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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:25,640 --> 00:00:26,640 Hello? 2 00:01:00,480 --> 00:01:03,480 Okay, so about a thousand years ago, there was this princess, Greta. 3 00:01:03,720 --> 00:01:07,360 And she was in big trouble, because she had lots of enemies and not a lot of 4 00:01:07,360 --> 00:01:08,360 friends. 5 00:01:09,340 --> 00:01:12,700 So her court magician, Baldrick, cast the Champion Spell. 6 00:01:13,140 --> 00:01:16,180 It put everyone in the woods to sleep until a champion would come, break the 7 00:01:16,180 --> 00:01:18,460 spell with his kiss, and deal with Greta's big scary enemies. 8 00:01:18,760 --> 00:01:20,820 But that guy never showed up. 9 00:01:21,180 --> 00:01:24,240 Instead, they got me. 10 00:01:51,150 --> 00:01:52,330 It's in my happy place. 11 00:01:54,310 --> 00:01:55,310 Here. 12 00:02:01,110 --> 00:02:02,110 Lead on. 13 00:02:02,410 --> 00:02:05,030 It's a beautiful thing you're doing, Greta. It will be. 14 00:02:05,350 --> 00:02:08,509 With the proper depth of water and a healthy cover of moss. 15 00:02:08,789 --> 00:02:11,770 What? And the right creatures lurking beneath the surface. 16 00:02:12,590 --> 00:02:15,710 The surface of what? 17 00:02:15,950 --> 00:02:17,450 Hey, Dwight. Hello. 18 00:02:18,150 --> 00:02:19,150 Hey, 19 00:02:19,530 --> 00:02:20,530 Sophie. 20 00:02:21,390 --> 00:02:24,590 Where's Biscuit? He just went home with his forever family. 21 00:02:26,850 --> 00:02:28,290 Cocoa Puff has a buddy. 22 00:02:28,790 --> 00:02:31,150 Oh, hey, guys. 23 00:02:32,270 --> 00:02:33,350 How are you doing? 24 00:02:33,610 --> 00:02:35,830 I have someone that wants to say hello. 25 00:02:37,450 --> 00:02:38,850 There you go. 26 00:02:44,310 --> 00:02:45,310 Right? 27 00:02:45,950 --> 00:02:46,950 Hey, 28 00:02:47,330 --> 00:02:48,950 kid. Oh, morning, Linda. 29 00:02:49,500 --> 00:02:51,240 Greta, this is Linda, the shelter director. 30 00:02:51,540 --> 00:02:55,220 Greta here is looking for the perfect animal to fill that hole in her heart. 31 00:02:55,640 --> 00:02:57,520 Something ferocious and terrifying. 32 00:02:58,780 --> 00:02:59,780 Pardon? 33 00:03:00,060 --> 00:03:02,160 Where do you keep the vicious creatures? 34 00:03:09,820 --> 00:03:16,020 You said you wanted a pet. An animal, or several, a dozen, 35 00:03:16,160 --> 00:03:21,000 to infect... the moat and to strike terror and awe into the hearts of any 36 00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:27,480 invaders oh wow this is an animal shelter a 37 00:03:27,480 --> 00:03:32,760 place where normal non -lunatics come to adopt a pet to what purpose i want to 38 00:03:32,760 --> 00:03:36,280 get homeless animals off the street for one that is a feat that could easily be 39 00:03:36,280 --> 00:03:42,680 accomplished by making a very large stew no no we are not having this 40 00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:45,060 conversation not in my happy place 41 00:03:48,300 --> 00:03:50,240 You got a call about this little guy. 42 00:03:50,860 --> 00:03:53,180 He wandered in from the woods last night. 43 00:04:26,570 --> 00:04:31,130 I shouldn't have left him behind, Baldr. My courage failed me, and now... Oh, 44 00:04:31,150 --> 00:04:32,150 poor Sir Dwight. 