All language subtitles for Instant Mom s03e22 Bug Out

Word of warning, Dad's grumpy.

My alarm didn't go off, the newspaper
landed in something, and I'm pretty sure

my new cholesterol meds are making me
shorter.

I just want to have a quiet breakfast.

There you go, nice and quiet.

James let loose a water bug in the
kitchen.

Yeah, after...

I served it for breakfast.

I served still -cut organic oatmeal with
brown sugar and raisin. The one with

the legs wasn't a raisin.

I'll go get the bug spray. No, no, no,
no, no. No. We're trying to keep it

alive. It came from Aaron's bug
collection.

I'll get the phone. You get the bug.

Uh, hey.

You know, Dad, you are rocking those
PJs. You look comfortable, yet

sophisticated.

I told you, you're not throwing a house
party here with Molly.

You guys want to have a party? That must
be what my Molly was talking about last

night. It's so hard to read lips through
all those branches.

Jane, you can stalk her till the cows
come home, but you'd have a better

dating one of the cows.

High school parties might start small,
but then they fester. Soon it's a mob of

kids, a trashed house, and some guy
driving through your living room on a

motorcycle. Oh, Dad, the parties when
you were in high school sounded awesome.

They sounded so awesome, I almost felt
bad about calling the police on them.

Good Morning Philadelphia.

They're doing a family week, so I sent
in a video of Aaron and me dancing, and

they want us to do a routine on TV.

That's great.

We're pre -taping Friday night. Oh,
that's so cool, Steph.

But could you do me a solid and use your
maiden name in case my friends watch?

The bug's on my leg!

Ah, my bad. That was racist.

Aaron loved his bug.

What are we looking at?

A water bug. Oh!

this routine let's go again steph i'm
exhausted my jack hands won't close

sweetie you can close them this weekend
after we've been on tv i've been telling

everybody i even told that crazy lady
who hangs around the pharmacy and she

all the people in her head hi hi hi all
right good rehearsal go get a popsicle

make it half a popsicle you're a dancer
now you have to eat like one

Antique cameo on a gold chain. Give it
to me. When people come over, they

usually bring things.

You borrowed that necklace over a month
ago.

I gave it back.

You have had your eyes on my cameo since
you were a child.

Many a night I woke up with your tiny
little hands clawing at my throat.

Oh, were you wearing a necklace?

lost every pair I've gotten you. You've
probably lost a few patients, but you

keep getting no one.

James, Dad is one of the top
cardiologists in Philadelphia and too

broad -shouldered for your transparent
ploys.

Thank you, Gabby. But you're not having
a party in our house.

Oh, that was quick, buddy. You finished
that popsicle already? I didn't have

one. I'm done with popsicles.

Since when?

You live for popsicles.

I said I didn't want one, Steph.

Let it go.

Did Aaron just snap at me?

About a popsicle?

Something's up with him. I mean, that
bug thing yesterday, that was really

weird. This morning, he threw a hissy
fit just because I took his debt.

Why'd you take his debt?

Hello, you don't make the payments, you
don't keep the furniture.

There's your answer.

is upset because all of his camming and
tealing and no parents around to teach

them better. Maybe Aaron is upset
because somebody who doesn't live here

barging in uninvited.

Oh, please. I am the only stable thing
in his topsy -turvy little life.

Stable? You're annoying.

And you're creating confusion.

And you're annoying.

Charlie? What's annoying is being told
no all the time, Dad.

You've crushed Aaron's spirit.

You're crushing all our spirits in this
prison of negativity.

I am not negative. That's dumb.

Guys, guys, can we please... Gabby's the
problem. You're always asking for

stuff. Gimme, gimme, gimme. You are a
terrible example for Aaron. I am a good

example, but I could be an even better
one in some fine Italian sunglasses.

You can't stop scamming for one second.

I can stop any time I want for the right
price.

Enough. All of this tension and
dysfunction is what messes Aaron up. I

Stephanie. Yeah, you're the one who's
pushing him into that dance thing. You

push everybody.

Charlie's right.

You come over here too much.

You heard her.

Give me a reason, Charlie. Give me a
reason.

