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1
00:00:13,739 --> 00:00:15,280
Hey, hon. Hey, babe.
2
00:00:18,260 --> 00:00:20,480
Aaron, what are you doing out of school?
3
00:00:20,720 --> 00:00:23,320
He got an award yesterday, so I'm giving
him a ditch day.
4
00:00:23,560 --> 00:00:26,940
Well, that must have been some award to
earn a whole day off school. What was it
5
00:00:26,940 --> 00:00:28,540
for? Perfect attendant.
6
00:00:31,940 --> 00:00:33,240
Seriously? Seriously?
7
00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:35,040
Was that a smart move?
8
00:00:35,360 --> 00:00:37,160
Are you kidding? It was genius!
9
00:00:39,850 --> 00:00:43,690
First, Steph drove me by my school so we
could laugh at everyone who had to be
10
00:00:43,690 --> 00:00:47,390
there. I sure did. And then I said,
don't tell your dad.
11
00:00:47,730 --> 00:00:49,370
Wait, she gets smarter.
12
00:00:49,790 --> 00:00:54,090
Then Steph wanted a manicure, so for me
she invented a boyacure.
13
00:00:56,190 --> 00:00:58,950
She is the smartest person I've ever
met.
14
00:00:59,270 --> 00:01:00,610
You know I'm a surgeon, right?
15
00:01:02,030 --> 00:01:03,510
Don't be jealous, Charlie.
16
00:01:03,890 --> 00:01:06,970
Green's not a good color on you. I know
that because I'm smart.
17
00:01:10,180 --> 00:01:11,180
Hello?
18
00:01:11,420 --> 00:01:12,420
Oh, shoot.
19
00:01:12,480 --> 00:01:14,020
I forgot to call in Aaron's absence.
20
00:01:14,700 --> 00:01:17,140
Uh, yes. I'm sorry. He's sick.
21
00:01:18,320 --> 00:01:19,320
What's he sick with?
22
00:01:19,800 --> 00:01:21,600
Uh, he's got a cough.
23
00:01:21,860 --> 00:01:22,860
A really bad cough.
24
00:01:23,760 --> 00:01:26,120
I don't know what kind of cough. I'm not
a doctor.
25
00:01:27,360 --> 00:01:28,800
Tell her about the Boyacure.
26
00:01:30,320 --> 00:01:31,840
Uh, it's a cough.
27
00:01:32,080 --> 00:01:34,980
You know, a whooping cough.
28
00:01:37,710 --> 00:01:39,650
Anyway, he'll be back tomorrow. Thanks
for calling. Bye.
29
00:01:40,270 --> 00:01:43,430
Oh, that is one nosy main office lady.
30
00:01:43,670 --> 00:01:45,190
Why would you say whooping cough?
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00:01:45,610 --> 00:01:47,730
Because it sounds dickier than a regular
cough.
32
00:01:49,230 --> 00:01:51,870
Wait, is whooping cough a real thing?
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00:01:52,090 --> 00:01:53,090
Because it sounds fun.
34
00:01:53,470 --> 00:01:54,470
Whoop, whoop.
35
00:01:54,850 --> 00:01:55,850
Now,
36
00:01:57,330 --> 00:02:00,710
whooping cough is a serious, highly
contagious disease.
37
00:02:00,970 --> 00:02:04,170
Put down this stethoscope, Charlie.
Nobody thinks I meant whooping cough.
38
00:02:07,310 --> 00:02:08,310
Hello?
39
00:02:09,690 --> 00:02:11,530
Oh, that's fine. Thank you.
40
00:02:12,370 --> 00:02:14,250
Yeah, they think I meant whooping cough.
41
00:02:15,930 --> 00:02:19,950
Aaron can't go back to school until he's
cleared by his doctor, and we bring in
42
00:02:19,950 --> 00:02:21,330
all his vaccination records.
43
00:02:21,610 --> 00:02:23,390
I told you he was a genius!
44
00:02:24,650 --> 00:02:26,690
I am never going back to school!
45
00:03:01,680 --> 00:03:03,400
Aaron's culture so we can get him back
in school.
