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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:11,810 --> 00:00:12,810 Thank you. 2 00:00:13,210 --> 00:00:14,210 Thank you. 3 00:00:16,129 --> 00:00:17,130 Thanks. 4 00:00:17,390 --> 00:00:19,050 Thank you very much. No, no. 5 00:00:19,870 --> 00:00:20,870 No, no. 6 00:00:20,890 --> 00:00:22,750 Okay. All right. 7 00:00:23,770 --> 00:00:26,850 Just so you folks at home know, we have somebody queuing the applause. 8 00:00:27,590 --> 00:00:30,630 It's the same people I take with me on dates. All right? 9 00:00:31,640 --> 00:00:35,380 Welcome to the show. It's, of course, great to see you. I really can't see 10 00:00:35,440 --> 00:00:36,980 but what the hell. 11 00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:42,920 And we have a wonderful show. It's come at the end of one of the craziest weeks 12 00:00:42,920 --> 00:00:47,040 we've ever had here. No, no, let me tell you about the week we've had. 13 00:00:47,740 --> 00:00:48,900 You're not going to believe this. 14 00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:56,320 Some of you are going to be ahead of me on this, but Nancy got her toe stuck in 15 00:00:56,320 --> 00:00:57,520 a bowling ball, all right? 16 00:00:58,010 --> 00:01:00,310 And the strange thing is, she raised her average. 17 00:01:00,650 --> 00:01:01,650 Okay. 18 00:01:02,030 --> 00:01:08,030 The Schumachers, the Schumachers, the entire family got amnesia, which 19 00:01:08,030 --> 00:01:11,210 doesn't affect their lives at all. It's a weird thing. 20 00:01:11,550 --> 00:01:15,210 I swallowed a harmonica again. I can't get into that whole story, how it 21 00:01:15,210 --> 00:01:17,210 happened. Just trust me, it was bedlam the whole week. 22 00:01:17,470 --> 00:01:21,310 Unfortunately, none of that stuff happened on the day we taped the show. 23 00:01:21,770 --> 00:01:24,950 Did you ever notice a lot of other television shows, all the exciting stuff 24 00:01:24,950 --> 00:01:26,530 happens to happen. 25 00:01:27,180 --> 00:01:29,160 the day they do the show. 26 00:01:29,680 --> 00:01:30,680 What a coincidence. 27 00:01:32,460 --> 00:01:34,100 Here we just live, you know. 28 00:01:35,440 --> 00:01:38,760 And there's really nothing going on today. I just have to straighten up the 29 00:01:38,760 --> 00:01:40,040 house. I have some cleaning to do. 30 00:01:41,420 --> 00:01:45,800 And it's not going to be all that exciting. I guess it's what you call bad 31 00:01:45,800 --> 00:01:47,460 timing, quite frankly. 32 00:01:48,360 --> 00:01:52,860 Oh, except Nancy's coming over to do some ironing, so... 33 00:01:53,620 --> 00:01:55,220 Maybe it won't be as dull as I thought. 34 00:01:55,760 --> 00:01:59,980 On this show, ironing is like a car chase. 35 00:02:01,800 --> 00:02:03,100 That's how exciting it is. 36 00:02:04,620 --> 00:02:05,680 Hi, Gary. Oh, Rob. 37 00:02:06,420 --> 00:02:08,280 Hey, everybody. It's Rob Reiner. 38 00:02:09,840 --> 00:02:10,919 Nice to see you, Rob. 39 00:02:14,180 --> 00:02:15,180 Come on in. 40 00:02:17,280 --> 00:02:20,440 It's great to see you. What are you doing here? Well, you know, I love the 41 00:02:21,370 --> 00:02:25,230 You always said if I was ever in the neighborhood to stop in, so here I am. 42 00:02:25,950 --> 00:02:27,770 Well, great. It's great to see you. Yeah. 43 00:02:33,250 --> 00:02:35,290 There's really nothing going on today. 