Original subtitles

You've had the TV all day. It's the season finale of Project Cupcake, and

seen the SpongeBob 50 times.

I've seen them all 50 times.

What's your point?

Karen, just give me the remote. No, I want to watch Project Cupcake. Hey,

guys, keep it down. I'm on the phone with the caterer. Look, my client is an

animal rights foundation. I think they'll notice if you wrap the asparagus

veal.

Stephanie, Gabby turned off SpongeBob.

Gabby, it's Aaron's turn with the TV. Now, let me do my work.

Turkey bacon is also meat.

When was the last time you planted a turkey?

Gibby Gabby, Steph said it's my turn to have the TV.

Fine, but it's my turn to have the remote.

Jasmine, girl, if you win with that chantilly frosting on a red velvet, I

lose it.

Stephanie!

Seriously? I've been waiting all season for this, and you're going to Stephanie

over some cartoon you have memorized?

Some cartoon? Some cartoon?

Some cartoon?

Stephanie!

Hey, hey, hey, what did I say?

Are you out of your mind, lamb?

Look, it's not only meat, it's the most adorable out of all the meat.

Just have your supervisor call me.

Hey, check it. Grandma Maggie just bought me the coolest game, Tarantula

Splatter Party.

I need only one little attachment to play.

What, like an adapter?

No. I mean a 3D TV.

But once we get it, I might need that adapter.

The answer is no.

I'm glad to hear that. Because the question is, can we not buy a 3D TV?

Hey!

Hi, hi, hi!

Did you know that you got a big old scratch on your car?

What? When did that happen?

About 30 seconds ago when I drove in.

Can't we please watch Spongebob? Really, Curtis?

I got your message.

Well, actually, that message was for your husband.

But here you are.

Again.

So what's going on with Aaron?

Aaron and his little friend Sanders thought it would be funny to teach the

children pig Latin.

Apparently, the whole class thinks my earthshay makes me look umpy -fray.

Well, those shoulder pads aren't your best friend, but I think it works.

I'm not wearing shoulder pads.

Then the kids might be irate.

Way to miss the point, Mrs. Phillips.

Now, back to our little problem. This morning, Sanders also said... Wait,

hold up.

I'm hearing a lot about this Sanders kid, but I don't see his parents being

dragged down here. And you won't, because Sanders is imaginary.

Aaron has an imaginary friend?

Well, that's not a big deal, right?

Well, not at all. I once had a student like Aaron.

Poor child had a defective stepmother, too.

I invented an imaginary friend to help him deal with the pain, and he turned

fine. Ish.

So you're saying Aaron needs an imaginary friend because of me? Did I

No. Do I think that?

Mrs.

Goldsnold says you never should have married me.

What? Did you have your parent -teacher conference over margaritas?

Aaron has an imaginary friend, and she's blaming me.

An imaginary friend?

You mean Sanders is back?

You know about Sanders?

Sure. He shows up once in a while.

And you don't think that's weird?

No. I had an imaginary friend when I was his age.

Calvin Antler.

Part man, part elk.

We fought crime together.

I was his sidekick.

You weren't even the hero of your own fantasy life?

Who did you call yourself?

Low self -esteem boy.

No, I was Charlie.

But I spelled it with a Y.

I'm just saying, there's nothing weird about a kid having an imaginary friend.

Honey, the book sells.

Imaginary friends can be brought on by anxiety over changes in a child's

environment. Like me starting a business, for example.

Yesterday, Aaron needed my help with Gabby, but I was too busy working.

It has nothing to do with you or your job. This is a phase Aaron's going

through. Like when James called me Papa for a month.

Just ignore Sanders.

No, no, no, no. We need to embrace Sanders and treat him like he's real.

him like he's real?

If I imagine anything, it'll be that we have less kids.

Honey, according to the book, if we don't treat Sanders like he's real,

stifle Aaron's creativity.

Well, he's plenty creative.

Yesterday, I saw him calling a kitchen sponge Bob.

Oh, I just got that.

Honey, if this is my fault, let me fix it my way.

Fine.

I wonder what happened to old Calvin Antler.

He used to talk about opening a restaurant.

I was going to be his sous chef.

Maybe we should have dated longer.

Sanders is here and he was watching that.

Sanders is back? I hate that idiot.

He's always insulting me. But he's funny.

What's that, Sanders?

That's a good one, but a little too far.

She is my sister.

Thank you, Aaron.

He says you should get dressed with the lights on.

Don't engage, Gabby. You're better than that.

He says no, you're not.

