All language subtitles for the_latest_buzz_s01e07_the_cheerleading_issue

That gets my favorite part of these
meetings.

You guys come up with fake excuses for
why your stories will be late.

If you recall, Michael was last week's
winner with Hillary Duff ate my article.

DJ, I'll need a few more hours to double
-check my sources.

You profiled yourself.

What's there to double -check?

Yes! Mr. Shepard says we should always
double -check our sources. And do you

always listen to everything that Mr.
Shepard says?

Yes. Yeah, pretty much.

Okay, I know you guys think that Mr.
Shepard is all that and a bag of chips,

he's not that cool, is he? He's cool
enough to never say all that and a bag

chips.

Well, it so happens that your cool Mr.
Shepard was once a member of the school

spirit squad.

No way, DJ.

Not our Mr. S. Oh, yeah?

Wait here.

You know, I'd be a great cheerleader.

Cute skirts, spelling stuff out loud.

Breaking into scissor kicks at any given
moment.

Noah, welder, spot me.

One, two, three. Spot the pep squad,
pipsqueak. Hey!

Go team!

We're sitting in class, watching the
time pass. Can't wait to get out.

It's a whole new thing.

uncomfortable.

Can I put my stuff in your locker for a
week?

What happened to your locker?

The Terminator blamed on an old corndog
and an army of ants.

So can I be a locker mate?

Okay, but it's only temporary.

You already moved in?

How'd you get my combination?

A little advice.

Never write your combo on your notebook.
Some snoopy dude might see it, write it

down. And move in.

Later, locker buddy.

Temporary locker buddy.

What's with the utensils?

I hate getting crumbs on my fingers.

Reminds me of that time I played in the
sandbox.

What in the little house on the prairie
do you have on?

I have to wear this skirt because I
sprained my ankle when I fell.

And what, is your wheelchair hidden
underneath it?

No, but until my ankle's healed, the
doctor's making me wear sensible

Ah, Frankenstein boots!

I know, it's like you can see the bolts
in my neck.

That's why yeths were never ever to tell
anyone this dark, dark secret.

You're asking a goth apologist to keep a
secret?

Nobody's asking.

Fine, fine, I won't say anything.

You are one odd little girl.

Says the boy eating his muffin with a
fork and knife.

And sometimes there's only one way to
get the story, experiencing it

Going undercover demands a careful
strategy, hidden technology, and an

compass.

Man, I wish some of you could experience
it.

Is there something I should know about?

Yes, DJ told you about my days on the
spirit squad. Not so much told as

ridiculed.

You should know that I love being on the
squad.

In fact, I still get together with my
teammates.

And make human pyramids?

Mock me if you want.

Thanks. What exactly was it that made
you join the stirrup pants of the

megaphone?

Good one.

Let's leave it at that. Joke over. Now.

Yeah, guys, be nice, or Mr. Shepard will
toss you over his head.

Then spin you around and do the splits.
Go, fight, win!

That's it?

I said it was over, but you two just had
to keep on going.

Now, it's time to face the music.

What do you have to say for yourself?

F -O -R -R -Y?

And then the teacher says to the horse,
so why the long face?

And it's funny because horses don't go
to school.

You want to tell me what's going on?

Noah, these are my dudes.

Dude, this is my locker mate, Noah.

Photo op.

I want them out of here.

You heard me get.

Don't make me call your parents.

Dude, what's the problem, dude?

First off, You started and ended a
sentence with dude.

And who has a party at a locker?

I do.

That's why you're yelling at me.

Wait.

Where are my brownies?

That was my after -school snack.

We ate them.

Delicious. Props to your mom.

I made a cheese ball, but somehow
misplaced it. How do you misplace a

ball?

I'm in the middle of moving, remember?

Making us go undercover is cheerleaders'
most creative punishment ever.

Eight years of fake Zed notes and here I
stand in ill -fitting gym garb.

We should ask DJ to get us out of this.

I already did.

Now I'm reporting on it for Buzz.

I hate cheerleaders. They're mean,
snobby, and not that bright.

Where'd you get that from?

TV.

I just finished a calculus workshop.

Yay, differentiable functions!

I have her trusting TV stereotypes
again.

Okie dokie. First off, we want to get to
know you guys. So, who's up for a

little personality test?

I am. Sounds fun.

Is it okay if I cheat off her test? I
didn't study.

Not off to a good start, am I?

You really think you can get me back,
Shepard? I was editor of the yearbook

years running.

Trust me, there are no embarrassing
photos of me to be found.

None. How do you like them? Pom -poms.

What's with the granny blanket, Amanda?