46
00:03:03,760 --> 00:03:06,960
How did they get it in their heads that
he had whooping cough anyway?
47
00:03:07,540 --> 00:03:10,360
Probably some crazy mom acting all
crazy.
48
00:03:11,840 --> 00:03:14,580
I see it all the time. So do I.
49
00:03:16,620 --> 00:03:17,620
Hi, hi, hi.
50
00:03:19,320 --> 00:03:21,700
Oh, Charlie Phillips.
51
00:03:22,260 --> 00:03:23,360
Who's your friend?
52
00:03:23,980 --> 00:03:26,360
Hi, I'm Dr. Fine. Why, yes, you are.
53
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He's also leaving.
54
00:03:30,870 --> 00:03:32,330
Thanks for the house call, Percy.
55
00:03:32,830 --> 00:03:34,570
I'll see you on the green. See you
there.
56
00:03:36,170 --> 00:03:37,089
Charlie Phillips.
57
00:03:37,090 --> 00:03:38,770
No, I will not set you up.
58
00:03:39,490 --> 00:03:43,170
He is my favorite golf buddy. It's too
messy.
59
00:03:43,490 --> 00:03:45,330
Charlie Phillips! Don't you threaten me,
woman.
60
00:03:46,910 --> 00:03:50,830
All right, let's get back to all the
schoolwork your teacher sent over. You
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00:03:50,830 --> 00:03:52,430
a whole mess of math to do.
62
00:03:52,710 --> 00:03:55,010
But it's fractions. I don't understand
those.
63
00:03:55,230 --> 00:03:58,750
Oh, come on. You can do it. You can do
it because you're a genius.
64
00:04:02,160 --> 00:04:03,940
Eight eighths plus five twenty -fourths.
65
00:04:04,360 --> 00:04:05,360
Oh.
66
00:04:05,540 --> 00:04:06,540
That?
67
00:04:07,420 --> 00:04:12,640
You just, uh, you know, you, uh, grab
some of those twenty -fourths and a
68
00:04:12,640 --> 00:04:15,840
handful of those eighths, do the thing
with the other thing, get all up in
69
00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:16,840
there, and you're good.
70
00:04:18,920 --> 00:04:22,920
I must be way behind because that just
sounded like a bunch of words.
71
00:04:24,460 --> 00:04:26,420
Could you do that again, but show your
work?
72
00:04:30,640 --> 00:04:31,640
I'm sorry, buddy.
73
00:04:32,040 --> 00:04:35,520
I can't do your homework for you. That's
just unethical. Well, can you at least
74
00:04:35,520 --> 00:04:39,300
explain it? I know this doesn't have the
same bottom number, so how do I convert
75
00:04:39,300 --> 00:04:41,180
it? Give it a pamphlet and hope it comes
around?
76
00:04:43,160 --> 00:04:44,260
Oh, good.
77
00:04:44,580 --> 00:04:45,539
You're here.
78
00:04:45,540 --> 00:04:47,380
Aaron wants me to teach him fractions.
79
00:05:00,750 --> 00:05:01,950
Nope. To get me out of gym class?
80
00:05:02,170 --> 00:05:03,510
Nope. Fair enough.
81
00:05:03,770 --> 00:05:06,090
Can't I get your autograph on this
random piece of paper?
82
00:05:08,090 --> 00:05:09,150
Nice try, James.
83
00:05:09,390 --> 00:05:13,650
But, Dad, it's Dodgeball Week. There's
this big kid, Dodgeball Dave, who waits
84
00:05:13,650 --> 00:05:17,070
all year for the chance to hit kids in
the head with no repercussions.
85
00:05:17,510 --> 00:05:18,630
Only concussions.
86
00:05:20,530 --> 00:05:24,150
We've all been through this. It's part
of growing up. If you want me to grow
87
00:05:24,170 --> 00:05:26,570
sign the note. They say he's killed
before.
88
00:05:30,860 --> 00:05:34,400
I heard that Dr. Fine was coming over,
so I thought that I would ask him to
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00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:35,400
write me a prescription.
90
00:05:35,800 --> 00:05:40,080
Ten milligrams of his bad self to be
taken at bedtime.
