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(♪) “Previously on Dirty Neck.”
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How in your mind could you run such a lurid story
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about one of our good townsfolk?
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I got a million hits about the groom
with the golf club stuck up his ass
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That dude was sporting wood for two whole days?
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No way.
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Yes way! I don't make this shit up.
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Can you use the word rooster instead?
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Caught with a rooster ring... on his rooster.
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Oh, is it cuz' I'm black.
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Flori-Dude! Flori-Dude! Flori-Dude!
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Roscoe said the freezer was jammed,
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so he had to move all the popsicles to the fridge.
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You think his body's in the freezer?
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What the hell's going on here?
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We have clues to a missing
person that points to foul play.
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A body in the freezer of an ice cream truck?
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My beer! My popsicles!
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Mr. Tabloid
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was wrong
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just like every goddamn story you ever... Argh!
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Are those Frick's feet?
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How did he get here?
24
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Oh, come on. Don't be so dramatic.
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Nah... Nah nah nah. He's choking!
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I'll save ya boss.
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I got it, Mayor.
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Arghhh!
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Is that the little piggy that went to market?
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Roscoe, you're under arrest.
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Where'd he go?
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Still no luck finding our Friar
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freezing felon... the elusive Roscoe.
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Pull back your horns and lay off
them tall tales about the mayor.
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(thud)
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You're going to what?
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I’m gonna... argh!
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You the Flori-Dude?
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I didn't think that name would actually stick.
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Good enough!
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Huh?
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May I help you?
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I believe you can. Is it hot in here?
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Or is it just us?
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You guys knock me over the head and I'm tied to a chair,
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being held hostage by two
goons and I gotta' take a piss.
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Intimidation! Yes!
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Just like in the old times.
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Guys! I'm just a reporter, not a cop.
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Yeah, and then pull it out.
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Pull what out?
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It!
It?
53
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Yeah. It's not going to pull itself out.
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I asked you to arrange a meeting,
and you bring me to this shit hole.
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Hello, Ace.
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Roscoe?
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(birds chirping)
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I'm Marvin, Roscoe's brother.
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His twin brother?
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Aha! A reporter's power of deduction.
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So, you know, I'm a reporter.
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I know a lot of things.
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Like, I know you're in a slump, and
I know you're trying to find Roscoe...
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Linking him to Frick's murder.
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Or the fact that Frick was found in his storage unit
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doesn't look good for Roscoe.
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Well, what if I told you it wasn't
Roscoe and it was someone else?
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I'd say that's what I'd expect a
close kin to try to convince me of.
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Maybe so.
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But I know my brother like I know myself.
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Well, this guy's talking way too much.
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I'm starving!
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(♪)
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Ah, Leon?
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Ahhhh... What is it dumbass?
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Nothin.
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Is it just me? Or is that like
a little saltier than last time?
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No!
No!
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Hope you're not allergic to NUTS!
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(♪)
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(door chime)
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(♪)
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The police found found Ace's car
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and cell phone at the bar, but no sign of him.
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He goes nowhere
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without his phone.
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I got the video surveillance of The Barn.
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Damn, it's too dark and grainy
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to read the license plate.
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Anything on the inside cameras?
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Eeww! It's just Ace going into the stall and squatting.
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What kind of bar has security
cameras in the bathroom?
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You have so much to learn about
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Dirty neck, my dear.
95
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What the... Is that a cowboy?
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That cowboy sure is goofy looking.
97
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That goofy looking cowboy looks like...
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Like who?
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Our friend of the mayor's office.
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The mayor!
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(phone alert)
102
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You think he had Ace kidnapped?
103
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Son-of-a...
104
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What?
105
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We've been out-scooped!
106
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(♪)
107
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Tip #123-H.
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Roscoe was seen all dressed up at the Dippin' Donuts
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drive-through,
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without his hat no less.
111
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Now that matches Tip #2E
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Cuz Roscoe's hat was already found
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at Twin Cypress Beach.
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Where are you going next, Roscoe?
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Where are you going next?
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Hmm...
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Maybe (♪)
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I need to talk like Roscoe.
