Original subtitles

♪ green acres is The place to be ♪

♪ farm livin' is The life for me ♪

♪ land spreadin' Out, so far and wide ♪

♪ keep manhattan, just Give me that countryside ♪

♪ new york is where I'd rather stay ♪

♪ I get allergic smelling hay ♪

♪ I just adore a Penthouse view ♪

♪ darling, I love you, But give me park avenue ♪

♪ the chores ♪

♪ the stores ♪

♪ fresh air ♪

♪ times square ♪

♪ you are my wife ♪

♪ goodbye city life ♪

♪ green acres, we are there ♪

Ooh.

Ooh!

Oliver! Oliver!

Oliver, the television Set is broken again.

Oh? What's wrong with it?

I don't know, the screen Does funny things.

Well, maybe it's a Comedy program.

I don't think so.

It just has wiggly lines.

Mmm, maybe it's an Eyeglass commercial.

Will you please fix it?

Lisa, I don't know how To fix a television set.

But will you try?

I've already missed a Half a million dollars

Of the million dollars movie.

All right, don't lose my place.

All right. This Is where you are.

You didn't have... Oh.

This is the television set.

You don't have to tell me that.

Well, I didn't want you to Fix the bed, that's all right.

Good.

♪

That's what it was doing before.

Except that you Could hear the picture,

But you couldn't see the sound.

Now you can see the sound,

But you can't hear the picture.

I don't know what it could be.

Maybe it's a radio program.

They don't broadcast radio Programs over a television set.

you've just heard an episode

of radio's favorite Program: myrt and marge.

myrt and ma...

we now resume Television broadcasting.

this is w.P.I.X.L. Radio,

and w.P.I.X.L. T.V., broadcasting On the same frequency.

I don't believe it.

hello out there In television land.

welcome back to the 2nd half million dollars

of our million-dollar movie.

tonight starring Rochelle hudson...

That's what happened When I kicked it.

Oh, well, don't you know y-you Shouldn't kick a television set?

Well, you just did.

Yeah, but I was Trying to fix it.

Well, you didn't. And now I Can't watch the program.

Haven't you got Anything else to do?

Well, I could write a letter.

Good idea.

Uh, who shall I write to?

Oh, write to one Of your friends.

Which one?

Oh, write to, uh, any of them.

But if I write to one I have To write to all of them,

Otherwise, they get hurt.

All right. Write to all of them.

I only got one And I lost her name.

Uh, lisa, let me read my book.

There, here's your place.

Oh, thank you.

Do you think your mother Would like to get a letter?

I'm sure she would.

Oh, why don't you write to her?

She knows my handwriting.

Oh.

Why don't you write to her?

What'll I tell her? We are, or We aren't going to the opera?

The opera?

You know, where They sing the stories

In all different languages Which nobody understands,

But there are always A lot of people,

Because everybody wants to see

What everybody else is wearing.

Yeah, that's a very Good description.

Then I can tell her we're Going to the opening?

When is it?

Next week.

Oh, I can't go next week,

That's the busiest Time of the year for me.

Well, it's the first time we're not Going to the opera since we are married.

Well, I'm sorry.

That we got married?

No, no, no, no, no. That we're Going to miss the opening.

Then why can't we go?

Lisa, I can't go. That's my final

Absolute last word.

All right, darling, when you Make up your mind let me know.

Oliver! What you doing up there?

I'm hammering on Some new shingles.

Well, watch it.

You just dropped a nail In one of my hotcakes.

Leave it there. It'll dissolve.

Well, that's the first time You insulted my hotcakes

Through a hole in the roof.

I'll have to come Up here more often.

Well, that wasn't Very funny, morton.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Sorry enough to take Me to the opera opening?

Will you forget About that opera?

You kept me awake all Night nagging about the... Oh!

Oh, are you all right?

Wait there, I'll be right down.

Are you all right?

I beg your pardon?

Well the... The... The hammer slipped...

The hammer slipped Out of my hand.

Excuse me.

Harvey!

Breakfast is ready.

Harvey?

Lisa.

Who's lisa?

Now don't worry, lisa.

Who's lisa?

Uh, the doctor says You're gonna be all right.

Oh, thank you Mister... Uh, mister...

I'm oliver.

Oh, thank you, mr. I'm oliver.

If you see harvey, Would you tell him

That breakfast will Be a little bit late?

Who's harvey?

I gave her a sedative.

Let's go in the Living room and talk.

What is it, doctor?

A mild concussion.

But, uh, don't you Worry about it.

She'll get over it. All She needs is some rest.

