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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:12,910 --> 00:00:16,390 Here, please, Dave, and put it on my tab. 2 00:00:16,730 --> 00:00:20,070 Uh -oh, I'm sensing another trip to Atlantic City. 3 00:00:20,930 --> 00:00:25,230 You lost your shirt, didn't you? My shirt? Please, I'm lucky I still have my 4 00:00:25,230 --> 00:00:26,230 liver. 5 00:00:26,710 --> 00:00:28,450 All right, here you go. 6 00:00:28,950 --> 00:00:33,570 My famous chocolate amaretto souffle. It tastes so scandalous when you're in bed 7 00:00:33,570 --> 00:00:35,790 with your husband, you scream out his name instead. 8 00:00:37,090 --> 00:00:38,370 Hi, honey. Hi. 9 00:00:39,110 --> 00:00:40,130 Missed your lunch today? 10 00:00:40,490 --> 00:00:43,570 Yeah, I had this editorial luncheon over at Chumley's today, and while I was 11 00:00:43,570 --> 00:00:46,270 there, I saw something, and I need some advice on how to handle it. 12 00:00:46,770 --> 00:00:48,450 You see, this is why I love coming in here. 13 00:00:48,810 --> 00:00:52,550 We're like this extended family, gathered each evening around this, well, 14 00:00:52,550 --> 00:00:53,550 long dinner table. 15 00:00:53,990 --> 00:00:55,890 Each during the news of our collective days. 16 00:00:56,770 --> 00:00:58,490 That'll be $5 .95, son. 17 00:01:01,350 --> 00:01:03,710 Well, I probably shouldn't even be talking about this, but... 18 00:01:04,060 --> 00:01:07,500 Okay, you know, we're just sitting around, you know, gnawing on steaks and 19 00:01:07,500 --> 00:01:11,400 politics, and I notice there's a guy over in the corner booth making out with 20 00:01:11,400 --> 00:01:14,520 the cologne spritzer girl from Bloomingdale's. I mean, their hands are 21 00:01:14,520 --> 00:01:16,540 practically having sex on the placemats. 22 00:01:17,360 --> 00:01:18,380 I look again. 23 00:01:18,860 --> 00:01:21,980 and I see that this guy is Charles Burgess. 24 00:01:22,300 --> 00:01:23,540 What? Are you kidding? 25 00:01:24,200 --> 00:01:25,320 Maybe it's Charles. 26 00:01:25,600 --> 00:01:28,380 The man has been out of prison less than a month, and already he's fooling 27 00:01:28,380 --> 00:01:31,840 around with a spritzer girl. For God's sake, they haven't even signed the 28 00:01:31,840 --> 00:01:35,180 divorce papers yet. Is that her lawyer? Yeah, they're working over the final 29 00:01:35,180 --> 00:01:38,360 papers, but if you ask me, I think she's doling. Well, do you think she knows 30 00:01:38,360 --> 00:01:39,360 that Charles is seeing somebody? 31 00:01:40,020 --> 00:01:42,420 If I don't know, how would she know? 32 00:01:44,360 --> 00:01:48,430 But now that I do, I think it's only right that... She should be next. 33 00:01:48,690 --> 00:01:51,450 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Would you hold it? I mean, should we really be butting in 34 00:01:51,450 --> 00:01:54,570 here? For all we know, you know, this thing with the spritzer girl is a one 35 00:01:54,570 --> 00:01:57,590 -time fling. You know, Charles' way of drowning his sorrows. 36 00:01:58,570 --> 00:02:00,590 She's a spritzer girl, Jack. 37 00:02:01,850 --> 00:02:05,830 I have no sympathy for a man who will settle for cheap sex in a free umbrella. 38 00:02:07,370 --> 00:02:11,350 And by the way, how do you know that it's the spritzer girl from 39 00:02:11,570 --> 00:02:14,850 Well, you must know, Dana, the spritzer girl from Saks is blonde here. 40 00:02:18,120 --> 00:02:21,920 Mrs. Berkus, you have to remember, you instigated the divorce proceedings. You 41 00:02:21,920 --> 00:02:23,760 have to give your husband something in the settlement. 42 00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:25,900 Well, it's not going to be the stadium blanket. 