91
00:05:43,660 --> 00:05:45,840
I told him to email the lab results.
92
00:05:46,600 --> 00:05:47,920
Why'd you have to go and do that?
93
00:05:48,220 --> 00:05:49,220
Open your coat.
94
00:05:50,300 --> 00:05:51,119
Come on.
95
00:05:51,120 --> 00:05:52,120
Open it.
96
00:05:58,500 --> 00:05:59,500
That's why.
97
00:06:01,710 --> 00:06:04,890
need is a letter saying that I have a
faulty heart from a prominent
98
00:06:04,890 --> 00:06:06,170
cardiovascular surgeon.
99
00:06:06,570 --> 00:06:08,270
But a letter from you would work, too.
100
00:06:09,170 --> 00:06:10,250
You thought that helped?
101
00:06:11,070 --> 00:06:13,690
Charlie, why won't you hook me up with
Dr. Fine?
102
00:06:13,970 --> 00:06:15,810
Because I took an oath to protect human
life.
103
00:06:16,610 --> 00:06:20,570
Don't protect mine. Write me a note.
It's getting empty. I can't tell which
104
00:06:20,570 --> 00:06:21,570
of you is more desperate.
105
00:06:21,750 --> 00:06:22,750
It's me!
106
00:06:26,130 --> 00:06:28,250
You know, Dr.
107
00:06:28,510 --> 00:06:30,450
Fine is my pediatrician.
108
00:06:30,830 --> 00:06:34,410
If you take me to see him, I get a note,
and you get a date.
109
00:06:35,390 --> 00:06:38,410
I like the way you think, James.
110
00:06:38,830 --> 00:06:40,970
In that case, I think I have a little
fever.
111
00:06:41,890 --> 00:06:43,330
I think I have one, too.
112
00:06:44,250 --> 00:06:49,950
All I need is ten milligrams... Of his
bad self. You don't have to repeat it.
113
00:06:50,030 --> 00:06:52,350
It's disturbing enough that a child
heard it once.
114
00:06:57,890 --> 00:07:00,350
Hey, Gabby, I'm making some tea. Do you
want some?
115
00:07:00,730 --> 00:07:01,549
Sure, thanks.
116
00:07:01,550 --> 00:07:05,790
Okay, but if I made you twelve and one
-eighth cups and you only drank seven
117
00:07:05,790 --> 00:07:08,970
one -fourth cups, I'd have a lot of tea
left over. How much tea would I have
118
00:07:08,970 --> 00:07:09,970
left over?
119
00:07:11,470 --> 00:07:12,469
Hold up.
120
00:07:12,470 --> 00:07:14,210
Are you giving me a word problem?
121
00:07:14,590 --> 00:07:16,810
No, but if it was, would you help a
sister out?
122
00:07:18,310 --> 00:07:19,890
Having a little trouble with Aaron's
homework?
123
00:07:20,270 --> 00:07:22,330
No, but if I was, would you help a
sister out?
124
00:07:24,390 --> 00:07:26,690
Sure, Steph. I'll help you. If you'll
help me.
125
00:07:27,030 --> 00:07:28,550
Okay. What do you want?
126
00:07:28,920 --> 00:07:30,780
Those new sneakers with the blue
bottoms.
127
00:07:31,060 --> 00:07:32,220
Those are really expensive.
128
00:07:32,660 --> 00:07:35,440
I'm asking you to teach me fractions,
not drive me to the airport.
129
00:07:36,540 --> 00:07:40,380
I have the money, but they go on sale
while I'm at school. I just need you to
130
00:07:40,380 --> 00:07:42,560
stand in line and get me a pair before
they sell out.
131
00:07:42,920 --> 00:07:43,920
I can do that.
132
00:07:44,260 --> 00:07:48,400
Okay. Walk me through his homework so I
can pretend to be smart for Aaron. He
133
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has me up on this pedestal, and I like
it there.
134
00:07:50,980 --> 00:07:52,500
I can look down on your dad.
135
00:07:53,080 --> 00:07:56,420
Hey, from up here, his head looks like a
little malted milk ball.
