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♪ green acres is
The place to be ♪
2
00:00:29,330 --> 00:00:33,198
♪ farm livin' is
The life for me ♪
3
00:00:33,267 --> 00:00:37,169
♪ land spreadin'
Out, so far and wide ♪
4
00:00:37,238 --> 00:00:41,139
♪ keep manhattan, just
Give me that countryside ♪
5
00:00:41,208 --> 00:00:45,244
♪ new york is where
I'd rather stay ♪
6
00:00:45,312 --> 00:00:49,281
♪ I get allergic smelling hay ♪
7
00:00:49,350 --> 00:00:53,252
♪ I just adore a
Penthouse view ♪
8
00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:56,154
♪ darling, I love you,
But give me park avenue ♪
9
00:00:58,492 --> 00:01:00,558
♪ the chores ♪
10
00:01:00,627 --> 00:01:01,927
♪ the stores ♪
11
00:01:02,562 --> 00:01:03,828
♪ fresh air ♪
12
00:01:04,431 --> 00:01:05,630
♪ times square ♪
13
00:01:05,699 --> 00:01:07,099
♪ you are my wife ♪
14
00:01:07,167 --> 00:01:09,001
♪ goodbye, city life ♪
15
00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:12,604
♪ green acres, we are there ♪
16
00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:20,212
Excuse me, henrietta. Excuse me.
17
00:01:28,488 --> 00:01:30,622
Come, come. Go, little one.
18
00:01:44,204 --> 00:01:46,538
What's the matter
With you chickens?
19
00:01:46,606 --> 00:01:49,174
All of your eggs are
Coming out with names on.
20
00:01:49,709 --> 00:01:50,875
Eb!
21
00:01:50,945 --> 00:01:51,945
Oliver.
22
00:01:52,012 --> 00:01:53,852
Lisa, is eb back there?
23
00:01:53,914 --> 00:01:55,314
No, he isn't.
24
00:01:55,382 --> 00:01:57,193
Do you know where he is?
25
00:01:57,217 --> 00:01:58,951
Yes, I do.
26
00:02:02,089 --> 00:02:03,721
I wanted to ask if...
27
00:02:04,391 --> 00:02:05,490
Lisa!
28
00:02:06,093 --> 00:02:07,225
Oliver?
29
00:02:07,294 --> 00:02:08,693
Where are you now?
30
00:02:08,762 --> 00:02:10,242
In the kitchen.
31
00:02:14,034 --> 00:02:15,900
I wanted to ask you where eb...
32
00:02:15,970 --> 00:02:17,035
Lisa!
33
00:02:17,771 --> 00:02:18,771
Oliver?
34
00:02:18,839 --> 00:02:20,505
Lisa, do you know where...
35
00:02:21,241 --> 00:02:22,874
Lisa, where the...
36
00:02:23,543 --> 00:02:24,609
Where are you?
37
00:02:24,678 --> 00:02:26,122
In the bedroom.
38
00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:28,580
Don't move. I'll be right there.
39
00:02:30,184 --> 00:02:31,424
Honey, I...
40
00:02:32,586 --> 00:02:34,164
What are you looking for?
41
00:02:34,188 --> 00:02:36,068
Where do you keep the booze?
42
00:02:36,857 --> 00:02:38,290
The booze?
43
00:02:38,359 --> 00:02:41,593
Well, you know, the bottle
You keep for municipal porpoises.
44
00:02:42,662 --> 00:02:44,363
Municipal porpoises?
45
00:02:44,431 --> 00:02:46,465
You know, when you get sick.
46
00:02:46,533 --> 00:02:48,333
Medicinal purposes.
47
00:02:48,402 --> 00:02:49,701
Yes, where is it?
48
00:02:49,769 --> 00:02:51,314
What's the matter,
Don't you feel well?
49
00:02:51,338 --> 00:02:52,504
I don't think so.
50
00:02:52,572 --> 00:02:54,017
Oh. What is it, honey?
51
00:02:54,041 --> 00:02:56,608
Well, I keep seeing
Names on eggs.
52
00:02:56,676 --> 00:02:58,776
What kind of names?
53
00:02:58,845 --> 00:03:00,345
Like the ones you see on
54
00:03:00,414 --> 00:03:03,148
The beginning of television
Shows, but on eggs.
55
00:03:03,217 --> 00:03:05,683
If you find the bottle
I'll have a belt with you.
56
00:03:06,353 --> 00:03:07,852
Is eb around?
57
00:03:07,921 --> 00:03:10,622
No, he had to leave. But
He left a message for you.
58
00:03:10,690 --> 00:03:14,659
He told me to tell you that I sent
Him to drucker's to pick up something.
59
00:03:14,728 --> 00:03:16,373
You sent him to drucker's?
60
00:03:16,397 --> 00:03:18,317
Well, that's what
The message said.
61
00:03:18,932 --> 00:03:20,565
Oh, but I need him.
62
00:03:20,634 --> 00:03:22,034
He'll be right back.
63
00:03:22,102 --> 00:03:24,102
Unless he can't find
Them at drucker's,
64
00:03:24,171 --> 00:03:25,681
Then he has to go to pixley.
65
00:03:25,705 --> 00:03:26,745
Uh, for what?
66
00:03:26,806 --> 00:03:29,074
For what he couldn't
Find at drucker's.
67
00:03:30,010 --> 00:03:31,309
Look for the bottle.
68
00:03:34,981 --> 00:03:37,516
I had to send him to
Buy some vegetables.
69
00:03:37,584 --> 00:03:39,151
Lisa, that's ridiculous.
70
00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:40,718
Buying vegetables.
71
00:03:40,787 --> 00:03:42,165
How else can you get them?
72
00:03:42,189 --> 00:03:43,288
You grow them.
