All language subtitles for Finding Joy s01e03 Letting Go

There she is. I think it's going to be
totally fine.

Okay. What a second.

What in the name of balls are you doing?
Are you leaving?

Are you leaving me as well?

Abandonment! I'll try harder. I'll get
me a cat flap or something.

For Jesus' sake, I haven't shit on
anything in weeks.

In. Right.

See how far you get without socks.

Right. You. No. Aiden, let go. You let
go. No.

Aiden, let go. You let go.

Why does she always win?

Thinking. Think logically.

I can't. I'm a dog. Okay.

Emotionally. I know. I'll leave this
here. You might need it. Your actual

This isn't scary.

This isn't terrifying. This is just a
girl in the world looking for happiness

like everyone else.

Except sometimes it ends up on the
internet a little bit.

You wrestled her on the internet?

And she said you kicked her in the... It
was funny.

To be fair, that was an accident.

But then she gave me a dick in the boob.
What's going on, Joy?

What is this new thing that you're
doing?

I can't get a fake question.

She has a name. Her name is Sarah.

Until I ever... She needs to have
everything.

Names and everything.

Why are we whispering?

Because I don't want K -I -N -A to know
you're here because he misses you.

Get me no choice.

Is this just us trying to validate our
lives?

Our choices?

How is everybody else doing it? Should
we care?

How do we do it for ourselves?

What and where is our happy place in
this mad old world?

I know, this must seem scary, but to be
fair to me, there was basically no way

to interrupt you once you'd started all
of that.

Oh, sorry. Um, this is, uh... Connor?
Yeah, this is Connor.

He's a barista!

So tell us about this happy place.

Can I take you to my happy place?

Jesus, Joy, I know you're lonely, but...
No, I'm not lonely.

I just want to take you to my happy
place.

Perfect assignment.

I have to say, the night in this place,
it does Reiki and reflexology and

alternative stuff to help cure your
chakras and help you find peace and all

stuff. I find it all a bit weird, but I
just thought it might help you deal with

the whole eddy thing.

Joy, it's good if you don't want to talk
about it, right?

I went out with Eddie for seven days and
are leaving for Saturday.

I don't want to push you. I've been
married to Tom for eight years.

Well, this would help you deal with all
of that tonight.

I can't go away with you for the night.

This person's going to arrive at any
moment. And I know everybody says it's a

wonderful experience, but I don't want
to remember a single thing about a tiny

human being exploding out of my vagina.

So when it all kicks off, I don't want
to be in the middle of nowhere with a

crazy person trying to coax the baby out
with feathers and crystals.

I'm going to go for all the drugs.

All of them.

Absolutely.

There she is.

Well, you stay here. Finish cooking
that.

Okay. I love you.

I love you.

Enough of that now.

I love you.

What? Oh, Joy.

Hi. Joy, it's you.

Mummy in. Mummy in. You're here.

Yeah.

Mum, could you come away with me for the
night to this retreat thing?

Actually, we were just sort of... Yeah,
there was this fun article in the Sunday

papers about Sting and Trudy Styler.

Yes, and the really funny thing was the
word tantrum.

Tantric? Also came up on the crossword,
didn't it, Alan? It did, yes, yes, it

did. It's nine down.

Do we need milk?

Okay, I'm going to go now.

Honey, we keep what is upping you to
come over for dinner and you keep

us off.

Well, I know I said I found it hard to
cook for three instead of four because,

you know, it's like... Aidan's gone.

Emma and I only cater for two or four.

But, honey, it's okay.

I can just breathe the extra portion.

After you. Oh, you certainly will.

Hey.

So, I'll see you down there.

Yeah. I just have to cover Greg's piece
on how you can really make your

communion money work for you, and then
I'll be all over you.

I'm really enjoying our assignments.

Not because I'm a voyeur.

Voyeur. Voyeur. Sorry.

I'm not really sure how to say that.

It's just because, I mean, it's fun
working with you.

Sylvia. Welcome to the first day of the
rest of your life of telling unhappiness

and self -doubt to fuck off.

So you signed the form agreeing

to full submission of the house rules,
yes?

Yeah. Wow.

Come with me.

To the vagina of life.

I can take that.

It's just that I've got all my stuff in
there, all my creams and my bits from my

face. I can be quite particular about my
skin care routine.

I've been told I have a little bit of
rosacea, actually.

They cannot bring you happiness.

Okay. It's just all of my stuff is in
there, like my PJs and my dressing gown.

Goodbye,

things. The brochure did warn not to
bring things of material value.