43 00:02:26,920 --> 00:02:30,320 Charles is going to Yale football games without me. He can freeze his little 44 00:02:30,320 --> 00:02:31,640 bulldogs off for all I care. 45 00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:36,960 Mrs. Berkus, at the risk of sounding insensitive, now, I've been down this 46 00:02:36,960 --> 00:02:40,120 before. And when it gets to the moment of the truth, some people have a 47 00:02:40,120 --> 00:02:41,400 to drag their feet. 48 00:02:41,980 --> 00:02:42,980 All right. 49 00:02:43,420 --> 00:02:44,940 He can have the stadium blanket. 50 00:02:45,400 --> 00:02:47,960 And what's... Left of the case of Pennzoil. 51 00:02:49,320 --> 00:02:53,480 But I want, uh, I want the monogram Croquet set. Get on the phone. Get that 52 00:02:53,480 --> 00:02:54,480 me. 53 00:02:57,200 --> 00:03:00,680 So, Nadine, how's it going over there? Well, I'm just grateful that it could 54 00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:01,680 be so amicable. 55 00:03:01,740 --> 00:03:05,200 Charles was being really very good about this. Very patient, very understanding. 56 00:03:05,380 --> 00:03:08,300 And very deceitful, you know? He cheated his clients, and if he could cheat 57 00:03:08,300 --> 00:03:09,740 them... Dana, what are you saying? 58 00:03:10,920 --> 00:03:15,300 I'm just saying that... Cheater, cheater, pumpkin eater, okay? 59 00:03:17,650 --> 00:03:21,050 Yeah, whatever. I'm just going to sign these and move on with my life. 60 00:03:22,410 --> 00:03:25,270 Mr. Perkins will be happy to know that Charles has agreed to give you the 61 00:03:25,270 --> 00:03:28,070 blanket and the croquet set. And the workmate. 62 00:03:28,610 --> 00:03:32,510 The workmate? That's right. You can saw on it. You can pound on it. You can 63 00:03:32,510 --> 00:03:35,230 plane a door on it. It's a hundred tools in one, and he's trying to sneak it by 64 00:03:35,230 --> 00:03:36,390 as a single item. Get that for me. 65 00:03:37,490 --> 00:03:39,450 Okay. Okay, I'll get the workmate. 66 00:03:39,650 --> 00:03:43,230 But before I make this call, is there anything else you'd like? What, the 67 00:03:43,230 --> 00:03:43,989 cleaner bags? 68 00:03:43,990 --> 00:03:44,990 The hedge clippers? 69 00:03:47,150 --> 00:03:49,450 It's true. I'm having second thoughts here. 70 00:03:49,690 --> 00:03:54,410 But nevertheless, I'm ready to sign. 71 00:03:55,470 --> 00:03:57,370 Really? I don't believe it. 72 00:03:57,750 --> 00:03:58,910 All right, great. 73 00:03:59,310 --> 00:04:02,570 I'll make today's changes on the documents, and I'll have them messaged 74 00:04:02,570 --> 00:04:03,570 you in the next two hours. 75 00:04:07,650 --> 00:04:08,650 Oh, boy. 76 00:04:12,110 --> 00:04:15,310 So, Nadine, what are you doing tonight, huh? 77 00:04:16,360 --> 00:04:21,320 Oh, nothing much. I just thought I'd throw a lean cuisine into the oven and 78 00:04:21,320 --> 00:04:22,580 my wedding album on fire. 79 00:04:24,280 --> 00:04:28,020 That's not bad, but I think maybe you should, you know, go out, have a little 80 00:04:28,020 --> 00:04:32,400 fun, cut loose. You know, I hear there's a great new supper club over on Prince 81 00:04:32,400 --> 00:04:35,340 Street called Madeline's. Things don't even start to get interesting until 82 00:04:35,340 --> 00:04:39,240 10 there. We could finish up here, and then we could all go over there and make 83 00:04:39,240 --> 00:04:40,260 a little noise. What do you say? 84 00:04:40,620 --> 00:04:44,920 Yeah, I've heard of Madeline's. It's supposed to be really hip and hard to 85 00:04:44,920 --> 00:04:48,060 into. My friend Steve was rejected from there just last week. 86 00:04:48,540 --> 00:04:51,760 Could it have anything to do with his ski lift tickets he still wears on his 87 00:04:51,760 --> 00:04:53,040 jacket from 1975? 88 00:04:54,660 --> 00:04:57,860 It's really, really, really nice of you all to offer, but I think I better be 89 00:04:57,860 --> 00:05:01,560 alone tonight. Oh, no, that's exactly what you shouldn't do. Come on, Nadine, 90 00:05:01,560 --> 00:05:05,600 this is a whole new start for you. One of those rare moments in life when you 91 00:05:05,600 --> 00:05:09,520 get a completely clean slate. Come on, you gotta make the most of it. Well... 92 00:05:09,520 --> 00:05:10,520 I'll tell you what. 93 00:05:11,140 --> 00:05:12,800 I'm gonna give you the rest of the day off. 94 00:05:13,140 --> 00:05:14,140 Say what? 95 00:05:14,570 --> 00:05:17,350 I want you to go out and do something outrageous. 