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1
00:00:00,360 --> 00:00:05,860
Hi, I'm Blair Williams from Missax .com,
and I'm going to give you all of my
2
00:00:05,860 --> 00:00:06,860
love.
3
00:00:56,300 --> 00:01:02,660
You know, I can tell the level of crazy
a person is by how many inspirational
4
00:01:02,660 --> 00:01:03,740
quotes they tweet.
5
00:01:04,580 --> 00:01:06,640
And this bitch took it a step further.
6
00:01:07,240 --> 00:01:11,700
She made her own inspirational blog when
we all know she's cray -cray.
7
00:01:12,180 --> 00:01:15,620
Why don't you try talking to people in
real life instead of social media?
8
00:01:16,380 --> 00:01:17,860
Oh, you mean texting them?
9
00:01:18,560 --> 00:01:22,940
No, I'm talking about picking up the
phone and talking. Maybe setting a date
10
00:01:22,940 --> 00:01:23,719
some coffee.
11
00:01:23,720 --> 00:01:25,140
But I like to look through and...
12
00:01:25,580 --> 00:01:26,580
Do what people are thinking.
13
00:01:26,960 --> 00:01:29,940
It's like eavesdropping, but you never
get caught.
14
00:01:30,740 --> 00:01:33,660
Yeah, but you don't really live when you
live inside your phone.
15
00:01:34,040 --> 00:01:35,980
Just like when we went hiking last
weekend.
16
00:01:36,240 --> 00:01:36,939
Shut up.
17
00:01:36,940 --> 00:01:39,380
I totally enjoyed the nature and weather
and stuff.
18
00:01:39,780 --> 00:01:43,180
You didn't enjoy it. You griped half the
time because your phone didn't have
19
00:01:43,180 --> 00:01:49,000
service. I was just worried that we'd
get lost and fall in a hole and have to
20
00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:50,820
cut our arm off like that James Franco
movie.
21
00:01:52,140 --> 00:01:55,280
I really doubt we would get lost hiking
the trails at State Park.
22
00:01:55,480 --> 00:01:59,560
It just shows how addicted you are to
your phone, social media, and how it's
23
00:01:59,560 --> 00:02:03,100
taking your life away. Oh, I totally
have a life. And it's pretty obvious
24
00:02:03,100 --> 00:02:05,860
because I have 73 ,046 friends.
25
00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:11,180
And on average, 200 of those friends
like every one of my thoughts.
26
00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:16,140
Remember that girl you were hanging out
with last year?
27
00:02:16,460 --> 00:02:17,418
The blonde?
28
00:02:17,420 --> 00:02:18,420
Yeah, Kristen.
29
00:02:18,520 --> 00:02:19,700
I'm glad you brought her up.
30
00:02:20,080 --> 00:02:22,080
I hung out with her in real life last
Friday.
31
00:02:22,440 --> 00:02:26,540
I saw you two walking on State Street
whenever I was driving by. I almost
32
00:02:26,540 --> 00:02:29,180
even recognize you because you were both
staring down at your phone.
33
00:02:30,060 --> 00:02:34,240
Maybe you're just jealous because you
hang out with the same four lame
34
00:02:34,240 --> 00:02:37,760
geeks and you don't have a girlfriend
and no one cares what your dinner looks
35
00:02:37,760 --> 00:02:39,220
like. You've got me there.
36
00:02:39,440 --> 00:02:42,640
I'm just a lame -brained geek and you're
Miss Popular Princess.
37
00:02:43,280 --> 00:02:44,660
And that's why I'm jealous.
38
00:02:44,980 --> 00:02:45,980
You're such a hater.
39
00:02:46,220 --> 00:02:48,580
Fact. Haters don't really hate me.
40
00:02:49,040 --> 00:02:52,660
They just hate the fact that I'm a
reflection of what they want to be.
41
00:02:53,040 --> 00:02:54,360
You should post that.
42
00:02:54,740 --> 00:02:55,860
I'm all over it.
43
00:03:01,760 --> 00:03:02,760
What?
44
00:03:08,240 --> 00:03:10,380
OMG. They love it.
45
00:03:12,680 --> 00:03:13,680
What's that?
