Original subtitles

An old pepper in her step this morning.

Good, good to see.

He's not coming back. Okay.

No one quite scratches under the chin like he can. Not to mention those pig's

ears.

Yummers!

That was our dirty little secret.

I just want to make you happy, Joey. It's just that everything feels

now, and I'm struggling here a bit, and I think you are too, but maybe you're

just better at hiding it than me.

It's just that dogs need boundaries.

Sometimes I think you're the only one who doesn't judge me.

You know that? I'm the only one who gets me. I won't judge you if you don't

judge me, okay?

Ah.

Yeah. You see, the thing is... Now, wait.

Aidan? No.

Pause, rewind, refocus.

What have you got to say for yourself?

That was a proper human -dog connecting moment we had. That was pure Disney

stuff right there.

Okay, so, wait.

So this is... Rookie. No.

I know. No. Boundaries. Totally. Yeah. No. I get us. You know, you think I

haven't watched Pretty Woman with you like 7 ,000 times.

Not in the mouth!

High five, sister.

That's not a high five. I'm just really excited for you. Congratulations.

Basically, you haven't been fired.

Oh, was I going to be? I'm not going to lie. The chances were defo up there.

We're expecting a lot of trolling, big backlash, intense hate, and all directed

at you because you're not Flora.

Okay.

I thought maybe they believed in me. Yeah, no.

But then people liked it. Our sponsors are happy.

We haven't fucked it up. Okay, good.

Yeah. Yes, it is good, Joy.

We're not going to starve and I can still buy expensive moisturizer, which

important to me.

Okay? Okay.

Jeffrey, Audrey and the team are waiting to tell us about this week's

assignment. You are going to freak out.

It's not what I want. It's not what I want.

It's not what I want. I will.

All righty, all righty, all righty.

We are still standing, comrades.

I'm better than we expected, Joey.

Audrey here thought you were going to fuck the whole thing up and then you

and surprised us all with your naive reporting style and your supreme

vulnerability.

You fooled them all.

You didn't really fool me. We have a pretty good editor.

So this week you basically need to be better. We've assigned Stan to you for

rest of the week. That guy is so committed.

He has third -degree windburns from Skellig Michael.

He's a legend.

Maybe. You just concentrate on getting the juicy stuff. Make it sexy, make it

hot. Chiz it up.

Chiz. Jazz.

Jazz it up, jazz it up.

Okay. So what exactly will I be doing? We need a piece on boundaries.

Write up your views on how they impact our lives through a company of film

pieces to camera. Where you'll be wrestling.

It's a wellness group called Wrestle Your Demons where you get to explore

healthy boundaries and tone up.

It's brilliant.

But you need to bring a friend. You have to sit in twos.

You can do it, Joy.

But we need more to know more about you. We're watching, Joy.

What are you

coming over, Joy?

Your dad's procedure is all done now.

Hello, Mrs. Joy's mum.

It's all good down there, chicken. She's doing great.

He's a little bit tender, but his penis is fine, love.

Hey, I saw the finished piece from last week.

Yeah, I really don't know what I'm doing.

No, it was good. It was funny.

You were like a young, fearless, abseiling Princess Leia or something.

Or like Chewbacca or whatever.

They've assigned me to film this week's piece too.

So see you in the wrestling ring.

Sorry.

Do you properly document my humiliation?

No, don't worry. I'll catch all your best angles.

I'm really looking forward to it.

What is it with you?

I mean, with you and your stuff and your belongings and you just need all your

space and order and... Jesus.

Actually, well, that's just really annoying.

It's just an order to things. You know, there's boundaries to stuff.

Helping you feel calm, make you feel happy and organized.

That would be unhelpful.

What boundaries, though?

So it's like you make these rules up in your head.

And then you think you have to apply them to all life situations.

And you expect everyone else to know what the fuck you're talking about.

Or what to do with them.

Well, I don't want to keep discussing it.

Yeah, well, I'm sorry if it frustrates me.

And your breathing exercises, of course, are your friends.

I'm sorry we couldn't go to the cinema, but I've got to learn this stuff so I

don't rip my vagina.

Yeah, no, I totally understand.

And with Tom being away, I've missed so many classes.

Let's go.

I'm enjoying this. Basically, you just take your coconut oil and you just rub

right in there. Right into your perineum.

This is very educational.

Let's just breathe again here.

Okay.

Actually,

do you know, I do have a favor to ask you back.

Will you be my wrestling partner?

Um, no.

You can to do that.

Yeah, they can be quite strict about things like unpasteurised cheese and

contact wrestling.

Yeah.

Honestly, Joy, if you want to hang out with other friends, I'm totally cool

it. What other friends? Joy,

it's okay to have other friends.

