Original subtitles

(♪)

I used to be somebody.

In the big city.

I shined the light of truth on the city's seedy underbelly.

Drug busts, dirty cops,

greasy politicians, overzealous Karens?

I was respected and feared.

Even the local cartel “Jefes” had a name for me.

El feo verdad!

But it all fell apart.

And now I'm back here, in my hometown

(car horn beeping)

in Florida.

(♪)

We interrupt this program to bring you a special report from the mayor.

I wonder what this idiot is going to say next.

Hi. My name's Raymond.

The mayor here will be giving the latest updates on the search

for one Roscoe Abernathy.

The suspect in the murder of Friar Frick.

You know the fellow who's found frozen in an ice cream truck

and the mayor choked on his toe and then I went to save his life and...

Ha Ha Ha Ha... You idiot!

You didn’t need to bring that up.

Sorry Boss!

Thank you, everybody, for being here for such an important announcement.

As you all know, I have always kept the safety and well-being

of my supporters...

Our town people.

You people. All of you.

And the children, of course, as being paramount.

Well, I can't believe they lasted this long without a riot breaking out.

This beats last year's record.

Law enforcement agents who are ah... hard working.

And ah... so with us today is um... our deputy.

Him... who has been working

diligently to bring that...

Mr. Roscoe, that...

This is top tier television.

I'm serious! They’re not even cutting away for commercials,

so we can hear about hair re-growth.

Now, why would I want to see a commercial when I got him up on the screen?

It has been five weeks since the discovery of Frick's body,

and the suspect, the one

Roscoe Abernathy, is still at-large.

Although our initial sources led us to believe that

he skipped out of state, see, a series of more recent tips,

are leading us to believe that he is still traipsing around.

So we're asking the public to be on the lookout

and I'll take some questions.

One of your posters thingamajigs,

said that Roscoe is armed and dangerous.

So what's the armed with?

Is he got a Glock?

A Smith and Wesson? An Uzi?

Let's just say he's got a rifle, because who here doesn’t!

Ha, ha, ha, ha!

Just having just a rifle isn't even being armed!

Agreed.

Let's just say he's dangerous.

Like in Sasquatch dangerous?

Barney! Don't you be imposing that California vernacular here.

This is Florida, and it is the skunk ape!

And he is skunk ape dangerous!

I let my cat, Mr. Peepers roam at night.

Now, do I need to be worried that Roscoe is going to grab Mr. Peepers for food?

To our knowledge, the suspect is not known

to molest or kill any household pets.

Just ah, just just just people.

Let me take the next one.

If your deputy is so diligent, why was I able to catch him

sleeping 17 different times?

(crowd gasps)

Well, I'm sure that those pictures could be doctored

or perhaps taken out of context.

Right, Deputy?

Ahhh Yes! You probably just caught me with my eyes closed.

All 17 times?

Yes.

Getting back to the Frick case, when is the coroner's report

going to be released to the press?

Nobody's hiding anything, okay?

It's just that members of law enforcement need the time to collect the evidence

and not compromise the investigation.

Yeah, but what...

Boring!

He he he he.

(♪)

Hello, Mr. Mayor.

Remember me?

Oh, you might remember me as...

Ben Dover!

(crowd gasps)

(Deuce snickers)

You're that wall contractor who is definitely not getting his permit anymore.

Why is that, Mr. Mayor?

Because $20 on top of white scrap paper isn't enough of a bribe for you?

(crowd gasps) (♪)

It's all on my brand new article.

It's coming out on the Tribune website.

It just went to press right now.

You little!

(crowd yells)

There it is.

She ducked!

She ducked!

Ooh, that’s gotta hurt

(crowd rioting)

It’s a riot! It’s a riot!

Hey! She just got spit on!

Did you know that chairs can be used as projectiles?

Because I didn’t.

(crowd rioting)

You see, that's how it's done.

You don't wait for the story.

You got to have the balls to make the story.

I've got...

Big balls.

Balls.

(crowd rioting)

Balls!

(crowd rioting) (♪)

(♪)

(door chime)

Is there something wrong with the website, Tonya?

Because my new story is getting shit for views.

Wasn’t really your best.

Too many holes in it?

In more ways than one.

Whoa! Duece’s story on the mayor is on fire.

Zip it!

I swear,

is Deuce here just to ruin my life?

Don't make it about that a-hole.

Do your own thing.

Hey, whatever happened that lead on Roscoe's ex girlfriend?

You know, what's her name?

Chastity.

Oh

Yeah! She sold her trailer and left no forwarding address.

So that's it?

That's it.

Not if you want to get paid.

What do you mean?

I don't pay you to sit around here and mope.

There's no free lunch.

Get that story.

