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"Lights will guide you home." Beyza Alkoç

Wake up already.

I am awake.

-Good morning. -Good morning, love.

Did you get a good sleep?

I would have slept better if you were next to me.

I’ll be there tonight.

It was a trap. And you fell for it right away.

How could you!? Who does that to someone they love?

Very mean.

Shall we watch a movie tonight?

Deal.

Eggs again?

Honey, what do you mean “eggs again”?

You don’t eat eggs; you’re as light as a feather.

That’s what dad would say.

Come here.

So, tell me. Tea or coffee?

-Coffee? -Coffee, of course. You are Izmir.

I am Izmir.

The customers are waiting for you. Go on!

Go on, hurry up!

We've got to hurry.

Alright.

The steak, is it ready?

2 minutes left, Chef.

1 minute!

After that, it must not be juicy.

-OK, Chef. -5 minutes to sauté.

No problem.

Come on, come on.

-Damn! -Oh, my God!

-It's OK, it's OK. -Ohh The Turk!

I'll fix it.

Just leave it!

-No, it's OK. -I said leave it!

You're done for the day.

Go home!

We'll deduct it from your pay.

Come on, guys! Hurry up!

We have to hurry. Here we have customers waiting for us. Go, go!

Honey, you’re home early.

Baby, I’m so sweaty, don’t touch.

Or you’ll get sweat on you too, love.

There’s a towel on your neck, I was going to take it.

Oh, sorry.

Ege,

we can get by with my scholarship if you like.

I know, love.

But I like working there.

The chef’s a tough guy but he teaches well.

Anyway, forget about that. I have good news.

What is it?

The date has been set for my permanent residency process.

And it’s next week.

That means I can get a better job if it works out.

But

I still need to take care of a couple of

formalities from when I first arrived.

Ege, this is amazing news. Let’s celebrate right away.

-Alright, I’ll take a shower and be right back. -Okay.

What formalities?

Unimportant stuff. I’ll explain.

Okay.

Shall we go to the movie theatre?

8:00 pm at Allecine?

Deal. You can pick me up around 7:50?

Isn’t that too early?

I don’t like rushing in last minute.

You’re the boss, Mrs İzmir.

Thank you, Mr Ege. See you soon.

Can you wear that dress I love?

We’ll see, I’m the boss here.

This way, madam, your seat.

My favourite row.

-The movie is ready. -I’ll hit play, then.

Sweetheart?

You’re crying again?

What can I do?

I can’t help it.

-Ege? -Yeah?

Won’t you call your family at all?

You are my family.

They are Ali’s family now.

Ege, listen

when that day comes you won’t have the chance to tell them

how much you love them.

You know that, right?

They left me first.

No one left anyone.

They didn’t write their son off.

I don’t think anyone could.

So, you’re siding with them, eh?

Ege, I’m not looking for who’s right or wrong here.

I just understand it.

Amazing really, you understand everyone but me.

Oh, my stubborn love.

If I weren’t this stubborn, could we be together?

No.

Come here.

Let me take you home. Otherwise, people will say

her boyfriend made her cry and then left her.

-Would you like to come? -No.

We’ve made a decision, let’s stick to it.

-Okay. -Still

I won’t say no to one last kiss.

-Good night. -Good night.

Text me when you get home.

I will.

We are side by side now.

No more kilometres between us, no more distances to bridge

No more tickets to buy,

No more roads to travel.

This is our 0-kilometre mark.

Because we started everything over here.

This is where we overcame all the obstacles.

But as the kilometres decreased, so did the number of people we love.

We no longer have a mother, a father, a family.

Yet, despite all that, we’ve always remained…us

Izmir and Ege are side by side now.

But are we the same? That, I don’t know.

What I know is that

Ege’s been putting in a lot of effort for things to stay the same.

He even agreed to stay in separate rooms in the same house.

So, we wouldn’t burn out, so, we wouldn’t use it all up,

So, we wouldn’t exhaust it all in one go and cease to exist.

The amount sent via money transfer

by FUSUN ZORLU has been credited to your account.

Which is why, If I were to go through it again, I’d choose him all over again.

I would be Ege’s Izmir again.

When everything gets too hard, This is what I tell myself.

Look up at the sky, Izmir, Ege is so in love with you.

A private number’s calling

Alright, coffee’s coming up.

You’ve really missed them a lot, right?

Come here.

Tell you what, why don’t we go out?

We can get some fresh air, do some shopping

-It’ll make you feel better. -Okay.

-Come on. -Ege, now?

-Yes. -What about the coffee?

Forget it now, come on.

-Come on, come on. -Okay.

Yes, smile a little.

Ege, check this out.

Let’s get it.

Nah, let’s not.

Come on, Izmir. We are buying it.

I’ve already set it aside.

A private number’s calling

Who?

Who do you think?

I don’t know.

I hope it’s Merve.

I can’t believe you, still on it?

Aren’t you going to tell me who it is?

I won’t give you your gift.

Look at this.

It’s beautiful.

It is.

Private number

Is it Merve?

No, it’s a private number, calling me on my Turkish line.

Hello?

Hello, yes.

Izmir, my girl.

Mum?

Mum?

İzmir, my girl?

Izmir?

Mum?

İzmir?

-İzmir, my girl? -Mum?

Hello, Izmir?

Izmir? Love?

Mum?

Mum?

It’s my mum, Ege, my mum’s calling me right now.

-Sweetheart. -Mum?

-Sweetheart, are you okay? -Mummy.

-Ege, it’s my mum. -Alright, calm down.

-I’m telling you it was my mum. -Izmir, calm down!

Alright.

Alright, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I yelled.

You can’t call back a private number. Ok?

Calm down, let’s get out of here.

Let’s talk about it calmly, okay?

