Original subtitles

This episode of The Latest Buzz is filmed before a live audience.

Of all days to forget my purse, I had to pick today.

Whoa, lookie here.

You starting a band, DJ?

Oh, the kids think they're going to be rock stars. You know, they said they'd

clean up. And you bought that.

I didn't even think about it. I have an engagement party to plan. Oh, and by the

way, when I said that I didn't need help with the party, that was my woman way

of saying I might need help, not go waste the afternoon fishing.

And going fishing was my man way of saying I'm not good with subtlety.

Shepard, you'll never catch anything anyway.

Look, DJ, just because I've never had a big catch, or a little catch, or been

around when someone else had one, doesn't mean today isn't shepherd time.

You're not good at seeing patterns, are you?

Yeah!

Not your manhood, that's for sure.

How dare those little monkeys sneak in here on a Saturday?

It sure was neat of Boss Man to let us rehearse here.

Now the song we play for DJ Mr. S tonight will rule.

I can't think of a better gift. Me singing.

And me being there as a double gift.

Yeah, nothing says happy engagement like a present that can be split five ways

for zero dollars a piece.

And only needs to be rehearsed once before I can get out of here.

This is the sweetest thing ever. We can't go out there now. It'll ruin the

surprise. Well, what are we going to do then?

Well, how long can it take to play one song?

One, two, three, four. Stop!

I got something to say, and it could take a while.

Sitting in class, watching a time pad. Can't wait to get out and hang out with

my friends.

Find out what's new, who's passing on who.

I may have nothing to do, but I don't want to do it here.

Is this about how you renamed your belly button Jelly Bean Holder again?

It's not. Although, if you guys want a snack, I'm packing. Ew.

Here's the deal. You all know my dad's opening his own bike courier business.

Peking Wonton Gardens Couriers? Hard to forget.

The sign came with their building. Who replaced a neon dragon anyway?

Wilder, the universe is waiting for me to sing. Get on with it.

Next month, I'm quitting Buzz to join the family business.

What?

No. How could you eat the buzz?

I'm planning on using the elevator.

Or a jet pack.

Wilder, we need to talk.

Guy conference now.

Michael, you coming?

Yes, definitely.

Man, this show wouldn't have happened last year.

This is horrible.

A tragedy. You knew these kids wouldn't be here forever.

Not that.

A boy's got to do what a boy's got to do.

Calm down. They'll play the song, and the next thing you know, you'll be at

salon, and I'll be knee -deep in fish land.

That doesn't even make any sense.

Well, it's the language of the sea, DJ. I wouldn't expect you to understand.

I understand it means you're not going to catch anything.

We will see about that.

Can I talk to you for a sec?

Are you going to teach me about makeup again?

I kind of gave up on that.

You told me to make decisions based on signs from the universe.

No, I don't believe in signs.

I said, life is a series of random events with no purpose.

And I took that as a sign that I was right.

Anywho, I think while they're leaving, the buzz is a sign.

Of what?

I've been chatting online with this guy named Lachlan, and he's amazing.

We LOL at the same things.

W -O -W.

Sounds like your soulmate.

I know.

One problem.

Lachlan lives in Australia.

That is far, far away. I guess you'll have to just forget the whole thing.

There's a reason I met Lachlan. And it's like you said, everything happens for a

reason.

Actually, what I said was, sometimes things just happen and there is no

And I said that as a reason to ignore you.

Oh, dear.

Wilder, you can't leave. Who's going to write the gaming reviews?

I think Buzz can find some other kid who plays video games. Those kids are pale

and sickly, and at some point I have to stand beside them for a photo.

Shudder.

My decision is final.

I'm quitting.

There's no way Wilder's leaving.

If he does, do you think he'll let me take his desk? His is way more feng shui

than mine. Nobody ever says feng shui at a guy conference.

Try to act like you've been here before.

No way. Come with?

Yes, I love you.

Girl talk, now.

Not you, Michael.

Of course.

Man, this so wouldn't have happened last year.

Gotta respect my man power.

Oh, what's up? I have the most amazing news. You decided to drop that whole

online crush thing? Yes.

Good for you. It's too hard to maintain an online crush, which...

I'm going to meet Lachlan in person.

But he lives in Australia, where Daddy's going in a week. He said I could come

with. You don't want to go to Australia.

You could get bitten by a snake or laughed at by a kookaburra.

What travel brochure did you read?

Australia's nothing but warm weather, cute koalas, and a hottie named Lachlan.

Oh, and don't tell Daddy I'm going to a strange country to meet a boy.

He'd flip.

Your dad has a point.

Dating a local boy will reduce your carbon footprint.

Why is this magician's box here?

It was used for some hippo photo shoot.