96 00:05:17,910 --> 00:05:23,250 Go swim in the fountain at the plaza. No, that's frozen. Go run barefoot in 97 00:05:23,250 --> 00:05:25,870 park. No, that's closed until I find that sniper. 98 00:05:26,670 --> 00:05:29,610 Have breakfast at Tiffany's. What am I saying? It's not really a restaurant. 99 00:05:29,950 --> 00:05:33,530 Well, just go with the classics. Buy some clothes. Get a new haircut. 100 00:05:34,250 --> 00:05:37,410 Reinvent yourself. That's exactly what you need to do. Oh, you know, that does 101 00:05:37,410 --> 00:05:38,410 sound awfully tempting. 102 00:05:38,850 --> 00:05:40,430 Well, then do it. What do you got to lose? 103 00:05:40,710 --> 00:05:41,710 Oh, all right. Okay. 104 00:05:42,010 --> 00:05:47,680 Yes. I will? Gee, I am getting a little excited here. This is great. It'll be 105 00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:50,940 like a coming out party, except I won't wear a white dress. Maybe something 106 00:05:50,940 --> 00:05:52,500 black and strapless. 107 00:05:52,760 --> 00:05:55,340 Gosh, I wonder if that thigh cream works on your upper arms. Okay. 108 00:05:58,280 --> 00:05:59,280 Hi, 109 00:06:05,320 --> 00:06:07,180 my name is Sean. I'll be your waiter this evening. 110 00:06:07,920 --> 00:06:08,659 Excuse me. 111 00:06:08,660 --> 00:06:09,660 We didn't order this. 112 00:06:10,400 --> 00:06:11,400 It's complimentary. 113 00:06:11,500 --> 00:06:12,700 Oh. And we'll need more. 114 00:06:13,500 --> 00:06:16,860 Sean, I think we're ready to order our drinks. I'd like a glass of champagne. 115 00:06:17,040 --> 00:06:18,040 Here for me, please. 116 00:06:18,280 --> 00:06:22,560 And, Sean, I'm hosting this little party for a friend of ours who's going to be 117 00:06:22,560 --> 00:06:24,220 here soon. If you could just do me a favor. 118 00:06:24,440 --> 00:06:28,960 When she comes and orders her drink, if you would just ask to see her ideas. 119 00:06:29,940 --> 00:06:31,020 She's under 21? 120 00:06:31,760 --> 00:06:35,140 No, Sean, she's not. But I think it will make her very happy. 121 00:06:35,540 --> 00:06:37,660 And if she's happy, we're happy. 122 00:06:38,620 --> 00:06:39,620 Oh, 123 00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:41,200 right. 124 00:06:42,090 --> 00:06:44,090 Sean, I'll just let Mr. 125 00:06:44,430 --> 00:06:46,450 Washington here express how happy we are. 126 00:06:49,310 --> 00:06:50,850 Thank you so much for this. 127 00:06:51,370 --> 00:06:54,410 I'll be back to take your order right after I go call my wife, tell her she 128 00:06:54,410 --> 00:06:55,450 take the baby off the market. 129 00:07:01,810 --> 00:07:03,870 Is it just me, or does this guy have an attitude? 130 00:07:05,790 --> 00:07:07,770 Ooh, a real cigarette drill. 131 00:07:09,010 --> 00:07:11,190 Wow, there are so many beautiful women here. 132 00:07:11,950 --> 00:07:13,710 I can't believe it. I mean, look at that one. 133 00:07:15,010 --> 00:07:16,010 And this one. 134 00:07:16,750 --> 00:07:19,790 And look at... Oh, my God. 135 00:07:20,870 --> 00:07:21,870 It's Nadine. 136 00:07:23,010 --> 00:07:25,870 Oh, dear Lord, she looks like Times Square Barbie. 137 00:07:28,310 --> 00:07:31,050 Don't stare. Don't say anything. Just act casual. 138 00:07:31,410 --> 00:07:32,410 Hi, everybody. 139 00:07:33,550 --> 00:07:34,830 Nadine, look at you. 140 00:07:36,250 --> 00:07:40,370 Outrageous. I know. It's pretty wild, huh? I took your advice, Dana. 141 00:07:40,680 --> 00:07:44,640 I went to a little boutique on 57th Street and I said to the sales lady, I 142 00:07:44,640 --> 00:07:45,880 a whole new me. 143 00:07:46,480 --> 00:07:49,980 Just a big old brand new me because that's what my friend Dana said I should 144 00:07:50,820 --> 00:07:52,780 I did say that, didn't I? 145 00:07:53,140 --> 00:07:54,800 And anyway, here I am. 146 00:07:55,280 --> 00:07:56,940 Nadine, unplugged. 