Original subtitles

Listen, we're going to be able to get the flight from Houston with a

flight in Atlanta, so it's going to work out perfectly.

All right?

You want a window seat?

What I can do there?

Window seat.

Oh, I got you one.

Yep. And it's on the inside of the plane.

How do you like that?

It's just a travel agency joke, mister.

Mr. Gray, yeah, that's right. That's why we're here, is to make traveling fun.

All right, then. Well, listen, you have a nice flight, and thanks for going

places.

All right, bye now. Tell the missus I said hi.

I know you're a little confused, frankly.

I don't get it myself.

But, see, what's going on is...

You know, during the summer, you know there was that writer's strike that shut

down the whole town? You know about that, right?

All right.

So I had to take a job here at this travel agency during the summer.

So I didn't know when we'd be starting the show up again, so I'm stuck here.

This is my last week. I'm out of here, and then I'll be doing my show full

But in the meantime, I've got to do my work here.

So just bear with me if you...

Don't mind. It's a great job. It's exciting because I get to meet lots of

interesting people and, you know, I'm a people person.

So this is perfect for me.

So let me just finish Mr. Gray's ticket.

Hey, has anyone seen those TWA vouchers?

They're on, uh, Coletta's desk. Oh, thanks.

Where they're supposed to be.

Right. Where you were supposed to put them?

Right. Where I put them for you.

That's great, Gary. And remind me to tell you where you can put my typewriter

little later, huh?

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.

Hi. Hi, Nancy.

Oh, hi, Ian. Oh, that's beautiful.

Thanks. Oh,

that's Nancy's new boyfriend, Ian. I know he looks... A lot like that guy in

soap opera, but it's not the same guy, I swear.

He's really been hanging around here a lot. I can't believe he's actually back

again.

And you'd think he'd bring flowers for everybody.

Like she's so special.

Oh, it's my coffee break.

If you'll just excuse me, why don't you listen to the opening theme, and I'm

just going to have a well -deserved cigarette and a cup of java, all right?

This is the theme to Gary's show.

The theme to Gary's show. Gary called me up and asked if I would write his theme

song. I'm almost halfway finished. How do you like it so far?

How do you like the theme to Gary's show?

This is the theme to Gary's show. The opening theme to Gary's show. This is

music that you hear as you watch the credits.

We're almost two apart.

of where I start to whistle. Then we'll watch a Gary Shandling show.

This was the theme to Gary Shandling's show.

Oh.

That's right, I smoke now because I'm a travel agent.

Did you see that? He drank all the coffee.

This guy comes in here. He doesn't even work in here.

He's just her boyfriend. He comes and he drinks all the coffee. You know, and he

doesn't even chip in.

Ain't no one kidding.

Look, there's not even any water. Look, we're low on water.

There wasn't any water in there at all earlier, I swear.

I don't even know where that water came from. Believe me.

I bet he goes from the coffee maker to the water to the coffee maker to the

water.

And back again.

Nancy, if you're going to be here much longer, I really should call the field

and have them hold the curtain on me.

Ian, you are too much.

Honestly.

Oh, Gary, don't you just love his accent?

I live for his accent.

Really, I'd love to hear how it sounds when he says, can I chip in for coffee?

Can I see a minute? Oh, oh, oh, Mr.

Cravely. Mr.

Cravely. You're going to love my boss, Mr. Cravely. He's the best boss in the

whole world.

Oh, did you know, did you see these?

Employee of the month.

Gary, Gary.

The letter.

Gary.

is better than an Emmy Award, isn't it?

God, don't you hate stiletto.

You know, I could have been employee of the month, too, if I'd worn a flimsy

halter top.

Shandling! Oh, coming, Mr. Cravely.

But just for a second, because I want to make sure I complete my full day's

work.

Oh, me too, sir.

Me too. These are bad for you. And bad for the office. Listen, Gary, I'm having

a little problem with your friend Nancy.

Really? Yeah.

What? Well, ever since she started... Give me that. Ever since she started...

got it. I got it.

Ever since she started seeing this new guy, you know, her new boyfriend, her

work has been slacking off something awful. And, you know, I... Well, let me

it this way. I hate to let her go.

Let her go, Mr. Cravely, but she's just in love. You remember when you were

first in love with, you know, the beautiful, beautiful... The

beautiful Mrs.

Cravely?

There's nothing like this of her, sir. It wasn't in company time.

No, no.

