Original subtitles

Hear me, hear me. Michael and I have a special announcement.

You've entered the pretentious games of the two -person team?

Nope. If we're not dating anybody by prom, we're going as each other's dates.

Wow, that's closer than I thought.

Isn't it weird that none of us are in a relationship?

Some of us have dated, some of us have come close, but none of us have really

stuck it out. I'm forgetting about Waldo's love affair with this sandwich.

Hey! Do not mock the Wilderwitch. One day this baby's going to make me huge.

The way you're eating them? A lot quicker than you think.

What about D .J. and Mr. Shepard? Those two are solid.

You blunderhead.

How could you leave marriage off of your 20 goals in 20 years plan?

Learning to unicycle, check.

Throat singing, check. Look at my list. Right at the top. Your list is called

marriage and 19 other things I want to do in 20 years.

If you two break up, who gets custody of Wilder?

Remember before you answer. He eats six times a day and doesn't make any sense.

Hey. DJ, who knows where any of us are going to be in 20 years?

Actually, I do.

Eddie bought me a crystal ball on a business trip. I wanted a purse, but

good, too, because it can let me know what purse will be hot next season.

Please. There is no way that thing can tell the future.

There's no such...

Watching the time pass.

Can't wait to get out and hang out with my friends.

Find out what's new.

Contrasting on who.

And is that what we do? It's a whole new thing.

In the pages of my magazine.

Wilder? Rebecca!

Wilder? You look like the same Rebecca Hopper I saw 20 years ago.

And you look like six the same Wilders I saw 20 years ago.

I know. Six times as awesome.

Hey, congratulations on buying Buzz.

And almost everything else in the world. That Wilder actually caught on, huh? I

told you he'd make me huge one day.

He certainly did.

And you also became famous and made a lot of money.

Having money rules.

I can do whatever I want. Like right now, I'm beaming an electronic version

Team Buzz right into space.

So now you can find out if there really are aliens.

Whoa.

I actually bought the word if and the word aliens.

You're not allowed to put them in the same sentence anymore.

So is Noah here?

Man serving, get in here.

Yes, boss. What is it, boss?

I'd like a snack.

R. Noah?

I almost didn't recognize you.

You look thinner.

That's not even possible.

It is, but then next to Wilder, even the walls look thin.

Man, stir up my snack.

One Wilder Witch coming up.

Now come here and give me a big hug. Come on, come on.

Come here.

Just around.

Welcome to Wilder Inc.

Incorporated. Elevator now going up.

I can't believe the Judy King of EWOW is now the voice of everything.

I can't believe in 20 years this elevator hasn't changed one bit.

Took us all right up to the top floor.

Wanted to go higher, but there was no more.

Hold the magic for a sec, sweetie. I've got a call.

It's go time.

No, you can't speak to a man of Pierce hyphen Davies.

This is her manager slash husband.

Will my wife slash recording artist slash meal ticket endorse your product?

Yeah, I don't care what it is. If it pays, it plays, baby.

So, are you excited to see everyone?

Everybody except Wilder.

Not that he makes more money than we slash you do.

Today's top story, the fourth floor.

Welcome to Teen Buds.

Wow, this is the old kitchen?

It turned into quite a nerve center.

So, is this the computer that's sending signals into space?

No, this is Wilder's sandwich machine.

Sandwich.

This is what's sending signals into space.

A toaster?

Mine just has a setting for bagels.

Oh, by the way, you have a button undone. I know. Ever since Wilder became

big to do his up, I told him it was a new style.

So, how are you?

Fantastic.

I'm a man who can't do up his buttons so as not to offend his boss.

I make sandwiches for a guy who I once tricked into wearing underwear and a

to our grad.

So, uh, what are you up to, R?

A wardening journalist.

Just like I wanted.

Where is that Rebecca Harper?

Noah Jackson, this song is for you.

Michael and Amanda.

Look at you two.