147 00:07:59,140 --> 00:08:01,180 All right, and here's your champagne. 148 00:08:02,220 --> 00:08:03,220 No, look. 149 00:08:03,240 --> 00:08:05,760 Someone new has joined our little group. 150 00:08:07,260 --> 00:08:08,900 Can I get you a drink? 151 00:08:09,770 --> 00:08:10,950 Yeah, I'd like a white wine. 152 00:08:11,210 --> 00:08:12,310 All right, ma 'am. 153 00:08:12,910 --> 00:08:19,890 Ma 'am, I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask to see your ID, 154 00:08:20,030 --> 00:08:21,030 please. 155 00:08:22,290 --> 00:08:23,290 What? 156 00:08:24,250 --> 00:08:28,150 Identification. It's a New York state law. It's nothing personal. It's just we 157 00:08:28,150 --> 00:08:33,090 don't want to be accused of selling alcohol to minors. 158 00:08:38,280 --> 00:08:39,880 to the food portion of the evening. 159 00:08:41,140 --> 00:08:42,099 Oh, great. 160 00:08:42,100 --> 00:08:44,540 All the waiters in this town are going to get one who's not an actor. 161 00:08:48,640 --> 00:08:52,760 I'm sorry, Nadine. Forgive me. I thought that that would be a fun and silly 162 00:08:52,760 --> 00:08:57,060 thing to do instead of the debasing and humiliating experience that was for 163 00:08:57,060 --> 00:08:58,160 everyone here at the table. 164 00:08:59,400 --> 00:09:00,400 That's okay, Dan. 165 00:09:00,760 --> 00:09:02,060 Who am I kidding, anyway? 166 00:09:02,420 --> 00:09:04,520 That sales lady said I looked whimsical. 167 00:09:05,800 --> 00:09:06,800 Visionary. 168 00:09:07,390 --> 00:09:11,990 I guess what she meant to say is that I look like... I look like Cindy Lauper's 169 00:09:11,990 --> 00:09:12,990 mother. 170 00:09:16,590 --> 00:09:19,450 Truth is, I'm a little at sea here. Who wouldn't be? 171 00:09:19,730 --> 00:09:23,210 I haven't been out as a single person since, oh, my God, 1973. 172 00:09:24,470 --> 00:09:25,630 When I was five. 173 00:09:27,070 --> 00:09:29,970 Of course, with Charles, it never mattered how I dressed. 174 00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:34,290 I could have worn the swimming pool cover. He still would have wanted sex 175 00:09:34,290 --> 00:09:36,530 night. I wonder what he's doing now. 176 00:09:37,800 --> 00:09:40,380 You know, Nadine, I think there's something you ought to know about. 177 00:09:43,080 --> 00:09:47,120 Nadine, have you thought about how great single life can be? 178 00:09:47,840 --> 00:09:52,320 I mean, you can come and go as you please. You can go to a party, not have 179 00:09:52,320 --> 00:09:54,140 worry if he's having a good time. 180 00:09:54,480 --> 00:09:58,300 Come home after work, have the whole house to yourself. 181 00:09:58,880 --> 00:10:03,100 You know, without there being a big mess of newspapers all over the floor like 182 00:10:03,100 --> 00:10:05,140 you're boarding a giant parakeet. 183 00:10:06,500 --> 00:10:12,320 No cereal bowls leaving the Olympic rings on your end table. Just you and 184 00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:14,060 cat and a glass of wine. 185 00:10:14,840 --> 00:10:16,640 Thank God those days are over, right, honey? 186 00:10:19,980 --> 00:10:24,380 Ray, Ray, your cigarette girl's headed this way. Pay for my meal and I'll 187 00:10:24,380 --> 00:10:25,620 arrange for a proper introduction. 188 00:10:26,740 --> 00:10:27,740 Okay. 189 00:10:29,220 --> 00:10:30,220 Sorry. 190 00:10:31,560 --> 00:10:32,560 This is Ray. 191 00:10:37,710 --> 00:10:40,710 I was wondering, a pack of cigarettes, please. 192 00:10:41,130 --> 00:10:43,090 Just something with a rich, bold flavor. You pick. 193 00:10:44,050 --> 00:10:45,610 Here you are. 194 00:10:46,050 --> 00:10:47,009 Thank you. 195 00:10:47,010 --> 00:10:48,530 Well, this is a brand with a great billboard. 