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Think like Roscoe,
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Oh ho ho ho... become Roscoe.
121
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That's what I wanna do.
122
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I wanna become Roscoe...
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My popsicles!
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My popsicles!
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Deputy!
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Tell me where the law says
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I got to wash my hands
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when I touch your popsicles.
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Deputy Doug!
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Who’ll touch your Popsicle
now, with your dirty hands.
131
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Your dirty nails!
132
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I'm going touch Douglas!
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Arghhh!
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What the hell are you squawking about?
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Ahh... I was just, um
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trying to figure out where
Roscoe went by channeling his
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Well change the fucking channel.
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While you were busy pretending
to be a redneck mentalist,
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someone else made inroads
about what happened to Ace!
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He was kidnapped by a cowboy?
141
00:06:03,229 --> 00:06:04,221
Maybe...
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If you didn't spend all your
time scrapbooking your wall,
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you could have done a thorough
investigation at The Barn
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and figured out where my brother is by now.
145
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Now, Iris.
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I tried to interview potential
witnesses, but they were being reluctant,
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difficult.
148
00:06:19,712 --> 00:06:25,184
Well, this reporter, Deuce, was
able to do something that you couldn't.
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You're the police, for fuck's sake.
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Do your fucking job!
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Hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo! (♪)
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She sure is a firecracker!
153
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So, I agree,
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there are just too many holes and
not enough contractors to fix them.
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If I find out who is knocking down walls in my town,
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the full girth of my boot
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is gonna find someone's ass.
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That said, Mr. Um?
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00:07:01,154 --> 00:07:02,279
What was it again?
160
00:07:02,321 --> 00:07:03,514
Uh, Dover.
161
00:07:03,556 --> 00:07:05,683
But you can call me Ben.
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00:07:05,725 --> 00:07:09,162
Ben... I wish your new business success.
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00:07:09,228 --> 00:07:11,956
Well, thank you. That's very kind.
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See, the problem is, Mr. Mayor
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is it's your building department.
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They keep denying all of my permit
requests. I don't know what to do.
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Right. Well, there is a vetting process
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00:07:25,111 --> 00:07:29,982
so that we can make sure the
contractors don't do any shoddy work.
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We can't have walls falling
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on poor Meemaw passing by.
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(Deuce chuckles) No, we can't.
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Poor Meemaw.
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So, let me ask you this, Mr. Mayor.
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What can be done to just cruise
through that vetting process?
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Well,
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as I mentioned earlier,
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there's a small fee.
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Hmm.
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It does get expensive to run this town.
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00:07:55,741 --> 00:07:58,235
Yes, I can imagine.
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Only a fee?
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Plus 10% of all future business.
183
00:08:01,514 --> 00:08:02,940
I see. (click)
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00:08:02,982 --> 00:08:05,985
I got a feeling that more walls
185
00:08:06,185 --> 00:08:08,312
are going to fall down.
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00:08:08,354 --> 00:08:12,692
(laughing)
187
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Raymond!
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- Boss? - Aaugh!
189
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Could you get this man an envelope?
190
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Do you want letter sized or large?
191
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Ahhhhh.
192
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(chuckling)
193
00:08:31,010 --> 00:08:32,336
One about yay-big.
194
00:08:32,378 --> 00:08:34,013
With a window?
195
00:08:34,113 --> 00:08:35,172
What do you mean, window?
196
00:08:35,214 --> 00:08:39,151
One with the transparent window,
so you can see what's inside.
197
00:08:39,218 --> 00:08:40,644
No, definitely not
198
00:08:40,686 --> 00:08:42,980
one that I can see inside of.
199
00:08:43,022 --> 00:08:44,515
Do you want stamps?
200
00:08:44,557 --> 00:08:47,051
Just get me a damn envelope
201
00:08:47,093 --> 00:08:49,086
so that this man can put something in it
202
00:08:49,128 --> 00:08:50,630
and then hand it to me.
203
00:08:50,763 --> 00:08:54,033
And I cannot see what is inside of it.
204
00:08:54,100 --> 00:08:57,228
Okay.