You can make other friends.

Because believe it or not, you make a very lovely friend. The one thing that

don't want is to be unrepaired. Oh, don't freak out. We have the roommate

interviews tomorrow.

And who knows, maybe one of them could turn into, like, a real pal.

Before you know it, you've ripped your vagina right into your anus. Exactly.

Such a good menu.

I'm going to go for the croque monsieur with chips and sausages and a side of

kale. Keeps my hair shiny.

What do you want, Joyce?

I don't know, Charlene.

I think I'm just freaking out a little bit because I have to find a partner for

this wrestling thing, you know? I mean, I know my world is small. I know I've

cut myself off from other people, and maybe that's okay.

Or maybe now it's not okay because it's not working as a coping mechanism

anymore. But in truth, I just kind of convinced myself I didn't really need

anybody else. And anyway, I wouldn't know how to undo it all or do it any

way anyway.

Okay, but what would you like for lunch?

Oh.

Same.

know what i'm doing charlene nobody does i just don't get this wrestling i've

got tight hamstrings what would flora do stretch oh look please come with me

tomorrow to the wrestling jeffrey and audrey are looking for something

and honest and amazing and i'm really starting to feel the pressure i can't go

with you joy i can't double job and besides i've been in trouble for

before but it can't be that hard for you to find someone People love being in

front of the camera.

Go over to her.

Ask her.

Members of the public love being involved. It makes them feel reflected

truth of it or some bullshit like that that's very touching but I don't really

understand. I can't ask her. She's going to think I'm weird. Probably, but is

that really the worst that can happen?

So, this is Sarah, and she'd really like to be involved in the piece tomorrow.

Hi, nice to meet you.

Oh, lucky, do you know that?

No social media.

No one looking to see how not perfectly you're living your life. No one judging,

no rules, no pressure.

I mean, you can just go out and sniff around whoever you want.

No one's going to get a picture of him putting on lines of the last bitch

ridden and looking going, who's that?

You know?

And look, I don't mean bitch as in bitch.

I mean a lady dog.

And I hope you can still enjoy it after we've got rid of your balls.

Okay.

How do we do this?

Well, we interview them and see which one fits best.

Great. Easy peasy. Piece of it.

I love watching movies and going for walks in my spare time.

No. I'd be happy to cook the meals and things.

Baking, I love baking.

I'm so sorry, I don't think it's going to work out. I'm trying to cut down on

buns. I have a boyfriend, so he'd stay over some time.

But we're not noisy or anything.

Do you have a boyfriend?

I'm incredibly organised, tidy, clean freak.

Sometimes I run with a cloth and a dead -ass spritzer.

Stay in my room mostly.

Don't talk much.

Perfect. No.

Our fridge is broken. You'd hate it here. We have no running water. We have

wrath. So sorry for wasting your time. The room has actually just been taken.

Please, get out.

I thought you said you were going to do things differently.

I'm trying. You're not. You're not trying.

You said you were reimagining boundaries for your work, for your life. I am. I

did. Just today, I hung out with this hot young thing who happens to be maybe

falling in love with human aid and tomorrow I'm going to wrestle her.

On the internet, yeah, so don't lecture me on boundaries, because... Oh!

Oh, OK, Trish.

Watch this.

Oh!

Ooh! Look at the new me in action.

Are you watching?

Do you want the room?

What? The room here, do you want it?

Er, yeah.

Great, it's yours.

Thank you, thank you so much for the laser.

Oh, that's so exciting.

Look at this. Congrats!

Ooh!

Too low, that's my gi.

As you know, it's a piece on boundaries.

But look, it'll be a good bit of exercise and nothing else because you do

like you like to keep fit.

Like you say, you do a lot of squats. Like, would squatting be a part of your

daily routine?

Um, yeah, I like to keep pretty fit.

Your hair is very swishy.

Are you good with kale?

Like, where are you with your intake of kale?

Um, is this a beauty feature?

Oh, oh.

A little poo.

Um, it's just some background research stuff.

Uh, cool.

You know, I've been thinking about the whole boundary things and, you know, how

to keep them healthy.

I think what it really is for me is just about trying to do things continually

outside your comfort zone, you know?

And what if you can only eat first inside your comfort zone?

Well, then you die.

Like, emotionally.

Why else would we exist if it's not to learn and grow?

To love.

To find and share joy.

Besides, if I kept the boundaries...

I never would have met this Britney guy.

Oh.

I'm so sorry. I think I still have some shame in my shape.

Hey, Joy.

Hello.

I'm just going to get a few shots over here and then I'll be ready to roll in

two minutes. Perfect.

So, I hate running, right? I mean, I really hate it.