196 00:10:49,190 --> 00:10:52,150 Young couples in love, playfully teasing each other on a sailboat. 197 00:10:53,790 --> 00:10:55,910 Fresh, salt air blowing through their hair. 198 00:10:56,110 --> 00:10:58,750 I mean, you never guess, they wake up in the morning hacking up big balls of 199 00:10:58,750 --> 00:10:59,750 flim. 200 00:11:00,870 --> 00:11:01,870 Here's your change. 201 00:11:03,050 --> 00:11:04,050 Take care. 202 00:11:07,470 --> 00:11:08,470 I'm in the door. 203 00:11:11,950 --> 00:11:14,310 I've got a good idea. How about a toast? 204 00:11:14,710 --> 00:11:18,210 Yeah. To Nadine's renaissance. 205 00:11:18,590 --> 00:11:24,410 The closing of one chapter and the beginning of a new one. Aw, thank you, 206 00:11:24,410 --> 00:11:25,349 and everyone. 207 00:11:25,350 --> 00:11:29,170 I look forward to the future. I really do. 208 00:11:29,730 --> 00:11:32,810 At the same time, I don't want to throw away my past, you know? 209 00:11:33,210 --> 00:11:36,010 Oh, I have a lot of fond memories of those last 23 years. 210 00:11:36,490 --> 00:11:40,890 Even little things like folding that first basket of laundry with Guinevere's 211 00:11:40,890 --> 00:11:46,410 tiny feety pajamas in. There was a lot of pride in that first fold. Then a lot 212 00:11:46,410 --> 00:11:49,230 of built -up anger and resentment in that 200th fold. 213 00:11:49,470 --> 00:11:53,790 Then a certain kind of joy in that 800th fold when you watch the kids leave the 214 00:11:53,790 --> 00:11:54,790 house all wrinkled. 215 00:11:55,070 --> 00:11:58,730 You sip your third Manhattan, which makes you feel guilty. 216 00:11:59,310 --> 00:12:02,790 So you go to therapy, which makes you feel even more guilty because it's real 217 00:12:02,790 --> 00:12:03,790 expensive. 218 00:12:03,820 --> 00:12:05,960 But he's so cute and he listens so well. 219 00:12:06,500 --> 00:12:10,260 Just about that time you're saying, so my life is flipping through my fingers, 220 00:12:10,380 --> 00:12:13,920 so I'll have time for myself once the kids are out of grade school. Then you 221 00:12:13,920 --> 00:12:17,080 it again, once they're out of high school. Then, once they're out of 222 00:12:17,680 --> 00:12:20,180 Then, once they're out of rehab and he's out of prison. 223 00:12:21,480 --> 00:12:25,140 One day you find yourself, a divorcee, dining with a group of people trying to 224 00:12:25,140 --> 00:12:29,000 cheer up an over -the -hill giant fishing lure who's no longer capable of 225 00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:31,560 snagging anything more than an old tire and a bunch of steel. 226 00:12:32,610 --> 00:12:33,610 Cheers! 227 00:12:40,710 --> 00:12:45,070 I can't believe this. It's been 45 minutes. Where the hell is the food? 228 00:12:46,550 --> 00:12:49,590 I'm so hungry, I'm starting to wonder what you taste like between two pieces 229 00:12:49,590 --> 00:12:50,590 sourdough bread. 230 00:12:53,170 --> 00:12:54,230 Nadine, how you doing? 231 00:12:54,830 --> 00:12:56,050 You having a good time? 232 00:12:57,510 --> 00:13:00,390 Put the candle down, Nadine. You're going to set your Twitter on fire. 233 00:13:01,530 --> 00:13:04,070 But? At least that might get the attention of the waiter. 234 00:13:05,110 --> 00:13:08,730 You know, I'm just sitting here thinking about all the things I never did with 235 00:13:08,730 --> 00:13:09,689 my life. 236 00:13:09,690 --> 00:13:13,590 You know, for some reason, I always thought I'd play the saxophone. 237 00:13:14,230 --> 00:13:20,450 You know, just rent one for six months, learn to play all low and raunchy, 238 00:13:20,450 --> 00:13:22,150 and never tell anyone. 239 00:13:22,610 --> 00:13:26,930 But no, no. No, no, quiet, polite, little, what can I bring to the PTA 240 00:13:27,030 --> 00:13:28,030 Nadine never did that. 241 00:13:28,470 --> 00:13:29,470 Never did any of that. 242 00:13:30,560 --> 00:13:33,120 Never frosted my hair. Well, probably a good thing. 