Original subtitles

Why am I here, Wilder? I want to know what you think of my next article. I'm

calling it, Games That Go Boing.

Like, when you flick a springy doorstop, or a ruler on the edge of a desk, or

when you jump on furniture.

Allow me to demonstrate.

Boing, boing, boing, boing.

Boing.

Oh, boing.

Now I get it.

Boing, boing, boing, boing. Wilder!

Get off the couch!

Boing. Do you do this at home? Yes. And what does your mother say? Where do you

think you are? At work?

I just got an email from the Charity Cares Gala Fashion Show. Too fab.

Local reporters walking the runway for a good cause. It's a hoot. I did it two

years ago.

No way.

The McLean's magazine rep had to cancel?

The organizers now want someone from Bunch to model on the runway.

I accept.

Hello, Daddy's assistant.

Can you send over my facial expressions, coach?

I have a show tonight and I want to work on my runway smolder. Blah, blah, blah,

blah.

Wilder?

As in the event will be so much wilder if we've Amanda as the model?

Who's blah, blah, blah?

You are.

Sweet.

Can't let that exist.

Looks like the only look I'll be giving tonight is my no fair pout.

Watching the time pass.

Can't wait to get out and hang out with my friends.

Find out what's new.

Can we question on who?

When is that when we're through?

It's a whole new thing.

In the pages of my magazine.

the barista likes you.

No way.

How do you figure?

A, she always gives you the biggest muffin.

And B, didn't you notice the way she was tugging at her hairnet while you were

paying?

And that can mean she likes me.

Or she's uncomfortable wearing a net on her head.

That's because you don't speak the language of love.

I learned it from the stars.

Well, these stars are just like us. Except with better teeth and hair and

clothes. Yeah, they're just better. Anyway.

They like us speaking signs.

I didn't get the celebrity breakup scoop of the year for nothing. I got it

because I know when I love you really means you give me the creeps.

Really? So what's the sign for when a girl likes you?

Easy. That's a simple tug on the shoulder.

And what if she just wants to be friends?

Nothing says friends like a playful arm punch.

That's it? For a first lesson. Oh, wait. There's also the...

But that's only if she hates your cousin.

Hey, boys.

Wish I could hang, but I have to back upstairs.

She did both. The tug and the punch.

You care, says Rebecca.

You and Rebecca.

I'm so proud.

My best friend and my best you.

What does this mean?

Nothing. I'm the only one who does it.

I'm trying to quit. Trust me.

Whoa.

For a while there, the whole room was spinning.

The darkness.

You got here just in time.

You're going to hate doing that fashion show. Why?

It's just people staring at you.

You'd be surprised.

Well, that happens to me a lot.

Mostly when I leave my house.

The models are going to eat you for lunch. The hairstylists are going to

you up, and the designers are going to spit you out.

How does that make you feel?

Hungry.

Wilder, listen to me. The makeup people are going to powder your face.

Every five seconds, big, annoying, fluffy powder puffs.

I love powder puffs.

So puffy, so powdery.

I'll see you in the catwalk.

Claustra!

Can you pass the stapler, please?

Well,

if you're not too tired.

That's not my tired thigh.

That's my how -could -well -there's -no -my -chance -to -walk -the -runway -at

-charity -care thigh.

That was my I'll -get -my -own -stapler thigh.

Well, it was a tough decision, but I finally made it.

That's right.

If one of them has to go, I guess it should be Rebecca.

I mean, especially after her last three articles.

Mm -hmm.

So things work out for you and Rebecca.

What does that make me?

Michael. Still?

Seems to me that we should be related.

Uncle Mikey?

Look, I'm not even sure if there's something between me and Rebecca.

Then keep reading the signs.

I can't even read my own handwriting. How am I supposed to read her signs?

Hey, you can read them.

I guess I could.

Who knows Rebecca better than me?

I know everything there is to know in the Harper Handbook.

The Harper Handbook?

Yep. Like how Rebecca likes Neapolitan ice cream. She eats it chocolate first,

vanilla second, then strawberry.

Or how when she's feeling down, she goes to the batting cage and pretends she's

Justin Morneau.

Wow, this is good stuff.

Looks like I found myself a wingman.

Wingman.

Finally get to wear my wingtip shoes.

You nervous?

Modeling isn't as easy as it looks.

Look, Amanda, I've jumped off 20 -foot vertical ramps.