73
00:03:43,357 --> 00:03:45,123
Where?
74
00:03:45,192 --> 00:03:47,592
Well, right here. What
Do you think this place is?
75
00:03:47,661 --> 00:03:50,728
Oh, you're finally
Going to tell me.
76
00:03:50,797 --> 00:03:53,131
Lisa, why do you think
I bought this farm?
77
00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:56,212
Oh, you're finally going
To tell me that, too.
78
00:03:56,236 --> 00:03:58,503
Lisa, I bought...
Oh, I... I remember.
79
00:03:58,572 --> 00:04:01,017
You bought the farm to
Get away from the rat's race
80
00:04:01,041 --> 00:04:03,853
And to plant the little
Seeds in the rich brown earth
81
00:04:03,877 --> 00:04:06,423
And watch them shoosting
Up towards the sky,
82
00:04:06,447 --> 00:04:08,491
With their little
Green shoosters
83
00:04:08,515 --> 00:04:09,847
And reaching up...
84
00:04:09,916 --> 00:04:13,251
Lisa, lisa, when you have a
Farm, you live off the land.
85
00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:15,954
You don't buy the
Vegetables, you grow them.
86
00:04:16,022 --> 00:04:17,655
Well, why don't you?
87
00:04:17,724 --> 00:04:19,624
Oh. I haven't got time.
88
00:04:19,693 --> 00:04:22,613
And besides, on a farm, it's the
Wife's place to grow the vegetables.
89
00:04:22,662 --> 00:04:25,063
Everyday you make up a new rule.
90
00:04:25,132 --> 00:04:28,266
Yesterday, you wouldn't
Let me play in the sandbox.
91
00:04:28,335 --> 00:04:30,068
Oh, come on.
92
00:04:30,137 --> 00:04:32,437
A day before, no
Dancing on the table.
93
00:04:32,506 --> 00:04:35,006
Do you want to discuss
This intelligently?
94
00:04:35,075 --> 00:04:36,975
If you think you can.
95
00:04:37,043 --> 00:04:38,510
I'll try.
96
00:04:38,579 --> 00:04:41,146
I don't want you
To hurt yourself.
97
00:04:41,215 --> 00:04:44,882
You know, it might not be a bad idea
For you to have a vegetable garden.
98
00:04:44,951 --> 00:04:46,684
Would that make you happy?
99
00:04:46,753 --> 00:04:47,785
Yes, it would.
100
00:04:47,854 --> 00:04:49,053
That's it.
101
00:04:49,123 --> 00:04:51,689
Always thinking of yourself.
102
00:04:51,758 --> 00:04:53,558
Look, if you don't
Wanna have it...
103
00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:54,707
Who said I didn't?
104
00:04:54,761 --> 00:04:55,793
You mean you do?
105
00:04:55,862 --> 00:04:56,862
Who said that?
106
00:04:57,598 --> 00:04:58,630
Oh, for...
107
00:04:58,698 --> 00:04:59,698
I'll do it.
108
00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:02,000
Good girl.
109
00:05:04,338 --> 00:05:07,572
It's kisses like that, that
Are keeping me that way.
110
00:05:11,145 --> 00:05:12,710
All right. Give it some gas.
111
00:05:12,779 --> 00:05:14,624
You want me to stick
Its head in the oven?
112
00:05:14,648 --> 00:05:15,980
Come on! Step on it.
113
00:05:22,922 --> 00:05:23,922
Hey.
114
00:05:26,126 --> 00:05:28,026
These fell out.
115
00:05:28,094 --> 00:05:29,872
What difference does it make?
116
00:05:29,896 --> 00:05:32,041
It's running better than ever.
117
00:05:32,065 --> 00:05:34,232
How can it run without these?
118
00:05:34,301 --> 00:05:36,513
Maybe that's been
Its trouble all along.
119
00:05:36,537 --> 00:05:37,935
Too many parts.
120
00:05:38,004 --> 00:05:41,139
Oh, that's ridiculous. It
Can't run without its parts.
121
00:05:42,809 --> 00:05:44,354
You shouldn't have said that.
122
00:05:44,378 --> 00:05:45,877
It was perfectly content
123
00:05:45,945 --> 00:05:48,825
Till you planted all those
Superstitious ideas in its head.
124
00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:50,748
Oh, for the...
125
00:05:50,817 --> 00:05:52,217
Now what are we gonna do?
126
00:05:52,286 --> 00:05:54,330
We have 40 acres
To plow this week.
127
00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:56,854
Beginnin' to feel the pressure
From the competition, huh?
128
00:05:56,923 --> 00:05:58,523
What competition?
129
00:05:58,592 --> 00:06:01,025
Mrs. Douglas told me she's
Gonna grow vegetables.
130
00:06:01,094 --> 00:06:03,773
She's gonna try. But
Believe me, nothing'll grow.
131
00:06:03,797 --> 00:06:05,397
I hope not.
132
00:06:05,465 --> 00:06:08,344
It wouldn't look good to have
Her spoil your perfect record, huh?
133
00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:10,946
Eb, will you see if you can find
Out where some of these go?
134
00:06:10,970 --> 00:06:12,304
Hey.
135
00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:14,492
This one came out
Of my roller skates.
136
00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:17,509
Eb, I got enough problems.
137
00:06:18,612 --> 00:06:20,378
I've got one myself.
138
00:06:20,447 --> 00:06:23,181
When mrs. Douglas starts farmin'
And she wants me to help her,
139
00:06:23,250 --> 00:06:25,290
And you want me to help you,
140
00:06:25,686 --> 00:06:26,718
Who do I help?
141
00:06:27,254 --> 00:06:28,720
Me.
142
00:06:28,788 --> 00:06:30,233
It's not gonna be that easy.
143
00:06:30,257 --> 00:06:32,156
I'm community property.
