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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,850 --> 00:00:08,150 Welcome to Important Things. I'm Demetri Martin. Tonight's important thing is 2 00:00:08,150 --> 00:00:10,270 money. 3 00:00:11,270 --> 00:00:12,970 Some people are really good with money. 4 00:00:16,870 --> 00:00:19,270 Oops. Some people are born with money. 5 00:00:19,570 --> 00:00:20,570 Excuse me. 6 00:00:21,190 --> 00:00:24,570 Some people will do anything to get money, like crime. 7 00:00:24,870 --> 00:00:26,390 For example, a train robbery. 8 00:00:28,370 --> 00:00:29,370 Yeah. 9 00:00:29,930 --> 00:00:32,170 Yeah. Stop the train. Stop the train. 10 00:00:55,650 --> 00:00:57,090 Thank you, audience. 11 00:00:57,350 --> 00:00:58,350 Thank you. 12 00:00:59,890 --> 00:01:02,230 Tonight's important thing is money. 13 00:01:02,810 --> 00:01:04,470 Ooh, that's a big one. Let's get started. 14 00:01:04,830 --> 00:01:08,350 A lot of options with money. A lot of things are important about money. 15 00:01:08,770 --> 00:01:09,890 How can we cover this? 16 00:01:10,650 --> 00:01:11,670 I could mug someone. 17 00:01:13,210 --> 00:01:15,230 I could mug someone using a mug. 18 00:01:16,550 --> 00:01:19,030 That would be me using the mug to mug them. 19 00:01:19,350 --> 00:01:23,590 It's not mugging a person who's using a mug. I would hit him with a mug. 20 00:01:23,630 --> 00:01:25,130 Probably just, like, throw coffee on him or something. 21 00:01:26,230 --> 00:01:27,230 Or do jokes. 22 00:01:30,130 --> 00:01:31,590 I'm saying mug, but this... 23 00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:32,800 It's too vague. 24 00:01:35,380 --> 00:01:36,380 Jokes. 25 00:01:36,920 --> 00:01:42,240 In my wallet, I have a photo of a stranger picking up my wallet 26 00:01:42,240 --> 00:01:46,300 and me stabbing him in the back. 27 00:01:54,020 --> 00:01:58,960 Sometimes when I catch a cab, I'll be like this, and then as the cab pulls up, 28 00:01:59,820 --> 00:02:01,560 Just at the last second, I switch it. 29 00:02:06,100 --> 00:02:09,320 Then when I get in, I'm like, just so you know, I switched to hitchhiking just 30 00:02:09,320 --> 00:02:12,940 like at the last second, just as you were pulling up. 31 00:02:14,060 --> 00:02:16,440 You were still moving. You did just pick up a hitchhiker. 32 00:02:18,220 --> 00:02:19,720 Yeah, that means free in our country. 33 00:02:22,360 --> 00:02:25,440 I think one place it would be cool to get fired from if you had to get fired 34 00:02:25,440 --> 00:02:26,760 would be the unemployment office. 35 00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:32,980 Because then you just go right back in the next day and be like, you work for 36 00:02:32,980 --> 00:02:33,980 now, bitch. 37 00:02:39,260 --> 00:02:40,560 Find me a job. Hop to. 38 00:02:42,840 --> 00:02:45,180 Sometimes I drive by a store and it just says like big and tall. 39 00:02:46,040 --> 00:02:49,640 I think it would be cool to buy out a couple of those stores and just add one 40 00:02:49,640 --> 00:02:50,579 word to it. 41 00:02:50,580 --> 00:02:52,940 So it's like big and tall and Asian. 42 00:02:57,240 --> 00:02:58,280 People drive by like. 43 00:03:00,140 --> 00:03:01,520 ambitious business plan. 44 00:03:05,020 --> 00:03:08,660 But then for that small segment of the population that you're getting, that guy 45 00:03:08,660 --> 00:03:10,740 drives by, he's like, hold up, we need to go here. 46 00:03:14,500 --> 00:03:18,760 This is the sketch. This is the sketch. 