45 00:04:32,670 --> 00:04:34,550 Hey, guys. Sir Dwight! 46 00:04:35,430 --> 00:04:37,310 You are not dead. 47 00:04:37,730 --> 00:04:39,190 How did you escape? 48 00:04:43,470 --> 00:04:49,310 It has been an honor to serve you, Your Highness. 49 00:05:00,840 --> 00:05:03,060 You don't mean to house that demon. 50 00:05:03,440 --> 00:05:07,160 Well, I wish, but Nana has a dander sensitivity, so I'll just be the foster 51 00:05:10,080 --> 00:05:11,080 Shambaraki. 52 00:05:11,840 --> 00:05:12,840 Rashabar! 53 00:05:17,760 --> 00:05:18,760 Confound it! 54 00:05:23,920 --> 00:05:25,480 Aren't you a cute little peanut? 55 00:05:30,120 --> 00:05:31,620 That is no peanut, Sir Dwight. 56 00:05:32,020 --> 00:05:33,020 Tis a varger. 57 00:05:37,640 --> 00:05:40,480 Well, I'm going to go to the pet store and get some puppy supplies. You guys 58 00:05:40,480 --> 00:05:43,000 want to come, or are you too busy with your crazies? 59 00:05:48,900 --> 00:05:53,900 It was this same varger that devoured my great -uncle Grimbold and developed a 60 00:05:53,900 --> 00:05:57,600 lust for royal flesh that caused it to hunt my family for three generations. 61 00:05:58,200 --> 00:06:00,380 I saw it devour four men in one day. 62 00:06:01,280 --> 00:06:04,600 This is a baby dog, not a vargle. 63 00:06:05,700 --> 00:06:09,320 Vargr, it takes this shape only to lure fools to their deaths. 64 00:06:10,940 --> 00:06:12,160 Well, I'm no fool. 65 00:06:15,460 --> 00:06:21,620 Hail Gamekeeper. 66 00:06:22,200 --> 00:06:27,180 We require creatures of... defense. 67 00:06:29,289 --> 00:06:34,150 Sorry? To repel invaders, our moat is near completion. 68 00:06:36,750 --> 00:06:41,850 It's for a water feature at their house. 69 00:06:49,730 --> 00:06:54,230 Sir Dwight, you must believe me. This demon will split you from knave to chop. 70 00:06:54,390 --> 00:06:58,350 From what to what? I watched with my own eyes as it breached the castle wall. 71 00:06:58,760 --> 00:07:02,180 It tore apart every man that dared to stand against it or was so unlucky to 72 00:07:02,180 --> 00:07:03,180 stand in its path. 73 00:07:04,140 --> 00:07:05,760 Why aren't you listening to me? 74 00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:07,220 Large creatures. 75 00:07:07,720 --> 00:07:10,840 Well, we have koi. Oh. 76 00:07:11,760 --> 00:07:13,820 They can get to be good -sized. 77 00:07:15,160 --> 00:07:16,300 Are they stalwart? 78 00:07:16,780 --> 00:07:17,780 Stal -what? 79 00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:19,840 Do they run at the first sign of danger? 80 00:07:20,620 --> 00:07:23,420 They kind of just stay in their pond. 81 00:07:27,440 --> 00:07:29,320 I can still hear their anguish screams. 82 00:07:29,660 --> 00:07:32,080 I couldn't save them. I couldn't save myself. 83 00:07:32,840 --> 00:07:35,260 Baldrick's magic was the only thing preserving our lives. 84 00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:44,020 What are you getting into, you little troublemaker? 85 00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:46,540 You are so cute. 86 00:07:47,060 --> 00:07:49,400 Are they ferocious? 87 00:07:49,820 --> 00:07:52,000 Well, they can be territorial. 88 00:07:54,720 --> 00:07:55,920 Just so. 89 00:08:20,119 --> 00:08:24,620 Make haste. I must release the koi from these bags within the hour. You guys 90 00:08:24,620 --> 00:08:27,980 take care of that. I'm going to take Peanut to the dog park. He will tear you 91 00:08:27,980 --> 00:08:28,980 limb from joint. 