Original subtitles

Final question.

If anyone left the band, would you call yourselves Maroon 4?

I see.

I won't be quoting you on that.

Has DJ left for her conference yet?

Yes, and she looked adorable.

She had the cutest turned -edge leather -bound three -ring binder a girl's ever

seen. Maybe one day you'll have a conference binder of your own. A girl

dream.

Why would head office send DJ away the day before Sherry Overwood's

Sherry Overwood!

I should give those guys a piece of my mind. Do it. Some corporate lackeys in

there right now.

He's about to regret he ever set foot in this place.

Listen, bub.

Sherry Overwood's performing here tomorrow, and DJ should be here to help,

some corporate clown.

Oh, really?

Except for maybe you, Daddy.

I can't wait to get out and hang out with my friends and find out what's new.

Who's crashing on who?

And who's that room with who?

It's a whole new thing.

Tomorrow night's concert is big.

With DJ gone, who better to be Miss Overwood's liaison than me?

A liaison?

Ew, that sounds like some sort of foot infection.

No, honeybee.

A liaison makes sure a star gets everything they need.

Let me do that! I know all about getting everything I need.

Now this is someone else getting what they need. Please, I promise I can

this. Oh, very well. Just don't go overboard with excitement.

Thank you, Daddy.

You're welcome, baby.

Ernie C. High needs a couple of good men.

Shaggy -haired men.

Well -dressed men.

And you want us to help you find these men?

I'm on it.

No. What we need is good men to stop a spitballer from firing phlegm -filled

gobs of goo.

Ew.

Ew, indeed.

Four hall monitors quit this week because of this guy.

I want to know who's in.

This school has seen its last ball of spit.

Hooligans, gobs of goo.

I'm still not seeing the perks, Mr. Shepard.

Oh, sick.

I'm in.

Want me to edit your Maroon 5 article?

As long as I get to edit your little snack.

What's wrong with it? Where to begin, R?

Hmm.

It's the same color as the plate.

White is not a flavor. It's healthy. It's lame. Enjoy what you eat. Then you

must have had jerk chicken for lunch.

Oh, snap.

Let's say we spice things up a bit, huh?

The guy on the bottle has fire coming out of his eyes. Come on, R. You'll love

it.

Here comes the choo -choo train down the track.

Chugga -chugga -chugga -whoa -whoa.

Huh? Huh?

Not bad.

A little spicy, but... Noah,

you made me get the hiccups.

It's not my fault you caved to peer pressure.

Look at you.

When I was your age, I ran a lemonade stand.

Of course, I then organized a house to take over of all the other stands and...

Opened a small lemonade plant.

Which eventually became Pierce's Sour Pucker Lemonade and Lemon Related

Products, Inc. Go get them, honey bee.

Amanda Pierce at your service. You've got a full schedule ahead.

Hair, makeup, photo shoot, judging a pig race, tutoring.

I'm judging a pig race?

It's great exposure.

People love pigs.

Then it's dinner and a radio interview.

Aw, shoot.

That's another meal I gotta eat in the car. Just a sec.

Hello, Burger Barn? Amanda Pierce here. I need you to shut down the restaurant

for a couple hours.

Trust me, it'll be worth it.

Finally, a liaison who gets me.

Call me if you need anything.

24 hours a day, I'll be there for you.

Think of me as your right -hand gal. Thanks, doll. So, this Burger Barn, does

have curly fries?

Oh, yeah.

32?

We've located the perpetrator. Over.

Perpetrator? What did I do?

Noise pollution.

Disturbance to the peace.

Frog noises. Care to explain?

I have the hiccups. Is that so, little lady?

Proclaims to have the hiccups.

What are you writing?

Stop writing! I'm gonna have to ask you to calm down, man.

Monitor's under fire! I repeat, monitor's under fire!

Confirm visual on the spitballer. I'm in pursuit!

As my partner pursues the guy with the golden goober, I ask myself, Wilder, why

are you still writing?

Think Polly Wolly doodle while hula hooping. Your hiccups will be gone in a

jiff.

Come here, you gobblobber.

Don't turn around.

Do what you always do when you're scared.

Think of your favorite song from Good Witch, Bad Witch.

There's nothing to be afraid of. I've got a straw packed with spittle pointed

right at your back.

You're going down, dude.

Please don't hurt me, please!

Dude!

I had him, but I chickened out.

Aw, it's okay.

It's hard out here for a wimp.

wrong table you want the one where i'm not sitting amanda it's me sherry

overwood omg sherry but you're supposed to be at a pig race honey please i need

your help i'm tired i just need to get away but i've got school just one

afternoon i want to be normal singing in front of thousands of people gets me a

bit much sometimes i know what you mean i knew you would you're my right hand

gal

You told me to do this.

It's useless.

Scare me, that'll work.

Thought you'd never ask.

By the time we graduate, all jobs will be done by chimps.

And all movies will star evil clowns.

Thanks a lot, smart.

We're just in time for your press conference. Quick, what's our story?

story is you both spent the afternoon goofing off.

Miss Overwood, you can go get ready for your press conference.

Your little stunt had everyone worried sick.

Not to mention the fact you skipped school.

I was just trying to be a good liaison.

A good liaison would have made sure she got you the pig race on time.

When I was your age.

I had to babysit two younger brothers, a little sister, a cat, and a goldfish.

What did I do?

Started a neighborhood babysitting service known today as Need a Nanny Now.

Sorry to disappoint you.

Again.

Tough day out

there today, boys.

I hear you, boss man.

Just a few first -inch hitters already behind me. He got to you, Michael.

I'm going to have to put you on desk duty until further notice.

Desk duty?

Yes. You cannot put this on desk duty.

Those halls need me.

