Original subtitles

You will never guess what I'm watching right now. Papo!

Run! It's gonna blow!

I never took money for any of my fires, not once. Maybe I could, uh, coke Angel

out for just one more drink.

I've just been brought up to speed by your, um... What are you again? It's

Handler.

I've been working as a sort of undercover insurance agent.

If you're gonna lie to me, at least come up with something plausible.

That pays low.

Pays real good. I think we better lay low, especially with Lionel coming.

Here he comes!

Hey!

How do you like it, Jimmy?

Looks pretty good, Dick. Oh, well, enjoy it, kid. It's going to be a special

weekend for our protected family.

Someone's angling for a raise.

The cider, everybody. Don't forget to try the cider.

Welcome, protected.

Welcome. I'm Faith, your facilitator.

This weekend is all about sharpening our skills as insurance providers, learning

new techniques to help us help our client base find a little more security

insecure world.

Protected, the name that puts Rapid in rapid response.

Hey. How about a hand for our stuntman?

Good job, good job.

Everyone, the man from Protected himself.

Hey.

He's come a long way to help us team build. And believe me, that little

you just saw was...

this weekend, so get ready to learn.

Hey, you all right there, Dick?

You're protected.

You're protected.

What's the line? We're all professionals here. We do what we're supposed to do.

It's the f***ing smoke. Maybe it's... It hurts.

You sit on it. Join our... Join...

You're going to fall off, Frank. It's not going to work.

Okay, come on. I'm going to get me out of here.

What? So forth? Okay.

Here, here.

Okay,

who the f*** is that?

That's protected insurance. It's all done with something called green screen.

It's all very technical, but in layman's terms, the Arctic, the jungle, it's not

really there.

It's so real.

Like even when he's sober, he can hardly keep his hands off me.

Oh, magic.

Thank you, my dear. Oh, no, no, no. Party,

Dick. Loosen up.

Good luck for that.

We got a book and a chat in tomorrow, Dick.

Got some hot news about that thing they're discussing.

Any time.

It's really, really dark out there.

What the hell's got up your eyes?

I've been talking to you.

Don't you throw me off my game, you crazy shit. I spent a long time getting

zone for this.

What zone?

Don't listen to them with their team -building bullshit. The Brats can use

thing to rank up, decide who stays, who goes, and who doesn't get a race.

Whoa.

That sounds a little paranoid.

I just... I happened to turn you away from the grown -up table, Wes. Oh, see,

like to think of myself as a top -end bottom -drawer guy, Bart.

What about you, Poppo?

I think I'll just have another glass of Popeye's homemade wine. Ah, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no.

You wouldn't let me throw your proper bachelorette party, so you are all mine

all weekend.

Delicious.

Oh,

sorry, I knocked a couple times.

Are you the tenant?

Yeah, I am.

Is everything okay?

Yeah, don't worry. Just someone tipped off the city, that's all. Seems like

of these units don't have smoke detectors.

Oh, well... We're good.

Mind if I test it?

Sure.

There you go. Yeah.

Okay. Last call, little sister.

We can round up the bridegals. We can go out and do it upright.

Someone getting married?

Yeah, that would be me. Two weeks.

Oh.

So that's the heat I'm feeling.

That must be why I'm all hot and bothered.

Hey, can I come in a second?

I don't think that's a very good idea.

I won't stay long.

Where?

Okay.

So?

Speak.

Lionel. None of your business.

I know.

You're right.

It's just, you could do so much better than that.

Makes signals, don't you think, Sidney?

I didn't mean it that way.

It's just that it's Lionel.

There's nothing there except Lionel.

Plus, the guy's married, right?

Oh, wow.

Jesus Christ.

Really, Jimmy, you know what?

You are the one with the forever fantasy in your head.

Good for you.

No, really, I mean it.

Good luck to you.

I don't.

Howdy, neighbor.

Byrne.

Uh, Mr. Byrne and I were just discussing a... Travel emergency claim.

Thailand.

Thanks for the advice, Counselor. Mm -hmm. Talk with you later.

Hey,

Lou.

Sounds like a party.

Yeah.

