All language subtitles for The Latest Buzz s03e07 The Date Night Issue

What? I'm sorry, it's just that most
people's chewing sounds annoy me.

Yours are like singing.

Michael, enough.

We need to focus on our problem.

We need to tell Walter we're, you
know... So we're destined to be together

the end of time?

Yes, Michael, even though we've only
been on two dates.

I mean that we're going out.

It shouldn't be that hard.

Walter is the nicest guy on earth.

Exactly. He's kind, understanding, big
-hearted.

He'll probably be happy for us, right?

Someone stole my lunch.

Warning, there is a criminal in the
school, a dirty lunch thief.

It is a garlic and sauerkraut sandwich.

So all I have to do is follow the stick.

As soon as I find the person who took
it, they will pay.

Oh, they will pay.

We could tell them at the end of time.

Or the day after that.

Watching the time pass, waiting to get
out, living out with my friends, finding

what's new, just gliding on through, and
it's never too, it's so cold to see,

in the pages of my magazine.

is finally going to have a mime club.

Finally? Yep, courtesy of yours truly.
First meeting is tonight. Everyone is

welcome. Spread the word. Or, shall I
say, reenact the word.

Mime club, huh?

You really have your finger on the pulse
of today's kids. I'd like to think so.

Mime is so fun.

White face paint, black dance pants,
striped shirt. I can't think of one

not to join.

Yet, you just listed three.

There's a reason why mime isn't really
big these days. What's that? A fickle

world isn't ready for the joys of a
great art?

No, TV's up sound now.

Very funny, Noah. I think this mime club
is really going to take off.

Dare to dream, sir.

Dare to dream.

Bad news.

Daddy's assistant won't tell Walter
we're dating.

What did he even pay him for?

Oh, no. It doesn't matter. Now time for
plan B.

You tell him.

Me? Why me?

Because you're the man in this
situation.

What's the woman's job? To start the
mess and leave before it gets ugly.

Yes, I'd like to file a missing person
report.

A garlic and sauerkraut on rye.

Maybe it is not a person, but that
sandwich is like a brother to me.

Hello?

Um,

Wilder. Do you know something about my
sandwich?

Absolutely not. I'm on your side like a
good friend should be.

Couldn't find it.

So I'd eat a soybean wrap instead.

Tastes like dirt wrapped in more dirt.

That's your friend.

I want to avenge this crime. But there's
something that I have to tell you first

that's really, really, really tiny.

Okay. I am open for non -sandwich
-related news.

There's a situation where friends are...
What?

Let me try this again. You see...

When a giraffe leaves the pack, the baby
giraffes are like, whoa, what's wrong

with that giraffe? And the first giraffe
is mad because... Whoa!

You're speaking my language, and even I
don't know what you're talking about.

You mean a matter of dating.

Wow.

This is a sexopathy.

Prophecy.

That's a thing.

You know what?

I'm cool with it.

Congratulations. I wish you guys the
best.

That's great.

Thanks. That was a lot easier than I
thought.

I didn't know you were into mimes.

Oh, I'm not. I'm into making fun of
mimes.

But I like to do so with some basic
skill.

Ah, like the time you learned Ukrainian
folk dance to mock me?

You know the best part about making fun
of mimes is they can't talk back.

I wish I could say the same about you.

Rebecca, I need your call.

Of course.

I had a little spare time, so I
translated into Arabic, which was time

-consuming because I don't speak Arabic.

That's considerate of you. Since I had
some more time, I landscaped the rooftop

garden. We don't have a rooftop garden.

Somebody hasn't been to the rooftop
lately.

Can I talk to you for a minute, Rebecca?

No problem.

I can fit you in right after I reglaze
the linoleum in the kitchen.

Meeting with DJ...

Meow.

It's okay.

You didn't come down.

I'm not angry anymore. See?

I think I'll give it a few seconds to be
sure. It took DJ security and six

firefighters to get you off me.

That was before I had time to reflect.

I ended it with Amanda.

And even though this does go against the
pals before gals code... Pals before

gals code?

I'm not familiar.

There's a code for guys.

The way we're supposed to behave.

It's like if there's a game on TV.

You're allowed to ask what the score is,
but not who's playing.

Why can't you ask who's playing?

Because you're supposed to know.

Okay.

It's like if I make a joke in front of a
girl I'm trying to impress.

You have to laugh.

What if it's not funny?

Doesn't matter.

These are the guy rules.

They're older than the internet.

Actually, the internet's not that...
There,

another rule.

You don't correct a guy when he's on a
roll.

But the most important rule is pals
before gals.

Like, don't fill out your friend and
date his ex, because it makes you a

Is there a list of exceptions to this
rule?

You are never going to get it.

Rebecca Harper, she's with Diane. I'm
not sure the voice recorder is

I just wanted his backup in case I
missed anything.

Be ready for anything. That's what Bob
always says.

Which reminds me, I organized a bottle
drive for our bingo night tonight.

So hopefully this is quick.

Rebecca, have you ever stopped to think
that maybe you're working a bit too

hard? Like maybe you need to slow down
and chillax.