And you'd better have Somebody else cook, uh,

What's-his-name, Harvey's breakfast.

I don't know any harvey.

You don't?

No. How come she Can remember his name,

She can't remember mine?

Sidney.

Sidney!

There, she remembered it.

My name is not Sidney, it's oliver.

Oh?

She can't even Remember her own name.

Well, sometimes, In cases like these,

There is a temporary amnesia.

But you just be Patient with her.

It'll pass.

Now, you just Have this filled out.

And if you need Me, just call me.

Yes, thank you, doctor.

Say, was mrs. Douglas standing there When you threw the hammer at her?

I didn't throw it, it slipped.

Is that what you're Gonna tell the sheriff?

The sheriff?

Turned a little pale When I mentioned him.

Eb, will you... I'm just Trying to cheer you up.

Cheer me up?

Look, go to bed, will you?

I'll finish the Dishes. Yes, sir.

If mom needs Anything, just call me.

She's not your mom.

You gonna tell the Sheriff that, too?

Good night, eb.

Yes, sir.

Oh, you're up.

You feel better?

Better than what?

Lisa.

Who's lisa?

By the way, claude,

As soon as you've Washed up the dishes,

You can take the Rest of the night off.

The rest of...

And I won't need you tomorrow,

Because mr. Fredericks Is taking me bowling.

Who's mr. Fredericks?

How long have you been Working for me, claude?

Well, uh...

Then you should know Who mr. Fredericks is.

Look... And another thing,

If you don't keep this place Cleaner, I'm going to call

The agency and tell them To send me someone else.

She thinks I'm the butler.

Well, what made her think that?

Well, I was washing dishes...

Does your butler Usually wash them?

We don't have a butler.

Did you have one in the city?

No.

Well, maybe Mr. Fredericks had one.

I don't know any mr. Fredericks.

Now mr. Douglas,

There's no need for You to upset yourself.

She'll snap out of this.

But what do I do In the meantime?

Just act normally.

♪

Well, how are you feeling?

Fine.

Oh, good.

Excuse me, what do you Think you're doing, claude?

Well, I'm, uh, I'm, uh, Getting undressed.

Oh, boy.

Look, I...

Button the vest.

Don't be silly. I've got to Get undressed to get to bed.

Help!

Stop yelling.

Then button the vest.

No, I'm going to get...

Help!

All right, I'll button it.

There is still one button open.

That doesn't... Help!

All right, I'll button it.

You butlers sure have Funny ideas about things.

I'm not your butler. I'm...

Don't come any closer.

Well, no, I was...

Help!

All right!

Take a good look at me.

Do you know who I am?

Claude.

I'm not claude.

Well, you're certainly not mr. Fredericks, Because you haven't got a bowling ball.

Is the name oliver Familiar to you?

Yes. Good.

Where have you heard it before?

It's my mother's name.

It's a lucky thing for you That my husband isn't here.

What?

He went to chicago on business.

I'm your husband!

Then why aren't you In chicago on business?

Look, you go to sleep and we'll Talk this thing over in the morning.

I won't have time In the morning,

Robert's coming for breakfast.

Robert?

That proves you're Not my husband,

Otherwise you would Know it's my sister's name.

Good night.

Good night. And don't Forget to put the children out

Before you go to bed.

Alice, get off. Get off, alice.

Go on, go on.

Ah, morning, mr. Douglas.

Oh, hi, mr. Kimball.

Yeah. Heard the bad News about the amnesia.

Yeah, well... Well, don't Worry, you'll get better.

No, I haven't got amnesia.

Well, you keep saying That over and over

And it'll get better.

I don't have it, Mrs. Douglas has it.

Oh, she caught it from you, huh?

Yeah, I guess it's Pretty contagious.

Uh, mr. Kimball...

Would you mind Breathing the other way?

I don't believe I've ever had it.

Although when I Was a kid I caught, uh...

No, they didn't have That in those days.

Look, mr. Kimball, If you don't mind,

I've been under quite a strain.

You'll get your memory back.

It's my wife, mrs. Douglas.

You're doing fine, you Remember her name.

Mr. Kimball... And mine, too.

Well, I'd say you were Completely cured.

I wish I could say The same for you.

Breakfast is ready, Come and get it.

Come on in and Have some breakfast.

Hotcakes?

Yeah.

If you don't mind, I'll skip it.

I've already used Up all my sick leave.

Mr. Kimball, I'd appreciate It if you'd humor her.

Well, ok.

And don't be surprised if She doesn't recognize you.

Oh, I won't. Just act normal.

Well, see if you can act A little better than that.

Well, good morning.

