Original subtitles

Captioning made possible by Turner entertainment group

and U.S. department of education

Dexter, voice-over: At last,

my greatest munition is completed.

Now I, Dexter the barbarian,

can set forth on my quest

to conquer the throne.

[Heartbeat]

[Grunts]

[Monsters grunting]

Looks like someone has a bone to pick.

Huh?

[All grunting]

Hyah!

[Sword clanging]

Hyah!

[Yelling]

Rock...

Ha ha ha!

And roll.

Well, this situation just got

a whole lot hairier.

[Growling]

Nice doggies.

[Dogs snarling]

How many times have I told you

to stay out of my territory?!

[Dogs growling]

[Panting]

[All whimpering]

[Roars]

[Roaring]

That's it.

You are really starting to burn me up.

Time to teach you a lesson.

Aah!

[Screaming]

I guess he got the point.

And now to conquer the throne.

[Toilet lid clanks]

[Flushing]

This is the best issue ofbarbarian comi

I can hardly wait to see how it ends.

Mom: Dexter!

Just look what you've done to this place!

[Monster grunts]

[Rock monster stomps]

[Dog barks]

[Roaring]

What's gotten into you today, young man?

Well...I'm gonna have to punish you.

Try as you might, foul demon,

but you'll be no match for...

Dexter the barbarian!

Ha ha!

Hyah!

Dexter: And presto!

Success!

So, class, as you can see

as outlined in our homework assignment,

by using only common household items--

I.e. A spare high-density lead-combustion chamber,

4 kilos of weapons cleared plutonium,

and an environmental suit--

I have miraculously created

an alternative power source for this simple alarm clock.

[Ringing]

Yes, thank you. Thank you very much.

Ahem. Uh, right.

Thank you, Dexter.

That was very, um, exaggerated.

Ok, let's see, now.

Mordecai?

Uh, yeah, well, see...

See, my mom gave me this potato,

and I hooked it up to this clock...

[Ticking]

And it works.

A potato?!

[Laughs]

You hooked your clock up to a potato?

Ha ha ha!

That is the funniest thing I have ever heard.

Hey, hey, excuse me. What time is it?

Duh. I don't know.

It's a potato.

[Laughing]

Let me see!

Mordecai, cool!

I want to see that!

Ooh! A potato?!

Whoa!

Excellent work, mordecai.

Thank you for exhibiting

a cleaner, safer, more efficient form of energy

for the class.

[Ringing]

Class dismissed.

[Children talking excitedly]

[Ticking]

This is amazing.

How could this be?

A potato...

Powering a clock?

Huh?

Nuclear power, hydroelectric and solar power,

fossil fuels, and petroleum products,

good-bye and good riddance.

My most wildly successful experiments

beg to be seduced by the raw, unbridled energy

of the rugged spud.

Just like the windmill and the electric car,

the potato will revolutionize the modern world.

Alternative energy is

this is going to be great.

[Chuckling]

Say, computer, what is going on?

Why has the potato

not powered up any of my experiments?

Hmm...

How am I going to get out of this?

"Alternative energy is the answer."

♪ One potato, 2 potato, 3 potato, 4 ♪

Bah! It is a curse, if you ask me.

Ah, you can never have too many potatoes.

Ah, ha ha!

Dexter, you are a genius!

It will take 2 potatoes

to revolutionize the modern world.

Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy.

This is going to be great.

[Chuckling]

[Muttering]

Dad: Whoa there, mister.

Where do you think you're going?

Get over here and help us put a dent in dinner.

But, dad, I am in the middle of revolutionizing

the modern world.

Well, why don't you revolutionize

your mom's world-famous potatoes instead?

Oh, dad.

Hmph!

Dee Dee: Mom, could you pass the mashed potatoes?

Dad: Dee Dee, pass the potato salad.

Mom, I can't reach the French fries.

Mm! More potato skins, honey.

Um, mom, could you pass

the potato salad?

Thank you.

[Crash]

Dad, pass the potato skins.

What do you say?

Please?

Dee Dee, more French fries.

Ha ha! Thank you.

Dad, the potato knishes, please?

Attaboy.

Look who's got an appetite all of a sudden.

Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy.

[Current fizzles]

Argh!

More potatoes. I need more potatoes.

Where am I going to get more potatoes?

How many?

300.

You want 300 jumbo fries?

300.

500 chili fries.

5,000 baked potatoes, please.

Oh, maybe 10,000, 20,000.

