Original subtitles

Oh, God.

Oh,

God.

So what does your mother think about this little trip of ours?

She thinks I'm going to get preyed on by Cabin Crew.

Fortunately, most of them are gay.

Last look.

I'll have to go to a briefing.

Marco here would be delighted to look after you for 15 minutes, wouldn't you,

Marco? Dad, I don't need babysitting.

Actually, I've got an assessment with Gina. I'm sure you can find time to show

Georgina around. The viewing gallery, perhaps.

I'll be 15 minutes. I'm sure I can rely upon you, Marco, to look after my

daughter.

Marco, you don't look Italian.

My parents went to Italy on their honeymoon.

Hello? Who's this?

Georgina. This is Jason.

Listen, Jay, I'm supposed to look after... But I've got my assessment with

in about ten minutes.

It's all right, mate, you go.

I'm sure I can find something to entertain her with.

Right, better crack on with the Jason Murdoch tour, then.

Shall we?

The airport was originally used as a wartime airbase for the US Air Force in

Second World War.

It's got one of the longest runways in the country, and if all goes according

plan, the new terminal building should open in 2000 and...

That concludes the Jason Murdoch tour.

You'd better check in. Might not end your flight after all.

Ten minutes late for my briefing.

Jason.

Go, go, go.

I've been paging you.

Yeah, a slight medical problem.

Why aren't you in the briefing?

Because the flight was delayed. Went to heck in Paris.

I'd ask you who your little friend was if I didn't know already.

Playing with Ferrari, weren't you?

Don't know what you mean.

Goldilocks.

Does Captain Beard live pride and joy?

His 17 -year -old daughter?

Hang on a minute.

Not so fast.

I believe I have to thank you for giving Georgina a guided tour of the airport.

Very public -spirited of you.

I'm no problem, Captain.

She's a bright girl.

One word of caution.

I've spent a large fortune on my daughter, making sure she doesn't have

with a grubby little oik like you. Don't even think about being a damsel.

That port couldn't be further from my mum.

Don't fancy Jason a son -in -law material, then.

Just keep your eyes on the road.

Gear down. Blast 15 and the landing checklist, please. Gear down.

Blast 15.

Cabin crew, 20 minutes to landing.

Buckle. Get back.

It might clear if we recycle the gear, do you agree?

Okay, gear up.

Gear up.

I've seen you.

Living around the skipper with pride and joy.

You ought to do well, Claire.

Richard, I love your balls.

Too late.

His daughter got there first.

Well, what's life worth if you can't take a few risks?

Aye, aye.

Undercarriage has been retracted.

You want to watch Richard doesn't do that to you.

Thanks.

Come on.

Just raise your legs for me.

Any better?

Oh, yeah, much. Thanks.

Thanks for moving me.

That's all right. I can't leave you all squashed up in this condition.

Because we need the toilet, too. I remember.

Have you been through this?

He's nearly six.

Oh, he's gorgeous.

His name's Louis.

Still no joy. All right.

Okay, I think we should go around.

I agree.

Go around, left side.

Left side.

First 105, we have a landing gear problem. We're going around.

Roger, Mayday. Fresh 1 -0 -5. Emergency services alerted and standing by.

Roger, Tower. I reckon we have about 20 minutes of fuel to play with before we

get into our reserves.

Time to flip the old boot switch.

X.

Senior member of the cabin crew to the flight deck immediately, please.

Morning, darling.

Slight snag. I need you to go and look at the undercarriage and tell me if you

can see whether the landing gear is locked.

or not.

Are you serious?

There's a pressure -proof window under the carpet. If you look down at the

wheel, you'll see three red lines.

They're all lined up, and the wheel is locked, and we're fine.

And if they're not?

I need you to be fairly sharpish.

I'm going to make an announcement to the patterns.

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure you've noticed we've decided not to... Let's

up.

We've just joined the holding patterns at the airport...

I'd like you to help me with the rubber knickers while I check under the floor

section. Excuse me, madam. Can I just ask you to move for one minute while I

check under the floor section, please? Thank you very much.

Thank you.

Marker, a moment, please.

Excuse me, can I just ask you to sit back in your seat, thank you.

