Original subtitles

♪ green acres is The place to be ♪

♪ farm livin' is The life for me ♪

♪ land spreadin' Out so far and wide ♪

♪ keep manhattan, just Give me that countryside ♪

♪ new york is where I'd rather stay ♪

♪ I get allergic smelling hay ♪

♪ I just adore a Penthouse view ♪

♪ darling, I love you, But give me park avenue ♪

♪ the chores ♪

♪ the stores ♪

♪ fresh air ♪

♪ times square ♪

♪ you are my wife ♪

♪ goodbye, city life ♪

♪ green acres, we are there ♪

Oliver, oliver, wake up.

Uh... Uh, what? What's the matter?

Do you know anybody called Jay summers or dick chevrolet?

Who?

Well, I was just dreaming That their names were over us.

It's 5:00 in the morning. Will you go to sleep?

"Dreaming their names are..."

Who's he?

Who's banging on the door?

Maybe it's those 2 Fellows with the names.

Good morning, mr. Douglas.

Mr. Haney, it's 5:00.

You know the old sayin':

"The early bird gets The best seat on the bus."

Just got 2 seats left.

If you'll give me a $3 deposit,

I'll be glad to hold 'em for you And mrs. Douglas till departure time.

We're not going anywhere.

You're not going to bleedswell?

No, we're not.

Everybody else in the valley is.

Guaranteed to get you there,

So as you'll be first in line At the employment office.

The employ...

Mr. Haney, I don't know what It is you're talking about,

But I'm not interested.

Better hang on to this.

He'll probably want to buy One of these from somebody.

Good morning.

Howdy doody.

Hold it.

Hold it!

What do you think you're doing?

We're gonna try to finish The bedroom for you by 12:00.

That's when the bus Leaves for bleedswell.

We're goin' up there to get A job in the defense plant.

You can go now.

Just for that, I'm not Gonna kiss you goodbye.

Come on, alf.

Wait a minute.

Would you care to pay us for all the Beautiful work we've done on this room?

No, I wouldn't.

Just for that, I'm not gonna Kiss you goodbye, either.

Out!

Darling, here's your breakfast.

What is that?

A codfish ball.

A codfish ball?

Well, it isn't a real one.

What I did was, I took some Hotcakes and I rolled it up a lump.

And you call this A codfish ball?

What else would you call it?

Well, I'm sure if I ate It, I'd think of something.

You keep that up...

Morning, mrs. Douglas.

Good morning, eb.

Morning, mr. Douglas.

Good morning.

Can I have the day off?

What for?

I want to look for another job.

Eb, you're not going To leave us, are you?

Not entirely.

I'll be comin' home weekends.

Where are you going?

Bleedswell.

Do you want me to give you some Codfish balls to eat on the bus?

No, ma'am. I don't want To put you to any trouble.

Oh, it'll only take me A minute to roll them.

Eb, would you mind telling me what's The big attraction at bleedswell.

They're opening a Defense plant up there.

And they're offering inducements To get people to go there to work.

Didn't you read the ads they Ran in the world guardian?

Listen to this:

"Join the space age.

"Work for astro digitronics,

Makers of the mighty Mark v mokker rocket."

The mighty...

"Astro digitronics is located in Carefree, smog-free bleedswell,

The home of the Sympathetic draft board."

That's a nice thing to have.

"Astro digitronics offers More fringe benefits

"Than any other Space age company,

"Including unlimited sick Pay, free psychoanalysis,

And a year's supply Of cracked crab."

What?

Plus 10 paid holidays a year.

There aren't 10 Holidays in a year.

They include chinese new year's.

Oh, eb, here, give me that.

Read what they're Offering top scientists.

"We are in urgent need of an experienced Thermal quantitative servo engineer.

"If you are such a man, we Offer the highest salary,

"Plus free use of a Company car or a secretary,

10 percent discount on bowling Supplies, and free diaper service."

Do they get chinese New year's off, too?

The best deal is to be a structural Programming aerodynamic calibrator.

They get a duplex apartment With a swimming pool,

Plus free water skiing lessons On beautiful lake pelican.

Well, yeah, that's The best deal.

That's the one I'm Gonna apply for.

You?

What do you know about structural Programming aerodynamics calibrator?

Nothing. But if they Find one of those guys,

They're sure gonna need Somebody to sweep up after him.

Eb, you'd better leave now.

I don't want you To miss the bus.

Thanks.

Oh, eb. Yes.

Don't forget your codfish balls.

Thanks, mrs. Douglas.

You're not really going To let him go, are you?

He... He'll be back.

Well, I don't know.

He's a young boy.

And if he spends one chinese New year's eating cracked crab,

He might get hooked.

He's not leaving.

But it looks like a Lot of people are.

Well, none of the Solid citizens are.

Come in.

I can't. There Ain't no doorknob.