243 00:13:34,600 --> 00:13:36,060 Never wrote that book. 244 00:13:36,720 --> 00:13:38,600 Never wore white after Labor Day. 245 00:13:38,920 --> 00:13:40,700 The list is endless. 246 00:13:40,920 --> 00:13:41,920 You telling us. 247 00:13:44,440 --> 00:13:45,440 Hey, guys. 248 00:13:45,840 --> 00:13:47,840 Hey, what are you doing with all those cigarettes? 249 00:13:49,260 --> 00:13:50,260 I don't know. 250 00:13:50,640 --> 00:13:53,560 I was talking to Jeanette, the cigarette girl, and one thing led to another. 251 00:13:54,580 --> 00:13:58,120 Anyway, I know we said we were not doing gifts this year, but Merry Christmas 252 00:13:58,120 --> 00:13:59,120 and Happy Hanukkah. 253 00:14:06,640 --> 00:14:08,220 So tell me, do I look cool? 254 00:14:09,960 --> 00:14:12,440 Should I hold it like this, or should I go with this one? 255 00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:16,020 All right, all right. Who ordered the corned beef? 256 00:14:17,980 --> 00:14:20,100 Hey, Jack, here's your pastrami. 257 00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:22,480 Yeah, Dana, Monte Cristo. 258 00:14:23,400 --> 00:14:25,660 And Ray, here's your egg salad. 259 00:14:26,340 --> 00:14:29,260 Nadine, they didn't have rice pudding, so I got you tapioca instead. 260 00:14:30,720 --> 00:14:31,720 Tapioca? Yeah. 261 00:14:32,460 --> 00:14:33,780 Oh, that's just so perfect. 262 00:14:34,660 --> 00:14:35,660 Tapioca. 263 00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:37,560 The whole night's been tapioca. 264 00:14:38,380 --> 00:14:40,340 My entire life has been tapioca. 265 00:14:41,740 --> 00:14:42,599 Well, I'll eat it. 266 00:14:42,600 --> 00:14:43,600 Get your hands off that. 267 00:14:44,380 --> 00:14:46,080 That's all I have left, you jackal. 268 00:14:47,960 --> 00:14:51,880 Nadine, I'm sorry. I feel just terrible. I thought a night out would do you 269 00:14:51,880 --> 00:14:53,420 good. Guess not. 270 00:14:54,260 --> 00:14:57,500 Ah, Dana, that's okay. You were really sweet to try. And you know something? 271 00:14:58,020 --> 00:15:00,880 I've been just sitting here for the last half hour thinking, and you know what I 272 00:15:00,880 --> 00:15:02,160 realized? I'm wrong. 273 00:15:02,680 --> 00:15:03,940 This divorce is a mistake. 274 00:15:04,440 --> 00:15:09,020 So Charles is totally overbearing, and he's selfish, and he constantly 275 00:15:09,020 --> 00:15:10,020 my life. So? 276 00:15:10,460 --> 00:15:11,540 No marriage is perfect. 277 00:15:11,880 --> 00:15:13,240 Is that a reason to get a divorce? 278 00:15:14,240 --> 00:15:15,240 Now, Nadine, listen. 279 00:15:15,780 --> 00:15:19,260 You know, don't sell yourself short. I mean, speaking as a guy, you're smart, 280 00:15:19,420 --> 00:15:21,380 you're attractive, you have other clothes. 281 00:15:23,820 --> 00:15:24,820 What? 282 00:15:25,220 --> 00:15:26,940 What, am I wrong? You like this outfit? 283 00:15:27,920 --> 00:15:30,600 I mean, I'm just trying to let her see it from a guy's point of view, that's 284 00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:31,600 all, and she's going to need it. 285 00:15:31,850 --> 00:15:35,310 Oh, don't listen to him, Nadine. No matter what you're going through right 286 00:15:35,390 --> 00:15:38,070 you did the right thing signing those divorce papers. 287 00:15:38,330 --> 00:15:42,350 That's just it. I didn't sign them. They came this afternoon. I didn't have the 288 00:15:42,350 --> 00:15:46,170 guts. Oh, boy, am I lucky. You didn't sign the papers. Why not? 289 00:15:46,650 --> 00:15:49,450 Maybe it's not too late to put this whole thing back together. 290 00:15:49,850 --> 00:15:52,550 Jack, if you were Charles, what would you be doing right now? 291 00:15:55,130 --> 00:15:57,130 I'll tell you exactly what he's doing. 292 00:15:57,760 --> 00:16:02,480 He's roaming the carpets of his cheesy studio apartment, take -out cartons, his 293 00:16:02,480 --> 00:16:03,480 only friends. 