All language subtitles for The Latest Buzz s02e18 The Breakup Issue

Wilder, my friend, guess what I've done
for you.

A favor.

Guess how big.

It's enormous.

Guess what it is.

You got me a bobblehead of myself.

You got me a subscription to the meat of
the month club.

No, no, no.

You bought me a dragon. Michael, you
rock.

Yes. Yes, I do, but that's not it.

Something no one could ever get.

Something nobody would get, huh?

Uh, how about Team Buzz is holding a
gala for the movie premiere of Dude,

Where's My Spaceship? And You Got Me a
Date With It star skater girl Vicky Z?

Nobody would guess that.

You couldn't be more wrong.

Wait. That's it.

Woo -wee! I'm Nobody's You Got Me a Date
With Vicky Z! Yeah!

Nobody who knows how to take the fun out
of a surprise.

Yeah!

way to get out and hang out with my
friends, find out what's new, who's

on who, and if everyone's new. It's so
cool to be in the

pages of my magazine.

Quite the review.

You do realize that Brayden Roberts is
10, and girls everywhere have crushes on

him. Well, then he should have made a
photo album and not a music album.

That's why I printed it.

However, if Brayden asks, I'll swear I
don't know you. What's the worst that

happen? You might want to ask the last
guy who wrote a bad review on Brayden,

you can find him. He was so scared he
went into hiding.

Scared of a kid?

You're kidding, right, DJ?

DJ?

DJ?

Noah did not let up.

For these reasons and many more, this
reviewer finds Brayden Roberts' latest

album derivative, amateurish, and
enjoyable for only a select few.

The tone deaf.

Skating and savage.

I have an idea.

Rebecca, your outfit is enjoyable for
only a select few. The color of wine.

too good.

All you did was steal Noah's line.

No, I...

Personalize Noah's line. It's the Pierce
special now. I have to write it down.

Quick, give me my Sherry Overwood pen
back.

I already gave it back to you.

Then why am I still asking for it?

Let's think about this. Is it possible
you misplaced the pen?

Rebecca, your lies are enjoyable for
only a select few. I don't have your

Hello, Daddy Sawyer? I'd like to sue
somebody, please.

Wow. Rebecca, check out these emails I
got from Braden Roberts.

Subject, your article is lame.

Subject, you are lame.

Subject, na -na -na -na -na -na.

How many did he send?

116.

117.

Take it back or prepare to get owned.

Did I just get threatened by a 10 -year
-old? DJ warned you. I have a policy not

to be afraid of people under 5 feet
tall.

Unless they're clowns.

No height restrictions there.

118? 118.

Your life gets difficult starting now.

Never seen an emoticon like that before.

I'm so entangled.

How do you get Hamlet on your shirt?

How do you not?

Here she comes. Now remember, act cool.

When doesn't the wild man act cool?

Go Iceman.

Hey, Mike Star. Hey, Vicky Z. This is
Wilder, Wilder, Vicky Z.

What's shaking?

My knees a little.

Enjoy, kiddos. No need to thank me for
the intro. Though, who am I to say no to

a gift?

Next, size 14. I prefer Argyle, but I
won't say no to Platts.

Now you two wacky kids enjoy yourselves
on the pipe half.

That's half pipe.

That's what Wilder calls it. I knew you
guys would be a perfect match.

Now go and enjoy yourselves.

Someone looks happy.

Do you know what the three biggest
stories are for a gossip columnist?

they all equally irrelevant?

Sad. Using humor to cover up your
ignorance.

A new romance, a breakup, and the
confession.

That just got me the first one.

Gator superstar finds love with a local
teen.

Well, I hope the manipulation of others
works out for you.

Me too. And if not, I've got a backup
story.

It's called The Revenge of Braden
Robert.

Yeah, yeah.

Not scared.

Hello? You're going down!

You wouldn't mind walking me home, would
you?

What? No.

No. No.

Did you find your... everything in the
kitchen?

It's not here.

It's not anywhere.

You know why?

Because you didn't return it. But I did.
No, you didn't.

Amanda, I'm a responsible person.

I return library books. I return
compliments. I return awkward stares.

And I returned your pen.

I want my pen back, Rebecca.

Or else you'll never ride Little Biscuit
again.

Don't bring the pony into this.

I will if I have to.

I try to be nice.

I try to be mature.

But if you want to go down this road,
I'm game, Amanda.

You think you have game? I know I have
game. Fine.

I can't wait to see your game. But
before I do, can you clean up this mess?

Sure.

My game just happens to be cleaning.

Last night, Pat was pretty harsh.

Are you okay?

That depends.

Do you have a twin sister sitting right
beside you?

No. Then I might need a second.

I'll have a strawberry, strawberry
smoothie smoothie.

Two strawberry smoothies, please. And an
ice pack for his brain.

Wow. You're a strawberry smoothie fan?

I got a feeling this is going to work
out. For sure. The best relationships

based on taste in smoothies. Totally.

All right, flash quiz. What kind of
music are you into?

Lil X, Fifi Dobson, Chrissy Hahn.