Calm down, honey.

You don’t believe me, do you?

I am the person who believes in you the most in the world.

Alright? But we need to get out of here now.

People are staring. Come.

Sorry.

Here’s the money.

Hello, Birkan.

Izmir, how are you? Is everything alright?

I’m fine. Actually, I’m not.

Someone just called my Turkish line.

It was my mum.

Your mum?

Maybe your friends were pulling a prank?

Birkan, I am sure. No one would joke about this.

I know it was my mum.

Izmir, can you please calm down? Ok?

I’ll look into all this and let you know, okay?

Just stay calm.

Is there anyone there with you that I can talk to?

No one’s with me.

And if you are concerned about my mental health

I am perfectly sane, Birkan.

I am sane enough to remember my mum’s voice.

Please call me as soon as you find anything.

Or I’ll call you anyway.

What’s the plan? Are we leaving?

You really do believe me.

Please don’t every say there’s no one with you again, okay?

What if we have gone crazy, Izmir?

What if all of this is for nothing?

What if you are dragging Ege along with you for nothing?

My little, pretty child who never grows up.

Have a very romantic evening, now go.

What’s going on?

You sound as if you’re never coming back.

-We love you so much. -We love you so very much.

Honey,

No one’s called, don’t worry.

Ege, I can’t take this anymore. I’m calling Birkan.

Dear, maybe you should wait till morning?

I don’t care. It’s been hours, see?

It’s off.

His phone’s off.

Well, that’s normal at this hour.

Maybe he has no signal or something happened.

Where are you going?

To the bathroom?

With your phone?

In case someone calls.

Come.

-Ege? -Yeah?

Can you kiss me?

Thank you for today,

for everything.

Where’s this coming from now?

I just felt like it.

Don’t.

Couples don’t thank each other for things like this.

Deal?

Now, come on.

Let me take you to bed.

You’ve got so tired today.

One, two, three… here we go.

Come here.

I’m here with you.

No matter what, I’m here.

Your gate 27A has been changed to 12B

Come on, we’re going to be late?

-Ege, you… -What is it?

Nex time you do something behind my back,

at least don’t leave your phone with me.

Or better yet, don’t do anything behind my back.

But you have your residency appointment.

And things are already bad with you and your chef.

It’s not that things are bad with the chef, it’s that the chef himself is bad.

And next time you worry about me, ask me first, okay?

Or don’t. I’ll worry about both of us.

For all three of us.

Let’s go.

Thank you. Have a good day.

Are you sure you want to go in alone?

Birkan told me to come alone.

You know how it is, government stuff. Military seriousness.

Understood, Izmir Aksoy! I’ll be waiting for you here, ma’am!

Izmir.

Be strong as if I were right beside you, okay?

I’ll be here.

I’m here to see Commander Birkan.

Here, Mrs Izmir.

Izmir.

-Welcome. -Thank you.

-Are you okay? -I am.

Come, take a seat.

Now,

ever since you called, we’ve been evaluating all possibilities, Izmir.

As you know, when we found your parents, their remains… well, their bodies…

They were burned.

We couldn’t even conduct a DNA test.

We identified their remains through their belongings.

But now,

the question is if they really were your parents.

And?

So, we relayed this question to the intelligence services.

But we got an odd response.

We learned that this is discussed in Istanbul.

So, they asked that you stay in Izmir until this matter is resolved.

Hold on a minute,

so,

could they be alive? Do I understand it correctly?

Izmir, I can’t answer that. You know that, right?

Birkan…

I think they’re alive.

So where are they now?

If we call them right now… I want to talk to them.

I want to hear their voices, please.

Izmir,

this isn’t a request, this is an order.

You understand that, don’t you?

I am investigating this.

And you’re going to stay at home until we have an answer. Okay?

How long am I supposed to wait?

It should take about a week.

What can I do alone at home for a whole week?

I think this is the best option, given the circumstances.

Boy, come here!

I understand.

You want me to go crazy again.

Fine, so be it.

Thank you so much. You’ve been such a big help again!

Look here,

Take Emrah with you, and take Izmir home.

Yes, sir!

-We need to go out. -I texted Merve, she’s taking care of it.

As we discussed?

She was a little bit surprised, but I think she believed me.

She has a cousin, Kuzey. We’ll take his car.

That way, Birkan won’t be able to track us.

If we leave now, we’ll be in Istanbul by morning.

I guess they’re here.

Yes, let’s go.

Here we go.

Ege, what are you doing?

See anything?

Wait.

It’s okay.

Here we go.

-Hi. -Hi.

-I’m Ege. -Kuzey.

Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you too, welcome.

Kuzey.

-Nice to meet you, I’m Izmir. -Hi, welcome.

Are you ready? Seatbelt?

Yes.

This is where I leave you guys.

-Have a good trip. -Thanks a lot.

See you.

Ege, a dog!

-Did we hit it? -No, no.

Hi.

How cute…

Are you okay?

I’ll eat you up.

There’s no one around.

-What are we going to do? -Should we take it with us?

So cute.

Look how cute it is.

Who buys a dog as a toy for their kid and then leaves it on the street?

People do that a lot, you know?

They get them as puppies as they go to their summer houses,

and once they grow up a little, they just abandon them.

This is why I love you, you know that, right?

Because I have a soft heart?

Because you softened my heart.

See, even Train agrees.

Train?

Train.

-The Train heading to the Plane. -Why not Suburbs?

Train sounds good, right?

So, what should we get you? As in food. What would you like to eat?

Do you like sushi?

Would it?

Ege, slow down.

-What is it now? -Look at that girl.

What of her?

She doesn’t look well.

I want to go, and ask her if she is okay.

Please, just give me five minutes.

I’m coming with you too.

