Original subtitles

? Look up there ?

? What do you see? ?

? Nature and stuff ?

-? Like a rock ? -? And a tree ?

? Oh, the Great North ?

? Way up here you can breathe the air ?

? Catch some fish ?

? Or gaze at a bear ?

? Wow ?

? Oh, the Great North ?

? Here we live, oh, oh ?

? Here we'll stay, oh, whoo ?

? From longest night to longest day ?

? In the Great North ?

[cheering]

[grunting]

Man, I'm so jacked to my core

that the Death Cliff Wrestling season starts tonight.

You know it's me and Dad's...

[in deep voice] ...number one father-son tradition!

-[in normal voice] You keyed up, Dad? -[sighs]

Sure, son. But first, I'm keyed up to finish work.

You ready for our signature move, the Heli-Pop-Ter?

Wolf, no. You broke both of Dad's elbows doing that when we were little.

-[grunts] -Whoop. Why don't we

save this energy for tonight?

Seriously, Wolf, I need to get to the mall.

I'm working tonight.

Alyson apparently hired a new employee, and I have to train them.

And the rest of us wanna go ride

-the new mall animal scooters. -Yeah.

Okay, but...

[in deep voice] ...the Luscious Lumberjack can't be stopped! [grunts]

-Hey! -Babe, come on!

-Here comes a Daddy Slam. -[grunts]

-Wolf, enough! -[grunts]

-[Wolf] Oh! It's not over! -[Honeybee] Wolf!

-[Judy] Oh, crap. -[Wolf] Oh, no!

[groans] Wolf, that was like a thousand dollars' worth of fish.

Dad, don't stress. You know what they say,

-"Plenty of fish in the sea." -[sighs wearily]

[sighs]

Why so tense, Beef?

Did you just find out that Lacey Chabert

is stepping away from her Muffin Shop Mystery series?

No, I'm pissed at Wolf.

He's not always the best fisherman,

or even sometimes the best fisherman.

Oh, yeah. You've said.

Honestly, sometimes I wish I could just hire a part-time deckhand, but...

[sighs] ...I guess I'm stuck with Wolf.

[Wolf] Stuck with whom, Father?

Oh. Uh, Wolf, I didn't see you there.

Nevertheless, he persisted

in having been here and heard every word.

-Son, I'm sorry. It's just- -No, thank you.

And you can forget about going to wrestling tonight.

I am officially uninviting you and taking Cheesecake.

Oh, boy, that seems bad.

Uh-huh. As Lacey Chabert says in Muffin Shop Mysteries,

"Banana Bread Burglaries."

Aw, nuts.

Hello, Judy.

I'm here to start my new job.

Oh, wow. Uh, Mr. Golovkin, you're the new hire?

Yep, yep. Teacher's salaries, blah, blah, blah. You get it.

I am at your service.

Okay. Well, uh, welcome aboard.

I guess we'll start your training on the cash register.

Ah, yes, the cornerstone of any business.

The cash register.

All right. A couple of the keys stick,

so we don't do any prices with eight or three in them.

And, uh, speaking of keys,

are there, by any chance, any secret employee-only hallways

that I now have access to?

Uh, yes. Actually, why?

Oh, just for safety reasons.

If there was, like, a fire or a heist or something.

Heist? [chuckles] I think you'll find it's pretty uneventful around here.

Hmm, until it isn't.

-What? -Carry on.

Okay.

And this is the closet where we keep

-the cameras we use. -Jackpot.

And which of these would you use to take pictures

of someone who was, like, say, a thousand feet away?

I guess the telephoto lens.

-Hmm. -But our studio is only,

like, 20-feet wide,

-so you won't need it. -[Mr. Golovkin] You won't need it.

-You okay? -Yes.

I guess I'm just nervous about my new job.

-Whoa! -Get down! He'll see you.

Who will see me? You are acting so bizarre.

What on earth are you up to?

I can't blow my cover.

Meet me at the second-floor bench tomorrow,

and I'll tell you everything.

[grunting]

-I was never here. [grunts] -Mmm.

-[wrestlers grunting] -And Count Jacked-ula pins Chokenstein!

-[grunting continues] -It's technically Chokenstein's monster.

-Ugh. -Oh, what's wrong, pal?

You usually love it when I shout corrections.

[sighs] Oh. I overheard my dad talking crap about me.

