All language subtitles for the_latest_buzz_s03e14_the_buzz_club_issue

Hear me, hear me. Michael and I have a
special announcement.

You've entered the pretentious games of
the two -person team?

Nope. If we're not dating anybody by
prom, we're going as each other's dates.

Wow, that's closer than I thought.

Isn't it weird that none of us are in a
relationship?

Some of us have dated, some of us have
come close, but none of us have really

stuck it out. I'm forgetting about
Waldo's love affair with this sandwich.

Hey! Do not mock the Wilderwitch. One
day this baby's going to make me huge.

The way you're eating them? A lot
quicker than you think.

What about D .J. and Mr. Shepard? Those
two are solid.

You blunderhead.

How could you leave marriage off of your
20 goals in 20 years plan?

Learning to unicycle, check.

Throat singing, check. Look at my list.
Right at the top. Your list is called

marriage and 19 other things I want to
do in 20 years.

If you two break up, who gets custody of
Wilder?

Remember before you answer. He eats six
times a day and doesn't make any sense.

Hey. DJ, who knows where any of us are
going to be in 20 years?

Actually, I do.

Eddie bought me a crystal ball on a
business trip. I wanted a purse, but

good, too, because it can let me know
what purse will be hot next season.

Please. There is no way that thing can
tell the future.

There's no such...

Watching the time pass.

Can't wait to get out and hang out with
my friends.

Find out what's new.

Contrasting on who.

And is that what we do? It's a whole new
thing.

In the pages of my magazine.

Wilder? Rebecca!

Wilder? You look like the same Rebecca
Hopper I saw 20 years ago.

And you look like six the same Wilders I
saw 20 years ago.

I know. Six times as awesome.

Hey, congratulations on buying Buzz.

And almost everything else in the world.
That Wilder actually caught on, huh? I

told you he'd make me huge one day.

He certainly did.

And you also became famous and made a
lot of money.

Having money rules.

I can do whatever I want. Like right
now, I'm beaming an electronic version

Team Buzz right into space.

So now you can find out if there really
are aliens.

Whoa.

I actually bought the word if and the
word aliens.

You're not allowed to put them in the
same sentence anymore.

So is Noah here?

Man serving, get in here.

Yes, boss. What is it, boss?

I'd like a snack.

R. Noah?

I almost didn't recognize you.

You look thinner.

That's not even possible.

It is, but then next to Wilder, even the
walls look thin.

Man, stir up my snack.

One Wilder Witch coming up.

Now come here and give me a big hug.
Come on, come on.

Come here.

Just around.

Welcome to Wilder Inc.

Incorporated. Elevator now going up.

I can't believe the Judy King of EWOW is
now the voice of everything.

I can't believe in 20 years this
elevator hasn't changed one bit.

Took us all right up to the top floor.

Wanted to go higher, but there was no
more.

Hold the magic for a sec, sweetie. I've
got a call.

It's go time.

No, you can't speak to a man of Pierce
hyphen Davies.

This is her manager slash husband.

Will my wife slash recording artist
slash meal ticket endorse your product?

Yeah, I don't care what it is. If it
pays, it plays, baby.

So, are you excited to see everyone?

Everybody except Wilder.

Not that he makes more money than we
slash you do.

Today's top story, the fourth floor.

Welcome to Teen Buds.

Wow, this is the old kitchen?

It turned into quite a nerve center.

So, is this the computer that's sending
signals into space?

No, this is Wilder's sandwich machine.

Sandwich.

This is what's sending signals into
space.

A toaster?

Mine just has a setting for bagels.

Oh, by the way, you have a button
undone. I know. Ever since Wilder became

big to do his up, I told him it was a
new style.

So, how are you?

Fantastic.

I'm a man who can't do up his buttons so
as not to offend his boss.

I make sandwiches for a guy who I once
tricked into wearing underwear and a

to our grad.

So, uh, what are you up to, R?

A wardening journalist.

Just like I wanted.

Where is that Rebecca Harper?

Noah Jackson, this song is for you.

Michael and Amanda.

