All language subtitles for Dwight In Shining Armor s01e04 Lotions and Potions

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,280 --> 00:00:08,280 Huh. 2 00:00:42,280 --> 00:00:43,360 Ah, hey, man. 3 00:00:43,560 --> 00:00:46,080 Excuse me. That's... You can't do that. 4 00:00:54,280 --> 00:00:54,880 Good 5 00:00:54,880 --> 00:01:04,620 morrow. 6 00:01:04,720 --> 00:01:06,340 Cheers, my lovely. 7 00:01:07,210 --> 00:01:11,610 I bring you a token of affection from your secret admirer. 8 00:01:13,110 --> 00:01:14,110 Admirer? 9 00:01:14,610 --> 00:01:17,670 Who? That's the secret part. 10 00:01:18,910 --> 00:01:20,050 My goodness. 11 00:01:20,690 --> 00:01:22,670 You are positively ancient. 12 00:01:23,170 --> 00:01:26,490 You must be the oldest person I have ever laid eyes on. 13 00:01:27,110 --> 00:01:28,470 This is astonishing. 14 00:01:29,010 --> 00:01:32,310 How is it possible you're so old and still living? 15 00:01:33,990 --> 00:01:35,330 It's a trade secret. 16 00:01:41,530 --> 00:01:44,570 Okay, so about a thousand years ago, there was this princess, Greta. 17 00:01:44,770 --> 00:01:48,430 And she was in big trouble, because she had lots of enemies and not a lot of 18 00:01:48,430 --> 00:01:49,430 friends. 19 00:01:50,390 --> 00:01:53,790 So her court magician, Baldrick, cast the Champion Spell. 20 00:01:54,190 --> 00:01:57,250 It put everyone in the woods to sleep until a champion would come, break the 21 00:01:57,250 --> 00:01:59,550 spell with his kiss, and deal with Greta's big scary enemies. 22 00:01:59,810 --> 00:02:01,910 But that guy never showed up. 23 00:02:02,250 --> 00:02:05,330 Instead, they got me. 24 00:02:28,700 --> 00:02:30,660 So, what's your plan with all these turnips? 25 00:02:34,440 --> 00:02:35,440 Hey! 26 00:02:47,320 --> 00:02:48,320 Princess? 27 00:02:59,250 --> 00:03:00,250 Baldrick! 28 00:03:00,530 --> 00:03:01,530 You okay? 29 00:03:02,830 --> 00:03:03,830 The flowers. 30 00:03:04,590 --> 00:03:05,790 What? The flowers. 31 00:03:06,150 --> 00:03:08,130 What happened? Don't smell the flowers! 32 00:03:09,870 --> 00:03:13,990 Greta! Can you get out of here, please? She's gone, Sir Dwight. The flowers are 33 00:03:13,990 --> 00:03:15,770 bewitched and the culprit has taken the princess. 34 00:03:16,030 --> 00:03:16,589 Are you sure? 35 00:03:16,590 --> 00:03:19,370 We need a cart or a carriage of some sort. 36 00:03:19,610 --> 00:03:20,369 What for? 37 00:03:20,370 --> 00:03:22,130 To rush to the princess's rescue. 38 00:03:22,350 --> 00:03:23,810 No, you're not rushing anywhere, big guy. 39 00:03:24,330 --> 00:03:26,710 The princess has been kidnapped! 40 00:03:27,310 --> 00:03:28,310 Abducted! Seized! 41 00:03:28,650 --> 00:03:29,650 Solon! 42 00:03:29,690 --> 00:03:31,150 Capture her! I get it. I get it. Don't worry. 43 00:03:31,670 --> 00:03:32,710 We'll find her, okay? 44 00:03:33,690 --> 00:03:34,329 Don't move! 45 00:03:34,330 --> 00:03:36,410 I've been rendered immobile, you featherhead! 46 00:03:40,610 --> 00:03:41,610 Hail, brother! 47 00:03:41,630 --> 00:03:42,670 Oh, hail! 48 00:03:43,190 --> 00:03:45,570 Cloudwig, um, I can't talk right now. I'm on a mission. 