Original subtitles

Here we are in the midst of a

high-class Spanish hidey-ho, and everything's excellenti.

In fact, it's positively esplendido.

In case somebody was climbing over you during

the main title, may I remind you that

you're now looking at one of America's most

famous historical celebrations.

It's the annual fiesta at California's sun-kissed

Santa Barbara, where men are men and women

are, well, you've got eyes, haven't you?

The purpose of this general jubilation is to

commemorate California's early period when holding a fiesta

was an old Spanish customary.

Fiestas are very popular because they always provide

a swell excuse to knock off work and

go into your dance.

And now I hear you saying, Happy, what's

a fiesta?

To which I briefly reply, fiesta is taken

from the Spanish word fiesta, which means fiesta.

Presenting Don Jose Manuel Chester Conklin.

Folks, I want you to meet the six

reasons why my dude ranch is the best

in the West.

Mary Carlisle.

Cecilia Barton.

Shirley Ross.

Rosalind Keith.

Ida Lupino.

And Colby Wing.

Ah, Eddie Lowe and Gilbert Rowland.

A capable couple of kippeting caballeros.

And here are Miss Benny Barnes and Robert

Taylor.

Robert, your bow wows me.

Gosh, I sound like an airdance.

Harpo Marx enters into the spirit of the

fiesta, while the spirits of the fiesta enter

into Harpo.

Time Marx is on!

And now, my little fiesterettes, unless these old

eyes deceive me, yonder comes Hollywood's champion bull

thrower, Andy Devine.

Andy claims a record of 4,000 bulls,

which if you ask me, is a lot

of hamburger.

Andy, tell the cash customers how you became

a toreador.

Gosh, that sounds like business.

It's Pete Smith's voice.

It is Pete Smith's voice, you mug.

Well, maybe that's the reason it sounded so

much like it.

How are you, Pete?

Okay, how are you?

Oh, all right, well, adios.

But very sudden, the spectators run away.

Oh, the mass runs ha-ha, and the

dogs say ho-ho.

Well, it must be now that the kingdom

and the prominent hero do go.

Well, toss this bullfighter on the horns of

a dilemma if it ain't Buster Keaton.

Senor Keaton, to you, my friend.

You know who I am?

Sure, sure.

Who are you?

I am the world's champion bull grower.

Bull thrower?

Ah, me too.

Shake, my friend.

No, not thrower, grower.

I breed bulls for the ring.

Say, that's pretty nice work, if you can

get it.

Irvin S.

Cobb will now explain the difference between Spanish

music and a Spanish omelet, if any.

Criticism to make of Spanish music, which I

love ordinarily, but with the exception of that

famous song dedicated to the cockroach, I have

never heard any Spanish song, however it started,

that did not wind up with something about

a dove.

It's like Hawaiian music, eh?

Defect in that is that Hawaiian singers are

always telling you goodbye, and they never go.

Joe Morrison, singing the song he made famous,

and that made him famous.

Long, long, old pal, it's time your tears

were dry.

I'm a-headin' for the lie.

Get along, little doggie, get along, get along.

Get along, little doggie, get along.

Get along, little doggie, get

along.

With his long, snow-white hat, there'll

be only...

I want you to fight one of my

bulls.

I have the most dangerous bulls in all

of Spanish Switzerland.

He say, he say who?

Española, Spain.

Oh, sissy, senor.

Don't call me sissy.

Oh, no, no.

Si, si, senor.

Yeah, that's better.

I have with me one dangerous bull.

He's so fierce, he scare himself.

Me too.

Adios, senor.

Wait.

I do you a big favor.

I let you fight my bull to prove

to these people you are the world's greatest

bullfighter.

Oh, no, no, senor.

That is not necessary.

They believe it.

Adios.

Let's see him fight.

See, these people, they demand you fight my

bull.

Okay, but remember, after this fight, I'm going

to retire, because this is the last time

I'm ever going to fight the bulls.

You telling me?

And now, hang on to your seats, folks.

Here's T-Bone, the prize porterhouse.

Tougher than a 15 cent stake.

Hello, everybody.

This is so thrilling.

And isn't Andy too, too divine?

Ouch.

Well, my friends, you're now listening to Harry

Hairlip, bringing to you the latest ringside moves.

Toreador Divine will attempt to throw the bull

in 15 seconds.

Daylight saving time.

The contestants are in fine condition.

They are both able to stand up without

any visible aid.

As they go into their corners, the crowd

hushes.

Just listen to that crowd hush.

There goes the bell.

The fighters advance to the center of the

ring.

The bull leads with a pout.

Andy retaliates with a sneer.

Hey, what is this?

It's a fake.

They're no champions, they're amateurs.

And what amateurs?

Major, give him the bell.