Look at you two.

Still married and still not caring about
the piles before gas code. Ah, Wilder,

you big old softy.

You're bald.

You're Wilder's manservant.

You win.

I still can't believe you're richer than
Daddy. And you once said that kajillion

wasn't a real number. Now I'm worth two
kajillion dollars.

Rebecca, I heard about Bubba.

Yep.

A hundred years old and still going
strong, she gives all the credit to

Nash.

Rebecca Harper!

It's mine!

I see. Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.

Okay, got it.

I just got word from the blurb. Yes, I
own that, too.

Stop by for a wilderwidge sometime.

DJ and Mr. S are on their way.

Everybody hide!

It's so nice of you to have a surprise
25th anniversary party for DJ.

Actually, I'm firing DJ, so it's going
to be an even bigger surprise.

I can't

believe

it. It only took 20 years, but we're
finally getting married.

Sorry about the wait.

Oh, wait, what was my excuse again?

Oh, right. I have no body.

Don't look at me.

You're the one that wanted to learn how
to ride a rocket unicycle.

Much better.

Could use a little oil, though.

So, I'm in Northern Canada. Oh, we don't
call it that anymore.

You know, after Wilder bought it. Right.

So I was in Northern Canada, dude, when
I came across the group. I missed you.

What?

I miss.

Surprise!

You're fired!

Thank you, Wilder. Wait, what did you
just say?

Here, check the time. It's fired o
'clock.

You're firing me at my anniversary
party?

Welcome to the new buzz.

Enjoy your watch.

Where's Mr. Shepard?

Hi, kids.

It has to be said.

to Mr.

Shepard's head.

Oh, that.

It was a rocket unicycle mishap. I
always told Shepard he'd lose that thing

it weren't attached to his body.

I am so tired of that joke.

Don't worry.

We're shopping for new bodies. Looks
like we're going with Dex Cobra.

I'm baking up justice, and I'm always
serving seconds.

Do I love my hubby or a man who's really
chubby?

Michael Davies.

I'm sorry, but Amanda Pierce -Davies
does not perform for under $10 million.

Zuzu Moon does?

Well, then $8 million it is.

I've got good news.

I landed you a gig Zuzu Moon was dying
to get.

And that's why you're the best manager
in the world. Manager slash husband in

the world.

Oh, I got another call.

It's go time. Talk to me.

Did you say what I thought you did?

What, surprise?

Yeah. I was going to go with, Mr.
Shepard, have you lost weight? But

seemed more effective.

Did you say that you missed me?

Don't worry. I know an award -winning
journalist would never have time for a

lackey like me.

If he would have felt lackey, he still
knew how to make her laugh.

Okay.

What do these three things have in
common? Deep -fried shrimp, a sneeze

and Wilder? I give up. There are three
things you'll find at every buffet.

Toast. I don't believe it. We've made
contact.

Wilder was right.

Aliens do exist.

He didn't want this.

The aliens are attacking.

They'll be our evil overlords crushing
us under their scaly, tyrannical thumbs.

Oh, dear.

Sherry Overwood had twins?

What did she name them?

Publicity and stunt?

With some congrats slash best wishes.

Oh, really gotta stop slamming down the
phone.

Got another call? Let's go down.

I gotta say, you and Michael married?

Nobody saw that coming.

Yeah, Michael and I should have never
agreed to be each other's prom date.

People assumed we were an item.

Boys stopped asking me out. Trying to
fart -wire us, stopped asking Michael

And before I knew it, I was wearing a
wedding dress and walking down the

Oh, yes.

So, you wondered, what if?

All the time.

Like this morning, I wondered, what if
our nostrils stank? Would we smell them

every time we inhaled?

I meant, have you ever wondered what
would have happened if I went to Mexico

instead of Paris?

Sure. We'd have fallen in love. I would
have been your first kiss. We'd have

gotten married. I would have worked for
your dad and maybe made daddy's

assistant's assistant.

Let go of my dream of selling the Wilder
Witch and spent the rest of my life in

a job I hated.