He said I wasn't good at my job, but he's stuck with me.

I always thought my dad was a good guy, like...

like Prince James The Angel,

but I guess he's more of a heel, like Demon Dave The Baby-Eater.

And now, an exciting announcement.

We've had a lot of injuries and incarcerations,

and two outbreaks of Legionnaires' disease,

-so we're looking for some new wrestlers. -Huh.

If you're interested and vaccinated, see Jacked-ula after the show.

There are no benefits, but there is pay, intermittently.

And we have sandwiches backstage...

Sandwiches.

...also intermittently. Oh, and just a reminder,

there is still no smoking in the building.

And please don't flip your cigarette into your mouth and eat it if we catch you.

Cheesecake, did you hear that?

Yeah. I thought it was fine to eat a cigarette if they caught you.

No, the other part.

Getting a job as a wrestler. It's perfect.

Since my dad wishes he could fire me,

I'm gonna fire myself.

[Wolf clears throat]

Honeybee, please inform the man formerly known as my dad

that I am quitting the boat

to become a professional wrestler called The Luscious Lumberjack.

I think he heard you, Wolf.

Son, I've said I'm sorry. Please don't quit the boat.

Honeybee, tell my former boss and father that my mind's made up.

I'm gonna put some eggs in my pocket and go.

Don't wanna be late for training.

Oh, and Beef Tobin, say hi to Rolf for me.

Who's Rolf?

I'm assuming that's the name of the new deckhand you'll be hiring.

I'm sure he's great. He sounds incredible.

All right, now I'm leaving for my new job. Goodbye.

Any chance you can talk Luscious out of this?

Nope. Tried to talk boyfriends out of wrestling before.

It just makes them wrestle harder.

Got it.

All right, everybody, you probably know me as Jacked-ula.

Whoa! It's so great to meet you.

Big fan of your throat punches.

Aw. That's very sweet of you to say.

I hope you are all ready to learn a lot pretty quick,

because we will need you all trained and ready by, uh, when was that, Carl?

-Tonight! -Tonight.

So, let's go around and introduce our characters.

My character is The Luscious Lumberjack.

Hero or heel? You wanna get a lot of cheers or a lot of boos?

Oh, hero, for sure.

-Tantalizing Turkey. -Hero.

I'm The Co-Worker.

I microwave fish, and take your yogurt, and comment on your body.

Okay, heel.

-And that, actually, is my yogurt. -Deal with it.

Now, let's talk moves.

It's just a show, so nobody's getting hurt out there.

And during a match, whoever's getting the most attention,

woos or boos, is the one who's gonna take the victory.

So, if that isn't you, back down and take the loss.

If the crowd's dead, so is your wrestling career.

So, anybody working on a signature move?

Only my whole life.

Me and my dad have been coming here since I was a kid.

My move is called the Sap Slap.

I make my hand really sticky and then slap you!

-Nice. -I also have one called the Sexual Timber.

Let's see the first one.

-[Mr. Golovkin] Put these on. -Okay.

And why are we wearing disguises?

So he won't see us.

That man is Granville Tenders,

my sworn enemy.

The train driver?

He's so nice!

[chuckles] Oh, you're so naive, Judy.

Beneath that striped hat is the twisted mind of a monster.

Granville Tenders is an ex-member of my train club,

kicked out for breaking the golden rule of train club,

"Don't steal another person's train."

You see that caboose car right there?

It's mine. For my Wabash Cannonball.

-What? -My Wabash Cannonball.

The personal recreational locomotive in my yard.

You have your own kiddie train at your house?

[chuckles] It's not a kiddie train.

My engine car has a holder for a Conductor's Cocktail.

Doesn't get more much grown up than that.

Why do I feel like we are no closer

to finding out what you're doing here?

Granville Tenders stole that caboose car

when it was delivered to my porch,

and I am here to steal it back.

So, this is a train robbery?

You bet your ass it is. But it isn't gonna be easy.

Granville is wily as hell.

You know this mall like the back of your hand.

I could really use your help.

Hmm. Okay.

But in return, I want ten pre-signed late slips

-and Andy Montag's desk near the window. -Done.

I'm gonna live forever!

In this corner,

she'll ask you about your weekend,

hoping you'll ask her about hers.

It's The Co-Worker!

Everyone to the break room now

to sign the birthday card for Trish.

