Original subtitles

I've never felt this nervous, and I'm counting the time that I saw Kelly

Clarkson at the airport.

Actually, you only saw her luggage.

Maybe, but that carry -on had star power.

Men in this envelope could say, Michael Davies, you're one of the new writers

for Teen Buzz magazine.

Or it could say, Rebecca Harper, you're not good enough to write for the coolest

magazine ever.

Why don't you open my envelope and I'll open yours?

But read it right away.

No mumbling, no fake -outs, and no weird wiggly eyebrow thingies.

Deal.

One, two, three.

You got in.

Yes! I got in!

I got in!

Yes, I got in!

There's just two things left to say. Congratulations, and don't ever let

see you do that horrifying jig.

I can't believe it.

Next week, Teen Buzz will actually be run by a group of ninth graders just

me.

Awesome!

OMG. She said that? No way.

Nice outfit.

Someone really knows how to bargain shop.

Wrong floor.

Nerds Weekly is one down.

Dude.

first day of school except today your mom isn't dragging you kicking and

screaming well if she didn't want me to act out she should let me wear my top

hat lol jk tkyl and there's school prom

queen hit her already omg i totally love your tie and i totally love you

michael davis celebrity beat i mean appear fashion obvious

I know you think I'm the nerd girl, but my real name is Rebecca Harper.

I cover student issues.

Peer pressure, students, teachers, parents.

Noah Jackson. I try to avoid all those things.

I cover music.

Rebecca Harper and Noah Jackson.

Dude, I'm Wilder. Gaming guy.

Ow!

Attention me, everyone. Attention me.

I have an announcement.

Now, we're all here because we're talented, mature people who know what

want.

With that in mind, dibs on this table.

Think of my job as part teacher, part mom, and part lion tamer.

Okay, then.

Well, I know you're all anxious to get started, but before that, I need to

approve your story pitches. So, why don't you guys get back to your desks

think of a title for your column.

You can give it to me at the end of the day.

What?

A title?

She needs a title?

Is she always like this? Yep.

This is only first here.

What are we going to do? A title for a poem takes time. We can't be expected to

come up with a name just like that.

Game on.

Name dropping.

Fasten forward.

Here to the graph.

Um, important school things.

Nah. Big deal.

with Michael Davies.

Kelly Clarkson's manager?

Please hold.

Kelly Clarkson wants me to interview her.

Oh, man, oh, man, what am I going to do?

Say yes, you big doorknob.

Sorry about that. I had Jake Epstein on the other line.

First off, I would like to say what an honor this is.

Of course, I'll abide by any interview rules Kelly might have.

And no questions about that TV show, Got It, or her love life.

And let Noah Jackson have the good desk. Can do.

Wait a second.

So it's going to be like that, is it?

You take my desk, you pay the price.

Do you know who you just messed with?

A kid who has no idea how to get me back. Exactly.

I loved your pitch to review a game from when Buzz launched 20 years ago. The

idea came to me when I wondered, what would it be like to review a game from

when Buzz launched 20 years ago?

Yeah.

Look what I found in storage.

What is it, a time machine?

Close. It's Football Fury, an actual video game from the 1980s.

Man, did people even have thumbs back then?

Very funny.

No way.

I just lost to a video game from the 80s. That's like losing an arm wrestling

match with my grandma.

Who's also in her 80s.

Weird.

I know.

You go all the way to Italy for a wedding and they won't even let you take

centerpiece?

Tacky.

back hey nerve -wracking huh you having your pen like that no waiting for dj to

prove our story ideas sorry i

don't know why i'm nervous i gave dj 10 story ideas she has to like one you gave

10 pitches i only gave one and i thought of it this act thank goodness i put it

on pink paper and use a super cool font i've gone over your pitches

And I hate saying this, but you just didn't quite get what I was looking for.

Better luck next time, Rebecca.

Don't worry. You'll get it. I know it.

Amanda, good job, kiddo.

But I had ten ideas and you only had one.