Thanks very much.

Is everything okay?

Nothing your old man can't handle.

I'll make our fuel enough for eight minutes.

What's keeping you?

Come on, Janice.

Well? It's hard to tell. In your opinion?

Almost.

Thank you.

Everything is all right. It's fine.

Almost? What kind of an answer is almost?

Marco checked as well.

How much fuel?

Five minutes.

Right. We're out of time.

What about the landing gear?

We have to assume the wheel isn't locked.

We'll have to alert the tower to a full emergency landing.

Janice, if you could brief the crew on emergency procedures, and I'll talk to

the passengers.

Janice, if you could tell my daughter that everything will be fine, and tell

I love her.

Palmer Tower, Mayday, Mayday, Mayday.

This is Press 105 requesting clearance for full emergency landing.

So what's the story?

The undercarriage is down, but they're not sure whether it's locked in position

or not.

That's when we try and land, we could just... Let's keep positive and get on

with our job.

I'll make an announcement shortly. I'd like you three to get in your place to

position.

We've checked out our technical fault and unfortunately, as now appears, we

a problem with one of our wheel locking mechanisms.

Would you please give your cabin crew your fullest attention as they run

emergency procedures?

Let's just remember that the safest cabin is the calmest cabin. So for their

sake, such a routine, nothing to worry about.

Start thinking about AVP. Do you understand?

Able -bodied persons.

Back up in case we... That's right.

Time to put that training into practice.

This is an emergency announcement.

I repeat, this is an emergency announcement.

It may shortly be necessary to make an emergency landing.

Please listen very carefully to the following instructions.

Adopt the brace position when you hear the command, brace, brace.

Well done, John.

Thank you. I have control.

Would you like to bring your seatbelt, please?

Chill out, mate. It's all right. Help is all the time.

Jase, don't bullshit me.

My dad's the pilot, remember?

Yeah, exactly. It's going to be fine, all right? Yeah, I can help.

All right, come with me.

I can't get my head between my knees.

All right, do the best that you can.

Nothing's going to happen to you, baby.

Or you.

OK? I promise.

Okay, look, if I'm incapacitated, you open the door using this lever here, all

right? And then the chute... And I release it by pulling the red tag on the

doorframe? Yeah, good.

1 ,000 feet.

Visual.

Mayday. Fresh. 1 -0 -5. Commencing our approach to land.

That one couldn't take a seat below.

Get ready to call for break.

Right.

I'm going to put it down gently on the port main gear first, and then either on

the starboard main gear as the speed drops off.

If it doesn't hold, then at least we'll reduce the risk of fire.

Understood. We get one shot at this. If I put it down too hard and that gear

doesn't hold... 200 feet.

Stand by to brace.

100 feet.

50. Brace, brace, brace.

Brace, brace!

Brace, brace!

Brace, brace!

Well, congratulations, Mr. Bryson, on your first successful emergency landing.

Ladies and gentlemen, we have now landed at Parma International Airport.

You okay?

Shit.

What was that?

Better check on the passengers.

Well, that's it.

I'm becoming a nun.

Hey! What up, guys?

Bet you were cacking yourself, weren't you?

God, yeah. Change of trousers for Marco.

As clear as we've done here, I'd like you three to come with me, please.

Oh, great.

We're going to get held up now with all that debriefing bollocks.

I just wanted to say thank you so much for everything.

And give Louis a kiss from me, OK?

Well, thank you. You're welcome. Bye.

Bye.

Louis? Where's Louis?

And just for the record, I will be mentioning in my report how well you

handled the situation.

With a calm professionalism that's a credit to the airline.

Wow. Was that a compliment?

I've also arranged for a standby crew to cover your remaining sexes, so you will

get the next 24 hours off. Result?

Now, as you all know, there will be counselling available, should any of you

suffer any post -trauma effects.

It's nothing to be ashamed of.

I'm okay, I think.

Jason? Well, yeah, nothing a few shots of tequila won't sort out.

Get a straight mackerel on the horse, that's what I say.

Talking a witch.

Got a bit hairy back there, didn't it?

I know it's a tad irregular, Janice, but, um, purely medicinal.

Well, maybe just this one thing.

