All language subtitles for the_latest_buzz_s02e20_the_secrets_issue

Well, Weezy, are you going to break a
sweat typing?

I don't want work on my mind when I have
dinner with Dad and Baba.

I've done the who, what, where, and when
of this article.

All that's left is the why.

Like why aren't I invited to this
dinner?

No, more like why would you want to
watch Baba peel prawns?

Hey, Ru.

The all -you -can -eat shrimp special
ends in 20 minutes.

The last time we were late, Baba didn't
talk to me for a week.

Meet me at the car. I'm double parked.
I'll be right down.

Take it you haven't told your dad about
me yet. No, I've told him about you.

Whoa! Don't forget that coupon.

Already in my purse.

I just haven't quite told him about us.

Hang out with my friends, find out
what's new. Don't crash me on you, any

with you.

It's a whole...

all over are lining up to get one. Well,
not me. I'm rich.

So, what's your story pitch for the
product launch?

I'm giving a free lipstick to every
celebrity who tells me the story of

first kiss.

Piss and tell. Not bad.

Uh -uh. No story. No sticky.

Okay.

It was summer camp, and I was 13, and I
woke to the dulcet sound of a boy

serenading me outside my window.

He had Usher's voice and Usher's ass.

I leaned out and our lips met.

It'll take a lot of lipstick to cover up
that lie.

Fine. I was 17 and a boy in chemistry
class tripped and fell on my lips.

Now give me my lipstick of shame.

Wilder, who dares disturb an artist as
he creates the ultimate salami and

sandwich? A guy with a delivery from
South Salami that needs your signature

it? You're lucky. Meat delivery is the
only reason why I'll interrupt my art.

We signed your name as Wilder.

Haven't we met? I'm Wilder. I'm pretty
sure the company wants you to sign your

full name.

And I'm Cunning of Salami. Seems like
they're cool with it.

Is Wilder your first name or last name?
Yes. Real name or nickname?

Yes.

Fine. Keep it to yourself.

No big deal to me.

Couldn't care less.

I've already forgotten about it.

Glad to hear it.

I'm going to find out Wilder's real name
if it's the last thing I do.

I brought you back some shrimp.

No need. I'm already feeling pretty
small.

Papa Faith didn't let you take food
home.

You should see Baba's purse.

Moist towel left, ketchup packets,
Lindsay Butterscotch candy. Secret

I'm sorry I haven't told my dad, but I'm
a little girl.

I'm kind of chicken, which also is...
Available in Baba's purse.

Okay, I'll tell my dad.

Just give me some time to work up the
nerve.

Told my dad we high -fived.

These touched the winter butterscotch
candy, didn't they?

Got it, Karina. He was a lousy kisser,
you got angry, and dumped a smoothie on

him. And... Then your mom would give you
a time out.

How's it going in the world of kissing
up to celebrities?

My story is on celebrity first kisses.

Someone's kissing someone.

Good enough for me.

I'm just not sure how to end it.

I usually go with the end.

Sometimes I write I'm done, but that
hasn't caught on. Are you done? Maybe it

catching on.

How do I end the story part?

Easy. Write about your own first kiss.
People love that stuff.

Take mine, for example. I was at a local
skate park when a stranger from another

block skated in.

She was wearing a helmet with felt
beagle ears.

We were getting air in the half pipe. We
met in mid -flight and our lips locked.

I almost dropped my hamburger.

And then?

I ate the hamburger.

What was your first kiss like?

It was so perfect, I wouldn't know how
to describe it.

So much emotion.

I need time to figure out how to put it
into words.

No, wait, that's exactly how I felt.

That hamburger was good.

Get to class.

I'm expecting a paper from you, and be
nice to Michael Davies. I'll be working

for him someday.

Mr. Deedledork Disguise pays off again.

Flirting with the nine -year -old
receptionist was a little much, but I'm

mission.

Wilder, I got you. Your full name is
about to be revealed.

The contents of this file are for
Wilder's eyes only. This file was self

-destructed five, four, three, two, one.

is dance partner?

The best part about my birthday coming
first is that I get to see what you give

me. That way I know how much to spend on
you. Oh, is that how it works?

With my birthday being later, we'll have
been together longer and you'll have to

get me a better gift.

What are you doing here?

I didn't want you running out of fuel
while you were typing away.

I know how you sweat.

Here,

it's from Bubba's purse.

More linty goodness.

Oh, you hungry too, Spikey?

Ooh, someone has some admirers.

Big man on campus, huh?

Maybe I should spike my hair.

So, got any girlfriends?

A girlfriend, well... With everything
that's going on in the world. I'm sure

one ever even thinks about girls. What
with crime, pollution, and the rise of

censorship in the media, what are we as
citizens to do?

We can all speak up and tell the truth.

But seriously, Mr. Harper, apparently
I'm totally undateable.

Maybe it's the prickly hair.

It does look like a memo holder.