47 00:03:19,420 --> 00:03:21,780 This is the sketch. 48 00:03:23,240 --> 00:03:26,360 Look at that, the whole hand. 49 00:03:26,660 --> 00:03:27,660 Oh, boy. 50 00:03:27,760 --> 00:03:29,060 It was patch two, doctor. 51 00:03:29,500 --> 00:03:32,080 Good. Here's the third finger. Having trouble with the pinky. 52 00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:33,800 Almost done. 53 00:03:34,580 --> 00:03:36,720 Huh? Coming tomorrow to look at the robot. 54 00:03:36,940 --> 00:03:38,460 The whole robot? 55 00:03:38,740 --> 00:03:40,620 Yes. Of course. The whole robot. 56 00:03:40,860 --> 00:03:46,140 Oh, yes. Of course. The whole robot will be ready. Definitely. The whole thing 57 00:03:46,140 --> 00:03:47,660 should be ready first thing tomorrow. 58 00:03:48,060 --> 00:03:49,220 Have yourself a good night. 59 00:03:50,380 --> 00:03:51,379 Oh, boy. 60 00:03:51,380 --> 00:03:53,360 But we don't even have the arm finished yet. 61 00:03:53,720 --> 00:03:55,940 All right. Don't panic. I think we can pull this off. 62 00:03:56,180 --> 00:03:57,320 Do you have contact lenses? 63 00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:04,680 Good morning, gentlemen. What a great day today is for America and science. So 64 00:04:04,680 --> 00:04:09,580 without further ado, please meet Robot 326. 65 00:04:11,140 --> 00:04:12,280 Isn't it magnificent? 66 00:04:14,300 --> 00:04:16,980 Titanium and the latest in steel and metal blends. 67 00:04:17,640 --> 00:04:19,000 Unbreakable. Hmm. 68 00:04:19,540 --> 00:04:21,480 Impressive. But what does it do? 69 00:04:21,740 --> 00:04:25,220 I knew you would ask that. He has very definite... 70 00:04:25,530 --> 00:04:30,550 Cognitive abilities. I place a glass of water and milk on the table. Three, two, 71 00:04:30,590 --> 00:04:33,610 six. Would you like to pick up the glass of water? 72 00:04:36,890 --> 00:04:37,890 The water. 73 00:04:43,270 --> 00:04:44,270 Isn't that amazing? 74 00:04:44,690 --> 00:04:45,690 Well done. 75 00:04:47,210 --> 00:04:48,210 Thank you. 76 00:04:48,430 --> 00:04:51,410 All right, I think we've made a wonderful first step. We'll see you all 77 00:04:51,410 --> 00:04:55,750 here in six months with even more. Thank you, 326. Whoa, whoa, whoa, Dr. 78 00:04:55,970 --> 00:04:56,629 Miller, you finished? 79 00:04:56,630 --> 00:04:59,770 I think we're going to need to see some more from the robot, right, General? If 80 00:04:59,770 --> 00:05:02,690 that's all it does, we can cut the funding for the program right now. 81 00:05:02,950 --> 00:05:05,090 Oh, no, no, I anticipated this. 82 00:05:05,390 --> 00:05:07,470 I saved the best for last. 83 00:05:07,770 --> 00:05:10,230 Let me just make a few small adjustments. 84 00:05:11,330 --> 00:05:12,970 I'll kick it up a notch or two. 85 00:05:13,350 --> 00:05:14,329 I don't want to. 86 00:05:14,330 --> 00:05:17,270 Don't be a jerk. If they cut off the funding, we'll both end up on the 87 00:05:18,990 --> 00:05:20,910 All right, here we go. 88 00:05:21,670 --> 00:05:24,530 The final act. Three, two, six, take it. 89 00:05:34,770 --> 00:05:35,770 You're on. 90 00:05:40,330 --> 00:05:46,810 Early combat moves. 91 00:05:48,090 --> 00:05:51,330 I thought there'd be more, and I'm sure there will be. 92 00:05:55,550 --> 00:05:57,270 That's my cover of 326. 93 00:05:57,530 --> 00:06:00,670 It's a little military humor. He's very patriotic. All right, that's enough, 94 00:06:00,770 --> 00:06:01,770 326. 