Nice one. I say we hit the town and get completely wankered, given we're not

flying till tomorrow.

You coming, Janice? I've got paperwork to do. You've got to come, hasn't she?

Yeah. Yeah, we should.

I really do have some work to do, can I help you?

Go on.

Just go, go. I'll catch you up.

All right.

Hiya, Mum.

It's me.

Is Louis there?

OK.

I just thought I'd call and see if you're okay.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Um, listen, I've got to go. I'll call you when I get to the hotel, okay?

Mommy loves you.

I love you.

Sorry. I didn't mean to intrude.

You okay?

I'm fine. Intrude.

Little brother.

Same again?

Yeah. I think you've had quite enough already, darling.

So, Leanne, what about you? What went through your mind?

She was probably wondering whether she had her knickers on for St. Peter.

What about you, Marco?

Think you'd have been going to hell?

He's already there, isn't he? He's permanently rostered with Janice.

She's not so bad, you know.

A bit of post -traumatic stress there, mate.

I'm going for slash.

I reckon Marco's got a soft spot for Janice.

Hey. The gent.

Why are you avoiding me, Jason?

I'm not.

Is it Dad?

Does he forget you?

No, I'm not scared of your dad.

Is it her?

Is she your girlfriend?

Leanne, no.

Then what?

Have I done something to offend you? Because a few hours ago, you couldn't

your hands off me. And now, you won't even look me in the eye.

I mean, you do fancy me.

George, just don't pressure me, all right?

I need to churn out. I'll see you later when your dad's gone to bed.

OK?

I have a room booked for Steele, please.

Miss or Mrs?

Miss. OK.

Does it matter?

I have a room for Steele. Janice Steele. S -T -E -E -L.

Fresh?

Yes. We have six rooms, but they already check in. They can't have.

Mr Murdoch, Mr Bailey, Senorita Evans, Senor Bryson, Senor Bursley and Senorita

Bursley.

Great.

So what you've actually done is you've given my room, which is set aside for

fresh crew, you've given that to the pilot's freeloading teenage daughter.

that's what's happened.

Fucking hell.

Right, I'll tell you what.

I tell you what, forget about that. Now, can you just give me a room?

And who is paying?

Well, the airline, obviously.

Listen.

Three hours ago, I was facing an emergency landing.

Have you any idea what that is?

So I don't think that the airline is going to be quibbling over who is paying

for my room.

This is the number.

Of the airline.

Can you phone them and verify this for me, please?

Excuse me, one moment, please.

Yes, we have a room. A suite.

But we have to clean it.

It will be ready in maybe half an hour?

Fine. I'll get something to eat while I'm waiting.

Ah.

What's the problem now?

Lunch finished, actually. Well, I don't want lunch. I just want something to

eat. The restaurant is closed.

You're avoiding me. No, I'm not.

Liar. Don't pretend nothing happened.

What do you reckon happened then?

Well, I'm not sure.

But all I know now is you're chasing Richard's nine -year -old daughter.

She's 17.

And you must know, I'm not chasing her, all right?

So?

So nothing.

I don't know. It was just one of those things. Speak at the moment.

Carlos. Hi, it's Janice.

Janice Steele.

Hi, how are you?

Yeah, yeah, good.

Listen, I was just wondering if... Right.

No, no, that's fine.

Sure.

All right, all right, yeah.

Mrs. Dean, senora, your table for dinner is now ready.

Jockey table.

Dad, are you okay?

I'm fine.

Here, let me help you. I just said that I'm fine.

Can you just leave me alone?

Hey,

are you alright?

Yeah, I'm fine.

That's a nasty scratch.

It's just a scratch.

I'll be fine.

I'll help you back to your hotel.

You really don't have to.

I want to.

Come on, guys.

I'm coming.

Here we go. Please find the unsweet bar from the tree on the left, opening on to

the master bedroom and, of course, the minibar.

Drink, mate.

I never did get a chance to thank you.

It's doing my job.

No different from you.

Your little brother, you're really close.

Don't you have anybody...

What do you want to call her? Family or...? No, not really.

Mother? Father?

No, my dad left when we were six.

And my mum, well, she's a different story altogether.

Here we go, then.

