Original subtitles

All right, look, Meg, stop knocking me out about this, all right? She's just a

college girl interested in journalism.

What, she does not have a crush on me, and besides, this is none of your

business. I'm just saying, she seems a little young.

You've had lunch with her. You must have peeked in her lunchbox.

Does her mom pack ho -hos or ding -dong?

Hilarious.

Has she invited you to carry a book bag yet, or is it too soon in the

relationship?

I'm not far ready. Coffee, please, Abe.

I'm sorry, Jack. I have just never seen a girl fall all over a guy like that.

And I find it interesting that you're doing nothing to squelch it. Wait, wait,

wait. Now, who's falling all over Jack?

Well, your friend Maggie has been jogging behind a bus again. The fumes

getting to her.

There's this new intern at the paper.

Twenty -one. She's a very serious journalism student.

Twenty -one.

She's young.

Twenty -one.

Look, she's extremely bright. She was recommended by the dean of the

school at NYU, and she looks up to me as a mentor, and that's it. She looks up

to you, all right.

Oh, Jack, no one writes a compound sentence like you.

And then she calls you a modern -day H .L. Mencken?

Well, somebody's got to be.

Remember when women flattering men was a good thing?

They'd read books about it, take courses.

Now you're lucky if they don't nail you right between the eyes with pepper

spray. Oh, Jack.

Yeah, you know, just once, tell us men how strong and brave and manly we are.

We get tired of just hearing it from each other.

Ah, where's my peppered spray?

Come on, calm down, calm down. Now listen, Jack, that girl has a crush on

and I think you're really enjoying it.

What did I just hear? What's going on? Who has a crush on Jack? Oh, God.

Her name is Stephanie.

She's interning at our paper.

She's a college student.

Oh, Jack.

For God's sake, it's not what you think. The woman simply has a professional

interest in her. So does the woman on the corner in hot pants who pulls her

top up over her head.

Got a college student jack.

This could be very dangerous.

It could put an enormous strain on your physical plant.

No, no, think about this.

Paramedics racing to her dorm room in the middle of the night, trying

to revive your aging cardiovascular system.

Just the way AAA has to throw a charge into my Bonneville every now and then.

I don't care what your rationale is for it, Jack. He's 21 years old, and that's

too young for you.

Don't say another word until I get back.

Chicken, fish, enjoy your lunch. Can we get some extra... What, it's about 21?

Who the hell is 21 anymore?

You know what? I don't think this concerns you, Dana.

Jack's feeling a little old, so he's playing around with a child woman. It's

making him feel temporarily better.

Oh, gee, Jack.

I never figured you for the type.

There's nothing to explain.

This is a young woman with a very promising career ahead of her.

She's very bright. She's looking to me for advice and counsel.

She's very bright. She's already had a piece printed on the op -ed page.

Bright, bright, bright.

Do you mind?

I'm helping.

Jay, let's just put this into perspective.

Ten years ago, you were 32.

Ten years ago, she was 11.

You were writing about Reaganomics. She was picking out knee socks to match her

kilt.

You know what?

I'm shocked at you, really.

I mean, this is a gal trying to achieve her goals, and you automatically assume

that there are some ulterior motives.

Let me ask you, if she was a man, wouldn't you expect me to be her mentor?

mean, am I right?

Well, I... Look, she's a good student. She's a hard worker.

She went to Europe on a Fulbright, for God's sakes. Look, I'm just trying to

help a promising kid.

And to be honest, I've never even noticed what she looks like.

Jack, there you are.

Did I also mention she's an organ donor? It's right there in your lunchbox.

Oh, Jack, I had to find you.

I just got a look at the galleys for tomorrow's paper, and your column is

brilliant. I mean, the way you developed the theme and the construction of the

lead paragraph, well, it's nothing short of a work of art.

Well, it's my job.

I've been doing it a long time now.

Yeah?

Aren't you going to introduce me to your young friend?

Oh, uh, right. Stephanie Crosley, this is Dana Palladino. Hi. Hi. Dana's the

chef here, and she's a very busy woman.

Probably has to pop right back in the kitchen and behead something.

Nope. Everyone's been served.

So this is pretty great. A woman chef in a New York restaurant. I've heard how

many barriers there are to women in this field.

Yes. Thank you. It wasn't easy.