95 00:06:02,310 --> 00:06:05,710 Thank you. And that's about it. Oh, more, all right. 96 00:06:06,650 --> 00:06:07,650 Be careful. 97 00:06:09,650 --> 00:06:11,050 The international greeting. 98 00:06:11,970 --> 00:06:13,090 Now, a big finish. 99 00:06:17,680 --> 00:06:18,680 Trapped in a box. 100 00:06:20,740 --> 00:06:24,380 I see a world where there'll be no more wars, no more fighting. But we'll always 101 00:06:24,380 --> 00:06:26,020 need the military, of course. Thank you so much. 102 00:06:26,240 --> 00:06:27,240 Back into the box. 103 00:06:27,560 --> 00:06:29,280 I gotta say, I think it was worth 20 million. 104 00:06:29,800 --> 00:06:32,520 One thing, though. Can we change the way the robot looks? 105 00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:34,340 It's very unappealing looking. 106 00:06:34,740 --> 00:06:36,700 It does not look like a super soldier. 107 00:06:36,940 --> 00:06:37,980 I noticed that, too. 108 00:06:38,220 --> 00:06:39,260 I mean, the nose is ridiculous. 109 00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:46,400 Sorry, I just turned up his realism feature, which makes him act so human 110 00:06:46,400 --> 00:06:48,180 he forgets sometimes that he's a robot. 111 00:06:48,900 --> 00:06:52,680 Really? We had no idea robots could be this realistic. 112 00:06:52,920 --> 00:06:53,920 Wait, what? 113 00:06:54,180 --> 00:06:57,220 Are you guys idiots? I'm a person. I'm a human being. That's why I'm realistic 114 00:06:57,220 --> 00:06:58,220 and lifelike. 115 00:06:59,600 --> 00:07:01,440 Thank you. Thank you very much. 116 00:07:01,760 --> 00:07:05,780 You understand what's happening? I'm a human being, and he's an asshole. 117 00:07:06,140 --> 00:07:08,180 This guy lied and made me do this. 118 00:07:08,620 --> 00:07:12,750 Gentlemen. It looks like we've successfully created a robot that can 119 00:07:12,970 --> 00:07:15,410 About creating other robots or whatever. 120 00:07:15,770 --> 00:07:20,170 What? Jennings, your Dr. Miller robot is a success. 121 00:07:20,550 --> 00:07:21,550 What? 122 00:07:22,610 --> 00:07:23,610 Yeah. 123 00:07:24,490 --> 00:07:26,190 Wow. Science. 124 00:07:26,630 --> 00:07:30,490 All right. Let's shut him down and kill this one. 125 00:07:32,770 --> 00:07:33,910 Go get him, gentlemen. 126 00:07:34,930 --> 00:07:35,930 Hey. 127 00:07:36,650 --> 00:07:38,110 So I'm going to make a cake. 128 00:07:38,510 --> 00:07:44,110 in the shape of a coin, put candles in the cake, light them, blow out the 129 00:07:44,110 --> 00:07:47,890 candles, then take the coin cake and throw it into a fountain. 130 00:07:49,170 --> 00:07:53,770 That's a double wish situation from one cake because of the fountain and the 131 00:07:53,770 --> 00:07:56,530 candle blowing out, blowing out of the candles. 132 00:07:59,310 --> 00:08:00,310 Think about it. 133 00:08:01,030 --> 00:08:02,030 All right. 134 00:08:24,460 --> 00:08:25,920 That should be about $4. 135 00:08:35,520 --> 00:08:37,840 This mother rides like a dream. 136 00:08:40,059 --> 00:08:42,080 Good. Smooth as silk. 137 00:08:42,720 --> 00:08:43,720 Very nice. 138 00:08:47,560 --> 00:08:48,820 I've got to get a tune -up. 139 00:08:50,660 --> 00:08:51,660 Tune -up. 140 00:08:58,920 --> 00:09:00,140 Hey, Joe, remember us? 141 00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:05,420 Oh, hey, man, what's going on? Over here is good, right? Okay, okay, okay, easy. 142 00:09:05,660 --> 00:09:07,900 Hey, what's going on? How are you? Where's the money, Jerry? 