136
00:07:59,920 --> 00:08:00,920
Oh, this is easy.
137
00:08:01,180 --> 00:08:03,980
First, look for the lowest common
denominator.
138
00:08:04,440 --> 00:08:07,120
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Back up, math
whiz. Who do you think I am, the guy in
139
00:08:07,120 --> 00:08:08,120
the talking wheelchair?
140
00:08:09,120 --> 00:08:12,040
You ain't even the guy who played the
guy in the talking wheelchair.
141
00:08:17,680 --> 00:08:23,260
Remember, you've got a little tummy
ache, so keep the moans rolling till I
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00:08:23,260 --> 00:08:24,260
his cell phone number.
143
00:08:26,480 --> 00:08:29,500
My tummy ache's not going to be enough
to get me away from dodgeball days.
144
00:08:29,920 --> 00:08:34,799
But I've done some research. I've got a
syndrome all picked out. Keep it simple.
145
00:08:35,080 --> 00:08:37,000
We're not trying to start a telethon.
146
00:08:39,360 --> 00:08:44,280
Okay, James, what's the problem? I'm
suffering from that disease called
147
00:08:44,280 --> 00:08:46,620
-Eckbaum. Ah, restless leg syndrome.
148
00:08:46,900 --> 00:08:49,320
Yeah, it's really going to be a problem
for gym class.
149
00:08:49,680 --> 00:08:53,520
Oh, there it goes again. Can't dodge a
ball with these crazy limbs.
150
00:08:55,050 --> 00:08:57,590
Or he could just be hopped up on
chocolate.
151
00:08:57,830 --> 00:08:59,210
Do you like chocolate?
152
00:08:59,810 --> 00:09:00,810
No.
153
00:09:01,650 --> 00:09:06,410
Well, I doubt if you've got restless
legs, but let's check it out. Oh, it's
154
00:09:06,410 --> 00:09:07,690
really bad today.
155
00:09:08,350 --> 00:09:10,130
There it goes again.
156
00:09:10,490 --> 00:09:13,710
It always wants to go west. There must
be rain coming.
157
00:09:16,230 --> 00:09:17,970
Why don't I just hold it?
158
00:09:19,070 --> 00:09:21,070
I love your bedside manner.
159
00:09:21,430 --> 00:09:23,350
Is it good by any bed or...
160
00:09:23,640 --> 00:09:25,040
Just the ones with paper.
161
00:09:27,820 --> 00:09:32,600
Miss Turner, I think your grandson has a
little case of I want to skip school
162
00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:33,840
-itis, if you know what I mean.
163
00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:39,480
James, stop wasting the doctor's time.
164
00:09:40,160 --> 00:09:41,560
I'm so sorry.
165
00:09:42,580 --> 00:09:47,280
It's difficult being a single
grandmother who's still in her prime.
166
00:09:48,760 --> 00:09:51,920
Oh, it's okay. You can waste my time
whenever you want.
167
00:09:54,510 --> 00:09:55,510
Really, Dr.
168
00:09:55,610 --> 00:09:57,870
Fine. Who do I care?
169
00:09:58,230 --> 00:09:59,550
I get paid either way.
170
00:10:03,670 --> 00:10:04,950
This is your fault.
171
00:10:05,210 --> 00:10:08,630
All your wiggling distracted him from my
flirting.
172
00:10:08,910 --> 00:10:09,910
You call that flirting?
173
00:10:10,410 --> 00:10:13,150
Yeesh. No wonder you need a 13 -year
-old wingman.
174
00:10:18,190 --> 00:10:20,050
Where are my shoes? Where are my shoes?
Where are my shoes?
175
00:10:20,430 --> 00:10:23,130
Oh, hey, Gabby. How was school? You want
some trail mix?
176
00:10:23,470 --> 00:10:26,460
Where? in shoe, shoe, shoes, did you
hear trail mix?
177
00:10:27,800 --> 00:10:31,500
I didn't get them. I am so sorry. Want a
raisin?
178
00:10:32,940 --> 00:10:34,780
I want my blue bottom sneakers.