Just come from a craft sale?

LOL. I know it looks funny, but as
you'll see in my cool or not cool

granny blankets are all the rage.

What's going on?

Fine.

for the freak with awful shoes.

Everybody else is.

Amanda, they're not that bad. You're
just saying that to make me feel better.

Like when I tell Rebecca that she...
Okay, I've never tried to make her feel

better, but you get my point.

Let me tell you a little story about a
supermodel named Karina.

You mean five -time winner of the blank
stairboard and inventor of the pony step

runway walk, Karina?

One and the same.

Picture it.

Pamplona Spain, the day before the
Simshu show, Karina decides to do the

of the bulls. She was sure she could
outrun a herd of bovine fury.

Did she?

She broke an ankle, cracked a rib, and
got gored in the left cheek.

No way. What did she do?

What do you think she did? She did the
catwalk with her cast, bandages, and

She was sensational.

Then I'm going to be...

Extra sensational.

That never happened, did it?

You want true stories? Go to Shepard. I
got a magazine to run.

Cheese ball, anyone?

My biggest inspiration?

I'd have to go with Thomas Edison.

Because he was an amazing inventor?

No. Because the man could pull off a bow
tie.

I see.

Rebecca picked her mom and broadcaster
Barbara Frum.

Anyway, why don't you guys limber up and
get ready for the tryout?

I can't believe it, but I'm actually
having fun.

I know. I'm going to like being on the
squad.

Michael, you haven't made the team yet.
I've got a better chance than you.

As they say in the cheerleading world,
bring it on.

You can't snap, can you?

No.

The two of you stand before me, but I
only have one pom -pom in my hand.

The name of the person who will hold
that pom -pom as the injury replacement

the alternate, and then only at home
games of sports that are poorly

is... I'd like to thank my five sisters
for teaching me how to jazz walk before

I could run.

Rebecca Harper!

You're not going to do this without me,
are you?

I think it'll be fun.

Are you kidding me?

This girl has all the grace of a giraffe
on a skateboard.

And it's that kind of attitude that
costs you the spot on the team, Michael.

You may have a cheerleader's mood, but
you do not have a cheerleader's

TV never lies.

I didn't know our school even had a

bocce team. A winning bocce team. And
good for you for having watched me with

bocce on the last cheer. You're natural.

Hi, Michael.

It's Harper.

I'll catch up with you guys at lunch.
Cool. We can work on our strategy for

car wash.

Car wash strategy?

What's there to figure out?

No, no, I said start first, then rinse.

Now, we'll never raise the money for the
scoreboard.

I know you're upset, Michael.

I'm not upset. What makes you think I'm
upset?

You're eating your muffin with your
hands.

It's like you've given up.

That's what happens when you've been
kicked in the heart with white sneakers.

Why can't you just be happy for me? I am
happy. So happy that I want to do a

cartwheel.

Oh, wait, I can't.

I'm not in a cheerleading squad.

You know, saying things like that is the
reason you didn't make the squad.

People sometimes get tired of your
little jokes.

Do you?

Look, we're still best friends, but it
is nice to hang with people who are a

little more positive sometimes.

Besides, I do have a story to get for
Buzz.

Yeah, well, I got your headline.

Girl abandons best friend.

Oh, dear.

This can't be good.

It's all good. Come on, open it up.

Let me guess, you washed your hands and
the combination came off.

Dude, seriously?

Just open it, dude.

I gotcha good.

Uh, I don't feel gotten or good.

Explain. I totally cleaned up your
locker.

Oh, yeah.

Cool. Thanks a lot.

Wait.

Oh, man.

Please, no.

Dude, dude, you're messing things up.

Didn't you see a piece of paper with my
handwriting on it?

Yep. I threw it out.

Why? Why would you do that?

Because you wrote garbage on it.

That was my look back on the band
garbage. The band.

Oh, that garbage.

Sorry, dude. I've got an idea.

How about instead of being sorry all the
time, why don't you try not screwing

up? Whoa!

Is that the kind of energy you want to
bring to our locker, dude?

It's not our locker. It's my locker.

And I want you out of it by lunch, dude.

Whatever. I don't want to share a locker
with a big selfish jerk like you

anyway. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Good.

Fantastic.

Next time, do a look back on a band
called Don't Throw Me Out. I'm super

important.

This one's for Karina.

Girl with sensible footwear coming
through.

Oh, yeah. You heard me.

I'm wearing Claude Hopper's, and I'm
wearing them with Sal. Hey, try doing

in your four -inch thing back, peep
-toes.