49 00:03:46,090 --> 00:03:47,750 Indeed? Of what sort? 50 00:03:48,490 --> 00:03:50,790 Baldrick's under some kind of floppy spell, and we've got to find Greta. 51 00:03:51,010 --> 00:03:53,690 Ah. Might I render you some assistance, Sir Dwight? 52 00:03:58,190 --> 00:03:59,190 you absolutely might. 53 00:04:04,110 --> 00:04:09,570 There are only a handful of witches who could conjure a language spell of this 54 00:04:09,570 --> 00:04:10,570 potency. 55 00:04:14,050 --> 00:04:17,130 Princess Greta is in mortal peril. 56 00:04:17,589 --> 00:04:21,010 Not if she has her phone with her. I just have to pick her up and find my 57 00:04:21,010 --> 00:04:23,370 friends and get her. 58 00:04:23,710 --> 00:04:25,450 Leave the charge to Dwight. 59 00:04:25,830 --> 00:04:26,830 Yes, quickly. 60 00:04:27,160 --> 00:04:29,680 Where? That way. That way. Down. 61 00:04:30,140 --> 00:04:31,700 Quickly. Straight. 62 00:04:31,980 --> 00:04:32,980 Straight. 63 00:04:34,640 --> 00:04:35,640 Faster. 64 00:04:37,340 --> 00:04:39,640 Watch the bump. 65 00:04:42,060 --> 00:04:46,760 For a 66 00:04:46,760 --> 00:04:53,720 thousand pardons, you pair 67 00:04:53,720 --> 00:04:55,660 of poop -notties. Hey, man, I know you're... 68 00:04:57,100 --> 00:04:58,740 But there is no need for insults. 69 00:04:59,320 --> 00:05:01,660 That was an insult, right? Indeed it was. 70 00:05:08,140 --> 00:05:10,340 What are you men? 71 00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:11,600 A couple of... 72 00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:18,480 One of you scratch 73 00:05:18,480 --> 00:05:19,480 my nose. 74 00:05:21,020 --> 00:05:22,380 Take it. It's on you. 75 00:05:28,200 --> 00:05:29,200 the other side. 76 00:05:30,220 --> 00:05:31,280 And fiercely. 77 00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:35,020 Now go. Now go. It's hot. 78 00:05:36,120 --> 00:05:37,120 Warmer. 79 00:05:37,240 --> 00:05:38,240 Warmer. 80 00:05:38,420 --> 00:05:39,560 She should be right over there. 81 00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:41,040 Come on. 82 00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:50,560 She should be here. So I found this broken phone by my child. You've got to 83 00:05:50,560 --> 00:05:51,560 kidding me. 84 00:05:52,040 --> 00:05:53,200 Excuse me. Hi. 85 00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:55,540 Where did you get this phone? 86 00:05:56,750 --> 00:06:03,090 it over by the churro place release the princess or die stand down man no 87 00:06:03,090 --> 00:06:10,050 i'm sorry about that buddy we're on a um a role play scavenger hunt it's 88 00:06:10,050 --> 00:06:15,550 a a thing so maybe you can help us out we're trying to find a warrior princess 89 00:06:15,550 --> 00:06:21,990 girl and a witch and a buxom wench another 90 00:06:21,990 --> 00:06:26,570 time have you seen Anybody acting weird, think hard. 91 00:06:26,930 --> 00:06:29,350 Um, how about him? 92 00:06:29,750 --> 00:06:32,550 Yeah, for sure, you got the right idea. Definitely him. 93 00:06:32,810 --> 00:06:33,970 I don't disagree. 94 00:06:34,370 --> 00:06:36,430 Uh, or him? 95 00:06:38,290 --> 00:06:43,850 What did you say? 96 00:06:45,890 --> 00:06:48,590 Is that Norwegian? 97 00:06:49,270 --> 00:06:52,290 Flemish. It is Tavar speak. 