All language subtitles for lock_stock_s01e06_and_one_big_bullock

Funny.

What happened?

What's this, lad?

Rabbit. Everything in that box is
rabbit.

It's just I don't want no hamster or
nothing hidden underneath.

Oi, don't be cheeky, Currus. You ain't
paying fucking prices.

You still asked the monkey from the last
run.

You know me. I'm an honorable man.

I'll pay you.

I'll pay you up. Yeah. Off. Next week,
all of it. I got a big payout coming

through.

Next week, you settle up.

Otherwise, we're going to talk to your
boss.

All right, all right.

A little bit more respect won't hurt for
your customer.

Look, my idea of a customer is someone
who pays for things with cash, yeah?

Listen, I'll pay you a bit extra, huh?

With my cousin's wedding coming up, I'll
need a whole load of lamb.

But the fresh and tender kind, you know?

What, you mean lamb from actual lambs?

When do you want it?

Next Saturday.

And make sure you've got the cash, yeah?

Yeah.

So,

where's the gear? Them fuckers never
have no gear on them, man.

And they was giving it lots.

So you blew them away. Yeah, I can
fucking see that.

Yeah, well, he was getting all lefty
like.

Yeah, man.

They was disrespecting us.

They was disrespecting you.

Give me the fucking drugs.

I don't think I got the drugs.

So give me my fucking money back.

Why? You should have seen them.

It was going to be us or them.

I could feel it.

Are you wired, son?

No.

Well, just a little tooth, you know,
before the job. Like we always do. Helps

keep us on our dancing toes, you know.

I don't want you doing the fucking
waltz. I want you doing the business.

But you never do.

Every time I give you a simple job, you
land me with a bill for the undertakers.

I'm telling you, man, they start to kick
him off.

You all think you're fucking El Pacino.

I can't think of a single job when you
haven't killed someone.

Folder's green.

What about Golders Green?

Well, it weren't for the want of trying,
was it? By the time you'd entered 20

rounds into the bulletproof glass,
they'd all buggered off out the back.

Well, that's a lie, and you know it.
Bunny!

I don't want to fucking argue.

Your record speaks for itself.

You're a bunch of fucking cowboys.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

We've still got the Russian job coming
up, innit?

No.

We've. Got the Russian job.

You and we have parted company.

Oh, come on, man. Just be glad you ain't
parted company with your ex.

And before you go, you might want to
think about clearing that mess up.

Otherwise, you'll be leaving a trail of
bloody footprints all the way back to

your house.

That next deal was going to make I a
rich man.

Are we going to clean all of this up,
eh, Bun?

We're not going to clean up nothing.

We don't look like cleaning women,
right?

Right.

Fucking right.

Fucking Miami. Let's go and fucking do
it. We're going to take

the Russian deal.

Yeah.

So what does the future hold for those
two then, Gough?

Get Mr. Skin and Mr. Bone in.

I want them two fuckers sliced up thinly
and packed in bubble wrap.

You know, I recently moved into the meat
industry.

Meat industry?

Well, it's not a problem.

I was hoping we could cooperate.

Oh. Got a container load of beef coming
in to where you pick up your supplies.

Two birds, one stone.

Fine. We'll be down it tomorrow. My
container comes in today.

You'll have time for a cup of tea before
you go.

Three feet's made you a mat.

Er, probably a stupid question, but what
was in it for us?

Peace of mind.

A lot of money in that bag, so don't
leave it in the bogs.

You give it to three Russian geezers and
they'll give you the beef.

They're not very pleasant gentlemen,
but, well, in this day and age, who is?

So watch yourselves.

Lads, it's very good of you.

No problem. Sweet. It's fine.

Don't like this.

I suppose if we're working for Miami
Vice, we're protected, aren't we?

Of course Chekhov was political.

Typical Russian.

You don't know the difference between
ethics and politics.

You don't know Chekhov.

I've read Seagull 50 times. Seagull is
the soul of Russia.

Soil of Russia?

No, soul, soul.

The cherry orchard is the soil of
Russia. Guys, we've argued about Chekhov

Bilbao. So?

There are other issues we can discuss.

Like the siege of Stalingrad again.

When your grandfather held back an
entire panzer division with his

My grandfather fought in two world wars
while your ancestors were picking

potatoes in Latvia.