294 00:16:03,820 --> 00:16:07,040 He's too depressed to eat. He's too anxious to sleep. I've got to go to him 295 00:16:07,040 --> 00:16:10,240 right away. Oh, no, no, Nadine, don't do that. Why? Give me one good reason why. 296 00:16:10,440 --> 00:16:13,280 Well, you know, you'll see that case of Pennzoil or get all weepy. 297 00:16:14,040 --> 00:16:15,040 You're talking nutty. 298 00:16:15,340 --> 00:16:18,580 Okay, you know, you want to be part of a threesome, two of whom will smell 299 00:16:18,580 --> 00:16:22,140 better than you? You're still nutty. All right, all right, Nadine. 300 00:16:22,700 --> 00:16:25,820 I saw Charles and the spritzer girl from Bloomingdale's in a restaurant 301 00:16:25,820 --> 00:16:26,820 together. 302 00:16:26,930 --> 00:16:28,550 Maybe they were sharing a friendly meal. 303 00:16:28,850 --> 00:16:29,850 I don't think so. 304 00:16:30,450 --> 00:16:33,930 Unless she had swallowed some bread the wrong way and he was trying to suck it 305 00:16:33,930 --> 00:16:34,930 out. 306 00:16:37,650 --> 00:16:38,650 Oh, God. 307 00:16:40,210 --> 00:16:41,210 Oh, God. 308 00:16:42,150 --> 00:16:43,330 How humiliating. 309 00:16:44,430 --> 00:16:45,430 Thanks a lot, Jack. 310 00:16:45,670 --> 00:16:47,530 You couldn't keep something like this to yourself. 311 00:16:48,910 --> 00:16:50,530 Would everybody please excuse me? 312 00:16:55,340 --> 00:16:56,540 I told you not to say anything. 313 00:17:04,520 --> 00:17:06,900 A bittersweet melody. 314 00:17:07,740 --> 00:17:08,740 Yes. 315 00:17:09,599 --> 00:17:12,260 Sort of fitting for what I'm going through right now. 316 00:17:13,520 --> 00:17:14,520 Nothing really. 317 00:17:15,099 --> 00:17:16,579 Just a little bit of agony. 318 00:17:17,220 --> 00:17:19,000 We all go through something sometime. 319 00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:21,560 You're very wise. 320 00:17:27,369 --> 00:17:28,369 Is that me? 321 00:17:30,050 --> 00:17:31,190 You have a good voice. 322 00:17:31,430 --> 00:17:33,130 Oh, thank you. 323 00:17:34,290 --> 00:17:37,090 I'm not one usually to sing around the piano. 324 00:17:37,330 --> 00:17:39,930 In fact, I never sing in public. 325 00:17:40,350 --> 00:17:41,550 Too scared, I guess. 326 00:17:41,790 --> 00:17:42,790 Too bad. 327 00:18:00,330 --> 00:18:01,189 How about you? 328 00:18:01,190 --> 00:18:02,190 Everything good? 329 00:18:03,190 --> 00:18:05,050 Oh, that's good. 330 00:18:06,310 --> 00:18:11,350 You know, I'm kind of going through a rough time right now. 331 00:18:12,410 --> 00:18:14,610 My husband and I just split up. 332 00:18:15,650 --> 00:18:18,950 Anyone else out there going through something similar? 333 00:18:20,990 --> 00:18:21,990 You. 334 00:18:22,990 --> 00:18:24,910 You look like someone would divorce you. 335 00:18:27,560 --> 00:18:34,260 Well, then this little number's for you and me and anyone else who relates. 336 00:18:35,780 --> 00:18:39,620 For when you're feeling lonely and you open the refrigerator. 337 00:18:41,440 --> 00:18:47,400 For when you're sitting alone in the dark waiting for the phone to ring. 338 00:18:48,440 --> 00:18:54,980 For when your eyes get bigger and they start 339 00:18:54,980 --> 00:18:56,160 to lose. 340 00:18:56,600 --> 00:18:57,920 They're glimmer. Pick it up, please. 341 00:18:58,260 --> 00:19:00,660 The tears go bolder. 342 00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:02,920 Seemingly, they're colder. 343 00:19:03,160 --> 00:19:09,680 And all because of the man who goes astray. 344 00:19:12,640 --> 00:19:19,060 Oh, no, he'll never call the waiting 345 00:19:19,060 --> 00:19:20,740 off the wall. 346 00:19:22,280 --> 00:19:24,380 The schemes you dream. 347 00:19:25,390 --> 00:19:27,690 Have all gone. 348 00:19:31,570 --> 00:19:38,310 The road gets rougher. He's on rear and gruffer. He just won't own 349 00:19:38,310 --> 00:19:43,510 up. Tomorrow he may blow up. You got his letter. 350 00:19:43,890 --> 00:19:46,790 You're home for a better day. 351 00:20:42,640 --> 00:20:43,640 Love you, babe. 352 00:20:46,420 --> 00:20:47,820 I said Eddie. 