205
00:08:57,270 --> 00:09:00,164
(chuckling)
206
00:09:00,206 --> 00:09:01,265
Good help these days!
207
00:09:01,307 --> 00:09:02,867
It's hard.
208
00:09:02,909 --> 00:09:04,768
Yeah.
209
00:09:04,810 --> 00:09:06,070
Not to me,
210
00:09:06,112 --> 00:09:09,415
to him.
211
00:09:09,482 --> 00:09:13,719
Thank you.
212
00:09:16,489 --> 00:09:19,659
(nervous laughter)
213
00:09:19,926 --> 00:09:23,554
There we go.
214
00:09:23,596 --> 00:09:25,598
(laughing)
215
00:09:25,665 --> 00:09:27,224
Well,
216
00:09:27,266 --> 00:09:29,293
Mr. Dover!
217
00:09:29,335 --> 00:09:31,896
As long as you keep your
account active with this office,
218
00:09:31,938 --> 00:09:35,741
your permit problems will be gone.
219
00:09:35,808 --> 00:09:37,201
Thank you, Mr. Mayor.
220
00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:39,370
This meeting could not have gone better.
221
00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:40,871
Well,
222
00:09:40,913 --> 00:09:45,585
you let me know if you need anything else.
223
00:09:45,685 --> 00:09:47,478
You will be hearing from me.
224
00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:52,325
You can count on that.
225
00:09:52,391 --> 00:09:53,726
Boss!
Arghhh!
226
00:09:54,126 --> 00:09:56,820
Look at this story.
227
00:09:56,862 --> 00:09:58,631
(♪)
228
00:09:59,265 --> 00:10:02,059
What is? Who is this Deuce?
229
00:10:02,101 --> 00:10:04,662
What the hell is this?
230
00:10:04,704 --> 00:10:08,232
There were cameras at The
Barn that night Ace went missing.
231
00:10:08,274 --> 00:10:11,877
(♪)
232
00:10:11,944 --> 00:10:15,948
Flamboyant cowboy!
233
00:10:16,048 --> 00:10:18,142
Well, anyone be able to figure out that's you?
234
00:10:18,184 --> 00:10:19,209
I don't know.
235
00:10:19,251 --> 00:10:21,111
Will they be able to trace it back to me?
236
00:10:21,153 --> 00:10:23,147
I don't know.
237
00:10:23,189 --> 00:10:26,083
But if you didn't kidnap that
damn reporter, then who did?
238
00:10:26,125 --> 00:10:28,260
I don't know.
239
00:10:28,327 --> 00:10:31,330
Regardless, we got to circle the wagons.
240
00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:34,391
So if anybody asks, what do we tell them?
241
00:10:34,433 --> 00:10:35,192
I don't know.
242
00:10:35,234 --> 00:10:36,560
Exactly.
243
00:10:36,602 --> 00:10:38,662
That was the first correct thing you've said all day.
244
00:10:38,704 --> 00:10:40,464
Oh, thank you, boss.
245
00:10:40,506 --> 00:10:41,106
(♪)
246
00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:52,184
I don't give 20 fucks?
247
00:10:52,251 --> 00:10:58,057
You got Deuce'd! Ben Dover...
248
00:10:58,124 --> 00:11:01,385
What the hell?
249
00:11:01,427 --> 00:11:03,787
RAYMOND!
250
00:11:03,829 --> 00:11:06,890
(♪)
251
00:11:06,932 --> 00:11:09,935
I'm gonna drop you off here.
252
00:11:10,002 --> 00:11:11,829
Listen!
253
00:11:11,871 --> 00:11:14,598
Take another look at that police report
254
00:11:14,640 --> 00:11:19,111
and take a look at Roscoe's
old girlfriend too. Chastity.
255
00:11:19,178 --> 00:11:21,805
She was also working for Frick.
256
00:11:21,847 --> 00:11:22,906
Chastity!
257
00:11:22,948 --> 00:11:25,951
Yeah, she's moved out of town
and no one's heard from her since.
258
00:11:26,018 --> 00:11:28,278
Doesn't that sound a little suspicious?
