you know,

watch a movie in the room or something.

Well, good luck.

Wait, you're not going to play more blackjack, are you?

And by good luck, I meant with the pay -per -view remote, because you know how

tricky, you know, tricky those things.

Look, you guys have fun, okay? I'll see you at the wedding.

Okay.

Get me a...

keychain or something so I can pretend I was there.

Okay.

Okay, he's not answering the phone. Not in the room.

Hey, guys, have you guys seen Bianca today? No, what?

I have to call off the wedding. Ha!

I told you. Five bucks.

No, he does not need to call off the wedding. Drew, you're being dumb.

The only reason I went along with your crazy plan to get married in Las Vegas

because I know how much you love Bianca. Yeah.

Yeah, she's the only one who stuck with me through everything, but... Do you

want to lose Bianca forever?

After you.

I know you're paying for this, but... You have a boyfriend, yes, I know. Yeah,

and he's a lot better than the one I had last year, so I just don't want to

cross any boundaries, you know?

You said you wanted to talk about face range.

Eventually, but right now I need help with something else.

Uh, what exactly?

I need some new clothes.

Let me see.

This one?

Yeah, money can buy a lot of things.

Not style.

Um, what about this one?

All right.

So, uh, you live like this every day?

Well, I like to treat myself to the finer things.

Yeah, too bad you don't have anyone to share it with.

Well, today I have you.

You up for a concert?

Uh, yeah.

Just, um, is this okay to wear?

We could pick something new.

Yeah. Yeah, I like that one.

Go try it on.

Wow.

Wow, you nailed it.

You like?

Yes, I like.

Wow.

Your check is over here just to get the business out of the way. I'll throw in a

bottle of champagne for the newlyweds.

Thank you.

Have I mentioned that this is nuts yet?

So, how far is this concert?

It's not too far.

Oh, my God. Is that Hedley? Yeah, you like?

Hey, guys. Jacob, how are you? Good to see you. Good to see you. Boys, shall

Yeah.

How is this even real?

You want to dance?

Come on, I'm taking lessons.

I don't know. I'm going to take a note. Ready to go.

I'm willing to take you.

I will.

I don't mind if you lie in my bed.

We can stay here forever now.

So why'd you do this? I mean, the band, the dress. We didn't even talk about

face range.

Honestly?

I want to have sex with you.

Wow, that is honest.

And if you're willing, go on another $20 ,000 for that check.

Should be enough to cover your first year at Stanford, right?

I'm really sorry, but I'm just not that girl.

Okay.

Well, if you find that girl, tell her where to find me.

She should have been here ten minutes ago. You think she got delayed?

Maybe. Maybe we'll need to cancel.

Don't look so excited.

I don't know. It could be perfect. We could reschedule and... Dude, this is

happening.

Focus.

Katie is not returning any of my texts. Have you talked to her?

Uh, yeah. It's probably just bad reception in the shopping center.

You said she's there buying tights.

Yep. To match your dress.

But five minutes ago you said it was bobby pins.

I can't lie to you.

Hey.

Hey.

Maricel told you?

Yeah.

Why would you lie to me?

I'm sorry.

Okay, I...

I needed the money.

Okay, Jake, please understand, okay? I couldn't go home without my parents'

money. What is the big deal about Stanford, anyway?

It is one of the best schools around, and I got in. And that means more to you

than I do?

You know what?

Maybe if you weren't stoned all the time, you'd get it.

Wow.

Okay.

Okay, I think we're just about done here.

Jake.

Jake.

Jake, I didn't mean it.

All clear?

Still no Drew in sight, but we have to hurry.

You look so beautiful.

Are you ready to get married?

I'm so nervous I can't feel my legs. Don't worry. Once you see Drew, all

butterflies will fly away.

Oh, and here's your phone back in case you want to take some wedding pics.

20 missed calls from Drew?

I put it on silent.

Okay, I have to check my messages. No, he was probably just drunk dialing. Your

soon -to -be hubby is waiting. We have to run.

Okay, let's do this.

Guys, I still can't feel my legs.

Drew? Yeah? The front desk said she left ten minutes ago.

Okay.

Let's do this.

Uh -oh. Yeah, uh -oh.

