All language subtitles for the_latest_buzz_s02e19_the_pet_peeves_issue

Oh, I'm parched. Can I scan a sip?

Guess so.

Why don't you just keep it?

Sweet.

What you doing?

Does it look like I'm doing?

Designing escape pods for when aliens
attack?

No, I'm writing my article.

Oh, I may be the only person left after
the alien invasion.

What's your article about?

Pet peeves. You name your dog Peeves?

It's not about a pet named Peeves. It's
about pet peeves. You know, minor

annoyances that bother people.

So, you hate your new dog.

I don't have a new dog.

Then what's your article about?

Pet peeves. Little things that people
find annoying. Like when someone lies

about having a new dog.

I can't wait to get out and hang out
with my friends, find out what's new,

subscribe to OnHoo, and who's that from
a shoe.

It's a whole new week with my pages of
my magazine.

I'm going to be the greatest story I've
ever written. Is it called How to Stay

Humble?

I'm celebrity pet peeves.

Just needs a little oomph. I want to add
a couple pet peeves that people have

about me.

A personal touch. Great idea.

So hit me with your best shot.

Oh, no. What do I have? Fucker written
on my forehead?

No, not anymore.

Never fall asleep in class next to Noah
and a marker.

Come on, just the couple to get me
started.

No, you're going to get mad.

I promise I won't.

Okay, but you promised.

Sometimes, and it's not that bad, you
chew your pen and it gets a wee bit

slobbery.

Okay, sure, great.

Anything else?

I don't like it when you name drop.

Oh, really?

That's funny because Mike Myers didn't
mention it to me or Queen Latifah when

had coffee at Ashton's new restaurant.

Well then, my mistake.

You can't do this! It's not fair!

Amanda, is everything okay?

I'm having an early life crisis.

So I might need the day off to reflect
on my emotions.

Is this still about the shoes not
matching the purse incident?

We're... Daddy's taking...

too old for a pony, so he's giving
Biscuit away to a petting zoo.

So we'll never get to see him again
ever, ever. Okay, honey, I know this is

for you, but do you think you might be
overreacting just a bit?

Oh, sure.

What if it was you who was losing her
pony?

Well, after I got over the shock that I
had a pony, I guess I would find time to

spend with her while I could.

Great. So can I go home?

Fine. Giddy up home.

Don't worry, little biscuit.

Mommy's on her way.

This is going to be amazing.

Now all I need is a pickle, some
parsley,

and the perfect mountain of ketchup.

Now that's what I call... The perfect
grilled cheese sandwich.

Can I steal a piece?

Sure, why don't you, right in front of
me, steal a piece of the meal I took

painstaking measures to get just right
for me to eat. Sweet.

Thanks, bub.

Am I the only guy who gets sarcasm?

Not that you didn't do a fabulous job
pointing out my flaws yesterday.

I still need one more pet peeve, so I
have three for my article.

You know, I'm really happy you keep me
in open mind about this.

As I get older, I get more charming and
get more mature.

All right, well, um, there's this weird
humming noise you do when you're trying

to concentrate, and it's so annoying.

Super.

Good to know. Thanks.

Oh, that reminds me. You say... You burp
a lot. Oh, and then there's that weird

pant shuffling thing you do when you
walk.

Pant shuffling?

Ever heard of breaking in a new pair of
cords?

I was just giving you pet peeves like
you asked.

I only asked for one more.

Just so you don't feel left out, why
don't I do one for you?

Bring it on.

I can take it.

I don't like how you're always
correcting my grammar. I mean, what do

to be the grammar police for?

So people don't end their sentences in
prepositions. Ooh, nice catch.

Oh, come on, Michael. I was kidding.

It's another pet peeve. You're always
making stupid jokes.

I think it's time you realize that
you're just not that funny.

I'm not funny.

I'm a funny horse.

You hear that?

The unmistakable sound that greets all
your jokes.

on macaroni?

Why did I let Wilder build the world's
largest edible half -pipe?

Good boy.

If there's a pony in the world who's
better at hiding, I haven't met him yet.

Now, let's get you into the storage
closet.

I get this handle fixed. There is no way
it should take me this long to get out

of my office.

Maybe if I cut down on our pasta budget,
we'd have some petty cash available for

repair now.

Too close.

Sneaking a pony into work shouldn't be
this hard.

Although, hiding it from DJ probably
shouldn't be this easy.

Now, I have to get to school. Now, you
stay in the storage closet and listen if

anyone says mean things about me when
I'm gone.

When I get back, I'll braid your mane.

Michael's being unreasonable.