And it's nearly naked and has long hose.

She told me it would be tasteful.

I could kill you both.

Ah, you like that?

How's it going over there at the retreat?

Oh, awful.

I'd rather get a lap dance from a fireman.

I miss you.

I miss you, too.

Did you call Walker? About being your best man?

I left a message.

It's a long shot, Lou. You know, Ella's sick and doing a lot of traveling.

I know, but it would still be great if we could make it.

I did get a call back from that foster mom you wanted to invite, and she's in.

I gotta go.

Teresa, you know, she who must be obeyed.

Okay. Don't do anything I wouldn't do.

Yeah, I like that marriage to fields.

Don't turn it on, man. Don't turn it on.

Don't... Damn it! I said don't turn it on.

What's going on there, Papa?

Jimmy. Jimmy, I know that you... You and Art done the Russians to the cops. I

know. I know, and I know that they're gonna find out.

You're talking shit.

And I never want to hear another word. Do you understand?

Do you understand? Jimmy.

Jimmy, I've done things.

Hidden things.

You're gonna find out and I'm gonna kill me.

Do your best.

Huh?

I think maybe... Maybe it's time you closed up the drugstore, pal. No, no,

disagree.

I disagree.

Join me.

The method. The method will ensure client satisfaction with every insurance

adjustment. And by the end of this weekend, the method will seem like

nature. Now, does anyone want to guess what the three B's are about?

Yes. Hi. A bond is to establish a rapport with the client, blame to get

client to accept blame for their condition, baptize to provide client

That's dead on, actually.

Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.

The workshop is designed to get you to practice the steps involved.

Now, why have we chosen... Work call.

Why the letter B?

It's at 3 o 'clock, I think.

Where are you going, Mr. Byrne?

Uh, work call. Thailand?

No, just local.

It can wait.

We pay good money for these training seminars, and I want to make sure our

folders give us back our money's worth.

Okay.

step to bonding with your client is to isolate your client.

In order to establish a rapport, you need to get them one -on -one.

Poppo, you'll play the insurance adjuster.

But I am an adjuster.

Faith, why don't I do this one? Why don't you wait your turn, Mr. Burr?

And Carlos, you'll play the client who's been burned in the fire.

Great, thanks.

Love fires.

Whatever Carlos says, Papo, make sure you

isolate him. You need to bring him all alone into the bonding position. Just

and him.

Go.

Hi, I'd like to file an insurance claim because I've been badly burned working

at a company retreat.

Yes,

sir. Well, I think that we can settle your claim right over the phone right

But I'm in so much pain. I need a lot of support. I'd like to come down with my

wife and my parents and a priest. I need real protection.

You're messing with me, Carlos.

Okay, just role play.

I need a lawyer, and, uh, oh, and I'm gonna get an independent adjuster to

down and estimate how much money you actually owe me.

But I don't owe anybody. I paid it all back to me at his location.

You lost me, pal, and my role is to ask you for the money. I don't owe anybody

anything! Papo! Hey,

hey, hey, Papo, Papo.

Keeping it real.

Dick, shall we?

It wasn't easy, just so you know.

Took a lot of thought.

Big decision.

Oh, I know.

But at the end of the day, you have to admit.

hook you for a round here. I hope you don't mind.

Is everything okay?

Apparently he was a little off.

He passed over for the VP job in Denver.

I didn't know there was an opening.

Oh, yes, sir.

Lionel's offered it to Catherine.

Catherine's going to Denver?

Yeah, she accepts it.

Everything's going to be all right.

Really.

So when were you going to tell me about Denver?

There's a protocol around these things.

I haven't made a formal decision yet. So you're going?

Again. None of your business.

Hey.

Don't go.

Why not?

Don't do that.

Hey.

Hey. What are you doing here?

I know, I know. No spouses.

But...

We're not married yet, so I thought maybe... Okay, come with me. Okay.

How did you get here?

I took Teresa's car.

She was so hammered she didn't notice.

Figured it's a win -win.

I get away from her and I get you.

I don't have much time before the next session.

We'll just call it an appetizer.