144
00:06:32,226 --> 00:06:33,725
Eb, will you stop worrying?
145
00:06:33,793 --> 00:06:36,127
I doubt if she'll
Ever get started.
146
00:06:36,196 --> 00:06:38,296
So you're gonna raise
Your own vegetables?
147
00:06:38,365 --> 00:06:39,464
That's right.
148
00:06:39,533 --> 00:06:41,766
Oliver and I were
Talking it over.
149
00:06:41,835 --> 00:06:43,067
Well,
150
00:06:43,136 --> 00:06:45,456
I must say I'm surprised.
151
00:06:47,207 --> 00:06:49,285
Well, I don't have to say it.
152
00:06:49,309 --> 00:06:53,211
I mean, there's nothing in the
Department that makes it mandatory.
153
00:06:53,280 --> 00:06:56,615
Of course, there is a rule that
Says a county agent should...
154
00:06:56,683 --> 00:06:58,583
That doesn't apply in your case.
155
00:06:58,652 --> 00:07:01,853
Well, is there any other
Information I can give you?
156
00:07:01,921 --> 00:07:03,821
You haven't given me any yet.
157
00:07:03,890 --> 00:07:06,291
I-I'd like to know how
To grow vegetables.
158
00:07:06,360 --> 00:07:07,525
For what purpose?
159
00:07:08,027 --> 00:07:09,594
Eating.
160
00:07:09,663 --> 00:07:12,297
Well, let's see if
We have a bulletin on
161
00:07:12,366 --> 00:07:15,333
How to grow vegetables
For eating purposes.
162
00:07:15,402 --> 00:07:18,670
Well, that would be
Under "G" for growing,
163
00:07:18,739 --> 00:07:21,072
"V" for vegetables,
"E" for eating.
164
00:07:22,776 --> 00:07:25,042
We don't seem to have
Anything in those categories.
165
00:07:25,111 --> 00:07:27,145
Oh. We got a good
Supply of bulletins
166
00:07:27,213 --> 00:07:29,914
On how to cure
Cucumbers of clodworms.
167
00:07:29,983 --> 00:07:31,716
What are clodworms?
168
00:07:32,286 --> 00:07:33,752
Oh.
169
00:07:33,820 --> 00:07:35,787
Those are nasty little...
170
00:07:35,855 --> 00:07:37,767
Well, they're not
Nasty to each other.
171
00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:39,424
Just to cucumbers.
172
00:07:39,493 --> 00:07:41,393
Well, we don't like cucumbers.
173
00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:43,695
What other vegetables are there?
174
00:07:43,764 --> 00:07:47,532
Oh, I have a list here
As long as my arm.
175
00:07:49,569 --> 00:07:51,202
No, I guess it's shorter.
176
00:07:52,071 --> 00:07:53,405
Can I have that?
177
00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:56,040
Oh, no, I need it to
Hold my wristwatch on.
178
00:07:56,109 --> 00:07:58,053
Oh, you mean the list.
179
00:07:58,077 --> 00:07:59,611
Yes, here you are.
180
00:07:59,680 --> 00:08:01,691
That has every known
Variety of vegetables on it.
181
00:08:01,715 --> 00:08:04,059
You just pick out the
Ones you want and plant 'em.
182
00:08:04,083 --> 00:08:07,018
Oh, what do I do with the
Vegetables I don't like?
183
00:08:07,086 --> 00:08:09,387
Oh, we have a pamphlet on that.
184
00:08:09,456 --> 00:08:12,190
Yes, sir, one thing
We have around here
185
00:08:12,258 --> 00:08:13,258
Is pamphlets.
186
00:08:14,695 --> 00:08:16,594
Well, here we are.
187
00:08:16,663 --> 00:08:20,064
"What to do with
Vegetables you don't like."
188
00:08:20,133 --> 00:08:22,266
Of course, this isn't
An official publication.
189
00:08:22,336 --> 00:08:23,735
I mean, it's one the chief tried
190
00:08:23,804 --> 00:08:25,470
To get published
Through the department.
191
00:08:25,539 --> 00:08:27,572
Boy, those were
Sure exciting days,
192
00:08:27,641 --> 00:08:29,607
With all those
Insulting letters flying
193
00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:31,242
Between the chief
And washington.
194
00:08:31,311 --> 00:08:32,877
And I must say
This for the chief,
195
00:08:32,946 --> 00:08:34,679
He's got a thick skin.
196
00:08:34,748 --> 00:08:37,048
He wouldn't resign no
Matter what they called him.
197
00:08:37,116 --> 00:08:39,384
Do I need any other
One besides this one?
198
00:08:39,453 --> 00:08:41,018
Oh, yes.
199
00:08:41,087 --> 00:08:43,167
Yes, there are some
More here, I think.
200
00:08:43,223 --> 00:08:47,392
Oh, yes, you'll need
This, and this, and this.
201
00:08:47,461 --> 00:08:49,639
No, I don't think
You'll need that.
202
00:08:49,663 --> 00:08:52,330
It's a list of feed stores
Off-limits to county agents.
203
00:08:53,333 --> 00:08:55,693
You'll surely need this.
204
00:09:00,407 --> 00:09:03,541
Oliver, I could use some help.
205
00:09:03,610 --> 00:09:04,809
Already?
206
00:09:04,878 --> 00:09:06,956
Not with the farming,
With the figuring.
207
00:09:06,980 --> 00:09:09,180
It says here in this famphlet...
208
00:09:09,916 --> 00:09:10,916
Flamplet.
209
00:09:11,752 --> 00:09:13,618
Flamplits.
210
00:09:13,687 --> 00:09:15,353
No, this is a bulletin.
211
00:09:16,322 --> 00:09:18,155
What do you wanna figure?
