All language subtitles for the_latest_buzz_s03e01_the_back_to_school_issue

Previously, on The Latest Buzz.

Now, even though you all have summer
plans, you'll still be filing your

from wherever you are. Zuzu, this is my
girlfriend, Rebecca Harper. I'm a big

fan of your music. I'm a big fan of your
boyfriend!

Zuzu's asked me to tour as a reporter
with her for the summer.

I'm not going to Mexico.

I'm going to Paris.

You're the only one who never made me
feel stupid.

Till now.

My heart will find you.

It'll sneak up behind you.

Just to remind you how special you are
to me.

I knew it would be you. Wanna come with?

To Paris?

Thank you.

coming home to mama? You do know you're
not their actual mother, right?

Yes. Just think, when those elevator
doors open, we'll see a more mature

of BuzzRiders.

Mr. Shepard!

OMG,

you and Mr. Shepard are still an item?

I owe you five bucks, Rebecca.

Nobody better have touched that sandwich
I made last June. I'm talking to you,

Mr. Shepard. Luckily, the shelf life of
a sandwich is three months.

Is it brighter in here or is that my own
star shining?

Here's my first story. I gave you 14
versions to choose from. I think...

still needs work.

My mini football? No, it's my mini
football.

Yeah,

way more mature. I hardly recognize
them.

Some of them got taller and have deeper
voices.

Okay, journos, pitch time is in five
minutes.

Come on.

Promise me you're not going to tell Noah
about Elliot.

The only thing he needs to know about
your last night in Paris is that Baba

into the same river.

You can hardly blame me.

It was a goodbye kiss on top of the
Eiffel Tower under the full moon in

And that's why you don't have to tell
him.

Kissing a cute foreign boy in Paris so
falls under the not in the same area

rule. You can kiss someone if they're
not in the same area code?

Then maybe Noah kissed the moon.

That would be awesome!

A girl can only hope.

So even though you were in different
area codes, you didn't kiss the moon?

Not even once?

Does accidentally drinking from a water
bottle count?

Only if she was drinking out of it at
the same time.

Then not at all.

Zuzu got so fed up that she kicked me
off her tour in Thunder Bay.

It's cold.

Exactly what Stinky Calhoun said.

Stinky Calhoun?

My seatmate on the 20 -hour bus ride
home. And trust me, he earned that

nickname. Why? What does Calhoun mean?

Oh, Stinky.

Eww.

At least it's overdue. Zuzu Moon is out
of your life forever.

You gotta admit, it is catchy.

Yes, Mom, I'm still dating Andrew.

Well, then I guess you owe Dad five
bucks.

Yeah.

Mom,

I gotta call you back. Someone extremely
important just came in my office.

Bye, bye.

I wouldn't say I'm extremely important.

Oh, who am I kidding? Of course I would
say it.

And you would say it as my little boy
who's growing up so fast.

Yeah, yeah, I'm taller, my voice is
deeper, and my thought quality is even

obvious. It's called puberty.

I'm an editor of a teen magazine.

I've heard of it.

So what's up, Michael?

You know, I spent my summer doing small
roles in movies.

Yeah, I joined your glee book group,
Michael Davies.

Superstar. And if you hadn't laughed
after the first day or the 59 updates,

you would know I starred in Justice Cast
Rule 2, Pass the Salt, with Dex Cobra.

Dex Cobra, the bald beaut? The Montego
man with the muscles?

Exactly.

Who better to play a son?

Dirt Cobra. Want to hear my catchphrase?

Crime is a dish.

And I am the dishwasher.

So you clean crime.

It's better if you don't think about it
too much.

Michael, I'm happy for you, but try not
to get too carried away.

Oh, my people told me that there'd be
player haters like you.

People? My agent, my manager, my
entertainment lawyer, my business

divorce lawyer.

How many lawyers do you have?

I'm not sure.

Let me call my lawyer's lawyer.

Hey, you.

Hey, Amanda. What's crack -a -lackin'?
I'm back -a -lackin'. And I couldn't be

more awestruck.

So, does this mean you forgive me?

In my family, we don't hold grudges. We
hold crutches.

Just ask Uncle Hopalong.

Anyway, I gotta jet, but I'll see you on
the flip side, my little lady.

Hello? Daddy, sister, you know the plan
where we were gonna deport Wilder to

Guam if he didn't forgive me?

Cancel it!

Here,

I got you something.

I got you something, too.

Yay, presents!

A guitar pick shaped like a heart.

Rebecca plus Noah.

I love it. There's only two in
existence, and I gave the other one to

Calhoun.

He needs something to pick his ear with.

Wow, a cloth pancake.

It's a beret, silly.

Look, I got one that matches.

So you do.

You hate it.

No, no, no, no, no.

I hate yours, but I love mine, see?

I'm kidding. It's way better than some
Eiffel Tower snow globe.

Eiffel Tower?

Why would you think I'd get you one of
those? I never even went to the Eiffel

Tower. That sounds inconspicuous.

I'm going to the blurb. Maybe you should
take off that beanie and let the blood

get to your brain.

I want to steal it.