Nah. More like a porcupine.

Hey, cheer up, little guy.

Every porcupine has his day, huh?

Oh!

And did you end with the story of your
first kiss? Sure did.

I was standing in the rain, my clothes
drenched.

The fabric was dry clean only, but I
didn't care.

Suddenly, he appeared in front of me,
dangling upside down from a thin line of

web. From under his mask, I could see
his eyes.

Our lips met. And later, he saved New
York from Dr. Octopus. I've seen all the

Spider -Mans, Amanda.

Now, why would you use a story for your
first kiss that's obviously from a

famous movie?

I got it. I got it.

You're Kirsten Dunst.

Yes, that's it, Walder. You guessed it.

I am Kirsten Dunst.

Cool. Can I have your autograph?

Of course, Walder.

Wait a sec. You can't be Kirsten Dunst.

Kirsten Dunst doesn't know who I am.

Whoa.

You've never been kissed.

What? That's ridiculous.

All you should get from my story is that
the Spider -Man people stole my first

kiss.

Daddy's lawyers are going to have a
field day with this one.

I wish I had web shooters.

So, Rebecca, are we still

pretending not to go out so your dad
won't know? Sure, let's go with that.

Or you could go with the truth. That one
usually ends with your dad buying you

an ice cream cone.

Fine, I'll tell him when I get home.

Or you could call him from here. We have
phones in the office now. I could do

that, huh?

Yeah, you could.

And so I shall.

I just want to let you know that I'm
going out with Noah.

I've been for a while and... Stop asking
me that.

Because I don't care.

Because it doesn't matter to me.

Mr. Harper? No.

Michael.

No, I don't know Wilder's full name
either.

Michael's always been like a father to
me.

You know what?

You don't have to tell your dad about
us.

Thank you. Because I'll tell him over
dinner tomorrow night.

What? No, he's busy. He'll be free next
summer. We can do it then.

Noah! Noah!

Wilder, I kind of have a confession to
make. You know, about what we talked

about yesterday?

Yesterday?

So you admit you took my donut?

The other thing.

Oh, the part where you've never been
kicked? Kicked in the shin by a little

biscuit? No, that pony loves me dearly.

a reputation as a girl with admirers the
world over.

The truth would ruin me.

I know what you mean. People think I'm
this awesome thrill seeker who never

backs down from adventure.

And? And it's cool. Why would I have a
problem with that?

Just don't tell people I've never been
kissed, okay?

Your secret's safe.

I don't know why you're making such a
big deal out of this.

Lots of people our age haven't had their
first kiss.

Lots of people don't have magazine
columns where they falsely claim to be

authorities in both fashion and romance.

That's a good thing, too. You don't need
that kind of competition.

Here, you can practice by kissing my
sandwich.

It's not the same!

Not that I'd really know.

Of course you're still attractive.

Let the wild men make it better.

If this dinner with my dad is going to
work, nothing can be left to chance.

I've called the restaurant and asked
that they see you do so to my father so

that we have a perfect conversation
triangle.

I chose a shirt.

We can discuss that.

Make sure it's green and non
-threatening.

It's red and poses a serious threat to
the world as we know it. You think this

is funny?

Try laughing at these.

Study cards?

Nothing can be left to chance.

Especially not fun.

Learn them, know them, live them.

His favorite movie is High Noon.

His first pet was a dog named Skipper.

Only you would make someone study for a
date.

And only you would try to cheat.

To this, Wilder will be known by a new
name.

Guy who cannot wit Michael Davies.

Hello, Big Wilder. This is Boss McGoss
from the Afternoon Drive.

I've got some great news for you. Your
son Wilder's won a trip to Hawaii.

Why? Why? Why?

To collect his dream prize, all you have
to do is give me his full name.

What?

He's asked you to respect his privacy
and he's turning down the trip so he can

keep his full name a secret?

What's the name of someone foolish
enough to do that?

Hello?

Did you find an ending to your story
yet? Yes, I think I have it. Great,

hear it.

Journals, get in here!

What? I want you to pitch it to your
colleagues. Pitching stories is part of

being a good journalist. Besides, I'm
sure it's great.

Hey!

Go ahead, Amanda.

Okay.

I open with the sweet and awkward first
kiss story of Keira Knightley, Scarlett

Johansson, and Ashley Leggett.

Then I review the lipstick itself.

and then I ended by telling my story.

Oh, let's hear it, let's hear it.

I was in Paris for Fashion Week.

I was backstage when I noticed a Belgian
designer's son gazing lovingly at me,

as he should have been.

He strolled towards me and we looked
into each other's eyes.

And as he went to kiss me, I shook his
hand.

There you have it. The truth is, I've
never been kissed.

Unlike the masses, I appreciate the
surprise ending.

All my readers are going to think I'm a
fraud.

Your readers will be glad to hear
they're not alone.

Some girls rush into this stuff, and
before they know it, they've locked

with the clumsy kid in chemistry.