Oh, for...

Oh, hi. The ziffels.

Hello, mr. Douglas.

Come on, arnold. Come on, arnie.

We can't stay long. We just Come over to say goodbye.

Yeah, doris and me are Leavin' for bleedswell.

We gonna make mokker rockets.

What's wrong with arnold?

Oh, every time he hears us talkin' About movin', he gets all upset.

He doesn't want to Transfer to a new school.

Well, looks like he'd be Happy goin' to bleedswell.

Be livin' in a nice Mountain cabin.

Now, if you're gonna Take any job, fred,

It's gonna be the one with the Duplex and the swimmin' pool.

You can't be serious About leaving.

What about your farm?

Well, I can't hardly Make a livin' out of it.

You see, there ain't nothin' for me to do Between harvest time and spring plantin',

But sit around And look at doris,

Or t.V.

And which do you think Has got the highest nielsen?

Oh, fred, there you go, puttin' Me down again in front of arnold.

No wonder he ain't Got no respect for me.

Mr. Ziffel, I know That farming isn't easy,

But, uh, working in a Rocket plant, well...

You have to have some skill.

Well, during the war, I worked in The hooterville airplane factory.

I was in charge of security.

You mean they were Making aeroplanes here?

Why don't you two come To bleedswell with us?

Yeah, everyone else is going.

Newt kiley, ben Miller, roy trendell.

No, thanks. And I... I think You're making a mistake.

Well, it ain't the first Mistake I ever made.

That's the first one.

You ain't no prize package.

Well, maybe I ain't,

But I'm wrapped a little Better than you are.

One more crack and pow,

You'll be takin' off like One of them mokker rockets.

Oh, doris, we can fight On the bus. Come on.

Aren't we ever going To see you again?

Sure, honey. We'll be Back next chinese new year.

Yeah, we'll bring you back A big bag of cracked crab.

Come on, doris.

Well, goodbye. Bye, now. Come On, arnold. That's a good boy.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Oliver, all of our Friends are leaving.

Can't we do something about it?

What can we do?

Well, maybe we could get them To open up a defensive plant here.

Lisa, that's a silly idea.

So I was saying to my wife, the only Way to get people to stay in hooterville

Is open up a small defensive Pla... Uh, uh, defense plant here.

Say, that's a good Idea mrs. Douglas had.

Whoever thought of it, It's worth looking into.

What kind of plant did Mrs. Douglas suggest?

Uh,

Look, mr. Ziffel told me that during the War, you had an airplane factory here, huh?

Well, if you had enough Skilled people to make airplanes,

Certainly somebody ought To be able to open up a factory

To make small parts for missiles, Electronic equipment, that kind of thing.

Doggone, mr. Douglas.

That wife of yours Sure thinks things out.

Look, while we're Standing here talking,

Everybody's waiting to get on Haney's bus for bleedswell at 12:00.

Oh, that's not Leaving. It broke down.

It might leave tomorrow.

Well, why don't you do something About it before it's too late?

How would it be if I called an emergency Meeting of the town council tonight

And we'll see what We can think up?

Ok, why don't we Put it to a vote?

All those in favor, Raise your hands.

Ok.

Now that we voted To have the factory,

I suggest we appoint Mr. Douglas president,

Because his wife Suggested the idea.

Just a second.

I think I'm better Qualified than he is.

All right, roy. We'll put it to a vote.

All those in favor of Mr. Douglas, raise your hands.

Those against.

The vote is 4 for mr. Douglas And one sorehead against.

Well, shall we go tell Mr. Douglas the good news?

It's too late. It's nearly 9:00.

Oh, all right, fred. We'll tell Him first thing in the morning.

Meeting adjourned.

Sam, I still say I Should be the president.

Roy, you heard the vote.

Oh, hello, fellows.

Morning, mrs. Douglas. Morning.

Uh, come in, come in.

Uh, would you like To have some coffee?

Yes, ma'am.

Either of you got a cup?

Don't think so, no.

Well, I'll see if I can find one.

If I can't find a coffee Cup, would tea be all right?

Uh, mrs. Douglas, we Came to see mr. Douglas.

Oh. Oh, he's in the bedroom.

Well, I'll get you some coffee Or tea, whichever the cups are.

He ain't awake yet.

Well, I didn't come here To watch him sleep. Hey!

Wake up. Come on.

What are you doing here? -30.

Do you sleep this late everyday?

Well, I...

We don't want a president that Spends half the day sleeping.

President of what?

He ain't very well Informed for a president.

Roy, be quiet.

Uh, mr. Douglas,

Town council met last Night and we voted to reopen

The hooterville airplane company That we had here during the war.

The hooterville air...

And for suggestin' it, We're making you president.

You're making me...

Don't he ever Finish his sentence?

Well, I...

There he goes again.

Roy.

