All language subtitles for Dwight In Shining Armor s01e04 Lotions and Potions
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1
00:00:07,280 --> 00:00:08,280
Huh.
2
00:00:42,280 --> 00:00:43,360
Ah, hey, man.
3
00:00:43,560 --> 00:00:46,080
Excuse me. That's... You can't do that.
4
00:00:54,280 --> 00:00:54,880
Good
5
00:00:54,880 --> 00:01:04,620
morrow.
6
00:01:04,720 --> 00:01:06,340
Cheers, my lovely.
7
00:01:07,210 --> 00:01:11,610
I bring you a token of affection from
your secret admirer.
8
00:01:13,110 --> 00:01:14,110
Admirer?
9
00:01:14,610 --> 00:01:17,670
Who? That's the secret part.
10
00:01:18,910 --> 00:01:20,050
My goodness.
11
00:01:20,690 --> 00:01:22,670
You are positively ancient.
12
00:01:23,170 --> 00:01:26,490
You must be the oldest person I have
ever laid eyes on.
13
00:01:27,110 --> 00:01:28,470
This is astonishing.
14
00:01:29,010 --> 00:01:32,310
How is it possible you're so old and
still living?
15
00:01:33,990 --> 00:01:35,330
It's a trade secret.
16
00:01:41,530 --> 00:01:44,570
Okay, so about a thousand years ago,
there was this princess, Greta.
17
00:01:44,770 --> 00:01:48,430
And she was in big trouble, because she
had lots of enemies and not a lot of
18
00:01:48,430 --> 00:01:49,430
friends.
19
00:01:50,390 --> 00:01:53,790
So her court magician, Baldrick, cast
the Champion Spell.
20
00:01:54,190 --> 00:01:57,250
It put everyone in the woods to sleep
until a champion would come, break the
21
00:01:57,250 --> 00:01:59,550
spell with his kiss, and deal with
Greta's big scary enemies.
22
00:01:59,810 --> 00:02:01,910
But that guy never showed up.
23
00:02:02,250 --> 00:02:05,330
Instead, they got me.
24
00:02:28,700 --> 00:02:30,660
So, what's your plan with all these
turnips?
25
00:02:34,440 --> 00:02:35,440
Hey!
26
00:02:47,320 --> 00:02:48,320
Princess?
27
00:02:59,250 --> 00:03:00,250
Baldrick!
28
00:03:00,530 --> 00:03:01,530
You okay?
29
00:03:02,830 --> 00:03:03,830
The flowers.
30
00:03:04,590 --> 00:03:05,790
What? The flowers.
31
00:03:06,150 --> 00:03:08,130
What happened? Don't smell the flowers!
32
00:03:09,870 --> 00:03:13,990
Greta! Can you get out of here, please?
She's gone, Sir Dwight. The flowers are
33
00:03:13,990 --> 00:03:15,770
bewitched and the culprit has taken the
princess.
34
00:03:16,030 --> 00:03:16,589
Are you sure?
35
00:03:16,590 --> 00:03:19,370
We need a cart or a carriage of some
sort.
36
00:03:19,610 --> 00:03:20,369
What for?
37
00:03:20,370 --> 00:03:22,130
To rush to the princess's rescue.
38
00:03:22,350 --> 00:03:23,810
No, you're not rushing anywhere, big
guy.
39
00:03:24,330 --> 00:03:26,710
The princess has been kidnapped!
40
00:03:27,310 --> 00:03:28,310
Abducted! Seized!
41
00:03:28,650 --> 00:03:29,650
Solon!
42
00:03:29,690 --> 00:03:31,150
Capture her! I get it. I get it. Don't
worry.
43
00:03:31,670 --> 00:03:32,710
We'll find her, okay?
44
00:03:33,690 --> 00:03:34,329
Don't move!
45
00:03:34,330 --> 00:03:36,410
I've been rendered immobile, you
featherhead!
46
00:03:40,610 --> 00:03:41,610
Hail, brother!
47
00:03:41,630 --> 00:03:42,670
Oh, hail!