I'll deal with you later, mister.

You came?

Yeah, right after I got your message.

Now, can we please go home before you go on with this foolishness?

What?

What are you

doing

here?

He called me to tell me he was making a big mistake getting married.

You said that? No.

I have not. Yes.

Please, please. Let me explain.

No, save it, Drew. I get it.

I'll never be enough for you.

I'm going to find Bianca.

No, you need to talk to me. Stop telling me what to do.

I'm going to get the love of my life.

Mm -hmm. Go ahead, honey.

Express yourself.

Uh, excuse me.

Were you not the one who called me?

Am I not here to talk some sense into you because you were making a huge

mistake? The mistake that I thought I was making was getting married without

here.

I guess I was wrong.

Drew, you're 18 years old.

You have your whole life ahead of you. Thanks to you, Bianca might not be in

I know you never approved of her and you told her to her face that she wasn't

good enough for me.

But I love her.

And I need her in my life, so please, please do not make me choose.

I just... I can't support a teen wedding.

Okay.

But for once, will you please just support me?

Some spring break, huh?

Want some champagne?

For the wedding gift.

This must have cost a thousand dollars.

Yeah, probably.

I don't know, some rich guy gave it to me.

Why? Did you have sex with him?

Of course not.

But if I did, he would have given me a lot more than a bottle of champagne.

How was he, like, a million years old?

The rich dude who gave you the champagne.

No, actually, he was, like, 23, 25 tops.

And cute.

Really cute. And he planned this amazing, amazing afternoon for us.

My guy ditched me at the altar.

Can't count on anyone, can you?

Well, I, um, I thought I could.

I messed up so much this year.

I feel like I need a fresh start. I need Stanford, you know.

Whatever it takes, right?

Yeah.

I'm sorry, I gotta go.

It's beautiful.

Yeah.

Yeah, just like you.

Is it getting hot in here?

Yeah, definitely.

No, um, I mean, can I, um, get a glass of water?

Yeah,

sure.

Good. You're still here.

Oh. So our wedding's a bust and you go to the gym to work out. That's awesome,

Drew. Look, I was a fool today.

That's generous.

But I'm about to do something even more foolish.

Why men say only fools rush

in.

But I can.

I can't help falling in love with you.

Shall I stay?

Would it be a sin if

I can't help falling in love with you?

Take my hand,

take my whole life too.

For I can't help falling in

love with you.

For I can't help falling

in love with you.

You did all this?

No.

I had a lot of help.

I think that's the point.

And they should be at our wedding.

So you still want to get married?

Yes.

Bianca D'Souza.

You're the light of my life.

Not the only light, but definitely the brightest.

Will you marry me?

Sometime.

In front of everyone we know and love.

Yes. Yes?

You okay?

Um, no, not really.

Um, Mary, I need to tell you something.

I went to Darren's room last night.

You what?

No, it's just that he offered to pay for Stanford an entire year, and Jake and I

basically broke up. Oh, my God, that is so dangerous.

Did you?

He left me alone at one point to get me a drink.

And I saw my reflection in the glass, and I don't know, it just didn't look

me. It looked like some desperate girl.

I just, I couldn't think any further, so I grabbed my bag and I ran.

Oh, girl, you had me so worried. Yeah, I know, I know. I'm glad I got out.

Hey, uh, thanks for the keychain.

Uh, it wasn't me.

I lost a really great guy, huh?

You want me to switch seats so you can beg for forgiveness?

No, no, um, I think I should take a break from voice until I figure out my

future.

Kitty, you're never going to be alone, okay?

You're always going to have me.

Thank you.

Non -alcoholic bubbly for all.

Now with a few words to start this engagement party, my darling wife.

Well, we've all been through a lot this year.

But no one's been through more than these two.

And to be honest, part of me blamed Bianca.

Mom. I know.

It wasn't fair.

I know.

And Bianca, I want to welcome you to the family with open arms.

Which is why I helped you with a little something.

I hope this makes it a little bit more official.

It's beautiful.

Thank you.

It was my grandmother.

Wow.

Congratulations.

I really missed you.

I missed you too.

Isn't life a little easier when it's not just you and me against the world?

Yeah. Yeah.