Move, Rebecca.

Thank you.

Michael Theodore Davies, get in here!

Let me guess. You won't hear my line
again.

Crime is a dish.

Why does your agent think that I'm your
personal assistant?

Well, you don't want my people to think
that I don't have other people, do you?

They need to know how easily replaceable
they are.

Michael, I am an editor of an award
-winning magazine.

I do not take messages from my staff.

So what do my agents say?

wow is premiering the trailer for
justice casserole 2 tomorrow this is

they only sneak peek blockbusters soon
you'll be my real assistant what no

michael there i told him

what yes shepherd and i are still
together well then i guess

you owe dex cold

I'm so happy it's you.

Thanks, Amanda, but a lot of people want
to work the elevator.

Um, you're pressing the open button.

You want closed?

So I do.

So I do.

I'm so happy it's you because I've still
got my kiss coupon and I'm cashing it

in now.

I'm flattered, Amanda, but we're on the
office elevator.

Let's try to keep it professional.

And that's my professional way of saying
you don't want your first kiss in the

elevator. I do, too.

summer and an elevator is perfect. So
kiss me, you fool.

Oops.

Forgot to push down.

And that's how I spent my summer.

You whore thing.

But you have to admit, it is catchy.

I have a confession, R.

And I don't know how to say it, so I
just will.

I know. You kissed us at noon. It's
okay. You had to. The different area

rules and effect. It's okay, because
when I was in Paris, I got kicked out of

Kim's shop slot wearing the snatched
leggings, and Baba fell on the Seine

and I took a journalism course and met
this English boy named Elliot, who I

kissed. I wasn't planning to, but it was
on top of the Eiffel Tower under the

full moon in Paris.

So it looks like we're even.

I didn't kiss anyone.

What I was going to say was... I do hate
the spray.

Why couldn't I have stopped after Bob in
the river?

Noah, can we talk?

I don't know. Are there any English boys
around? Your lips might be busy.

I didn't mean for it to happen.

I swear, it was on top of the Eiffel
Tower under the full moon in Paris.

Oh, a full moon.

What are you, a kissing werewolf?

I'm really sorry. I know what I did was
wrong, but I have a way to make it up to

you. How?

I think you should kiss a girl.

You want me to kiss a girl? Yes, any
girl you want.

Then we'll be even.

Good plan, except for one thing.

You're too heartbroken to kiss anyone
right now?

Nope. I can kiss as many girls as I want
because you and I are no longer a

couple.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some
big -time smooching to do out there in

world.

Well, I hope Zuzu's song makes it to
number one. Oh, yeah?

Crumpets stay in lots of kisses.

You want your first kiss to be at
Ernie's theme.

I suggest the hallway by the bio lab.

The lighting there at noon is to die
for.

Oh, Mikey, this kiss is going to be
perfect. People will see where it will

spread, and it'll be even more popular
than I am now.

Cool, Amanda?

No one has always been all ready to be
kissed.

What's wrong with school?

Okay. So you and me kiss here at Ernie
C. It creates such electricity that kids

miss class to come watch. They're
suspended from school.

Parents now have no choice but to miss
work to homeschool their kids. One such

parent is Douglas Gordon Allen, head of
security against alien attacks.

While he's tutoring his no -good son,
aliens blast Earth's smithereens.

Why? Because Amanda Pierce wasn't ready
to be kissed. Is that what you want,

Amanda? Total Earth death?

I didn't think so.

You, uh, you could kiss an action hero.

Crime is a dish.

And I am the dishwasher.

Go soak your head in the kitchen sink.

I knew my castration involved housework.

It was in Brockville that the 21 -year
-old Peter Jennings started his meteoric

rise in broadcasting.

In 1959, a local radio station... What
are you doing? Trying to find Elliot

online.

Got it narrowed down to 500 ,000 people.

If it helps, he's from London.

From London, good.

Down to 250 ,000 possibilities.

What are you going to do?

Fly over to England and wring his neck?

Because you need to be warned, he's a
lot tougher than you are.

Tougher than Noah Jackson.

Wow, that bumps it up to a million.

That's still working out.

Quickbeam's just a baby.

Quickbeam's just a kisser. That doesn't
even make sense. Yes, it does. You kiss

another boy. It was on top of the Eiffel
Tower under a full moon in Paris.

Mr. Shepard.

Hi.

Here's five bucks I won for Amanda.

This never happened.

You two know how I feel about cell
phones in my class. They're not only

disrespectful to me, but to the entire
group.

Oh.

Uh, there it is.

Is that your such a waste of time?

You gotta admit it is, Cassie.

Hello?

Mrs. Jeffries!

DJ said that?

Well,

DJ, we all knew this time would come.

The time when you asked me a question
that wasn't about you?

Don't be ridiculous.

The day I said goodbye to Buzz.

I obviously can't work here if I'm in
Hollywood.

My resignation letter.

It's blank.

I thought as my assistant you'd write it
for me.

I am not your assistant.

Look, Michael, I would love for your
Hollywood dream to come true, but I just

don't want to get your hopes up.

That's sweet, DJ.