44 00:02:35,770 --> 00:02:40,050 Well, I thought maybe, you know, you could have me do a bit, you know, 45 00:02:40,070 --> 00:02:43,050 something, a little character or something on the show, a little bit or 46 00:02:43,050 --> 00:02:44,430 something. You want a job? 47 00:02:44,970 --> 00:02:46,710 You want a job? Yeah, yeah. 48 00:02:47,190 --> 00:02:49,510 It's been rough, Gary. It's been really rough. 49 00:02:50,560 --> 00:02:53,760 Ever since all in the family went off, you know, I've been typecast. That 50 00:02:53,760 --> 00:02:56,020 meathead thing is following me around like a bad dream. 51 00:02:57,120 --> 00:02:58,120 Like a nightmare. 52 00:02:58,200 --> 00:03:01,060 No, I know what you mean. I'm typecast as Gary Shanley. Oh. 53 00:03:01,800 --> 00:03:03,460 Oh, that's worse. That's much worse. 54 00:03:04,680 --> 00:03:07,680 I think you might be digging yourself a hole you may never be able to get out 55 00:03:07,680 --> 00:03:08,680 of. 56 00:03:09,400 --> 00:03:13,240 Yeah, well, Rob, I don't know what to say. I mean, there's nothing really that 57 00:03:13,240 --> 00:03:16,590 could... Wait a minute. How about a Mr. 58 00:03:17,310 --> 00:03:22,130 Fix -It kind of thing? You know, like Pat Harrington used to do on One Day at 59 00:03:22,130 --> 00:03:26,150 Time. Remember that Schneider character who used to come in? He had the belt 60 00:03:26,150 --> 00:03:29,990 with all the tools. He never fixed anything. He just made sexual overtures 61 00:03:29,990 --> 00:03:30,990 Bonnie Franklin. 62 00:03:32,210 --> 00:03:34,990 Not that I want to make sexual overtures to you. I just, you know, no. 63 00:03:35,470 --> 00:03:38,450 I think it's a character, or maybe you could work it in. Yeah, well, you know 64 00:03:38,450 --> 00:03:41,330 what? I think Pat Harrington's available. If we wanted to go that way, 65 00:03:41,330 --> 00:03:44,350 probably get him. Oh, yeah, well... I don't think we need to go... Yeah, but I 66 00:03:44,350 --> 00:03:47,890 think he'd only scratch the surface of the character. I think I can add another 67 00:03:47,890 --> 00:03:49,290 level, go deeper. 68 00:03:49,890 --> 00:03:52,930 There's nuances in Schneider that I think haven't been brought out. 69 00:03:53,310 --> 00:03:54,790 Was he Jewish? 70 00:03:55,210 --> 00:03:56,210 I don't know. 71 00:03:56,790 --> 00:03:59,470 Schneider, Jewish. I don't know. I never really saw the build. You want to, 72 00:03:59,570 --> 00:04:00,570 um... 73 00:04:01,450 --> 00:04:05,010 You can help clean up if you want. Clean up? I've got to do dishes. 74 00:04:05,270 --> 00:04:07,610 Dishes? Fine. You don't want to do that. No, no, anything. 75 00:04:07,830 --> 00:04:11,790 Listen, beggars can't be choosers. I'll do anything. All the big directors want 76 00:04:11,790 --> 00:04:13,890 to come over and do a part of my show. Great, great. 77 00:04:14,370 --> 00:04:15,790 Do you have any rubber gloves? 78 00:04:16,130 --> 00:04:16,669 Oh, yeah. 79 00:04:16,670 --> 00:04:19,350 My doctor just sent me a new case. They're right under the sink. 80 00:04:20,470 --> 00:04:21,769 Right next to the thermometers. 81 00:04:22,070 --> 00:04:23,070 Okay. 82 00:04:23,390 --> 00:04:24,390 Well, 83 00:04:24,610 --> 00:04:29,270 this is great. We'll come right back after these important opening credits. 