Like those crispy shrimp things we're paying too much peace for at the

I

don't care what

the bitch says. The surround sounds mine. Don't leave the house without it.

Enjoying the weekend, Wesley?

Oh, absolutely.

All top -notch.

But this, uh, Catherine thing is... It's worrying me a bit.

What thing is that?

I hear you're bringing her to Denver. I'm not all that confident she's

VP material.

Is that right?

Dick authorized me to do some keystroke surveillance.

Some of her emails are troubling.

Alcohol problem, drug abuse.

She even lost custody of her kid for a while.

And she's been carrying on with the grunts. An adjuster.

Highly inappropriate for someone who's VP.

Good stuff.

Keep the shit under the wrap.

bonded with your client, you are in a position to get them to accept blame.

Make them understand in one way or another it's their fault.

It is they who made the wrong choices.

Now, who wants to be the burn victim this time?

I do.

Why, thank you, Dick.

I'd like Jimmy to be the adjuster, please.

Let's assume you've already established a bond and begin.

I'm sorry for your pain.

Do you want to tell me how it happened?

Yeah, I was pouring out the cider and I backed up and I caught on fire.

Had you ever done this sort of job before?

Never in a million years did I think I'd ever be capable of doing anything like

that. A little louder, please. Louder.

It was my first time on side of duty, and I had no training whatsoever.

Accidents like yours are nobody's fault.

Sometimes they just happen, no matter what we hope.

We like to think there's a bigger picture, but it's not always there.

Sometimes it's just real bad luck.

Well done, Jimmy. Nice technique.

Lucia!

What are you doing here?

Lionel, hey!

Hi.

I know I'm not supposed to be here.

Ah, nonsense.

Great to see you.

Fresh face with all these steps.

Been in the night?

It was sort of our top secret plan.

Yeah.

Give me a sec. I'll buy you a margarita.

Baptize. You are the client's salvation.

Wes, you'll play the burn victim this time.

And Jimmy, you did such a great job with Blame earlier, I think you should play

our adjuster again.

I'll give you five grand.

That's it.

But I have catastrophic injuries.

Like I care.

I can get you to sign up for nothing.

You're dreaming.

You know I'm going to need extensive therapy after reconstruction. Okay, no,

no, no, you two. We've already established bond and blame. No, no, no.

There used to be a thing called an accident of faith.

You know, sometimes shit just happens.

And that's what insurance is supposed to pay for. I'll refer you to the method.

No, we don't need a method.

That's just another word for screwing people over, and every person in this

is already an expert.

Well, would anyone else like to give it a try?

Jimmy's a great guy.

Yeah, thanks.

But I bet you my wife would be held out a little bit longer before she tied

herself down. Or quite that it. Oh, I don't think that it's being tied down.

Just don't limit yourself.

It would break my heart.

You're sitting with me tonight.

Beyonce can come too.

So it's a church wedding?

Catholic.

I know, but you have to throw the family something, right?

So what's the dress like?

It's pretty great.

Vera Wang.

Whoa! Someone's been saving their shekels. I don't think I've got my

yet. Maybe you can come with me.

I love this steak.

Bloody.

Aren't you going to have something on the side there, Jimmy?

No.

Oh, no, thanks.

This is water.

My father was an alcoholic.

really great facilitator. You're doing a great job.

Pills, booze, coke, more pills.

It's the face of your company, Lionel.

You want his job. Is that what you're after?

Maybe you need a fresh new face.

Brighten things up.

What? What's wrong now?

Uh -huh. Okay.

Well, you tell her I bought the yappy mop for her, so she's keeping it.

Sorry about that.

Real bitch trying to wrap up personal business when you're on the road.

You're breaking up with your wife.

Kicked out is more accurate.

Why'd you kick me out, Lionel?

Because I'm an asshole.

Is that why you're trying to lure our counselor away?

Hoping to get a little...

Two for one deal? Oh, that's so flattering.

Do I need a lure, Mr. Burns?

What do you think would keep our Miss Scott here in the Hammer?

The beautiful vista or something more personal?

What do you think, Lionel?

You have got to smoke this. It's going to bake you out of your skull.