I'll include that in my biography.

I'm calling it the greatest story ever
told.

You might want to go with another
choice. That one's already taken.

See, that's why you're such a great
assistant.

After you book my massage, you give
yourself a five -minute break and a 1 %

raise. I am not your assistant!

Thanks, DJ!

I, Michael Theodore Davies, hereby...
Come on, bring it on. What are you going

to do? What are you going to do?

Think you can kiss my girl clown?

Oh, smiling, huh? Well, how about a
knuckle sandwich seasoned with rape?

You know, there's a lot more to be
kissing Elliot than you think. What, he

you a hickey too?

Scoundrel. It happened August 26th.

Just some holiday in England. Noah
Jackson is a loser day.

Think where you were August 26th. I
could tell you exactly where I was.

All I have to do, check Zuzu Moon's
official webpage.

www. You are so lucky you didn't have
that bookmarked.

There, August 26th. That was the day I
did that guitar solo on stage.

Thought I sent you the link.

You did.

I remember because the day before I sent
you an email.

I attached photos, I told you everything
I did, everything Baba ate.

I even mentioned meeting an English boy
named Elliot.

All you sent me back was that single
link.

No hi, no how are you, no I miss you.

Just the link to some girl's blog.

I am a donkey.

Donkey with a sweet guitar solo, but
still a donkey.

So maybe it was because it was on top of
the Eiffel Tower under full moon in

Paris, but really it was because I've
never felt more alone in my life.

Michael Davies hotline.

I'm 18, but...

Diane speaking.

Andrew? Hi.

Of course we're still going out.

My mom will say anything to win a bet.

Okay. Okay, bye.

DJ, can I talk to you about something
personal?

Are you kidding me? I have heard enough
magazine stuff to last a lifetime.

Spill it, sister child.

Do people still say sister child?

Some people. Mainly people trying to
sound cool even though they're not. I

people like that.

They are so whack.

So, what up?

It's Wilder. I want him to kiss me and
he keeps saying I'm not ready.

I think that is so sweet.

Most boys would not be that considerate.
Then give me one of those boys because

I want to be kissed.

Amanda, if Wilder feels that you're not
ready, then maybe you're not. DJ, when I

asked you for advice, I wanted you to
tell Wilder you had a choice.

Kiss me or be fired.

I see a lot of lawsuits in that girl's
future.

Okay, people.

Ten seconds to the Justice Castle 2
preview. May I remind you, the only

want to hear are sighs of jealousy and
gasps of amazement.

In a world where terror reigns and
morality is burned to a crisp.

It's good to know we've got two cooks in
the kitchen.

Justice Casserole 2, Pass the Salt.

Starring Dex Cobra as the man who
brought hope to the world.

And introducing

Michael Daly.

As the son who cared too much.

Crime is the dish.

And I am the dishwasher.

Those are gas of amazement. Those are
gas of horror, confusion, and hilarity.

Mine was amazement that you got paid for
that.

I laughed, I cried, and now I'm on
casual.

You're my agent. How could this happen?

Oh.

I see.

Uh -huh.

Got it.

Apparently I didn't test well with young
audiences.

So to make my character funnier, they
made me sound like a chipmunk.

It is funny.

Shall we shred this together?

No.

I think I'll cry in it until it's
unreadable.

Get to the rooftop without me, hey.

You can see about that.

and I want to be kissed by you.

OMG.

And I wanted to kiss you too. I just
wanted to be perfect.

It's amazing.

Thank you, Alder.

So, uh, this is it?

I can't believe after I bailed on Mexico
to go to Paris, you still want to kiss

me.

Amanda, why did you have to say it out
loud?

What's wrong?

What's wrong?

You crushed my heart.

Saying it out loud just made it real.

I thought if I only thought happy
thoughts, enemy castles would go away,

won't.

Sorry, Amanda, but maybe one day I'll be
able to forgive you. But right now I

can't.

Daddy's assistant, Operation Guam is a
go. I repeat, Operation Guam is a go.

Bonjour, mademoiselle.

So you think wearing a cloth pancake
makes everything all right? That sounds

little more simplistic when you say it
out loud.

Let's just try it. Put it on, please.

See? We look great. I mean, most people
look like two bad mimes, but you and me

are, we look like a couple. A couple
where even though you kiss another boy,

the one who's apologizing. And I forgive
you.

Hugs.

You know the best part about us being
back together?

We get to have a cute couple name like
Roa.

That and now I don't have to worry about
you kissing another girl.

That still counts. I get to kiss another
girl.

What? It's the principle, Art. You're
lucky I'm not kissing two girls to make

for the one you planted on Wilder last
year.

I can't believe you want to kiss another
girl.

I don't want to. I have to.

You kissed another boy.

It was on top of the April Tower under
the full moon in Paris.

Yeah, you mentioned that about 30 times.

Roa is over.

Fine by me. And we were never Roa. We
were going to be Nabeca.

You know it's a bad day when even a
pancake hat can't make you smile.

Exactly.

Why won't that song leave me alone?

You have to admit, it is pretty catchy.

I hate to make my soup break.