-[audience booing] -And in the other corner,

it's the, uh, Losing Lumberjack.

It's Luscious. Yeah, I'm the, uh, Luscious Lumberjack.

And I'm here fighting for, uh, beauty and, uh, uh, truth.

-And, uh- -[man] Start the match!

-[bell dings] -All right, it's on!

-Here comes the Three Hole Punch! -[grunting] Ow!

Ooh, that's gotta hurt.

-[crowd cheering] -[bell dings]

And the Losing Lumberjack lives up to his name.

[groans]

-'Sup, Luscious? -Before you say anything,

I know I did a bad job,

and you probably wanna replace me with a deckhand named Rolf,

and I deserve it.

I'm not gonna fire you.

We need warm bodies to keep the lights on around here.

We're broke as hell.

I used to supplement this place with a shaved ice truck

that I sold cocaine out of.

But now everyone wants fro-yo and fentanyl, so here we are.

So, I still have a job?

Until the feds flip me, yeah.

I just think you need a better character.

You gotta tap into something emotional.

Got any ex-wives?

No, happily married.

Mmm. Enemies? Arch-nemesis?

Well, there is someone I'm kinda pissed at,

but it's my dad, and he wouldn't make a good villain.

Are you kidding me? Dads?

So many people have papa-trouble, kid.

Nah, there's no way I could do it.

He'd be so angry.

-[gasps] He'd be so angry. -[cell phone vibrates]

Oops, I gotta get to the woods. I'm getting a free haircut.

Lock up, okay?

For real, I spent, like, 18 hours on Vidvok,

and I know how to disable the governor on the puppy scooter now.

Huh. I guess the Internet is good.

I'm gonna get that plush bastard

up to 12 miles per hour tonight.

Actually, I was thinking we could all go support your brother

in his second wrestling match tonight.

Really? I thought you and Wolf were feuding.

He may be planning to feud, but I plan to father.

And hopefully, when he sees me there tonight cheering him on,

he'll accept my apology and come back to work.

He could probably use the support.

He said a bunch of people threw cans at him last night.

Oh, we can throw stuff at 'em?

I'll bring my sack of batteries.

-[bell dings] -And in tonight's opening bout,

we have the Tantalizing Turkey!

Ah! No batteries!

Grow up.

And let's meet his opponent,

-the Big Bad Dad! -[audience applauding]

Uh-oh.

[mimics Beef] Daddy's home.

Is he... is he supposed to be me?

Uh, it could be any dad, not necessarily you.

And this Turkey right here better have gotten all his work done on my boat,

The Mighty Beef.

Seeming more likely to be you now.

Hmm.

[audience booing]

How dare you boo me?

I can't believe I'm stuck with this audience.

Maybe I'll just hire a whole new one.

All named Rolf.

I hate you, Dad!

-Don't make me turn this arena around. -[booing continues]

By God, he's doing it.

-[clangs] -[grunts]

Argh! Somebody's looking for a time out.

-[Wolf grunting] -[Turkey groaning]

You okay there, Beef?

Yep, yep. He's angry, and that's okay.

I'll just let him get it out of his system

by impersonating me in this hurtful way,

and then hopefully, he'll be back on the boat real soon.

And it's not like anyone knows this is based on you.

Hey, it's Bad Dad. [laughs]

Ground me.

[audience booing]

Fire good. Dad bad.

Enjoying your coffee, Bad Dad?

I'm not a bad dad, Londra.

You know that's just a character.

All I know is coffee good. Dad bad!

You're going to heaven with no dessert, son. [grunts]

Hey, Beef. How's it feel to be the Bad Dad's dad?

-Bad. -I knew it.

Ooh. Look, everyone's glowering at you.

Hello. Hi.

-Not actually bad. Hey! -Ooh!

[audience booing]

I'm about to sweep the deck! [grunts]

I'm not mad.

I'm just disappointed!

[Beef] I guess I can't use you anymore.

Or any of you.

[sighs]

Are you sure we can trust this posse of yours?

Uh-huh. They're basically family.

Hey, got your text, Jude.

We doing crimes over here?

I always knew my life would end at the Point & Shoot.

All right, gather around.

But please, no one touch my meticulously set-up

scale reproduction of tomorrow's heist.

Sorry.

Tomorrow we're going to take back what's rightfully mine.

The Wabash Cannonball's caboose.

The mall train always goes on the same path around the lower courtyard.