48
00:03:43,190 --> 00:03:45,570
Cloudwig, um, I can't talk right now.
I'm on a mission.
49
00:03:46,090 --> 00:03:47,750
Indeed? Of what sort?
50
00:03:48,490 --> 00:03:50,790
Baldrick's under some kind of floppy
spell, and we've got to find Greta.
51
00:03:51,010 --> 00:03:53,690
Ah. Might I render you some assistance,
Sir Dwight?
52
00:03:58,190 --> 00:03:59,190
you absolutely might.
53
00:04:04,110 --> 00:04:09,570
There are only a handful of witches who
could conjure a language spell of this
54
00:04:09,570 --> 00:04:10,570
potency.
55
00:04:14,050 --> 00:04:17,130
Princess Greta is in mortal peril.
56
00:04:17,589 --> 00:04:21,010
Not if she has her phone with her. I
just have to pick her up and find my
57
00:04:21,010 --> 00:04:23,370
friends and get her.
58
00:04:23,710 --> 00:04:25,450
Leave the charge to Dwight.
59
00:04:25,830 --> 00:04:26,830
Yes, quickly.
60
00:04:27,160 --> 00:04:29,680
Where? That way. That way. Down.
61
00:04:30,140 --> 00:04:31,700
Quickly. Straight.
62
00:04:31,980 --> 00:04:32,980
Straight.
63
00:04:34,640 --> 00:04:35,640
Faster.
64
00:04:37,340 --> 00:04:39,640
Watch the bump.
65
00:04:42,060 --> 00:04:46,760
For a
66
00:04:46,760 --> 00:04:53,720
thousand pardons, you pair
67
00:04:53,720 --> 00:04:55,660
of poop -notties. Hey, man, I know
you're...
68
00:04:57,100 --> 00:04:58,740
But there is no need for insults.
69
00:04:59,320 --> 00:05:01,660
That was an insult, right? Indeed it
was.
70
00:05:08,140 --> 00:05:10,340
What are you men?
71
00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:11,600
A couple of...
72
00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:18,480
One of you scratch
73
00:05:18,480 --> 00:05:19,480
my nose.
74
00:05:21,020 --> 00:05:22,380
Take it. It's on you.
75
00:05:28,200 --> 00:05:29,200
the other side.
76
00:05:30,220 --> 00:05:31,280
And fiercely.
77
00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:35,020
Now go. Now go. It's hot.
78
00:05:36,120 --> 00:05:37,120
Warmer.
79
00:05:37,240 --> 00:05:38,240
Warmer.
80
00:05:38,420 --> 00:05:39,560
She should be right over there.
81
00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:41,040
Come on.
82
00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:50,560
She should be here. So I found this
broken phone by my child. You've got to
83
00:05:50,560 --> 00:05:51,560
kidding me.
84
00:05:52,040 --> 00:05:53,200
Excuse me. Hi.
85
00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:55,540
Where did you get this phone?
86
00:05:56,750 --> 00:06:03,090
it over by the churro place release the
princess or die stand down man no
87
00:06:03,090 --> 00:06:10,050
i'm sorry about that buddy we're on a um
a role play scavenger hunt it's
88
00:06:10,050 --> 00:06:15,550
a a thing so maybe you can help us out
we're trying to find a warrior princess
89
00:06:15,550 --> 00:06:21,990
girl and a witch and a buxom wench
another
90
00:06:21,990 --> 00:06:26,570
time have you seen Anybody acting weird,
think hard.
91
00:06:26,930 --> 00:06:29,350
Um, how about him?
92
00:06:29,750 --> 00:06:32,550
Yeah, for sure, you got the right idea.
Definitely him.
93
00:06:32,810 --> 00:06:33,970
I don't disagree.
94
00:06:34,370 --> 00:06:36,430
Uh, or him?
95
00:06:38,290 --> 00:06:43,850
What did you say?
96
00:06:45,890 --> 00:06:48,590
Is that Norwegian?
97
00:06:49,270 --> 00:06:52,290
Flemish. It is Tavar speak.
98
00:06:53,800 --> 00:06:57,560
I know of only one witch who can command
that spell.