212
00:09:18,224 --> 00:09:21,893
Well, it says here that three
Fourths of an acre of land
213
00:09:21,961 --> 00:09:24,829
Grows enough
Vegetables for a family of 5.
214
00:09:24,898 --> 00:09:26,676
Now, we are only a family of 3.
215
00:09:26,700 --> 00:09:27,866
Now the question is,
216
00:09:27,934 --> 00:09:29,868
Do we get 2 more people
217
00:09:29,936 --> 00:09:32,937
Or do we do the
Hard arithmetics?
218
00:09:33,006 --> 00:09:34,966
There's nothing hard about it.
219
00:09:35,008 --> 00:09:38,075
If three fourths of an
Acre will feed 5 people,
220
00:09:38,144 --> 00:09:40,812
What fraction of an
Acre will feed 3 people?
221
00:09:40,881 --> 00:09:44,616
Wouldn't it be just as
Easy to get 2 other people?
222
00:09:44,684 --> 00:09:47,886
Lisa, any school child can
Figure that out in his head.
223
00:09:47,954 --> 00:09:49,799
Well, I didn't go
To a head school.
224
00:09:49,823 --> 00:09:52,201
The school I went to, all
They taught me was to count
225
00:09:52,225 --> 00:09:54,292
How many karats
There are in a diamond.
226
00:09:54,360 --> 00:09:56,305
The way you do that,
You find a jeweler...
227
00:09:56,329 --> 00:09:59,898
Uh, the answer is nine
Twentieths of an acre.
228
00:09:59,966 --> 00:10:03,301
Do you mind if I have that
Checked by an accountant?
229
00:10:03,369 --> 00:10:05,247
Lisa, why don't
You make it easy?
230
00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:07,772
Let's say, one acre
Will feed 5 people.
231
00:10:07,841 --> 00:10:11,175
Therefore, 3 people require
Three fifths of an acre.
232
00:10:11,244 --> 00:10:13,055
Do we have one of those?
233
00:10:13,079 --> 00:10:15,980
We'll find one.
What's your next step?
234
00:10:16,049 --> 00:10:17,827
Well, you have to find out
235
00:10:17,851 --> 00:10:20,452
What vegetables your
Family likes the most.
236
00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:21,760
What do you like?
237
00:10:22,355 --> 00:10:23,655
I like you.
238
00:10:23,723 --> 00:10:25,990
Well, you can't plant that.
239
00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:28,326
Do you like radishes?
240
00:10:28,394 --> 00:10:29,427
Sure.
241
00:10:29,496 --> 00:10:31,596
How many do you eat a year?
242
00:10:31,665 --> 00:10:32,864
I don't know.
243
00:10:32,933 --> 00:10:35,099
Well, would you
Say you eat 2 a day?
244
00:10:35,168 --> 00:10:38,135
Yeah, that seems like
A fair radish average.
245
00:10:38,204 --> 00:10:40,015
2 radishes day.
246
00:10:40,039 --> 00:10:42,184
Now, let me see, 2 times 3 is 6,
247
00:10:42,208 --> 00:10:44,141
2 times 100 is 200,
248
00:10:44,210 --> 00:10:45,743
2 times 65...
249
00:10:45,812 --> 00:10:48,079
Uh, 2 times 6 is 12,
250
00:10:48,147 --> 00:10:50,125
Which calls for
A one shove over,
251
00:10:50,149 --> 00:10:52,049
Which makes the 5, 15.
252
00:10:52,118 --> 00:10:54,051
Now, 2 times 15 is 30.
253
00:10:54,120 --> 00:10:56,521
Now we lump them all together,
254
00:10:56,590 --> 00:10:59,290
730.
255
00:11:00,259 --> 00:11:01,593
That's right.
256
00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:03,741
What made you
Think it wouldn't be?
257
00:11:04,865 --> 00:11:08,265
Lisa, if you want to
Plant a few radishes, fine.
258
00:11:08,334 --> 00:11:10,602
But why don't you take
An acre and divide it up,
259
00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:13,605
And plant some beans,
And peas, and lettuce.
260
00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:15,773
Beets, and corn, tomatoes.
261
00:11:15,842 --> 00:11:17,208
What about spaghetti?
262
00:11:17,711 --> 00:11:19,143
Yeah, well...
263
00:11:20,179 --> 00:11:22,113
Spaghetti isn't a vegetable.
264
00:11:22,181 --> 00:11:23,414
What is it?
265
00:11:23,483 --> 00:11:24,716
It's made out of flour.
266
00:11:24,784 --> 00:11:26,596
Well, what is flour made out of?
267
00:11:26,620 --> 00:11:27,620
Wheat.
268
00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:31,022
Good, then I'll plant
Some spaghetti wheat.
269
00:11:31,090 --> 00:11:33,290
Yes, you plant a few
Rows of spaghetti wheat.
270
00:11:33,359 --> 00:11:35,092
And, uh, look, while
You're about it,
271
00:11:35,161 --> 00:11:37,395
Why don't you plant a
Couple rows of meat sauce?
272
00:11:37,463 --> 00:11:40,297
And, uh, maybe some
Parmesan cheese vines.
273
00:11:41,134 --> 00:11:42,211
Good.
274
00:11:42,235 --> 00:11:44,446
Now, which land is mine?
275
00:11:44,470 --> 00:11:46,337
Well, come on with me.
276
00:11:46,406 --> 00:11:48,740
We'll walk around
And I'll find you an acre.
277
00:11:51,377 --> 00:11:52,710
Good morning, neighbors.
278
00:11:52,779 --> 00:11:54,019
Good m...
279
00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:56,514
What are you dressed up for?
280
00:11:56,583 --> 00:11:59,651
This is my vegetable
Plowing ensemble.
