Original subtitles

And I'm feeling

Anything from the trolley.

Should be opening presents.

Anything?

Nothing. I mean, you should be miserable. Spend your 18th birthday in

Oh, what a toffee.

I can't tell anyone it's my birthday, can I?

Because I find out I lied about my age and I'll get this back.

Then I'll be maintained.

Can I interest you in anything from the trolley, sir?

Is everything OK, sir?

My wife. She's been in there a really long time. I'm just getting a bit

All right, OK. Is she feeling ill?

I don't know.

Maybe we should open up the door, find out if she's all right. OK, OK.

Hello?

Hello, is everything OK in there?

Fucking do it!

You diggy, lying little slut!

And you!

Let go!

You're supposed to be my baby! Let go!

Let go!

Let go!

Break it up! Break it up!

Calm

down,

all right?

Leave it!

Not so bad.

Mirror.

I don't have one.

Long enough.

I've got the perfect foundation. It's so good you won't even notice. That'd have

been elbowed by someone who has no business getting involved in the first

If this gentleman had not stepped in... Ed.

Ed. Ed. If Ed had not stepped in... Nah, look, she's right. It wasn't any of my

business. Well, not anymore, but I used to be crew with Fresh.

Yeah, talk first aid and passenger restraints to all the new recruits at

Leeds -Bradford base.

It's an absolute betch they closed that base.

Yeah, 70 jobs, just like that.

You either took redundancy or you transferred down south.

I mean, yeah, it sounded a bit stupid, but, you know, we were like family up

there. It doesn't sound stupid at all.

Yeah, I'll tell you what, loads of Leeds -Bradford lot are in Barcelona tonight,

a farewell piss -up.

So if you're not busy... We are so not.

All right, cool.

Yeah, that's where we'll be.

Look, sorry about that.

I cried and I prayed and you answered my prayers.

minutes ago.

You all right?

Have you signed for this?

Have you even checked with Charlie's?

Rachel, what have you been doing?

Don't tell me. Just get them done.

She could cut you some slack considering.

Considering what?

Being assaulted by a passenger is a big deal.

Fresh's idea of counselling one 20 -minute chat is a joke.

There's nothing wrong with taking some time off.

And do what? Stay at home and wait for you to get back?

Look after the kids?

I'm just... Joking.

Yes, I know.

Look, I'm not a purser anymore. All I have to do is smile and serve drinks.

even I can screw that up.

Sorry.

I'm done.

Barely. Hi there, welcome.

Hello there.

Is he okay to travel?

It's cold.

He feels a little feverish.

No, thanks, he can stand, but really it's just a sniffle.

Flying can sometimes make these things worse.

It might be an idea to catch a later flight and then recover. No, I have to

this flight.

Listen, I haven't got any...

Travel insurance. And if we don't get this flight, we'll have to sleep in the

airport. He wants to go home, don't you, Craig?

Fifth row on the left.

Poppy?

What's wrong with you? You haven't told me to hurry up. What?

I hope to God that that robe is the latest in clubbing attire, because there

no way on earth that you are not ready yet.

And what are you doing?

Hello? I do have an Adonis to meet.

I think I'll stay and have a bar.

You guys go.

I don't think so, Miss Field. I mean, what's Lorna going to do when I cop off

with Mr Gay UK?

I mean, I don't want to cramp myself, no offence, love.

Come on, hon.

Wait downstairs, fix yourself a drink. I have the answer.

Come on.

I do actually have friends, just in case you're wondering.

Ta -da!

Oh my God.

I know.

It's amazing, isn't it?

I can't wait to see Ruth's face. Then he can't be cross about the time.

Because he'll be too busy pissing himself.

Rachel, I need a second opinion.

That child looks ill.

He looked poorly before.

And you let him board?

Hi. Hi.

Your child doesn't look very well.

He's got worse.

Have a look. Do you mind?

Yeah,

he's definitely got a fever. Shall we loosen some of these layers?

You come down here.

Take your jumper off. Put your arms up for me.

There we are.

What is that?

What is it?