99
00:07:00,280 --> 00:07:01,280
How's my hair?
100
00:07:01,680 --> 00:07:02,800
Did you see where she went?
101
00:07:03,720 --> 00:07:08,180
Be plainly fooled. We know you know.
102
00:07:08,640 --> 00:07:12,960
Hey, back off. We need answers. We don't
need to be jerks about it, okay?
103
00:07:18,280 --> 00:07:19,660
You're a knight. You're a knight.
104
00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:23,420
You're better than this.
105
00:07:25,300 --> 00:07:28,740
I'm really sorry about that. They're
doing a role -play scavenger hunt.
106
00:07:29,360 --> 00:07:34,120
He's the knight, he's the wizard, and
he's the... I just pushed the
107
00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:39,520
man. They still need a princess and a
buxom wench. Cancel the buxom wench. It
108
00:07:39,520 --> 00:07:41,720
the witch we must find.
109
00:07:59,080 --> 00:08:00,180
After the witch!
110
00:08:04,760 --> 00:08:06,140
Can you hit one, please?
111
00:08:11,820 --> 00:08:12,960
Did you see that?
112
00:08:13,380 --> 00:08:14,380
A twitch.
113
00:08:19,240 --> 00:08:21,880
spell is no match for me.
114
00:08:22,180 --> 00:08:26,960
Out of the way, peasants.
115
00:08:27,480 --> 00:08:28,480
Quickly.
116
00:08:29,760 --> 00:08:35,460
After her. What lies beyond this
marketplace?
117
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Nothing. Just the woods.
118
00:09:24,010 --> 00:09:26,350
The second you become annoying, the gag
goes back.
119
00:09:27,270 --> 00:09:28,470
What do you want, witch?
120
00:09:28,790 --> 00:09:30,450
What everyone wants, princess.
121
00:09:34,530 --> 00:09:41,430
Unhand me at once!
122
00:09:41,670 --> 00:09:43,610
This is your final warning!
123
00:09:44,090 --> 00:09:47,110
The spell grows weaker by the moment.
124
00:09:47,530 --> 00:09:49,490
Look how well I can bend my knees.
125
00:09:50,810 --> 00:09:52,510
I see Greta. And the witch?
126
00:09:53,040 --> 00:09:55,340
Oh, don't be such a baby. You won't even
listen.
127
00:09:55,800 --> 00:09:57,480
I know that voice.
128
00:09:58,400 --> 00:09:59,900
Does my beard look unkempt?
129
00:10:00,140 --> 00:10:02,620
Uh, it looks about like normal.
130
00:10:02,920 --> 00:10:03,879
Smooth it out.
131
00:10:03,880 --> 00:10:04,880
What? Why?
132
00:10:04,940 --> 00:10:05,940
My eyebrows, too.
133
00:10:06,400 --> 00:10:07,840
Quickly. Quickly.
134
00:10:08,460 --> 00:10:10,060
Yes, smooth, smooth.
135
00:10:12,200 --> 00:10:13,760
Just one little finger.
136
00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:16,380
You act like you don't have none others.
137
00:10:17,320 --> 00:10:20,760
On my feet. No time to lose.
138
00:10:34,540 --> 00:10:36,620
She must not sense weakness.
139
00:10:39,640 --> 00:10:42,020
Does my nose clean up protrusions?
140
00:10:42,940 --> 00:10:43,940
Clean enough.
141
00:10:44,160 --> 00:10:46,000
Oh, dear.
142
00:10:47,140 --> 00:10:49,340
I cannot face her like this.
143
00:10:50,700 --> 00:10:51,940
You know the switch?
144
00:10:53,180 --> 00:10:54,780
My scepter is destroyed.
145
00:10:55,600 --> 00:10:58,540
I cannot stay on my feet.
146
00:10:59,900 --> 00:11:03,040
But she doesn't have to know that, does
she?
147
00:11:03,340 --> 00:11:07,100
You have a plan, Sir Dwight? More like a
preliminary outline of a plan.
148
00:11:07,380 --> 00:11:08,380
Stay back!