Protected. Keeping me high since the new millennium.

Good night.

There's a bit of a wild party going on in one of the adjuster's rooms.

It's a retreat.

Lighten up.

Oh, come on. Not this again.

Why is anybody helping him?

Help!

Help!

Help! Help!

Help! Help! Help! Help! Help!

Help! Help!

Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help!

Help! Help! Help! Help! Help!

Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help!

Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help!

Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help!

Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help!

Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help!

Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help!

Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help!

Help! Help!

Help!

There was no party. There were no drugs. And if there were, none of my people

were involved.

You disagree?

You bring it up with our counsel.

Miss Scott here, sir.

How's the man from Tech, the dick?

Oh, uh, he's going back to radio.

I'll meet you at home, okay?

Think it'll be all right? I don't know.

We might be honeymooning at the unemployment office.

Why? It's not your fault?

Yeah, but it was my room and Lionel... Lionel's a wild card.

It'll be a while.

I

want a

total media blackout here.

Get me contracts, non -disclosure signatures, everything.

I don't want to see one word about our media spokesman burning off his goddamn

face at a drug -fueled insurance retreat. You understand me? I do. It's

Get everyone back to the office.

Total lockdown until I get in there.

Okay, everyone, let's go. Let's go, everyone.

Load up, move out.

Drive straight to protection.

Let's go.

Come on, go, go, go.

Footage of his fire is already online.

You shithead.

The face that protected the face that said, trust me, has just been burnt off

an insurance orgy. This is red on a PR terror scale. Do you hear me, Lionel?

Asshole. I do.

But they really can us all.

I don't know.

It's the whole corporate image we're talking about here.

Which employees were doing drugs with him at the party? We haven't nailed that

down yet.

Were you one of them, Mr. Kaufman? No, I wasn't, Miss Asher.

Too bad. I would have enjoyed kicking you to the curb along with the rest of

your shit.

We need a scapegoat for this.

Today. I don't care who. I don't care how many.

You just fix it.

Understood. Is my boy Wealthy there?

Oh, yes. I'm, uh, I'm right here.

I want Pith out of every single one of them. I want it fresh and hot and

That includes management.

And then I want a full report midday. Okay?

I'll get my testing kit.

I'll shut down the whole goddamn branch if I have to. You contain it. Control

it. Crush it, Lionel.

Understood. Jesus!

This kid is kicking again. I spent half my day on the shitter.

Lionel, you're taking the goddamn dog.

I think you neglected to tell me that your soon -to -be ex -wife was also your

boss.

Nicole Asher.

Chairman's daughter.

We had some good times.

Looks like it. Boy or girl?

She says a boy, but she says a lot of things.

You know what? I think you should ask Wes.

He seems to have her ear in spite of being handpicked by you for that SI job.

Valid point.

There's no fire.

I can't be late for Mass.

This is not how it looks.

So you didn't gesture the priest in my bed?

I, uh... I gotta go.

You said you wouldn't be home until tonight.

Someone at the end leaked a story that our corporate spokesman was partying

with our employees when he caught himself on fire.

Anyone care to corroborate that fact?

I don't have a lot of time to put this bitch down, people, and I'm a shotgun

kind of guy. I spray wide. If even one of you tests positive for contraband, I

will clean the whole house.

Last chance.

Anyone?

They're all yours.

Okay, everybody.

Line up.

Maybe we'll all test negative.

Maybe.

What do you think, Papa? You think we'll all test negative?

Papa. Papa.

It's okay, I got it.

Papa.

Where are you going there, Papa?

It's all coming apart, Jimmy.

I need protection, man. This is the Red Mafia, for Christ's sake.

This is real scary stuff for you.

And I know it's been awful.

No, I can't.

I don't want to talk to him.

Now listen.

I'm here for you.

It's just you and me.

All alone.

But are you here for me, Papo?

Come on, don't leave me hanging, pal. You got enough blood on your face

What can you do for me?

I can save you.

Honestly, I can.

I've been trained to solve just this sort of problem.

Wesley, will you join Miss Scott and myself in conference room?

Miss Brown would like a word.