84 00:04:34,060 --> 00:04:35,600 This is the theme to Gary's show. 85 00:04:35,840 --> 00:04:40,880 The theme to Gary's show. Gary called me up and asked if I would write a theme 86 00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:45,980 song. I'm almost halfway finished. How do you like it so far? How do you like 87 00:04:45,980 --> 00:04:47,420 the theme to Gary's show? 88 00:04:48,680 --> 00:04:53,200 This is the theme to Gary's show. The opening theme to Gary's show. This is 89 00:04:53,200 --> 00:04:56,180 music that you hear as you watch the credits. 90 00:04:56,540 --> 00:05:01,520 We're almost to the part of where I start to whistle. Then we'll watch the 91 00:05:01,520 --> 00:05:02,520 Sandling show. 92 00:05:07,560 --> 00:05:09,940 This was the theme that Gary Sandling showed. 93 00:05:18,540 --> 00:05:19,540 Look at this. 94 00:05:20,900 --> 00:05:24,540 Rob, you're doing a great job. Get a tight shot of this. Can you see this? 95 00:05:24,540 --> 00:05:25,139 at that. 96 00:05:25,140 --> 00:05:26,200 Is that a great job? 97 00:05:27,780 --> 00:05:33,540 I forgot. I forgot how much fun acting is. I'm getting that bug again. Where's 98 00:05:33,540 --> 00:05:34,540 another plate? 99 00:05:36,080 --> 00:05:39,860 Listen, Rob, why don't you just keep doing that? I got to go do my laundry 100 00:05:39,860 --> 00:05:43,060 I'll come right back. Okay, all right. I'll be here doing the dishes, acting up 101 00:05:43,060 --> 00:05:44,080 a storm if you need me. 102 00:05:45,080 --> 00:05:48,260 Great. Why don't you stretch a little and maybe clean the oven? 103 00:05:48,520 --> 00:05:49,520 Good idea. 104 00:05:49,980 --> 00:05:50,980 Good idea. 105 00:05:51,060 --> 00:05:53,080 Strasburg said the key to acting is scouring. 106 00:05:53,500 --> 00:05:54,500 Okay. 107 00:06:05,770 --> 00:06:08,230 Don't you wish you got applause when you walked into a laundry room? 108 00:06:09,950 --> 00:06:14,230 Well, I sorted out all my stuff into colors and whites, which is not easy 109 00:06:14,230 --> 00:06:16,370 because a lot of these stains can go either way. 110 00:06:17,630 --> 00:06:24,210 And I have some laundry room tips for you. First of all, use Mexican coins. 111 00:06:25,490 --> 00:06:28,990 Save you a lot of money. They're much cheaper, same size, and it helps the 112 00:06:28,990 --> 00:06:29,990 economy of Mexico. 113 00:06:32,430 --> 00:06:33,430 Okay, now. 114 00:06:34,030 --> 00:06:36,350 Oh, gee, somebody's clothes are already in here. 115 00:06:37,350 --> 00:06:38,770 Well, hello there. 116 00:06:41,610 --> 00:06:43,690 Well, I haven't seen through you before. 117 00:06:45,390 --> 00:06:46,770 You live in the complex? 118 00:06:47,050 --> 00:06:48,050 I don't think so. 119 00:06:48,350 --> 00:06:49,930 I haven't seen you around. 120 00:06:50,190 --> 00:06:52,250 Come to this, I'm hitting on women's clothing. 121 00:06:54,550 --> 00:06:56,030 Have you seen Radio Days? 122 00:06:57,270 --> 00:06:58,750 Maybe we could go sometime. 123 00:06:59,590 --> 00:07:01,330 That blouse doesn't talk. 124 00:07:03,980 --> 00:07:05,440 But this one speaks for itself. 125 00:07:19,900 --> 00:07:26,140 The name will be... 126 00:07:35,820 --> 00:07:37,360 That's a cool name. 127 00:07:39,440 --> 00:07:41,020 Yeah, I'm lucky to have it. 128 00:07:42,700 --> 00:07:45,120 On such a hot, hot night. 