281
00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:01,964
And what have you
Got in here, wine?
282
00:12:01,988 --> 00:12:03,621
No, perfume.
283
00:12:03,690 --> 00:12:05,757
It's going to be a
Long hot day in the sun.
284
00:12:05,825 --> 00:12:08,359
I'll be over later,
To get squirted.
285
00:12:08,428 --> 00:12:10,628
I have to go to work. Work?
286
00:12:10,697 --> 00:12:12,909
Aren't you gonna get
Me some breakfast?
287
00:12:12,933 --> 00:12:15,600
I am too busy farming
To do any cooking.
288
00:12:17,037 --> 00:12:20,104
I knew something good
Would come out of this.
289
00:12:20,173 --> 00:12:22,440
I'll see you in burbank, luther.
290
00:12:22,508 --> 00:12:24,119
Uh, where do you
Think you're going?
291
00:12:24,143 --> 00:12:25,320
I have to do my plowing.
292
00:12:25,344 --> 00:12:26,522
How do you start this thing?
293
00:12:26,546 --> 00:12:28,090
Lisa, I need the tractor.
294
00:12:28,114 --> 00:12:30,214
Well, so do I.
Where are the keys?
295
00:12:30,283 --> 00:12:32,243
Lisa, you can't have it.
296
00:12:32,285 --> 00:12:34,418
Well, for a neighbor,
You're not very friendly.
297
00:12:34,487 --> 00:12:36,287
I noticed that, too.
298
00:12:36,355 --> 00:12:37,967
You keep out of this.
299
00:12:37,991 --> 00:12:40,892
Boy, imagine how you'd
Treat me if I were a wetback.
300
00:12:42,195 --> 00:12:43,940
Now come on, lisa, get off.
301
00:12:43,964 --> 00:12:46,130
I don't see why I
Can't borrow it.
302
00:12:46,199 --> 00:12:49,366
Off. Thank you.
303
00:12:49,435 --> 00:12:52,637
I suppose you think you're
A big man sitting up there.
304
00:12:53,539 --> 00:12:54,806
Stand aside.
305
00:12:55,675 --> 00:12:56,708
Contact.
306
00:12:56,776 --> 00:12:57,875
Contact.
307
00:13:05,284 --> 00:13:08,019
I am glad I didn't
Borrow that mess.
308
00:13:08,521 --> 00:13:10,254
You no-good...
309
00:13:11,825 --> 00:13:14,892
That'll teach you not to
Meanmouth a hoyt clagwell.
310
00:13:33,513 --> 00:13:34,946
Oh, howdy, mr. Douglas.
311
00:13:36,215 --> 00:13:37,815
Uh, arnold, shut up.
312
00:13:40,553 --> 00:13:41,653
How did...
313
00:13:41,721 --> 00:13:44,956
Oh, he's been
Watching lassie on t.V.
314
00:13:45,025 --> 00:13:46,590
And he keeps immitatin' her.
315
00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:49,060
But that's impossib...
316
00:13:49,129 --> 00:13:50,528
Arnold, in the house.
317
00:13:54,267 --> 00:13:56,333
Ain't that the corniest
Thing you ever heard?
318
00:13:56,402 --> 00:13:57,434
Uh...
319
00:13:57,503 --> 00:13:59,481
What can I do for
You, mr. Douglas?
320
00:13:59,505 --> 00:14:01,539
Oh, well, I got a problem.
321
00:14:01,607 --> 00:14:03,074
My tractor blew up.
322
00:14:03,143 --> 00:14:05,910
And I was wonderin' if I could
Borrow yours, or rent it?
323
00:14:05,979 --> 00:14:08,646
Oh, well, I couldn't
Rent it to you.
324
00:14:08,715 --> 00:14:10,347
Oh, that's very nice of you.
325
00:14:10,416 --> 00:14:12,616
I couldn't lend
It to you either.
326
00:14:12,686 --> 00:14:14,385
I got some plowin'.
327
00:14:14,453 --> 00:14:16,565
But you can have
It as soon as I finish.
328
00:14:16,589 --> 00:14:18,056
When will that be?
329
00:14:18,124 --> 00:14:19,456
In about 2 weeks.
330
00:14:19,525 --> 00:14:21,659
Well, I can't wait 2 weeks.
331
00:14:21,728 --> 00:14:23,460
Well, I am sorry.
332
00:14:23,529 --> 00:14:26,097
Say, how about newt kiley?
333
00:14:26,166 --> 00:14:27,810
Can't get it to run at all, huh?
334
00:14:27,834 --> 00:14:29,433
Oh, it's a complete wreck.
335
00:14:29,502 --> 00:14:30,968
Oh, that's too bad.
336
00:14:31,037 --> 00:14:33,437
Yes, and mr. Ziffel thought
That you might lend me yours.
337
00:14:33,506 --> 00:14:36,852
Well, if I had known you needed
It, I never would have sold it.
338
00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:38,176
Oh, you sold it.
339
00:14:38,244 --> 00:14:40,712
Yeah, 3 years ago.
340
00:14:40,780 --> 00:14:42,046
3 years ago?
341
00:14:42,115 --> 00:14:44,415
Yeah, needed the money
To buy this here barking pig.
342
00:14:45,551 --> 00:14:46,984
A barking pig?
343
00:14:47,053 --> 00:14:49,386
Well, he did do imitations,
344
00:14:49,455 --> 00:14:52,695
But that is, he did 'em for
The feller that sold him to me.
345
00:14:52,759 --> 00:14:55,993
But when I got him home he
Didn't do nothin' but eat and grunt.
346
00:14:56,996 --> 00:14:58,062
Well, uh...
347
00:14:58,131 --> 00:14:59,263
He made me so mad
348
00:14:59,332 --> 00:15:01,365
I finally gave
Him to fred ziffel.