Ege, please. She might feel awkward if she sees you.

Izmir.

You said I softened your heart.

Maybe I can soften her heart too.

What if these are signs?

What if these good deeds I’m doing lead me to my parents?

Come here.

Come here.

Did I scare you?

No, I was just lost in thought.

Well, we saw you while driving by.

I just wanted to ask if you were okay.

I am.

I was overwhelmed, I just needed some air.

You look really exhausted.

If you need help,

or if you live nearby, we’d love to help you.

I don’t know where my home is.

But I am someone’s home.

I know that.

I should go now. Thank you for checking on me.

If you need help

I’d really love to help.

Actually

do you have a pen and paper?

A piece of paper will do too.

Here, on this paper, is the name of my soon-to-be baby.

And its parents’ names too.

There’s a phone number and an email address.

Can you keep this paper for me?

My dear baby

I don’t even know your gender yet but

I’ve known your name from the moment you first entered my heart.

One day your father said

“If I ever fall in love,

I’d want to split the night between the two of us.”

You are the result of us sharing the night together.

May the moon never leave your side.

We’ve always loved you.

And we always will.

With love, your mum.

Who?

It’s Birkan.

Hello?

Birkan, I was expecting you to call.

Izmir, where are you?

The guards couldn’t find you at home.

I’ve come to find my family. Are they okay?

Oh, Izmir.

You are definitely Mustafa’s daughter.

Birkan…

Tell me where they are. Are they okay?

You need to tell me so I don’t lose my mind.

The confidentiality of the case is partly lifted.

So, I’ve come to Istanbul, to the hospital where they are.

I’m sending you the address now.

-Hospital? -Don’t worry Izmir, they’re fine.

They are alive.

This time it’s for sure.

Train.

What are you doing?

Mr Ege,

when we couldn’t reach you, we called Mrs Izmir.

-Yes. -Your older brother

attempted suicide.

Your mother asked me to let you know. I can take you there if you like.

Ege, what did you do?

I’m sorry but it was all your brother’s doing.

We lost your parents in a car accident.

I can’t breathe!

Let us take you to the States.

I’m not leaving my parents!

-Where are they? -Come, they’re inside.

Mum?

Izmir.

I’m so sorry, my girl.

Mum, you’re here.

My dad?

Where’s my dad?

-Mum, my dad? -He’s here.

He’s here.

I’m here, baby.

My beautiful girl.

Where were you?

Where were you for all this time?

We’re here.

We are here, sweetheart. Izmir, we’re here.

Mum, don’t cry.

I’ve cried for all of us, for everyone in the world.

And now I just want to know. Why did you leave me?

We didn’t leave you, no my love, we never left you.

We were on an international mission.

For children, to save their lives.

Your mother risked her life,

just to reach you. Just to hear your voice.

What mission? What operation? What are you talking about?

You were the people I trusted the most!

How could you do this to me?

Even your profession was a lie, mum!

Who knew about this?

This is great.

You left me, alone, suffering…

Without even looking back to see what was left behind!

Even animals wait for days by the bodies of their dead young,

But you buried me alive, and you didn’t even care, did you?

-Listen. -Izmir.

Mum, don’t cry!

I said stop crying!

You didn’t experience death, I did!

You didn’t want to die to reunite, I did!

I even thought about killing myself.

How could you risk this?

How could you leave me so alone?

Why is everyone doing this to me?

Listen to me now, my girl.

We were on an operation abroad, I can’t tell you where.

We were placed in a neighbourhood

controlled by a terrorist group that exploited religion.

As if we had arrived from Turkey.

There were young girls like you there. Young women, children.

They were being used as suicide bombers.

They were being brainwashed.

They killed the ones who didn’t comply, or…

So, what I’m saying, my girl, we were on an international mission.

For the children, to save their lives.

Alright? We were given a duty.

You are my daughter. You know what duty means.

Izmir.

Mum.

The lullaby mum would sing to put us to sleep.

You haven’t forgotten.

I didn’t come here to talk about the past.

Today,

we close this chapter here.

And you’ll leave my life for good.

No.

I am a man whose last chance lies in your hands, brother.

So, no.

And I’m not demanding anything from you, I’m begging.

So, you’re threatening me with suicide now?

I’m not threatening you with anything.

Don’t you get it, boy? This hatred is toxic.

I’d know because I made the same mistake.

-I was blinded by rage. -Go away!

Even though the woman I once loved had no connection to you,

I found myself jealous of her too.

I went mad.

I used to complain about lack of love, and,

I ended up taking the life of a person who was someone else’s beloved.

I became a murderer, man.

Don’t you see the state I’m in?

That hatred consumed me.

I’m begging you. Leave that ridiculous pride aside,

that devil inside you screaming “me” aside.

Don’t carry my hatred as your own.

Forgive me.

Why did you do this to me?

Why did you do it? You were my older brother?

I’ve realized that,

throughout my life, I’ve always seen myself through the eyes of the others.

Not just you but

I compared myself to everyone.

In trying to do the best, I ended up doing nothing.

While I wanted to be loved the most,

I couldn’t even figure out how to love, boy.

After realizing all this, I can’t go back.

Give me a chance.

I want to start over.

I’m begging you to forgive me.

Give me another chance.

I want to be someone else, Ege.

We were just normal brothers!

-Calm down. -Okay, he won’t do it again.

Are you okay?

I am, don’t worry.

Don’t do stupid things like that again.

Alright, I won’t.

You got lucky.

They chose you this time.

You’re the golden boy of the family now.

Stop talking nonsense.

No one’s choosing anyone here.

Didn’t she buy you a gift just the other day?

What gift?

Didn’t Izmir give it to you?

Your birthday’s still a while away, though.

