Original subtitles

♪ green acres is The place to be ♪

♪ farm livin' is The life for me ♪

♪ land spreadin' Out so far and wide ♪

♪ keep manhattan, just Give me that countryside ♪

♪ new york is where I'd rather stay ♪

♪ I get allergic smelling hay ♪

♪ I just adore a Penthouse view ♪

♪ darling, I love you, But give me park avenue ♪

♪ the chores ♪

♪ the stores ♪

♪ fresh air ♪

♪ times square ♪

♪ you are my wife ♪

♪ goodbye, city life ♪

♪ green acres, we are there ♪

Oliver!

Darling, are you going Into drucker's store?

Yes, I'm going to Pick up the mail.

Can you get something for me?

Why sure, honey. What?

Wait a moment. I'll get the list.

Mr. Douglas, you Goin' into drucker's?

Yes.

Well, we need a...

Doggone it.

Wait a minute, I wrote it down.

Here it is,

Huh, that's the wrong list.

Can you wait a minute?

Sure, ok.

Good. I'll be right back.

Here we are.

"Call linda."

Oh, that's a personal memo. It must be on the other side.

"Call sheila"?

First time I ever did that.

Wrote sheila on The back of linda.

Don't go away I'll Get the right list.

I'll be right here.

Here it is.

"Remind eb to call Linda and sheila"?

No, the list is on The other side.

Oh.

"One pink shower cap."

Oh, now couldn't You remember that?

Not without a list.

Ok.

Found it!

Ah, "Remind mrs. Douglas To ask mr. Douglas

To get a pink Shower cap for her"?

Mrs. Douglas takes Care of linda and shelia,

And I take care of The shower caps.

I'll see you both later.

Bye. Bye.

Gosh! Mr. Douglas sure Ain't much fun anymore.

What do you mean?

He don't get mad Like he used to.

Usually if we bug him The way we just did,

He'd go right Through the ceilin'.

Pow!

That's right. I noticed that.

He didn't "Pow" like he used to.

I wonder if he's sick?

Must be somethin' Wrong with him.

I tell you there's somethin' Wrong with mr. Douglas.

No spark.

H-he don't pow like he used to.

I don't think there's Anything wrong with him.

Well, I do.

So does arnold.

Oh, he agrees with everybody.

Well, I tell you, I sure miss 'em speeches of mr. Douglas,

How us farmers are The backbone of america

And how we built this country

With our plows, and our Hoes, and our shovels.

Yeah, and how we Plant our little seeds

In rich brown earth

And watch them push their way up

To reach for the Sun and the sky.

Yeah.

When he was in form, Everyday was the 4th of july.

Well, good morning.

Mornin', mr. Douglas.

Oh, hello there, arnold.

I kept him out of school today.

I think he's takin' A little cold.

Oh, yeah, you shouldn't, uh...

Ah, mr. Drucker, do you Have a, uh, a shower cap?

No, but I have Some bathin' caps.

Oh, that'll be fine. I... I'll take a pink one.

Arnold, if mr. Douglas Wants to wear a pink...

No... No... No, it's not for me.

It's for mrs. Douglas.

Ah, here we are.

This is our channel Swimmer model. Uh-huh.

Every one of these is personally Autographed by gertrude ederle.

Oh, gertrude ed... You Don't say! How about that?

Yes, that'll be fine.

Uh, put one in The sack, will you?

Anything else?

Uh, yes. Is the mail in?

There ain't any Mail, mr. Douglas.

Why not?

Well, you see, me And coz conway,

He's the postmaster Up in pixley,

We had a little fallin' out.

And he says he ain't gonna send The mail through unless I apologize.

Which I ain't gonna do.

Somebody ought to Complain to washington.

Holdin' up the mail like that.

Yeah. Somebody sure ought to.

Oh, no. I think mr. Drucker Will work things out.

No, he ain't got it no more.

There is a letter here For you, mr. Douglas.

It came last week but I Forgot to give it to you.

Oh?

Uh, if that was my letter I'd Raise a lot of cain about it.

That ain't no way to treat the american Farmer, the backbone of this country.

Now, mr. Drucker's only human.

There ain't gonna be No 4th of july today.

