Original subtitles

Hey, Amanda, I'm going down to the blurb for a smoothie. You want something?

Uh, sure. Need a pen?

Nope. I'm putting it on the top shelf of my mind library.

Pardon? I'm committing it to brain lockdown.

English, por favor?

I'll remember it.

Okay.

One mangled strawberry, goji berry, banana blueberry, soy milk raspberry,

buster, go -go. Done.

One mango strawberry, goji berry, banana blueberry, sour milk raspberry, super

blaster go -go. Coming up.

Wow, Wilder. I'm impressed.

Told you.

All in the dome case.

Three, two, one.

How about a water instead?

Need a pen?

Yes.

Watching the time pass, no way to get out.

is its mother.

Oh, GleeTube, will you ever stop amusing us?

Oh, download Garden Hose at the demand of its own. I'll be back in a jiffy.

A jiffy?

Neato. Make sure you bring back other lame words with you when you do.

Oh, look!

Your shirt got caught on my hand!

What are you doing? What are you doing? Panicking because you're about to leave

me with a total stranger.

Michael, you're being ridiculous.

Noah's not a total stranger.

We've known him for two weeks.

Not helping.

Besides, you just interviewed Kisha Shante.

How is this any different?

Because when I talk to Kisha Shante, I'm not afraid of Kisha Shante. You know

what? You're being weird. No, no, no. Please don't make me laugh.

Hello, Noah.

Hey.

Hello.

You like hockey? Yeah, I like hockey.

Well, not hockey as much as hockey songs, you know.

I'll take that as a no.

So hanging out with Noah was that bad?

He asked me if I liked the Red Sox. I said I preferred Argyle.

Oh. Just... sat there in silence.

Well, was it a comfortable silence?

No, Rebecca. It was definitely uncomfortable.

Uncomfortable like watching your parents kiss.

Uncomfortable like realizing he's not actually blind. He's just wearing

You do know what this means, don't you? You're about to go like this and work

yourself into a frenzy?

No. Noah and I are working together on the hottest new teen magazine, which

means all of our interactions will be awkward, which means I'm going to have

avoid it for the rest of my life.

Which means it'll be like the first day of school forever.

Um, Michael?

Well, you could find something in common by hanging out with Noah.

Doing what? There's nothing that we could ever do together.

You could see a baseball game. Hey, Michael, just the person I was looking

It turns out that your interview with Tisha Shante went really well. She

these for you.

She sang the national anthem.

Please be tickets for Good Witch, Bad Witch.

Basketball tickets?

What am I supposed to do with these?

Michael.

Right.

with his imaginary girlfriend.

No, I'm reviewing that new game, Dance of Socks Off.

Besides, my imaginary girlfriend dumped me for my imaginary best friend.

Wish she hadn't, though. Then maybe I'd have someone to play this game with.

Oh, well, wish I could help. Seriously?

Seriously what?

Seriously, wish you could help.

No, silly.

It was a figure of speech like, wouldn't miss it for the world, or, of course

I'd love you as much as my real mom.

So, is that a no?

Yes. Great.

I mean, yes, it's an O.

Wilder, Amanda Pierce does not play computer games.

Amanda Pierce is too busy playing mind games.

Bummer. But hey, wouldn't be the first time I dance alone.

Fine, but I better not sweat.

And be careful with your feet, because, you know, they're gross.

This is nothing like how it looks.

Snooping?

Well, it's not really snooping if you don't really care, right? It's not why

here. Um, I just... Yeah, I just wanted to discuss some

midterm marks with you.

Ernie Coombs High School debating champions?

You went to Ernie Coombs High?

Yeah. I went to Ernie's D2.

Yeah. I know, Shepard. We were in the same... You don't remember me.

Oh, DJ, please. Me?

Of course. Of course I remember you. I mean, who could forget you? I mean, we

had that one class together with the thing, and then there was, you know, the

-ha -ha, and who could forget the whoop -whoop?

You have no idea who I am, do you? Not a clue.

I can't do this. Yes, you can.

This is just like the time you didn't want to jump off the high diving board,

but... You did. That's because you pushed me.

You were holding up the line.

Besides, everyone loved your panicky scream.

No, please don't do this again.

Noah, hey.

I got two tickets for tomorrow night's basketball game.