Chillax? Yeah, it's something we used to
do in the 90s. How about joining me

tonight to answer some of Buzz's
questions to the editor?

So you want me to do less work?

By doing your work?

No. It'll be fun.

I stay late once a week to answer the
letters. We'll chit chat and do a little

work. Sounds fun, DJ.

See you at seven.

Seven on the dot. I won't be a minute
late. See? You're relaxing already.

Hey, how many months does it take to
screw in a light bulb?

Ah!

I'm so glad you're here.

Looks like you're the only one.

Yeah, about that.

I don't want to waste your time if it's
only me, so I'm going to head off now.

Don't worry.

We'll get over this.

After all, it is mime over matter.

Of course it is.

Too bad I forgot my face paint, so...
Don't worry again. I've got tongues.

Now, let's get started.

Come on!

I thought you weren't supposed to talk.

Quick study. Now get over here.

Hi, DJ.

Should I be wearing fleece? It's after
hours, Rebecca.

It's chillaxation time.

So I won't need my color tab system for
categorizing the letters?

I had a little time.

No. No color tabs, no flow charts, no
voice recorders. Just the girls hanging

out and decompressing.

But first, we have to get the juices
flowing and do the chicken noodle soup

thing.

That's a whole lot of juice blowing.

Hey, loosen up. Come on. Add the
crackers.

It's not basil. It's crackers.

Fine. Here comes saltine.

You

look

great. I've never seen you so...

Cowgirl chic.

That's because we've never been anywhere
as cowgirl -y as Roscoe Steak and

Saddles. They also have dancing.

I had a coupon.

I won't let anyone see me use it.

No, look!

Do you still bother we would be here?

No, of course not.

Although in hindsight, asking to borrow
a coupon from him, not the best idea.

Bitch!

Yolanda Farquhar?

Oh, hey, guys.

How funny. You're here. We're here.

You guys remember Yolanda Farquhar,
right?

Hi, Michael Davies. You look sparkling
tonight.

Hi, Yolanda.

So do you.

Hi, Yolanda. I didn't think country
would be your thing.

I love banjos and all instruments you
can play in coveralls.

Say, since we're all here, why don't we
join you? Won't that be the bee's knees?

Or the grasshopper's elbows?

St. Michael Davies, is that jealous rage
on your face?

Which is the reason chairs have four
legs instead of two.

Isn't that super interesting? I thought
in a documentary.

That is interesting.

Long? Interesting.

Do you mind if I speak to Wally? One
sec. I want to hear more about chairs

other stuff we sit in.

What happened to pals before gals? You
knew me and Yolanda were a thing.

This is betrayal.

Yeah, tell me how betrayal -y it is to
date your friend's ex.

I just went out for about ten minutes.
I'm not even in the wrong here. You're

right in the middle of wrong. If wrong
was Hollywood, you would be the

sign. Well, this sign has a beautiful
lady friend to entertain.

So, Yolanda, how's the banana label
collection?

It's super big now. You'd be very proud
of me. It's almost as big as my Michael

Davey scrapbook.

Dear Team Buzz, my mom made my prom
dress. Only problem is, I hate it. What

should I do?

Well, coming from a girl whose mom once
handmade her blue jeans.

Cry.

My mom once knit me a bathing suit.

I'm kidding.

Seriously, she should compromise with
her mom. Wear the dress for some

and then change before the dance.

Nice, DJ.

Here's another one.

I was watching a movie with my crush,
and just as it went quiet, I let one

I was so embarrassed.

What should I do?

Well, life can be filled with
embarrassing moments, but usually not

embarrassing.

Sometimes it's a good idea to have a
good cover story.

That was a weird sound effect, eh?

That didn't sound like Iron Man's voice.

Did somebody step on a duck?

Don't say pull my finger.

Walking against the wind is a classic
line maneuver invented by Marcel

He recently passed away.

Did they honor him with a minute of
silence?

Now you go.

Here, give it a try.

No, no, no, no, no, no. You're supposed
to struggle. It's trying to get away.

I think I can overpower a fake balloon.

Think about the balloon's dreams.

It wants to be up in the sky.

I don't get it.

It's like you don't even care about mime
at all.

Oh, yeah.

How many mimes does it take to screw in
a light bulb?

It doesn't really matter.

Nobody wants to watch a mime do
anything.

I see. You just came here to mock me.

I can't believe you tipped the busboy
with the coupon.

If you found yourself in an alien
spaceship, would you be more excited or

scared?

Wilder, wilder. I would ask myself when
I started believing in aliens.

Probably after they abducted you. Brain
probes are convincing.

You're very funny.

Really? I wouldn't say very. Maybe
somewhat.

Sometimes I wish you would get somewhat
abducted.

Amanda, did I tell you about the time I
met Hilary Duff?

No, tell me. It goes like this. I met
Hilary Tuff. Isn't that great?

She even gave me a piece of her gum.
Because you had broccoli breath.

Like you do now.

This is how much I want to get out of
this conversation.