98 00:06:53,800 --> 00:06:57,560 I know of only one witch who can command that spell. 99 00:07:00,280 --> 00:07:01,280 How's my hair? 100 00:07:01,680 --> 00:07:02,800 Did you see where she went? 101 00:07:03,720 --> 00:07:08,180 Be plainly fooled. We know you know. 102 00:07:08,640 --> 00:07:12,960 Hey, back off. We need answers. We don't need to be jerks about it, okay? 103 00:07:18,280 --> 00:07:19,660 You're a knight. You're a knight. 104 00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:23,420 You're better than this. 105 00:07:25,300 --> 00:07:28,740 I'm really sorry about that. They're doing a role -play scavenger hunt. 106 00:07:29,360 --> 00:07:34,120 He's the knight, he's the wizard, and he's the... I just pushed the 107 00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:39,520 man. They still need a princess and a buxom wench. Cancel the buxom wench. It 108 00:07:39,520 --> 00:07:41,720 the witch we must find. 109 00:07:59,080 --> 00:08:00,180 After the witch! 110 00:08:04,760 --> 00:08:06,140 Can you hit one, please? 111 00:08:11,820 --> 00:08:12,960 Did you see that? 112 00:08:13,380 --> 00:08:14,380 A twitch. 113 00:08:19,240 --> 00:08:21,880 spell is no match for me. 114 00:08:22,180 --> 00:08:26,960 Out of the way, peasants. 115 00:08:27,480 --> 00:08:28,480 Quickly. 116 00:08:29,760 --> 00:08:35,460 After her. What lies beyond this marketplace? 117 00:08:36,080 --> 00:08:39,400 Nothing. Just the woods. 118 00:09:24,010 --> 00:09:26,350 The second you become annoying, the gag goes back. 119 00:09:27,270 --> 00:09:28,470 What do you want, witch? 120 00:09:28,790 --> 00:09:30,450 What everyone wants, princess. 121 00:09:34,530 --> 00:09:41,430 Unhand me at once! 122 00:09:41,670 --> 00:09:43,610 This is your final warning! 123 00:09:44,090 --> 00:09:47,110 The spell grows weaker by the moment. 124 00:09:47,530 --> 00:09:49,490 Look how well I can bend my knees. 125 00:09:50,810 --> 00:09:52,510 I see Greta. And the witch? 126 00:09:53,040 --> 00:09:55,340 Oh, don't be such a baby. You won't even listen. 127 00:09:55,800 --> 00:09:57,480 I know that voice. 128 00:09:58,400 --> 00:09:59,900 Does my beard look unkempt? 129 00:10:00,140 --> 00:10:02,620 Uh, it looks about like normal. 130 00:10:02,920 --> 00:10:03,879 Smooth it out. 131 00:10:03,880 --> 00:10:04,880 What? Why? 132 00:10:04,940 --> 00:10:05,940 My eyebrows, too. 133 00:10:06,400 --> 00:10:07,840 Quickly. Quickly. 134 00:10:08,460 --> 00:10:10,060 Yes, smooth, smooth. 135 00:10:12,200 --> 00:10:13,760 Just one little finger. 136 00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:16,380 You act like you don't have none others. 137 00:10:17,320 --> 00:10:20,760 On my feet. No time to lose. 138 00:10:34,540 --> 00:10:36,620 She must not sense weakness. 139 00:10:39,640 --> 00:10:42,020 Does my nose clean up protrusions? 140 00:10:42,940 --> 00:10:43,940 Clean enough. 141 00:10:44,160 --> 00:10:46,000 Oh, dear. 142 00:10:47,140 --> 00:10:49,340 I cannot face her like this. 143 00:10:50,700 --> 00:10:51,940 You know the switch? 144 00:10:53,180 --> 00:10:54,780 My scepter is destroyed. 