149
00:11:08,800 --> 00:11:09,800
But we're going with it.
150
00:11:10,900 --> 00:11:15,080
You may not have my finger. It belongs
to me.
151
00:11:17,120 --> 00:11:18,640
Don't you think you're being a little
bit selfish?
152
00:11:19,160 --> 00:11:20,560
Honestly, such a fuss.
153
00:11:24,400 --> 00:11:25,400
Exola!
154
00:11:29,620 --> 00:11:31,860
I beg your pardon, ancient hag.
155
00:11:32,380 --> 00:11:33,380
I mistook you for another.
156
00:11:35,020 --> 00:11:39,980
And yet, there is something familiar.
157
00:11:40,680 --> 00:11:47,620
Are you perhaps the great, great, great
grandmother of a witch
158
00:11:47,620 --> 00:11:48,900
named Hexala?
159
00:11:51,600 --> 00:11:58,340
Are you perhaps the fat, fat, obesely
fat twin
160
00:11:58,340 --> 00:12:00,840
brother of a second -rate magician named
Baldrick?
161
00:12:04,689 --> 00:12:09,110
Hexala. The years have been unkind to
you.
162
00:12:09,330 --> 00:12:12,070
And the porridge has been unkind to you.
163
00:12:14,030 --> 00:12:18,250
We have come for the princess.
164
00:12:18,650 --> 00:12:19,650
We?
165
00:12:20,630 --> 00:12:23,830
By which I mean myself.
166
00:12:25,190 --> 00:12:30,650
Hello. For I have... Come on, come on.
The valor...
167
00:12:31,020 --> 00:12:32,100
Of a dozen men.
168
00:12:34,200 --> 00:12:35,200
Baldwin, stop.
169
00:12:36,120 --> 00:12:39,420
All I need is a single bone from a
princess.
170
00:12:39,740 --> 00:12:43,640
The smallest of her single bones will
suffice, and then I shall return her to
171
00:12:43,640 --> 00:12:45,280
you unharmed.
172
00:12:45,960 --> 00:12:50,340
Unharmed? You shall not take a hair of
her head.
173
00:12:50,860 --> 00:12:51,880
Oh, how funny.
174
00:12:52,460 --> 00:12:57,040
Actually, the prime elixir does go for a
lock of hair from a maiden's head, so
175
00:12:57,040 --> 00:12:58,400
thank you.
176
00:13:02,320 --> 00:13:06,120
You cannot have Princess Greta's bones.
177
00:13:07,240 --> 00:13:09,180
Not even a finger.
178
00:13:09,520 --> 00:13:10,620
Big. Big.
179
00:13:11,460 --> 00:13:14,160
You don't look that bad.
180
00:13:14,760 --> 00:13:17,720
You just look experienced.
181
00:13:18,720 --> 00:13:20,700
And you look well fed.
182
00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:28,660
Hexler, I will not stand for this. Oh,
dear.
183
00:13:49,260 --> 00:13:55,060
still alive and well under all that
girth. And I'm delighted to know that
184
00:13:55,060 --> 00:14:01,040
witch is still as skilled as ever under
all those wrinkles.
185
00:14:03,040 --> 00:14:05,260
And who are you two?
186
00:14:05,900 --> 00:14:10,960
You are in the presence of Prince
Clawdwig, the... Never mind, I don't
187
00:14:12,700 --> 00:14:18,620
Whether you care or not, I am Prince
Clawdwig, the unstable, and this...
188
00:14:19,020 --> 00:14:21,800
Is Serge White champion to the princess?
189
00:14:22,260 --> 00:14:27,040
Champion? This soft, rising mound of
bread dough?
190
00:14:27,340 --> 00:14:28,460
The very same.
191
00:14:28,980 --> 00:14:31,440
This porcelain chamber part? Enough!
192
00:14:31,900 --> 00:14:36,520
Release me or Serge White will snap your
frail bones one by one.
193
00:14:37,140 --> 00:14:39,440
I'm not going to do that. Come, brother.
194
00:14:52,650 --> 00:14:53,890
Do something useful.