46
00:03:14,120 --> 00:03:16,480
Kristen posted a picture of her in her
new BF.
47
00:03:18,280 --> 00:03:19,340
And people are liking it.
48
00:03:20,180 --> 00:03:21,180
And commenting.
49
00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:23,160
Is this your boyfriend?
50
00:03:24,780 --> 00:03:27,080
Whifting you all the happiness in the
world, Kristen?
51
00:03:28,100 --> 00:03:29,340
They're the hottest couple?
52
00:03:29,720 --> 00:03:31,060
Watch out, Kim and Kanye?
53
00:03:31,820 --> 00:03:34,320
Is he a supermodel? Does he have a
brother?
54
00:03:37,700 --> 00:03:38,940
Look, stupid.
55
00:03:39,900 --> 00:03:40,960
He's not even hot.
56
00:03:41,520 --> 00:03:45,780
I mean, I could find a guy way hotter
than that. I can go outside and throw a
57
00:03:45,780 --> 00:03:47,200
rock and hit a guy hotter than that.
58
00:03:47,980 --> 00:03:51,500
Do it. Put your phone down and go live
your life.
59
00:03:53,460 --> 00:03:55,720
And what am I supposed to do to find a
boyfriend, Dean?
60
00:03:56,360 --> 00:03:59,400
Like, go out in real life and meet
someone?
61
00:04:00,260 --> 00:04:03,420
Absolutely. Maybe take a class.
Something that interests you.
62
00:04:03,660 --> 00:04:04,780
Take a painting class.
63
00:04:05,220 --> 00:04:06,220
You used to like painting.
64
00:04:07,360 --> 00:04:11,540
Maybe you can find a guy there. Just let
it happen organically.
65
00:04:12,820 --> 00:04:16,680
Organically? The only organic thing I
like is my food.
66
00:04:23,470 --> 00:04:25,930
Oh my god, I could use Tinder to find a
guy.
67
00:04:26,450 --> 00:04:28,290
Those guys are just looking for a
hookup.
68
00:04:28,550 --> 00:04:30,310
And I'm just looking for a hookup.
69
00:04:30,650 --> 00:04:34,730
A hookup with some really hot pictures
so I can get some social media action.
70
00:04:39,390 --> 00:04:41,390
No, no, no, no.
71
00:04:41,810 --> 00:04:46,710
She's got 24 new friends and her stupid
picture's been shared over 40 times and
72
00:04:46,710 --> 00:04:48,330
43.
73
00:04:49,570 --> 00:04:50,710
Fuck, it's going up.
74
00:04:51,440 --> 00:04:53,740
Your social media numbers don't measure
your worth.
75
00:04:54,100 --> 00:04:57,980
You're a charming, beautiful,
intelligent young woman.
76
00:04:58,280 --> 00:04:59,280
Wait.
77
00:04:59,480 --> 00:05:00,560
Take your shirt off.
78
00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:02,080
I want to see if you're ripped.
79
00:05:02,440 --> 00:05:03,440
What?
80
00:05:03,860 --> 00:05:04,860
Oh, Jesus.
81
00:05:05,520 --> 00:05:08,840
What if you don't have a good body and
this body will never work?
82
00:05:09,300 --> 00:05:10,300
A hot bod?
83
00:05:10,620 --> 00:05:11,860
What are you talking about?
84
00:05:12,240 --> 00:05:13,920
Just do it. We don't have time.
85
00:05:14,200 --> 00:05:15,200
I need a diversion.
86
00:05:15,820 --> 00:05:17,420
I need you to pretend to be my
boyfriend.
87
00:05:18,460 --> 00:05:19,940
That's never going to happen.
88
00:05:21,200 --> 00:05:26,800
Please. If you ask me that question
again, I'm going to tell your mom or my
89
00:05:26,980 --> 00:05:28,660
and they're going to take your phone
away again.
90
00:05:33,740 --> 00:05:40,520
But I love you. I don't ask for
91
00:05:40,520 --> 00:05:42,920
much. I can't believe you won't help me.
92
00:05:43,700 --> 00:05:45,740
I can't believe you won't help me.
93
00:07:12,010 --> 00:07:13,010
It's not real life.
94
00:07:19,030 --> 00:07:20,950
But it is real.