Hit the street. (♪) Pound the pavement.

Lunch! You're a genius.

(door chime)

What would you tell him

to pound the pavement?

Wouldn’t that hurt?

Appreciate it, sir.

Absolutely! You see, I think you deserve.

You don't get enough respect around this town.

Oh! Hi Ace!

I was just leaving.

You want some of my tots?

Not you.

What was that about?

We were just talking about the Frick case.

What did you tell him?

Why I gotta tell you? You ain't my mama.

Okay, I had a couple of questions to ask you about Roscoe.

Well, what do you got to offer me?

Dessert?

At the press conference, the mayor said you were the reason

the coroner's report wasn't being released.

He was lying, right?

I got no raisins in this cookie.

I just want to catch Roscoe.

I think releasing the report may help spur getting more tips from public.

So why not release it?

Maybe the mayor's worried

about negative publicity, seeing it happen on his property and all.

Don't you think you should release it?

You know, for transparency.

You journalists and that word.

How about you just let me take a little peek?

I have my orders.

Come on, not releasing it looks bad, right?

I mean, it smells worse like a rotting corpse.

There you go again.

I've lost my appetite.

I’m sorry.

Look, let's start over.

No... No.

I'm done with you.

Get on out of here.

- Look - Get!

Go on. (♪)

Mosey on away.

Faster.

Quicker. Don’t look at me.

Turn around and stop acting like a puppy.

I just wanna eat in peace.

Banned the

First...

Whatever the thing is on the Constitution.

Dahhh!!

(♪)

What’s wrong with you?

Don't want to talk about it.

Just drink.

What's wrong with him?

I don't know. He's still buying.

Why are you so glum?

Sherrie dumped me.

What happened?

Fuck’n Deuce’s story this morning spilled the beans on poor Simo.

What! About what?

Oh, mix up with the Uber the other day with the dropping

the infant off at the wrong house.

“Florida man abandons infant in throuple trouble.”

Today was supposed to be my date with Sherrie.

Whipped cream Wednesdays!

I thought you had Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday.

I do. I do.

But I had to give this Wednesday,

I had to trade a Tuesday

and a future Thursday just to get it now...

Oh, Leonard’s probably fillin my slot.

Probably not the best choice of words.

T.o.!

What you want man?

Can you get me one of those flying spy cameras?

You mean a drone?

What's your budget?

Look $20 get you a base model, but...

Look, anything I can do to spy on them from the second floor.

Because I need to see if she's banging him.

Got any money? I got.

I got $17 and and and ah...

Buy one get one free for extra large Gushy and a chilly dog at the Sippy Mart.

Are you serious?

So you are serious.

Man, I'll see what I can do.

Alright, I'll see what I can do.

You lucky the Sippy Mart is on the way to my house.

Gotta get a higher class clientele.

(phone message)

Oh, I got to run, guys.

(♪ )

You got a lot of nerve calling me here.

Hi sweetheart.

Mr. Mayor, you just got your hand caught in the cookie jar.

Happens all the time.

Listen, what I'm going to do for you is I'm going to write a second story,

a more favorable story.

I'm gonna tell them the first one was just a misunderstanding.

This thing will just blow right over.

What do you want?

(whipped cream spraying)

I want the coroner's report from the Frick case.

And if I refuse?

(Deuce chuckles)

I can find a lot more dirt on you Mr. Mayor.

And your family.

Does egg salad on a rope ring any bells?

Listen here! I...

You're not going to get away with this.

(Deuce chuckles) Oh, ho ho ho, I really think that I will.

I really... really do.

Why don't you go fuck yourself!

That is a great idea.

Soliciting campaign donations?

Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha...

I'm so glad you two are here.

That's not the reception we were expecting.

Let me speak.

Boss! Look what just came in.

(Raymond chuckles)

Mayor!

I love that picture of you.

If this is an inconvenient time, we can...

No!

Being the mayor of a small town is difficult.

You have to make tough decisions...

like...

hmmm...

hmmm...

Decisions that not everyone will make.

(drops in cup)

Will, like.

Mayor. Why did you summon us here?

Yes.

I'd like to make you two an offer.

One that we can't refuse?

(chuckles)

You could. I just haven't made the offer yet.

Mayor, what do you have?

I'd like to give the two of you access to Frick's coroner's report.

We'll take it.

If.

If what?

If you promise to take down that reporter.

But Mr. Mayor...

I'm that reporter.

Hmm. No, The popular one.

What's his name?

The Deuce!

And banish him from this town forever.

As much as I'd like to, we can't.

Deal. Promise?

Give us access to that report,

and that douche is gone.

Deal... RAYMOND!

Yes, boss.

Okay.

Give these two a copy of Frick's coroner's report, please.