All right, all right.

We've just received the wire from the Santa

Barbara butchers, pledging to sell 1,000 tons

of horse meat next week.

And close by the bull arena is the

world's greatest ballerina, Senorita Maria Gambarelli.

Hola, Gary Cooper.

Que te le gusta esta bonita fiesta?

Espresso en si, espanol.

Go, Healy.

You're a dame.

You're a villain.

I've seen your picture.

How are you, shorty?

You saw me what?

I saw you in pictures.

You saw me in pictures?

Yeah, I've seen the picture called Panserbeer.

Wait a minute.

You're not shorty.

Panserbeer.

That's Wallace Beery.

My name is Ted Healy.

I'll get you, I'll get you.

Oh, yeah, I got it.

A night at the opera.

Oh, boy, you're a dame.

Wait a minute, wait a second.

Quiet down.

Are you nervous or something?

No, go ahead.

A night at the opera.

It's the Four Monks Brothers.

Oh, wait a minute now.

They're trying to pull an old-time pharaoh

deal, right?

They got an old-time pharaoh deal.

Wait a minute, son.

Go ahead.

How'd you get in here?

This is all high-class people.

You know that, don't you?

This is the Newport of the West.

How did you get in here?

Answer me a question, son.

Don't yell.

Don't.

How did you get in here, kid?

Please answer me.

Don't evade it.

How did you get in here?

On my friend's ticket.

You what?

My friend's ticket.

I'm not nervous.

On your friend's ticket, eh?

Yeah.

Where's your friend?

He's outside looking for his ticket.

Oh, he is.

He's looking for his ticket.

Yeah.

Don't yell.

Don't holler.

Don't scream at him.

Go ahead.

Wait a minute.

Tell me more.

Tell me more.

I'll get you, I'll get you.

You know me now, huh?

Yeah.

You're the guy on the radio.

Six delicious flavors.

You're the guy.

You're great.

Cut it out, will you please?

That's Jack Benny.

My name is Ted Healy.

I'm getting warm, ain't I?

Yeah, you're getting warm.

OK, OK.

Oh, wait a minute.

I got...

Never mind.

Here.

Read this.

You're not mad at me, are you?

Now, go ahead.

How old are you, kid?

23.

You're a little older.

Now, 23.

Oh, no.

Never get that dirty in 23 years.

A little older, son.

I know you.

I'll get you in a second.

Here, Mr. Healy.

May I introduce a very charming fellow.

You're OK.

You're charming, all right.

Very clever.

Sings and dances.

And I'll soon hear from you again.

I remain faithful to yours.

Sign yours truly.

Who wrote this?

I did.

You did, eh?

Yeah.

Now, don't skip with me because I'm...

Hiya, Healy.

Oh, another one.

How are you there, kid?

What's new?

Nothing.

Everything is fine.

What's that?

Oh, just a friend of mine.

Oh, yeah.

Brewster.

Hey, I forgot.

The man outside is here with your relief

ticket.

Oh, wait a minute.

Now, wait a minute.

Take it easy.

Wait a minute.

How do you like that guy?

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Maybe I fooled you, no?

I bet you think I am the big

bad wolf in the sheep's overcoat.

Poof.

You're no fool of me.

I see you moving pictures plenty too much.

I ain't no afraid of the great Leo

Carillo.

Oh!

A tough fella, eh?

Your mouth is too big for your faces.

Diablo!

Gracias, my friends.

I want you to meet the loveliest flower

of the fiesta, Senorita Adrienne M.

Now, my friends, the Carillas are here.

We're going to have a good time, eh?

I bring you one big surprise that I

kidnapped from the Hollywoods.

The first is La Cucaracha.

Nobody can forget Senorita Steffi Duna, eh?

She borrowed a burro to bring this bottle

all the way from the Hollywoods.

Sitting over there is a hombre who is

making hey-hey with the senorita while the

son she is signing, eh?

Senor Paul Pocassi.

La cucaracha, la cucaracha, ya no puede caminar

porque no tiene porque le falta but I

want to keep her more.

La cucaracha, la cucaracha, ya no puede caminar

porque no tiene porque le falta but I

want to keep her more.

Senor Paul Pocassi, if you want a hot

one, something hot, San Diego and Hoboken.

La cucaracha!

The poor little cucaracha, she's dying.

La cucaracha, la cucaracha, ya no puede

caminar porque no tiene porque le falta Marihuana.

Marihuana.

La cucaracha, la cucaracha, ya no puede caminar

porque no tiene porque le falta Marihuana.

We're going to have the real spirit

of the fiesta.

We're going to see many beautiful senoritas.

We're going to have the music and the

girls are going to dance with the cascarettes.

We're

going

to see many beautiful senoritas.