259
00:11:28,320 --> 00:11:29,480
Guess so.
260
00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:31,215
And where is that coroner's report?
261
00:11:31,257 --> 00:11:33,050
Hasn't been released yet.
262
00:11:33,092 --> 00:11:34,818
You know,
263
00:11:34,860 --> 00:11:36,620
my intuition tells me that
264
00:11:36,662 --> 00:11:39,590
law enforcement is
265
00:11:39,632 --> 00:11:42,493
missing all the important clues,
266
00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:45,738
and they're looking in the wrong areas.
267
00:11:45,838 --> 00:11:48,841
I think you should confront the Deputy.
268
00:11:48,908 --> 00:11:51,168
Look into Chastity
269
00:11:51,210 --> 00:11:54,213
and get that coroner's report.
270
00:11:54,447 --> 00:11:58,317
If you want to know what happened
to Frick, you have to retrace his steps.
271
00:11:58,384 --> 00:12:00,310
You make it sound so easy.
272
00:12:00,352 --> 00:12:04,123
Easy peasy, lemon squeezy.
273
00:12:04,190 --> 00:12:06,350
That's where that comes from.
274
00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:09,929
See ya, Marvin.
275
00:12:11,263 --> 00:12:16,469
(truck door slams, truck driving off)
276
00:12:17,803 --> 00:12:19,963
Why drop me off way out here? (♪)
277
00:12:20,005 --> 00:12:23,175
It's like he was avoiding the drive through town.
278
00:12:23,275 --> 00:12:26,545
Well... Off to the Bullhorn it is.
279
00:12:27,179 --> 00:12:31,951
So, Marvin is Roscoe's twin brother.
280
00:12:32,017 --> 00:12:34,311
Talk about separated at birth.
281
00:12:34,353 --> 00:12:37,323
And he wants me to find this Chastity.
282
00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:39,950
How does he know that she's involved?
283
00:12:39,992 --> 00:12:44,563
And this delay with the coroner's report?
284
00:12:44,663 --> 00:12:48,234
Probably because it took two
weeks for Frick's body to thaw.
285
00:12:48,300 --> 00:12:52,304
And he hires Joey and Chandler,
286
00:12:52,404 --> 00:12:54,932
Dirty Neck's own wannabe Goons-R-Us.
287
00:12:54,974 --> 00:12:57,735
And to be honest, I still don't get it.
288
00:12:57,777 --> 00:13:01,238
I mean what the hell is lemon-squeezy?
289
00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:01,880
(♪)
290
00:13:09,421 --> 00:13:11,548
(♪) Oh, how precious
291
00:13:11,590 --> 00:13:14,260
this little cutie can't be more than a month old.
292
00:13:14,326 --> 00:13:15,786
Two weeks this Friday.
293
00:13:15,828 --> 00:13:18,055
Oh, well, you must be a proud daddy.
294
00:13:18,097 --> 00:13:19,590
Well, not really.
295
00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:20,891
Oh, what do you mean?
296
00:13:20,933 --> 00:13:23,936
Oh, I'm not the daddy. It's my girlfriend's.
297
00:13:24,103 --> 00:13:25,329
Oh!
298
00:13:25,371 --> 00:13:26,363
She's not here.
299
00:13:26,405 --> 00:13:28,332
She's at home recovering.
300
00:13:28,374 --> 00:13:30,601
Oh, like post-partum?
301
00:13:30,643 --> 00:13:33,370
Like a massive hangover.
302
00:13:33,412 --> 00:13:36,782
Boys! Hot bar chick.
303
00:13:36,849 --> 00:13:38,742
My friends here, they look thirsty.
304
00:13:38,784 --> 00:13:39,676
Give them a refill.
305
00:13:39,718 --> 00:13:42,212
Alright, Deuces wild!
306
00:13:42,254 --> 00:13:44,581
The Deuce-inator!
307
00:13:44,623 --> 00:13:46,850
Thank you for that tip about the security footage.
308
00:13:46,892 --> 00:13:49,887
I mean, who knew a business could
put a camera inside of a bathroom?
309
00:13:49,929 --> 00:13:51,321
Florida, am I right?