179
00:10:35,200 --> 00:10:36,200
What happened?
180
00:10:36,240 --> 00:10:41,120
Well, the line was moving slow. I saw
these pants, and by the time I tried
181
00:10:41,120 --> 00:10:42,540
on, all the blue bottoms were gone.
182
00:10:42,860 --> 00:10:47,340
You stepped out of line for pants? They
were high -waisted. You know that's my
183
00:10:47,340 --> 00:10:48,340
jam.
184
00:10:48,980 --> 00:10:51,060
I saved up forever for those.
185
00:10:51,360 --> 00:10:52,880
I know. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
186
00:10:53,480 --> 00:10:54,620
Here's your money back.
187
00:10:56,540 --> 00:10:57,940
Why are there coins?
188
00:10:58,480 --> 00:11:01,940
Well, I knew you'd be upset, so I bought
you your favorite pretzel.
189
00:11:03,360 --> 00:11:04,820
This is half a pretzel.
190
00:11:06,060 --> 00:11:07,220
There was a lot of traffic.
191
00:11:09,300 --> 00:11:11,200
Make way for the Mads King.
192
00:11:11,700 --> 00:11:14,560
I got A's on all that work you helped me
with, Steph.
193
00:11:14,760 --> 00:11:16,160
Good job, buddy.
194
00:11:16,360 --> 00:11:17,920
I guess I'm one of the smartest parents.
195
00:11:18,280 --> 00:11:19,300
I guess you did.
196
00:11:19,980 --> 00:11:20,980
Give me five.
197
00:11:21,200 --> 00:11:22,200
Careful, buddy.
198
00:11:22,650 --> 00:11:25,490
She'll just leave you hanging when she
sees a pair of mom jeans.
199
00:11:27,430 --> 00:11:28,430
What happened?
200
00:11:28,570 --> 00:11:30,690
Thanks to Stephanie, I don't have blue
bottoms.
201
00:11:30,970 --> 00:11:32,290
Ooh, blue bottom.
202
00:11:32,630 --> 00:11:33,630
That's a good symptom.
203
00:11:35,730 --> 00:11:37,670
Guess what, Stephanie? No, no. Wait.
204
00:11:37,890 --> 00:11:39,290
Please, let me tell her.
205
00:11:40,010 --> 00:11:44,570
Aaron signed you up for the parent
versus teacher's math competition.
206
00:11:47,030 --> 00:11:48,470
He signed me up for what now?
207
00:11:50,830 --> 00:11:51,709
the Smarty Bowl.
208
00:11:51,710 --> 00:11:54,950
They do it every year. I put you down as
team captain.
209
00:11:57,090 --> 00:11:59,390
Why? Why would you do that?
210
00:11:59,750 --> 00:12:02,690
Uh, because you're the smartest person
he knows.
211
00:12:06,870 --> 00:12:10,470
You get to show the whole school how
smart you are at math.
212
00:12:10,950 --> 00:12:11,950
Wow.
213
00:12:12,370 --> 00:12:13,370
Smarty Bowl.
214
00:12:13,410 --> 00:12:16,710
This news is like five -eighths as good
as getting my shoes.
215
00:12:22,440 --> 00:12:23,439
What do you think?
216
00:12:23,440 --> 00:12:26,760
Tomorrow you need to smudge more of that
purple shadow under your eyes. You
217
00:12:26,760 --> 00:12:29,060
don't look thick enough to get that gym
note from Dr. Fine.
218
00:12:29,280 --> 00:12:33,000
Yeah, but I'll be good once Grandma
Maggie starts flirting and I start
219
00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:34,000
up.
220
00:12:35,480 --> 00:12:39,180
Stephanie's making me want to throw up.
I helped that woman and she sold me out
221
00:12:39,180 --> 00:12:39,979
for Pam.
222
00:12:39,980 --> 00:12:42,280
Were they high -waisted? Because you
know that's her jam.
223
00:12:44,400 --> 00:12:45,580
Gabby, can we talk?
224
00:12:46,140 --> 00:12:47,680
I'll be behind the curtain. Why?