I can handle the horizontal.

Oh, you like that one?

There's more where that came from.

You missed Wilder doing this.

DJ's going to fire me.

Who gets fired from a job they don't even get paid for?

A person who's been treated unfairly.

Very sensitive, Noah.

What a guy.

What makes you think she's going to fire you?

I heard her on the phone today.

She said one of us has to go.

She probably meant me.

People are always confusing you and me.

Great sense of humor, Noah.

You like guys with a great sense of humor, right, Rebecca?

What else did she say?

It has to be Rebecca.

Okay. I can't fake that one.

What should I do?

We could, um... Go chop some wood.

We could go fly fishing.

We could go to a batting cage, hit a few balls.

I always do that when I need a little cheering up.

Perfect.

You two have a great night.

Do you know how many times I've walked 12 paces in a row without stumbling?

Several. I'm doing it right now.

Yeah, sorry about that, Trent. It must have been hard, but don't worry. I'm

no one noticed.

We're on TV.

Oh. This is the hard part, watching the world rip you apart.

His name is Wilder, and he's reinvented modeling from Milan to Tokyo. It's

called the Wilder Windmill, and it's the biggest thing to hit the fashion runway

since the flamingo flower.

Good job, Wilder. You did Buzz proud.

Guess the Wilder wasn't so bad after all.

Yes, you were. But fashion is totally shallow and unimaginative.

any new thing no matter how bad.

Which is why I love it so much.

Oh, why couldn't it have been me?

Just come up with something great like Wilder did.

How about the flamingo flounce?

It already exists.

She just said it on TV.

I knew I heard it somewhere.

Team Buzz, you want to book a special appearance with the inventor of the

windmill?

That's for me.

If you want to make money off Wilder, you'll have to deal with me.

Do you remember?

I'm Amanda Pierce of the Amanda Pierce Super Agency of the Superstars.

Wow. I've heard of them. They're good.

So, how'd it go last night?

Man, did I have a great time with her.

Even got her to forget about getting fired. You?

You know, do what wingman do.

Stay at home and order it in. Let me guess. Wings.

No. Chinese.

You know us wingman aren't restricted to foods named after us.

So my wingman plan for tonight.

Right. About that wingman stuff. I've been thinking. Me too.

And I'm thinking bumper cars.

Here's what we'll do. I'll have Rebecca in my sights. Ready to bumper it the

next Wednesday. Then you'll come out of nowhere and smash me to smithereens.

Here's the thing.

Aren't I already bought tickets to the tin banks? Bab, how much do I owe you?

The good news is, nothing.

I only got two tickets.

Oh, okay.

I'll just get my own.

Look, things are actually cool with Rebecca.

Aha, because your wingman made it so.

Right, but I can fly solo now, so I don't really need a wingman anymore.

You don't need me?

Nah, you can break off from the formation because Rebecca and I are on

autopilot.

Thanks, man. Mission accomplished.

I'd hate to see you crash and burn since you hadn't finished the Harper

handbook. Man, how long is this book anyway?

It's pretty lengthy.

I'll help you through the next chapter, but only if you do exactly as I say.

Your wingman wouldn't lead you wrong, would he?

Dudettes, you're about to see the Wilder Windmill for the first time on school

property. Welcome!

What are you doing?

Giving the fans what they want.

Your fans are going to pay or play basics.

Nobody's seeing anything for free.

Move it along, people. Nothing to see here.

Thanks for your support.

I love you all!

Don't give it all away. You've got a 1 .30 Wilder Windmill session with the

Spirit Squad. They're going to pay us $100 to teach it to the mascot.

Oh.

You're not going to get carried away with this stuff, are you?

Please. I respect you way too much as an artist and a friend.

The man appears super agency to the superstars.

What? He'd love to be your celebrity bingo caller.

Just go in there, Rebecca.

There must be a reasonable explanation.

I can't be getting fired. If I had a nickname, it would be Fireproof Harper.

Although, I always saw myself as more of a scoop or a peachy magoo.

Anyway, just do this now. You're not afraid.

Hello, Diane Jeffries here.

Yes, first order of business, Rebecca Harper.

You already know how I feel about this.

I believe you should be the one to tell her.

It's her face.

Times like this?

What would Peachy Magoo do?

Got it!

Come on, Noah.

She's there. She's ready.

Are you sure this is in the handbook?

Oh, yeah, baby. Page 46, chapter 10.