129 00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:48,280 It is hot. 130 00:07:50,760 --> 00:07:51,780 Unbearably hot. 131 00:07:52,900 --> 00:07:59,700 Almost as hot as the fire that burned the very essence of my 132 00:07:59,700 --> 00:08:00,700 womanhood. 133 00:08:02,840 --> 00:08:04,900 I was just going to say that. 134 00:08:09,410 --> 00:08:10,410 Sylvia? 135 00:08:12,290 --> 00:08:13,670 Let's do a load together. 136 00:08:16,950 --> 00:08:18,790 The other machines are full. 137 00:08:20,150 --> 00:08:23,730 So very, very full. 138 00:08:25,490 --> 00:08:27,790 I think it's a good thing I wore my lint trap. 139 00:08:33,549 --> 00:08:37,070 So what's your cycle, Sylvia? Anything but delicate. 140 00:08:39,760 --> 00:08:41,620 I don't care as long as we rinse afterwards. 141 00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:49,320 Sylvia! 142 00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:52,220 Sylvia! Sylvia's voice is changing. 143 00:08:53,720 --> 00:08:55,000 Or I'm in big trouble. 144 00:08:56,980 --> 00:08:57,980 Sylvia! 145 00:08:58,520 --> 00:09:02,700 Oh, boy, this guy sure knows how to suck the steam out of a room, doesn't he? 146 00:09:05,870 --> 00:09:09,090 Nobody messes with my woman. Ex -woman. How'd you find me anyway, huh? 147 00:09:09,310 --> 00:09:12,250 Oh, like I couldn't see the steam or hear the saxophone music? 148 00:09:15,810 --> 00:09:16,810 Well, hey. 149 00:09:17,230 --> 00:09:19,050 Okay, monster lips. 150 00:09:19,290 --> 00:09:20,290 How you doing? 151 00:09:20,710 --> 00:09:22,330 Time to rearrange your face. 152 00:09:22,670 --> 00:09:23,910 Cut it out. 153 00:09:24,210 --> 00:09:26,070 How do you know these are my lips? 154 00:09:27,290 --> 00:09:30,370 Come on, you're always beating up on somebody. Why don't you just take the 155 00:09:30,370 --> 00:09:33,330 off? Yeah, yeah, it's only Tuesday. You got a whole week ahead. You should pace 156 00:09:33,330 --> 00:09:34,330 yourself a little bit. 157 00:09:36,010 --> 00:09:38,850 Okay, laundry boy, this is just a taste. 158 00:09:39,410 --> 00:09:43,170 But if you ever see Sylvia again, I'll kill you. 159 00:09:45,830 --> 00:09:48,930 Oh, there goes half my sex life. 160 00:09:57,510 --> 00:10:00,570 It's not, you know, and I think what the worst thing is, is I didn't even get 161 00:10:00,570 --> 00:10:01,570 all my laundry done. 162 00:10:06,480 --> 00:10:10,120 Well, it depends how you define clean. You know, if you mean soap and water, 163 00:10:10,160 --> 00:10:15,220 it's not that clean, but, you know, I crumpled it all up, and then I 164 00:10:15,220 --> 00:10:17,440 it, and a certain amount of dirt flies off when you do that. 165 00:10:17,740 --> 00:10:22,620 It's how single guys do their wash. You know, it's, look, you go, clean, it's 166 00:10:22,620 --> 00:10:23,620 clean. 167 00:10:27,120 --> 00:10:31,020 And it's not easy to clean your clothes when a guy's threatening to kill you, 168 00:10:31,080 --> 00:10:31,639 you know? 169 00:10:31,640 --> 00:10:35,160 You know, Gary, if this guy weren't threatening you, would you want to see 170 00:10:35,160 --> 00:10:36,160 Sylvia again? 171 00:10:37,060 --> 00:10:39,060 Well, you know, I think so. Well? 172 00:10:39,280 --> 00:10:41,240 I've been thinking about her. Then there's your answer. 