225
00:12:48,460 --> 00:12:51,160
I'm wearing smoky eye. I don't need to
go all up in my business.
226
00:12:55,000 --> 00:13:01,140
Look, I know you're still mad at me, and
I'm really sorry. So, here.
227
00:13:02,520 --> 00:13:03,520
My sneakers?
228
00:13:06,360 --> 00:13:07,360
Orange bottoms?
229
00:13:07,540 --> 00:13:08,540
They're no cops.
230
00:13:19,630 --> 00:13:22,750
I saved you a lot of money. Only you,
me, and that one -eyed guy from the
231
00:13:22,750 --> 00:13:23,750
hardware store need to know.
232
00:13:26,030 --> 00:13:31,170
Oh, and I could use your help with one
more little thing. Let me guess. You
233
00:13:31,170 --> 00:13:32,630
me to coach you through that Smarty
Bowl.
234
00:13:32,970 --> 00:13:34,890
Please? I need you to teach me.
235
00:13:35,130 --> 00:13:38,990
You know, not a lot, just enough to win
and stay on Aaron's pedestal.
236
00:13:39,490 --> 00:13:41,310
There's no way I could teach you that
much.
237
00:13:42,490 --> 00:13:43,490
Are you sure?
238
00:13:43,690 --> 00:13:44,690
Well, what am I going to do?
239
00:13:45,990 --> 00:13:48,290
Well, I bet they've already written all
the questions.
240
00:13:48,810 --> 00:13:50,790
Maybe I can get you the answers in
advance.
241
00:13:51,690 --> 00:13:52,690
You mean cheat?
242
00:13:53,070 --> 00:13:57,110
It's not like it's a test. It's a game.
You always cheat at games. Miss triple
243
00:13:57,110 --> 00:13:59,330
word score on a made up word. Hey, hey,
hey.
244
00:13:59,690 --> 00:14:01,090
Zyquick is a real word.
245
00:14:02,490 --> 00:14:03,730
Use it in a sentence.
246
00:14:04,490 --> 00:14:07,050
Stephanie won the game and you're being
a really big Zyquick.
247
00:14:09,190 --> 00:14:11,330
Fine. I cheat a little.
248
00:14:12,310 --> 00:14:13,790
So how are you going to get me those
answers?
249
00:14:14,110 --> 00:14:15,230
Have you met James?
250
00:14:16,650 --> 00:14:17,650
Enough said.
251
00:14:23,560 --> 00:14:27,240
You're going to give Steph fake answers
to blurt out during the Smarty Bowl for
252
00:14:27,240 --> 00:14:28,620
maximum humiliation.
253
00:14:29,020 --> 00:14:30,180
How'd you put all that together?
254
00:14:30,480 --> 00:14:31,480
Have you met James?
255
00:14:36,320 --> 00:14:37,320
Listen up.
256
00:14:37,420 --> 00:14:42,920
No crazy symptoms. No hyphenated
diseases. We cannot get in each other's
257
00:14:42,920 --> 00:14:43,920
this time.
258
00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:45,800
Hi, James.
259
00:14:46,140 --> 00:14:47,039
You're back.
260
00:14:47,040 --> 00:14:48,040
Let me guess.
261
00:14:48,180 --> 00:14:49,280
Final exam's coming up.
262
00:14:49,480 --> 00:14:51,620
Actually, I've been suffering from some
kind of...
263
00:15:01,640 --> 00:15:02,640
That doesn't sound good.
264
00:15:03,560 --> 00:15:05,120
You know what does sound good?
265
00:15:06,160 --> 00:15:07,540
Calamari for two on the pier.
266
00:15:09,840 --> 00:15:11,920
Well, this kind of confirms one of my
fears.
267
00:15:12,320 --> 00:15:15,900
You know, I've been going over your
charts, and I found an anomaly.
268
00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:20,540
Great. So I have an anomaly. Write me
that note, kiss my grandma, and we'll be
269
00:15:20,540 --> 00:15:21,540
on our way.
270
00:15:21,660 --> 00:15:22,660
Well, you will be.
271
00:15:23,180 --> 00:15:24,180
Here's some bus money.