95
00:07:21,810 --> 00:07:22,910
It's real to me.
96
00:07:24,190 --> 00:07:25,350
No, baby girl.
97
00:07:25,790 --> 00:07:26,930
It's just a facade.
98
00:07:27,530 --> 00:07:31,450
People post messages on social media.
It's just an illusion.
99
00:07:31,730 --> 00:07:32,730
No one's genuine.
100
00:07:33,070 --> 00:07:38,270
All I wanted was a picture on your chest
so people wouldn't think I was a loser
101
00:07:38,270 --> 00:07:39,270
with no boyfriend.
102
00:07:40,130 --> 00:07:41,130
You're not a loser.
103
00:07:42,060 --> 00:07:43,100
You're my favorite person.
104
00:07:45,780 --> 00:07:46,780
I'm not.
105
00:07:46,960 --> 00:07:49,860
Or you would help me. I never asked you
for anything.
106
00:07:50,900 --> 00:07:52,420
I love you.
107
00:07:53,260 --> 00:07:55,360
I love you so much.
108
00:08:14,570 --> 00:08:15,750
But I'm keeping my shirt on.
109
00:08:17,290 --> 00:08:19,370
Well... Okay.
110
00:08:54,350 --> 00:08:56,390
Don't be silly. It's just a picture.
111
00:08:56,850 --> 00:08:58,010
I won't show your face.
112
00:08:58,210 --> 00:08:59,210
No, come on. No.
113
00:08:59,470 --> 00:09:00,470
No.
114
00:09:00,870 --> 00:09:01,890
No. Stop.
115
00:09:56,829 --> 00:09:57,990
So? It's good.
116
00:09:58,890 --> 00:09:59,930
Getting a few hearts.
117
00:10:00,870 --> 00:10:02,530
People are wondering who the guy is.
118
00:10:03,310 --> 00:10:06,070
Maybe I should play coy and be vague.
119
00:10:06,610 --> 00:10:10,150
Keep the audience guessing. That's how
you really keep someone interested.
120
00:10:17,430 --> 00:10:18,430
Oh my god.
121
00:10:18,990 --> 00:10:19,990
It's Kristen.
122
00:10:26,260 --> 00:10:28,240
Yeah, I'm sitting right next to him.
123
00:10:29,340 --> 00:10:35,400
Uh, well, we met at the gym. He's a
personal trainer.
124
00:10:36,860 --> 00:10:40,160
Uh, yeah, he's really hot.
125
00:10:40,580 --> 00:10:41,580
Mm -hmm.
126
00:10:42,460 --> 00:10:47,120
Oh, well, he's just, you know, really
shy.
127
00:10:47,500 --> 00:10:50,140
He doesn't really like showing his face,
you know.
128
00:10:50,540 --> 00:10:52,000
He's not into social media.
129
00:10:54,080 --> 00:10:55,180
Sure, sure thing.
130
00:10:55,870 --> 00:10:58,590
Say hello, D -E, er, Johnny.
131
00:11:01,670 --> 00:11:03,230
Steve, come on.
132
00:11:03,530 --> 00:11:04,770
Say hello to my girl.
133
00:11:05,090 --> 00:11:06,170
Say hello.
134
00:11:12,830 --> 00:11:14,570
Yeah, huh? He's still here.
135
00:11:15,550 --> 00:11:17,830
And yet he totally is my boyfriend.
136
00:11:18,170 --> 00:11:20,910
I swear to God, why would I be lying
about that?
137
00:11:22,490 --> 00:11:25,030
I'm not trying to overshadow you,
Kristen.
138
00:11:25,630 --> 00:11:26,890
How could you be so shallow?
139
00:11:28,190 --> 00:11:29,190
Oh, Christ.
140
00:11:30,090 --> 00:11:32,550
See? He's right here right now.
141
00:11:34,450 --> 00:11:35,530
Oh, babe, are you okay?
142
00:11:36,130 --> 00:11:38,310
He just stubbed his toe on the coffee
table.
143
00:11:38,610 --> 00:11:41,150
His legs get all wobbly after we fuck.
Blair.
144
00:11:41,430 --> 00:11:42,670
I just blow his mind that way.