353 00:20:49,200 --> 00:20:54,180 You know, Nadine, I watched that like I watched the Indy 500. 354 00:20:54,420 --> 00:20:57,600 Kind of hoping for a crash, but pretty glad when it didn't happen. 355 00:20:58,100 --> 00:21:02,240 Oh, Nadine, I'm so proud of you. The only time I ever did anything like that 356 00:21:02,240 --> 00:21:05,740 was... Oh, my God, there's something I haven't done. 357 00:21:06,820 --> 00:21:08,720 Dana, I really have to thank you. 358 00:21:09,340 --> 00:21:12,180 I finally got what it was you were saying. To me, you've got to put 359 00:21:12,180 --> 00:21:16,620 on a limb. It's really liberating. I mean, who knows what else I can do? 360 00:21:17,340 --> 00:21:19,000 Oh, let me get my purse. 361 00:21:19,200 --> 00:21:22,300 No, no. This is on us. It's our treat. 362 00:21:22,500 --> 00:21:24,140 Oh, you bet your sweet ass it is. 363 00:21:25,380 --> 00:21:28,040 I'm even swearing. No, this is what I want. 364 00:21:28,560 --> 00:21:29,600 My divorce paper. 365 00:21:35,380 --> 00:21:38,420 There. Boy, that was fast. 366 00:21:39,340 --> 00:21:40,620 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 367 00:21:41,020 --> 00:21:42,020 Oh. 368 00:21:42,820 --> 00:21:46,280 Okay, so what should we all do now? Get the hell out of here. 369 00:21:52,200 --> 00:21:58,640 You know, it's very satisfying when you're meddling in someone else's life 370 00:21:58,640 --> 00:22:00,220 it turns out the way it's supposed to. 371 00:22:00,780 --> 00:22:04,120 I think Nadine's gonna enjoy her newfound freedom. 372 00:22:04,540 --> 00:22:07,560 You know, honey, you use that word freedom more times than all of our 373 00:22:07,560 --> 00:22:08,580 fathers put together. 374 00:22:09,659 --> 00:22:12,120 I think maybe you're trying to send me some sort of signal, huh? 375 00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:14,320 Well, what can I tell you? 376 00:22:14,880 --> 00:22:20,840 I always like being on my own, but, eh, this is pretty good, too. 377 00:22:21,040 --> 00:22:25,880 Oh, good. I mean, you know, like there's always somebody there to run out and 378 00:22:25,880 --> 00:22:28,000 get your tampax when you're too lazy to do it. 379 00:22:29,380 --> 00:22:30,540 Oh, yeah, that'll happen. 380 00:22:30,920 --> 00:22:34,800 You know, like somebody calls and asks you to go someplace and you don't want 381 00:22:34,800 --> 00:22:38,260 go, you can always say, I'll check with Jack and then just... You never call him 382 00:22:38,260 --> 00:22:40,440 back. Don't do that to my mother again, okay? 383 00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:48,000 But most importantly of all, there's somebody there to pick up your part of 384 00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:49,340 check when you forget your wallet. 385 00:22:51,280 --> 00:22:54,400 Don't worry. I'll think of some creative way for you to pay me back. 386 00:22:54,960 --> 00:22:59,580 I hope you look good in a little French maid's outfit, standing next to my TV, 387 00:22:59,680 --> 00:23:00,680 changing my channel. 388 00:23:01,720 --> 00:23:03,080 Yeah, that'll happen. 389 00:23:17,300 --> 00:23:18,440 Excuse me, Jeanette. 390 00:23:18,820 --> 00:23:21,040 I just wanted to thank you for all the great service tonight. 391 00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:24,820 Well, thanks, Ray. I really enjoyed talking to you. You're not like everyone 392 00:23:24,820 --> 00:23:26,320 else here, hip and trendy. 393 00:23:26,700 --> 00:23:27,700 Well, thank you. 394 00:23:28,120 --> 00:23:30,860 Now, I was wondering if maybe you'd like to go out with me sometime. 395 00:23:31,340 --> 00:23:33,300 Oh, Ray, I'd absolutely love that. 396 00:23:33,940 --> 00:23:35,760 Only, sorry, I don't date smokers. 397 00:23:36,700 --> 00:23:37,700 I can quit. 398 00:23:38,080 --> 00:23:40,460 I may gain a few pounds, but I'd carry the weight. 33327

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