272
00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:29,000
I'm very concerned about James.
273
00:15:29,220 --> 00:15:30,380
I think we need to run some tests.
274
00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:31,600
Tests?
275
00:15:33,040 --> 00:15:36,160
You know what? I'm feeling a lot better.
Kids get over things fast.
276
00:15:37,760 --> 00:15:38,940
You never get over this.
277
00:15:42,280 --> 00:15:46,460
So to estimate how much time you have
left, my colleague's going to come in
278
00:15:46,460 --> 00:15:48,060
take a real quick gallon of blood.
279
00:15:48,440 --> 00:15:51,340
Gallon? I don't have a gallon to give.
280
00:15:52,960 --> 00:15:53,960
Let's find out.
281
00:15:57,520 --> 00:15:58,600
Fuck it up, kid.
282
00:16:05,640 --> 00:16:06,640
I'll tell y 'all no.
283
00:16:12,580 --> 00:16:14,260
Okay. You pumped?
284
00:16:14,520 --> 00:16:16,100
You ready? I can do this.
285
00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:17,600
Thanks to you.
286
00:16:17,820 --> 00:16:19,700
Are you sure you remember all the
answers?
287
00:16:19,940 --> 00:16:23,960
Absolutely. We start off with Hoppy the
squirrel weighs three and two -thirds
288
00:16:23,960 --> 00:16:27,000
pounds. Then Roderick ate twelve and one
-third cupcakes.
289
00:16:27,300 --> 00:16:28,300
Yada, yada, yada.
290
00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:33,080
Aaron still worships me. Then we go get
pizza, which, incidentally, Clark has
291
00:16:33,080 --> 00:16:34,720
one -sixth of.
292
00:16:36,460 --> 00:16:41,640
Answer number nine. Look at you. Oh,
they're all going to be looking at me.
293
00:16:41,980 --> 00:16:42,980
That's the plan.
294
00:16:44,660 --> 00:16:47,520
Step, I've been talking a bunch of
snacks to the teachers for you.
295
00:16:47,920 --> 00:16:48,920
What's this?
296
00:16:49,040 --> 00:16:49,999
Hey, Mr.
297
00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:53,360
Felix, my stepmom is going to own you.
298
00:17:00,800 --> 00:17:05,300
Hey, do you guys know any of this stuff?
Because I don't. Don't look at me. I
299
00:17:05,300 --> 00:17:07,359
haven't done fifth grade math since
seventh grade.
300
00:17:08,980 --> 00:17:12,060
Guys, no worries. I'm going to win this
for us.
301
00:17:12,380 --> 00:17:13,819
Well, someone's a know -it -all.
302
00:17:14,020 --> 00:17:16,420
I'm not being a know -it -all. I just
know it.
303
00:17:16,720 --> 00:17:17,720
All.
304
00:17:18,300 --> 00:17:22,560
Welcome to the Smarty Bowl, our fifth
grade math competition between our
305
00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:25,339
smartest teachers and our smartest
parents.
306
00:17:26,260 --> 00:17:28,520
Mrs. Phillips, what are you doing here?
307
00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:34,600
In the next 20 minutes... I'll be wiping
the floor with all of the teachers,
308
00:17:34,740 --> 00:17:38,140
okay? Not a half, not a third, all of
them.
309
00:17:38,680 --> 00:17:39,680
Fractions!
310
00:17:42,380 --> 00:17:43,380
Classy.
311
00:17:44,640 --> 00:17:45,720
First question.
312
00:17:46,360 --> 00:17:51,320
Darren has 14 apples, and Susie wants
one -ninth of the apples. How many
313
00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:52,320
does she want?
314
00:17:53,100 --> 00:17:55,100
Hoppy the squirrel weighs three and two
-third pounds.
315
00:17:56,360 --> 00:17:59,080
She said apples. Why are you answering
in squirrels?
316
00:18:00,590 --> 00:18:05,370
That was wrong, Mrs. Phillips. Not half
wrong, not a third wrong, all wrong.
317
00:18:06,210 --> 00:18:07,210
Fractions.
318
00:18:11,170 --> 00:18:13,330
Susie wants one and five ninths apples.