I'm not sure. The mother doesn't seem to know anything about it.

There's nothing we can do about it.

We were meant to call it in.

Tell them what? We've got a sick kid. The facts are secure.

If there is a possibility that it might be an infectious disease, then we need

to report it to MediLink and they'll advise us of any necessary action.

Necessary action?

Well, they'll call the Port Health Authority and we'll just have to sit

until they decide whether it's serious or not.

That's right.

Look, we're going to be landing in an hour. The kid can see a doctor. We can

go home.

I've got a party I've got to get to. We've all made plans, Jack.

You can't seriously be thinking about not reporting this.

We've taken off from North Africa. Our child is feverish with God knows what.

The mother doesn't have any answers. We need medical advice.

Thank you for that.

And if I may just remind you, if you had checked the passengers properly, we

wouldn't be in this situation.

Now, can someone please make sure that child has plenty of water and a knife

pack?

How serious is it?

I can't say for sure. It's probably nothing. Pull it in.

If you don't, I will. I will not let you fuck up my life of yet another wrong

decision. Okay, okay.

I'll tell the crew.

Owen, could you remind the crew not to mention anything to the passengers from

the ground?

I don't want things kicking over 30 ,000 feet.

I am aware of the procedure.

Can't leave you daft bint. It's your birthday.

I look like a hoe.

You look like Lorna. Ed must have left when you were getting turned into mutton

dressed as shite.

Sorry for got in the way of your plans.

So going to be the shag of the century.

Look, my friends.

Say, aren't you lot Lee Stafford? Or were?

Hi, Will.

What are you doing here apart from the obvious?

Well, we had the lovely Ed on our flight and he invited me as a long tonight.

I was worried that I missed him. You don't know.

No, what?

Oh,

my

God.

Don't worry about it. Just go with it.

Never!

Never!

Oh, you did well. Put on the

prince helmet.

What the hell is a prince helmet?

Now, don't move. You'll rip it.

Ow! Wait!

Right.

I'm going to move to my line. Right?

Quarantined until port's health authorities can assist you.

I'm sorry to announce that there will be a flight delay in disembarking due to

an unwell passenger travelling with us today. If you could please refrain from

unloading baggage from the overhead lockers until I can give you a clear

indication of how long the delay is going to be. Thank you.

Good one, Rachel.

Get lost.

I'm not joking!

Oh, Poppy, you really are a naughty girl. Save it, Will.

Don't stare, please.

Is that a ring?

Yeah, it's my Prince Albert.

You know, increased sensitivity.

Enough explanation.

Careful, Pop. He's no good to be damaged.

Sorry, mate. I'm not gay.

Look,

just because a stripper in gay clubs and a worker's an air steward, that doesn't

mean I'm into men.

But you can see how someone would make a mistake, though, right?

Yeah, yeah, sure, yeah. It's been made before. It's all right. It's no big

Hello? How are we having this conversation right now?

Well, it's not wrong.

Now, if you can't help, get out.

In fact, get out now. Come on. And probably no sudden move. Help!

Fresh 262, port's health authorities are being held up due to an unforeseen

incident. We'll keep you updated with their progress.

Fresh 262, roger that. Understood.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking.

I've just been in contact with the port health authorities who are currently

making their way towards the aircraft.

We expect them to arrive within the next three or four hours.

Unfortunately, no one is allowed off the aircraft until they've identified the

nature of the illness.

We're going to have to postpone. I'm stuck on the plane.

We've been quarantined.

I'm not joking.

No, this is not a brush -off.

I didn't want to see you. Believe me, I would tell you.

Yes, I do want to see you.

I've been looking forward to it.

I've got to go.

Bye.

Yes? Passing just a morning to get off.

Well, we all want to get off. Yeah, but it's the one with the sick kid.

You can't leave. Your son is the reason we're all stuck here. I'll take him to

the doctor myself. You don't understand. I can't stay here.

Miss Brayne, would you like to follow me to the back of the aircraft?

Rachel, can you sit with Craig while I have a word with Mum?

What do you mean?