349
00:15:01,434 --> 00:15:04,202
Oh, yeah, I just heard him bark.
350
00:15:04,270 --> 00:15:07,805
Yeah, fred likes to
Do imitations of lassie.
351
00:15:07,874 --> 00:15:09,774
No, no, I meant I just heard...
352
00:15:09,843 --> 00:15:11,275
Sorry about the tractor.
353
00:15:11,344 --> 00:15:12,376
Oh, that's all...
354
00:15:14,447 --> 00:15:16,180
Was that one of the...
355
00:15:16,249 --> 00:15:17,489
One of the what?
356
00:15:19,685 --> 00:15:22,319
Uh, forget it. Bye.
357
00:15:31,330 --> 00:15:32,563
Couldn't find one, huh?
358
00:15:32,632 --> 00:15:34,110
No, I've been all
Over the valley.
359
00:15:34,134 --> 00:15:36,494
Everybody who has
A tractor, needs it.
360
00:15:36,669 --> 00:15:38,302
Well,
361
00:15:38,371 --> 00:15:40,404
I guess that's the
End of this farm.
362
00:15:40,473 --> 00:15:42,339
Not that it ever really began.
363
00:15:42,408 --> 00:15:45,487
I am not giving up just
Because I don't have a tractor.
364
00:15:45,511 --> 00:15:48,146
How did farmers plow
Before they had machinery?
365
00:15:48,214 --> 00:15:50,614
They used indians.
366
00:15:50,683 --> 00:15:53,584
They didn't use indians.
They used horses.
367
00:15:53,653 --> 00:15:55,697
Good, sturdy plow horses.
368
00:15:59,159 --> 00:16:00,691
Mr. Haney!
369
00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:03,127
Tallyho, mr. Douglas.
370
00:16:03,196 --> 00:16:05,897
I just happened to be
Riding to the hounds,
371
00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:07,598
And thought I'd drop in.
372
00:16:08,134 --> 00:16:09,167
Sure.
373
00:16:09,235 --> 00:16:11,869
You didn't happen to
See a frightened fox
374
00:16:11,938 --> 00:16:13,504
Go through here, did you?
375
00:16:14,040 --> 00:16:15,907
No, we didn't.
376
00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:19,210
Well, guess there's no
Sense in continuing the chase.
377
00:16:23,116 --> 00:16:25,397
I didn't really expect
To find you home.
378
00:16:25,451 --> 00:16:27,096
I thought you
Would be out plowin'.
379
00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:28,820
With what?
380
00:16:28,888 --> 00:16:31,823
With that magnificent
Tractor that I sold you.
381
00:16:31,891 --> 00:16:34,491
That hunk of junk?
That's nothing but a...
382
00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:37,528
May I be excused? It looks
Like this is gonna get messy.
383
00:16:38,564 --> 00:16:40,464
Mr. Douglas,
384
00:16:40,533 --> 00:16:43,201
I don't see why you have so
Much trouble with that tractor.
385
00:16:43,269 --> 00:16:45,436
I used it for 30 years
386
00:16:45,504 --> 00:16:47,438
And never had
To do nothin' to it,
387
00:16:47,506 --> 00:16:50,274
Except have the
Horn bulb patched.
388
00:16:50,343 --> 00:16:52,109
The horn works.
389
00:16:52,178 --> 00:16:54,478
Then I don't see
Why you're so upset.
390
00:16:54,547 --> 00:16:59,083
I'm upset because I've got 40 acres
To plow and nothing to pull the plow.
391
00:16:59,152 --> 00:17:02,954
You don't have nothin'
To pull the plow?
392
00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:05,957
You're not going to sell
Me that horse, are you?
393
00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:09,827
Sell you this magnificent
Animal to pull a plow?
394
00:17:09,896 --> 00:17:11,963
Did you hear that, nellie?
395
00:17:15,568 --> 00:17:17,534
That's what they
Call a horse laugh.
396
00:17:18,404 --> 00:17:19,904
All right, how much?
397
00:17:19,973 --> 00:17:21,339
Mr. Douglas,
398
00:17:21,407 --> 00:17:23,640
You are insultin' the steed
399
00:17:23,709 --> 00:17:27,611
That won the irish
Sweepstakes, in 1961.
400
00:17:28,514 --> 00:17:30,147
She won the irish...
401
00:17:30,216 --> 00:17:32,750
Yes, sir, she had a ticket
On the winnin' horse.
402
00:17:34,120 --> 00:17:36,387
She'd be retired today,
403
00:17:36,455 --> 00:17:38,389
But it turned out
To be a counterfeit.
404
00:17:38,457 --> 00:17:40,069
Oh, you sold her
The ticket, huh?
405
00:17:42,228 --> 00:17:44,762
He's just joshin', nellie.
406
00:17:44,830 --> 00:17:47,899
All right, mr haney, how much
Do you want for the horse?
407
00:17:47,967 --> 00:17:52,203
Well, since you're in trouble,
I ain't one to hold you up.
408
00:17:52,272 --> 00:17:54,438
So just name your own price.
409
00:17:54,507 --> 00:17:56,573
As long as it's $300.
410
00:17:57,610 --> 00:17:59,443
$300?
411
00:18:01,981 --> 00:18:04,081
I'll give you $50 for her.
412
00:18:06,852 --> 00:18:09,720
Look, I'm not going to stand
Here haggling with a horse.
413
00:18:09,789 --> 00:18:12,223
I'll give you $100 and
That's my final offer.
414
00:18:13,492 --> 00:18:15,126
Ok, it's a deal.
415
00:18:15,194 --> 00:18:19,530
But don't tell nellie. She's
Got delusions of grandeur.
416
00:18:19,598 --> 00:18:21,998
All right, nellie,
We just made a deal.