92 00:08:29,180 --> 00:08:31,380 Don't you do that. Don't you tear me limb from joint. 93 00:08:31,600 --> 00:08:32,980 I'll protect you if I can. 94 00:08:33,520 --> 00:08:34,520 No, Highness. 95 00:08:35,299 --> 00:08:38,480 Leave him to his folly. I fear that's what the creature wants. 96 00:08:38,799 --> 00:08:41,620 To strike when Sir Dwight is alone and helpless. 97 00:08:43,400 --> 00:08:45,020 I owe him this much, Baldrick. 98 00:08:45,300 --> 00:08:49,340 See to the koi if we haven't returned in... Like a half hour -ish? 99 00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:51,340 You may rightly assume the worst. 100 00:08:52,040 --> 00:08:55,680 Your best chance is to make your escape while it devours Sir Dwight. 101 00:08:59,960 --> 00:09:00,960 Okay. 102 00:09:07,440 --> 00:09:10,560 Come, let's get you home before you become enraged. 103 00:09:15,360 --> 00:09:16,360 Hi there. 104 00:09:16,680 --> 00:09:17,740 Who are you here with? 105 00:09:18,220 --> 00:09:19,360 The pig -headed one. 106 00:09:20,940 --> 00:09:23,260 Oh, what a cutie. 107 00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:26,020 He has no idea what he's playing with. 108 00:09:26,240 --> 00:09:29,500 My little guy's not the brightest bulb either, but we don't love them for their 109 00:09:29,500 --> 00:09:31,420 brains, do we? Indeed we do not. 110 00:09:34,320 --> 00:09:35,400 Is he a rescue? 111 00:09:36,600 --> 00:09:40,300 Hardly the rescue I imagined, but fate has a wicked sense of humor. 112 00:09:40,780 --> 00:09:43,680 Rufus! Get your nose out of that! 113 00:09:49,200 --> 00:09:50,019 Check this. 114 00:09:50,020 --> 00:09:51,180 Peanut is so smart. 115 00:09:51,380 --> 00:09:55,800 The key is understanding pack mentality and asserting yourself as the alpha. A 116 00:09:55,800 --> 00:09:57,840 dog that knows its place in a pack is a happy dog. 117 00:09:58,640 --> 00:09:59,880 Peanut, sit. 118 00:10:01,560 --> 00:10:02,560 Sit. 119 00:10:04,080 --> 00:10:05,019 Good boy. 120 00:10:05,020 --> 00:10:06,020 Now fetch. 121 00:10:09,760 --> 00:10:12,020 He is playing you like a fife. 122 00:10:13,600 --> 00:10:15,040 Okay, you're not a dog person. 123 00:10:15,700 --> 00:10:16,700 Look, I get it. 124 00:10:17,040 --> 00:10:18,820 You had some bad experiences in your younger life. 125 00:10:19,400 --> 00:10:24,440 That's okay. No judgment. I firmly believe that everybody, even the most 126 00:10:24,440 --> 00:10:27,060 insensitive jerk I've ever known, has an animal soulmate. 127 00:10:58,860 --> 00:11:01,240 Sure come along with your improvements. 128 00:11:01,800 --> 00:11:05,880 Should your lands come under attack, you may take refuge within. 129 00:11:07,700 --> 00:11:08,700 Cool. 130 00:11:09,280 --> 00:11:11,600 Well, it's great to see the neighborhood getting some character. 131 00:11:11,820 --> 00:11:12,820 Have a great day. 132 00:11:13,620 --> 00:11:15,520 I heard about these guys on Nat Geo. 133 00:11:15,880 --> 00:11:17,640 They're called Preppers. Preppers. 134 00:11:17,920 --> 00:11:18,920 Preppers. 135 00:11:21,320 --> 00:11:23,940 Highness, are you unscathed? 136 00:11:24,320 --> 00:11:26,860 And your champion? 