145
00:11:44,610 --> 00:11:48,370
Oh, are you trying to compare sex skills
with me?
146
00:11:48,690 --> 00:11:51,430
Because I'm not going to compete with
you because I already am the winner.
147
00:11:52,830 --> 00:11:57,450
His cock is huge, and he's wicked smart.
He's already figured out all of my
148
00:11:57,450 --> 00:11:58,450
zones.
149
00:12:02,570 --> 00:12:03,970
You're just jealous, Kristen.
150
00:12:04,370 --> 00:12:06,070
I don't even know why I'm friends with
you.
151
00:12:07,930 --> 00:12:10,630
She hung up on me.
152
00:12:13,270 --> 00:12:15,430
Sometimes, I don't even know who you
are.
153
00:12:15,690 --> 00:12:17,450
How could you lie to your best friend
like that?
154
00:12:18,430 --> 00:12:20,430
Because someone needs to take her off
her high horse.
155
00:12:21,050 --> 00:12:23,570
She thinks she's better than me. She
thinks she's better than everyone.
156
00:12:28,150 --> 00:12:30,610
She just sub -posted about me.
157
00:12:31,130 --> 00:12:32,390
What's a sub -post?
158
00:12:33,770 --> 00:12:37,650
It's where someone posts something
negative or prolific about a certain
159
00:12:37,770 --> 00:12:39,650
but never names the certain person.
160
00:12:40,030 --> 00:12:45,410
It's basically a way to call someone out
publicly without seeming catty. Well,
161
00:12:45,430 --> 00:12:46,430
what's it say?
162
00:12:48,250 --> 00:12:50,750
Only a few can look at your success
without envy.
163
00:12:53,530 --> 00:12:57,110
It's as if he sees this relationship
with that doofus as some sort of
164
00:12:59,650 --> 00:13:02,910
Okay, girl. You need a break from social
media. Look how it's making you
165
00:13:02,910 --> 00:13:03,910
paranoid and grumpy.
166
00:13:04,090 --> 00:13:05,090
You need to help me.
167
00:13:05,210 --> 00:13:09,510
We need to take some sexy pictures and I
can send it to her and... It'll make
168
00:13:09,510 --> 00:13:10,510
her so jealous.
169
00:13:11,150 --> 00:13:12,490
No. Do it.
170
00:13:12,870 --> 00:13:16,530
Or else I'll tell your dad how his car
really got wrecked.
171
00:13:17,040 --> 00:13:18,360
I even took pictures.
172
00:13:19,420 --> 00:13:20,700
You're evil.
173
00:13:21,080 --> 00:13:22,080
No, I'm not.
174
00:13:22,420 --> 00:13:25,040
I'm resourceful and opportunistic.
175
00:13:25,940 --> 00:13:27,960
And do you really want to offend me
right now?
176
00:13:35,040 --> 00:13:36,100
The pants, too.
177
00:13:36,820 --> 00:13:38,380
No way. Don't push it.
178
00:13:39,240 --> 00:13:40,240
Come on.
179
00:13:40,940 --> 00:13:42,500
You can keep your panties on.
180
00:13:45,520 --> 00:13:46,520
Okay, good.
181
00:13:46,840 --> 00:13:49,740
We just need to take a few pictures that
make it look like we're in a sexy,
182
00:13:49,820 --> 00:13:50,980
romantic relationship.
183
00:13:54,100 --> 00:13:56,680
Come on, put your arm around me. Don't
get my face.
184
00:14:03,940 --> 00:14:04,940
Flex.
185
00:14:05,140 --> 00:14:06,140
Flex.
186
00:14:10,620 --> 00:14:11,660
That's going to be a good one.
187
00:14:14,220 --> 00:14:15,620
Let me see, maybe...
188
00:14:16,420 --> 00:14:17,420
Grab my butt?
189
00:14:19,240 --> 00:14:21,420
Let me pull up my skirt as fast as I
can.
190
00:14:22,640 --> 00:14:23,800
Oh, that's a great shot.
191
00:14:32,780 --> 00:14:37,640
Oh, come on.
192
00:14:38,380 --> 00:14:39,380
What?
193
00:14:40,820 --> 00:14:41,900
I'm gonna send him now.