143 00:09:08,120 --> 00:09:12,280 Uh, the money is coming. Yeah, yeah, it was coming last time, remember? Yeah, 144 00:09:12,280 --> 00:09:14,680 but I... Hey, remember three weeks ago when you said the money was coming? No, 145 00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:18,380 no, no, because I got it, though. My cousin had it, and I talked to him. Now 146 00:09:18,380 --> 00:09:20,220 it's two weeks later, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. 147 00:09:20,620 --> 00:09:22,140 Do him. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Wait, wait, wait. 148 00:09:22,380 --> 00:09:23,820 Oh, wait. 149 00:09:24,260 --> 00:09:27,200 Oh, why are you... Why are you on a bike? 150 00:09:27,460 --> 00:09:29,580 Why are you... There you go. 151 00:09:29,860 --> 00:09:31,560 No, no, no. You're going to get the money, right? 152 00:09:32,380 --> 00:09:35,100 You're going to get the money, right, Gary? Where are you on a bike? 153 00:09:35,480 --> 00:09:36,480 Go, go, go, go. 154 00:09:37,560 --> 00:09:38,560 Oh. 155 00:09:44,440 --> 00:09:46,720 Hey, idiot. What is it? Do you see us back there? 156 00:09:47,080 --> 00:09:49,660 It's a bike lane. You see this? No, calm down. You caught us off. 157 00:09:50,400 --> 00:09:53,540 Bike lane, right? Whatever happened, calm down. Joey, do it. Do the window. 158 00:09:53,540 --> 00:09:54,499 are you doing? Do the window. 159 00:09:54,500 --> 00:09:55,500 What are you doing? 160 00:09:55,780 --> 00:09:56,780 What are you doing? 161 00:09:56,800 --> 00:09:57,579 There you go. 162 00:09:57,580 --> 00:09:59,660 Watch out for cyclists on the road, idiot. 163 00:09:59,920 --> 00:10:01,660 All right. Go home. Go home. 164 00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:05,520 Get in your car and go home. You watch out for cyclists. 165 00:10:09,260 --> 00:10:10,260 Okay. 166 00:10:11,500 --> 00:10:12,860 Let's take a look at some data. 167 00:10:14,700 --> 00:10:19,460 The term somebody uses for money tells you a lot about that person's net worth. 168 00:10:20,630 --> 00:10:23,250 If they use the term moolah, that means they have a little bit of money. 169 00:10:25,690 --> 00:10:27,890 If they use assets, they have a lot of money. It's a rich guy. 170 00:10:29,190 --> 00:10:31,750 If they use dough, they have some money, but they're going to lose it because 171 00:10:31,750 --> 00:10:33,610 they're like, bro, I got a lot of dough. 172 00:10:34,590 --> 00:10:35,590 Idiot. Money's gone. 173 00:10:37,050 --> 00:10:38,990 If they call money napkins, they have a little money. 174 00:10:42,930 --> 00:10:45,230 Do you have any hundreds on the napkins? Yeah, over there. You can wipe your 175 00:10:45,230 --> 00:10:46,230 ass, whatever you want with them. 176 00:10:48,300 --> 00:10:50,820 They call it what's this? They have very, very little money. 177 00:10:52,320 --> 00:10:53,560 Here's a dollar. What's this? 178 00:10:54,640 --> 00:10:55,820 You poor bastard. 179 00:10:57,680 --> 00:10:59,900 Yeah, hey, can I get a pizza delivery, please? 180 00:11:01,980 --> 00:11:03,040 156 Maplewood. 181 00:11:04,400 --> 00:11:06,520 Yeah, I'm around the back in the pool. 182 00:11:08,840 --> 00:11:09,840 Pizza, right? 183 00:11:10,080 --> 00:11:11,500 Yeah. Yeah, over here. 184 00:11:12,020 --> 00:11:13,020 $15. 