I wasn't implying that it was, sir. I know it wasn't during company time. It's

just...

Look, why don't you let me talk to Nancy? Because, you know, she's a friend

mine. I think I can straighten the whole thing out. Great. I was hoping you'd

see it that way. Thanks.

Thank you, Mr. Franklin. And by the way, great job in landing the Lakers

account. It's my favorite team. Oh, mine too, sir. Mine too. And I think this is

one form of traveling the Lakers won't mind.

Huh? Huh? Huh?

Just wanted to make sure everything was set for Pete's parents' flight tomorrow.

Oh, sure, let me check.

You know, it's the baby's first birthday tomorrow.

Yes, please, Jackie. Okay.

I love the way you punch those buttons.

Could you hit another one? Oh, stop.

Hit a big one.

No.

Go on, just one.

Big one. All right, just one.

Easy being a nine to five working man.

Come home and watch the boob tube a little.

to get my show.

Did you guys have a nice time at the play? Oh, it was great.

Well, I got your note, Gary.

You didn't call me over here to watch your show again, did you?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

It's not a good one anyway.

I just want to talk to you about your work. That's why I got that note.

What about my work?

Ian, Ian, Ian, why don't you sit down and watch some TV?

No, thanks. I never watch TV, Gary.

This could be a good start.

Come on, have a seat.

Really, it's a comedy. It's great. Sit down.

You'll be very interested.

Sit. Look, it's you. It's you.

Oh, my goodness.

It is me.

Nancy?

Look, I'm on TV. Oh, you look good on TV, honey.

Look, I'm smiling.

I'm frowning.

Well, cheer up on that.

Okay,

Gary.

What about work?

It's about Ian.

Cravely wanted to know about Ian. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

You mean you were talking to Mr. Cravely about my personal life? No, no, no, no,

no. Not exactly. He brought it up. It's just that, look,

you've got to admit that your personal life has completely invaded your work.

And your work's suffering.

Oh, is it really Mr. Cravely's little pet?

I am not Mr. Cravely's little pet. Oh, no.

Oh, don't do this.

Oh, oh, nice cologne, Mr.

Cravely. Oh, thank you, thank you. Oh, oh, oh, make me employee of the month,

Mr. Cravely.

You know, you get jealous. You're just jealous. This is like Amadeus. That's

that's going on here.

That is, that is it. Forget it, forget it. Why don't you just worry about your

job, and I will worry about mine. Thank you very much. Ian, we're going. Don't

say I didn't try to tell you.

Don't say I didn't try to tell you.

Hey, thanks, guys.

I'll grab your house. Oh, great.

Great. My house.

What'd I miss?

Did I miss anything?

Nancy, could you hand me the Amtrak schedule, please?

Nancy?

Nancy, could I? Hello?

Hello?

Thank you.

You throw like a girl. You know that?

You throw. You throw.

Okay. Okay.

Tell her, Pete.

Nancy, you lost my parents.

What are you talking about?

Well, they weren't booked on their connecting flight, and now they're

in Charlotte, North Carolina.

Oh, no. That can't be right. Yes, it is. Yeah. Look.

Oh, my God. It's been a race. This is horrible. They're going to miss the

now. No, no, no.

I can probably book him another flight. Go ahead. Let's go.

Come on.

Well, they're all full.

I see. You've been booking everybody else but them.

I'm sorry. I'm upset.

My parents are trapped in the deep south.

Excuse me. Oh, Mr. Gravely. Your cologne sure smells nice today. Yeah. Excuse

me. Is there a problem?

Oh, no, no. Everything's just fine, Mr. Gravely. Oh, running as smooth as your

silk tie.

Thank you, Gary. Look, Nancy, when you're done working with these people,

you step into my office? Oh, sure, you bet. Look, poor Grant isn't going to see

his Nana and Pop -Pop ever again.

All right, just excuse me one minute. Have a seat, Pete.

Oh, Gary, this is all my fault. You know what I did? I was fooling around with

Ian on the computer, and I erased the Schumacher reservation. No, I know, I

know, I know. He's going to kill me. I know, I know, I know he is. All right,

let's think for a second.

I think I know there's a way to get the Schumachers out of Charlotte.

Didn't we book the Lakers on a flight, and then we had to make some special

arrangements for Kurt Rambis?

Oh, right, because now he's with the Hornets, the Charlotte Hornets. The

Charlotte Hornets, that's right. And, you know, I think he had a return flight

today.