Sit with him? Get him a drink?

The child's in distress, for God's sake. Do your job.

Miss Raine?

Miss Raine,

there is absolutely no way that you or your son are getting off the train right

now. So please, for his sake and for everybody else's, can you just calm

Maybe if you could tell me something more about the illness, it might speed

things up.

How long has he been like this?

I don't know.

Well, have any of your friends been sick?

Have you seen a doctor? Is he under any medication? I don't think so. I don't

know.

You don't know?

Just do it.

Well, that went well. They love us.

What do you think about the girl, mate?

It wasn't planned.

Oh, guys, come on, not now.

Get out.

Let's get a shower.

Oh, wait.

Poppy!

Poppy!

She's upset I can't let her go off like that. What's the show?

Sorry, mate.

If you go, you don't come back.

Oi!

I was wondering what I was going to have to do to get you to stop.

What do you want?

What are you running off for?

Being humiliated isn't how I like to spend my evenings.

Yeah, and running down the street half -naked with gold paint on isn't normally

how I ask a girl out.

You haven't asked me yet.

Want to go to dinner?

My shout, um... Tonight's tips.

I reckon I'll ask rightfully yours.

That was in your phone.

Yeah, it's dirty money.

So let's spend it.

Yeah? What do you say?

Why did you bring him home? Because poorly.

Are you going to answer me?

Anyone can see he's too sick to travel. A decent mother would have known better.

You don't know anything about me or what kind of mother I am, so why don't you

just mind your own business?

It is my business. It's all our business.

Rachel,

can you take Miss Rayleigh and her son down to the back of the aircraft away

from the other passengers?

Rachel?

We shouldn't have to go near them.

You said so yourself. We don't know what he could be infected with.

Take me to the back of the aircraft, now.

It's okay.

I'll do it.

Maybe they didn't teach you this at Goldstar, but we have a duty of care to

passengers. Their needs come before our personal concerns.

This will be going in my report, Rachel.

God only knows why you thought you were fit to become a person.

Well, I should be at a party tonight myself.

You see, there's about 30 people waiting for me to show up with duty -free booze

and fags, but it is procedure.

We have to wait here until the Port Health Authority doctor tells us we're

so... Why aren't they here, then?

They're in Dover. We've been told they're tied up with another incident.

No hurry.

Only our health at stake.

There you go.

Thank you.

Sorry about that.

My wife has recently become pregnant. How do I know this isn't going to affect

this sickness?

Sir, really, there's nothing to worry about. You're a hostess, not a doctor.

I'm not a doctor either, but I have done basic medical training. The fetus is at

its most vulnerable to infections in the first weeks of pregnancy.

Sir, we're waiting for Port Health Authority's instructions. That's no good

me. I want my wife and myself moved as far away from the carrier as possible.

The what?

The sick child.

I want seats at the front of the plane.

And the air conditioning needs to be turned off. Sir, the air conditioning

on board this plane is equipped with filters.

It removes bacteria, airborne germs... And it's no doubt regularly changed and

maintained on a budget aircraft.

Of course you should move.

I'll tell the purser about the air conditioning immediately.

Thank you.

Support me, not make me look stupid.

It's not all about you, Leanne. We're making a fair request.

What's wrong with you?

I'm being careful.

About what?

We've had our jabs.

You're pregnant.

When did you find out?

I found out this day.

Look, you've got to tell Fresh you can't keep working.

Keeping this job isn't what I'm worried about.

Are you going to keep the baby?

You and the golden boy would have been perfect together.

Best amateur drag act yet, no?

Did he just say... The best amateur shag he would like to have. Drag act?

Do I look like a bloke?

Definitely not.

Look, Poppy's not coming back. She's away with her man. I've not even got a

and you've just been called a man. Let's get out of here, eh?

Anyone want to come dancing?

Right,

what's wrong with you? You've hardly said more than two words since we left

club. It's not what that dickhead said, is it?

He called me a man.

God, I really must be dog rough.

Don't be daft. I think you make a beautiful transvestite.

Will, I'm serious.