Well, mr. Douglas, What do you say?

When I suggested a Small defense plant

To keep people from Moving to bleedswell,

I... I never meant anything as Ambitious as making airplanes.

That requires millions of Dollars. You gotta have a contract...

Well, if you were any kind of a President, you'd know we have a contract.

You have a contract?

He finally said a Whole sentence.

We sure have, mr. Douglas.

With the united states army.

During the war, they gave Us an order to build 32 planes.

And we only built 26 of 'em.

So we still have 6 More to build for 'em.

You have 6 more To build for them?

That's what he said.

You don't have to Repeat everything.

What are you gonna Use for a factory?

Same as we did durin' The war, simpson's barn.

All we gotta do is get Simpson's cow out of there.

You think you can build Jet planes in a barn?

They ain't jets.

Show him the picture, sam.

Here you are, mr. Douglas.

That's the first plane that Come off the assembly line.

That's a jenny.

A world war I plane.

Well, what war did you Think we built 'em for?

I thought...

That's where I made my mistake.

Mr. Drucker, look, you're a sensible Man. You say you have a contract.

That contract was made in 1917.

It's null and void by now.

No, it ain't.

Show him the contract, sam.

On the last page. Clause 47.

Wanna borrow my glasses?

No!

Ah. And, uh... So And so and so...

"The united states army further Stipulates that said airplanes

May be delivered anytime At the company's discretion."

This means they didn't Specify a delivery date.

Read on.

"It is further agreed that This contract is irrevocable,

"And cannot be Cancelled by either party,

For any reason."

How did you get the army To sign a contract like this?

Brad fenton rammed it through.

Yeah, ol' brad, he was Sure a great rammer.

They don't make rammers Like brad anymore.

You'd better get Dressed. We got a lot to do.

Yeah, we gotta Clean up the barn,

We gotta, uh, put The ad in the paper,

Write the letter to the Air force in washington.

You're writing a letter to...

He's starting again.

We gotta let 'em know we're Gonna fulfill the contact.

Oh, boy.

I'd give anything to be There when they open it.

The secretary of defense Received this letter this morning, sir.

Thought you might Know something about it.

Ah, who's it from?

The hooterville Airplane company.

The hooterville?

They say they're about to start Production on the 6 jn-4s you ordered.

Well, I'm glad somebody's...

Jn-4s? Let me see that.

May I ask, sir, is that The new night fighter?

Jennys.

Oh. That's a good Code name for them, sir.

I imagine hooterville Is a code name, too.

I don't even know What a hooterville is.

6 jennys?

Are they swept-wing jobs, sir?

Uh, no, no. They're...

How old are you, sergeant?

22, sir.

Ah.

Come on over here.

That is a jenny.

Why did you order 6 of them, sir?

I didn't order them!

But the letter...

Is from some nut!

A wonder we ever win a war

With some of the crackpots We've got in this country.

Come on, arnold.

Halt. Who goes there?

Oh, it's me, mr. Ziffel.

Where do you think you're going?

Inside.

You got a pass?

What do I need a pass for?

Security.

We're makin' war Planes in here, you know.

Yes, I know.

How come? It's Supposed to be a secret.

I'm the president Of whatever this is.

There ain't nobody goin' in here Unless they got a pass or a badge.

Where do I get a badge?

Over there.

Here you are. Get your Security badges here.

No admittance to the plant Without a security badge.

Mr. Haney.

Howdy, mr. Douglas. What can I do for you?

Mr. Ziffel says I need a badge.

Yes, sir. What color Would you like?

I don't know. What Difference does it make?

Well, the white one Will give you entry

To the cafeteria, the men's Washroom and the employee's sundeck.

The red one will give you access

To the first 3 cow Stalls in the main floor,

But will not allow you use Of the executive coffee pot.

Now, the yellow one...

Mr. Haney, I'm trying To keep it quiet,

But I'm the president Of this happy academy.

The president!

Well, then you'll Want the gold badge.

There you are. That'll be $7.

$7?

Well, it's deductible.

Fine. Deduct it from my salary.

It's all right, I got a badge.

Mind lettin' me see it?

That ain't no good.

It ain't got your Security photograph on it.

Ah, for...

Well, where do I Get one of those?

Over there.

Smile.

Just a minute, buddy. I beg your pardon?

No one allowed in Here without a badge.

I've got a badge.

Oh, a gold one.

You must be one of the brass.

No, if you were one of the Brass, you'd have a brass badge.

Don't tell me you work here.

Yes, I'm the plant manager.

I manage these plants.

I should've let everybody Go to bleedswell.

This is bamboo.

We make the airplane Wings out of 'em.

When these are 6 feet tall, They'll be cut down, bent into shape,

Glued to the airplane, Covered with fabric, doped,

The air force insignia Painted on them,

And then off we go into The wild blue yonder.