Sergei, Sergei, there's no need for this
silliness.

Silly.

Huh?

Sergey, it's been a long time since we
were married.

Witches.

Fucking not the bastard. Not him.

That hairball is mine, and you know
that.

Over my dead body.

That may be, Charlie.

That may be.

D4.

D5.

C4. C4.

Queen's Gambit.

I believe this game will be over
quickly.

You dozy bastard.

I can finish you off any time I want.

You all piss and win, boy.

Yes!

Right. I am the winner!

You cheating bloody bastard!

You bunch of bloody liars!

You got something to say about my
family?

You ain't heard the last of this.

You bloody gyppos.

Right.

Let's find out where this bumblefly
place is.

Come on!

Mop it, man!

Fucker. Shit, man. Why are you coupling
with Doug when we're the ones doing it?

You idiot.

I'm only having a hint for you.

Fucker.

We're gonna be rich!

Fucking hell, buddy!

Oh,

that's...

Where are you going

with

that? Well, I ain't leaving it in there.
The place is crawling with tea leaves.

I don't like all the cash in that bag.

Let's put it in something else. Don't
fuck about with it, mate. No, he's

Don't touch it, don't look at it. That's
my miss business.

Slung over my shoulder, it don't look
nothing.

No -one would guess.

All right, young man. All right, uncle.

We weren't expecting you till tomorrow.

Yeah, we were collecting something else
in the area.

Thought we'd stop at your place today
and pick it up. One day fresher. Come

what else are you down here for? Well,
we're doing a mate a favour.

He don't want us to shout it about.

Oh, top secret, eh?

Well, no, but, you know, glad that he'd
be unprofessional, wouldn't he? Yeah.

Come on, what have you got in your
handbag there, eh? A fucking friend of

Is that for us?

Hey, Jesus Christ, I mean, don't even
joke about it.

That there is the Elvis Presley of
bulls.

He's a fucking superstar.

So, er, where's our fresh meat, then?

Over here.

It ain't fresh.

It's meat?

Only just.

Uncle Derek, you ain't the ones eating
it, are you?

No.

here. Fine.

We can't accept this.

I mean, it's not even completely dead
anymore.

Well, you go and tell him then.

Or just tell Kouros his meat comes with
free mushrooms.

One, take five.

Not knight?

You have got no chance.

Kuznoy played this whole variation
against Karpov in 81.

Is that supposed to make it more
interesting?

Hey, I want the smile off your pompous
face.

Bishop takes...

You better answer. You speak

better English.

We... You come. OK.

OK.

This way.

Not far.

Near. Yeah.

Ten minutes.

Ten.

This way.

That's right. We come.

4 .30.

Dumpton Cross.

Just stay there, yeah?

I don't think he understood a word I
said.

Done? Not really.

Went down in with the lads. Her bunny's
done a runner.

Any ideas?

It looks like he's gone south.

Come on.

You're flogging a dead horse, mate.

You must have left a light on.

That key's up to something.

Oi!

We have got a job on our hands.

You little bastard!

Cow. Cow.

Meat.

Extra something in.

Russian? Where are you from?

Yes. From is Russia.

Hey, hey. You is too many. More for the
guy.

Please.

You is pay, pay.

Where is that money?

You

pay.

Pound. Still eat. No bloody manners.

Not bad.

That was Miami, wasn't it?

And you don't answer the phone to Miami
Vice these days.

And say what?

I ain't speaking to him till we've got
his beef.

I don't know how to answer it.

Three feet.

Dig out your passport and find a map.

We're crossing the river.

Russians wake up, we're dead meat, so
get in there.

What's the other line?

What's the other one, man?

Right.

So let's go and fucking do it.

Sit your white ass down by a hill.

I'm gonna follow the beef.

I'm moving when the time is right.

We must escape and kill them.

Once again, we're shot on.

The great Russian people bend over and
take it from

behind.

Now is not the time for tears of those
people.

Don't forget!

Take away who you like to talk to me,
you!

Bunny, answer your fucking phone!

If you're going where I think you're
going, you are going to suffer for the

of man, my son!

Thinks he can muscle it, doesn't he?

Reckon he knows what's in them cows?

Yeah, even Bunny can work that out.

What annoys me is you won't even wait to
sell it. You're packing it up his nose

like butty!

You don't know the value of good
Charles.