Still married and still not caring about the piles before gas code. Ah, Wilder,

you big old softy.

You're bald.

You're Wilder's manservant.

You win.

I still can't believe you're richer than Daddy. And you once said that kajillion

wasn't a real number. Now I'm worth two kajillion dollars.

Rebecca, I heard about Bubba.

Yep.

A hundred years old and still going strong, she gives all the credit to

Nash.

Rebecca Harper!

It's mine!

I see. Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.

Okay, got it.

I just got word from the blurb. Yes, I own that, too.

Stop by for a wilderwidge sometime.

DJ and Mr. S are on their way.

Everybody hide!

It's so nice of you to have a surprise 25th anniversary party for DJ.

Actually, I'm firing DJ, so it's going to be an even bigger surprise.

I can't

believe

it. It only took 20 years, but we're finally getting married.

Sorry about the wait.

Oh, wait, what was my excuse again?

Oh, right. I have no body.

Don't look at me.

You're the one that wanted to learn how to ride a rocket unicycle.

Much better.

Could use a little oil, though.

So, I'm in Northern Canada. Oh, we don't call it that anymore.

You know, after Wilder bought it. Right.

So I was in Northern Canada, dude, when I came across the group. I missed you.

What?

I miss.

Surprise!

You're fired!

Thank you, Wilder. Wait, what did you just say?

Here, check the time. It's fired o 'clock.

You're firing me at my anniversary party?

Welcome to the new buzz.

Enjoy your watch.

Where's Mr. Shepard?

Hi, kids.

It has to be said.

to Mr.

Shepard's head.

Oh, that.

It was a rocket unicycle mishap. I always told Shepard he'd lose that thing

it weren't attached to his body.

I am so tired of that joke.

Don't worry.

We're shopping for new bodies. Looks like we're going with Dex Cobra.

I'm baking up justice, and I'm always serving seconds.

Do I love my hubby or a man who's really chubby?

Michael Davies.

I'm sorry, but Amanda Pierce -Davies does not perform for under $10 million.

Zuzu Moon does?

Well, then $8 million it is.

I've got good news.

I landed you a gig Zuzu Moon was dying to get.

And that's why you're the best manager in the world. Manager slash husband in

the world.

Oh, I got another call.

It's go time. Talk to me.

Did you say what I thought you did?

What, surprise?

Yeah. I was going to go with, Mr. Shepard, have you lost weight? But

seemed more effective.

Did you say that you missed me?

Don't worry. I know an award -winning journalist would never have time for a

lackey like me.

If he would have felt lackey, he still knew how to make her laugh.

Okay.

What do these three things have in common? Deep -fried shrimp, a sneeze

and Wilder? I give up. There are three things you'll find at every buffet.

Toast. I don't believe it. We've made contact.

Wilder was right.

Aliens do exist.

He didn't want this.

The aliens are attacking.

They'll be our evil overlords crushing us under their scaly, tyrannical thumbs.

Oh, dear.

Sherry Overwood had twins?

What did she name them?

Publicity and stunt?

With some congrats slash best wishes.

Oh, really gotta stop slamming down the phone.

Got another call? Let's go down.

I gotta say, you and Michael married?

Nobody saw that coming.

Yeah, Michael and I should have never agreed to be each other's prom date.

People assumed we were an item.

Boys stopped asking me out. Trying to fart -wire us, stopped asking Michael

And before I knew it, I was wearing a wedding dress and walking down the

Oh, yes.

So, you wondered, what if?

All the time.

Like this morning, I wondered, what if our nostrils stank? Would we smell them

every time we inhaled?

I meant, have you ever wondered what would have happened if I went to Mexico

instead of Paris?

Sure. We'd have fallen in love. I would have been your first kiss. We'd have

gotten married. I would have worked for your dad and maybe made daddy's

assistant's assistant.

Let go of my dream of selling the Wilder Witch and spent the rest of my life in

a job I hated.