I mean, my generation owes a real debt of gratitude to women like you who were

there at the dawn of the feminist movement.

Hey, let me introduce you to some other people over here. Come on. Here we go.

This is my good friend, Ray Litvak. How do you do?

Jack's told us how bright you are.

This is Abe Johnson. He's the owner of the restaurant.

Nice to meet you, Stephanie. Can I get you something to drink?

Um, sure.

I'll have a glass of white wine. All right.

Well, there... Stephanie, I think we're going to have to check that ID.

Oh, no problem. I'm 21, but I know, I look young for my age. It's a curse,

really.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, you are an organ donor.

Hello there. I'm Nadine Berkus. You must be Jack's little friend.

You have a lot of friends, don't you, Jack? Too many, really.

Jack tells us you're a college girl.

She's a senior.

Oh, a senior.

Oh, nice.

too late at the beer blast, okay, Jack, in case she has homework.

Look, Stephanie, why don't you tell them what you got in your SAT scores?

They were high, very high.

Oh, we've already established Stephanie's very bright.

Stop, you're embarrassing me.

Besides, testing is such an obsolete way of judging true intelligence.

I prefer to be judged on my achievements.

And I'd be happy if I could learn to be half the writer Jack is. Oh, Stephanie,

would you really be all that happy if you were only two and a half feet tall?

Listen, Jack,

I have to run to my afternoon class, but I was wondering, well, if you could go

out to dinner with me tonight.

You promised to finish that story about how you landed your first assignment.

Oh, gee, Stephanie, I don't... Oh, I don't mean any place fancy. In fact, we

could even eat on campus. I still have two punches left on my cafeteria card.

You know what, Stephanie?

That is a great idea. I would love to have dinner with you tonight.

But you know what? Dress up. I'm going to take you to a real restaurant.

Really? Oh, that's great.

Oh, Jack, I'm really looking forward to this.

I can be ready by eight. Perfect.

Oh, and it was very nice meeting all of you. I can definitely see why Jack hangs

out here. He must get so much material.

Men and women with years of life, sometimes cruel experiences written on

faces.

Banding together in a world that somehow seems to have forgotten their dreams.

It's very rich.

Well, bye.

I bet she almost makes you forget that you have to grunt every time you get up

out of a chair.

Yeah, old Jack's messed up all right.

Finding himself attracted to a beautiful female who's attracted to him and

thinks he's a pretty great guy.

I had no idea he was so sick.

Now, come on, you're missing the point. He's taking the easy way out. How hard

can it be to impress somebody that young, Dad?

That's right, it's a lot more difficult to be with a woman your own age because

she might just realize you are not the only man in the world old enough to rent

a car.

Yeah, right now all Stephanie has to compare you to is her last boyfriend.

biggest accomplishment was reading The Hobbit over a three -day weekend.

Wait, why are you just sitting there defending me? Hey, Jack, do you think

Stephanie's got a friend?

Oh, now, suddenly you have to be in the kitchen.

You know, Dana, I think I've gotten to know you pretty well these last few

months, and I must say you're very easy to read.

I know what's bothering you here.

You're jealous.

Jealous? Jealous of what?

Jealous of the fact that someone is interested in me and I'm taking her out

tonight. Well, you know you're not the only one around here, Dave. What's that

supposed to mean? It means that I happen to be going out myself this evening.

You are?

With who?

Is that any of your business?

Where are you going?

Why do you care?

I know.

I don't even know why I'm asking.

We're going to St.

Emilion. Oh, that sounds French.

It is.

Candles on the tables? Yeah.

Music? Yeah.

Dancing? Yeah.

So it's a serious thing. Could be.

Oh. Well, that's good.

I'm very glad for you, Dana.

Because lately I've been getting worried about you.

Uh -huh. Yeah. Well, you have a very lovely time this evening. I don't even

that. Yeah, you too, Jack.

But do get Stephanie back on time. You know, they like to have them back in

those dorms before curfew.

Oh, a lot you know.

Seniors don't have curfews.

I think you'll find this table satisfactory,

madam. Would you care to wait for the gentleman before ordering a cocktail?

No, I think I'll have a glass of champagne, thanks. Very good.

Oh, my God.

Jack Stein, what the hell are you doing here?

Oh, hi, Dana.