Who wants a square dance?

Chicken in the bread pan, scratching out
gravel, grab your boy and away you

travel. That means I do, Amanda Spears.

Okay, your turn. Okay.

Dear Team Beth, I'm not over my ex
-boyfriend, so I'm pouring myself into

kinds of other activities.

The only problem is I can't stop
thinking about him.

When does it stop hurting?

Dear reader, it's supposed to hurt.

That's how you know it was real.

Is that true?

Yeah.

Yeah, it is.

That's the hard part about a breakup.

You have all of these feelings banging
around inside with nowhere to go.

The only thing you can do is let
everything out. And there is no finger

in the world that can do that for you.

It's hard, DJ.

I miss not being able to call Michael
for something super annoying.

I know you do.

Mainly because now you call me.

But that's how it works.

You try to move forward day by day. And
each day it hurts a little bit less.

Until one day you wake up and it doesn't
hurt at all.

Is there any way to fast forward to that
day?

No. But it does get better. I promise
you.

Okay.

Can we read another letter about
embarrassing bodily functions?

Sure. They're a lot more common than you
think.

Just admit it, Wilder. You knew Michael
and I would be here.

You know, I prefer to eat in restaurants
with a mechanical bull. I'm kind of a

snob, I got.

Maybe, but you brought you wanted to
make Michael mad.

No, if I wanted to make Michael mad, I
would say something about his neck rope.

You look really good in that bolo tie,
Michael Davies. Thanks. This is my lucky

time in the Western category.

It must be, because I'm here.

I love the way you did your hair.

Thanks, Michael. I've been waiting for
you to say something.

So you just happened to call Yolanda?
Yep.

And happened to show up here?

I was in the mood to do -si -do. Well,
maybe you should do -si -don't. I can't

take it.

I only asked Yolanda out to make you
guys mad.

My heart's been crushed.

Usually that means it's time to go home.

Thanks for the wonderful evening, Wilder
Wilder.

So what are you going to do with all
this extra popcorn?

Same thing Wilder does with his leftover
food. Put it in Noah's desk.

You all right, kiddo?

Yeah, I'm all right.

Thanks for everything, DJ.

No problem.

So, think you're ready?

Not quite.

It's time for our new, take it as it
comes, Lazy Fair Rebecca.

No more workaholics.

Goodbye, date book.

I'm a whole new woman.

Do your thing, gal.

No one says that, do they?

Only my favorite people.

Mr.

Shepard, I owe you an apology.

So you brought an accordion? Yeah.

I wanted to show you my glass house.

Glass house?

As in, I shouldn't throw a stone. You
see, I'm a big accordion fan.

Big. You don't hear that a lot.

My love for music started with the
polka. You hear that even less.

The only reason why I learned to play
the guitar was because my enjoyment of

accordion wasn't exactly shared by my
peers.

Kids can be so cruel.

Yes, I know.

So I guess we all have things we love
that others don't.

It's not fair for me to make fun of your
thing when my thing isn't exactly a

lady's magnet. I think you're actually
repelling girls right now.

You're dressed as a mime. Touche.

All right, so here goes.

I

like

polka, he likes mime.

Not that cool, you see.

You. You look stupid in front of these
people.

Why am I going to your running?

Julianne, I'm sorry that I said that.
It's okay. I see what's happening.

You were rude to me because you like
Amanda Pierce. And Michael Davies was

to her by giving me all his attention.

And that's how nice you're caught in the
middle.

Wilder was rude to me when he said my
tie looked like I made it myself.

It'd just be better if we were all
honest with our feelings.

I hate it when people trust their pets.

Sorry, you meant important feelings,
right?

I only went out with you because you
told me Michael Davies would be here.

What? Why would you? That is petty,
shallow, and... Oh, yeah, I caused all

this.

No one's heart's broken unless they're
with the wrong person.

It's like you have a truth -finding
device in your mind.

You two get out there and dance.

Michael Davies, my dad's waiting in the
station wagon to drive us both home. But

don't worry, I'll make sure he closes
his eyes when we kiss.

Works for me.

I think the guy code says that I should
check with you before I leave with your

date.

Is that cool?

Yeah, hombre. That's cool.

Alright,

dude. I've got a girl to kiss.

You'll land it, right?

So your dad's not going to close his
eyes when he's driving, right?

You are so silly, Michael Davies.

Shall we, Dad?

This is nice.

It is.

This is the seventh special moment I've
had at Rothko's Steak and Saddle.

The first one I did involved food.

So, what does this mean for us?

I don't know.

The only time I've ever been hurt was
with some kind of extreme board injury.

To love.

The thing is, though, no matter what the
injury, I could always sense when I can

get back on the board.

Bruised tailbone, four days.

Sprained ankle, two weeks.

But my heart, I don't know how long it's
going to take.

It has to tell me.

Well, just let me know when you're
ready, because I'll be waiting for you.

Yeah.

Squash toe?

Three seconds.

One, two, three.

Hmm.

Rib cage owie?

Twelve dicks.

I get it, Walden.