Izmir? What does mum have to do with Izmir?

Ege,

Man…

did you think that woman would give up on you just because you said no?

Of course, they’re talking to each other.

They’re fine.

Ege, they’re fine.

I’m so glad they are.

What’s wrong?

Well, nothing…

My folks are fine too.

And you already knew that, didn’t you?

Ege…

Izmir, listen

I don’t want to be angry with you in this state.

But I can’t quite my mind, I can’t stop my thoughts.

So, for the love of God, tell me something.

I was…

While I was getting told off, working hours for you,

what were you thinking?

Were you thinking, “yeah work, idiot, I’m already getting money from your parents?”

-Ege, it’s not like that. -It’s not like that.

“I have a scholarship, Ege.”

“If you’re unhappy, don’t work. We’ll make do, Ege.”

Do you have any idea how bad it felt to hear those things?

Do you have any idea how inadequate I felt

while I was trying to stand up to my family,

tearing myself apart so you wouldn’t feel we didn’t have enough?

-Ege, I just… -You just…

You just lied to me, Izmir.

You betrayed my hurt, you betrayed my anger,

you betrayed our world.

I wouldn’t do that to you.

I wouldn’t have done that to you.

Will you come back after the court?

Plane is in the car.

I’m taking Train.

The same thing happened again.

Just when my soul started to bloom again, he left me.

He withered my joy, and the flowers in me.

The snow we dreamed of watching together fell without him.

It’s been exactly seven months since I’ve heard or read anything from him.

It’s like everything went back to how it was before I met Ege.

Those times when I retreated to my shell,

when no one noticed me.

Those times when even though I appreciated the value of what I had,

a part of me always felt empty,

and no matter how much I screamed into that emptiness,

no one ever heard my voice.

He’ll come back one day; I know.

Merve, Koray.

Welcome, come on in.

Come on in, kiddos.

Because our wounds exist

to let the light in.

Hi, welcome.

Let’s meet again. I’m Kuzey, Merve’s cousin. I study law.

Hi, I’m Izmir. I don’t study law.

Seems like we’ll get along just fine. Are we ready?

-Yes! -Yes!

-Hello, Mr Zorlu. -Hello, yes.

-Official document. -Thank you.

RESIDENCY PERMIT GRANTED

I wish the other guard came, he is more handsome.

See I haven’t changed one bit.

Don’t worry, it’s not like I’ve changed much, either.

I’ve just lost my mind, that’s all.

He’s not answering your calls, is he?

I stopped calling.

It’s clear he won’t answer.

Merve,

do you think

this happened because we didn’t make love?

Don’t be ridiculous, Izmir. Listen,

did Ege tell you anything about this?

No, never…

He never even hinted at it, but I don’t know

I’m just wondering if

our bond would have been stronger.

You’re not making sense.

Sometimes things are exactly as they seem.

You don’t need to search for something deeper.

So, he never loved me.

Because a man who loves doesn’t let go this easily.

He’d go after the girl no matter what.

So, you’re saying men don’t have feelings?

Men get hurt too, Izmir. Men get disappointed too.

You can’t ignore all that and expect

everything from them just because they’re men.

Men get tired too.

You’re right.

I wore him out.

I wore him out with the difficulties in my life.

I wore him out by leaving him alone with disappointment.

What’s going on? Who wore out who?

I’ll go and see Koray so he’s not left alone.

He’s coming here, anyway.

Koray, Koray.

Koray.

Leave him be, he’s happy as he is.

-The water is great, right? -Yes, it is.

How are you? I mean how is it going in general?

Well to be fair, it’s not really going.

I’m guessing Merve must have told you about it a little bit.

Well, she can’t really keep quiet.

But I might have asked her myself so there’s that too.

So, what about you?

Apart from studying law, I mean.

I don’t just study, Izmir. I write too.

I take a theatre class, and I write there.

Really?

I used to write back in the day too, but it was more like online stuff.

Why “back in the day”? Why not now?

Because

it doesn’t really mean anything anymore.

Or maybe that’s just what you think.

Maybe there’s someone out there who can’t wait to read what you write.

But I no longer have anyone I can’t wait to write for.

I think you won’t change anything by holding yourself back.

You’ll only end up becoming a person whose

light has dimmed, whose colours have faded.

And I don’t think

you’re someone who deserves to lose their light.

I’m a bit cold. Should we get back to Merve and the others?

Let’s go.

Just look at Koray, will you?

He’s having the time of his life out there on his own.

Yeah, he is.

We’re not betraying him, Izmir.

No, we’re not betraying him.

Come, join the selfie.

-One second, one second. -Come, come.

Here I am.

What do we say? Peynir or cheese?

-Peynir. -Peynir.

I hope the time we spent together today

isn’t the last time.

If you change your mind about the theatre class,

we can go together.

By the way, I’m Kuzey, Kuzey who studies law.

We’re not betraying him, Izmir.

No, we’re not betraying him.

My dear past,

I’m writing to you from the future.

I don’t know if you succeeded or not.

Are you still on that distant path

where you trembled as you walked through,

maybe seeing the sea in the distance,

and moving forward with the scent of flowers?

I don’t know if you’ve reached the sea yet.

I don’t know where you are now.

And more importantly, I don’t know who you’re with now.

Remember, we had a sea where we met by its shore.

We had a house we built in our minds.

We had a country

where we created a new language just to speak.

A country where we fell in love while crawling through its streets.

Where we were the light to each other.

Now we are slowly fading away like a dying star.

Will you join me in the darkness too?

Private number

Hello?

Hello?

I can’t hear you.

Hello?

Hello? Is it you?

Please, just say yes or no.

So what? Are you going to call me every night at the same time,

listening to my voice without saying anything?

I’ll play this game of silence with you on one condition.