Of course. First, tell me one thing. Is
it DJ?

That's Norman Norman.

You know, the school mascot.

Well, you gotta admit they have the same
hair.

Well, what is it, Rebecca?

When a reporter goes undercover, do they
ever end up liking the people they're

investigating? Ah, cheerleading's more
fun than you thought, huh?

For me, not so much for Michael.

Well, I'm sorry.

You know, it's okay to want to hang with
new people.

Especially people with...

Spirit's sake, can you hear it? I
digress. If Michael is as good a friend

think, you'll find a way to make this
work.

Thanks, Mr. Shepard. You're welcome.

Oh, you are going down, DJ.

That's the lunch lady.

So I think, so I think.

Thought you'd already be gone by now, or
I would have come by later.

I was going to swing by earlier, but I
bent with today looking for a new

Look, I'm sorry about this.

No, for the best.

You both know.

I guess.

You look good.

You too.

So, um, you seeing any new locker mates?

No.

I'm going to take some time for myself.

Get to know me and my locker again.

I hear you, man.

See you around.

Take care of yourself.

Same to you.

Same.

When it comes to football, you might as
well step back. Say what? You might as

well step back. Can't hear you. You
might as well step back. Go Storms!

You're getting so much better.

So be on top of the pyramid in no time.

Thanks. Sorry about hitting you in the
eye with my pom -pom.

Oh, it's okay. Did you know that the
eyeball is one of the fastest healing

organs in the human body? Really?

Yeah, first. Go on.

Oh, did you see Mr. McDean today?

You mean his jeans? Yeah. If you're
going to wear lowriders, you probably

shouldn't wear underwear that says
number one dad on them.

Um, I meant his awesome cardigan.

Spirit school members don't make fun of
people, Rebecca.

Ever. It's not cool.

If we wanted a cheerleader, we would
have chosen your nasty little friend.

Michael's not nasty.

He's just sarcastically gifted.

Whatever.

Let's just try this cheer again.

But this time it's more packed.

Very impressive. Who knew that there was
a comfy shoe convention?

It's huge with grandmas and nurses.

Oh, great.

Expanding our demographic.

Look, Amanda, I'm glad you can see that
it's okay to wear something that's

comfortable and not fashionable.

No one is more surprised than I am. It
was like breaking up with a best friend.

True. But sometimes it's nice to have a
best friend that doesn't squeak when you

walk.

Sorry, DJ.

I'm a changed girl. I will never suffer
from pinched toes and burning arches

again. In fact, I just donated all my
fancy shoes to charity.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get
back to organizing my foam tread fashion

show.

Are those figuruchis?

Yeah, I think so.

Gold sequined Cinderella slip -ons with
a three -inch heel and peekaboo toe?

I guess. I bought them for a gal and
they're too small.

You want to try them on?

No. I'm okay.

Who am I kidding?

I guess it wouldn't kill me to wear
something a bit more stylish.

I am on the fashion beat. You certainly
are.

Now, if you don't mind, I have to steal
back 50 pairs of shoes from the friendly

Samaritans of Hope Society.

Works like a charm.

Good times, huh?

Yeah, they were.

What's up?

My garbage article?

Where'd you find it?

Let me guess, the dumpster?

I had to dive through three of them
before I got it.

I also found that.

I'm hoping there's a reward.

Only a friend would do something like
this.

Actually, only you would do something
like this.

What's this for?

I thought you could use it, you know, in
case some dude happens to know your

combo.

Look, I'm sorry.

I was a little harsh on you.

So if you ever need to bunk with me
again, no problem.

I'm so glad to hear you say that.

Deck, buddy.

A desk, buddy?

What's wrong with your desk?

The exterminator blamed it on a bean
burrito and an army of ants.

How's the perky posse?

I wouldn't know.

I quit.

You did? Why?

Well, I finished my buzz story, and as
it turns out, I like a little snark with

my perk.

I'm sorry.

I'm the one who should be sorry. I mean,
you're the only real friend I've ever

had, and when I thought I was losing
you, I got mean.

You're never going to lose me.

For sure.

How will I know?

Did you see Mr. McDean today?

Those low -riders?

Who did?

He'd think he is.

Yeah, MC Soccer Dad. I hear he's
scooping up his minivan.

Can you release the CD? Bring the noise.
We use your inside voice.

Oh, I remember one coming in.

Hold the elevator!

What do you want, Shepard?

Well, you were right.

There is not one single bad photograph
of you in any yearbook, not even in

shots. Told you.

Yes, you did. You certainly did.

By the way, your mom's a super nice
lady.

My mom?

What are you talking about?