185 00:11:13,800 --> 00:11:14,800 Okay. 186 00:11:16,180 --> 00:11:17,180 Bring it over. 187 00:11:17,680 --> 00:11:18,680 Do you want it? 188 00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:20,880 No, 189 00:11:21,860 --> 00:11:23,540 man, I ordered delivery, not pickup. 190 00:11:24,580 --> 00:11:25,580 Bring it to me. 191 00:11:35,860 --> 00:11:39,600 Can you just come here? I can't. Well, can you deliver it to me or what? 192 00:11:40,280 --> 00:11:41,800 Are you not pizza delivery? 193 00:11:43,180 --> 00:11:44,180 I'll get you over here. 194 00:12:00,620 --> 00:12:01,740 It's okay. I got it. I got it. 195 00:12:11,420 --> 00:12:12,540 Thank you. 196 00:12:15,500 --> 00:12:16,499 How much? 197 00:12:16,500 --> 00:12:17,500 Fifteen dollars. 198 00:12:18,180 --> 00:12:22,780 I have a coupon for a free pizza. 199 00:12:24,320 --> 00:12:25,320 Thanks very much. 200 00:12:28,780 --> 00:12:29,780 See you later. 201 00:12:30,990 --> 00:12:32,530 Shut the gate on your way out, all right? 202 00:12:33,610 --> 00:12:35,970 So listen, my roommate's coming. 203 00:12:36,210 --> 00:12:37,009 Oh, wow. 204 00:12:37,010 --> 00:12:38,010 Yeah, yeah, cool. 205 00:12:38,210 --> 00:12:39,350 He's from the future. 206 00:12:39,610 --> 00:12:42,390 What? Yeah, he literally, he's from the future. 207 00:12:42,830 --> 00:12:44,110 Just wanted to prepare you guys. 208 00:12:44,490 --> 00:12:46,730 Here he is. Hey, Toby. Oh, my God. 209 00:12:50,390 --> 00:12:51,390 What's this? 210 00:12:51,830 --> 00:12:52,830 The party. 211 00:12:53,970 --> 00:12:55,050 Wow, that's lame. 212 00:12:55,770 --> 00:12:56,830 What were you guys talking about? 213 00:12:57,310 --> 00:12:59,490 I was just telling them that I lost my credit card. 214 00:13:00,870 --> 00:13:01,870 Credit card. 215 00:13:01,890 --> 00:13:06,290 Yeah. You know, something that you pay when you go buy... You guys have credit 216 00:13:06,290 --> 00:13:07,290 cards? 217 00:13:07,410 --> 00:13:08,910 Yeah. Like plastic rectangles? 218 00:13:09,310 --> 00:13:10,310 Yes. Yeah. 219 00:13:12,010 --> 00:13:14,110 What do you have? Oh, my God. 220 00:13:14,470 --> 00:13:15,369 I forgot. 221 00:13:15,370 --> 00:13:18,050 Jesus. I forgot. I learned that in history class. 222 00:13:18,390 --> 00:13:19,590 We've got titanium circles. 223 00:13:19,930 --> 00:13:22,970 You just put it in your fingertip. I just touch stuff and I buy it. If I want 224 00:13:22,970 --> 00:13:24,070 buy it. 225 00:13:24,490 --> 00:13:25,870 How do you buy another person? 226 00:13:26,230 --> 00:13:27,230 No, I just bought a shirt. 227 00:13:27,290 --> 00:13:29,530 Oh, a shirt. Yeah, if you want to buy a person, it's different. You have to go 228 00:13:29,530 --> 00:13:30,509 through the whole, like... 229 00:13:30,510 --> 00:13:34,430 The person registry and, you know, they have to be like a certain age and stuff 230 00:13:34,430 --> 00:13:35,430 like that. 231 00:13:36,030 --> 00:13:37,030 Babies, whatever. 232 00:13:37,870 --> 00:13:39,610 Boring. Do you guys have zip -zops? 233 00:13:40,490 --> 00:13:42,690 Of course you don't. You don't have a zip -zop. Great. 234 00:13:43,390 --> 00:13:44,530 Do you guys have LeveMatch? 235 00:13:45,890 --> 00:13:47,370 No. What about LeveSnacks? 236 00:13:48,430 --> 00:13:50,590 Nope. So your food does not hover? 237 00:13:51,730 --> 00:13:53,590 No. I don't even know how people live. 238 00:13:55,210 --> 00:13:56,210 Dude, I'm out of here. 239 00:13:56,450 --> 00:13:57,450 Fuck. 240 00:14:48,060 --> 00:14:50,900 Saying someone's born with a silver spoon in their mouth is a common 241 00:14:50,900 --> 00:14:51,900 about money. 