417
00:18:22,035 --> 00:18:23,879
I hope you'll be happy here.
418
00:18:27,907 --> 00:18:30,641
Did that horse just moo?
419
00:18:30,709 --> 00:18:35,179
If she did, would I sell her
To you for a measly $100?
420
00:18:38,418 --> 00:18:39,528
You all set, mr. Douglas?
421
00:18:39,552 --> 00:18:40,792
Yeah, all set.
422
00:18:42,521 --> 00:18:43,601
Giddap!
423
00:18:46,725 --> 00:18:47,836
What's the matter with her?
424
00:18:47,860 --> 00:18:49,660
I guess she's
Waiting for the fox.
425
00:18:49,728 --> 00:18:52,048
We haven't got a fox.
426
00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:54,292
Giddap!
427
00:18:57,337 --> 00:18:58,502
Try tallyho.
428
00:18:58,571 --> 00:18:59,837
Tallyho?
429
00:19:03,076 --> 00:19:05,576
Mr. Douglas, come back,
You forgot the plow!
430
00:19:08,848 --> 00:19:10,281
I guess he don't need it.
431
00:19:10,350 --> 00:19:12,510
He's doin' all
Right with his nose.
432
00:19:14,253 --> 00:19:16,320
Whoa! Help!
433
00:19:18,191 --> 00:19:19,223
Help!
434
00:19:19,292 --> 00:19:20,292
Somebody get...
435
00:19:24,763 --> 00:19:27,031
Well, who have we got here,
436
00:19:27,100 --> 00:19:29,933
Whose polka dot
Shorts are showing?
437
00:19:30,003 --> 00:19:32,603
I'm not wearing
Polka dot shorts.
438
00:19:32,671 --> 00:19:34,316
These are black and blue marks.
439
00:19:34,340 --> 00:19:35,906
Get me out... Ow!
440
00:19:35,975 --> 00:19:37,308
Get me out of here.
441
00:19:37,377 --> 00:19:39,810
Sorry, neighbor. I
Have to do my plowing.
442
00:19:39,879 --> 00:19:43,247
Lisa, get... Where
Did you get... Ooh, ow.
443
00:19:43,316 --> 00:19:45,549
Where did you get that tractor?
444
00:19:45,618 --> 00:19:49,987
At the tractor store, it was
On sale. It only cost $4,000.
445
00:19:50,056 --> 00:19:52,223
$4,000... Ooh. Ooh.
446
00:19:52,291 --> 00:19:54,625
$4,000? Take it back.
447
00:19:54,693 --> 00:19:56,472
But I have to do my plowing.
448
00:19:56,496 --> 00:19:58,095
Take it back!
449
00:20:01,367 --> 00:20:04,035
No, don't take it ba... Ow!
450
00:20:04,103 --> 00:20:05,669
Look, I need it!
451
00:20:18,418 --> 00:20:19,483
Good evening, sir.
452
00:20:19,552 --> 00:20:21,252
May I take your hat?
453
00:20:21,320 --> 00:20:23,387
Oh, you're not wearing a hat.
454
00:20:23,456 --> 00:20:25,367
What are you doing here?
455
00:20:25,391 --> 00:20:26,524
I'm the new houseboy.
456
00:20:26,592 --> 00:20:28,659
Would you like a
Blast before supper?
457
00:20:28,727 --> 00:20:29,727
No!
458
00:20:29,795 --> 00:20:32,596
Hey, cook, the master's home.
459
00:20:32,665 --> 00:20:34,365
Howdy doody, master.
460
00:20:34,434 --> 00:20:36,111
What would you like for supper?
461
00:20:36,135 --> 00:20:37,701
Who hired you?
462
00:20:37,770 --> 00:20:38,770
Mrs. Douglas.
463
00:20:39,405 --> 00:20:40,565
Where is she?
464
00:20:40,606 --> 00:20:42,606
Was she expecting you, sir?
465
00:20:42,675 --> 00:20:43,818
Now, look here...
466
00:20:43,842 --> 00:20:45,809
Madam, the master's home!
467
00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:49,447
Hello there, master.
468
00:20:49,515 --> 00:20:51,493
Now look here, madam...
469
00:20:51,517 --> 00:20:53,384
Your bath is running, sir.
470
00:20:53,453 --> 00:20:55,219
Shall we oil you or bubble you?
471
00:20:56,389 --> 00:20:57,799
Get back in the kitchen.
472
00:20:57,823 --> 00:20:58,900
Watch it.
473
00:20:58,924 --> 00:21:00,702
Help ain't easy
To get these days.
474
00:21:00,726 --> 00:21:01,726
Out!
475
00:21:04,564 --> 00:21:06,330
What did you hire them for?
476
00:21:06,399 --> 00:21:08,265
For $150 a week.
477
00:21:08,334 --> 00:21:10,534
I mean, why did you hire them?
478
00:21:10,603 --> 00:21:14,205
Well, I can't grow vegetables and
Take care of the house at the same time.
479
00:21:14,273 --> 00:21:17,208
Oh, that stupid
Vegetable... $150 a week,
480
00:21:17,276 --> 00:21:18,976
$4,000...
481
00:21:19,044 --> 00:21:20,744
Where did you put the tractor?
482
00:21:20,813 --> 00:21:22,458
I gave it back, like
You told me to.
483
00:21:22,482 --> 00:21:23,658
Did you get your money back?
484
00:21:23,682 --> 00:21:25,649
Yes, all except $1,000.
485
00:21:25,718 --> 00:21:27,084
What?
486
00:21:27,153 --> 00:21:29,264
The man said as soon as
You drive it off the lot,
487
00:21:29,288 --> 00:21:31,333
It depreciates that much.
488
00:21:31,357 --> 00:21:33,557
$1,000?