Bad news, James. Sanders is back.

Sanders? The dude from your head?

He's funny.

Loves the one about Gabby having big old feet.

Yeah, well, at least my feet are visible.

From space.

Dana said it.

Classic Sanders.

Hey, Aaron. There you are.

Guess what?

I canceled a couple of meetings, canceled on a few clients, so we can

whole afternoon together making cookies.

You, me, and Sanders.

Hey, you know what we can do while we eat those cookies?

Order ourselves a new 3D TV.

They'll take your engagement ring and trade. I've already had it appraised.

Let it go, James.

Come on, Aaron.

Come on, Sanders.

All right, would you and Sanders like chocolate? chip cookies or oatmeal

Sanders says a why too.

Two batches coming up. If we have extra, me and Sanders can take them to school.

Actually, Sanders can't go to school anymore.

He got suspended.

Okay, I'll leave him at home.

He was being a nuisance anyway.

Hi, hi, hi.

So, the car guys gave me an estimate for your teeny...

You got me silver nail polish.

Silver? My car's blue. Charlie's at silver.

I know.

You hit Charlie's car, too?

Why are you all up in my business?

So what are we doing?

Tepi's making cookies for me and Sanders.

Sanders is Aaron's friend who we all can plainly see in this kitchen right now.

Actually, Sanders went to the backyard.

We're going to play hide and seek.

She's amazing at...

I can't stand imaginary friends.

I remember when you had one. I had one? Oh, you don't remember Peggy.

Peggy, little Peggy.

Complained about everything, even when you were fine with it.

Ugly child.

As I imagined her.

I don't remember her at all. Well, you and I were going to fly to visit your

Aunt Cecile.

And you refused to go unless I bought Peggy home soon.

You did that?

No!

I backed up over Peggy in the driveway.

End of Peggy, end of story.

Well, things are different around here because I happen to honor and respect my

kids' feelings.

Yeah.

I love you. Oh, shut up about that TV!

Fair enough.

Hey, Jade.

Hey, Dad.

How's it going?

Don't sit there.

Oh? My friend Ignatius is sitting there. He's having a rough time.

Say hello to him.

Ignatius?

Yeah, he's a poor little orphan I've taken in.

What are you up to, Jane?

Up to?

Nothing. Iggy is just a poor little kid who needs a place to stay.

Some acceptance and maybe a few things she's never had before.

Uh, okay.

But he's not getting any money. Oh, he doesn't want money, Papa.

You're right, Ignatius. My dad is a pretty good guy.

He's a heart surgeon.

He's my hero.

Oh, whatever you're trying to pull, James, it's not going to work.

Sorry, Iggy. We don't have one of those.

What was that? One of what?

Nothing. Iggy was just asking about something. It's not important.

No, no, no, no. What was he asking about?

Nothing. He just wanted to know if he had anything to help keep his mind off

his painful life situation.

Mm -hmm.

Like, uh, 3D TV? Ha!

A 3D TV.

Now the world is spinning the right direction. Thank you, thank you, thank

Charlie with a Y always gets his man.

Nice of you to finally get here.

Finally get here? Are you kidding me? As soon as I got your text, I canceled two

meetings, raced through traffic, and broke a hill out in the parking lot.

Apology accepted.

Now, Mrs. Phillips, I... I felt I was very clear about Aaron not bringing his

friend Sanders back to school.

Yes, and I told Aaron not to. And yet tell me who Aaron's out there pushing on

the swing.

Oh, come on.

You need to take Sanders home.

Wait a minute.

You had me come all the way out here to pick up an imaginary kid? Well, one of

them has to go. So, Aaron or Sanders, your choice. Sanders!

I'm ready for the next time Sanders is mean to me. Go ahead. Give me your best

insult. I don't want to insult you.

Oh, come on. You got to insult me so I can hit you with my comeback.

Gabby, I'm not going to insult my own daughter. Oh, please, Dad.

I know you won't mean it. Just go.

You're so ugly.

Ugly?

Why'd you pick that?

I mean, I did, but it's just the first thing that came to me.

But why that?

Gabby, it's just something people say. You're obviously not ugly, so... Okay,

okay, all right.

Pick something else. I really don't want to.

Come on, come on.

Uh, you're so dumb.

Dumb?

Seriously? Gabby, I don't really think you're dumb. What, dumb?

You know what? I'll just take my dumb, ugly face up to my room.

Nice parenting.

Do you want a high five or just a fist bump?