I'm a cautionary tale.

A cautionary tale who now has perfect
teeth.

Thanks, DJ.

You're welcome.

They are perfect, aren't they?

But there's more to life than eating
pickles right out of the jar while

High Noon.

What I really want to do is find a good
bowling team.

I don't know if I mentioned it, Mr.
Harper, but I average a 176.

Hey, not bad. I'm a 179.

See, Dad? A good bowler, but still
slightly less good than you. It's like a

dream come true.

Right? Honey, I'd say if the boy can
play the spoon, you two should marry.

Come to gloat that I couldn't figure out
what your full name is?

Gloating is really more your thing.

What a disgrace. The Gotham column is
everywhere.

We're not a group that disgraces easily.

This ought to cheer you up.

Tickets to filling on ice?

A copy of my birth certificate.

If it's so important that you know my
full name, it's right in there.

If you need to know, then I guess you
need to know.

It wasn't about me needing to know. It
was about me wanting to know because you

wouldn't tell me.

Wilder, if you're willing to sacrifice
the Wilder mystique, then I'm willing.

your buddy, I'll let you keep it.

Why are you tearing up my birth
certificate?

I thought it was a copy. It is. My only
copy.

I kind of want a driver's license one
day.

You know, you'll have to give your full
name in order to get one.

Yes, but it will allow me to drive a
car.

A car, though, making popular with the
ladies.

I call shotgun.

She'll be coming around the mountain
when she comes. When she comes. She'll

coming around the mountain when she
comes. When she comes. She'll be coming

around the mountain. She'll be coming
around the mountain. She'll be coming

around the mountain when she comes. When
she comes.

Yes, sirree, Bob.

Hey, do you know Camp Dad Races?

I can't do this anymore.

I'm sorry, Mr. Harper, but I don't have
a dog.

My bowling high score is 26, and
everything I know about high noon I read

online.

This whole night was about me trying to
impress you, so then you'd let me go out

with your daughter.

What I'm trying to say is the

only thing we have in common is we both
care about Rebecca.

Why didn't you tell me, Rue? I mean, I
wouldn't have been mad at you.

I guess you are old enough to have a
boyfriend.

Now, uh, if you'll excuse me, the shrimp
is kind

of repeating on me.

Nasty.

Well, uh, that went pretty well.

I know. I was so sure that my dad
wouldn't even like you.

I get it.

This wasn't about your dad finding out
you had a boyfriend.

This was about your dad finding out it
was me.

No. I gotta go.

Go what?

Nice work on the kissing article,
Amanda.

It inspired me to make this little
coupon for you.

Good for one first kiss with Wilder.

Someone thinks highly of himself.

You're going to have a first kiss
sometime, and when you do, I want to be

And by that, I don't mean watching as
you kiss someone else.

What do you think?

I don't know. This is all so new to me.

Well, a first kiss isn't something you
just jump into. Not that. I've never

a coupon before.

There's no expiration date.

Is there usually?

Not in a case like this.

Save her when you're ready. I've got
nothing but time. And a coupon -making

stencil.

Don't you kids ever mope at home?

May I?

Yeah.

Hey, don't be too mad at Rebecca for
what she blurted out.

Truth is, she had every reason to be
concerned.

So you don't like me?

I didn't say that.

She had no idea how I'd react to the
idea of her dating anyone.

The fact is, underneath this adorable
exterior, I'm pretty strict.

It's not easy being the dad of a teenage
daughter.

I'm just kind of learning as I go.

You're doing a pretty good job.

Would you tell me if I wasn't?
Absolutely not.

I like your honesty.

And while we're being so honest, I think
you're all right.

Hey, if my daughter's going to date
someone, I guess we're both lucky it's

But don't ever invite us out for dinner
and stick me with a check again.

That really hurt me where I live.

Never again, I promise.

Okay. Good night. Good night.

You have half an hour until curfew.

Or I'll come back with spiky hair.

Good thing we only have to go through
that once, huh?

You think my dad's bad? Wait until you
meet Baba.

She's one tough cookie.

That's why I'll need a little
preparation.

Baba's study cards.

Okay. Baba's purse is 10 by 18 and holds
over two times.

Her favorite musical style is quiet.

Her favorite TV show is more social.

You know, a man makes many sacrifices in
the name of friendship.

Could have known Wilder's full name, but
in the end, I give up my dreams so his

could live on.

Or he could have been like the rest of
us and never cared at all.

Ah, Noah.

Dear simple Noah, this was an act of
kindness, an act of compassion.

It's becoming an act of annoyance.

Call it what you will, but in the end, I
believe the moral of the story is that

I'm above it all.

Hey, Wilder, this coupon thingy, your
full name's right here in fine print.

I guess I don't mind if one person knows
my little secret.

That one person could have been me. Give
me that thing I need to know. I'll

never tell, never.

Look at that, you'll never ride shotgun
in my future car.

Okay.