What can I say? I was born to do this.

day ever.

DJ is going to love all of my ideas.

Later, I toss my hat in the air with joy.

Boo -hoo and who again?

You're not the only one whose hat remains untossed.

DJ rejected your three ideas too?

One of them, she loved the other one.

I'm talking about the humiliation that Noah could laid on me.

Good thing I came up with the perfect revenge plot.

Noah's gonna have to put these CDs back in the right cases before he can add in

his reviews.

I wish I could see the look on his face when he finds out. I wish I could see

the look on your face when he gives you a super wedgie.

He's coming. Quick.

Casual.

What's with your friend?

He's just acting casual.

Let the games begin.

No, like yesterday.

That's good. I feel like last week.

I've been up all night playing a game.

Don't bother. I couldn't even score one touchdown.

Every time I got sacked.

Every single time.

I got one of those touchdown thingies.

What? How did you do that?

I don't know.

I must be good at everything.

that works at Buzz.

And you're that guy who thinks Kelly Clarkson called him. Huh, that's me.

Guilty as charged.

You know, you really got me good on that one.

So, did you listen to any CDs last night?

A few.

Why? Yes!

That's right.

For my goldenies.

I just pulled a prank of epic proportion.

Why can't you high -five yourself?

Oh, wait. What am I thinking? Of course I can.

Yeah!

What are you talking about?

You know the CDs?

I put them in different jewel cases. Tell me you didn't. Oh, I'm dangerous.

I just turned in my review to those for DJ.

Now I'm going to trash a band I like and give a great review to one I didn't.

You're about to learn what payback is all about, my friend.

Oh, this played out way better in my head.

Welcome to Media Studies.

I'm Mr. Shepard.

Now... You're either here because you're part of the teen buzz staff or because

you flunked woodshop.

I'm here because of both.

Okay, let's get started with the basics.

Dude, I was playing that.

I'll pick that up after class, Mr. Shepard. Try after detention.

After detention it is.

Okay, who here can name the five W's of journalism?

You, man.

Pierce. Amanda Pierce.

You're Amanda Pierce?

Looks like we have publishing royalty in class, guys.

No, we don't. I'm just your typical teen who wants to teach you to move on and

talk about the 5Ws.

Come on, don't be shy.

Amanda's dad owns the conglomerate that publishes Teen Buzz.

I guess you were born to do this.

Tonight on Entertainment Wow, Teen Buzz magazine hires a staff of young writers.

Will Buzz stay in biz or will it fit?

Can this move save the troubled franchise?

Troubled franchise, who do they know?

Hey, Rebecca, what's up?

Nothing really.

It's just, how can I say this without sounding whiny?

I don't think it's fair you rejected all my stories. They were good.

They were really good.

My Bob -Obs thought they were great.

I'm sure your Bob was a nice lady, but she's not our target audience, Rebecca.

Why is this so hard?

I was going to hit a home run.

I can't even name my column.

When I joined Buzz, I was only a couple years older than you. Do you think I was

a hit right out of the gate?

No, I guess not.

Well, actually, I was.

But I was a bit of a whiz kid, which is why head office let me go back to my

school and recruit students who would give this magazine what it needed.

Free labor?

No, the voice of a real teen.

And I'm not doing that?

Not yet.

Hey, you want the voice of a real teen?

You'll get the voice of a real teen. Just watch me.

That would have been so much cooler if I hadn't done that.

I'm an editor.

Consider it cut.

Brought you a snack?

What is it? Muffin tops.

I ate all the bottoms because, well, nobody likes muffin bottoms.

Nobody likes half -eaten muffins either.

You're still going down.

How is this different than what you did to me? Because what I did to you only

made you look like a goof.

What you did to me could cost me this job.

Oh, right. Besides that, you have to admit that you are remarkably close.

Go away.

I have to figure out how to get my review off DJ's desk.

Or it's goodbye interview with Billy Talent and hello woodshop.

The finger thing again.

That never gets old.

Stop fake laughing.