310
00:13:51,363 --> 00:13:52,055
We put a camera in there
311
00:13:52,097 --> 00:13:53,724
because in one instance
312
00:13:53,766 --> 00:13:55,793
What happens in the bathroom,
313
00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:57,895
stays in the bathroom!
314
00:13:57,937 --> 00:14:00,439
Hey... What up yokels!
315
00:14:01,106 --> 00:14:03,742
That's an ugly baby.
316
00:14:05,644 --> 00:14:07,437
Drinks on me.
317
00:14:07,479 --> 00:14:08,906
Oh, I think they're fine
318
00:14:08,948 --> 00:14:11,108
I took care of them.
319
00:14:11,150 --> 00:14:13,477
Alright, drinks on you then.
320
00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:16,689
Let me get somethin on his tab.
321
00:14:16,755 --> 00:14:18,116
Yeah, go ahead, do that...
322
00:14:18,158 --> 00:14:20,459
because I have all the money in the world.
323
00:14:20,826 --> 00:14:23,453
Hi, how are you? I'm Deuce,
324
00:14:23,495 --> 00:14:27,457
I'm the lead reporter of the Tribune.
325
00:14:27,499 --> 00:14:29,726
I'll just leave that right here.
326
00:14:29,768 --> 00:14:33,297
Talking about the Tribune where Ace used to work at?
327
00:14:33,339 --> 00:14:36,108
Where Ace was fired from was more accurate.
328
00:14:36,175 --> 00:14:38,068
Oh, it's not what I heard.
329
00:14:38,110 --> 00:14:41,572
Maybe you should question the source.
330
00:14:41,614 --> 00:14:45,008
Well if the action is so hot up there,
what the hell you doing down here?
331
00:14:45,050 --> 00:14:46,443
And where the hell is Ace?
332
00:14:46,485 --> 00:14:48,345
Where is Ace at?
333
00:14:48,387 --> 00:14:52,524
Oh, you haven't seen the latest, by yours truly.
334
00:14:54,126 --> 00:14:54,918
See that, right there?
335
00:14:54,960 --> 00:14:56,019
See that?
336
00:14:56,061 --> 00:14:59,932
That's where Ace was getting abducted
from this very parking lot last night.
337
00:15:00,032 --> 00:15:01,992
Abducted?
338
00:15:02,034 --> 00:15:02,759
Yeah, like taken.
339
00:15:02,801 --> 00:15:03,660
By who?
340
00:15:03,702 --> 00:15:06,705
Oh, by some flamboyant looking cowboy. I don't know.
341
00:15:06,839 --> 00:15:08,741
This is his hat.
342
00:15:08,807 --> 00:15:10,467
No! Do not put that on.
343
00:15:10,509 --> 00:15:13,203
No, I'll put that on... look out... No stop that.
344
00:15:13,245 --> 00:15:15,639
Hey man, can y'all stop playing around and just tell me
345
00:15:15,681 --> 00:15:17,074
if anyone is out there looking for Ace.
346
00:15:17,116 --> 00:15:18,242
I mean, I would, but I got
347
00:15:18,284 --> 00:15:20,277
to watch this one right here.
348
00:15:20,319 --> 00:15:23,989
And I have to keep an eye on this little one right here.
349
00:15:24,089 --> 00:15:26,416
Dumbfucker and dumbfucker!
350
00:15:26,458 --> 00:15:28,127
What about you, man?
351
00:15:29,595 --> 00:15:31,989
Oh, I'm kinda on a break.
352
00:15:32,031 --> 00:15:34,291
So, what needs to happen is
353
00:15:34,333 --> 00:15:35,959
because I'll sit here and
354
00:15:36,001 --> 00:15:38,095
what you need to do is, when you find him,
355
00:15:38,137 --> 00:15:39,396
or find anything about him,
356
00:15:39,438 --> 00:15:41,965
you can just call me because you've got my card.
357
00:15:42,007 --> 00:15:43,133
I'll just give you. Hello.
358
00:15:43,175 --> 00:15:44,134
Um.