Just say one thing.

Please, just one word.

I’m so stupid, right?

Maybe it’s not even you.

And now I’m begging someone I don’t even know.

Someone I’m angry at.

Please, give me something to hold on to.

Today, I spent time

at the beach with my parents.

We had fish together.

Sometimes,

my anger towards them is so intense,

but sometimes I just forget.

Takes time, I guess.

What are you doing?

You are eating?

Enjoy your meal.

You know what,

the summer’s been very rainy this year in Izmir.

Is it raining there too?

It sounds like a heavy rain. Go inside, don’t catch a cold, okay?

I started a new series today.

Bonjour.

Ege?

Bonjour.

Damn you!

Izmir?

Izmir, what’s wrong, my girl?

Nothing, mum.

Is it something we did?

Oh, no, what could you have done?

I have issues.

Izmir,

would like to talk, my girl?

Let’s not talk, mum.

In fact, let’s just pretend nothing ever happened.

Let’s just smile at the neighbours as if nothing happened.

Let’s sit down at the dinner table as if nothing happened.

Let’s go to bed as if nothing happened.

Listen,

I know you are angry with us.

And you are absolutely right.

But it’s obvious you’re also angry with someone else.

Someone you haven’t told us much about.

Knowing you a little,

I’m sure you’re right to be angry with them too.

Come here, sweetheart.

Sometimes, to move forward, you have to leave things behind.

In fact, run.

Run, Izmir.

Run and leave everything behind.

Everything we’ve been through,

and him too.

Bravo, Kuzey.

Both your text and your performance were pretty good.

-Thank you, sir. -Keep it up.

I thought you wouldn’t come.

I’m a little late, would that be a problem?

Don’t be silly. You’re here, that’s enough.

Early or late, it makes no difference. Come, let me introduce you to my teacher.

Do you think I can do it?

Izmir,

you are one of the deepest people I know.

Of course, you can.

Come.

Sir, sorry for interrupting.

This is my friend Izmir, whom I mentioned.

-Izmir, welcome. -Hello.

Kuzey showed me your writings online.

I don’t think you’ll have much trouble.

So, you didn’t think I’d read what you write?

Alright, then

you’re in charge of helping Izmir getting to know the place.

Of course, with pleasure.

-Welcome to the group again. -Thank you.

Let’s get you acquainted with the stage.

Go on stage. Go ahead.

It looks beautiful.

Close your eyes.

Go ahead, close your eyes. I’m going to ask you to do something.

Now, breathe in the smell of the stage.

I want you to feel this…

One day, a play written by you will be performed on this stage.

Imagine that.

Oh, what’s up, honey? Got yourself a new partner?

Hey, Nefis, welcome.

Izmir’s just started, and Nefise is one of our veterans.

I call her Nefis, though, because she’s exquisite.

Welcome, Izmir.

I hope you like this place as much as we do.

If you need anything, make sure to let me know, okay?

Thank you.

I’m heading to the dressing room, then. I need to get ready.

See you.

So, have you thought about what you’re going to write?

I have.

I used to think I was lonely.

But it turns out loneliness and being alone are two different things.

I realized that much later.

You can feel lonely even with someone beside you.

And you can feel less empty when you’re on your own.

Loneliness is when someone takes you up

to the highest point, only to thrown you down.

It is crying because you think,

“I’ve hit the ground before but it’s never hurt this much.”

Sir,

can we continue later?

Bravo, Izmir. You were great.

Izmir Aksoy.

-It’s me. -Here, these flowers are for you.

And I need you to sign right here.

Thank you, have a good day.

“To find the North Star, turn toward Kuzey (North)”

Nefise, can I sit too? My makeup smudged a little.

Come, dear

I think you need to be a bit more professional.

I mean if you were to cry and leave the stage every time, well…

Well, this was my first rehearsal.

I think I’ll get used to it in time.

You’ll get used to it, sure,

but I think the problem is with the text.

It’d be better if you changed it.

How should I put it?

It’s a bit too melodramatic.

It’s not melodramatic, Nefise, it’s real.

Well, in that case, to me, Arabesque songs are real too,

but you don’t listen to arabesque music.

What does that have to do with this?

Why not? I like Arabesque music.

Muslum Gurses, for example. I love him.

I didn’t know you were into Muslum.

I don’t listen much anymore, anyway.

Me neither, actually.

I stopped listening to his music because it hurts.

Sounds like there’s a story there.

Alright, here’s what we’re going to do,

Nefise has a very sweet band.

Their songs are great too, and they have a gig tonight.

I’m taking you there.

Maybe you’ll have new stories.

Thank you.

Izmir, what would you like to drink?

A cocktail will do. Something light.

-Thank you. -Enjoy it.

Here it is, enjoy it.

Thank you.

Wait, wait. Let’s say cheers!

I can order an even lighter drink if you like.

You’re so mean.

Excuse me, can we have two shots?

Two what?

-Shots, can we get two shots? -Shots.

Hope it doesn’t backfire.

Thank you.

Enjoy it. Are you okay?

Wasn’t that mine? Didn’t you order that for me?

Can I have a napkin?

Alright, you don’t need it anymore.

Izmir, Izmir.

Isn’t this enough? Maybe you shouldn’t drink anymore.

Like, don’t drink this one. Let me have it.

Would have been better if you hadn’t drunk that.

Alright.

Hold on, I need to get this.

Are you okay? You’re going backwards, don’t fall.

We should probably get going, okay?

This is so nice.

Let’s get wet?

But I have a job interview tomorrow.

If I get sick, which I will… How will that work?

Okay, princess, I’ll get wet.

Princess?

That’s mean.

I love it.

Let the princesses get sick too! No big deal!

I love it.

Where are the bodyguards?