Margo and I didn't even realise it. No wonder I haven't had a bloke since

And even he didn't give a shit.

I could be all alone forever.

Look, you don't look like a man, OK?

But... But what?

How old are you?

Twenty.

Twenty -five.

You see, I would have guessed about thirty.

You look as if you're old trying to be young or, as the man said, a bloke

to be a woman.

I enjoy make -up. Yeah, I don't mind a bit myself.

But it's what's underneath that counts. Now we've got to get all this crap off

and find the beautiful woman underneath.

No.

No. No!

What are you looking for? Hang on, I will be right back.

It's not a crime, you know.

What? What's the matter?

We're watching you campaign for the rights of topless people.

How many restaurants have we tried?

This is the ninth.

Is that a rejection record for you?

Well, no, actually. There was this one time in Rome. You were a golden boy, you

naked? Oh, I've told you this one.

I can imagine how he goes.

Take away.

How?

Oh.

I was so busy after the show with me and the boys, but... They're friends of

yours. Yeah, we all work for Fresh.

I mean, the boys used to do it at the sideline. Used to pay for the booze.

Next week, though, it's going to pay for the rent.

Then why don't you go back on stage?

There's other jobs.

But now... Don't worry about it. It's fine.

I love those hotel kitchens and open -door policy.

Lie down and take your clothes off.

Eh?

Look, it's nothing I haven't seen before.

Do you want my help or not?

This is

impossibly dull.

I don't see why the pilots should have to stay on board.

Or anyone on the flight deck, for that matter.

It's a silly rule.

The child's been nowhere near us.

So sneak off the plane.

I'm sure you've managed to get away with it.

Meaning?

Forget it.

Now, come on, get it off your chest.

We're going to be here for a stretch, so now's the perfect time.

Look, I didn't ask to be rostered with you.

I know it must be awkward after everything that's gone on, but now we're

so let's be professional and get on.

For the record, I admired what you did for your girlfriend.

A few years ago, I would have done the same thing.

Nigel. Daniel.

One more word to me about anything other than the job, and I'm going to hit you,

okay?

Don't think I wouldn't. I've got nothing left to lose.

So how come you're single then, Poppy?

Why do you ask?

Can't work it out. What do I count?

Brief history. I had a boyfriend. Dumped me.

Went to become a pilot.

Never even said goodbye.

Does that mean you think badly about him?

Or you?

Me.

What's your story?

Uh, haven't met the right girl.

Maybe I have.

I haven't said the right thing.

How about that champagne?

I haven't got any glasses.

You're embarrassed about drinking from the bottle?

No. I suppose we've been through worse.

What?

What have you got on your face?

Said the man covered in gold.

Is it bronze?

Fake tan, I hate it.

No, it's not you.

I want it to look beautiful.

You are.

Give me a break.

Let me show you something.

You say what I say.

What do you say?

No man will be able to resist you.

Except maybe the guy wants.

Even we won't be able to resist it.

Oh,

it's freezing.

I'm really squishy.

Look, no pain, no gain. I've got layers of permatant to get through here.

Don't have that ticklish.

Well, you've been a really good mate to me, taking me in after Frank and

everything.

I don't actually know what I'd have done without you.

Shush, you soppy cow.

Do you think I'll ever find another man?

Of course you will. You're beautiful.

Right. There we go.

All done.

Now for the moment of truth.

Enter that chair and wash it off.

We present appearing for the first time without makeup.

Ta -da!

So?

Do you like it?

What are you doing?

I thought that when you said that... No.

Lorna, I'm gay.

I don't like girls. You're a girl.

Right. It's that simple.

It couldn't be any simpler, and yet I still managed to get it wrong.

Look, I didn't mean to upset you, OK?

Look what happened to me tonight.

I came on to a straight guy, and he told me to get lost. He was a stranger,

stripping in a gay bar.

Yeah? That is an OK mistake to make.

He wasn't your friend.

Okay. Okay, so what about Marco?

He was my friend.

I knew he was straight. I told him I loved him and he couldn't even look me

the eye.