He asked me to give him some pep tea. He
begged me. He promised he wouldn't get

mad. Then what happened?

He got mad.

You know what bugs me?

Wilder. He's always taking my food.

My other pep tea is people who don't
listen.

It wouldn't be so bad. It's just
everything's a scam.

Can I scam a piece? Can I... Scam some
chips? Can I scam some ham?

What scam? You're just taking a bite.
That's the worst scam I've ever heard.

Is this a language problem for you? Yes.

Why don't you tell Wilder that he can't
have any of your food?

Too easy. I've got a plan.

These fries are drenched in vinegar.
Wilder hates vinegar and all -face

puckering food.

Checkmate.

Oh, can I scam a fry?

Sure, as long as you're cool with
vinegar.

Oh, no, I hate vinegar.

Oh, that's too bad.

Looks like you won't like these fries.

Don't worry. For you, I'll make an
exception.

Not bad.

And the worst part is, I hate vinegar.

Daddy's assistant, I'll need two more
barrels of hay and two dozen carrots.

And don't let Daddy see you sneaking
them out.

This is why little Biscuit always had
his own stable.

Always have to be first out of the
elevator.

Gag, what is that smell?

Oh, Wilder. It wasn't me this time. This
is too much even for you.

Actually, it's me.

It's my new ode to toilette.

They went kind of literal with this one.

What's with the oats on your desk?

Um, it's my new diet. It's called eating
like a horse.

Nice. Can I get an oat?

This is too much. We need to open up a
window. Strike that. We need to knock

down some walls.

Don't worry. I have one last can of
stink away in the closet left over from

Tortilla Tuesday.

The closet?

You don't even know where it is.

I insist.

After all, I'm the one who snuck up the
office.

On the shelf. Right beside the... I

didn't

know about the humming thing. I'll try
to stop.

And I don't really mind the name
dropping.

I just read it because I wanted to help
with the article.

I know. Don't worry. It's fine.

Friends again?

Absolutely. You and me are going to be
friends forever.

Actually, it's B. You and I are going to
be friends forever.

Ooh, nice catch.

Better yet, friends for never. You just
had to correct my grammar.

You didn't seem to mind when I proofed
your entrance essay, and thank goodness

for that.

What's that supposed to mean?

Well, let's face it. You wouldn't have
been accepted without my help.

That's not a pet peeve. That's more of a
heart -wrenching, soul -destroying,

self -esteem -ripping observation.

Whoa.

I had the horsey dream again, just like
when I was five.

Oh, horsey. That sounds scary, but also
like something you shouldn't worry

about.

Or talk about.

Big horsey lips, horsey ears, and the
glippity -glop glipping up. Shh.

It's all over now.

Amanda, I have bad news.

Petting someone's face isn't soothing.

Your dad called, and your pony's
disappeared.

OMG, that is super, super shocking.

Wow. I have a dream about a pony and
your pony goes missing?

Spooky. Amanda, this isn't serious. The
police have been involved.

Can someone pet my face?

Anything to soothe a broken heart.

Michael, I...

to apologize.

I feel like the bad witch in Good Witch
Bad Witch when she loses all of her

friends. Michael, I'm sorry.

It just slipped out.

Slipped out?

You know what slips out? Me saying, your
breath stinks, but that shirt's ugly.

You know what doesn't slip out?

Me saying, there's a part of me that
didn't want you to get into buzz.

Oops. I'm sorry. I guess stuff like that
does slip out.

Wow.

I'm...

I'm sorry, Rebecca. I didn't mean it.

Yes, you did.

Because I felt the same way about you.

Fantastic. That'd be really fantastic.

You doing a jazz run out of here because
I want you gone. And a jazz run because

I want to be entertained.

Oh, I'll be gone. But I won't be jazz
running. I'll be marching.

I love burritos. I love burritos. I love
them in the morning. I love them in the

night.

Wild man.

Looks like you put a lot of work into
that.

Can I scam a bite?

For sure. Anytime.

What do you think, dude?

Wow. That is garlicky.

Yeah, garlic's the first ingredient.

And the second.

Mmm. Yeah.

Can I have another bite?

For sure, hombre.

You like the salsa, huh? I make it
myself out of pepper and marmalade.

That's really good.

One more bite.

My burrito is your burrito.

It's so spicy.

So spicy.

Oh, can I scan a breath mint?

Speaking of horses, I have bad news. The
police have uncovered an illegal pony

smuggling ring.

Is that worse than a legal pony
smuggling ring?

Way worse. Your dad is funding the
rescue operation.

He's calling it Operation Find That
Pony.

Wouldn't it be better to let the
criminals learn their lesson by having

with a stubborn pet pony?