Don't be coy with me. You've come here to spy on me. Admit it. No, the only

reason I came here is I respect your taste in restaurants. I could care less

about your social life.

So, where's your big date?

He's not here.

Where's Duffy? She's a little late.

Oh, dear, did she forget the combination to a locker?

Hi, Jack.

I hope you haven't been waiting too long. I've just never been to a

this sophisticated before, and I wasn't sure what to wear.

Is this all right?

Oh, it's fine.

Fine.

But let me ask you, shouldn't there be a five -day waiting period before they

allow you to buy a dress like that?

recognize you without your apron on.

Hey, what a coincidence.

People always say New York is so big, but it's really very small.

Almost claustrophobic.

Oh,

here we go. Hi there.

Reservation for two under Stein.

Good for you.

Excuse me. I said we have a reservation for two.

Jack, this is my date.

But who's going to show us to our tables?

And you cut all your hair off. What the hell made you do a thing like that?

Don't you like it? I love it.

How about you? Where'd you get that tan?

A little deep -sea fishing off the coast of Mallorca. It's something to recharge

the batteries.

Who's this?

Oh, this is a friend of mine, Jack Stein, and his friend, Stephanie.

Hi. Oh, what's going on here? They only let out the beautiful women tonight?

Oh, this is Anthony Galassi. He owns the Galassi Gallery in Soho. I think I've

mentioned him to you, too. All right. Nice to see you.

Hey, are you the Jack Steiner right at the column? One and the same, you know

it? Oh, hell, I never miss it.

You really like rubbing people the wrong way, don't you?

I admire that in a man.

You know, I've always been interested in the newspaper business.

Maybe I should buy one.

What do you think, Dana? I think whatever you want, you get.

Mr. Gillespie, I'm so sorry I didn't see you come in. Oh, come on, Paul. You

don't have to kiss my ass. You'll get your tip.

I hope you have a good table for my friends here. This is Jack Stein, the

columnist.

Oh.

Well, their table will be just a few minutes. They're preparing it now in the

other room.

The other room?

What'd you do, Stein? Murder your parents?

No, no, Paul. They have to be in here with us.

Well, there isn't really. It's okay. Paul, why don't you just put us all at a

big table?

Oh, Anthony, really, I don't think we should assume that Jack and Stephanie

company. I mean, if she has anything to talk about... Oh, I don't mind.

I would be really interested to hear how someone decides to buy an entire

newspaper. Well, then it's a done deal.

Come on, Paul, let's go while I'm still young.

All right, Dana, who is this guy? Have you been volunteering at the retirement

home in your spare time?

I hardly think Anthony Gillespie is ready for the old age home.

He happens to be a friend of my father's. I've been attracted to him

a kid. Oh, my God. The wonderful world of Gentiles. Feel the magic.

You got a lot of nerve giving me grief about Stephanie when this car just got

years on you easy. How dare you compare my situation to your ridiculous

relationship with Gidget.

We'll have a bottle of the 74 Sterling Special Reserve.

How does that sound to you, Stephanie?

Sounds like something I'm going to enjoy trying.

Oh, an adventurous spirit. That's good.

Oh, 1974.

That was an interesting year, wasn't it?

I can remember sitting in a bar, watching Nixon walk down that red carpet

White House lawn, get into his helicopter, and close up a chapter of

history. Yeah, I was living in Italy then. I remember running all over town

trying to find American Newsweek so I could read every detail.

I was having dinner with Roy Lichtenstein.

I stayed up all night drinking bourbon while Roy worked on some sketches trying

to capture the mood of the country.

I was one.

But I just wrote a paper about it for my American history final. I examined the

sociological repercussions of the American psyche in the post -Watergate

She's very bright.

I'm exploring the development of contemporary values through popular

News is good, huh?

So, has anyone seen the new Snoop Doggy Dog video?

I don't really owe it to you.

Frankly, you know, I haven't bought a record made in the last 20 years. Bob

Dylan's my cutoff point.

Yeah, I'm kind of a purist myself. I like the old Billie Holiday recordings,

know, and Ella.

Come on, you two sound like a couple of old squares.

Any kind of music is interesting.

Stephanie, why don't you tell me more about that paper you're writing?

Oh, Dana, I think we have a crisis here.

Should we really have ordered the red wine or it plays havoc with the

You should talk.