145 00:10:55,600 --> 00:10:58,540 I cannot stay on my feet. 146 00:10:59,900 --> 00:11:03,040 But she doesn't have to know that, does she? 147 00:11:03,340 --> 00:11:07,100 You have a plan, Sir Dwight? More like a preliminary outline of a plan. 148 00:11:07,380 --> 00:11:08,380 Stay back! 149 00:11:08,800 --> 00:11:09,800 But we're going with it. 150 00:11:10,900 --> 00:11:15,080 You may not have my finger. It belongs to me. 151 00:11:17,120 --> 00:11:18,640 Don't you think you're being a little bit selfish? 152 00:11:19,160 --> 00:11:20,560 Honestly, such a fuss. 153 00:11:24,400 --> 00:11:25,400 Exola! 154 00:11:29,620 --> 00:11:31,860 I beg your pardon, ancient hag. 155 00:11:32,380 --> 00:11:33,380 I mistook you for another. 156 00:11:35,020 --> 00:11:39,980 And yet, there is something familiar. 157 00:11:40,680 --> 00:11:47,620 Are you perhaps the great, great, great grandmother of a witch 158 00:11:47,620 --> 00:11:48,900 named Hexala? 159 00:11:51,600 --> 00:11:58,340 Are you perhaps the fat, fat, obesely fat twin 160 00:11:58,340 --> 00:12:00,840 brother of a second -rate magician named Baldrick? 161 00:12:04,689 --> 00:12:09,110 Hexala. The years have been unkind to you. 162 00:12:09,330 --> 00:12:12,070 And the porridge has been unkind to you. 163 00:12:14,030 --> 00:12:18,250 We have come for the princess. 164 00:12:18,650 --> 00:12:19,650 We? 165 00:12:20,630 --> 00:12:23,830 By which I mean myself. 166 00:12:25,190 --> 00:12:30,650 Hello. For I have... Come on, come on. The valor... 167 00:12:31,020 --> 00:12:32,100 Of a dozen men. 168 00:12:34,200 --> 00:12:35,200 Baldwin, stop. 169 00:12:36,120 --> 00:12:39,420 All I need is a single bone from a princess. 170 00:12:39,740 --> 00:12:43,640 The smallest of her single bones will suffice, and then I shall return her to 171 00:12:43,640 --> 00:12:45,280 you unharmed. 172 00:12:45,960 --> 00:12:50,340 Unharmed? You shall not take a hair of her head. 173 00:12:50,860 --> 00:12:51,880 Oh, how funny. 174 00:12:52,460 --> 00:12:57,040 Actually, the prime elixir does go for a lock of hair from a maiden's head, so 175 00:12:57,040 --> 00:12:58,400 thank you. 176 00:13:02,320 --> 00:13:06,120 You cannot have Princess Greta's bones. 177 00:13:07,240 --> 00:13:09,180 Not even a finger. 178 00:13:09,520 --> 00:13:10,620 Big. Big. 179 00:13:11,460 --> 00:13:14,160 You don't look that bad. 180 00:13:14,760 --> 00:13:17,720 You just look experienced. 181 00:13:18,720 --> 00:13:20,700 And you look well fed. 182 00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:28,660 Hexler, I will not stand for this. Oh, dear. 183 00:13:49,260 --> 00:13:55,060 still alive and well under all that girth. And I'm delighted to know that 184 00:13:55,060 --> 00:14:01,040 witch is still as skilled as ever under all those wrinkles. 185 00:14:03,040 --> 00:14:05,260 And who are you two? 186 00:14:05,900 --> 00:14:10,960 You are in the presence of Prince Clawdwig, the... Never mind, I don't 187 00:14:12,700 --> 00:14:18,620 Whether you care or not, I am Prince Clawdwig, the unstable, and this... 188 00:14:19,020 --> 00:14:21,800 Is Serge White champion to the princess? 189 00:14:22,260 --> 00:14:27,040 Champion? This soft, rising mound of bread dough? 190 00:14:27,340 --> 00:14:28,460 The very same. 191 00:14:28,980 --> 00:14:31,440 This porcelain chamber part? Enough! 