I don’t know, where? You knew them.

I don’t know, where?

I don’t know.

Gone.

Listen,

body, guard

Bodyguard.

So like, aren’t they supposed to guard our bodies?

Interesting, that kind of makes sense.

Izmir kisses Ege and it takes Ege’s breath away.

Easy.

Love it. It’s raining.

Taxi!

Taxi.

-We’re here. -Wait.

Don’t run over me, taxi.

Hello?

Who was he?

Ege?

Ah, my head.

Ege, is it you?

Izmir, I want you to answer me.

Who was he?

So, you want to use the right you didn’t give me, is that so?

What I did wasn’t what you think it was.

-Neither was mine. -Oh, really?

Then, when I called, why did he answer the phone saying,

“Hello, I’m Izmir’s boyfriend, she’s in the bathroom”?

Ege, no such thing happened.

I know you, I know who you are, that’s not the issue.

but just give me that lousy bastard’s name.

There’s no name.

I went out with a friend last night.

We got a bit drunk.

And apparently, he made a stupid joke because of the alcohol, that’s all.

At least you didn’t hear anyone say, “bonjour” to me in my house.

Ege, I can’t do this, do you understand?

I can’t bear it. I am in pain.

I can’t see you. I can’t touch you, I can’t smell you.

I can’t even dream of you anymore, Ege.

I hear a woman’s voice in your house.

And I can’t even call you to ask you to account for it, Ege!

You haven’t called me or checked on me for seven months.

And now, all of a sudden,

you’re calling me because your jealous, selfish side is acting up, right?

You are right.

I am sorry.

So, is that it?

You’re just apologizing to me?

Izmir, please, stop. This is hurting me.

Everything’s always about you, right?

If someone did something, they must have done it to betray you.

I may be hearing the voice of a woman in your house

but I would still be the one at fault for not believing you.

You up and leave,

but you’re the one who misses the most, right?

What about me?

What about my feelings, my love, my longing?

Where do I put all that, Ege?

Who will understand me?

Are you going to hang up again?

No, I won’t.

I won’t hang up.

I won’t hang up until you ask me to.

-Are you okay? -I am.

Can you give me your number?

Not yet.

You are not going to call, are you?

I will.

I promise I will.

He didn’t call.

I waited for weeks, and he didn’t call.

Maybe what I needed wasn’t a warm sea,

but a cool breeze that knew what it was doing.

Not a blinding light,

but a lantern to guide me in the dark.

I had a whole life ahead of me.

A gift to be experienced.

I needed to get up from where I fell and start over.

Write a new story, maybe.

Without trying to be perfect.

Clearly,

this was all I was meant to get from life.

Hello?

Hello?

If you’re not going to talk, I’m hanging up.

Ege, I won’t let you play with me anymore.

-I’m hanging up. -Wait! Don’t.

-Ege? -Hello, good evening.

I’m Ege.

I’ve just moved into Ismet’s house upstairs.

I guess this cake is yours.

The delivery guy brought it, he couldn’t find the address.

So, I took it and I thought I’d bring it.

Thank you so much. Welcome, by the way.

Thanks a lot.

Mum,

I heard the doorbell. Who’s here?

Come, my girl.

Izmir, are you okay?

I am.

We were going to surprise you.

Ege’s just moved upstairs, into Ismet’s house.

When the delivery guy couldn’t find the

address, he kindly brought the cake himself.

-Hello, I’m Ege. -Hello.

-Izmir. -Nice to meet you.

I have a deadline for a text tomorrow.

If you don’t mind, I’ll be in my room.

What about the cake, my girl?

We’ll celebrate when I’m done, mum.

-Dad? -Alright.

Alright, dear, as you wish.

That was too loud.

He’s here.

Ege has come here.

I’m here.

Don’t worry, they think I’m in the bathroom.

Izmir, I’ll explain everything to you.

But let me hug you just once.

Don’t come any closer, please. Stay there.

I’ve missed you so much.

Ege, my parents will come. Can you please leave?

I’ll be waiting for you on the terrace at midnight.

Thank you for coming.

You went as far as renting a flat in the building.

It wouldn’t been cruel not to come.

You find me cruel, don’t you?

Was what I did really that unforgivable, Ege?

You ruined our relationship. Do you think it was worth it?

It wasn’t.

But I thought I could handle it.

What changed, Ege?

Wasn’t it you who convinced me to try this love in the first place?

What changed now?

I didn’t know what we were getting into at that time.

And you know what happened later.

Not being able to touch you,

being jealous,

fighting for no reason,

It’s been difficult.

And it still is.

It’s still difficult, Ege. Why did you come?

Because being without you is more difficult.

What if I’ve let someone into my life?

What if I’ve said yes to someone?

Aren’t you afraid of this at all? Don’t you think about it at all?

I thought about it but I wasn’t afraid.

Because no matter what, I know I’ll get you back.

You know?

Am I wrong to think that?

I know I don’t deserve to ask but

you have to give me an answer.

Bonjour.

Good morning.

As in

“that ship’s sailed”?

No.

As in, “who was the woman who came into your house and said “bonjour” cheerfully?

Lena’s nanny.

My mom sent Lena and her mum to France…

…to keep them away from all this for a while.

But after coming back to Turkey, I saw my brother.

-And then… -Then

you broke up with me because I had talked to your mum.

Not because you talked to her.

I broke up with you because you lied.

And I had been deceived big time.

When you go through something like that, you can’t tolerate another lie,

even from the person you love the most.

So, will you answer my question now?

No.

There’s no one in my life.

I mean, nothing’s progressed beyond friendship yet.

I wish I could cuddle you and sleep for days.

That would make everything better.

I wish everything was that simple but…

But what?