Judy will buy a ticket here at the disgustingly named Inspiration Station

and ride discreetly in the caboose.

I've ridden a few cabooses discreetly

-in my day. -Yes, very good.

When the train passes between the gross massage chairs

and the shuttered boba shop,

Ham, Moon, and Aunt Dirt will stage an animal scooter breakdown on the path.

Bark! Quack! Moo! Screams!

The train stops cold.

I'll go fully limp, as if deceased.

The carnage will take minutes to clear.

I'm getting chills.

While Granville Tenders works to clear the chaos,

I'll conduct my engine out of the men's restroom.

Judy will then detach the caboose

and reattach it to its rightful engine.

-Then I take my gun out- -No, no, no. No, no guns.

With the caboose attached,

I leave that shady bitch Granville none the wiser

as I chugga-chugga-chugga back home.

Mmm. Choo-choo, sir.

Hey, Chachi, you still sitting here moping

just 'cause one of your kids hates you

and everyone in town thinks you're kind of a dirtbag?

Yes. I don't know how to get through to Wolf.

I've apologized a dozen times, made his favorite dinners,

but nothing's working.

-[door knob rattles] -Greetings. I have returned.

Uh, I see that. But why?

School doesn't get out for two more hours.

Oh, my shop teacher is a big Death Cliff wrestling fan.

So, when I told him that Bad Dad was based on my real dad... [chuckles]

...he started crying and gave me the rest of the day off.

Oh, my God. I am not a bad dad.

I did one bad thing!

I am going to put a stop to this for good.

You wanna go dumpster-diving at the pretzel factory?

They throw out all the misfits.

Hell, yeah. I'll grab the big salt.

[knocking]

[Wolf] Uh, no autographs during my off hours.

I am not an autograph seeker.

Oh, hello, Beef.

Are you here to ask me to vacate

so Rolf can move in and marry Honeybee and start wearing my socks,

even though his feet are bigger than mine and he'll blow out all the toes?

You got a lot of nerve, buddy.

No, none of that.

I am here to ask you to stop doing the Bad Dad character.

Why? Is it hurtful to hear the truth about yourself?

It's not true.

But you know how everyone in a small town talks.

People are starting to believe it.

I'm just doing my job. The job I'm good at.

I'm pure gold in the ring, and no one tries to replace me.

I didn't replace you.

Please, Wolf, stop doing the wrestling.

-I beg you. -No.

Then I forbid it!

You can't forbid it!

Damn it! I was hoping

-you didn't know that. -Well, I do!

Wolf, is there anything I can do or say to make this stop?

Yes. You can say that I'm actually great at my job,

and you've never wished you could hire a deckhand.

I'm sorry. I can't say that.

All right. If you can't say that, then I'm never going back to the boat!

So tell Rolf to apply for permanent residency...

[door slams]

...'cause I assume he's from Sweden!

[door slams]

[sighs]

Hey, are you that Bad Dad guy?

The one the wrestler's based on?

Yep. Yep.

I guess I actually am.

Oh, man, you're my hero.

-Huh? -Oh, my kid hates me.

It's great to finally see myself represented, you know.

Great. Thanks.

You don't seem too jazzed, brother. What gives?

Well, it's just that I don't like my kid hating me.

Ah. Don't take it too hard.

Kids usually come around.

Mine always feels better if I let him take a swing at me.

Like, punching?

Yeah, punching, grappling, windmill slap, whatever works.

And then he stops being mad at you?

Sure.

When I crashed his moped last Christmas, he was pissed as hell at me,

until he got in a few good nut kicks.

Then we were two peas in the pea-house again.

-Huh. -Until I slept with his fianc�e, Shamona.

Now, it was a honest mistake.

I just really wanted to make love to her, and she felt the same way.

And we didn't even know he was awake.

Okay, that's...

-I gotta go. -Oh, what,

you never got drunk at your son's wedding and slept with the bride?

Ooh, la, la, Your Highness.

[? thrilling dramatic music playing]

Thank you, young lady.

Enjoy your ride.

Hey, mount up, Moon.

-[chair whirring] -[voice shaking] Sorry.

Giddy up.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Trains full, little buddy.

-[grunts] You'll be on the next one. -[train horn toots]

All aboard the Lone Moose Friendship Express, where all are welcome.

[Mr. Golovkin] Time to pay, freak.