Fine, I'll do anything.

Anything?

I hope you learned your lesson.

Actually, I didn't. You know what would really help me?

took this game, put it in a box, then found an elephant, put him in the car,

get him to drive over that box.

Uh, what's going on, Wilder?

Tell Mr. S. Maybe I can help.

I need help getting to the next level.

I've mastered thousands of video games in my life, but this thing is basically

four Christmas lights and a shoebox, and I can't get anywhere.

I could help you with that, but I find, Wilder, that sometimes, when you're

stuck on an assignment, it helps if you go away and work on another story.

That way, when you come back, you'll have a fresh perspective.

You lost me at some times.

Noah Jackson, what's up?

Do kids even say that?

I hope not.

Are those all yours?

Nice. Oh, they're nothing, really. You know, I hardly even remember what

for.

Hey, hey, grubby paws.

Get your fingerprints off of that.

This is my mentoring award.

You're certainly my mentor.

Thank you, Noah.

You know, I'm actually impressed with you. You know, I heard you were quite a

bit of a wise guy and usually up to no good.

Me? No good?

Those days are behind me. I'm all about teen buzz now.

That and the planet. Gotta save the planet. It's the only one we've got. It

certainly is.

Say, who's that a picture of?

Oh, that's Nelly Furtado.

She's got nothing on you.

Who's that handsome devil? I bet you have a crush on him.

That's my boss.

Well, he's got your beautiful eyes.

can't be michael care to explain i was trying he made me do it i have no

idea what he's talking about i just came to hand in my review on teen bands

sorry it's late but somehow all the cds got mixed up thank goodness cds are

labeled and i can read so what do you have

to say for yourself can you please help me

Why can't I do this? Why can't I do this?

Have fun working. I'll be downstairs relaxing at the blurb.

Does your dad own the blurb, too?

No, he just owns this building.

Must be nice.

Just so you know, the final Teen Buds position was down to you and some other

girl. My dad couldn't decide, so he let me decide for him.

I may be here because of my dad, but... You may be here because of me.

Wow.

I don't know what to say.

Don't say anything.

Just help me show my dad that I picked the best journalist.

Besides me.

Best? I can't even come up with the title for my column.

Rebecca's Fun Feature. Hey, everybody, read Rebecca. Don't touch that dial.

Rebecca.

That last one didn't even make sense.

Look, you can do this. You're just trying too hard.

Becca Harper trying too hard.

That's me in so many words.

Yes!

That's the name of my column! In so many words!

You're right!

I was trying so hard, I forgot about the fun.

I'll never try hard again.

Michael, where have you been?

Hanging around.

You must know as punishment, DJ made me organize her desk.

That's not so bad.

While I was dangling from the ceiling?

I'm going to get you for this.

Oh, no. What are you going to do? Mix up my sock drawer?

The horror. The horror.

Noah Jackson.

Billy Talent, huh?

Normally, you should wait more than two seconds before you prank call someone.

Hello, Mr. I'm so lame.

If you're from Billy Talent, why do you sound so lame? Is it because you're

lame?

the interviews you could set up while you're dangling above DJ's contact list.

And have a very persuasive phone voice.

Oops!

Yes! I have conquered the 80s. Watch your back, Grandma.

You're on notice.

I never hear you say... Whoa! Help me! Okay.

Why are you chasing me? Because my legs are headed in that direction.

Enjoy.

Good,

but some things aren't quite right.

Theme, check.

Subtext, check.

I know.

Paint paper and a cool font?

How's it going?

See for yourself.

In So Many Words by Rebecca Harper.

Article 1.

Taking the work out of homework.

Here,

I'll proof it. You know you love to over -punctuate.

And I'll look through some photo archives to see if we can find any cool

And I'll make the sound of a cheering crowd to pump us up.

Dude's sawing hot.

You did good, kid.

Come on, I'll give you a lift home.

Don't worry about it.

I did the exact same thing my first week.

Except mine was a cashmere hat, and I think it's still up there somewhere.