Everything we're doing, this is the
problem.

You'd be screwed up, too, if you had to
live with all of us.

James, you need to stop scamming.

Gabby, you need to stop asking for
stuff. Mom, you need to stop coming over

uninvited. I need to stop pushing. And
Charlie, you need to stop saying no. No!

Don't care. We're doing it.

We're all going to change our behavior
for a week to see if it helps Aaron.

Well, he's definitely not himself, and I
guess it can't hurt. So let's try it.

Good.

Starting now, I'll stop being pushy.
Everybody, hands in.

Still pushy.

Oh, I'm sorry. Everybody, hands in or
else.

That's not pushing. That's threatening.

This ain't going to work.

You're not supposed to be here without
calling first.

I called James.

He said, come over.

Sorry. Helping you pull a scam is also
against the rules.

And doing it for one dollar would just
make me feel cheap.

Your wife is hiding my necklace
somewhere in this house, and I want it

You know the rules.

This is for Aaron.

Go on.

necklace back soon.

These earrings are coming off.

Well, there's no need to get violent.

I'm not. They just match the necklace.

Wow, Dad.

It's cool how you're really sticking to
the new rules.

That's what we agreed to, and I'm a man
of my word.

Oh, and since that word can no longer be
no, I'm gonna ask you again if I can

have a party. I don't have to say no,
because you're not allowed to ask.

But Stephanie!

Those are the rules.

Really? You're sad and

To ask for stuff.

May I please have those sunglasses?

Remember, you can't say no.

Then let me say yes to yesterday's no.

That answer has a certain no -like
quality. And yet it is a yes. Then let's

get my sunglasses.

Sorry, yes means no. But you can't say
no. That's why I said yes.

Charlie, no loopholes.

James is not scamming, he's asking.

And surprisingly politely. I think we
should reward that by giving him the

sunglasses.

They're so expensive.

Fine.

When do you want to go and get them?

James? Hang on, Dad.

I can't hang you over the choir in my
head.

Hey, Erin. There you are. Ready to
rehearse for our TV debut?

I changed my mind. I'm not doing that
anymore.

What? Why?

But I told everyone about it.

Sorry.

I can't believe it.

Call the show and cancel?

This was my one shot to be on TV.

Sorry, honey.

You'll have other chances.

This will not stand.

That boy will dance.

Dad, does it sound like Stephanie's
thinking about being a little pussy?

Well, I can't say no.

There you are, sweetie.

Can I get you some ice cream?

Maybe a foot massage?

I'm not going to say it's okay for you
to push Aaron into dancing.

What if tonight I do that thing you
like?

Not cook dinner? That's the one.

Hello?

Yeah, I'm sorry. Our family is just
about to start dinner. Please stop

here.

That was your mom.

She says she's not leaving the driveway
until you bring out her necklace.

Hey, Steph, is it too late to still
dance on TV?

I changed my mind again.

That's great, sweetie.

What about playing some dance moves?

Don't you just want to do the routine
that we had already rehearsed? Because I

know I do. Pushing.

With whatever wonderful adjustments
you'd like to make.

Thanks, Steph.

Can I have a popsicle? Take the whole
box. Okay.

Yes!

Stephanie, mine father.

Don't worry, I'm not even going to ask
you about my party. I'm just going to

tell you that I'm having one Friday
night.

You're still not allowed to say no.

But Stephanie is.

Go ahead, sweetie.

Girl, have your party. I never had a
problem with it.

Don't you think we should talk about
this?

Not this week.

You need to invite that boy you like.

The one with the biceps?

Brad Krieger. He's the whole reason I'm
having the party.

Thanks, Steph. I'm going to go call
Molly.

And she can have her friends over
without us here because you're coming to

us dance that night. I know you think
this is working, but I don't see how

working for me.

Charlie, we all take hits, but it's for
Erin.

I'm so excited to eat. We need to
rehearse. I have a whole new dance, and

starts with a little move I call
handsome baby.

Come on, Steph, you do it.

Now I see how it works for me.

Mama's coming to get her necklace.

Maybe that nice vase in the upstairs
hallway, too.