Oh, well, good thing that didn't happen.
I mean, your life is pretty awestruck.

Weird thing, though.

The more awestruck my life became, the
less I found myself actually saying

awestruck. It's my biggest regret.

I love that word.

Amanda! I think it's time we had another
slash to your name.

Let me guess.

Amanda Pierce hyphen Davy slash
recording artist slash pitch person

reality show contestant. Nope. Amanda
Pierce hyphen Davy slash recording

slash pitch person slash mother.

You want us to have a baby? Yeah. It'd
be great to get into the baby music

slash food market.

Right. Why else would anyone want a
baby? Exactly.

Hold on. I got a call. Talk to me.

Robot Mouse Invaders 23.

Once again, Duck on level 9.

Ungard.

We have major news, boss.

Get me up, you fool.

Come on. Get me up.

You've made contact with aliens.

I must click my heels with joy.

And he's down again.

Get me up. Yes, sir. Come on. Come on.

It must be...

Well done you deserve a raise

There's

more we don't know why but the aliens
have launched an intergalactic attack

no

or Inc.

Incorporated.

Manservant, fix this problem now or
you're fired.

You really think you should leave global
defense to a manservant like me? I have

no formal training for this. Time to
earn your dental plan.

I can't believe aliens aren't friendly.
I am so angry. I need to kick something.

I'm just... Ow!

Man down!

Man down!

He fired me, Mom.

Yes. On the day Shepard proposed to me.

Mm -hmm.

What? You planned the wedding already?

Uh -huh.

Oh, I'll let him know.

My mom says that she'd spend most of the
money for your new body on the wedding.

Now we can't afford the Dex Cobra model.

What can we afford?

A very short manual horse.

I don't want to be short.

Centaur it is, Mom.

Great. Just great.

Oh, honey.

your chin up.

I'm sorry I couldn't resist, but
honestly, keep it up because you

time you almost suffocated?

So how much does the horse then?

If I don't stop this alien attack, I am
in so much trouble.

You do realize that if you don't stop
it, then being fired won't really

Yes, it will.

Wilder being mad is way worse than
annihilation. He yells and screams and

things and naps and eats and yells and
screams and throws more things. He

me.

Hey, the Noah Jackson I knew would never
let Wilder treat him this way. The Noah

Jackson I knew would fight back and make
a joke.

Yeah, well, that Noah Jackson no longer
exists.

What happened?

After he left Buzz, I stopped writing,
couldn't keep a job.

Even music didn't mean anything.

So learning that I was broke and still
living in my old room, hey, at least I

had the top bunk, Wilder offered me a
job.

Well, actually, he asked me to make him
a sandwich. It just turned into a full

-time job.

Why'd you have to kiss Elliot?

It was on top of the Eiffel Tower under
the full moon, and I miss you two.

You do?

Yes.

Now, while I don't care who you are,
we're older now, and you finally kissed

that girl to even the score.

So why not give it another try?

Here's the thing. I've been on a bit of
a cold streak with the ladies, so sadly

I still have to do that. It's only fair
a guy has to keep his dignity.

Now, if you'll excuse me.

I have to break in a pair of Wilder's
underwear.

Yes, you'll get exclusive photo rights
as long as Amanda gets top billing over

the baby.

Yes, the baby's second banana.

So it's a deal? All right.

I'm going to be a great father.

I'm leaving you.

You're leaving me? How could you do
this? After all those years I stood by

and made you who you are, you will rue
the day.

Wait.

As my wife or my client?

Your wife.

Oh, yes, that's right.

I thought you were going to say client.

So you don't mind?

I know I'm a great agent, but I also
know I'm a lousy husband.

I think you should follow what's in your
heart.

I don't know if I'll get a chance to say
this later, but I'm telling you now.

It wouldn't have mattered to me if I
ended up in a job that I hated. Because

the end of the day, I would have come
home to you.

And that would have been forever
awestruck.

Thanks, father.

There I go again!

I was so happy then.

I can't believe you have that same box
of junk after 20 years. You know yak

doesn't spoil.