Stephanie, I'm sorry Santa was at school today. But I couldn't help it. He

followed me. Well, from now on, he's not allowed to do that. Got it? Got it. So

where is he now? Not in the house.

Where is he?

Well, um, if he's not here, then he must be...

When's the last time we talked?

That must have been lunch at Delano's downtown.

I had the salmon salad, and he had the peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

Peanut butter? Oh, no.

Oh, no, what, what?

He's allergic to peanuts.

Really? Well, he didn't say anything.

Probably because his throat was closing up. You killed him. No, no, no, no, no,

no, no.

No.

Now I remember.

It did get a little puffy, but I just used his EpiPen. He looked for that home

today. I realized that, so I made one. I stuck it in his arm, and everything was

okay. It only worked in his thigh.

I realized that as well.

So I took him to the hospital.

What hospital?

Well, uh, your dad's, of course.

Great! Then we can go see him, right?

Right. What?

Do you want a high five or just a fist bump?

Hey, buddy.

Bro, what you got there?

Cookies? Yep, I'm bringing some to Fanny's in the hospital.

Chocolate chips, favorite.

Fanny's is going to have to recuperate at home for a while. You know what will

help pass the time away?

Fish tank?

It's like a fish tank. You can watch other things aside from fish on it.

So what's a bear tank?

You know what? Not important.

Guess again.

It's a box and the number three is involved.

Oh, Sudoku.

It's a 3D TV.

Sanders wants a 3D TV.

Over a bear tank?

That doesn't sound like Sanders.

Well, why don't we just call the hospital and ask him?

Hello?

Hospital?

I'd like to speak to Sanders, please.

Yes. Uh -oh.

Oh.

Hey, Sanders.

Hang on a sec.

Hi, Sanders.

James wants to know if... Oh.

Okay, no problem.

See you soon.

Wait. You didn't ask him.

I wouldn't wait as long as I could, James.

But, dude, it's not a real phone.

All right, buddy.

Here.

Let's make this really quick.

He's asleep.

He's awake now.

Say hello, say goodbye. Don't want to wear them out. Charlie, Aaron just wants

to read Sanders a story and maybe share a pudding cup. Yes, to the story, we

have pudding at home.

Yes, to the story of the emperor's new clothes.

You've got to be kidding me.

Who are you people?

I thought you got Sanders a private room. I thought I did, too.

Can you give us a minute? Can you give me some morphine?

Here, let me help you back to bed.

Charlie, Sanders.

Stephanie, patient.

This Sanders thing has gone on way too long. You've got to end it right now.

You're right.

You're right.

Aaron, sweetie, here's the deal with Sanders.

Sanders is up and walking. Let's go to the gift shop and buy him all the

Okay.

Can we talk?

Okay.

We've been spending a lot more time together, right?

Yeah. And we've been having a lot more fun.

Two kinds of cookies can't be mad at that.

Then isn't it maybe time for Sanders to leave?

I don't see how the two are related.

Look, honey, I know what this is really about, okay? And I'm sorry.

I've been busy with my new job, and it's only natural for you to feel lonely and

want to bring Sanders back.

why he came back.

It isn't?

No. Gabby kept hogging the TV, and it's really hard for me to be mad at her. So

sometimes, Sanders comes to help me.

Wait a minute.

So he's not here because I'm a bad stepmom?

No, you're great! Yes!

All right, get your backpack. It's time for school.

What about Sanders?

I'll look after Sanders.

Actually, that didn't go too well last time.

I'll just stay here with him.

No, you're going to go get your backpack.

It's okay, bloody. I'm not going anywhere.

Aaron, I'm counting to three.

She does too, know how.

Wait a minute.

Did Sanders just take a shot at me?

All right, that's it.

He's not there anymore.

Nope. Just tell me where he is.

You know what? I have had enough of you. And to think I baked you cookies.

So long, Sanders!

Aaron, get your backpack. We're leaving for school right now.

Did you just throw Sanders out in the yard?

Yes, I did. Problem?

I'm just saying, isn't that what Grandma Maggie did to your imaginary friend?

Completely different.

Grandma Maggie ran over Peggy with her car. I only threw him in the yard. He's

fine.

Well,

looks like I took care of your little problem.

On a related note, you're going to need a new mailbox.

I've got a few words for Sanders.

Did somebody leave a bag of trash in here?

Or is that just Sanders?

Bam!

When Sanders was born, the doctor slapped his mother. What?

And you can tell him there's plenty more where that came from.

I thought Grandma Maggie ran Sanders over this morning.

She did. I'm just letting Gabby work through some things.