And if I recall,

I booked... There it is. I booked him three seats because he's so tall.

Oh, Gary.

Was I thinking? Was I thinking?

I tell you, it always comes back to me. You know how hard I... Gary, the party

starts at 7 o 'clock.

It's so exciting.

You know, I have wanted to get Kurt Rambis on my TV show for so long.

it be funny if it's me working at a travel agency to finally meet him?

Hello, Charlotte.

Hello, Charlotte.

Go in places. This is Gary Shandling. Sherman Oaks, go in places.

How's it going?

Listen, we have a serious problem.

A and C. Want to sit near the window? I know how you like to watch the wings.

I think I have the whole row here.

Yes, again, string bean.

Read them and weep.

Go ahead, honey.

Sorry.

Thank you.

Oh, my foot.

Okay.

Oh, my purse.

Okay, honey.

While we were boarding the plane, I spit out my gum.

And I think it got swallowed up by the engine.

That's not going to hurt anything, is it?

No, no, don't be silly. A little piece of gum can't hurt a supersonic engine.

Hey, that's my armrest.

They dropped off the screen. Wait a minute.

Oh,

I've never seen anything like this. They had to make an emergency landing in

Denver because the engine blew a big bubble and then went out.

I've never heard of that happening.

Honey, that always seems to happen whenever your parents fly.

What are you going to do? What are you going to do? Look,

I think I can get them on a federal express plane.

I know there's one in San Diego. Gary, these are old people. Gary, that's not

good enough for my parents.

recognize you. You're Kurt Rambis. Oh, you're the white boy who wears glasses

the basketball court.

Kurt, Kurt, I, would you let me try on you?

you didn't start this year.

Try hers on. Go ahead.

These are great.

Oh, look. I can read every name on these overnight letters.

There's Helen Aronson and Eddie Albalufia.

I tried to get him through on us. Gary, Gary, I put my trust in Lou. And look

what you've done.

Thanks a lot. I can't do this. Look what he's done. I can't do this. Don't

worry. Everything's going to be okay. I can't do this. Come on, Gary. Get him

together. Hello?

Gary,

get a grip on yourself.

Lou,

Lou, Lou.

Mr. Fields needs a rest. Mr.

Delano.

Changing your address?

Please allow three weeks for delivery.

Find things fast in our classifieds. For information on rates, call our toll

-free number.

Will you please read to yourself?

I can't help it. These glasses, they've opened up a whole new world for me.

Told you not to do business with friends.

This is a first.

Kurt Rambis, and you have the same glasses as Nana.

Come on, let's go, everybody, in the car.

Wow, Kurt Rambis right here in my own

travel agency.

Wow, thanks to them.

I mean, after that plane made that emergency landing in Denver, I thought

never get to L .A. on schedule.

But I sure did. And I can see, too.

Hey, that's great. Hey, maybe you want to stick around and, you know, book some

passages for you and your teammates. How about that? Sure.

Okay. Can I read some of those brochures over there? Sure.

The earlier, the better.

Jamaica, Hawaii.

How's that? Yeah? Great. Step into my office.

Oh, man.

Wow.

First the Lakers account, then the Hornets account.

Wow. Yeah, Shandling, you are a disgrace to the travel industry.

I'm glad you're leaving.

Thanks, Mr. Cravely, but... His cologne stinks.

Thank goodness.

This is my last week at the travel agency. Now I can go back to doing my

the way I'm used to. And maybe I can be employee of the month at my own show.

If Leonard Smith doesn't wear a halter top.

And I think we have a potential new character in that Mr. Cravely, that

Mr. Cravely. Boy, you make one little mistake and he just snaps.

You know, the business world is tough.

Jed Clampett is right when he said it's a jungle out there, Ellie Mae.

Well, you folks in the travel business know what I'm talking about.

I'm going to sit here and just watch the closing credits and see you

next week.

Oh, there's my name.

Oh, I don't know who those other two people are. I've got to find out because

I'll bet you they're getting paid.

See, the faster these names go by, the less important they are.

Let's see, who else is there?

Terry Barr. I've seen her around the office. I don't know exactly what

Kurt Rambis is himself.

That's a big, really big stretch for him. Many times he is himself.

What else?

Casting. Let's see what else is here.

Lyrics written by Alan Zwiebel. Zwie... Zwei... Boy, if anyone knows how that's

pronounced, write in.

Because I've embarrassed myself to his whole family.

Hair. Well, there's a few names missing there.

Who the hell is that?