Raider eraser.

We make zits disappear.

Well, actually, it just dries them up until they flake off.

Or so my brother says.

Whoa. I'm in a box that makes you disappear.

And soon I'll really disappear.

You're not disappearing anywhere.

Sorry, guys, but peeking in Wonton Garden's couriers means me.

What are you doing?

I'm not letting you out until you agree to stay at the buzz.

Wait, you can't do that. Thank you, Michael. How will he play the drums?

point.

I have an idea.

Why is Wilder locked in a box?

Because it amuses me.

I'm locking him in until he says he's staying at the buzz.

Here's your drum, box boy.

And what makes you think I'm going to play after you lock me up?

So you can tell people you once played drums in a magician's box. Oh, that is

good.

Stick.

One, two, three, four. Hold on.

I have to call DJ.

My cell phone. They're going to know I'm here.

Yes, they'd find out. We could leave and go on with our day as planned. What a

horrible thought.

Hey, Nick.

Cut that tape.

Carpet swatches.

My ukulele. That's where that went.

Hi, DJ. It's Rebecca.

Hi, Rebecca.

Why are you whispering?

Why are you whispering?

I'm... in a library.

I'm... I'm... in an avalanche zone.

Oh.

Okay. I have a problem.

You know my internet safety story where I created a fake online profile?

I think it went too far.

How far is too far?

I'm an Australian boy named Lachlan who...

Amanda's going to visit in Australia.

Oh, man.

That is too far.

If it makes you feel better, I made him a real hottie.

Rebecca, you have to tell Amanda the truth now. I gotta go. I think I hear an

avalanche. No!

This is horrible.

A tragedy.

What now? You're late for your pedicure with Kim?

No. Amanda... planning on running away to meet some strange boy in Australia

who's really Rebecca.

Rebecca's an Australian boy?

I really have to start paying closer attention to my students.

Okay.

Hungry.

Please send up food.

Mom, can you pick up the ice sculpture?

No, I don't know how you're going to keep it cold.

Try talking to it like you're talking to me right now.

Bye. What are you doing?

I am showing you that I can catch something.

Give it up. There's a reason no one fishes on City Street.

I caught something.

Hello, Fancy Foods Catering. Diane Jeffries. I'm not going to be able to

those jumbo shrimp, so can you deliver them to... How hard can it be? They're

shrimp.

for dangling things from city buildings. Nice catch.

What are you doing?

What? I'm starving.

Can someone get me some chow?

I've run out of belly beans.

Here's some gum to tide you over.

Let's take five, everyone.

I've always wanted to take five. Sounds so cool. Not when you say it.

Now's my chance to escape.

But how?

Only there was someone.

Help me.

And that's why you never leave hamburgers under the sofa.

Dude! Dad, what are you doing here? Me and your cuz wanted to come by, show you

the new shirts for the business, huh?

Uh, what do you think?

I think I'll take a size large. Ha ha, cool.

All right, we're gonna jet.

Have a good day in the box, little dude.

We gotta get one of those for the garage.

I can't believe I just did that. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

I should have said I was a medium.

Leave you for later.

Let's make a break for it. Can we wait? I think I'm getting a nibble.

On my way.

Almost there, almost there.

I've got my purse. What?

Got it.

I'm free.

Nothing will ever get the wild man back in that box again.

Somebody's in DJ's office.

Evil aliens have taken over the building.

I know they're evil because good aliens would have used the elevator.

Next time, let's take six.

Oh, yeah. Take six.

I like that.

Still not cool.

We made you a sandwich.

Eat? I can't eat. If you knew what I knew, you'd... Wait.

Is that four types of meat?

Rebecca, we need to talk. If you're planning on forming your own band, you

remember. I'm a bassist and I'm available?

Please, bassists are always available.

Okay, tell Michael what's wrong.

Wrong? Who said anything was wrong? Why would you say that?

Because I know you better than you know yourself.

And I overheard you tell DJ you have a problem. That's me. I care and I'm

Snoopy.

For my article, I started a fake online profile.

get Amanda to believe I was someone I wasn't. So what? There's an online fan

site that thinks I'm a wrestler called Commander Mahara.

And now Amanda thinks I'm an Aussie boy named Lachlan and she's going to meet me

in Sydney.

Oh, I was going to guess you're worried about being the least attractive one in

the band.

No, it's more serious than that.

Wait, what?

And you don't have to worry because it's obviously wilder.

I don't care about that.

I just want to know what to do.

It's the job part.

Commander Mahara.

And Amanda break a text. Kind yet strong.

She'll be so hurt she won't even make a trip to the mall, let alone Australia.

Michael, I can't do that. Fine.

I told you you made the whole thing up to thwart their emotions.