Get these down here. Whiskey and coke for the gentleman and something fruity

sugary for the lady. I call it long, slow splat up against the runway.

Thank you, Marco. You can go now.

That needs to be cleaned.

I'll just get some water.

Cut your eye, too.

It's not so bad.

Why are you doing this?

Because I want to help you.

It's okay.

Sorry,

Marco.

I don't know what came over me.

I'd appreciate it if you didn't mention this evening to anybody.

You don't always have to be superhuman, you know.

You were incredible today.

In my position, people expect me to set an example.

One, two, three, pop.

One, two, three, pop.

One, two, three, pop.

One, two, three, pop.

One, two, three, pop. This is too loud.

Ooh, he's deeper.

What do you mean, pop?

That's right, that's it.

Tommy, I've got a good job about this.

What are you doing, you idiot?

Give me a helmet.

Got it.

Thank you very much.

Right,

I'll go around there for a festival police caution.

Good evening, sir.

Hi, how can I help you?

Come to the hotel.

But you have been making too much noise.

I must warn you, sir, I will do what you tell me to do. Many tickets are in my

pocket. And you, sir, can't do it in a court of law.

Five what?

Right,

well, I'm going to make my wet back to my room.

I won't wet with you. You haven't got to go.

Have fun.

You're playing with fire.

Hey, it's fine.

After the day you've had.

It's only just starting to hit me now.

It's okay.

I

wonder

why I do this job.

Sounds like this, you wonder why any of us do it.

It's not your little brother, is he, Louis?

How did you know?

Hunt, I suppose.

Emma, it's the only other person that knows.

Don't worry, I won't tell anyone.

He could have lost me for good today.

And you know what?

He'd have loved me.

And I think he'd be better off without me.

No.

You're not such a bastard after all.

Bad press.

Probably deserve it, though.

Would you stay with me?

Just for a while?

Do I have to?

Is it that amazing to find out that I don't have ice cubes between my legs?

What? I do know what they say about me.

Yeah, well, they're wrong.

Why aren't you married?

Because I know too much about married men.

There was somebody once.

Pilot.

I'm much older than you are now, actually, when I first met him.

He swore that he loved me, of course.

But he couldn't leave his wife because of the kids.

So I spent every birthday, every Christmas on my own for five... ...lousy

Then I found out that it was also screwing two of the other girls from the

airline.

Oh, well.

At least they had the satisfaction of pouring a full pot of coffee over his

bollocks.

And because of that one guy you gave up on, then?

Not entirely.

Anyway,

you're full of surprises.

First time I met you, I felt sure you butted for Will O 'Brien's team.

All the time I've been having these mad fantasies about you and you've been

thinking I was gay.

What fantasy?

What fantasy?

You don't want to know.

Only if I do.

Easy, Barger.

Do you want a drink?

Now? No.

I just need to... Ray! Ray!

It's Dad, isn't it?

Jase, you won't find out.

I think I'm the virgin for St Mary anyway.

Jase? Ray!

Jason?

Jason?

Jason?

Are you okay?

Undercarriage has been retracted.

I repeat, this is an emergency announcement.

200 feet.

Stand by to brace.

John, wake up. It's Jason.

So? He can't find you here.

Why? Why do you think?

What if Emma finds out?

Come on.

Quick, get on the balcony.

I'm just stupid.

What's wrong?

Jay?

Hey, are you... Are you okay?

Fine.

No side effects or anything?

No.

Are you okay?

Yeah.

It's just...

You

just fell asleep. That's all.

Great. I don't get it. What's the big problem, anyway?

Hello?

In case you've forgotten, Emma's my best friend.

What if he tells her you stayed the night?

Even if something had happened between us, what would Emma care, anyway? She's

married.

Hold on a second.

You want Emma to find out, don't you?

You want to make her jealous.

You really are a bastard, after all. It was you who asked me to stay, remember?

Get out! Come on, just get out!

Morning.

Hey. You need to get up.

Wait ten minutes and then make sure that nobody sees you.

Nobody.

I don't want to think you're ashamed of me.

Ten minutes.

Morning, Pop.

I called for you. Did you?

I'm going to swim in the shower.

Looking tired, Jason.