192 00:14:31,900 --> 00:14:36,520 Release me or Serge White will snap your frail bones one by one. 193 00:14:37,140 --> 00:14:39,440 I'm not going to do that. Come, brother. 194 00:14:52,650 --> 00:14:53,890 Do something useful. 195 00:14:56,030 --> 00:15:01,990 My aching bones. You monster. It'll wear off. 196 00:15:02,690 --> 00:15:04,210 Fuss, fuss, fuss, fuss. 197 00:15:05,170 --> 00:15:10,170 You have no idea how far I've traveled to get here. 198 00:15:10,370 --> 00:15:12,910 And every mile shows on your face. 199 00:15:13,410 --> 00:15:18,090 Such a scene over nothing. The finger will grow back. 200 00:15:18,390 --> 00:15:20,670 Except that fingers don't grow back. 201 00:15:20,890 --> 00:15:22,270 And that's my fault? 202 00:15:35,470 --> 00:15:35,989 you cooking? 203 00:15:35,990 --> 00:15:37,670 It's my prime elixir. 204 00:15:37,930 --> 00:15:40,810 It will return me to my physical peak. 205 00:15:42,070 --> 00:15:43,070 Really? 206 00:15:43,830 --> 00:15:46,070 How does that work? Oh, stand back, Timberpot! 207 00:15:46,310 --> 00:15:47,470 You'll ruin the recipe! 208 00:15:49,170 --> 00:15:55,070 I didn't touch it. If a hair or an eyelash or even a fleck of your skin 209 00:15:55,070 --> 00:15:57,450 into the cauldron, the whole thing will turn just black! 210 00:16:04,780 --> 00:16:05,780 Excella! 211 00:16:06,600 --> 00:16:08,500 Excella! Don't! 212 00:16:12,280 --> 00:16:15,360 You picked the wrong princess! 213 00:16:15,900 --> 00:16:17,600 Excuse me? What? 214 00:16:19,120 --> 00:16:21,000 Your soup's bubbling. 215 00:16:21,260 --> 00:16:22,840 And I'm going to spit in it. 216 00:16:23,220 --> 00:16:25,740 No! Then drop the cleaver. Don't! 217 00:16:27,440 --> 00:16:28,440 Don't! 218 00:16:29,860 --> 00:16:31,960 Now what, chain bug pot? 219 00:16:32,260 --> 00:16:34,000 You have my elixir. 220 00:16:41,290 --> 00:16:44,310 We trade. The Alexa needs the princess's bones. 221 00:16:44,590 --> 00:16:46,150 Well, the princess needs the princess's bones. 222 00:16:48,810 --> 00:16:49,810 Baldrick. 223 00:16:50,590 --> 00:16:53,490 Please. For old time's sake. 224 00:16:53,810 --> 00:16:56,270 You wouldn't leave me looking like this. 225 00:16:59,770 --> 00:17:02,650 Loose your spittle, Sir Dwight. No! 226 00:17:03,230 --> 00:17:04,230 Stop! 227 00:17:06,050 --> 00:17:10,109 It seems we've arrived at an impact. 228 00:17:16,030 --> 00:17:18,050 Perhaps. Perhaps not. 229 00:17:18,490 --> 00:17:20,030 Come on, man. That's a person. 230 00:17:20,630 --> 00:17:22,369 There is another way. 231 00:17:24,869 --> 00:17:27,310 You have another princess? 232 00:17:28,050 --> 00:17:29,050 No. 233 00:17:29,390 --> 00:17:32,590 I have princess bones. 234 00:17:37,970 --> 00:17:39,350 Don't worry, buddy. Hang in there. 235 00:17:39,770 --> 00:17:40,770 I got you. 236 00:17:43,460 --> 00:17:46,520 No, no, not there. Not on him. Nope, nope. 237 00:17:48,340 --> 00:17:50,180 It's starting to count. 238 00:17:50,680 --> 00:17:53,520 I'll give that magician of yours one minute more. 239 00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:56,060 How far is the royal vault? 240 00:17:56,420 --> 00:17:57,420 South tower. 241 00:17:57,640 --> 00:17:58,539 Not far. 242 00:17:58,540 --> 00:18:01,140 I have been excessively generous. 