How long has it been going on for?

Do you think we're so screwed up because Mom died when we were kids?

Who says I'm screwed up?

You're marrying a man you don't even trust, who you hardly even know.

Sorry.

I need a drink.

Half the samples that West here gathers are going to come back positive.

If you fire them all, how are you going to contain it?

Protected. Come buy insurance and pick up a kilo of hash.

Your point. One guy.

One bad apple takes the fall for everyone.

You volunteering?

Mr. Poppo looks pretty good to me.

Well, Poppo was a part of our ongoing fraud investigation, Lionel. You fire

you're screwing with the whole police thing.

Why wasn't I informed of this?

Need to know basis.

So who?

Well, the ideal candidate is... Someone with no bond here.

Someone who the staff would gladly blame and turn a blind eye to. Heath, I can't

listen to this. Sit down, Beth Scott.

Do you have this ideal candidate, Mr. Byrne? No.

Not near ideal.

I was hoping you would know the man who could save us.

I'm afraid not.

Well, then the next best to ideal is Diana.

She's not management.

She's not even an adjuster.

Yes, she's been here forever, but I'm sure Wes could either find or fabricate

something in her piss. Jesus Christ.

Lady Di, it is.

Wesley, do your tests.

Like I said, she's not the ideal candidate.

Far from it.

I'll be the judge of it.

Then we're in good hands.

Listen, I didn't mean what I said earlier.

Stuff about you and Jimmy. You guys are great.

I'm just jealous.

And I promise that I will totally stop sleeping with Father Benedito.

I mean, you know, until after the wedding.

A couple of days ago, Jimmy came home with a whole lot of money.

Are you serious?

What's a lot?

A lot in cash.

I have to finish our house.

Shut up!

Jesus!

What's he into?

He's cheating on me.

What?

With who?

How do you know?

The way he looks at her.

The way he doesn't.

Oh.

Ah, meu querido.

Five minutes ago, a press release went out detailing the tragic accident that

left our spokesperson disabled.

We now know that this unfortunate event was aided and abetted by an intoxicated

employee.

And I'd like to thank those who came forward to provide testimony to that

Let's go. I wasn't even there!

Every one of you, please, do not touch me. Don't touch me!

Protect his thoughts and prayers with the victim, and we will spare no expense

in his recovery.

Thank you all.

Mr. Papo, a word.

I've been under a lot of stress lately.

Substance abuse isn't a coping mechanism.

What would you say to some time off?

You mean rehab?

It works.

Notwithstanding the odd relapse here and there. Right, Dick?

Uh, yeah. I know a place. It's faith -based.

Uh, isolated, no phones, no nothing.

Sounds perfect.

You'd be covered by protected.

You value our people.

Take it, Mr. Papo.

Or we fire your ass.

Listen, I'm sorry about how I reacted with the whole Denver thing, okay?

I know it's a great opportunity for you. Please get the shit out of me.

Another very fine performance this weekend, Mr. Byrne.

You know, I watch you like some high -wire act without a net.

And you love it.

You love almost bringing down everyone around you, everyone who loves you.

And I think you want to fall.

I really do. What are you talking about? You.

You said I see you. I do.

And I see you're reckless, self -destructive. And you're not.

I don't want to be.

I think you should just leave me alone.

Fine. You know what? You go and you climb Lionel's ladder. You climb it high

you can wave to your little bad boy, Rob, as you fly away.

That's it.

You see?

Little boy.

That's exactly it.

No, you don't get it there is no net

None

Hey, Sheriff.

Sorry to bug you. I know you got a lot on your plate.

The clock's just kind of ticking here.

You want to be my best man.

Call me back.

Oh, Jimmy.

Jimmy.

Oh, he's working so late, huh? He's got a new house to pay for. He's going to be

working hard for a long time.

I forgot.

It's okay.

It's working, right? Yeah.

Promise you won't make a scene, okay?

Not in front of my family.

I can't marry you.

I won't. And I know you know why.

No.

Not right now, okay?

Jimmy, come on, have a seat.

Jimmy, you there? Jimmy!

Yeah, just a sec, Jimmy.