195
00:14:56,030 --> 00:15:01,990
My aching bones. You monster. It'll wear
off.
196
00:15:02,690 --> 00:15:04,210
Fuss, fuss, fuss, fuss.
197
00:15:05,170 --> 00:15:10,170
You have no idea how far I've traveled
to get here.
198
00:15:10,370 --> 00:15:12,910
And every mile shows on your face.
199
00:15:13,410 --> 00:15:18,090
Such a scene over nothing. The finger
will grow back.
200
00:15:18,390 --> 00:15:20,670
Except that fingers don't grow back.
201
00:15:20,890 --> 00:15:22,270
And that's my fault?
202
00:15:35,470 --> 00:15:35,989
you cooking?
203
00:15:35,990 --> 00:15:37,670
It's my prime elixir.
204
00:15:37,930 --> 00:15:40,810
It will return me to my physical peak.
205
00:15:42,070 --> 00:15:43,070
Really?
206
00:15:43,830 --> 00:15:46,070
How does that work? Oh, stand back,
Timberpot!
207
00:15:46,310 --> 00:15:47,470
You'll ruin the recipe!
208
00:15:49,170 --> 00:15:55,070
I didn't touch it. If a hair or an
eyelash or even a fleck of your skin
209
00:15:55,070 --> 00:15:57,450
into the cauldron, the whole thing will
turn just black!
210
00:16:04,780 --> 00:16:05,780
Excella!
211
00:16:06,600 --> 00:16:08,500
Excella! Don't!
212
00:16:12,280 --> 00:16:15,360
You picked the wrong princess!
213
00:16:15,900 --> 00:16:17,600
Excuse me? What?
214
00:16:19,120 --> 00:16:21,000
Your soup's bubbling.
215
00:16:21,260 --> 00:16:22,840
And I'm going to spit in it.
216
00:16:23,220 --> 00:16:25,740
No! Then drop the cleaver. Don't!
217
00:16:27,440 --> 00:16:28,440
Don't!
218
00:16:29,860 --> 00:16:31,960
Now what, chain bug pot?
219
00:16:32,260 --> 00:16:34,000
You have my elixir.
220
00:16:41,290 --> 00:16:44,310
We trade. The Alexa needs the princess's
bones.
221
00:16:44,590 --> 00:16:46,150
Well, the princess needs the princess's
bones.
222
00:16:48,810 --> 00:16:49,810
Baldrick.
223
00:16:50,590 --> 00:16:53,490
Please. For old time's sake.
224
00:16:53,810 --> 00:16:56,270
You wouldn't leave me looking like this.
225
00:16:59,770 --> 00:17:02,650
Loose your spittle, Sir Dwight. No!
226
00:17:03,230 --> 00:17:04,230
Stop!
227
00:17:06,050 --> 00:17:10,109
It seems we've arrived at an impact.
228
00:17:16,030 --> 00:17:18,050
Perhaps. Perhaps not.
229
00:17:18,490 --> 00:17:20,030
Come on, man. That's a person.
230
00:17:20,630 --> 00:17:22,369
There is another way.
231
00:17:24,869 --> 00:17:27,310
You have another princess?
232
00:17:28,050 --> 00:17:29,050
No.
233
00:17:29,390 --> 00:17:32,590
I have princess bones.
234
00:17:37,970 --> 00:17:39,350
Don't worry, buddy. Hang in there.
235
00:17:39,770 --> 00:17:40,770
I got you.
236
00:17:43,460 --> 00:17:46,520
No, no, not there. Not on him. Nope,
nope.
237
00:17:48,340 --> 00:17:50,180
It's starting to count.
238
00:17:50,680 --> 00:17:53,520
I'll give that magician of yours one
minute more.
239
00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:56,060
How far is the royal vault?
240
00:17:56,420 --> 00:17:57,420
South tower.
241
00:17:57,640 --> 00:17:58,539
Not far.
242
00:17:58,540 --> 00:18:01,140
I have been excessively generous.
243
00:18:01,740 --> 00:18:04,240
I wouldn't say excessively.