359
00:15:44,176 --> 00:15:44,776
(♪)
360
00:15:54,687 --> 00:15:56,622
(door chime)
361
00:15:56,689 --> 00:15:57,514
Hey, guys.
362
00:15:57,556 --> 00:16:00,192
Ace! Are you alright?
363
00:16:01,994 --> 00:16:04,263
Ohhhhhh!
364
00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:07,057
Yeah! I need a shower.
365
00:16:07,099 --> 00:16:11,303
You smell like sweat, piss, and soy sauce?
366
00:16:11,370 --> 00:16:12,596
It's a long story.
367
00:16:12,638 --> 00:16:13,830
Okay. Who was a cowboy?
368
00:16:13,872 --> 00:16:14,665
And what did he want?
369
00:16:14,707 --> 00:16:15,432
The Cowboy?
370
00:16:15,474 --> 00:16:16,875
Uh huh.
371
00:16:16,942 --> 00:16:20,312
The cowboy who cornered you in The Barn bathroom.
372
00:16:20,379 --> 00:16:22,472
Was it a Brokeback Mountain thing?
373
00:16:22,514 --> 00:16:25,175
Flamboyant cowboy.
374
00:16:25,217 --> 00:16:26,843
Bathroom tryst.
375
00:16:26,885 --> 00:16:29,046
Potential ass pounding in the back of a van.
376
00:16:29,088 --> 00:16:31,148
Who writes salacious crap like this?
377
00:16:31,190 --> 00:16:33,425
(clearing throat)
378
00:16:33,492 --> 00:16:36,386
Oh, I only write factual stuff.
379
00:16:36,428 --> 00:16:37,854
Okay, hold on, You've been telling me...
380
00:16:37,896 --> 00:16:38,755
if we can't make the news happen-
381
00:16:38,797 --> 00:16:40,257
Eh, ba, ba, ba, ba...
382
00:16:40,299 --> 00:16:41,591
Seriously, who wrote this?
383
00:16:41,633 --> 00:16:44,027
Look at the byline.
384
00:16:44,069 --> 00:16:46,430
Deuce!
385
00:16:46,472 --> 00:16:47,764
How did he get this?
386
00:16:47,806 --> 00:16:49,366
Okay, hold on. He stopped here
387
00:16:49,408 --> 00:16:51,835
the day you went missing. And he was looking for you.
388
00:16:51,877 --> 00:16:53,036
But he didn't say why.
389
00:16:53,078 --> 00:16:54,204
What did you tell him?
390
00:16:54,246 --> 00:16:56,173
Nothing.
And you're right.
391
00:16:56,215 --> 00:16:57,975
He is a sphincter.
392
00:16:58,017 --> 00:17:01,411
So, did Woody try to put a snake in your boot? (♪)
393
00:17:01,453 --> 00:17:02,955
No.
394
00:17:03,055 --> 00:17:04,414
Did you pull out his pistol?
395
00:17:04,456 --> 00:17:05,148
No.
396
00:17:05,190 --> 00:17:06,550
Did he pull out his pistol?
397
00:17:06,592 --> 00:17:07,217
No
398
00:17:07,259 --> 00:17:08,852
Did you ride the stallion?
399
00:17:08,894 --> 00:17:09,853
Are you done yet?
400
00:17:09,895 --> 00:17:10,954
One more.
401
00:17:10,996 --> 00:17:11,922
Nope.
402
00:17:11,964 --> 00:17:14,658
Back to, So where were you the past 24 hours?
403
00:17:14,700 --> 00:17:16,293
Who kidnapped you and why?
404
00:17:16,335 --> 00:17:17,527
I can't tell you now.
405
00:17:17,569 --> 00:17:21,340
Alright, but let's just say it's a source
for the stories that we've been working on.
406
00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:24,743
Typical sources leave messages or ask questions.
407
00:17:24,810 --> 00:17:26,436
They don't take you hostage.
408
00:17:26,478 --> 00:17:28,672
Well, maybe they just wanted
409
00:17:28,714 --> 00:17:29,740
a captive audience.