Throwing myself into your arms just like that would feel like a betrayal to myself.

Can’t we hug at all?

We can’t hug but

we can watch the sea side by side.

Shall we go to the movie theatre?

Maybe one day.

It’s started to rain. Should we go back?

No.

I mean,

stay.

Your mug is waiting for you.

Vitamin.

Thought it’d do you good.

Kuzey, you didn’t have to.

Well, I went out to get myself something

and I stopped by the pharmacy while I was at it.

Very thoughtful of you, thank you.

It’s not that I’m very thoughtful, only about certain things.

You’ll take one every morning.

I’ll check, okay?

Deal.

One every morning.

Kuzey.

I’ll go see what he wants.

-Ege? -Izmir.

Are you okay?

I’m very cold, do you have a blanket or something?

You’ve got a fever. Come in.

Go to my room, I’ll get you some medicine, okay?

Okay. If you insist.

Ege, I can’t believe you’re still joking in this state.

What are you doing?

Won’t you take my top off?

No.

No need, take this, and your fever will be broken.

You don’t have any Florence Nightingale syndrome.

I don’t have what?

Florence Nightingale syndrome.

Like, wanting to heal the wounded,

or, I don’t know, falling in love with the person you’re nursing etc.

Let’s not argue about who is more wounded.

Well, having a positive attitude is important for recovery.

So…

Alright, then.

I’m going to the other room. You’re only staying till you get better.

Why?

-Don’t go, can’t you stay? -I’ve got something to do.

-What is it? -Ege, I’ve got something to do!

I’m not joking, I’m serious.

Will you sit down? I’m sick.

I’m sick, I need you.

Alright, lie down.

I can’t sleep like this.

Izmir,

why don’t you lie down too?

Please.

I’m sick, have some mercy.

Ege, I’ll go to the other room.

Have pity on me, please.

Please.

Poor me.

Please.

-I’ll go. -Please.

-Fine, will you lie down? -Okay.

I’ll be back, just lie down.

Gosh, where’s Izmir?

She must be in her room, dear.

Izmir?

Honey? Can you take this, dear?

Ege, wake up!

-Ege, get up! -Izmir.

Get up, my parents are home. What are we going to do?

-What are we to do? Under the bed? -No, it’s cold down there.

-Not the closet. -My girl?

Dad, I’m coming, I’m getting ready.

-Come on, my girl. -I’m ready.

Izmir?

-You’re home? -My girl.

-I was on my way to you. -We’re home.

Come on, we’re waiting for you.

Ege, wake up.

Will you get up?

Alright, I’m up.

Good morning.

Good morning. How do you feel?

-I’m feeling better. -Alright, time to get ready.

Why? No need, your parents have left.

Do you have any plans for today?

I have a class.

Let’s do something after class?

Can you get up? I’ll take the sheets.

Izmir, please, I moved across borders.

I travelled thousands of kilometres.

And I’m full of regret.

I really am.

Won’t you give me a chance to make it right?

The class ends at about three.

I’ll send you the location.

Okay.

What was your favourite flower?

You don’t know?

I’m sorry I don’t remember.

There’s no such flower.

Got it, you’re going to make me suffer.

Anyway.

At least that idiot named Kuzey doesn’t know

what your favourite flower is, either.

Ege, Kuzey again?

Kuzey.

I brought us some tea.

You’re amazing. Thank you.

You’re welcome.

Izmir added a new part to the text.

What’s up with that?

What do you mean? She’s trying things out.

Come on, Kuzey, you know that

it’s an autobiographical text.

That’s even better.

It means it’s not finished yet, it’ll change a lot more.

It seems like someone’s pretty upset about the situation.

Who are you talking about?

Nothing important.

Kuzey…

He’ll tell you later.

-How much? -400 will do.

-Much appreciated. -Thanks.

Is it okay if we cancel today? The class ran late.

Remember the internship I told you about?

Yes, you were afraid of getting wet because you

wouldn’t be able to make it to the interview.

-Well, it’s cancelled. -Why?

Someone important asked a favour for their nephew.

And they couldn’t say no.

They’re sorry etc., etc. Ridiculous stuff like that.

Kuzey, are you serious?

How could they do that? I’m so sorry.

Sometimes no matter how hard you try,

being someone’s acquaintance or nephew ends up being more important.

It’s not what you think, I just wanted to support someone

who supported me during hard times. That’s all.

Gosh.

Ege?

-Are you crying? -Ege, I thought you left.

Where would I go?

Weren’t you leaving?

I’m not leaving, Izmir.

I’m not going anywhere.

I’ll ask you this one last time.

And then, I’ll never bring it up again.

Deal?

Have you turned toward Kuzey, Izmir?

I’m Ege’s pearl.

I have nothing to do with Kuzey.

Kiss me.

Ege, I need to go.

Izmir, don’t go.

Izmir, I’ve missed you a lot.

I’ve missed you too.

But we still have so much to talk about.

If I let you go now, I feel like I’ll never find you again.

You will.

I promise you will.

Actually, wait a second,

there’s zero kilometres between us now.

You can’t escape

even if you want to.

By the way, my favourite flower is peony.

You owe me a peony.

WAKE UP ALREADY

-Good morning. -Good morning.

Can you help me unpack today?

-I’ll be there soon. -Okay, deal.

See you later.

Ege, our lights.

Where should we put them?

I thought we’d wrap them around the headboard.

What do you think?

It would be lovely.

What’s this envelope?

Nothing important.

Well… Shall we try the lights?

-I’m curious how they’ll look. -Okay.

Izmir.

I thought you had quit the course.

Let’s just say I was gathering new material.

I wish you hadn’t brushed off my texts,

so, I wouldn’t have had to hear it from Merve.

I didn’t think you’d want to know.