242 00:14:52,030 --> 00:14:55,310 I'm now going to demonstrate some new expressions about money using scene 243 00:15:07,530 --> 00:15:12,310 So, uh, Frank called me on my birthday, and then he asked me if he could borrow 244 00:15:12,310 --> 00:15:13,310 some money. 245 00:15:13,710 --> 00:15:17,150 Frank, that guy's a real short -sleeved magician. 246 00:15:19,970 --> 00:15:21,050 Short -sleeved magician. 247 00:15:22,320 --> 00:15:23,600 When you can see what's coming. 248 00:15:33,020 --> 00:15:34,360 Dan caught a lucky break. 249 00:15:34,940 --> 00:15:37,380 Cheryl broke up with him. She broke up with him? 250 00:15:37,740 --> 00:15:38,960 Yeah. Wow. 251 00:15:39,240 --> 00:15:40,600 He really sold the pie shack. 252 00:15:43,380 --> 00:15:44,540 Sold the pie shack. 253 00:15:45,240 --> 00:15:47,920 It's when you're in a bad situation, it looks like it's not going to work out, 254 00:15:47,980 --> 00:15:51,380 but then it does. You know, like... You have a pie shack. Who's going to buy a 255 00:15:51,380 --> 00:15:52,380 pie shack? 256 00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:56,360 Then someone comes along and they want to buy a pie shack. You sold it. 257 00:15:57,940 --> 00:15:58,819 Problem solved. 258 00:15:58,820 --> 00:15:59,980 The pie shack is sold. 259 00:16:10,460 --> 00:16:15,360 Your Jerry's trying to start up a frozen yogurt business? 260 00:16:15,980 --> 00:16:16,980 Good luck to him. 261 00:16:17,100 --> 00:16:18,920 If you ask me, he's trying to shave a snake. 262 00:16:20,110 --> 00:16:21,410 Yep, it's a bad investment. 263 00:16:23,350 --> 00:16:24,850 Trying to shave a snake. 264 00:16:26,230 --> 00:16:27,250 Doesn't work out well. 265 00:16:30,910 --> 00:16:32,450 This is a sketch. 266 00:16:32,670 --> 00:16:35,370 This is a sketch. 267 00:16:36,070 --> 00:16:38,330 This is a sketch. 268 00:16:39,790 --> 00:16:40,790 Hey! 269 00:16:47,090 --> 00:16:48,430 Dr. Goldstein! 270 00:16:51,920 --> 00:16:53,020 Dr. Goldstein. 271 00:16:53,700 --> 00:16:55,900 Hello. We're here for our money. 272 00:16:57,100 --> 00:16:59,660 Dr. Larry Goldstein, come on out. 273 00:16:59,920 --> 00:17:01,260 You owe us money. 274 00:17:01,560 --> 00:17:02,660 We know you're in there. 275 00:17:03,060 --> 00:17:04,440 Come on, Goldie. 276 00:17:04,960 --> 00:17:06,640 Don't make us come in and get you. 277 00:17:06,900 --> 00:17:09,300 This mother... Wait, wait, whoa, whoa. Who's going to watch the bikes? 278 00:17:09,520 --> 00:17:10,700 You're going to bring the locks? I'm going to bring the locks. 279 00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:13,520 You're kidding me. How are we going to go in? We're doing hills. 280 00:17:13,720 --> 00:17:14,720 I'm not going to bring a lock. 281 00:17:16,099 --> 00:17:16,999 You're kidding me. 282 00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:19,500 I'll bring the bike. All right, you just bring yours. I'll bring mine. It said 283 00:17:19,500 --> 00:17:20,500 $3 .55. 284 00:17:20,800 --> 00:17:21,839 I thought it was 355. 285 00:17:22,200 --> 00:17:23,200 No. 286 00:17:23,740 --> 00:17:25,380 Wrong house? Yeah, he just yelled at me. 287 00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:29,660 Tommy Directions, everybody. Take it easy, all right? I didn't know what 288 00:17:29,660 --> 00:17:32,740 it was. Tommy D, riding around. All right, all right, you made your point. 289 00:17:33,840 --> 00:17:36,220 Tommy Directions, getting lost on the road again. 