319
00:18:13,670 --> 00:18:15,590
Correct. Point teachers.
320
00:18:16,150 --> 00:18:18,130
Huh? That was weird.
321
00:18:18,490 --> 00:18:20,390
Don't worry, guys. I'll get the next
one.
322
00:18:21,270 --> 00:18:22,270
Second question.
323
00:18:23,070 --> 00:18:26,450
Julia received three and five eighths
pounds of Halloween candy.
324
00:18:26,830 --> 00:18:29,670
Marty received two and three quarters
pounds.
325
00:18:30,560 --> 00:18:32,580
How many pounds of candy did they have
combined?
326
00:18:33,600 --> 00:18:35,980
Wait, who's Marty and Julia?
327
00:18:36,300 --> 00:18:37,920
And what do they do with Roderick?
328
00:18:38,920 --> 00:18:42,660
Who's Roderick? Roderick's the little
fat kid who ate twelve and one -third
329
00:18:42,660 --> 00:18:43,660
cupcakes?
330
00:18:44,480 --> 00:18:49,000
Mrs. Phillips, my cat landed on my face
at 4 a .m.
331
00:18:49,320 --> 00:18:50,780
This is not the day.
332
00:18:53,480 --> 00:18:56,080
He received six and three -eighths
pounds of candy.
333
00:19:00,170 --> 00:19:02,310
Stephanie does not know math, does she?
334
00:19:02,530 --> 00:19:03,770
She does not.
335
00:19:05,510 --> 00:19:06,510
I see.
336
00:19:06,670 --> 00:19:10,290
When this is over, can you take me to go
get some muffin baskets for my teachers
337
00:19:10,290 --> 00:19:13,390
because I have had some things.
338
00:19:15,770 --> 00:19:17,990
I thought you knew this stuff. I do.
339
00:19:18,830 --> 00:19:19,830
I did.
340
00:19:19,950 --> 00:19:22,730
She's asking different questions than
the ones I got from...
341
00:19:35,110 --> 00:19:36,550
I guess I should have gotten you out of
gym.
342
00:19:37,170 --> 00:19:39,130
In my defense, you're usually lying.
343
00:19:39,390 --> 00:19:43,930
Didn't matter. Gym got canceled.
Instead, during history class, Dodgeball
344
00:19:43,930 --> 00:19:45,830
picked up a globe and threw that at me.
345
00:19:47,510 --> 00:19:48,990
He hit you with a globe?
346
00:19:49,270 --> 00:19:52,810
No, I ducked, but then I ran out the
door and forgot to open it.
347
00:19:55,550 --> 00:19:57,270
Hey, how'd the Smarty Bowl go?
348
00:19:57,470 --> 00:19:58,950
Pretty much blew up in my face.
349
00:19:59,350 --> 00:20:01,990
A smart parent would have known not to
cheat.
350
00:20:02,770 --> 00:20:05,870
You know, Charlie, You're being a real
Zyquix.
351
00:20:06,330 --> 00:20:07,390
Still not a word.
352
00:20:09,370 --> 00:20:11,710
Stephanie, why didn't you just tell me
you couldn't do math?
353
00:20:12,070 --> 00:20:14,450
Well, I liked that you were getting all
excited about me.
354
00:20:14,650 --> 00:20:17,090
I'll always be excited about you. Your
stuff.
355
00:20:18,370 --> 00:20:20,030
Anyway, you're good at other stuff.
356
00:20:20,370 --> 00:20:23,830
Mom stuff, fun stuff, and your skin is
fabulous.
357
00:20:25,490 --> 00:20:29,170
Well, I'm good at school stuff, too.
Well, everything but math.
358
00:20:29,390 --> 00:20:31,430
Really? You know it.
359
00:20:31,710 --> 00:20:33,030
That's great, because...
360
00:20:33,350 --> 00:20:36,530
For my science homework, I have to build
an electrical circuit that can power a
361
00:20:36,530 --> 00:20:37,530
light bulb.
362
00:20:37,770 --> 00:20:39,570
Oh. Good luck to you, buddy.
28355
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