243 00:18:01,740 --> 00:18:04,240 I wouldn't say excessively. 244 00:18:04,440 --> 00:18:05,440 Or generous. 245 00:18:06,240 --> 00:18:07,720 Now it's your turn. 246 00:18:09,140 --> 00:18:10,540 Choose a finger, princess! 247 00:18:13,410 --> 00:18:14,850 Wait, no, please leave, Conway! 248 00:18:15,810 --> 00:18:16,810 Out of this! 249 00:18:20,330 --> 00:18:21,330 I've got them! 250 00:18:23,790 --> 00:18:24,990 Quickly! Quickly! 251 00:18:32,290 --> 00:18:33,290 It's okay. 252 00:18:33,510 --> 00:18:34,510 It's okay, boy. 253 00:18:35,310 --> 00:18:36,310 What are these? 254 00:18:36,450 --> 00:18:38,390 Teeth. Whose teeth? 255 00:18:38,710 --> 00:18:41,270 Your teeth from when you were a baby. 256 00:18:45,520 --> 00:18:47,220 All of our butts off of Clodwig. 257 00:18:47,780 --> 00:18:48,780 Please? 258 00:18:49,940 --> 00:18:51,680 You kept my baby teeth? 259 00:18:52,660 --> 00:18:53,820 Aren't they adorable? 260 00:18:54,580 --> 00:18:56,760 How quickly the years have flown. 261 00:18:57,240 --> 00:19:00,460 Each little tooth brings back a precious memory. 262 00:19:17,290 --> 00:19:18,290 To my help. 263 00:19:31,310 --> 00:19:32,310 Now, 264 00:19:35,250 --> 00:19:38,790 Hexalo, remember, I made no assurance this would work. 265 00:19:47,080 --> 00:19:52,620 this happening probably food poisoning she was kind of asking for it 266 00:19:52,620 --> 00:19:58,180 excellent 267 00:20:36,840 --> 00:20:39,240 are just as I remember you. 268 00:20:39,800 --> 00:20:42,040 And yours, darling, as ever. 269 00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:45,200 Baldrick. 270 00:20:50,740 --> 00:20:52,720 I'm like some symphony. 271 00:20:53,560 --> 00:20:54,560 Cool. 272 00:20:57,180 --> 00:20:58,840 You've changed, Baldrick. 273 00:20:59,200 --> 00:21:01,920 A pound or two, a few gray hairs. 274 00:21:02,260 --> 00:21:03,260 Oh, it's not that. 275 00:21:03,360 --> 00:21:04,620 You're as handsome as ever. 276 00:21:05,480 --> 00:21:07,950 True. That little girl of yours. 277 00:21:08,510 --> 00:21:10,850 She changed you. 278 00:21:11,870 --> 00:21:17,110 Where will you go now? 279 00:21:17,710 --> 00:21:20,750 This is not the world we knew. 280 00:21:21,070 --> 00:21:22,330 Don't worry about me, love. 281 00:21:24,030 --> 00:21:25,430 I can take care of myself. 282 00:21:26,730 --> 00:21:27,730 Indeed. 283 00:21:33,610 --> 00:21:34,610 Hey! 284 00:21:36,380 --> 00:21:37,219 Try, nut job. 285 00:21:37,220 --> 00:21:38,220 Take the pot. 286 00:21:40,360 --> 00:21:41,460 Almost lost you, buddy. 287 00:21:50,960 --> 00:21:52,780 That is a whole lot of turnip pie. 288 00:21:53,800 --> 00:21:55,500 Well, we have much to celebrate. 289 00:21:55,840 --> 00:21:58,000 Princess Greta is safe and sound. 290 00:21:58,220 --> 00:22:01,220 A most fortunate thing you kept my baby teeth all these years. 291 00:22:01,620 --> 00:22:03,540 Fortunate and a little weird. 292 00:22:04,250 --> 00:22:07,490 Mummy had my baby teeth sewn into a little pocket in her girdle. 293 00:22:07,710 --> 00:22:10,730 That way she would always have little pieces of her baby with her. 294 00:22:15,050 --> 00:22:16,170 Good to have you back, bro. 19191

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