No pow, no bang.

Mmm.

Somethin' wrong?

Well, this bill here.

$12.03, the state farm Unattached duty tax.

Mine was $8.90.

Mine was $11.40.

What's it for?

"State farm unattached..."

We don't know, we get... We get one every year.

You pay it?

Well, shouldn't we?

Well, I... Are you Gonna pay yours?

Well, not till I find Out what it's for.

Well, that might Not be too easy to do.

What do you mean?

The state don't like to Give out that information.

One year, ben miller Asked what it was for

And the next year they Raised his unattached duty tax.

They raised his... $12.

Well, I'd like to see Them raise my tax

Just because I asked a question.

What question?

What this phony tax is for.

Uh, I don't know.

Then why do you pay it?

I think we lit the fuse.

Don't you pay enough taxes without Paying some anonymous farm tax?

The american farmer didn't get where he Is today by taking these things lying down.

The farmer is the Backbone of america.

He plants his seeds in The rich brown earth

And watches them push upwards, Reaching towards the sun and the sky.

Mr. Douglas.

What?

Happy 4th of july.

And they have the nerve to send me This state farm unattached duty tax.

Ah, you're feeling better.

$12.03. What's that for?

Did you get my shower cap?

Yes. This is the only state I ever heard Of that had an unattached duty tax.

You didn't buy my shower cap.

Yes, I did. Right here.

$12.03. What is that for?

That's what I'm talking about.

Not one of the fellows in the Store knew why they have to pay it.

This not a shower cap?

It's a bathing cap.

Why did you get me a pink one?

You told me you wanted pink.

Since when do you Listen to what I say?

Lisa...

Somebody put their name on this.

Uh, gertrude ederle.

I don't want to wear Somebody else's bathing cap.

That's a brand name.

Gertrude ederle swam The english channel.

She couldn't wait for the boat?

♪

Mr. Kimball.

Now, he... He can tell Me what this is for.

State farm unattached duty tax?

And you want to Know what it's for?

That's right.

Well, let's see if I can Put it in layman's language.

Mmm-hmm.

Is mrs. Douglas around?

Yeah, she's in the, Uh, the house here...

Good, good. Because of some Of the language a layman uses...

Oh, I've heard it. Come on.

Oh. Well, the state farm unattached Duty tax was first passed in 1938.

It was originally Called a state farm tax.

But then somebody found out that a State farm tax had been passed in 1925,

So they added the word "Unattached duty" to the 1938 tax

So they wouldn't get it Confused with the 1925 tax.

Is that clear?

No. What's it for?

Oh! Oh, in your Case it's for $12.03.

No... No.

How do they determine How much you owe?

Well, they take Your acreage and...

Well, they don't take your acreage Unless you don't pay the tax bill.

They have a computer With a stack of cards.

And each card has a Taxpayer's name on it.

In your case it would be, uh...

Well, whatever your name is.

Each card has Holes punched in it.

This is done at the state Department of hole-punching.

3 men work there:

The, uh, head hole-puncher,

The assistant head hole-puncher,

And his brother-in-law.

Which one punched The holes in your head?

Oh.

That's funny.

No, that's not funny. It's...

How much did you Say your tax was?

$12.03.

Mine was $18.41.

It would have been less, But I don't have a farm.

And you paid it?

Oh, we all have to Share the burden.

Oh, I don't mind Sharin' the burden

If I know what the burden is.

Oh, that's easy enough For you to find out.

Just call up the state farm Unattached duty tax bureau.

I'll do just that.

State capital Building, good morning.

Good morning, uh. This is Oliver wendell douglas.

Oliver wendell douglas? Do you know his extension?

No, I am oliver wendell douglas.

I want to talk to the farm Unattached duty tax bureau.

They closed at noon.

When will they be back?

Next june.

Next june?

Yes, sir. They just Open for one week,

Punch the cards, mail Out the tax notices,

And then they Close for the year.

Wow, I'd like to Have a job like that.

I'll connect you With civil service.

No, no. Look, I don't...

Now, will you connect me With my assemblyman, please.

Yes, sir. What's his name?

I don't know.

And you voted for him?

No, I didn't vote.