Right away.

Now, if you two will excuse me...

(♪)

Is it still working?

No, it’s in the coffee.

This explains how that asshole was getting all the inside scoop.

And you said he went to the bullhorn?

The day you went missing.

We should do a sweep.

The report.

Uh ummm!

Ummm...

Ummm...

Ooh!

(singing in Spanish, ♪)

Hey hey hey!

What are you doing?

Spring cleaning.

You really need to clean up your space.

It's a mess.

Ok, you two are weirding me out.

Where’d he go?

- Right there. - Here?

Who went where?

Hey guys!

Hello!

Ha Ha Ha Ha...

Ewwww! That’s chewed gum.

Can I use your headphones?

(♪) I thought you didn't like my music.

Ahhhhhhh! (♪)

I don’t... But Deuce loves it. (chuckles)

I don't get it.

It says that Frick perished from a crushed neck vertebrae

with a force of falling headfirst from a height of 15 feet.

He would have had to jump off a roof or a tree or something.

It says that a popsicle stick was driven into his skull, showing

tangled hair on milk soaked cereal beneath his skull... EEW!

Frick’s trailer.

It's gross.

So, did Roscoe throw Frick off the top of his trailer.

It seems like a lot of work, only to stuff him in the ice cream truck freezer.

Look at this.

The duct tape used to wrap Frick's body in the tarp

had two sets of fingerprints, but...

But?

They don't match the sticky fingerprints taken

from all over the ice cream truck, including the steering wheel.

Roscoe’s?

So we're looking for two suspects.

Neither which are Roscoe.

As much as I'd like to eliminate him, we can't just yet.

Why do you care?

I’ll tell you later.

(phone message)

Shit! It’s Iris.

(door chime)

Good luck with that.

(♪) Hello?

(♪) Hello!

(♪) Hello!

(knock on door)

(knock on door)

(car door slam)

Deputy! Ace!

How you doing?

Why are you here?

I was just checking in on your sister.

Checking in?

Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, signs of that crazy Roscoe running around.

Figured I’d just check in, make sure she’s safe.

So, out of everyone in this town, you choose to check in on my sister?

Her house was just in between my...

My route on...

There's the post office over there.

The grocery store.

How's your investigation in the Frick case going?

Oh, actually better. The mayor released the coroner's report.

Oh, did he now? Yeah.

Did you know there were two sets of fingerprints on the tarp that didn’t match Roscoe?

I knew that.

What do you know about Chastity?

Oh, you mean Frick’s uhh, “Collector”

And Roscoe's ex-girlfriend.

I knew that too!

Coincidence?

Maybe. I interrogated her the day after we found Frick.

She said that Roscoe called her up the week before

all fired up about how Frick stiffed him.

Said that, “Roscoe was going to teach Frick a lesson”

but she didn't think the old coot was going to kill him, though.

Well, I got it from a source that she could be involved.

Involved, how?

Do you know where I can find her?

Uh, maybe out by the male strip club.

Oh ahhh... Willy Wigglers?

No, not that one.

The Purple Nurple?

No, no, the other one.

Jeez, how many male strip clubs do we have in this town?

The one out by the assisted living center.

Oh, Swinging Dickies!

No! Out To Pasture Meadows.

Aesop!

What's the deputy doing here?

Oh, I think he maybe came to arrest you for RBF.

(laughter)

No no...

Fuck you!

Fuck you, too.

No, I was just checking in. (♪)

Now, why did you have go and say that?

Had to be said.

I'm leaving.

Bye!

Some bitch!

Get out of my way!

(♪)

(truck starting, driving off)

Hmmm, just as I thought.

(♪)

(phone ringing)

Hey Ace! What’s up?

Parker! I'm calling to tell you where I'm going next.

But, why?

The bug?

The what?

Remember the bug that Deuce left there?

It's on the desk.

Oh, like you said, it would happen.

Yeah, I'm going to tell you where I'm going, and I need you to repeat after me.

Ok, got it, got it, got it, got it.

I need you to say...

“So, you are going to Swinging Dickies.”

No, I'm not going. That place is not my style.

No, no, no. I am.

I need you to say...

“So, you are going to Swinging Dickies.”

Oh, okay. Okay.

“So you are going to the Swinging Dickies.”

Perfect! Aesop out.

But, why would Ace go to this Swinging Dickies?

I think he's desperate for a big hot tip.

He's finally going to bring his investigation to a head.

(mouth pop)

I’m starting to get good at this.

(♪) Ohhh Ace.

You think you can get away from me.

You can't hide.

No, you can’t hide from me.

I'm Deuce!

I'm a Big Deuce!

What's this?

What? Oh.

Oh!

(♪)