Oh, well, good thing that didn't happen. I mean, your life is pretty awestruck.

Weird thing, though.

The more awestruck my life became, the less I found myself actually saying

awestruck. It's my biggest regret.

I love that word.

Amanda! I think it's time we had another slash to your name.

Let me guess.

Amanda Pierce hyphen Davy slash recording artist slash pitch person

reality show contestant. Nope. Amanda Pierce hyphen Davy slash recording

slash pitch person slash mother.

You want us to have a baby? Yeah. It'd be great to get into the baby music

slash food market.

Right. Why else would anyone want a baby? Exactly.

Hold on. I got a call. Talk to me.

Robot Mouse Invaders 23.

Once again, Duck on level 9.

Ungard.

We have major news, boss.

Get me up, you fool.

Come on. Get me up.

You've made contact with aliens.

I must click my heels with joy.

And he's down again.

Get me up. Yes, sir. Come on. Come on.

It must be...

Well done you deserve a raise

There's

more we don't know why but the aliens have launched an intergalactic attack

no

or Inc.

Incorporated.

Manservant, fix this problem now or you're fired.

You really think you should leave global defense to a manservant like me? I have

no formal training for this. Time to earn your dental plan.

I can't believe aliens aren't friendly. I am so angry. I need to kick something.

I'm just... Ow!

Man down!

Man down!

He fired me, Mom.

Yes. On the day Shepard proposed to me.

Mm -hmm.

What? You planned the wedding already?

Uh -huh.

Oh, I'll let him know.

My mom says that she'd spend most of the money for your new body on the wedding.

Now we can't afford the Dex Cobra model.

What can we afford?

A very short manual horse.

I don't want to be short.

Centaur it is, Mom.

Great. Just great.

Oh, honey.

your chin up.

I'm sorry I couldn't resist, but honestly, keep it up because you

time you almost suffocated?

So how much does the horse then?

If I don't stop this alien attack, I am in so much trouble.

You do realize that if you don't stop it, then being fired won't really

Yes, it will.

Wilder being mad is way worse than annihilation. He yells and screams and

things and naps and eats and yells and screams and throws more things. He

me.

Hey, the Noah Jackson I knew would never let Wilder treat him this way. The Noah

Jackson I knew would fight back and make a joke.

Yeah, well, that Noah Jackson no longer exists.

What happened?

After he left Buzz, I stopped writing, couldn't keep a job.

Even music didn't mean anything.

So learning that I was broke and still living in my old room, hey, at least I

had the top bunk, Wilder offered me a job.

Well, actually, he asked me to make him a sandwich. It just turned into a full

-time job.

Why'd you have to kiss Elliot?

It was on top of the Eiffel Tower under the full moon, and I miss you two.

You do?

Yes.

Now, while I don't care who you are, we're older now, and you finally kissed

that girl to even the score.

So why not give it another try?

Here's the thing. I've been on a bit of a cold streak with the ladies, so sadly

I still have to do that. It's only fair a guy has to keep his dignity.

Now, if you'll excuse me.

I have to break in a pair of Wilder's underwear.

Yes, you'll get exclusive photo rights as long as Amanda gets top billing over

the baby.

Yes, the baby's second banana.

So it's a deal? All right.

I'm going to be a great father.

I'm leaving you.

You're leaving me? How could you do this? After all those years I stood by

and made you who you are, you will rue the day.

Wait.

As my wife or my client?

Your wife.

Oh, yes, that's right.

I thought you were going to say client.

So you don't mind?

I know I'm a great agent, but I also know I'm a lousy husband.

I think you should follow what's in your heart.

I don't know if I'll get a chance to say this later, but I'm telling you now.

It wouldn't have mattered to me if I ended up in a job that I hated. Because

the end of the day, I would have come home to you.

And that would have been forever awestruck.

Thanks, father.

There I go again!

I was so happy then.

I can't believe you have that same box of junk after 20 years. You know yak

doesn't spoil.