Oh, good morning, mr. Kimball.

Who's mr. Kimball? You are.

You said she Wouldn't recognize me.

But she did. Uh, lisa...

Who's lisa?

Mr. Kimball, won't you Introduce me to your friend?

Oh, yes.

May I present your husband?

Mr. Douglas, I want You to meet your wife.

I-I-I don't need to be Introduced to my own wife.

Uh, mr. Kimball, won't you Sit down and have breakfast?

What about my friend?

Yeah, if he wants to Stay, it's all right with me.

Sit down, whoever you are.

Thank you.

How come she Recognizes you and not me?

Well, I think that's Pretty easy to explain.

She isn't your wife.

Of course she's my wife.

Wait till you taste These hotcakes.

Nobody in the world can Make hotcakes like my wife.

Here we are.

What's this?

Eggs benedict.

Eggs benedict?

I'll get the biscuits.

Looks delicious.

Don't eat it. It's a trick.

There you are.

Oh, they're... Ooh!

I'll get the coffee.

I don't believe it.

I told you she wasn't your wife.

Well, who do you think she is?

Gee, I don't know, but Whoever she is I'd keep her,

She's a great cook.

She cooked eggs benedict.

Then she's beginning to recover.

She's her old self again.

Her old self knew only how To make those crummy pancakes.

What?

She never made eggs Benedict in her life.

Never made anything.

How do you explain that?

She must have known How to cook at one time.

Not to my knowledge.

Well, maybe you don't know Everything there is to know about her.

I think I do.

You didn't know about harvey.

And that other fellow With the bowling ball.

Fredericks. Yes.

You know, the thing That disturbs me

Is she doesn't even Remember that we're married.

Every time I try to take my Vest off, she yells for help.

We're married, but she Treats me like a stranger.

Hmm.

She was more friendly When I first met her.

Maybe that's the answer. What?

Maybe you've got to Start all over again.

Court her. Oh, doctor.

Win her affection,

Bring her gifts,

Flowers, candy.

I went through all That nonsense before.

It might work.

All right, doctor, I'll try anything.

Haney, I tell you It was a crowbar.

It was an axe Handle. It was a...

Well, here's Mr. Douglas. Ask him.

What did you belt Mrs. Douglas with?

I beg your pardon?

It was a crowbar, wasn't it?

It was an axe handle.

It was a hammer.

Well then the bet's off, fred.

Neither one of us picked a Hit on the head with a hammer.

You fellows were betting On what I hit my wife with?

Oh, pay no attention.

How's mrs. Douglas?

Has she remembered who she is?

No, she hasn't.

She doesn't even Know I'm her husband.

I wish doris was Suffering from that.

Yeah.

How hard do you have to hit 'em?

Will you leave Mr. Douglas alone?

Uh, did you want something?

Yes, I'd like to buy My wife a little gift.

Hey, I've got a nice assortment

Of woman pleasers on my truck.

Haney, mr. Douglas came In here to do his shopping.

Sam, I'm surprised at you.

Stoopin' to sordid Commercialism,

When this poor man needs all The neighborly help he can get.

And, uh, how much was you Figurin' on spendin', mr. Douglas?

Oh, I just wanted Something nice.

I just signed up to handle

The world-famous line of Fredericks' bowling balls.

Fredericks?

4-holers.

That's no gift for a woman.

Just something simple Like I used to get before...

Hey, are those caramels?

Yeah, I got a whole Bin full on special.

They come assorted.

Chocolate, licorice, And chili flavored.

Chili?

They were very popular when we Were importing field hands from mexico.

Just give me a box of Chocolate flavored.

I don't have a candy box.

Would a shoe box be all right?

Put 'em in a sack.

How about a bottle of bay rum?

Doris finds that Real nice for sniffing

After a hard day's work.

If she likes sniffing,

How about flowers?

Oh, flowers. Yeah, that'd be fine.

How would you like a nice Bouquet of fresh-cut wax roses?

No, no, I don't Want wax flowers.

And I'd like carnations.

I've got them in plastic.

No, no, uh, uh, real ones.

She likes real ones.

You can get those in pixley.

Here you are, mr. Douglas.

12 pounds of caramels.

I don't need...

That's the way they come, 12 pounds for 50 cents,

Unless you'd rather have 24 pounds for 80 cents?

No, uh, 12 pounds is fine.

How about some Eisenglass snapdragons? No.

Or rayon dahlias? No!

Nylon forget-me-nots.

Fresh carnations!

Fresh carnations.

Wonder what they're Makin' them out of.

Yes, sir? Did you Wish to see somebody?