It's not so simple.

You get gay men trying to be straight, straight men having a goat being gay.

I mean, how's a girl supposed to know?

They weren't... Girl... Is that why it's okay?

You can't leave like this.

Leanne, when that little boy boarded the plane, he sneezed near my face.

You heard what that man said.

It doesn't mean anything.

It's all done yet.

Alan, please, Leon.

What is up with her?

She's still a bit shaken. I'm sorry.

We tried to help her.

She's not the only one having a shitty time.

There's something else, isn't there?

Leon, what is going on?

We've been working 18 hours.

We're all knackered.

It's all right.

Sir, could I have a word?

You said you have medical knowledge?

Well, I'm a dentist. I did basic pre -med. Why?

Our person thinks it's probably just one of those things kids get. And that's

supposed to reassure us?

The commonest childhood illnesses can do the most damage to a fetus in the first

trimester. German measles, shingles. Could someone catch it just from being

sneezed on?

If what he's got is an airborne infection... Please, this really isn't

my wife.

and are passing through security.

Flash 262, Roger that.

Port Health arrived at the airport and sending a doctor on board.

Money's seven hours late for my party.

I was meant to be supplying fags for about 20 people.

Duty free?

You are aware that when Port Health can evolve, they're even more strict about

baggage inspection.

All I'm saying is if you've got something on you shouldn't, they will

I've got 2 ,000 fags.

Hmm, thought so.

That's 1 ,800 too many.

I'll take 200 off you.

Cheers, yeah.

Do you think Janice will have 200 facts?

Captain?

What?

Ask her, I don't know. Probably not.

Have you noticed how she seems a little bit pissed off about the delay?

Yeah. I found out why.

Oh?

Why is that, then?

She's got a date.

Nonsense. No.

They were going to have dinner. She seemed pretty upset about missing it.

Yeah, well, a friend, probably.

I know date talk, right? This was date talk.

You OK?

I want my bed so much.

I swear I could lie down and sleep forever.

I remember that feeling.

And my pit.

Like concrete.

Oh, concrete wouldn't hurt this much.

Sorry.

If you're anything like I was, you're probably panicking right now, not

what to do.

Maybe I don't have a choice.

The kid sneezed right in my face.

That might not mean anything.

Look, panicking isn't going to solve anything, Rach.

What's done is done, and you're probably fine.

But if not, we'll deal with it.

Look, why don't you go and have a kip?

Me and Jack can manage.

And I've steel -balled right that. No report, no tar.

Target it.

Super star, super.

He's arrived.

Where have you been? With his co -star.

What have you been doing, eh?

He's wet.

He's been by.

Been about five, have you? What, me?

Never. What have you lot been doing then? Drinking, drinking and more

Oh, that's our last trip together. Come on girls, let's get some more drinking.

So you've never been with a girl? Not even once?

Couple of times.

In my youth.

And?

Didn't really rock my boat. It was kind of like being there, but not being

there.

Hmm.

So, we like going to a rock concert when you prefer the ballet.

Mm -hmm.

Yeah.

How about you?

You ever fancy the ballet?

No.

Nice silly looking, isn't it?

I mean, have you ever snogged a woman?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

And?

It wasn't bad.

It wasn't anything, really.

I know how you feel.

Oh, shit.

Oh, well, that's all right.

You've got to promise me something.

Not a word.

Are you serious?

I'm not able to sleep.

I'm not allowed to sleep.

No, no, of course.

Bit of a nuisance this delay, eh?

Say, we're off on a date.

With anyone I know?

How long for?

You mean quickly, I'll give you that. I'm not going to take gossip now.

Or ever.

A name.

That's all I ask. I'm entitled to that, aren't I?

Entitled?

All right, yeah.

I had a date.

No one you know.

Not that it matters now, since he thinks I've stood him up, so we'll probably

never see each other again anyway.

Which is a shame, because I actually quite liked him.

I'll miss as much of a shame as me being stuck on this plane and forced to spend

the night with you.

How long has your son been ill?

Days?

Weeks?

Is he on any kind of medication?