410
00:17:29,782 --> 00:17:31,216
(chuckles)
411
00:17:31,950 --> 00:17:33,210
Get it?
412
00:17:33,252 --> 00:17:36,113
Because I was captive.
413
00:17:36,155 --> 00:17:38,857
(laughing)
414
00:17:38,924 --> 00:17:40,083
This is good stuff, guys.
415
00:17:40,125 --> 00:17:42,886
I don't know why you don't get it.
416
00:17:42,928 --> 00:17:45,589
Ace, you're in a slump.
417
00:17:45,631 --> 00:17:47,624
Slump!
418
00:17:47,666 --> 00:17:49,960
Slump!
419
00:17:50,002 --> 00:17:51,728
I mean, maybe
420
00:17:51,770 --> 00:17:55,574
nothing interesting has happened for the last
421
00:17:55,674 --> 00:17:57,501
two weeks.
422
00:17:57,543 --> 00:17:58,969
Oh, Ace.
423
00:17:59,011 --> 00:18:02,815
They found your phone in the parking lot. It's cracked.
424
00:18:02,881 --> 00:18:05,876
Oh, no.
T.O. gave me such a good deal on this.
425
00:18:05,918 --> 00:18:08,145
So, Mr. Ace Reporter,
426
00:18:08,187 --> 00:18:09,946
are you going to finish your story, then?
427
00:18:09,988 --> 00:18:15,127
Yes, I am going off to the scene of the crime.
428
00:18:15,527 --> 00:18:17,187
Umm... Can I get a ride?
429
00:18:17,229 --> 00:18:19,890
My car is at The Barn
430
00:18:19,932 --> 00:18:21,358
Not mine.
431
00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:23,293
You win!
432
00:18:23,335 --> 00:18:24,928
I'd hose him off first.
433
00:18:24,970 --> 00:18:27,564
He smells like my Uncle Roberto.
434
00:18:27,606 --> 00:18:29,308
(chokes)
435
00:18:30,242 --> 00:18:33,912
(♪)
436
00:18:36,081 --> 00:18:39,718
(♪)
437
00:18:39,785 --> 00:18:40,911
That was a quick drop off.
438
00:18:40,953 --> 00:18:43,046
It wasn't a drop off. It was a pick up.
439
00:18:43,088 --> 00:18:46,116
You really think I would
drive around a little intoxicated
440
00:18:46,158 --> 00:18:47,117
with the kid in the car?
441
00:18:47,159 --> 00:18:48,919
That is mighty responsible.
442
00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:49,686
Thank you.
443
00:18:49,728 --> 00:18:53,657
The Uber driver just needed help
letting me strapin in a car seat.
444
00:18:53,699 --> 00:18:55,592
Good thing he had an extra bungee cord.
445
00:18:55,634 --> 00:18:57,461
You can never have enough bungee cords.
446
00:18:57,503 --> 00:18:59,238
Right.
447
00:19:02,808 --> 00:19:06,912
You! Got a lot of nerve coming here.
448
00:19:07,012 --> 00:19:09,506
The tabloid tabby returns. (music)
449
00:19:09,548 --> 00:19:11,041
What’s your business here, Deuce?
450
00:19:11,083 --> 00:19:14,711
I'm just enjoying the backwater
charm of this butt-wart town.
451
00:19:14,753 --> 00:19:15,679
What about you?
452
00:19:15,721 --> 00:19:19,725
Last time we saw you, you were doing
some Midnight Cowboy in the back of a van.
453
00:19:19,825 --> 00:19:21,551
I was working on a story.
454
00:19:21,593 --> 00:19:23,286
Heyyyy! Ace is back.
455
00:19:23,328 --> 00:19:24,521
What I miss?
456
00:19:24,563 --> 00:19:26,932
It's a shit-show showdown.
457
00:19:27,032 --> 00:19:28,825
Really?
What was the story about?
458
00:19:28,867 --> 00:19:30,460
Does spit work as well as lube?
459
00:19:30,502 --> 00:19:31,603
(laughter)
460
00:19:31,870 --> 00:19:32,496
It doesn't.
461
00:19:32,538 --> 00:19:36,400
I've seen your stories. Senseless drivel.