My wife.

Who shall I say is calling?

Eb, what are you...

Mrs. Douglas thinks I'm the new butler.

The new butler? You've been fired.

Eb, will you get out of the way?

Who is there, rodney?

That's me.

Uh, there's a Gentleman to see you.

Looks like a big Butter-and-egg man.

Would you care to Check your laundry?

These are caramels.

Now take 'em and Get out of here.

He didn't get any Chili flavored ones.

Hello there.

Hi.

Aren't you the fellow who was Here for breakfast this morning?

Oh, you remember me?

Yes, you left a big ketchup Spot on the tablecloth.

Lisa.

Who's lisa?

Well if you aren't Lisa, what is your name?

Let me see, I think it started

With a "Q" or a Letter like that.

A "Q."

Oh, I brought you a present.

Thank you, where is it?

Here, they're carnations.

Oh, I haven't eaten One of those in years.

Don't you remember that...

Hey, hey!

Don't carnations Mean anything to you?

Yes, it seems that some fellow Brought me some years ago.

Do you remember who?

No.

Could it begin with an "O"?

Yes, that's right.

Oscar.

Could it be oliver?

That's it. Oscar oliver.

Oh, for crying...

You never told me your name.

Oliver wendell douglas.

Oliver wendell douglas.

That seems very familiar.

I must have seen it some...

Are you on television?

No, you saw it on A marriage license.

You're married?

We both are.

Here is your flowers back.

Uh, if you'll excuse Me, I have a date tonight.

Mr. Fredericks is Taking me to the opera.

And when she mentioned

That fredericks was Taking her to the opera,

I got the feeling that She might be faking.

Well, why would she do that?

Well, before she had amnesia,

We had a quarrel about Going to the opera.

Uh, I wouldn't take her.

And you think She's faking amnesia

Just to get even with you?

Oh, I wouldn't put it past her.

Mr. Douglas, I don't Think she'd do a...

Doctor.

Have you ever been Married to a hungarian?

No.

Well, take my word for it, She's capable of anything.

One time in paris

I wouldn't buy a dress for Her, she had me arrested.

Mr. Douglas, that Has no bearing on this.

What you want to find out is Whether or not she has amnesia.

That's right.

Then why don't you Take her to the opera?

♪

It seems pretty fishy That mr. Fredericks

Got sick all of a sudden.

Well, he...

Are you sure you didn't slip Him a mickey or something?

No, no. He got an Attack of indigestion

And he gave me the tickets And told me to take you.

Uh, would you mind, please, Sitting somewhere else?

Why?

Well, it doesn't look right for Me to be seen with a married man.

Why don't you read your program?

Thank you.

Tell me, how did you sneak Out on your wife tonight?

Lisa, will you...

Who's lisa?

Amnesia.

What nasty thing Did you say to them?

I didn't say...

Look, you've made your Point, you're at the opera.

Now relax and enjoy it.

Here, look around.

See if you can find Anybody you know.

Oh! I know him.

That's me.

Oh, you're the fellow Who brought me here.

Yeah.

Oh, there is Someone else I know.

Oh, who?

Harvey!

Hello, harvey!

Yoo-hoo, harvey.

Lisa!

Lisa!

Lisa!

Is she all right, doctor?

Yes, it's just a nasty bump.

Where did she get This other one?

Oh, that's where I Hit her with a hammer.

No, I mean, I... I dropped a...

Where am I?

At the opera.

What happened?

You fell out of the box.

I thought you weren't going To bring me to the opera.

Oh, you remember!

How could I forget It? I nagged you...

Oliver.

Why are you looking At me like that?

Doctor.

She called me oliver.

What's your name?

Oliver.

What's your name? Lisa.

You know your name.

Doctor, she knows her name.

Isn't that wonderful?

Oh, that's very good.

Well, how did I Fall out of the box?

You leaned over the rail.

And you pushed me.

No, you were waving at harvey.

Who's harvey?

The man you used to Have breakfast with.

I don't know any harvey.

Do you know mr. Fredericks?

Who?

The man you used To go bowling with.

I don't know how to bowl.

But you told me...

Mr. Douglas, I think you've had

A little too much Excitement, or booze, or both.

I suggest the both Of you go home.

Call your family physician, He'll give you something...

We don't need anything.

Oh, excuse me.

Ooh!

Oliver, oliver, Are you all right?

Who's oliver?

You are.

Oh, no, I'm sorry, lady.

My name is fredericks. Claude fredericks.

Now, excuse me, I have a date.

I'm going bowling.

this has been a filmways Presentation, darling.