We all know how well Amanda handles disappointment.

Daddy, assistant, pack all my swimsuits.

What do you mean it's winter over there? Is Australia broken?

Well, fix it or you're fired.

Let's go for it.

I'm logging on as Lachlan now.

Dear Amanda.

He calls her his Amanda Bear.

Dear Amanda Bear, I want to apologize for my stunning lack of original

nicknames, but more to the point.

My heart is in tatters because I must leave you. My country needs me to fight

the war against... Robot Ostriches.

Just continue typing.

I can't believe we have to go straight to our party looking like this, and it

starts in an hour.

Okay, DJ, listen, I didn't think you were going to find out about this, but

things considered, it might cheer you up.

You wore your party outfit underneath your fishing gear?

Well, I wanted to fish as long as... Possible for me, but look as good as

possible for you. Great. Now, you're going to look hot, and I'm going to look

like your slob fiancé.

No, no, no, no.

You can wear my vest.

It has several elegant lures.

One, two, three, four. Stop everything.

I'm starting to think that might be our whole song.

Wilder, I'm going to let you out, but first I want to try one more time.

Please, don't go.

I gotta.

It's family. But this, it's family too.

Buzz isn't just about the magazine.

It's about us.

Meeting here every day.

If I don't see you at Buzz, then Suna won't see you on weekends, and

it'll just be some guy I see at school who spends all the time at the vending

machines.

Before you know it, we'll have graduated, gone our own way, and...

Never see each other again.

Until in 20 years we have some kind of buzz reunion.

It's not going to be like that.

Where did you come from?

It's a magic box, dude. It has a back exit.

I wish I knew that earlier.

My bladder isn't as strong as it used to be.

Do you know what my first duty at Peaky Wonton Garden Couriers is?

Explaining to confused customers why you don't have wonton soup?

Yes. My second duty is being courier of the bus.

I'm going to be here once a day, every day.

And then after high school, we'll be roommates in college.

You'll be the messy one, I'll be the slob.

It won't turn out like we hope, but we'll get through it.

Then we'll be each other's best men.

Move into the same block, babysit for each other, be placed in the same old

home.

You know what?

It'll be a lot of fun to see a skateboard with a walker.

That's the best thing about the buzz.

No matter what, we can always be honest with each other.

Yay! Lockwood sent me a message!

Commander Mahalo.

Voicemail.

Hey, Mom, cancel the engagement party. You'll understand when you see me.

DJ, listen to me.

You could be dressed up in a potato sack with your hair pulled back in a greasy

bun, and you'd still be beautiful to me.

And I don't care if I ever catch anything in my entire life because I've

made the biggest catch of all, and I'm never throwing her back.

Shepard, you have to think I'm beautiful. You're marrying me. I wanted

good for everybody else at the party.

Ah, I caught something.

What, an old boot?

Yeah, we'll see about that.

Well, while you were bossing around the entire city, I put a call in to your

mom. Looks like I caught something after all, and this one's a keeper.

I love you, Shepard.

Me too.

I also love me.

That is right.

I've been called to fight the war against robot ostriches that threaten to

destroy my country.

Please know this.

As I fight, I will always think of you.

Love, Lachlan.

Brilliant!

I mean, uh...

You were way too good for him.

Why can't I get boys to like me? What's wrong with me?

There's nothing wrong with you.

There's something wrong with me.

We already went through this makeup thing.

Why? Do you know something about these robot ostriches? I mean, I read about

them on the Commander Mahato group page, but I... I made Lachlan up.

You what?

I was doing a bus story on internet safety, and I had to see if I could

someone into thinking I was someone I wasn't.

I was only going to send you one message, but when I saw how happy you

didn't want to stop.

Of course, because the longer I look like a fool, the more fun it is for

everyone. That is right.

Can you stop that?

I'm sorry.

I really am.

Commando Mahalo.

This is all so sorry for getting you to join his fan site.

You're Commando Mahalo?

I thought you'd be bigger.

Me too.

I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at me.

I just can't believe I almost went to another country to meet a boy who could

have been anyone.

Not a smart choice.

Don't worry.

Stick with us and you'll be safe.

As long as you stay away from Wilder's belly beans.

Ew.

Thanks, but there's one thing we really should get to.

Group hug!

I meant to rehearse our song, but this works too. Group hug again!

We still don't have a name for our band.

How about Amanda Pierce and the other guys?

Why don't we call ourselves The Latest Buzz?

Works for me. Now can we get out of here? I hear DJ's serving jumbo shrimp

our party. I want to see if I can ride one before they cook it.

So, worth waiting around all day?

Definitely. The little angels.

Let's get to this party before they scarf down all the shrimp.

Or wild or rotten.