290 00:17:36,540 --> 00:17:40,760 Come on, man, come on. Step it up. Hey, hey, hey, hey, don't, don't, do not. Do 291 00:17:40,760 --> 00:17:41,760 not. 292 00:17:41,780 --> 00:17:43,260 Do not. You want to do this? 293 00:17:43,800 --> 00:17:44,860 You want a problem with me? 294 00:17:45,660 --> 00:17:47,760 I got no problem with you. I just, you know. 295 00:17:48,090 --> 00:17:51,990 Problem with me? I'm trying to have some fun. Do you? Come on. Do you? Come on, 296 00:17:52,010 --> 00:17:53,570 man. Do you, Joey? I'm trying to have some fun. 297 00:17:56,130 --> 00:17:57,990 I don't like that kind of fun. Don't touch me. 298 00:17:58,390 --> 00:18:00,070 I don't like that kind of... Don't touch me. 299 00:18:00,710 --> 00:18:01,710 Hey! 300 00:18:02,930 --> 00:18:06,050 Get on your bike and keep riding. Don't tell me what to do! 301 00:18:06,270 --> 00:18:07,270 Get the... 302 00:18:26,540 --> 00:18:27,540 No 303 00:19:16,430 --> 00:19:21,570 If I had a lot of money, I'd give that money to you. 304 00:19:22,870 --> 00:19:28,290 If I had a lot of money, don't you know that's what I'd do? 305 00:19:29,670 --> 00:19:35,170 But I'd probably do some other things with the money too. 306 00:19:36,010 --> 00:19:41,070 I wouldn't want to waste all that money. 307 00:19:42,830 --> 00:19:44,770 I'd get a butler. 308 00:19:45,640 --> 00:19:50,280 Then I'd get another butler to be the butler's butler. And I'd pay the two 309 00:19:50,280 --> 00:19:54,440 butlers to fight. I'd have butler fight night. 310 00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:59,320 And I would charge admission to butler fight night. 311 00:20:00,440 --> 00:20:04,400 And that would make me even more money. 312 00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:09,020 I would have a gold hat. 313 00:20:10,060 --> 00:20:11,640 I'm not talking about a crown. 314 00:20:12,650 --> 00:20:15,230 It would be a gold baseball hat. 315 00:20:15,670 --> 00:20:19,070 Because then people would be like, that guy's really rich, but he's also down to 316 00:20:19,070 --> 00:20:21,110 earth. I can really relate to that guy. 317 00:20:21,870 --> 00:20:22,870 Oh, yeah. 318 00:20:23,590 --> 00:20:26,090 And I would feed poor children. 319 00:20:26,650 --> 00:20:31,130 But right before I gave them the money, I'd say, is it possible that you could 320 00:20:31,130 --> 00:20:32,690 do a dance if you really want the money? 321 00:20:34,610 --> 00:20:40,750 Then I would videotape the dancing and perhaps make it a television show. 322 00:20:42,090 --> 00:20:46,310 That would probably be a hit television show called Poor People Dancing 323 00:20:46,310 --> 00:20:47,670 Desperately. 324 00:20:49,890 --> 00:20:55,730 And that would make me even more money than I could share with you. 325 00:21:01,250 --> 00:21:02,250 Sorry. 326 00:21:06,090 --> 00:21:07,870 Holy... Joey! 327 00:21:08,730 --> 00:21:11,250 Holy... Joey. I'm gonna draft. I'm drafting. 328 00:21:11,450 --> 00:21:12,520 I'm gonna... My pants. 329 00:21:12,800 --> 00:21:14,480 All right, here we go. Come on. Big push. 330 00:21:15,560 --> 00:21:18,620 This is a killer. 331 00:21:20,640 --> 00:21:21,660 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 332 00:21:22,980 --> 00:21:25,760 Are you kidding me? I got a cramp. Get the f*** out of here. 333 00:21:27,980 --> 00:21:32,820 Stretch me out. What do you mean? Pull the leg. 334 00:21:33,100 --> 00:21:34,100 Is that good? 24059