244
00:18:04,440 --> 00:18:05,440
Or generous.
245
00:18:06,240 --> 00:18:07,720
Now it's your turn.
246
00:18:09,140 --> 00:18:10,540
Choose a finger, princess!
247
00:18:13,410 --> 00:18:14,850
Wait, no, please leave, Conway!
248
00:18:15,810 --> 00:18:16,810
Out of this!
249
00:18:20,330 --> 00:18:21,330
I've got them!
250
00:18:23,790 --> 00:18:24,990
Quickly! Quickly!
251
00:18:32,290 --> 00:18:33,290
It's okay.
252
00:18:33,510 --> 00:18:34,510
It's okay, boy.
253
00:18:35,310 --> 00:18:36,310
What are these?
254
00:18:36,450 --> 00:18:38,390
Teeth. Whose teeth?
255
00:18:38,710 --> 00:18:41,270
Your teeth from when you were a baby.
256
00:18:45,520 --> 00:18:47,220
All of our butts off of Clodwig.
257
00:18:47,780 --> 00:18:48,780
Please?
258
00:18:49,940 --> 00:18:51,680
You kept my baby teeth?
259
00:18:52,660 --> 00:18:53,820
Aren't they adorable?
260
00:18:54,580 --> 00:18:56,760
How quickly the years have flown.
261
00:18:57,240 --> 00:19:00,460
Each little tooth brings back a precious
memory.
262
00:19:17,290 --> 00:19:18,290
To my help.
263
00:19:31,310 --> 00:19:32,310
Now,
264
00:19:35,250 --> 00:19:38,790
Hexalo, remember, I made no assurance
this would work.
265
00:19:47,080 --> 00:19:52,620
this happening probably food poisoning
she was kind of asking for it
266
00:19:52,620 --> 00:19:58,180
excellent
267
00:20:36,840 --> 00:20:39,240
are just as I remember you.
268
00:20:39,800 --> 00:20:42,040
And yours, darling, as ever.
269
00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:45,200
Baldrick.
270
00:20:50,740 --> 00:20:52,720
I'm like some symphony.
271
00:20:53,560 --> 00:20:54,560
Cool.
272
00:20:57,180 --> 00:20:58,840
You've changed, Baldrick.
273
00:20:59,200 --> 00:21:01,920
A pound or two, a few gray hairs.
274
00:21:02,260 --> 00:21:03,260
Oh, it's not that.
275
00:21:03,360 --> 00:21:04,620
You're as handsome as ever.
276
00:21:05,480 --> 00:21:07,950
True. That little girl of yours.
277
00:21:08,510 --> 00:21:10,850
She changed you.
278
00:21:11,870 --> 00:21:17,110
Where will you go now?
279
00:21:17,710 --> 00:21:20,750
This is not the world we knew.
280
00:21:21,070 --> 00:21:22,330
Don't worry about me, love.
281
00:21:24,030 --> 00:21:25,430
I can take care of myself.
282
00:21:26,730 --> 00:21:27,730
Indeed.
283
00:21:33,610 --> 00:21:34,610
Hey!
284
00:21:36,380 --> 00:21:37,219
Try, nut job.
285
00:21:37,220 --> 00:21:38,220
Take the pot.
286
00:21:40,360 --> 00:21:41,460
Almost lost you, buddy.
287
00:21:50,960 --> 00:21:52,780
That is a whole lot of turnip pie.
288
00:21:53,800 --> 00:21:55,500
Well, we have much to celebrate.
289
00:21:55,840 --> 00:21:58,000
Princess Greta is safe and sound.
290
00:21:58,220 --> 00:22:01,220
A most fortunate thing you kept my baby
teeth all these years.
291
00:22:01,620 --> 00:22:03,540
Fortunate and a little weird.
292
00:22:04,250 --> 00:22:07,490
Mummy had my baby teeth sewn into a
little pocket in her girdle.
293
00:22:07,710 --> 00:22:10,730
That way she would always have little
pieces of her baby with her.
294
00:22:15,050 --> 00:22:16,170
Good to have you back, bro.
19191
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