Oh, yeah.
462
00:19:36,442 --> 00:19:39,978
You're just jealous, because
you know how popular they are.
463
00:19:40,078 --> 00:19:42,105
Ha-Huh!
464
00:19:42,147 --> 00:19:43,340
You just got lucky.
465
00:19:43,382 --> 00:19:45,842
Listen, but seriously, with a
better journalistic approach, you...
466
00:19:45,884 --> 00:19:46,910
You mean your approach?
467
00:19:46,952 --> 00:19:48,044
Oh, yeah.
468
00:19:48,086 --> 00:19:50,847
My approach. You know it.
469
00:19:50,889 --> 00:19:51,982
I know it.
470
00:19:52,024 --> 00:19:55,928
And pretty soon,
471
00:19:55,994 --> 00:19:57,487
everyone in this shitty
472
00:19:57,529 --> 00:20:01,033
little town will know it too.
473
00:20:01,099 --> 00:20:02,859
Well, this town
474
00:20:02,901 --> 00:20:04,594
is my town.
475
00:20:04,636 --> 00:20:07,531
And it ain't big enough for the both of us.
476
00:20:07,573 --> 00:20:09,099
Pardner, you just gonna' have
477
00:20:09,141 --> 00:20:10,834
to kick me out.
478
00:20:10,876 --> 00:20:15,539
Alright. Alright.
479
00:20:15,581 --> 00:20:17,841
Shit, Ace! You stink, man!
480
00:20:17,883 --> 00:20:19,910
You smell like shit, bro.
481
00:20:19,952 --> 00:20:23,622
You guys see this? The sidekick has to save the hero.
482
00:20:23,689 --> 00:20:25,015
Aw, so you went there, too?
483
00:20:25,057 --> 00:20:27,184
I did, Tonto. I did.
484
00:20:27,226 --> 00:20:29,853
Ooh, Ooh, ooh, So scary. Scary. So scary.
485
00:20:29,895 --> 00:20:30,820
So scary.
486
00:20:30,862 --> 00:20:32,722
Got off me man, you stink.
487
00:20:32,764 --> 00:20:33,990
You, you, you...
488
00:20:34,032 --> 00:20:36,660
You can't help but to lose to me.
489
00:20:36,702 --> 00:20:38,228
(laughing)
490
00:20:38,270 --> 00:20:41,807
What are you talking about?
491
00:20:41,907 --> 00:20:43,667
Check your phones.
492
00:20:43,709 --> 00:20:45,468
You're going to love what comes next.
493
00:20:45,510 --> 00:20:46,703
Hey, can I get a ride?
494
00:20:46,745 --> 00:20:48,238
Dude, you're ruining my exit.
495
00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:50,740
Look, listen. They left the baby on the stoop.
496
00:20:50,782 --> 00:20:53,710
The goddamn driver just drove off.
497
00:20:53,752 --> 00:20:55,378
Oh, yeah.
498
00:20:55,420 --> 00:20:57,681
I'll give you a ride.
499
00:20:57,723 --> 00:20:59,449
I wouldn't take that ride.
500
00:20:59,491 --> 00:21:01,384
So tell me about this half girlfriend of yours.
501
00:21:01,426 --> 00:21:03,420
She's a whole girlfriend.
Oh, do tell.
502
00:21:03,462 --> 00:21:04,854
Yeah. I'm the half boyfriend.
503
00:21:04,896 --> 00:21:05,722
No!
504
00:21:05,764 --> 00:21:08,267
Unbelievable!
505
00:21:08,367 --> 00:21:10,193
This must suck for you, man.
506
00:21:10,235 --> 00:21:13,029
He took your job, and he took your friends.
507
00:21:13,071 --> 00:21:14,664
And you smell like shit.
508
00:21:14,706 --> 00:21:17,367
I gotta get a drink, man.
509
00:21:17,409 --> 00:21:20,270
So, Deuce wants a piece of my action.
510
00:21:20,312 --> 00:21:21,538
I'll give him a piece.
511
00:21:21,580 --> 00:21:22,180
(♪)
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