Original subtitles

Captioning made possible by Turner entertainment group

and U.S. department of education

Dexter: Oh, look. It is Mr. Jones.

Here comes Mr. Jones out of his attractive suburban home.

Mr. Jones gets into his urban terrain vehicle.

The payments are sky-high, but, boy, oh, boy,

does Mr. Jones sure look sharp in it.

Driving to work is a breeze today.

It is as if Mr. Jones has the road all to himself.

Mr. Jones turns the corner in his high-priced u.T.V.

To meet up with the 100-foot tall terror to mankind

made entirely of cheese.

It is gorgonzilla!

[Roar]

Gorgonzilla quickly snatches up Mr. Jones.

Aha! Using his cell phone,

he puts in a call to the only person who can save him now:

Dexter, boy genius.

"Help, Dexter! Help!" Cries Mr. Jones.

Dexter, heeding the call, Springs into action.

Grabbing his trusty wrench, he--what the--

Dee Dee: Aaaaaahh! Shiitake! Hah!

Aaaaaaaaaahhhh!

[Crash]

Ow. Hey, Dee Dee, what was that?

That was free judo lesson number 5.

[Gong rings]

Free or not,

I do not think

that was very nice.

Oh, I'm sorry, Dexter.

Here, let me help you up.

Oh, thank you.

That would be very--

aaaaaahh! Shiitake! Hah!

Aaaaaaahhhh!

[Crash]

Dee Dee!

Once again, free judo lesson number 5.

[Gong rings]

Stupid Dee Dee and her stupid judo lessons.

I'll give her a lesson; A lesson right in her--

aaaaaahh! Shiitake! Hah!

Yaaaaaaahhh!

[Crash]

Oh...

[Gong rings]

Dee Dee: Aaaaaahh! Shiitake! Hah!

[Dexter screaming]

[Crash]

[Gong rings]

Aaaaaahh! Shiitake! Hah!

Aaaaaahh! Shiitake!

Aaaaaahhhh!

Aaaaaahh! Shiitake!

Hah!

Hah!

Oh...

[Gong rings]

[Bell rings]

Aha!

Whew.

Dee Dee: Aaaaaahh! Shiitake!

Who--what--where--

Dee Dee: Hah!

Aaaaaahhhh!

That does it. Time to fight fire with fire!

Oh, woe is me. It is I, Dexter, boy genius,

walking down the hall alone and oh, so vulnerable.

I sure hope Dee Dee is not around the corner

to apply her free judo lesson number 5

to my weak and frail person.

Aaaaaahh! Shiitake!

Hah!

Eeeeeehhhh!

[Crash]

W-Was that...

Free judo lesson number 5.

[Gong rings]

Taught by master Smith...

In the small building on main street...

The one with the green door...

Across from the bus station...

Next to the chub e. Cheese...

Under the freeway overpass...

In the old neighborhood?

The same.

Oh... Oh...

[Gong rings]

Hah!

Hah!

Aaaaaahh! Shiitake!

Aaaaaahh! Shiitake!

[Both shouting "hah!"]

Both: Aaaaaahh! Shiitake!

Dad: Just what is going on here?

Just look at this mess!

I am sure that when your mother gets home,

she's gonna give you--

aaaaaahh! Shiitake! Hah!

[Crash]

Free judo lesson number 5.

[Gong rings]

Taught by master Smith...

In the small building on main street...

The one with the green door...

Across from the bus station...

Next to the chub e. Cheese...

Under the freeway overpass...

Both: In the old neighborhood?

The same.

Oh... Oh... Oh...

Oh. Owww.

Ahh.

[Romantic music]

Ahh.

[Deep breath] Ahh.

[Bell rings]

[Bell rings]

Ahhhh.

Ahh.

Merriweather Monroe doesn't even know you exist, Dexter.

Of course she does. She's crazy about me.

Oh, really?

Do not tell me you do not notice

the way she gawks at me on the bus every day...

Must have missed that.

The way she bats her eyes and flips her hair...

Ha ha ha! She's smitten.

Yeah. Uh-huh.

Tell me something, Dexter.

Why don't you...

You know, actually say something to her?

Uh--ha ha ha!

Well, you know how it is, uh...

Just waiting for the right time.

Oh, yeah, I know how it is.

Bet you don't say something to her tomorrow.

I'll take that wager.

Heh heh heh. Ahem.

Uh...ha ha!

So, m-m-merriweather, that is a very nice scarf.

It is, uh, silk, yes?

You know, I recently spliced spider-silk genes

into the mammary glands of a goat.

Girls!

I like you, Dexter.

Tell you what. I'm going to help you.

Oh, really?

Poetry.

You are cuckoo, Dee Dee. Cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo.

No, it's true. Chicks dig poetry.

You write merriweather a poem, and you're in like flint.

And how am I going to write this poem?

That's where I come in.

See, I'll write the poem for you.

All you have to do is read them to her.

I'm your ghostwriter. Get it?

Hmm.

Ahem.

Uh, you are, um...

M-M-My fair weather, my sweet, uh, merriweather.

You have my heart on a tether, my fair merriweather.

I am light as a feather, with my heart on a tether.

For you are my fair weather, my sweet merriweather.

[Romantic music]

[Music becomes upbeat]

[Burp]

Forget Jennifer and Jillian, Hailey and Heather,

for nothing compares to my fair weather merriweather.

Mmm, mmm.

Poetry. Ha! Who would have thought?

Here's one. How about this?

I look forward to sharing puke-green seats of leather

when I am riding the bus with my fair weather merriweather.

Piece of cake.

Oh, oh, wait a minute. Wait. Wait. I got one!

My sister Dee Dee-- she is a real sweetie,

but sometimes I think she's got a brain of baked ziti.

[Laughing]

My sister Dee Dee-- her eyeballs are beady,

her hair is reedy, and her head's a bit meaty.

Ahem. All right. Uh...

My fair weather merriweather--

she is a dumb heifer

with bad skin and ugly feet to boot.

Girls.

Past the vaulted door

where impossible things may happen

that the world's never seen before.

♪ In Dexter's laboratory

♪ lives the smartest boy you've ever seen ♪

♪ but Dee Dee blows his experiments ♪

♪ to smithereens

♪ there is gloom and doom while things go boom ♪

♪ in Dexter's lab

captioning made possible by Turner entertainment group

and U.S. department of education

captioned by the national captioning institute

--www.ncicap.org--