Karen, I'm trying.

Are you sure you want to do this new
routine on television?

You said I can plan the dance.

Hey, it's not that hard.

I'll show you that last move one more
time.

Remember, it's called ice cream
headache.

Whee!

I am the wind!

Thanks, guys. Just set it over there.

Charlie, what is this? A 5x7 megabase
surround sound entertainment system.

insane.

Here, maybe you could tell us what you
think of the dance Aaron has us doing

tonight. For television.

That people watch.

It's showtime, Steph!

that one little word to stop Gabby's
party.

That routine belongs on television.

Are you sure you don't want to help me
out here, honey?

These dance moves are cramping up my
legs.

I might need to stretch out tonight, and
I'd hate for you to have to sleep on

the couch.

Worth it.

Okay, we're off to take the segment.

Enjoy your party, guys.

I'm in the next room.

Ignore him. He thinks there's going to
be a mob of kids and motorcycles

the house.

It'll be fine.

Just make sure when we get home, we
still have a home.

went to the mall to get the outfits I
had planned when Aaron spotted these in

the couture are you kidding section.

Meet you out front.

I can't leave the house like this. Yeah,
yeah, we all got problems. Get in the

car.

Forget you, Charlie.

I'll just take a picture, send it to my
mom, and she can tell Aaron these

costumes look crazy.

That was weird.

Did she leave her phone here?

for my necklace. Now give it to me. For
the last time, I gave you that necklace.

You need to go home and search there.

I guarantee you'll find it and realize
how ridiculous you look. And yes, I see

the irony.

Obviously, what you haven't seen is a
mirror.

be spoiled i like to get stuff through
trickery and schemes that start the

letter of the law you know work for it
well stop it's gonna attract more

kids dad's gonna freak as it is and brad
didn't even come oh he still might some

kids throwing matches at each other said
he was riding over on his bike his bike

that's kind of dorky hey everybody
brad's here

Guy's a little old to be here.

Man, put up one flyer and all the
weirdos show up.

Okay, everybody out. Now!

Is this your house? Oh, it's the popo.
Run!

Officers, before you say anything you
need to know, this is not what I usually

wear.

We are so sorry. If you tell us who
called in the noise complaint, I will

personally apologize.

We're not here on a noise complaint.

But... Then again, two birds.

I never reported seeing a woman breaking
in through an upstairs window.

That would be me.

Don't tell Maggie Turner I don't know
what's going on.

I knew you had my necklace.

You know this woman? No. Take her away.

She's my mother. If you want, we can
still lock her up for 48 hours.

Not worth it. She'd just come back
madder and with new skills.

Hey, sister here.

Can I run the siren?

Sure, kid.

Just don't talk to the guy in the back
seat.

So how'd the TV show go?

Well, until I walked into this house, I
was pretty sure it was the worst thing

I'd ever seen.

I can't even be mad at that.

Gabby, what?

Just what?

People call people...

I'm sorry.

You know, this is all your fault.

You wouldn't let me say no to this
stupid party. I was trying to make us

better. Does this look better to you? I
don't want us to be better. I want us to

be ourselves.

Ourselves is not good for Aaron.

What's not good for me?

Buddy, something's going on with you. We
want to know what it is.

There's nothing going on with me.

You're the ones acting weird.

Oh, come on, sweetie.

A couple of days ago, you killed a bug
from your collection.

That wasn't from my collection. That was
a water bug.

What am I going to do with the water
bug?

You also turned down a Popsicle. We had
a class party that day and I ate like a

hundred.

Can I go get one now?

Sure.

You realize what this means?

That all we did was use Aaron as an
excuse to complain about each other?

Pretty messed up.

Sure is.

All this... Conflict in the home is
probably why I felt compelled to throw

party. You know, acting out.

Cry for help.

If the kitchen looks anything like this
living room, you'll be crying for more

than help.

Guys, the way we turned on each other is
a real problem.

I think we need to have a long, hard
talk about it.

Or we keep being who we are, and if any
of us have anger and resentment, we push

it back under the rug.

Push it back under the rug?

That works for me.

Speaking of rugs, I might have
accidentally given ours away.