Cool. Chance to see Steve Nash?

Totally. Wait, wait.

Actually, I was thinking that...

One would be for you and the other one for me.

So we'd go at the same time?

Kinda.

Right. Yeah.

That should be fun.

At least this time the lifeguard didn't have to pull me out of the pool.

Again? Yep.

Whipped again.

Put on the flip tip.

These biscuits are now ready to wrap my review.

What?

Can't we just play one more game?

Losing eight games in a row is my limit.

Plus, my reviews do.

It's because I'm beating you, isn't it?

If that was true, I would have quit seven games ago.

Here. Let Wilder introduce you to the wild world of online gaming.

You can use the internet for things other than shopping?

Let me do that.

We must have gone out.

Okay, give me a sec.

This is going to come to me.

Let me see. First there was Lisa.

Then there was rocker chick Lisa.

And don't forget Lisa Lisa.

God, I really had a thing for Lisa's.

I don't have time for this.

Oh, um, it was gym class.

10th grade, and Coach Miller, he set up that obstacle course, and you and me

were kissing under the parachute, and then that's... Yeah, Shepard, I don't

think this is a good idea. No, no, no, that girl, remember? Is this what I have

to do? She fell from above. She was climbing the rope, and then boom!

What was her name again? She had a nickname. It was really funny.

Trianglehead.

I wonder whatever happened to that girl. I'm sure she moved on and became very

successful.

Hello, sunshine.

Your country may have internet, but you've still got a lot to learn about

dancing.

Wilder, I want to apologize.

I know I always told you gaming was boring and you were lazy.

Um, you never told me that.

Oh, right. I just thought that.

Woohoo! Paraguay, you're finished.

Eastern Europe, you're going down.

Anywho, I didn't realize gaming could be such hard work.

But now, I know I was...

Wrangled?

No, rickshaw.

I know.

Rhinoceros.

Guess, Wilder, I was rhinoceros.

I meant wrong.

Oh, yeah, that makes more sense.

Now, let's get a refreshing smoothie.

My game is starting.

Wilder, get me some water and a foot massager. My feet are killing me.

Sure, Amanda.

Or should I say, Demanda?

Good one.

Excuse me. Pardon me. Superfan coming through.

My feet's over there. No, over there.

It's going to be good.

Not awkward at all. Just me and Noah hanging out.

Coming through.

Excuse me, sir. This seat is reserved.

It's reserved for my friend Noah. We're not actually friends yet. You must be

Michael. I'm Noah's Uncle Ron.

But they call me Tiger Hair.

Yeah.

Noah.

Noah.

Noah.

You're back from the game early.

Yeah. Time flies when you're having fun.

Wait a second.

Time hasn't flown at all.

You didn't go, did you?

Nah. I thought I should finish my piece on the arcade fire.

So I gave the ticket to my Uncle Ron instead.

This is not good.

This is not good at all.

Come on, Michael's not going to care. He's probably relieved. It's not that

a deal.

You!

Oh, I think it's a big deal.

You got a second?

Shepard, I know why you're here, and I just want to let you know that it's

It's okay?

Yes. I mean, what happened earlier was...

Catastrophically humiliating.

I was going to say awkward, but let's face it, that would have been a lie.

you don't remember a late bloomer with a great personality gracefully plummeting

to the hardwood floor. You don't have to apologize.

That's why I'm not.

Excuse me? See, at first I felt bad for calling you Trianglehead, but then I

figured it out.

Enlighten me, Sherlock.

You used to sit near me every day at lunch, and I remember because I used to

study your head to try to figure out the shape, I thought the leaves,

Pythagorean, hypothesis.

Build that triangle.

Oh, you would know, wouldn't you?

The thing is, DJ, you used to sit near me every day at lunch because you had a

crush on me. I had a... Shepard, did you ever think that maybe you were the one

that was always around me? You don't have to be ashamed.

Lots of ladies like me.

Especially the Lisas.

I forgot. This is my office. Out.

I know you like me.

Oh, and for the record, the Geometry Club loved my triangle head.

As a journalist, it's your job to be fair. And I don't think you're giving

Michael a fair chance. I know, but... He's kind of weird.

How would you know? You don't even know him.

He named... his stapler, Henry.

I told him not to tell anyone about that.