I think it actually stems from being chased by a potential sexual predator

once. Anyway, I don't believe in bad boundaries like that.

So, I joined this fun -type running group and met this really cute guy.

I hate running in groups.

But hey.

Well. Oh.

Hey. How about that?

Where do you stand on WWE boundaries, huh? Sorry? Oh, Jesus. There's too much

your face for you? Kind of. What about this? The rear naked choke. The rear

naked choke. The rear naked choke. A retaliation move. It's quite crazy.

You're constantly wrangling.

Oh, the brain blast.

Okay, I'm tapping out. I'm tapping out. No, you're not. She's tapping out. No,

she's not.

Hey, how about I just threw everything off course here for a second and told

I was falling in love with you?

Nothing. Oh.

Anyway, turns out not all guys are sexual predators.

You know, some can be really sweet, fun, gentle, passionate lovers.

Rolling.

Are you okay?

I think I must have eaten some raw chicken or something in that coffee

definitely going to complain about it.

Yeah, you should.

Ready?

Okay,

before

we start today, let's talk a little about the philosophy of professional

wrestling. What we learn in the ring here today, we learn in life.

we can start to benefit from the strength of other people and secure

to protect our weaknesses.

When you're ready, start to circle each other and recognise each other's body

languages.

That's actually an illegal shot. I'm so sorry.

Hey landlady.

I'm just unwinding, chilling.

Oh, by the way, do not panic about the mess.

I am going to clean it up. I basically unpacked here and I'm going to move it

to my room.

I've been living on couch for so long, I totally forgot about the wardrobe.

Oh, yeah, also, I wanted to watch TV and then I found this zipped up in here and

I didn't want to tamper with it because I thought it might be part of a police

investigation.

I know it's a crime to tamper with the evidence.

And I didn't want you to end up in jail just because I wanted to watch Cake

Boss, you know?

You live on couches?

Yeah, couchsurf .com.

Basically, like, live on loads of random people's couches, meeting new people,

new experiences, moving around, mixing it up.

I have met some of my best friends, actually, on couches.

Some of my best lovers, even.

Who knew I'd learn to make the perfect patatas bravas from the coolest Latino

transgender mind performer I personally have ever met.

Honestly, he was like... I thought there was a window there, but there was no...

I've never even had patatas bravas.

Oh, my God.

I'll teach you how to make them.

It'd be really nice.

I think maybe I've needed some patatas bravas for some while now.

Oh, carb -related sugar thumb?

I hear you, sister. I one time fainted on the street and cracked two ribs

because a lady cycled over me on a city bike. So you have to be very careful

with those.

Oh, no. Hang on. Let me.

Do not worry.

Oh.

Voila.

Thank you.

We broke up right in the middle of season two of Narcos.

Oh, no.

Yeah, I just couldn't touch it, you know? I just zipped it up in here.

How come you're here?

You know, in a room, not on a couch for some surfy trip.

Yeah, uh, my last guy, he, um, stole my credit card

after he stole my heart.

He also told her this really lovely cashmere sweater I was particularly

to. Yeah, so I just needed to move on to try something new.

I did something new today.

Oh?

I hung out with a stranger.

We chatted. She shut her guard down and I really wanted to hate her.

see why he likes her.

Then I fought her like an old -fashioned duel, but she won.

She really won, you know.

She opened up her boundaries, and when I crossed them, she took my strength. She

took my fucking strength, Amelia. I felt like Mickey Rourke.

Yeah.

And then she handed me my last toned ass back to me on a plate.

I mean, it was pretty impressive, to be honest.

And now the teeth are trending on Twitter, which is interesting.

Maybe I've just had my boundary settings the wrong way around.

Hey.

Do you want to watch some drug lords get gunned down at close range in the face?

Sounds really lovely.

Give me that.

I'm out.

Right. Here we go.

Oh, sorry. There we go.

His face.

See, I find him really handsome, even though I do know that he's in quite a

of families' lives.

There he is.

There goes his face.

I think I'm ready to give you this.

Joey, your tiny heart of stone.

Yeah.

Thank you.

we got to know you more. Sort of. Bye.

Hey.

Oh, yeah.

The snuggle monster's here.

Oh, she's probably wondering what she's got herself into.

She must be exhausted, poor thing.

I know.

I miss him, too.

Oh, God, let's... Got me.

That's really got me.

Go away.

We're bonding.

Hey, Joy.

Some bloke is here with the same name as your dog.

What? He says it's about wrestling that woman on the internet. Oh, my God.

Pixies!

Joy?

Catherine Thomas, host.

The new series of Ireland's Fittest Family, which picked off on October 28th

here on RTE1. Next this evening, Brendan O 'Connor's Cutting Edge.