173 00:10:43,580 --> 00:10:44,780 Oh, Nancy, did you meet Rob? 174 00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:46,119 Rob, Nancy? 175 00:10:46,120 --> 00:10:47,059 Oh, hi. 176 00:10:47,060 --> 00:10:48,060 How are you? 177 00:11:03,560 --> 00:11:05,920 I was thinking when I gave that psycho my phone number. 178 00:11:08,860 --> 00:11:11,320 Thank God you're okay. 179 00:11:11,600 --> 00:11:14,820 Yeah, the word on the street is that you got the crap kicked out of you in the 180 00:11:14,820 --> 00:11:15,820 laundry room. 181 00:11:16,420 --> 00:11:18,240 Grant, don't say crap on television. 182 00:11:19,540 --> 00:11:20,880 Gary, we were worried sick. 183 00:11:21,200 --> 00:11:22,200 Hey, hi, Rob. 184 00:11:22,380 --> 00:11:23,379 Oh, hey, look. 185 00:11:23,380 --> 00:11:24,380 Meathead's doing dishes. 186 00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:32,180 Boy, I loved you on All in the Family. 187 00:11:33,230 --> 00:11:34,230 What was that line you always said? 188 00:11:34,350 --> 00:11:35,410 Edith, you dingbat. 189 00:11:36,170 --> 00:11:37,910 No, no, no. Archie used to say that. 190 00:11:38,730 --> 00:11:40,510 Oh, well, what was it that you always said? 191 00:11:41,230 --> 00:11:44,170 Well, I don't know. Sometimes I said, come on, Gloria, let's go. 192 00:11:45,970 --> 00:11:49,610 Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's it. I love that line. That's terrific. 193 00:11:50,310 --> 00:11:51,310 Excuse me, Robbie. 194 00:11:51,850 --> 00:11:52,850 Gary. 195 00:11:53,900 --> 00:11:57,080 nothing to worry about, because if that bully comes, he's going to have to get 196 00:11:57,080 --> 00:12:01,000 through me, my son Grant, and my friend Rob Reiner. Right, boys? 197 00:12:01,320 --> 00:12:02,980 Uh, I'm just here to do the dishes. 198 00:12:03,700 --> 00:12:05,840 Maybe I'll clean up after the fight. 199 00:12:06,640 --> 00:12:08,500 Look, there's not going to be any fight. 200 00:12:08,980 --> 00:12:09,980 No fight? 201 00:12:10,920 --> 00:12:13,220 Jericho Gary, you're not a chicken, are you? 202 00:12:13,540 --> 00:12:14,920 Of course he isn't, son. 203 00:12:17,820 --> 00:12:21,500 Grant, you have to understand, just because someone doesn't fight doesn't 204 00:12:21,500 --> 00:12:23,240 necessarily mean they're a chicken. 205 00:12:23,710 --> 00:12:27,010 You know, some of the most courageous men in history didn't believe in 206 00:12:27,150 --> 00:12:28,610 That's right, like Don Knotts. 207 00:12:31,350 --> 00:12:33,350 I was thinking more along the lines of Gandhi. 208 00:12:34,750 --> 00:12:37,850 Look how Don Knotts and Gandhi got lumped together. 209 00:12:39,390 --> 00:12:40,790 What are the odds of that? 210 00:12:41,790 --> 00:12:43,610 Other than that height -weight chart. 211 00:12:47,390 --> 00:12:48,390 You know... 212 00:12:51,850 --> 00:12:56,290 I really got to go somewhere where I can just think this stuff through, all 213 00:12:56,290 --> 00:12:57,290 right? Sure. 214 00:12:58,290 --> 00:12:59,490 You like the Gandhi thing? 215 00:13:00,450 --> 00:13:02,310 Pretty funny? Not really. You didn't like it? No. 216 00:13:03,610 --> 00:13:05,970 Yeah, well, that's why I'm in the next scene and you're not. 217 00:13:09,670 --> 00:13:14,850 Well, this is the room I grew up in, in my mom's house, and it's exactly the 218 00:13:14,850 --> 00:13:17,530 same, except my mom's roped it off. 219 00:13:18,250 --> 00:13:21,090 Can you believe that? It's like her own little Graceland. 