Yeah, er...

A bit of a late one, isn't there?

Here. Let me.

Ah!

I find you've laid a finger on my daughter. It won't be your hand I burn.

Jase.

You've got it totally wrong about me and John.

Like I care.

Jason!

Listen.

About what you were saying.

If you've got a problem, you should speak to Janice.

I'm fine, thank you.

What do you think you're doing?

Having my breakfast.

No.

Excuse me? Not here.

Marco, let me explain something to you.

What happened last night was a one -off.

A fleeting aberration.

People behave strangely after traumatic events.

Behave strangely?

Marco, I have a position.

It's called being your boss.

And what happened is not compatible with that.

Last night was a one -off which we will both forget about.

Something that neither of us will ever mention again until I make myself clear.

Are you threatening me, Janice?

You're a bright boy, Marco.

You figure it out.

Fine.

Gracias. Gracias.

Oh, Janice will have your balls. The bus is outside, mate.

Is it the same plane?

What? The plane we're going back on, is it the same one?

Well, I expect so.

So the same thing could go wrong?

Jason, nothing did go wrong. It was either a faulty bit of wiring or a light

bulb that was on the blink. But they fixed it overnight.

That kind of electrical problems happen all the time.

You haven't got a problem with flying, have you?

No.

Well, then, look, is this something to do with Leanne?

No.

She can do whatever she wants.

Just give us a minute, yeah?

Hola.

Um, if I want to go to London, but not flying?

Not flying?

Yeah. How can I get there? And, uh, cuánto costa?

You will need to take the ferry from Parma to Barcelona.

It's about seven hours.

But you missed it for today.

Then train from Barcelona... Jacob!

Where the hell have you been?

God, you look a disgrace.

Where's your luggage?

upstairs. Well, get it now. I'll check you out.

Two minutes, Jason, and I'm counting.

Hola.

That's fine, thank you. You're on the left -hand side. Jason?

Good morning.

You overdid it last night.

Don't expect any sympathy from me.

I can still smell the alcohol on your breath.

Now, if you're not fit to queue, you take off that badge and you fly back at

passenger. This is not the last you can do. I'm telling you, it's a virus or

something. I need to fly back tomorrow, please.

Oh, right, and you want Fresh to pick up the bill while you put your seat up?

On your back.

Good morning.

Yep, that's an hour.

Janice, Jason Murdock goes anywhere near my daughter I want to know about.

That's fine, thank you.

Are you okay?

Yeah, it's just a glass of water or something.

That's fine, thank you very much.

Thank you, you're on the lesson side.

Jason, you're not flying. When do you think you should be in the cabin?

Poor little Janice, aren't you?

Just fill out the locker.

If I could just have your attention now for the next few moments while we run

through a short demonstration of the safety features on board the 77200.

There are six exits.

Two at the front of the plane, two over the wings, and two at the rear.

In the unlikely event of a loss of cabin pressure... Crew,

cease to take off.

Jay! Jay!

Lee, come on, we need to do the trolley.

He's been in there for ages.

Give him a few minutes, he'll be OK.

So come on, then.

Who was she?

Sorry? You were meant to come back with a booze, remember?

Ah, so you did come off with someone.

Jay! Are you all right in there, mate?

Do you know what?

You've been out of it all day.

Yeah, I know. I want to swim down the front galley before.

What?

Great. Thank you.

Cover for me while I look to the moon.

Yes, sure, John.

You were on about last night.

I haven't got time for this. OK? I had nothing to do with Emma.

Yeah, right.

Listen to me.

Look, is it so inconceivable that I might actually like you?

Well, you've never noticed me before.

In fact, you've never seen past Emma.

Well, that was then.

You change your tune pretty fast. Look, you invited me to stay.

Did I try anything on?

Well, did I?

No.

But Jason's going to be here any second.

Well, I don't care. Well, I do.

Emma's my best friend. Oh, Emma, Emma, Emma.

It's you that I want.

He's been in the first aid kit. He's taken the tranquilizer.

Jason!

Jason, get an ambulance.

Come in here.

Hail the joy and hail the fun.

Now it's time for me to get on top of the world.

Got the world in my...

We'll be right back.