137 00:11:43,300 --> 00:11:44,660 Still in one piece. 138 00:11:45,440 --> 00:11:46,460 He's so sweet. 139 00:11:47,220 --> 00:11:49,880 The demon bides its time. 140 00:12:03,900 --> 00:12:05,620 Hi there. Are you Dwight? 141 00:12:06,080 --> 00:12:08,900 You must be the Mitchells. Yes. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. 142 00:12:09,600 --> 00:12:12,940 We are looking for a puppy brother. Oh, come on by and meet Peanut. 143 00:12:13,280 --> 00:12:14,280 Come on, buddy. 144 00:12:14,820 --> 00:12:16,080 Come on, Peanut. Hold! 145 00:12:17,240 --> 00:12:18,300 Not the child! 146 00:12:19,740 --> 00:12:21,940 Save yourself, you beefwits! 147 00:12:31,380 --> 00:12:37,220 Don't worry about it. They're just rehearsing for the revenge of... 148 00:12:39,080 --> 00:12:40,080 Joan of Arc. 149 00:12:41,700 --> 00:12:42,700 Uh -huh. 150 00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:45,760 He's a sweet little guy and so trainable. 151 00:12:46,500 --> 00:12:47,500 Peanut. 152 00:12:49,380 --> 00:12:50,380 Watch. 153 00:12:51,260 --> 00:12:52,260 Watch. 154 00:12:55,120 --> 00:12:56,120 Sit. 155 00:12:56,960 --> 00:12:58,140 Good boy. 156 00:12:58,740 --> 00:12:59,740 Good boy. 157 00:13:01,260 --> 00:13:04,020 And I've only been working with him for an afternoon. That's awesome. 158 00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:05,600 What are you asking for? 159 00:13:05,760 --> 00:13:08,400 Well, first you'll need to fill out an application form with Linda at the 160 00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:10,040 shelter. She'll want to do a full home inspection. 161 00:13:10,540 --> 00:13:11,540 Okay. 162 00:13:22,460 --> 00:13:23,820 Baldrick, I can't watch. 163 00:13:25,960 --> 00:13:26,960 Look away, child. 164 00:13:34,090 --> 00:13:35,370 It's moments like these, right? 165 00:13:37,530 --> 00:13:39,030 Got some weird neighbors, Dwight. 166 00:13:44,750 --> 00:13:45,750 Hey, 167 00:13:46,590 --> 00:13:48,150 Greta. 168 00:13:51,310 --> 00:13:52,410 You busy? 169 00:13:52,890 --> 00:13:53,890 What's the myth? 170 00:13:53,950 --> 00:13:57,250 Nothing. Everything's totally not a myth. 171 00:13:57,610 --> 00:13:59,510 Just wondering if you've seen Peanut. 172 00:14:01,989 --> 00:14:04,890 He got out of his crate somehow. Nana's checking up that way. 173 00:14:07,930 --> 00:14:09,670 Wow, you got a belt. To the keep! 174 00:14:09,930 --> 00:14:11,910 He's probably just off chasing squirrels. 175 00:14:12,330 --> 00:14:13,330 Arm the battlement! 176 00:14:13,870 --> 00:14:16,690 Come on! You don't throw axes. 177 00:14:24,990 --> 00:14:27,450 When did you put that in? 178 00:14:29,010 --> 00:14:30,650 The entrances are barred, Highness. 179 00:14:31,260 --> 00:14:32,179 What is the alarm? 180 00:14:32,180 --> 00:14:33,180 Tell him. 181 00:14:33,540 --> 00:14:34,540 Peanut got out. 182 00:14:36,340 --> 00:14:37,620 Boil the animal fat. 183 00:14:37,940 --> 00:14:38,940 Ew. 184 00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:40,480 Fortify the posture. 185 00:14:43,460 --> 00:14:44,860 Let me die well. 186 00:14:46,900 --> 00:14:49,160 Whatever, Braveheart. I'm gonna go find my dog. 187 00:14:51,720 --> 00:14:52,720 Too late. 188 00:14:53,880 --> 00:14:58,940 It's just a power outage. I have a flashlight on my... Where's my phone? 