220 00:13:22,490 --> 00:13:26,130 Oh, look, it's his globe. No wonder he did so well in world geography. 221 00:13:29,250 --> 00:13:30,750 They're on their way to the gift shop. 222 00:13:32,850 --> 00:13:35,190 My mom's fixed it so it's the only exit. 223 00:13:37,550 --> 00:13:42,170 Anyway, this is where I come to really sort things out when I need to, and I'm 224 00:13:42,170 --> 00:13:45,570 really confused about what to do with this bully. You know, I could fight him. 225 00:13:45,980 --> 00:13:49,800 Seriously. But I just don't like fighting. And it's not because I'm 226 00:13:50,380 --> 00:13:55,120 It's just this thing I have. And, you know, I'm in good shape for a guy with 227 00:13:55,120 --> 00:14:01,840 body. And, oh, this is my very first flashback 228 00:14:01,840 --> 00:14:02,840 booth. 229 00:14:04,420 --> 00:14:06,400 Remember your first flashback booth? 230 00:14:07,520 --> 00:14:08,520 Sure you do. 231 00:14:10,080 --> 00:14:12,240 So, I wonder if it still works. 232 00:14:13,840 --> 00:14:18,280 I used to put this on when I was like two years old and go back to a time when 233 00:14:18,280 --> 00:14:19,280 was still breastfeeding. 234 00:14:21,860 --> 00:14:23,080 Let's see if it works. 235 00:14:25,980 --> 00:14:26,980 Alakazam. 236 00:14:28,620 --> 00:14:29,620 Alakazite. 237 00:14:30,240 --> 00:14:33,760 Show us the reason I don't like to fight. 238 00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:40,200 Hi, everybody. 239 00:14:40,460 --> 00:14:41,680 Welcome to my room. 240 00:14:43,950 --> 00:14:45,890 That's the voice I'm going to use when I grow up. 241 00:14:46,330 --> 00:14:47,930 Easy on the ear, don't you think? 242 00:14:52,310 --> 00:14:54,770 Shanley, fork over lunch money. 243 00:14:55,890 --> 00:14:56,890 Lunch money? 244 00:14:57,350 --> 00:14:59,530 You came into my home for lunch money? 245 00:15:01,030 --> 00:15:03,490 One of the last few bullies to make house calls. 246 00:15:04,870 --> 00:15:08,150 Hey, squirt, you asked for it. Hey, cut it out. 247 00:15:16,490 --> 00:15:17,770 Is that you and what army? 248 00:15:18,810 --> 00:15:21,070 Oh, you poked my eye out. 249 00:15:21,570 --> 00:15:24,150 You poked his eye out? 250 00:15:25,190 --> 00:15:28,870 I thought that was just a figure of speech that moms use to discourage 251 00:15:28,870 --> 00:15:29,870 horseplay. 252 00:15:30,470 --> 00:15:33,490 I don't want to hurt people. 253 00:15:34,250 --> 00:15:35,590 Hurting people is bad. 254 00:15:35,810 --> 00:15:42,590 So to make up for this, I vow that for this day on, I'll become a 255 00:15:42,590 --> 00:15:45,150 comedian and be nothing but laughter. 256 00:15:48,840 --> 00:15:53,560 to this entire free world. And I promise to lead a life of non -violence. 257 00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:57,080 So an accident such as this will never... 258 00:16:22,540 --> 00:16:26,120 know what to do with that bully. You know, I just got to get a really big 259 00:16:26,120 --> 00:16:27,120 band. 260 00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:30,160 Maybe like a fan belt or something. 261 00:16:30,880 --> 00:16:34,700 Just pull it back and snap it in this guy's face. Oh, Bubba. 