You really don't get how policing works,
do you?

That was me.

I'm super allergic to everything.

Ability to sneeze like a human?

DJ, is there any way you could be a
super great boss and picking up some

pills at the store? Oh, I have some in
my office.

I have a particular kind.

Oh, right.

Truffled flavored?

Little biscuit?

I should have called you Big Biscuit.

it's called the internet is really
interesting because... Does it have

to do with the fact that Michael's
always licking his fingers before he

the page?

Or related to Rebecca not knowing how to
wink? Or she won't stop talking about

Jeff Morneau no matter how many times
you roll your eyes? Hey, guys, do you

think it might be possible for me to
finish the lesson?

Not if I didn't have a lot of page
turning.

Or winking.

As I was saying, the internet is really
interesting.

You like that? You know what I'd like,
Michael?

If you paid attention.

Am I doing this right?

Enough!

That's it.

You two, detention tonight.

Oh, dear.

No sign of Walder.

No smell of Walder.

Perfect.

Dude, can I steal a pretzel? Whoa,
where'd you come from?

Well, I started out at home.

Then after breakfast, I hopped into the
bus. You should know you were there.

Then I went to several classes where I
learned a few things between daydreams.

Then I saw you down this hall about to
eat a pretzel, and then I saw... Wilder,

enough! Okay, but can I scam a pretzel?

No. If you want a pretzel, just ask.
Don't scam, don't snag, don't weasel.

ask. I can manage that.

You should have said something way
earlier.

Well, I kind of did, in a nonverbal kind
of way.

Sorry, dude.

Look, it's fine, just...

I have to, you know, ask.

That's it? That's it.

Noah, dear friend, gentleman, and all
-around hero, might I trouble you for a

pretzel?

There. Is that so hard?

Not really.

Still bugs me.

Amanda, great news on the pony
situation.

He might not have been stolen.

He's part Ukrainian stepping horse, you
know. Maybe he went back to Ukraine.

No. The music industry is getting behind
this. Shania Twain, Michael Bublé, and

Stompin' Tom have volunteered to record
a song called Come Home Little Biscuit.

I can't do this anymore.

I've been hiding him. I had no choice.
My dad was going to take him away.

Did I say?

Except that I knew this whole time.

You knew?

Well, the whole office smelled like
hanging dung. If my brain didn't figure

out, my nose sure would have.

So, Operation Find That Pony and Come
Home Little Biscuit Song?

I made them up.

Do you honestly think that we could have
got those amazing artists to record a

song about your pony?

They're wonderful people, but they have
bigger causes to worry about.

Amanda. This whole episode was
incredibly, incredibly immature.

I know.

Which, bizarrely, has led your father to
believe that you're immature enough to

still have the pony.

I totally am!

Okay, but he can't stay here.

Back to the stables for Mr. Biscuit.
Little Biscuit.

Disappearing Biscuit. Shoot.

detention's like.

I feel shame and it hasn't even started
yet.

What do you think Mr. Shepard called?

I don't know.

Maybe some kind of detention specialist
trained in making bad kids good.

Or Dr. Phil.

Hey!

Dad? Mr. Harper?

Mr. Shepard told me you guys were having
a little bad mood -a -thon, so I

dropped my jackhammer and came to help.

Now,

I know you guys think you'll never be
friends again, but this isn't the first

time you've fought.

This time's different.

Really?

Remember the time you got so angry at
Michael because he drank all that

when you opened up that lemonade stand?

I was your number one customer.

Who didn't pay.

I never even got to use my cash
register.

And how about the time you ruined
Michael's birthday by baking the cake

yourself? Yeah.

People weren't only big fans of my
pineapple and corn upside -down cake.

No matter what the fight, You guys
always seem to find a way to patch

So, how do you think we're going to
patch things up this time?

I don't know.

It's kind of hard to think with your
dad's head hovering three inches from my

face.

Hey, what about the time we caught him
playing the harmonica through his nose?

That was for the company picnic.

The same picnic where you wore short
sandals and brown socks?

When I said you'd find a way to patch
things up, I didn't mean by turning it

me.

Do you want to see me cry? I'm not
afraid of crying in front of you.

How could I not want you at Buzz?

Who's more funner than me?

Actually, nobody's funner than you.

No, this whole gaming thing got out of
control, so I wrote a no -mooching

contract between us. That sounds
impossible.

Oh, it's possible. I just need your
signature and it's official.

I never imagined you as the legal type,
but sure.

You know, this can really turn over a
new leaf for our friendship.

Oh, yeah, please.

Here we go.

Now that's a scam.