Whatever you got.

[Truck beeping]

I will be very surprised if this works,

but here goes.

[Machines humming]

Computer: Laboratory back at full power, Dexter.

Congratulations.

Are you sure, computer?

Yes, Dexter, I'm sure.

Great. Woo-hoo.

All rightie, then.

Hooray for alternative power sources.

Whew!

I'm not going to repeat that anytime soon.

[Rooster crows]

Mom: Honey, is that you?

[Dad snorts]

[Dad mumbles]

Computer: Low power.

Low power. Low power.

Low power.

[Sniffs]

Blecch!

My alternative energy sources--

they're rotten.

Argh!

That's it. I've had it.

I'm through.

You want a potato, I'll give you a potato.

I'm going to give you the most potatoest potato

that the world has ever seen.

Nowt mordecai.

[Alarm]

Dexter, voice-over: Just a bit more.

Ah, the core,

the world's smallest nuclear Dev--

ahem.

As I was saying, the...

Ahem.

Only the brilliant boy scientist--

Dex...ter.

[Sighs]

Grr!

As I was saying, the core,

the world's smallest nuclear Dev--

grr!

Must prevent slippage of glasses

at any cost!

These stupid glasses must be affixed to my head!

[Stapling]

Aah!

All that trouble over my weak vision,

my only physical or mental flaw.

These stupid glasses

are holding me back.

I hate them!

I vow to repair my pathetic corneas

by self-performing

my own laser surgery.

[Beeping]

Dexter, voice-over: Careful.

Ok, then. Do not move.

Perfect.

This is it.

Aah!

Now, Dexter, how many times have I told you

not to stare into the sun?

You'll burn your coronaries out.

Yes, mother.

All right, go to sleep.

I'll see you tomorrow.

[Door shuts]

[Rooster crows]

Aah!

Eyes sensitive...

To the light!

Hey, wow.

I can see right through the gauze.

I am so excited.

Slowly.

Easy.

Wow!

Everything looks so clear.

I can see way better

than with my glasses.

Oh, look,

my toy s.U.V.

Look how perfect in every detail.

So this is what it is like to have super-perfect vision.

My plant is teeming with life

I once could only see with a microscope.

Ha ha! I wonder if anyone will notice

my new eyes.

Dad, do you notice

anything different about--aah!

You got new pajamas?

U-U-Ugly.

Well, sorry.

Next time, I'll make sure

I'm showered and shaved

for his highness.

Good morning.

Breakfast.

Where's my good morning kiss?

[Smooching]

All my family's tiny flaws and imperfections

magnified a thousandfold

by my new vision.

Ugh!

Certainly we were never meant to see this clearly.

I will have to call on all my inner fortitude

to withstand the ugliness in the world

I can now see with such brutal clarity.

Quit talking to yourself and eat your breakfast.

Your favorite--

sausage and eggs.

[Buzzing]

Blecch!

What's the matter, son? Not hungry?

Oh-ho! Give it to me.

I'll eat it.

Mm...

[Burps]

Good.

Ugh!

Oh, good. Here comes your sister.

Look what I can do.

Isn't that cute?

Let me try that.

That's nothing.

Look at me.

[Raspberries]

[Screaming]

It is nice in nature, calming.

Everything is so beautiful

in the countryside--

the trees, the mountains,

the little bunny rabbit...

[Flies buzzing]

Unless you look too close,

and then things get a little ugly.

Hmm...

[Thunder]

I wonder.

If everything else is ugly,

what do I look like?

Dexter, voice-over: I must look

my reflection in the face.

Oh, no. Raindrops distorting my image.

I must see me clearly,

so I can ban it with reason.

[Raspberries]

Aah!

[Door slams]

Now, what's gotten

into Dexter?

Beats me.

Curses! Must find a mirror.

Must see how hideous I am...

Not?

I am not hideous.

Even with my height and vision,

I, Dexter--boy genius,

am still a vision of loveliness.

Ha ha ha!

All is right with the world.

Enter at your own peril, past the bolted door,

where impossible things may happen...

That the world's

never seen before.

♪ In Dexter's laboratory

♪ lives the smartest boy

♪ you've ever seen

♪ but Dee Dee blows

♪ his experiments to

♪ smithereens

♪ there is

♪ gloom and doom

♪ while things go boom

♪ in Dexter's lab

captioning made possible by Turner entertainment group

and U.S. department of education

captioned by the national captioning institute --www.Ncicap.Org--