Have any of his friends or classmates been sick?

These details are important.

I don't know.

This is the first time I've seen my son for six months.

His father, my ex -husband, took him to Tunisia. It was supposed to be a two

-week holiday to see relatives.

He never came back.

I called. Nothing.

I told the police there was nothing they could do.

So you stole him back? No, I have custody.

Not that that means anything to his father.

All right, the issue right now is this little boy's health.

That's a good one.

That's a good one.

Rachel?

Enough.

Now,

me what's going on.

Do you love me?

What, is this what this is all about, whether I love you or not?

Do you?

Yes.

Has something happened? Have you, I don't know, had some news?

Rachel.

Dan.

Go on.

I'm tired.

I don't feel very well.

I just wanted to hear you say you love me, that's all.

Yes, I love you.

Is that better?

Not measles, not typhoid, not rubella.

I was pretty sure when I first saw the boy.

I'm almost entirely sure now that it's chicken pox.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Thank you for your

patience. We finally have a diagnosis, and our young passenger has nothing more

serious than a case of chicken pox.

We've been given the all -clear to disembark, and buses are on their way

to transport you to the terminal building.

Thank you, and good morning.

Miss Brayne? Yeah?

You'll obviously have to see a GP, but for now you're free to leave. Look, do

have to go through immigration with everyone else?

That's right. But isn't there another way out? I'm afraid not. No, but you

understand that... Oh, OK, sweetheart, we're going home soon.

We smoke, sir. Free cigarettes.

Our way of saying sorry for the delay. One pack or two.

We don't smoke.

I'll take it if he doesn't want them.

Why, madam, free cigarettes. All that over a dose of chicken pox. God, that's

over, isn't it?

What? Just checking for gold paint.

We washed it off in the sea first. And where's this golden boy himself?

It's not like that. It was just a shag.

What about you and Lorna?

We got drunk.

We exfoliated. We talked.

About? Sex. Good.

What happened?

I like it.

I like wearing it.

And I feel not me without it.

Whatever makes you happy.

Poppy!

I'll wait for you to eat.

Disappeared last night.

It's not the same about you.

Turned around and you were gone.

Look, I've got to get to work.

Okay.

No Craig.

Excuse me, madam. That way. No, I can't.

Please, please, you have to help me. My ex -husband, he's here. He's going to

take Craig.

Hayes, slow down.

I knew he was going to come after us. He's going to take him like he did

No, he won't. There are police all over the airport. You don't know Ari.

Look, there's got to be some other way out of here.

No, you know what? This really is none of our business.

I can't lose my baby.

You take my bag.

Let me give you a hand on this, Frank.

We'll get you on the crew van back to the fresh centre. You're quite safe

Is there someone we can call to pick you up? Thank you.

Thank you so much.

Morning.

On the right -hand side.

Hello.

Hi. I've changed my flight.

It's kind of a good stay anyway since I'm not stripping.

Your boarding pass.

Morning.

Morning.

Thanks for not saying anything.

Yeah, I'm usually the best when I'm not saying anything.

Sorry,

I can't seem to work this thing.

Any hostie that can't work a seatbelt shouldn't be let out alone.

I didn't get your number.

I didn't give it to you.

Well, maybe that's something you could help me out with.

No, sorry.

Oh, well.

Can't blame the guy for trying.

Craig. Hi.

You waited.

Since we missed dinner, how about some breakfast?

If you're not too tired.

No, I'm not tired at all. Great. Oh, these are for you.

Thank you.

Um... What do you want?

A word.

It's important.

The airport business is terribly dull. I'll be two minutes.

Well?

The way I see these past few weeks, we're quits.

What?

We've both done some shitty things.

Nearly cost each other our jobs.

But it's over and we're still here.

Can't we...

Put it behind us and move on. You've already delayed dinner, Nigel. You're

delaying breakfast. You've got a point to make. Can you make it?

Janice, I want... Will you marry me?

Hail the joy and hail the fun.

Now it's time for me to get on top of the world.

You're a world is mine And I'm feeling