DJ, I don't want to marry you.

Oh, honey, you just have cold feet. You
know, if you had feet.

No, I don't. I'm calling it off.

Are you telling me that I've waited 20
years for an engagement that lasted two

hours? I didn't want to wait 20 years. I
wanted to ask you that day we both made

up our goal list.

Then why wasn't marrying me on your
list?

Because I only wrote down 19 items.

Number one was going to be to propose to
you. Then you called me a blunderhead,

and it kind of ruined the moment.

Then why didn't you ask me to marry you
after that?

Because I wanted to think of a cool way
to ask you, but everything I came up

with was lame.

Then I got the idea to do it on a rocket
unicycle, and hey, we all know how that

turned out.

You and your head in the clouds ideas.

Oops, I didn't mean it that way,
honestly.

DJ, I'm sorry.

But I don't want a marriage where you
climb onto my back and we gallop off

the sunset.

I'm going to quit while I'm ahead.

Wow, it really is difficult not to make
jokes.

Goodbye, Shepard.

I'll always love you.

This is Judy King saying 15 minutes to
an alien attack.

Have a nice day.

I know why they're attacking.

They find that Teen Buzz lacks heart.
They feel that as humans, we have such

little passion that we are ripe for
destruction.

Before we get blown to smithereens, I
have to tell you something.

Your dad still thinks we're dating?

No. Well, yes, that's been a hard lie to
keep up for 20 years.

But that's not it.

I'm not exactly the award -winning
reporter I led you to believe.

Oh, but you're still a reporter.

I write... for a community newspaper.

I have to deliver the newspapers myself
or nobody will even read them. But you

left Buzz to become this journalist to
find a big story. I know, it's just that

every story I seem to chase, it didn't
seem to compare to the one I left

True love.

I guess like Team Buzz, I lost my
passion.

I know how to save the world. Does it
involve kissing a girl? If it does, we

be in trouble.

If the aliens think they can attack
because Team Buzz lacks passion, then

give them some.

But how?

I don't have any.

Look, you're not the only one who lied.

I never stopped writing. I stopped
getting published.

On this bread is everything I've written
in the last 20 years, and each one has

enough passion to stop a convoy of
flying saucers. You put it all onto that

piece of bread?

It's multigrain.

This is Judy King.

Aliens have enjoyed the article and are
returning home.

Good night, everyone.

Yes, we did it!

I heard the good news!

Time to celebrate.

Issue this release.

Wilder Inc.

Incorporated saves the day. Get to it,
manservant.

No!

I am tired of doing your dirty work for
you. I am not your manservant.

My name is Noah Jackson, and I am a
human being.

And you are a human blimp.

I just had to figure out a way to make
you do it. Wait, so this whole treat me

like dirt thing was to get me on my
feet?

Hey, you are my best friend.

You could have lent me money.

I wish I thought of that.

Hoots!

Nice job.

Noah Jackson saves the world from
aliens.

Looks like you got your big story.

Aliens isn't exactly the story I want to
follow right now.

Whoa, what happened? I don't believe
this.

I guess that I didn't pay for the full
Into the Future Minutes plan.

Nothing worse than a penny -pinching
billionaire.

So, if we don't have dates by prom,
we'll go solo.

Yep, definitely.

Solo slash alone.

Don't start, Michael.

Maybe I should do some jumping jacks or
something.

Come on, you can't believe that fancy
bocce ball.

Yeah, there's no way you can prove that
will actually happen in the future.

17, 18, 19.

You only have 19 items.

What happened to number one?

DJ?

Will you marry me?

Yes, Shepard.

If you ever ride a rocket unicycle, I'll
knock your head off myself.

Not to worry. I want to be head and heel
over you.

So, where's everyone?

DJ and Mr. Shepard are taking us all to
the burger bar to celebrate.

So, do you think there's any truth to
that crystal ball?

I hope so.

I'd love to see Michael bald.

But what if we really do end up that way
because we never made up?

All alone and unhappy.

All right.

It's not going to happen.

How do you know?

Because of this.

Good answer.