And to book before the end of the month
for some great bank holiday offers.

So if

everyone

can join hands.

Creative energies by sharing it with one
another.

Please give you some positivity.

Oh, no, I'm fine, thank you.

So, my little cherubs, why are we here?

I feel I need to find a way to be happy
again.

I mean, I was happy with Sheila before
she slept with four people off the

resident association.

Yeah, I need to stop shopping to fill
the hole in my life.

I'm convinced one more pair of shoes and
I'll be satisfied, but it's only making

me sadder.

My niece thinks it's cool that I live in
a shoe den, but she is two and a half,

you know.

I ate four eclairs after only getting 23
likes for a selfie, so I need to stop

looking for approval from everybody else
just because my confidence is in my

pants right now. Sorry, notes on my
pants.

What's that expression again?

In my boots.

In my boots.

Perfect. Because everyone's meant to be
living the perfect life in the perfect

relationship. Sometimes I feel the
pressure gets so heavy it might crack my

skull open.

Like actually crack it open.

But I've discovered, as I hope many of
you will, that that can't actually

happen. Isn't that right, Sylvia?

Thank you, Fitz.

What about you, Joy?

What has brought you?

To this place.

Oh, it's a work thing.

I'm working on myself.

Are there things in your life that
you've been unwilling to face or own up

before now?

No.

Everyone else thinks I should be doing
things differently, but I'm okay with

I am. I believe everything you're
telling me as long as you are truly

Yeah, yeah.

Very happy. Happy out.

Happy just doing the things the way I do
them. I think everyone else just needs

to accept that, I think.

So where is your happy place?

Alone.

Or with five people. I do like five
people.

Out of a population of seven billion,
she likes five people.

To be fair, she was never going to get
to know everyone, was she?

Do you think you're growing as a person,
Joy?

You know, I have been thinking a lot
about all of that stuff, and I just want

say that I am going to try to let go a
bit.

Good.

Because you're not the only one who's
had to let go of a bit, you know, for

Okay, good.

And I'm going to start by doing things
and ideas and stuff

and things.

That'd be great, Joey.

That'd be great, thanks.

Come, Joe.

From here? Come.

Come.

Come.

Come.

Okay, okay.

I don't think I need to start crying or
start buying shoes or anything, you

know, just to prove that I feel a
certain way or whatever.

It's just a gentle technique to cleanse
the aura and release pent -up emotions.

Oh, and don't be alarmed if you become
emotional joy.

It's just your pent -up negative
emotions finding a place

to... Oh, cool.

This is sage to cleanse your aura and
dandelion oil to clear away all the...

Dirty energy.

What the hell?

Dandelions are so stupid. This is
stupid. This is all so stupid.

Because it clearly doesn't work. Because
nothing, look, nothing.

Nothing has come out. It doesn't work.
You know what? I would like a refund,

actually. Cash and 50s in an envelope.
Because this is...

This is called a happy place. Does this
look happy to you?

I'm going to tell our subscribers about
it as well. This absolute farce.

I've never in my life.

Hey, Joey.

Hey.

You all right?

Yeah.

I don't know how to do this piece, Stan.

I'm not sure I know what intuition feels
like.

They keep asking us to listen to our gut
feeling, but the only gut feeling I

have is extreme hunger because I think
they think eating nice food is bad.

I think that's what people like, Joey.

You don't pretend to have all the
answers.

Be yourself and you'll be great.

Just be your lovely, non -judgmentally
self.

I'm not sure I have a non -judgmentally
self.

Of course you do, Joy.

Let's get back. Come on.

Sheila, I forgive you. I forgive you. We
should never have moved there. It was

my fault. We should never have moved
there.

Let us all reconnect with nature.

Give thanks to the trees.

Thank you, trees!

Thank you.

Deciduous conifer.

Sorry I haven't been in touch lately,
but I did want to say thanks a mil for

everything, you know.

Really nailing my career right now.

My personal relationships.

Oh, I'm living with somebody who takes a
bath with bearded strangers, and it

turns out I have no friends.

And I might be quite odd, so I just
wanted to say... Oh.

Thank you that I lost it in front of all
these strangers.

Just here, yeah?

I'm pretty kind to you.

So, I invite you now to let go of your
emotions and...

And allow Mother Nature to heal your
broken heart in her leafy bosom. For

fuck's sake.

Look to the sky.

Tell me what you can see.

I can see a cloud in the shape of a
shoe.

I see the tail of an airplane cloud.

It's probably Sheila off the Barbados.
Ten lovers off our road.