194
00:14:51,720 --> 00:14:52,720
She's not saying anything.
195
00:14:55,200 --> 00:14:56,260
She's not responding.
196
00:14:58,680 --> 00:14:59,900
She should be furious.
197
00:15:02,680 --> 00:15:05,600
What if she takes those photos and uses
them against you?
198
00:15:06,900 --> 00:15:07,940
She wouldn't dare.
199
00:15:08,480 --> 00:15:13,220
I have plenty of compromising photos of
her, if you know what I mean.
200
00:15:13,740 --> 00:15:16,580
Yeah, well, I guess I know exactly what
you mean.
201
00:15:16,820 --> 00:15:19,980
Besides, if she does try to release the
photos...
202
00:15:20,270 --> 00:15:22,630
It can make me super -duper famous, like
a Kardashian.
203
00:15:23,870 --> 00:15:27,950
Listen, I'm... I'm not trying to have
this kind of attention, so... We need to
204
00:15:27,950 --> 00:15:30,850
make these pictures look a little more
explicit.
205
00:15:32,150 --> 00:15:39,010
I think... you need to take your
206
00:15:39,010 --> 00:15:40,010
underwear off.
207
00:15:41,930 --> 00:15:47,110
I could take some photos of your cock
near my mouth.
208
00:15:48,510 --> 00:15:50,720
Just... Just so they look a little bit
more aggressive.
209
00:15:51,300 --> 00:15:52,380
Just near. Nope.
210
00:15:52,580 --> 00:15:54,540
This is not going to be a Tommy Lee
moment.
211
00:15:55,360 --> 00:15:56,360
Who's that?
212
00:15:58,820 --> 00:16:00,140
Come on!
213
00:16:01,660 --> 00:16:02,760
Look at my eyes.
214
00:16:03,540 --> 00:16:04,920
Take these off!
215
00:16:05,980 --> 00:16:07,000
It's not even hard.
216
00:16:07,320 --> 00:16:08,320
I'm terrified.
217
00:16:10,060 --> 00:16:13,800
I'll look away and you can just stroke
it a little until it gets hard.
218
00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:15,440
It's easy.
219
00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:18,000
You will not touch it.
220
00:16:19,340 --> 00:16:20,340
In your dreams.
221
00:16:34,760 --> 00:16:37,100
You said you wouldn't touch it. Be cool.
222
00:16:43,120 --> 00:16:44,840
It's not like I'm sucking your cock.
223
00:16:45,260 --> 00:16:48,060
It's a little lollipop.
224
00:17:07,109 --> 00:17:08,109
Take some hot pictures.
225
00:19:08,360 --> 00:19:09,360
No, no.
226
00:19:10,280 --> 00:19:11,500
I'm just gonna send these.
227
00:19:13,680 --> 00:19:15,340
Wait, get off my dick.
228
00:19:19,920 --> 00:19:21,020
She's not responding.
229
00:19:22,260 --> 00:19:22,780
Can
230
00:19:22,780 --> 00:19:31,000
you
231
00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:34,420
just take a picture with it on my pussy?
232
00:19:36,340 --> 00:19:37,340
Just...
233
00:19:37,710 --> 00:19:40,110
Paint it up and down like a paintbrush.
234
00:19:41,150 --> 00:19:42,350
You don't have to put it in.
235
00:19:43,770 --> 00:19:45,690
I am not putting it in.
236
00:22:32,940 --> 00:22:33,940
God bless you.
237
00:29:32,680 --> 00:29:33,680
I want to show you.
238
00:33:05,450 --> 00:33:06,610
Can we do it in my butt next time?
239
00:33:07,430 --> 00:33:08,850
Chris would never do that.
240
00:33:09,370 --> 00:33:12,510
Alright. As long as you promise to make
it a secret.
241
00:33:17,370 --> 00:33:18,410
To my grave.
242
00:33:27,150 --> 00:33:29,890
Or until you step out of line again.
243
00:33:31,530 --> 00:33:32,530
Kidding.
244
00:33:47,649 --> 00:33:50,670
Thank you for playing with us here at
MissX .com.
245
00:33:51,210 --> 00:33:52,370
See you again soon.
17051
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