Godspeed, everyone.

-[train horn tooting] -Huh?

Help! Help! Cow down!

-Cow down! -What in the world?

Aren't you gonna stop for two to three minutes to assist us?

I'm fully limp, sir.

I know a scooter scam when I see it.

[Mr. Golovkin] Oh, no, no!

And now, you don't have to wait for him to get home, 'cause he's right here!

The father who's making a bother.

The papa who'll drop ya.

-The Big Bad Dad! -[audience booing]

[man] I hate you!

-And facing off against him... -[Wolf grunts]

...making his big debut,

welcome to the ring, the real Big Bad Dad!

-[audience gasps] -[groans softly]

Dad?

[? intense music playing]

[horn tooting]

-[Mr. Golovkin] Granville! -Who the heck are you?

You'll never find out... Oh, shoot.

Golovkin!

Give me back my caboose!

Never!

[both grunting]

Don't slap my belly!

-Mr. Golovkin! Fountain! -[grunting continues]

Oh, dear God.

-Let go, you fool! -[horn tooting]

I'd rather die! [grunts]

-[crashes] -[Granville grunts]

Hey, Granville. Missing something? [chuckles]

I'm talking about this caboose I just uncoupled,

if that wasn't clear.

So what?

You've got no engine to pull it out of here.

I took the governor off this bad boy.

He can pull the train's ass easy.

Thank you, but please don't call it a "Train's ass."

[? upbeat exhilarating music playing]

[both grunting]

-[grunts] Ow! -[Judy] Ah!

[Granville grunting]

No!

No!

That's my train's ass! Mine!

I stole it fair and sqa... [groans]

-[? triumphant music playing] -Welcome home, caboose.

-Whoo! -Get along,

-little dogie. -Yee-ha!

Hey, Mr. Golovkin,

-you're fired. -Thank you, Judy.

You were a hell of a boss.

What are you... what?

Well, I figured, if you're so angry at me,

maybe I ought to let you get a few swings in.

What? No, I'm not gonna... I don't wanna hit you.

Okay, but I'm not leaving this ring till we figure this out.

What's to figure out?

You don't think I'm good at fishing.

You don't appreciate me or the things I do for you.

[crowd booing]

Come on. Crowd's getting restless.

Give me a Heli-Pop-Ter.

-You'll feel better. -Fine.

-[grunting] -Whoa!

-[grunts] -[Beef thuds]

Okay that did feel good.

-Headlock? -Oh, yeah, good idea.

-But I'm still mad, FYI. -[grunts]

Look, I'm sorry, but I meant what I said to Londra.

Honestly, sometimes you do make my job harder than it needs to be.

-Ow! -Is that "Ow" for the headlock

or the words?

-Words. I... I'm gonna kip-up now. -Go for it.

-[grunts] -Wolf, you'll always be my kid,

but you're not a kid anymore.

You're an adult, and you're my deckhand.

I need to be able to call you out if you're not doing your job.

Okay, but if you need to call me out, you gotta say it to my face, Dad.

Overhearing it sucked!

[groan] Fine. I promise I will.

And I'll say this to your face right now.

Even though you're frustrating at times, you're also a lot of fun.

And I would never, ever replace you,

even if Rolf's residency got approved.

-Really? -Really.

All right, Dad. Apology accepted.

Should we seal the deal with a Powerbomb?

I don't know that one, but-

[screams and grunts]

-[audience cheering] -Whoo-ho-ho! I feel incredible.

[groans] Wait, no, I think both my elbows are broken again.

[chuckles] Me too.

Dad? Yeah, It's me, Bob.

Look, I don't care if you slept with Shamona.

And in your defense, I was asleep.

[audience chanting] Bad Dads! Bad Dads! Bad Dads!

? Now Lone Moose was a peaceful town ?

? Til Granville Tenders came around ?

? Stripe-ed cap Heart of stone ?

? Couldn't leave anyone's caboose alone ?

? The day that Granville Tenders came to town ?

? There was only one man who could stop him ?

? His name was Theodore Golovkin ?

? They had a showdown at the mall ?

? The bigger you are the harder you fall ?

? The train cried out a mournful sound ?

? And now it goes around and round ?

? But the conductor no longer makes a sound ?

? 'Cause today the good Golovkin shot him down ?

? 'Cause today the good Golovkin shot him down ?

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0