I see some pretty great lighting for a
good selfie here.

What about you, Joy?

I just see potential sun damage, really.

One of those birds there coming over
here and just shitting on me to my

It's worrying me a little bit. I haven't
had a tetanus since last May. What I

want you to see are the limitless
possibilities.

Fly as high as that beautiful sky.

Downward, of course.

There are no limits.

There is a limit that when you go beyond
the Earth's atmosphere, you completely

implode in an orbital velocity.

Shut the fuck up, Fenton.

Tell unhappiness and self -doubt to...
to fuck off. Join me

together.

Fuck off!

Is that... Is that butter on my face?

Yeah. Yes.

I don't have any of my stuff. I've got
very specific skin care needs. I've got

dry skin and rosacea, so this is helping
moisturize.

Yeah. I don't have a dressing gown that
was also thrown in a ditch in a bid to

find happiness.

Yeah, you're like the Bear Grylls of the
retreat world.

Yeah.

Yeah.

How do you still have those? They're
contraband goods.

I knocked down to the ditch.

I needed to rescue these guys before I
could sleep.

Really?

Yeah.

They're gorgeous.

Maybe you should do that.

Are you sure that's okay?

Yeah.

And maybe after that, stay every night.

I really hope you all got something from
this experience.

If there is any one thing you would take
away, what would it be?

The small shampoo and conditioner in the
bathroom.

No, no.

No, nothing.

Because things do not define me.

In order to be happy, it's all right to
be really, really sad first.

You again.

I'm going to try and get out of my own
head.

I think maybe I am lonely.

I've never minded being alone, but this
feels different.

And it's not like anything bad happened
in my childhood.

My mom has apologized for feeding me
those really bad chicken nuggets, but

said everyone was at it in the 80s.

It does feel like it's getting harder to
be like this.

It's really hard out there, too. I mean,
so many exhausting feelings, so much

potential for pain.

Like why can you not compromise on
anything?

Like what's wrong with you?

Why can't you just say it?

My case, you are so welcome.

But as much as I hate to break this
moment of altruism, my case was in there

too. Yeah.

I'm glad I did this.

Yeah, me too, I think.

You know what Sylvia wants?

Throwing away all your baggage. I don't
think it's entirely realistic.

Yeah.

To lighten your load, maybe.

Figure out what you're willing to keep
carrying.

You know, we should swap numbers.

promised to meet each other for lunch
like 57 times until we both eventually

accept that it's never going to happen.

I'd like that.

Great.

Hey, Tara, as my new never -to -be -seen
-again friend, I think you should know

that I'm trying to be less scared of
asking people for help and depending on

them, so could I interview you about
your experience here so I could maybe

my job?

Done. You can keep your job if I can
keep your Adidas Originals.

Okay. Yeah?

Yeah.

What size are you?

Thirteen.

Thirteen? Yeah, I am.

You wouldn't know.

I'm telling negativity and strict
skincare regimes to fuck off.

Oh, hi, Lady of the Manor.

How'd it go?

It was actually very interesting.

Oh, this is Jimmy, by the way. Hiya.

Oh, he's not. We didn't... Basically,
we've been friends since, like, forever,

and we've been having baths together
since we were, what, like... Like,

I'm gay, just in case you thought it got
weird after the age of 12 or whatever.

Oh, no, it's never been weird.

Nothing's gonna happen if I don't
cleanse tone.

Exfoliate, ceramides, moisturizers. I
mean, the world's not going to stop

turning. All right. Where's Canine
Aiden?

He's feeling a bit lonely.

Nice to meet you, Jimmy.

See ya.

Bye.

Hey, there's still a bit of a pong here.
Put them through another cycle.

Come here.

Oh, lick. Okay.

Good lick.

So gross.

I know you've just licked your bum
before licking my face.

Snared.

Well, I am trying to let go and be less
judgmental.

And you've just had a bath, so... Clean
as a whistle.

I appreciate this foot.

Thanks for coming home, Joy.

Despite all my flaws and shit in the bed
and all that, thanks for coming back to

me.

She's gas.

Uh -oh, she's thinking tea?

After 9 .30?

There's 26 .4 megs of caffeine in every
bag. Are these people insane?

Sure. Atta girl.

Tomorrow night, Katie forces herself to
start dating after her daughter sees her

as a sad Kate, while Laura's therapy
breakthrough provides writing

in the hilarious Women on the Verge at
half nine, over on two.

But now on RT, one Brendan O 'Connor's
panel tackle friendship and finding love

in real life.

In Cutting Edge, next.