Say, that might Make a good song.

♪ off we go into the Wild blue yonder ♪

♪ with our wings glued On and our fabrics doped ♪

Yeah, that's very catchy.

I'll hum that all the way home.

Well, I'm glad if I made your Day a little bit brighter.

Well, not brighter. The Last weather report said...

Look, look, please. Can you tell Me where I'll find mr. Drucker?

Oh, yeah, I guess he's over There in the, uh, fuselage room.

There. Take a look At it now, ralph.

One side's a little Higher than the other.

Oh, we can compensate for that

By puttin' the longer Wing on the lower side.

Excuse me.

Oh, howdy doody.

Don't howdy doody him Till you see his badge.

Here.

Gee, a gold one.

What can we do for you, goldie?

Well, I'll...

What is this?

Well, you're the president. Don't You know a fuselage when you see one?

Yes, I know one when I See one, but I don't see one.

That's the thanks we get For giving up $1.50 an hour job

As astrophysicists At bleedswell.

Don't take it seriously, ralph.

He's just sore at us 'cause We didn't finish his bedroom.

Well, we're sorry About that, mr. Douglas.

But our country comes first.

Yes, you might as well Do it to them for a while.

What did he mean by that?

Who knows? Hand me the plans.

Aren't they pretty?

We couldn't find The original plans,

So we got these out of The model airplane kit.

How are you going to use...

Oh, we're blowin' 'em up to life size.

I've seen enough.

Oh, just a minute.

We got a problem, prez.

We're runnin' out Of nails and wood.

We're gonna need Some money to buy 'em.

Oh, well, that's simple.

Uh, you're making these Planes for the air force,

Why don't you just write to Them? Tell them how much you need.

No wonder he's president.

You notice how fast he Makes those snap decisions?

Yup.

Take a letter.

Dear air force,

"Kindly forward Your check for $83.19,

"So that we can buy The nails and the lumber

To finish the 6 Jn-4s you ordered."

General, I... I don't Quite understand.

Why did you order 6 World war I jennys?

I didn't order them!

Now, look, mr. Travis,

The reason I asked you over here

Is that I thought maybe the Attorney-general's office

Could tell me if this contract Really still is in force.

January, 1918?

Where has this been?

In the sub-basement of The smithsonian institute.

Look at clause 47.

"Non-cancelable."

Who signed this?

"Woodrow..."

I can't quite make Out that last name.

The point is, is it still valid?

I'm afraid it is.

You'd better send them the $83,

Or the government Will be in breach.

It isn't the money, it's the...

W-when those 6 Jennys show up here,

How am I gonna explain it To you-know-who upstairs?

Well, have you tried talking to anyone At this hooterville airplane company?

Ah.

Who runs it?

Uh, the letter mentions someone by The name of oliver wendell douglas.

It might be a good idea To call this douglas,

And see if you can Reason with him.

I'll do better than that.

Sergeant, have my plane ready.

I'm taking off for Hooterville in half an hour.

We're approaching Hooterville, sir.

Never heard of a town That didn't have an airport.

We're coming over target, sir.

Jump!

All right. Easy, easy.

He forgot to yell geronimo.

Look, you blithering idiot,

I tell you, I'm gen. Sloat.

Keep movin'.

What you got there, roy?

A spy.

I'm not a spy, you stupid...

Oh, I suppose you jump out Of airplanes for fun, huh?

Go on, inside.

Ho-hold it! He can't go In there without a badge.

Oh, yeah. What Do we do with him?

Shoot him.

Ok.

Not in front of arnold.

Better take him over to mr. Douglas And see what he wants to do with him.

Everybody was leaving Town to make mokker rockets.

So I suggest a Little defense plant.

The next thing I know, They're building airplanes.

And I'm the president.

That's the way they do things here In hooterville. I am not interested in...

General, would you Like to have another cup?

Oh, please.

Thank... Thank you.

Uh, a-about those, uh, jennys...

General, that's an Ironclad contract,

You're going to have to Accept delivery on the planes.

There's nothing I can do about it.

There's quite a dossier on you in Washington. I noticed you were a flier.

Yes, sir.

You never resigned Your commission.

You're still in the Air force reserve.

Yeah, I guess I am.

You are herby ordered Back to active duty.

What?

We are making You chief test pilot

For the hooterville Airplane company.

And I'm proud to turn this bottle Of champagne over to mrs. Douglas,

So she can christen The first jn-4

Off the hooterville airplane Company's assembly line.

Thank you.

Oh, wait a minute. One more thing.

Be sure to stick around, because Right after the christening,

Lt. Douglas is gonna fly This plane up to 10,000 feet,

And bring her down In a full power dive.

Go ahead, mrs. Douglas.

I christen you Miss hootersville.

Long may you fly.

Well, back to the drawing board.

this has been a filmways Presentation, darling.