489
00:21:33,626 --> 00:21:36,960
Well, it was worth it. I
Got all my plowing done.
490
00:21:37,029 --> 00:21:39,029
Oh, lisa, this is
The most ridic...
491
00:21:40,533 --> 00:21:42,733
Come in. I'll get it, sir.
492
00:21:42,801 --> 00:21:44,268
Oh, evenin', mr. Douglas.
493
00:21:44,337 --> 00:21:46,103
May I take your hat, sir?
494
00:21:46,172 --> 00:21:48,472
Well, I... I... I guess so.
495
00:21:48,541 --> 00:21:50,441
Would you like a blast?
496
00:21:50,510 --> 00:21:51,750
That'd be fine.
497
00:21:52,612 --> 00:21:53,844
Alf, will you...
498
00:21:53,912 --> 00:21:56,658
Is there going to be another
One for supper, master?
499
00:21:56,682 --> 00:21:57,748
No.
500
00:21:57,816 --> 00:22:00,484
Uh, mr. Drucker, did
You want something?
501
00:22:00,553 --> 00:22:02,897
Oh, uh, yeah, I... I came
To tell mrs. Douglas
502
00:22:02,921 --> 00:22:04,466
That the stuff is outside.
503
00:22:04,490 --> 00:22:05,534
Thank you.
504
00:22:05,558 --> 00:22:07,324
Uh, what stuff?
505
00:22:07,393 --> 00:22:09,693
The stuff I need for
My vegetable garden.
506
00:22:09,762 --> 00:22:12,229
Uh, give the bill
To mr. Douglas.
507
00:22:12,298 --> 00:22:13,464
Allow me.
508
00:22:16,335 --> 00:22:18,269
$980!
509
00:22:18,337 --> 00:22:21,172
We got a discount,
Being professionals.
510
00:22:21,240 --> 00:22:22,618
Look, if you think I'm gonna...
511
00:22:22,642 --> 00:22:23,674
Mr. Dru...
512
00:22:25,478 --> 00:22:26,610
Where did he go?
513
00:22:26,679 --> 00:22:29,380
He'll be back. I've
Still got his hat.
514
00:22:29,448 --> 00:22:32,082
This is, without a
Doubt, the most...
515
00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:36,853
Dinner is served
In the dining saloon.
516
00:22:38,090 --> 00:22:40,123
I don't want any!
517
00:22:42,961 --> 00:22:44,161
What's that?
518
00:22:47,132 --> 00:22:48,232
Your bath.
519
00:22:49,669 --> 00:22:51,902
If you wait a while
You can take it in here.
520
00:22:52,672 --> 00:22:54,104
I give up!
521
00:22:55,441 --> 00:22:57,708
Lisa, tomorrow morning,
I want you to get eb,
522
00:22:57,776 --> 00:23:00,411
And take all that stuff that you
Got from drucker's back to him.
523
00:23:00,479 --> 00:23:02,591
But I need them for
My vegetable garden.
524
00:23:02,615 --> 00:23:04,381
The hoes, the rakes...
525
00:23:04,450 --> 00:23:06,061
Anything you need for
Your garden, we've got here.
526
00:23:06,085 --> 00:23:07,818
I don't want you to
Spend another penny.
527
00:23:07,886 --> 00:23:09,764
Oh, but... Not another penny!
528
00:23:09,788 --> 00:23:11,788
And tomorrow I'll go
Down to that tractor place
529
00:23:11,857 --> 00:23:14,425
And I'll straighten that
Fellow out about the $1,000.
530
00:23:14,493 --> 00:23:16,026
Now, about the help,
531
00:23:17,630 --> 00:23:19,530
Do you wanna fire
Them, or should I?
532
00:23:21,334 --> 00:23:24,668
Wait, you wouldn't
Fire them on christmas.
533
00:23:25,705 --> 00:23:27,070
It's not christmas.
534
00:23:27,139 --> 00:23:28,817
When you proposed to me,
535
00:23:28,841 --> 00:23:31,853
You said that every day's
Going to be like christmas.
536
00:23:31,877 --> 00:23:34,245
Oh. So I did.
537
00:23:36,081 --> 00:23:38,415
Oh, merry christmas, darling.
538
00:23:40,786 --> 00:23:41,985
You're fired.
539
00:23:50,396 --> 00:23:53,597
That is your
Vegetable garden? Yes.
540
00:23:53,666 --> 00:23:57,067
I've been working on
It for the past 6 weeks.
541
00:23:57,136 --> 00:23:59,136
Where are the vegetables?
542
00:23:59,204 --> 00:24:02,150
Well, you know, I wouldn't do
Anything you didn't want me to.
543
00:24:02,174 --> 00:24:03,918
And when you went
On that economy kick,
544
00:24:03,942 --> 00:24:06,655
And you told me not to
Spend another penny...
545
00:24:06,679 --> 00:24:07,778
Yes?
546
00:24:07,846 --> 00:24:10,166
I didn't buy the seeds.
547
00:24:11,183 --> 00:24:13,651
You didn't buy the seeds?
548
00:24:15,053 --> 00:24:17,488
Would it make you feel
Better if you hit me?
549
00:24:20,426 --> 00:24:21,858
I don't want to hit you.
550
00:24:21,927 --> 00:24:23,772
Do you want to kiss me?
551
00:24:23,796 --> 00:24:25,496
Do I have to?
552
00:24:25,564 --> 00:24:27,864
Well, that'll show
That you're good sport.
553
00:24:35,174 --> 00:24:36,507
Did that horse just...
554
00:24:36,575 --> 00:24:37,655
Just what?
555
00:24:38,678 --> 00:24:39,910
Oh, forget it.
556
00:25:26,091 --> 00:25:28,771
this has been a filmways
Presentation, darling.
36429
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