How about you?

I love size six nostrils. Oh, and ice
cream truck music.

Oh, it gives me headaches. The ice cream
and the music.

What about movies?

I like them dark and edgy.

I like them happy and soft and mushy
around the edges.

Um, boarding.

Surf or snow? Wake.

Dog? Reptile.

Remember how we liked the same smoothie?

That was awesome. Yeah.

I'm going to be honest.

I don't think this is going to work out.
I'm with you there, dude.

And what do you think about this?

Wow, you're still seeing double.

Dad on that ice pack.

Easy now.

Low and steady.

What is wrong with you?

Someone's a little jumpy.

I'm sorry.

Brayden hired an expert to pie me.

How exactly do you become an expert in
pieing? Practice, apparently.

The guy got me twice already, and his
contract says to expect a third.

Hey, journos, deadline pie.

It's the pie expert.

No, it's DJ with pie.

Not the same thing.

He could be wearing a disguise.

This guy's good.

I need to write a note.

My last will and testament to my mother
in case I don't make it home pie free.

Fine, but don't leave me any sarcastic
last words.

You should know that that pen was a gift
from Sherry Overwood. I know. I saw the

billboard. Rebecca Harper lost my Sherry
Overwood pen.

Do you think that's something?

Wait till you see the infomercial.

Get it through your stubborn head.

I don't have your Sherry Overwood...
pen.

Oh, dear.

Why did you say, oh, dear?

Um, I just noticed the bags under your
eyes.

Bags? What bags? Are you big?

I was going to tell you to go home, get
a good night's sleep, and tomorrow

you'll probably find your pen.

Bye -bye.

But I gotta say, tonight was as painful
as missing an Ollie.

Yeah, you won't mind if I snub you at
the movie premiere?

Mind? I'd be flattered.

So, do you think the mic's just going to
mine if we didn't hit it off?

Hold it, hold it!

Look at you two.

Like frickin' Frack, Chillin' Jack, dogs
and cats.

The last one doesn't really work, but
who cares?

Actually, Vicky and I wanted to tell you
something. Me first, me first.

In the land of Gossip Dom, That's where
I live. One of the biggest things you

can do is reveal a romance.

It's every gossip columnist's dream.

Since I was the merry matchmaker who set
you up, who better than to realize that

dream? This can make my career!

Awestruck.

So, uh, you guys a couple or not?

Couple. Couple.

I knew it!

Now, uh, cuddle up.

Meaning? you for breakfast is the best
wake -up call I could ever have.

I was so psyched to see you. I only hit
the snooze button ten times.

Again, this time with more feeling.

I call that shot forever, Valder.

Valder, your couple name?

Guess it's better than Wiki.

That's it for now. I'll see you guys
later for the lovebirds at lunch shoot.

Yo, Mike, don't you think you're getting
a bit carried away?

I haven't even started getting carried
away.

The Valder romance will unfold week by
loving week in my column.

Well, until I get the rights to the
musical.

Musical? Oh, yeah, baby. I'm taking you
guys worldwide.

Ah, the power of love.

Valder, why don't you say something?

Keep it down.

People are going to think we're
fighting. We are fighting.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

No. I've been asked before, but I'm
always wrong. Trust me. I'm never, ever

thinking what other people are thinking.

Okay, here's the plan.

We stage a huge fight at the premiere
and break up.

Michael's the first to report on it. He
gets the scoop, and I never have to see

your face over orange juice again.

Woo -wee, Vicky Z! Sick plan!

Would it be too soon to ask another girl
out at the premiere?

how sorry I am.

No, that's no good.

Amanda, I might have possibly found your
pen.

It was sort of in my desk area, tucked
away in a notebook.

Maybe. You don't want to do that.

Let me guess, you're still on high -pi
alert?

Yep.

When your back's against the wall, you
gotta sneak your way out of it.

Like you and this pen.

Just put it back and make Amanda think
she had it all along.

Noah, I couldn't.

But if you confess, you'll be sorry.

Amanda knows how to say I told you so in
30 different languages.

I gotta go.

There's something in the lunch lady's
eyes I just don't trust.

I was never here.

Yes, Baba. I know your soap's drawn, but
I just need you to check underneath

Rebecca's bed.

Fine, then.

Find out if Sylvia runs away with
Frederick, and then call me back.

Amanda. Team Buzz is hosting a movie
premiere, and you're worried about a

pen. You don't understand.

It's not just any pen. It was a gift
from Sherry Overwood.

Now, I know what you're thinking.

A rich, privileged, and beautiful girl
like me must be swan with gifts.

And you'd be right.

I always am. Go on. But those gifts are
nothing to me.

This pen, though, was more than a fine,
quaint writing instrument.

It was an instrument that... It sealed
our friendship because it was given from

the heart.

I can't read the whole thing up. I just
can't stand that Rebecca won't admit

she's wrong.

I'm a small and petty girl.

Yes, but one heck of a storyteller. An
instrument that sealed our friendship?

She's funny.

I don't believe it. What?

You planted the pen.

How'd you know?