262 00:16:35,520 --> 00:16:39,180 That flashback book still looks nice on you. 263 00:16:40,180 --> 00:16:43,080 How far back did you go? I went back to 1960. 264 00:16:47,100 --> 00:16:48,100 That's right. 265 00:16:48,180 --> 00:16:49,180 Oh, thanks. 266 00:16:50,320 --> 00:16:54,440 Well, I know that was a real rough year for you. Very draining this time to go 267 00:16:54,440 --> 00:16:58,900 in there. So, why don't you lie down in your old bed? Huh? Come on. Oh, Mom, 268 00:16:59,040 --> 00:17:00,040 it's still light out. 269 00:17:00,060 --> 00:17:01,140 Come on, let's play our little game. 270 00:17:01,380 --> 00:17:02,380 Alley -oop. 271 00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:03,599 You're kidding. 272 00:17:03,600 --> 00:17:04,358 Come on. 273 00:17:04,359 --> 00:17:06,040 Mom, that was a long time ago. 274 00:17:06,280 --> 00:17:07,280 Oh, please, your mother. 275 00:17:08,500 --> 00:17:10,800 Alley -oop. Oh, there we go. 276 00:17:11,599 --> 00:17:12,640 There we go. 277 00:17:13,579 --> 00:17:14,720 Now, lie down. 278 00:17:15,040 --> 00:17:21,380 Mom. Lie down and shut your eyes. then I'm going to sing you a 279 00:17:21,380 --> 00:17:28,240 lullaby. Because you've had a busy day. Now it's time 280 00:17:28,240 --> 00:17:29,360 for you to rest. 281 00:17:29,960 --> 00:17:36,480 You're almost 38 years old, but your mom thinks you're the best. 282 00:17:37,680 --> 00:17:41,100 Tomorrow's a brand new day where you can hop and skip and play. 283 00:17:42,320 --> 00:17:46,700 So good night, little one. Sleep tight, little one. 284 00:18:02,379 --> 00:18:05,940 Well, I slept last night at my mom's house, and I thought about it all day. 285 00:18:06,440 --> 00:18:12,100 And I decided to call Sylvia and invite her over for a candlelit dinner because, 286 00:18:12,220 --> 00:18:16,540 you know, thanks to Rob, and he's been doing this for 24 hours now, you gotta 287 00:18:16,540 --> 00:18:17,540 remember. 288 00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:21,120 Thanks to Rob, my place is finally presentable to have guests, you know? 289 00:18:21,620 --> 00:18:24,100 Thanks, Rob. Oh, my pleasure, my pleasure. 290 00:18:24,980 --> 00:18:26,720 Why don't you take a break? 291 00:18:26,940 --> 00:18:29,840 No, no, I'd love to, but I hear a toilet that's crying out for help. 292 00:18:31,980 --> 00:18:35,580 Rob, you really... Rob, Rob, you don't have to clean the toilet. I don't mind. 293 00:18:35,580 --> 00:18:39,020 really... I don't mind, Gary. Rob, don't. I don't mind. It's okay. Okay, 294 00:18:39,020 --> 00:18:40,260 get under the rim, will you? Okay. 295 00:18:45,360 --> 00:18:47,000 Oh, I wonder if that's Sylvia. 296 00:18:48,720 --> 00:18:50,240 I hope I made the right decision. 297 00:18:56,020 --> 00:18:57,440 It's Sylvia, all right. 298 00:18:59,140 --> 00:19:00,820 Either that or Sherlock Holmes. 299 00:19:08,750 --> 00:19:14,370 the right decision huh looks like there's going to be a break in the heat 300 00:19:14,370 --> 00:19:21,290 maybe even in your dry spell tell me about it 301 00:19:35,340 --> 00:19:38,020 Hey, psycho, why don't you get it through your head that she's not your 302 00:19:38,020 --> 00:19:39,800 girlfriend anymore, huh? You're talking. 