189 00:14:59,240 --> 00:15:00,320 The Varger has come. 190 00:15:10,030 --> 00:15:10,949 They're in parts. 191 00:15:10,950 --> 00:15:11,950 The what parts? 192 00:15:12,190 --> 00:15:13,190 Outside. 193 00:15:17,690 --> 00:15:21,270 What was that? 194 00:15:44,080 --> 00:15:45,240 past the koi. 195 00:15:46,020 --> 00:15:47,060 Outside. 196 00:15:48,220 --> 00:15:51,240 No! Guys, seriously? 197 00:15:51,620 --> 00:15:57,840 He's just a cute little... Puppy dog? 198 00:15:59,740 --> 00:16:00,780 Oh. 199 00:16:06,680 --> 00:16:10,700 Hey! Good boy! 200 00:16:26,060 --> 00:16:27,060 you'd like to know. 201 00:17:35,880 --> 00:17:36,880 What are you doing? 202 00:18:42,760 --> 00:18:43,760 I think it's wounded. 203 00:18:44,420 --> 00:18:45,420 What? 204 00:18:47,640 --> 00:18:48,640 Oh. 205 00:18:50,380 --> 00:18:52,920 Poor little demon beast. 206 00:19:00,520 --> 00:19:01,520 That's the pack. 207 00:19:02,140 --> 00:19:03,500 I think they're calling it home. 208 00:19:04,520 --> 00:19:06,060 There's a whole pack of those things? 209 00:19:06,860 --> 00:19:10,060 They keep mostly to the woods, but that little one has been hunting us for 210 00:19:10,060 --> 00:19:11,060 years. 211 00:19:17,120 --> 00:19:22,580 Listen, if you ever tell me that my puppy is a... a... a... a... a... a... 212 00:19:22,580 --> 00:19:27,200 A varger? That, I promise I'll take your word for it. 213 00:19:40,900 --> 00:19:42,340 Tis I, you fool! 214 00:19:42,840 --> 00:19:43,840 Baldrick! 215 00:19:44,750 --> 00:19:49,170 I beg your pardon. I meant to say to thy, you fool, and your hymen. 216 00:19:57,090 --> 00:19:58,570 Oh, Drake, I got you. 217 00:19:59,750 --> 00:20:01,270 Oh, you're all right. 218 00:20:03,830 --> 00:20:07,910 I am pleased that neither the Vargr nor the Fall from the Ramparts have killed 219 00:20:07,910 --> 00:20:13,150 you. And I am relieved to have done my duty in keeping you alive yet another 220 00:20:13,150 --> 00:20:14,150 day. 221 00:20:19,790 --> 00:20:20,790 Do you guys ever hug? 222 00:20:24,210 --> 00:20:26,570 That is enough excitement for one night. In you go. 223 00:20:27,050 --> 00:20:28,890 You have peasant school in the morning. 224 00:20:52,620 --> 00:20:53,720 Maybe you're more of a cat person. 225 00:20:56,120 --> 00:20:57,860 Or a chinchilla, maybe. 226 00:21:02,480 --> 00:21:03,480 What was that? 227 00:21:09,800 --> 00:21:11,780 Good morning, brother. 228 00:21:12,680 --> 00:21:17,140 Hey, buddy. Wow, but what are you doing here? 229 00:21:17,620 --> 00:21:18,880 What is he doing here? 230 00:21:19,230 --> 00:21:23,510 Princess Greta was kind enough to offer me lodging in her hermit hut. 231 00:21:24,470 --> 00:21:25,750 You mean the bike shed. 232 00:21:26,810 --> 00:21:28,890 So, you live here now? 233 00:21:29,170 --> 00:21:30,250 You're okay with that? 234 00:21:30,550 --> 00:21:31,850 It's the least I could do. 235 00:21:32,090 --> 00:21:34,530 He's my cousin, after all. He's your... wait. 236 00:21:35,310 --> 00:21:36,970 What? Ew. 237 00:21:37,310 --> 00:21:41,210 And, as Mommy always says, blood is thicker than water. 238 00:21:42,350 --> 00:21:43,510 Quite a bit thicker. 239 00:22:00,040 --> 00:22:01,700 How soon until they are ready to fight? 240 00:22:02,720 --> 00:22:03,760 Soon, Highness. 241 00:22:09,340 --> 00:22:12,960 Then, let our foe tremble. 16432