And I'm going to need you to turn over your shades.

Not my shades.

Oh, yes, the shades.

Somebody else needs them now.

Wilder, I want you to meet your new partner.

Manicotti!

I want you to work in the band recital tonight.

10 -4.

All right, that's all.

Hey.

Let's be careful out there.

Yeah, cheer up on desk duty.

How could a lizard who shoots gas out of its skull possibly cheer me up?

Oh, I still have...

How

much trouble did you get in?

I got the title of my next single, Grounded Till the Cows Come Home.

I'd download that.

Can I have your attention, please?

And now, on behalf of Teen Buzz, I'd like to thank you all for coming.

Gargling with pickle juice to get rid of those.

And now, for the one you've all been waiting for, Miss Sherry Overwood.

Thanks for coming, y 'all.

I'm real sorry for causing any alarm with my disappearance.

But my time with Amanda Pierce... has shown me how fun regular laugh can be.

So, I'm announcing my retirement from the music world.

Any questions?

She needed a friend, Daddy, and I

always thought it was important to help people in need, especially if they're

famous.

I'll have to tell tonight's audience why they don't get to see Sherry perform,

tonight or ever.

No, you won't.

This is my fault.

I said I could handle this, and I'm not going to let you down, Daddy.

Try to impress your dad?

Freak him out.

Make a new friend?

Ruin her life?

Why do people even try?

A desk job?

Fume.

A desk job's cool.

You get to sit and work at a desk.

There's paper, sometimes pen.

Mr. Shepard doesn't know what he's talking about.

Dude, you kind of choked out there.

I think Mr. S is right.

But I'm not scared.

Sorry,

dude.

It's just a straw. Who cares?

Really sorry.

Should have walked over and put it in the garbage.

No, Peggy. Couldn't care less.

pickle juice just makes you never want to eat pickles again have you tried the

old foot in the ear trick this isn't a sunday night dinner at your house i

started this so i'll end it take a deep breath hold it

hold it now let out the loudest belts you possibly can burp like you've never

burped before the hiccups won't know what hit them

No, look. Kid over there has a crush on you.

Aw, love at first burp.

Death job.

I'd be walking the beat with Wilder if my screaming terror hadn't gotten in the

way.

Evidence.

Let's see.

Old straws.

Shepherd's old donut.

Spitballs at Mr.

Mark.

Death! How could I have been so blind?

Next question.

Why am I touching another guy's spit?

Ew!

Davies to Wilder, come in.

I repeat.

Davies the Wilder, come in.

Davies the Shepherd, the spitballer's in the building.

I repeat, the spitballer's in the building.

Excuse me, coming through. This is an emergency.

What? My hair? I like it too.

Time for another gal's night out?

No.

There'll be no more girls' nights out.

For you or for me.

But we all had fun this afternoon.

That doesn't mean y 'all should give up your career.

You know when you told me about singing in front of thousands of people, and I

said, you know what you mean?

I don't.

Ever since I was a little girl, I've dreamed of doing what you do. Yeah, but

one day at the mall worth losing all that?

If it is, then let's go get some size 6 Figueroos.

I'm a 7.

They'd be for me.

If that's not what you want, I know where there's a bunch of people just

to hear you sing.

See? That's why you're my right -hand gal.

They're going down, Dave.

He got you, Michael.

Dude, you kind of choked up there.

Hey, how did you find your head?

Which witch should I be? Which witch is really me? You got to.

Dude, you kind of choked out there.

Which witch would I be? No!

It's time to save Wilder.

When I get my hands on him, that spitball is going to pay.

Look!

We're close.

Dude?

Why are you aiming a straw at me and looking all threatening?

Walter, look out!

No!

No!

Just a spitball. I'll be fine.

Of course, I'll have to burn this tie now.

That spitball was meant for me.

Somewhere. There's a spitball with all our names on it.

Sounded gigantic.

How'd you know it was Manicotti? The spitballs were made from pages of his

lizard comic book.

You caught him? Yes, I did, and all thanks to Michael's brilliant desk work.

Why, Manicotti, why?

I'll tell you why.

Because he was angry.

Angry at the hall monitors, always telling him what to do.

Don't litter, don't run, don't put chewed gum on the drinking fountains.

He joined our ranks just so he could bring us down.

But we're not going anywhere.

I would have gotten away with it if it hadn't been for you.

Davies, you did good.

Lostruck.

I'm proud of you, honeybee.

When I was a young man working at a record label, I had to convince a rock

to return to the stage.

And you succeeded brilliantly?

Nope. The rock band walked out, and I had to sing instead.

There's a reason I'm not a rock star.

You've got to help me.

Okay, R, I've got one last trick.

It's purely experimental, but it might work.

You up for it?

Yes. Remember, it's experimental.

Just do it. I whole -hooped, I belched, I gurgled pickle juice, I...

My

hiccup.

They're gone.

You just kissed me.

What did we miss?

Noah got rid of my hiccup.

if it weren't for Amanda, and I happen to know she's one heck of a singer. So

give it up for the fierce Miss Pierce.

Thanks, Sherry, and thanks, Daddy. This one's for you.

Gotta make you mine.

Could you be the one for me? The one who makes my dreams come true.

You're my prince charming.

I will be the one for you. We'll make this fairy tale come true.

Just an experiment to cure the hiccups?

No, it was the allure of pickle breath.

I thought I made that part clear.

You did. You did. But I was doing a little bit of reading about hiccups. Of

course you were.

And they aren't just caused by spicy foods.

They start if you're nervous, like over a test or a deadline, or if you lied

about a kiss.

So you better be telling the truth or you might get the hiccup.

R, why would I lie?

I only kissed you to cure the hiccups.

Okay.

Just making sure.