303 00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:42,700 Don't do this. You can't talk. You're going to be sorry, man. 304 00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:44,240 Dead man don't talk, huh? 305 00:19:46,520 --> 00:19:48,980 My bow, my bow, my bow, my bow. 306 00:19:50,560 --> 00:19:54,100 Did you hear about the guy who goes to a psychiatrist and the psychiatrist says 307 00:19:54,100 --> 00:19:57,540 you're crazy? And the guy says, I want a second opinion. He says, okay, you're 308 00:19:57,540 --> 00:19:58,540 ugly too. 309 00:20:03,760 --> 00:20:07,300 No, this is a good one. Listen, and he says, the doctor says, I have good news 310 00:20:07,300 --> 00:20:10,520 and bad news. The bad news is, you've only got six weeks to live. The good 311 00:20:10,520 --> 00:20:12,880 is, I made love to my nurse this morning. 312 00:20:14,580 --> 00:20:18,340 Okay, one more. This is mine. This is my own. I made love to this woman, and I 313 00:20:18,340 --> 00:20:20,500 said, was it good for you? She said, it wasn't good for anybody. 314 00:20:35,470 --> 00:20:36,850 guess we've learned a lesson tonight, huh? 315 00:20:38,450 --> 00:20:41,250 If your jokes are good enough, you don't need to resort to violence. 316 00:20:42,690 --> 00:20:45,250 A lot of comics gotta carry like knives and stuff. 317 00:20:46,010 --> 00:20:47,010 Not me. 318 00:20:48,090 --> 00:20:50,730 Well, we can be alone now, Sylvia. 319 00:20:53,150 --> 00:20:56,530 Oh, my God, that sounds just like Johnny. 320 00:20:56,790 --> 00:20:57,970 He must have busted out. 321 00:20:58,470 --> 00:20:59,470 Oh, no. 322 00:21:07,409 --> 00:21:09,370 Yeah. You think I should call her? 323 00:21:10,210 --> 00:21:11,210 What? 324 00:21:13,290 --> 00:21:14,290 Okay, 325 00:21:15,370 --> 00:21:17,690 because I was right on the line, to be frank with you. 326 00:21:18,490 --> 00:21:21,070 I'll take your advice, thanks, and just let her go. 327 00:21:21,930 --> 00:21:25,810 Well, Gar, I guess it's time to wrap up my involvement in the show. 328 00:21:29,170 --> 00:21:32,950 Rob, it was... I loved having you. Yeah, I hope you don't mind me knocking that 329 00:21:32,950 --> 00:21:34,330 guy out. I know I was... 330 00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:38,100 only supposed to clean up and stuff, but I saw him strangling you, and I just 331 00:21:38,100 --> 00:21:41,040 seized the moment. You did the right thing. I hope you don't think I was 332 00:21:41,040 --> 00:21:42,040 my part or anything. 333 00:21:42,740 --> 00:21:45,560 I saw it. I took the moment. I just took it. I took it. 334 00:21:46,180 --> 00:21:49,860 You had to go with your instinct there. I had to go. That's an actor's guts, you 335 00:21:49,860 --> 00:21:51,520 know? You had to go with it. It was great. 336 00:21:51,720 --> 00:21:52,720 Yeah, it felt right. 337 00:21:53,230 --> 00:21:54,610 I want you to know you can come anytime. 338 00:21:55,030 --> 00:21:56,790 Really? Yeah, you can come back to the show anytime. 339 00:21:57,110 --> 00:21:59,570 Oh, that's great. You can shoot somebody, you can hit them, whatever you 340 00:21:59,570 --> 00:22:03,150 do. That's great. Really, because you could be my bodyguard. Hey, there's an 341 00:22:03,150 --> 00:22:05,010 idea. You want to do that? I'd love to. 342 00:22:05,210 --> 00:22:06,330 So we're friends? Friends. 343 00:22:07,510 --> 00:22:08,510 Good night, everybody. 344 00:22:09,030 --> 00:22:10,030 See you soon. 26559

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