DJ, I don't want to marry you.

Oh, honey, you just have cold feet. You know, if you had feet.

No, I don't. I'm calling it off.

Are you telling me that I've waited 20 years for an engagement that lasted two

hours? I didn't want to wait 20 years. I wanted to ask you that day we both made

up our goal list.

Then why wasn't marrying me on your list?

Because I only wrote down 19 items.

Number one was going to be to propose to you. Then you called me a blunderhead,

and it kind of ruined the moment.

Then why didn't you ask me to marry you after that?

Because I wanted to think of a cool way to ask you, but everything I came up

with was lame.

Then I got the idea to do it on a rocket unicycle, and hey, we all know how that

turned out.

You and your head in the clouds ideas.

Oops, I didn't mean it that way, honestly.

DJ, I'm sorry.

But I don't want a marriage where you climb onto my back and we gallop off

the sunset.

I'm going to quit while I'm ahead.

Wow, it really is difficult not to make jokes.

Goodbye, Shepard.

I'll always love you.

This is Judy King saying 15 minutes to an alien attack.

Have a nice day.

I know why they're attacking.

They find that Teen Buzz lacks heart. They feel that as humans, we have such

little passion that we are ripe for destruction.

Before we get blown to smithereens, I have to tell you something.

Your dad still thinks we're dating?

No. Well, yes, that's been a hard lie to keep up for 20 years.

But that's not it.

I'm not exactly the award -winning reporter I led you to believe.

Oh, but you're still a reporter.

I write... for a community newspaper.

I have to deliver the newspapers myself or nobody will even read them. But you

left Buzz to become this journalist to find a big story. I know, it's just that

every story I seem to chase, it didn't seem to compare to the one I left

True love.

I guess like Team Buzz, I lost my passion.

I know how to save the world. Does it involve kissing a girl? If it does, we

be in trouble.

If the aliens think they can attack because Team Buzz lacks passion, then

give them some.

But how?

I don't have any.

Look, you're not the only one who lied.

I never stopped writing. I stopped getting published.

On this bread is everything I've written in the last 20 years, and each one has

enough passion to stop a convoy of flying saucers. You put it all onto that

piece of bread?

It's multigrain.

This is Judy King.

Aliens have enjoyed the article and are returning home.

Good night, everyone.

Yes, we did it!

I heard the good news!

Time to celebrate.

Issue this release.

Wilder Inc.

Incorporated saves the day. Get to it, manservant.

No!

I am tired of doing your dirty work for you. I am not your manservant.

My name is Noah Jackson, and I am a human being.

And you are a human blimp.

I just had to figure out a way to make you do it. Wait, so this whole treat me

like dirt thing was to get me on my feet?

Hey, you are my best friend.

You could have lent me money.

I wish I thought of that.

Hoots!

Nice job.

Noah Jackson saves the world from aliens.

Looks like you got your big story.

Aliens isn't exactly the story I want to follow right now.

Whoa, what happened? I don't believe this.

I guess that I didn't pay for the full Into the Future Minutes plan.

Nothing worse than a penny -pinching billionaire.

So, if we don't have dates by prom, we'll go solo.

Yep, definitely.

Solo slash alone.

Don't start, Michael.

Maybe I should do some jumping jacks or something.

Come on, you can't believe that fancy bocce ball.

Yeah, there's no way you can prove that will actually happen in the future.

17, 18, 19.

You only have 19 items.

What happened to number one?

DJ?

Will you marry me?

Yes, Shepard.

If you ever ride a rocket unicycle, I'll knock your head off myself.

Not to worry. I want to be head and heel over you.

So, where's everyone?

DJ and Mr. Shepard are taking us all to the burger bar to celebrate.

So, do you think there's any truth to that crystal ball?

I hope so.

I'd love to see Michael bald.

But what if we really do end up that way because we never made up?

All alone and unhappy.

All right.

It's not going to happen.

How do you know?

Because of this.

Good answer.