Come on, Noah. Just promise me you'll try and fix this. For me.

All right, fine.

I'll try to fix this for you.

It isn't Uncle Ron's favorite nephew.

Got any other shirtless relatives you want me to meet?

Noah, don't you have something you want to say to Michael?

Actually, yeah.

What's the big deal?

Oh, dear.

Sure, I gave the ticket to my uncle. That's because I didn't think he'd care.

mean, it's not like we're good friends or anything.

That's the point.

But Uncle Ron's fun, too, right? He ate all my fruit leathers.

Michael, I'm sorry.

I totally didn't realize I was being a jerk.

Most jerks don't.

What do I have to do to make it up to you?

Whatever you want.

Really?

Whatever I want?

Walter!

Hey, Amanda. What's going on? Crack -a -lack.

I've got a problem.

I'm so happy to hear you say that.

That's the first step, kid.

Admitting it.

No! My right jazz hand isn't living up to my left!

And I'm one kickball change away from beating Hop Skip 799.

The dancer socks -off champion from Japan?

He's been number one for months! Not for much longer.

I'm going after a title, and nothing's going to stop me.

Listen to yourself, Amanda.

This game has taken over your life.

You have to stop dancing your socks off.

No way.

There's at least 50 countries in this world, and I'm not going to get beat by

number eight.

You hear that?

That sounds like dancer socks off music.

I need to play one more game.

That's so rhinoceros.

You left me at the stadium with your clothing optional uncle, and now you

to make it up to me?

But how? How could you ever make this up to me? I'm sure you'll think of

something.

Shall I make you lick the school water fountain?

Deal. Or wear clothes from the lost and found.

Come on, Michael. You've had all day to think of this. Even I have come up with

ten things I wouldn't want to do.

All right, let me put you out of your misery.

Good. By putting you in more misery.

Good witch, bad witch, a musical?

I got complimentary tickets for the whole gang.

And I think you should come, considering how much you love musicals. And going

to this musical would make you feel better about the whole basketball game

incident. No, no, no. See, the good thing about good witch, bad witch, the

musical is you get to dress up when you see the show.

Should I dress you up as the good witch?

Or the bad witch?

That's it. That's why.

Draw the line. I'm out of here.

Can't I just eat a bug?

Banda, we need to talk.

You've completely lost sight of who you are.

I don't care what you say, what's your face.

Nothing is going to come between me and my...

That's you.

Am I?

I have pit stains.

No. What have I become?

I don't know. What were you before?

Wilder, with you as my witness, I'll never drip sweat drops again.

Good.

A little too late for me, but still good.

Ew.

Before we go,

You could use a bit of a mop -up.

Later. Good night, DJ.

Good night, guys.

Oh, hey, by the way, you guys did a great job on this issue.

Thanks. You're welcome.

Ciao, Mr. S. Night, Mr. Shepard.

What do you want, Shepard? Come up with any more hilarious triangle jokes? No.

I've dropped that, just like you dropped them from the sky.

Me falling from the roasting gym wasn't all that bad. I mean, there was some

good that came from it. Yes, I remember. You got to miss gym for the next couple

months. Well, that, and I got a cast at the whole class signed.

I'll never forget it.

While I was in the hospital, still heavily sedated, somebody came in and

the sweetest thing.

You're my fallen angel.

Actually, it was your my fallen angle.

It was you.

You were the one that signed my cast.

Andrew Shepard wrote on my cast.

Which means... You liked me, you liked me, I knew it.

Where are your costumes, guys?

Oh, didn't I say I had tickets to the musical?

I meant I had tickets to the hockey match.

Hockey tickets?

Hockey tickets? Are you kidding me?

Were all of you guys in on this...

Charge.

Now I know why they call them tights.

By the way, I'm never promising you anything again.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just put your hat on and enjoy the game, Pinkerbell.

Look at it this way, dude. It could get worse.

Really? How?

Well, you could be sitting next to Uncle Ron.

You know what, Michael?

I was a jerk, and I totally deserved this.

Yes, you did.

To new friends.

And hey, if wearing a pink tutu was the worst thing about this night, then it

was totally worth it.

Yeah, about that.

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome our special guest tonight, Michael Davies

and the new writers from Teen Buzz magazine.

Hey, look, I was right.

I told you it could get worse.