Rebecca's all about the bad boys.

Hello? Hey.

That's why I'm your wingman.

Don't go showing what you got.

Do something bad, bad boy.

Later. Rebecca's on Noah time now.

Hi, Baba.

Yep, studying hard. Thanks for asking.

Okay, bye now.

Thanks for trying to cheer me up, but I've got some things to do.

You set me up.

You better call in an SOS wingman, because you are going down.

If it makes you feel any better, I know a girl that has a crush on clowns.

The man appears super agency to the superstars.

Talk to me.

No, Wilder does not do kiddie parties.

Wait, how much?

Guess what? You now do kiddie parties.

Deal.

The man appears super agency to the superstars.

I'm listening.

You want Wilder to showcase Wacky Willie's Wild West western wear?

He'd love to.

Ten gallon hat, make it twenty. He is the windmill, you know.

No. No.

No.

No!

That was brilliant.

Playing hard to get is going to make this even more popular.

But the wild man already has a full life of video games and skateboards and

skateboard video games.

No.

It's like I'm trapped in another dude's body.

Nice bod, though.

If it was me, I'd be loving it.

But I'm not you.

You're loving it.

I want out.

No. The Wilder Windmill is bigger than you.

It's almost as big as me.

We windmill for all those poor, stiff -armed people who can't. We can change

world one runway at a time.

Don't quit on me.

Oh, you know I can't resist your notepair pout.

What's next for the Wilder Windmill? Another charity cares event?

Nope. Better.

Charity really cares.

I know, Baba.

Yeah, I know, I know, I know.

Okay, Baba, it's go time.

Hey, Rebecca, I would like you to... Well, wait.

Before you say anything, I think it's only fair that you hear me out.

Now watch.

Note for a story.

That's me.

Intelligent.

Team player.

Guess who?

Clean. Oh, is that me? Why, yes it is.

Now, the important thing here is to show you what I do here.

Like writing.

See? I use all my fingers. I could use one or two or even three.

Nope, all.

Count on me to be neat.

Rebecca, I want to... Fire me from team five?

Never!

Fire you?

I was going to say that I'd like to introduce you to Mr. Peterson.

He is the president of the Academy of Junior Journalists. He came here to tell

you that... You've just won a week -long retreat for teen journalists from

around the world.

Congratulations.

Any chance we could hold a retreat here?

I flush the keys down the toilet.

That's the way I rock it.

That's the way I rock it.

No.

No.

No.

Maybe, this Saturday, Wilder can't just perform at a drop of a hat. What a

trained monkey.

He's not trained.

Ciao.

Jordan, ten seconds. Time for your favorite part.

Powdery puppy.

Amanda, I can't do this anymore.

Ben, you shouldn't have signed a six -year exclusive contract.

Wilder, come on. You owe my public.

What's his problem?

Cloth truck.

Problem. Look out!

It took 42 blocks, but I got you.

Okay, do whatever you want.

Make it quick.

Ooh, an audience.

And fashion friendly.

I just want to know why you did this to me.

I thought if you went out with Rebecca, I'd lose her as a friend.

You too.

The only way you'd lose me as a friend is if you said small -c stuff like that

again.

It's the next thing you've ever said.

What do you say we give the public what they want?

Wingman. Let's work it.

Damien appears super -rainsy to the superstars.

You want the Wilder Windmill to open for Fashion Week follies?

I'm sorry.

Wilder's not available.

No, he's not available then either.

He's not available ever.

Wilder's moved on.

He's out of the modeling game.

Ciao.

I am?

Why'd you do that?

You know how you always trip and fall?

I think you mean the Wilder Windmill.

No, I mean...

Out of control Wilder, constantly falling down.

The fun was seeing you bounce back up with that big goofy smile on your face.

This? Not so fun.

And I expect my friends to provide me with fun.

Comprende? Wow, you did that for me?

Hugs.

That's my Wilder.

I could have made such a fortune off you.

Boing!

Too good, sometimes annoying, but always there for you in the end, friend.

Cheers.

Dude, what's the word for when you feel like you've been here before?

Two and the same thing?

Deja vu?

Yeah, like no matter what dumb stuff you guys do, we always end up back at the

blurb, having smoothies.

Nothing says meaningful friendship like sharing a thick, fruity drink.

This is just like the last time I forgot what deja vu meant.

High five!

Um, could we settle for low fives instead?