I’m sorry.

Don’t, Izmir.

Why?

I mean, why?

After everything he put you through,

after all the pain, why?

Because one hangs on to light.

To a bright light at the end of big darkness.

One that lights you up inside when you hold on to it.

When the dark rooms of your heart light up one by one

you become a new version of yourself.

The self you’ve never been able to be.

Like you have just been born.

Like you are learning how to love for the first time.

Like breathing.

Where are my flowers?

I forgot.

I’m sorry I’ll bring them next time.

I’m sorry.

Out of habit, sorry.

Izmir, is there a problem?

It talks about my text, a video.

Paris.

It must have been sent by mistake.

Can I take a look?

Well, your name is on it.

And it came to your email address.

So, it’s not by mistake, it’s real.

Your application is accepted.

Ege,

you know I won’t go, right?

I know.

But I don’t want you to…

I don’t want you to look at me…

I don’t want you to look at me for the rest of your life,

and see a missed opportunity, Izmir.

Hold on.

Hey, could you turn down the volume a little bit?

What is it to you, shiny boy? Mind your own business?

Ege, what are you doing?

Ege, stop!

Who are you to hit me?!

Who the hell are you, shiny boy?!

“I don’t want today to end badly.”

It’s a very beautiful photo.

I miss Lena. I thought you were in France.

Good morning.

Good morning.

Izmir, you don’t regret this, do you?

No.

On the contrary, it was a decision I made after much thought.

I don’t regret it at all.

Even if it ends one day.

Do you think I’ll leave you one day?

I don’t.

Won’t you check that?

Probably nothing important.

I’ll make us breakfast, then.

Let’s get in a better mood.

Okay?

Dear Izmir, Lena misses you too.

It’s been about 5 years since our last trip to France.

How are you?

She was Lena’s nanny.

My mum sent Lena and her mum to France

To keep them away from all this for a while.

Family reunification

Damn it!

Damn it!

How could you do this to me?

I was going to explain everything. It was all out of formality.

I am sorry. I love you.

Well, yes, I guess that would be better.

Izmir,

I heard you decided to go to Paris.

I’m so happy for you, Izmir.

I really am.

You’re doing the right thing.

Was it you who sent the video and the text to the academy?

The president of the academy, who sent you the email, is Turkish.

He got pretty excited when he saw your video.

He told me to make sure you apply right away, but

Ege had just come, and you weren’t going to apply.

So, I did it for you.

Kuzey, I really don’t know

what to do or say now.

Izmir,

You are one of the most talented people I’ve ever met, okay?

And the whole world deserves to see that.

Please, go.

Go,

and shine.

Kuzey, you are such a good man.

Well,

being good doesn’t always cut it, of course.

It’s not enough, Izmir.

Without you,

this city, this world is not enough for me.

I got a new phone line to reach you.

I hope you don’t block this one too.

Block

Alright.

Best of luck to you, İzmir.

Turkish citizens living in Europe, especially in France, are so

passionate and appreciative of such theatre events.

I’m sure with you joining us, we’ll accomplish many wonderful things together.

Thank you so much.

To me, this feels like a dream. I still can’t believe it’s real.

Half of the dream has come true.

The rest will happen when we receive the texts. When are we getting them?

I’ll have them delivered to you within 6 months at the latest.

-Mr Remzi, 6 months? -It’s a long time.

-For you, huh? -Let’s just say okay then.

Great. Best of luck to you, then.

-Thank you so much. -Thank you.

6 months later

Have a good day.

The little girl wandered around,

and found herself in front of the Eiffel Tower.

With a thousand questions in her mind.

But

she knew that there was only one answer to them all.

And it was as if she had come here to hear that answer from the Eiffel Tower.

She didn’t know if she was ready for this.

Or in fact, maybe

she was afraid of what she was about to hear.

But this had to end now.

The Eiffel Tower said to her,

“All stars spin and burn,

and eventually fade away.

Sometimes things go wrong and

some loves remain unfinished.

And some knights’ stories

end without fighting.

No, they don’t.

The little girl wandered around.

And found herself in front of the Eiffel Tower.

With a thousand questions in her mind.

And there was only one answer.

And it was as if she had come here to hear that answer from the Eiffel Tower.

And the Eiffel Tower said to her,

“Look up at the sky, Izmir,

Your Ege misses you so much.

If you had listened to me,

I would have told you that marriage was just a formality to stay in Paris,

that it had happened way before you,

and that the moment I decided to come to you, I ended it.

I’m at fault.

I’m at fault, but not because I did something wrong.

I’m at for fault because I hid it from you.

I’ve never touched her.

I’ve never held her.

I’ve never taken her hand and set off on a journey to an endless harbour with her.

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry for everything I did.

I love you so much.

I can’t imagine a life without you.

Why didn’t you come all this time?

I had to apply for a visa.

-How many days? -12 days.

So, what do we do now?

I’ve thought of something.

To be together forever,

to reignite our faded lights,

to fall in love again in the city where we first fell in love,

will you marry me, Izmir?

Yes.

Forever and always.

You’ve gotten used to getting visas through marriage.

This is not about the visa,

we’re building a whole new country from scratch together.

Our own country.

I am proud of you.

Mrs Izmir,

I just had to get this off my chest.

The character you played reminded me of someone I knew a long time ago,

someone I loved very much.

Congratulations. I’ll definitely come back again.

I’m so glad you liked it. Thank you.

Thank you.

Have a good day, see you.

Have a good day.

We’ve made it.

Here we are.

You are mine now.

I am yours now.

We’ve crossed all the distances.

We got so tired.

But it was worth it.

We are at each other’s 0 kilometre.

I’ll love you forever.

Ege’s promise.

-Shall we go to our house? -Let’s go.