You can't relate to her on any level but her youth and her looks.

Why do you think that guy's dating you?

My relationship with Anthony is much deeper than that.

Oh, God, you're such a hypocrite, Dana.

Anthony's rich and successful. Is that really why you're attracted to him?

I'm attracted to the man, not the resume.

I don't see you dating a 65 -year -old plumber.

Will you be tasting the wine, Mr. Gillespie? Yes, thank you, Paul.

I think I'll go to the ladies' room, if you don't mind.

Oh, I'll go with you, Dana.

Nectar of the gods.

Go ahead, Paul, you can pour for my good friend Jackie.

And I think you'll find that this vintage packs a very nice wallet.

Gotta love this wine.

So, Jack, how about a toast, huh?

To young women.

We're both dating them.

I guess that says something about us.

Yeah.

What?

We're smart as hell.

Yeah, I guess we are.

Anthony, let me ask you something.

You ever have a problem finding common ground? You know, things to talk about?

I'm 65 years old, Jack. I'm done talking.

And to tell you the truth, I only listen to myself anyway.

So, we have something in common tonight.

Oh, what's that?

We're both the younger woman.

I guess so.

I've never dated anyone as old as Jack before.

Oh, Jack's not really all that old.

I don't know about that. I'm pretty sure he's over 35.

Ouch.

Jack's not just interested in me because he's having a midlife crisis or

anything. I would hate to be a cliche.

Well, Stephanie, I think any time a man dates a woman who's so much younger,

that has to be part of it.

Well, I admire the fact that you're secure enough with yourself to make some

peace with the situation.

I wasn't talking about me and Anthony.

Oh.

I'm just about done.

Not bad.

Ugh. I don't know why I put all this makeup on my face tonight.

I look much better without it.

want to get anywhere.

By the time I'm 22, I want to be working on a respected -based paper.

By the time I'm 23, I want to have at least been nominated for a press club

award. And if I don't have a byline on the front page above the fold by the

I'm 25, forget it.

I'm a failure.

Oh, man, are you in for a rude awakening?

Life just doesn't work like that, at least mine didn't.

When I was 25, I was selling Christmas trees to make extra money.

And I'm Jewish.

Listen, I don't think... We should be trying to squelch Stephanie's

Life is tough enough.

Right now, she has that thirst for life, that rightness.

She's like a fresh peach, unblemished. And I find that very... refreshing.

This is a pretty good band.

Hey, isn't this the song that Bono sang with, um... What's his name on that duet

album?

Sinatra?

It's the only way to de -stress myself from all the pressure of being part of a

generation that has to compete in a world of diminishing opportunities and

irradiated vegetables.

When I was your age, my generation just opted for substance abuse.

But then most of us are dead now.

So, Jack, do you want to dance?

I think this has enough of a beat for me. I could teach you how to move like

Bobby Brown.

The baseball commissioner?

What? Can you believe these two?

Come on.

I'm ready for a spin on the floor.

I don't know this dance, but you can teach me.

Great.

Hey, don't bogart that bottle, okay?

Oh, my God.

Is she teaching him the latest dance steps?

Yep. He's trying desperately to swivel to the beat?

Yep. Because if he doesn't look out, all the pins are going to pop out of his

hip.

Look away, Dana. You may have flashbacks later.

I'm forcing myself. It's helping me get over my crush.

What about all his accomplishments?

Rich, successful, well -traveled, and he has excellent taste in wine.

Oh, he's a great guy.

Just a guy who's not very comfortable in his own skin right now.

What about you?

Oh, I like the age I am.

I liked 21, but I like this better.

Oh, boy.

I shouldn't stare too long without special glasses.

It's one of my favorite songs.

Me too.

Would you maybe... I'd love to.

I feel like a kid in a comic book store.

This feels good.

Nice and slow.

I don't want anything to go too fast anymore.

I'm in no hurry.

So what were you like when you were 21?

Oh, you wouldn't like me.

I thought I knew everything.

Oh, not like now, huh?

I think that Anthony and Stephanie have found each other.

Yeah, it's just as well.

I wasn't looking forward to meeting her parents.

I was very nervous in situations like that.

Especially when they're younger than me.

You're a pretty good dancer, you know.

You're not bad yourself.

1964.

The Beatles on Ed Sullivan.

1954.

Don't push it.