You're wearing your sneaky face.

Which you should probably make less
obvious.

Give me details.

It's going down like this.

I put it in her Tokushima file. Now I'm
going to call her using an assumed

voice. So far, so evil.

I'll say I'm from the Buzz research
team, and I need her to recheck a quote

her story.

She'll look in the file and press the
find the pen.

To think you've waited that big
beautiful brain of yours to get good

Hey, guys, have you tried this alien
pudding? It's out of this world.

Get it?

So, Noah, I want to commend you again on
not pulling any punches with the Braden

Roberts review.

Considering he was this issue's half
-point hottie, he was a bold move.

I have to say what I have to say. I
can't live my life in fear.

Well, you can say it to his face,
because he's right over there.

If anyone needs me, I'll be in another
room living my life in fear.

a half pint hottie.

It's just about show time.

Really? What show are you going to see?

No, dude, our fake fight to get Michael
off our back.

All right.

Yeah, gotcha. Fake fight.

Then can we go see the show?

Yes, Wowser, we can go to a show. It
will be called The Art of Focusing.

Coming through. Angry child starting hot
pursuit. Move, move, move.

Amanda Pierce.

This is research.

We need to double -check a quote on your
Tokushima story. Did he say red is the

new white or the new beige?

Give me one moment. I'll check.

Looks like we're painting the town beige
tonight.

Oh.

I mean, no. Thank you, dear.

Here we go. Are you ready?

Ready, willing, and able.

Dude, this is my premiere.

Stop being so clingy. Me? You're the
clingy one.

You're the human version of that dryer
sock that sticks to my shirt and I end

not noticing all day.

If you don't know there's a stray sock
on your shirt, maybe static cling isn't

your biggest problem.

Yes, what's going on? What's going on?

You're friends with drag. He's holding
me back.

Someone should have held you back from
making that movie.

Not cool.

Oh, sorry.

I want out of this relationship.

Not as bad as... I do. Guys, guys, let's
not make any rash decisions.

I know a great couples counselor.

We're beyond counseling.

But if you guys break up, my romance
series is dead.

But I'll be left with nothing but the
perfect breakup story.

Continue, but this time with more rage.

Hey, Amanda.

What's new?

Rebecca, I want to say I'm really sorry.

I found my pen.

I knew you would.

I want to make it up to you. You can
borrow anything you want. You don't have

to. It's water under the bridge.

How about my mini purse from Milan?

It's cool, but I need a mini wallet and
mini keys.

Take myself.

I'll even let you use my daytime minute.

I'm not a daytime caller.

I'm more evenings and weekends.

How about my hat?

I got it from a Saudi prince who was
crushing on me. Stop! I can't take it.

You're right. Your hat's not making it
work.

No.

I found your pen earlier. I was going to
tell you, but then I just sneaked it in

your file.

I see.

So this is how other people feel when I
lie to them.

I guess.

So, this is over?

Oh, no.

You're about to smell the smell of
revenge.

Oh, yeah? Well, I think you stink.

Stink would be an upgrade for you.

Can we smell revenge later?

Totally. I gotta see what's going on.

You always kid more about your stupid
food than you do about me.

Just because you're mad at me, don't
take it out on the sandwich.

This is gonna be huge.

If I have a problem with your sandwich,
that's up to me.

Is it, Wilder?

Shouldn't you be defending your
sandwich's honor?

Take that back, or... or... I'm
listening.

We're all listening, Wilder.

Or my stupid food will take its revenge.

See a celebrity slime fest. Wilder,
don't do it. Wilder, do it.

I can't do it.

Michael, I'm sorry.

We're not breaking up.

We were never even going out.

What?

You saw my story?

All lies.

Excuse me. Excuse me.

Move.

One step closer and you're going to get
it. I got green pudding and I'm not

afraid to use it.

You made fun of my singing. I also said
it was repetitive.

Braden's sad.

It's okay.

Sometimes we all make mistakes.

You should have seen some of my first
articles.

They weren't that good either.

You feeling better?

Yeah. That's good, because Noah's really
sorry he made fun of your album.

So great.

Am I the only one who didn't see this
coming?

Dude, I'm sorry I lied.

You made me look like a fool in front of
all my peers.

Yeah, that part was unfortunate.

What's it going to take for you to
forgive me? You're not rich, so I can't

really think of anything.

Wait!

Do you know what the three biggest
stories are for a gossip columnist?

have trouble remembering how the three
bears end.

There's the romance, there's the
breakup, and finally, there's the

And there's something about porridge,
too, right?

Not really. Listen, I want to do an
exclusive interview on how you and Vicky

lied to me, Michael Davies.

I'm not really comfortable with that.

Why we lied. A sneaky rat's tail.

That makes me less comfortable. By
tomorrow, your story of deception will

over the world.

My comfort isn't really important to
you, is it?

It's the price of forgiveness, my
friend.

English. I told you so.

French.

Spanish.

German.

Italian.

Portuguese.

Mandarin.

Don't worry, Rebecca.

I only have 23 more countries to go.

Polish.