No kill.

I promise not to kill us. Nice, nice.
Are you Russians?

Yes.

We're here from Miami, boy.

Understand?

Yes.

Where's our beef?

No.

Where is the beef?

You have beef.

We forgive, not kill.

What are you on about?

We've only just got here.

No,

not until you tell us where that beef
is.

Hold up, hold up. A minute ago, you said
that we had the beef.

Very small.

We'll let you out.

But there's no cash until we see the
beef.

Right?

Right.

Oh,

fuck you. Easy. We're from Miami Vice,
ain't we?

Yeah. Miami guys come take beef.

Were they odd -looking?

Horrible faces.

Horrible clothes.

Horrible everything.

There's no big fucking surprise there,
then, is there?

Sugar? That is a bastard to get out.

I can see the beef from here.

Derek, is that beef in that there truck?

Listen, there's got to be some way we
can work this out.

What about a game of cards?

All right, my old cocker.

So what if these guys have just
disappeared with the beef and the money,

We followed them and killed them.

Hey, my next move.

E6 takes E7.

Bye -bye, Rome.

What rook?

The rook that was on e7.

No, no, no, no. I moved it from e7 to
a7.

Where? Ages ago. I can see it now. Yes,
it's on a7.

My board has a rook on e7. Well, it's
not on my board. Yuri.

I see a rook on a7.

You haven't even been watching.

It's just a game.

Again, I must win.

Do you reckon you can win?

I'll win if they don't cheat.

They will cheat.

Yeah.

I suppose I'd better cheat in all then,
hmm?

We've been this way before. I remember
that big bastard barrel.

Time for the cutting.

Wait, wait, wait.

They're moving away.

It's true here.

Yeah, I feel it in the bars.

See ya.

Can flush.

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

Have we got the right cards here?

No, look.

They're not the lucky ones, eh?

God, I always wonder why you're giving
me such a hammer in there.

Hold on, what you want about? Just us.

Travelling folks.

A bit superstitious, you see. The other
perhaps kind of charred.

Just hopes he's confidence, really.

No, no, no, no, no.

Hey, hey.

You're calling my brother a cheat.

Come on, deal him out.

Hello, young 'un.

Where's my bull?

I, uh, saw some cows earlier.

So? Well, if I was a bull, that's where
I'd want to be.

Funny fuckery.

Jeff, is he there?

Jeff? Where are they, boy?

Oh shit! Oh shit!

Oh shit! Oh shit!

I still wish I'd known before now. I
shouldn't have chosen such a cow.

I should have run away.

Did my time. I shouldn't have chosen
such a list. Such a mind. Say this.

Lost it.

Lost it.

I

still

wish I'd known before now.

Hello?

Goodbye.

We've got his beef and it's done!

Some fucker's wiped up my arse.

See, do we need it?

You're a long way from Lewisham, bud.

Get out, or we'll kill you.

She's gonna kill us if we don't get out.

Well, get out, then.

What do you want with us, bud?

You want my fucking beef, sweet meat.

Not no canvas here, son.

Now get the fuck out!

Now you see, it ain't your beef.

Is it?

Bun.

Oh, and just give it to him.

Ain't worth dying over a couple of T
-bones, eh, lads?

Just give it to him, yeah? Yeah,
whatever.

Bollocks to that.

Yes!

Yes! Yes! Fuck you, bunny!

Come on, get him.

I'm gonna get you.

I'm gonna tear off your face and show it
to you.

It was some battle. Battle, yeah.

Yeah, like the old days when men were
really men.

So what did we risk our lives for?
What's in this thing?

Let's see.

Shit.

That animal is angry.

Yuri, give it some vodka. No, I'm almost
out.

You think because I'm a potifist I have
no breaking point?

Go ahead, show us your breaking point.
Do something interesting, Yuri. No, I

will not waste my anger on insignificant
people.

Pour the vodka into the bucket. Who made
you later, all of a sudden?

I am stuck in England with paranoid
alcoholics.

and trigger happy macho man who cannot
take a joke.

See, that's what makes me the leader.

Get yourself killed.

Oh, fuck!

We must have been round in a fucking
circle!

This is Mr.

Miami Voice.

He's come a long way.

And you remember your man as sunshine.

That my beef?

Yes, it is. Beef in.

Where's the lads?

What have you done with the four lads?

The lads is not come.

Well, nothing wet.

Don't piss me off.

Oh, no, hey, we is wet, wet.

Nobody got. Hey.

You give me keys to that fucking truck,
then I'll dish dosh.

Okay.

Understood that all right, didn't you?

Could try out my new gizmo.

Jewels of Death.

You brought that with you? In the boot.

Ain't really the time for experiments.

You got till I finish this, then I want
to be on me way.

You English, drug addict, homosexual,

lick -ass of America. Tell me if this...

Yum, yum.

Gravy?

On a scale of one to ten, one being
uncomfortable,

ten being unbearable, How painful is
this?

Someone

up

there is well keen on you lot.

Now, go back to Moscow.

You reckon you know where you're going,
do you?

Look, I've got a mental map in my mind.

Mental, all right.

No, no, we've been this way.

We're in deeper shit than I thought.

I kept killing my arms.

Because you were drunk.

Look at us.

Humiliated. I will not go back to Moscow
with nothing.

Brothers, we will go back to Moscow.

Carry the heads of those twisted,
sadistic maniacs under our arms.

KGB would have loved them.

No.

Let's get some sleep, then. Sleep?

I will not rest.

I will not rest till I have revenge.

Till I have eaten their hearts.

Some...

Fucker has nicked the Prince of Wales.

The Prince of Wales?

Our bull.

Weren't that mob down there, then?

I was wondering if it might be you.

Uncle Derek, would I do that?

You've got the same blood as us, boy.

If we'd have nicked your bull, we
wouldn't be coming back here.

Not unless you've got shit for brains.

That bull was going to make us a ton of
money.

I think I know who's got your ball.

I hope this don't backfire.

Nah, we'll come up smelling of roses.

I hate using my family.

Christ's sake, Moon.

They ripped us right off. Again.

If nothing else, we get left back to
London.

You coming or what?

I suppose those lads and Bunny cancelled
each other out then.

Yeah, seems like it, yeah.

Trollies were those lads.

They always try and do things too
clever.

Yeah, pay a bout of money, though,
innit? Yeah, well, it weren't 100 grand

sterling. Oh, right.

Even in dollars, it's still a lot. It
was in Russian rubles, mate.

Not worth the pot you're pissing.

I don't need a sword.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

You're rich.

Woo, baby.

Yeah, baby.

Come on, my select.

Snooker, what in the world is this?

What? Look, this is a once in a lifetime
chance.

Afternoon, gentlemen. Put the kettle on.

Free for you. You want to blow your
nose?

There,

Miami.

I've already told you, love.

My English is small. You answer to me
slow.

Where Miami house?

He's in his warehouse.

Warehouse! Shut that, will ya?

Yes, sir guest.

With barber to Moscow. He very bad
barber. He give cut to customer

He cut head.

Head is off.

Sergei, he's off -hand.

Right.

Let's see what we got.

Mr. Weiss, I've had three men here.

I think they were Germans.

They were very angry anyway.

Looks like the Red Army's on its way.

Let's get our prince back, eh?

Babylon. Where's my fucking bull?

Get in there.

You looking for something? We look at
you, fucker. Well, come on then, let's

have it.

Looks like you'll have another chance to
try out your new contraction

free thing.

That was a gold medal winning fucking...

Briefing. I think that is what they call
an anti -climax.

Yeah. Must be dirty terms or something.

Time to fall back on more traditional
methods, I reckon.

Yeah. We go back to Russia. We don't
give you any more... You fuckers had

chance to get down from the table and
you come back for seconds.

Briefing.

Fucking animals.

Animals is better than this scum.

They skinned him.

They skinned the Prince of fucking
Wales.

Which one is he, do you reckon?

Don't even think about it, Brian.

I can't understand all this bother over
what a grand's worth of stinking beef.

Jamie, you're alive!

That is funny.

Listen, listen, I've got the beef.

And you know what? I'm feeling extra
generous today.

So you keep all of the dosh, my son, all
right?

Three feet.

Remind me to get Barbie a lovely big
bunch of flowers, will you?

It's not lamb, it's beef.

But it's premium quality, class A stuff.

This is great, lads.

My cousin's wedding's gonna have a real
feast now.

It's gonna be a huge fucking success.

I'll set up the mincer.

Oh, yes!

I think I did, Gav.