I haven't been here Long enough to vote.

Oh, you're not a citizen.

I'll connect you with the Immigration department.

I live in hooterville. Who is the Assemblyman from this district?

What's the number Of your district?

I don't know.

Well, then I have no Way of telling who he is.

Who could?

I suggest you ask Some of your neighbors.

I don't know who He is. Do you, frank?

Oh, I don't know.

How about you, sam?

I'm afraid not.

Well, somebody must know Who our assemblyman is.

No, arnold,

He's the deputy sheriff.

I don't care who the dep...

The last time you had an Election for assemblymen,

Who ran from this district?

I did. Oh?

I was defeated.

Who ran against you?

Nobody.

And you lost?

No.

Then you won. No.

Well, y-you see, election Day is the first tuesday

After the first Monday in september.

But the word got around

That it was the first monday After the first tuesday

And that's when Everybody showed up

And by that time It was too late.

When was this?

1922.

And you haven't had An election since?

Not for assemblymen.

Well, then this district Isn't represented

In the state assembly.

I guess we ain't.

Well, how about that?

How could that be?

Well, they didn't Seem to miss us.

That ain't true. They send us

Our state unattached Duty tax bill regular.

They have no right to send them.

In a democracy, every citizen Is entitled to representation.

That's... That's what the American revolution was about.

In the words of patrick henry:

"Taxation without Representation is tyranny."

Well,

We don't want to get Mr. Henry in any trouble.

He's not gonna Get in any trouble.

Look, gentlemen.

Have you paid your taxes yet?

All right, I advise You not to pay them.

We'll get in trouble.

No, you won't get in trouble.

I'm going to take this Up with the head man.

The hole puncher?

The governor.

Get your souvenirs Of the state capitol.

Get your souvenirs Of the state capitol.

Mr. Haney.

Mr. Douglas. You Goin' someplace?

The state capitol.

Got your souvenirs yet?

No, I... I...

You can save a lot of money By buyin' them here. Half price.

No, I really don't need...

How about a pennant?

"Hooray for the governor"?

By not mentionin' any name,

You can wave it for Any administration.

That's very clever.

But I don't want any.

How would you like this For your buttonhole?

Our state flower, the ragweed.

Looks like you got our State allergy, hay fever.

You know what Our state animal is?

What?

The kangaroo.

"Keep things hoppin'."

I don't really, Uh, don't need a...

Maybe you would rather have

A inflatable state fish kit.

It blows up into a Replica of a electric eel.

The state fish is An electric eel?

Recently adopted, commemorating 50 years of electrical progress.

I... I... I don't need Any souvenirs.

I'll only be there a Couple of days on business

You got your hotel Reservations yet?

You don't miss a trick, do you?

Not if I can help it.

Now, the capitol is Crowded this time of year.

But I can get you

Into the ragweed plaza,

The eel astoria, or The kangaroo hilton.

But, uh, I would suggest The glowny house.

Before I...

The what house?

Now, I can get you the Presidential suite or the royal suite.

Now personally, I would Take the presidential suite.

Cost 50 cents a day More, but it's worth it.

Mr. Haney, before I'd make A reservation with you,

I would sleep in a pup tent.

The missus goin' with you? Yes.

Then you'll need the 2-man size.

Will you take your pup tent

And your souvenirs

And get out of here?

You're sure you don't want To stay at the glowny house?

I wouldn't stay at The glowny house

If it was the last Place on earth.

What's the name of this place?

The glowny house.

I don't like it.

I got you the Presidential suite, didn't I?

Well, I don't want To be unpatriotic,

But I don't like it.

We'll only be here overnight. It's just a place to sleep.

Oliver, where is the bed?

Oh, there's...

Hello, this is mr. Douglas. I'm in the presidential suite.

What's so funny about that?

Look, there's no Bed in this room.

What? You're kidding.

Well?

There it is.

Do we have to sleep standing up?

No.

Ooh! My foot! Ooh!

Well, now you found the Bed, now look for the room.

Well, it just pulls Down at night.

How are you going to explain This to the chambermaid?

Yes, this is mr. Douglas In the presidential suite.

I found the bed

But when I try to put it back up The mattress stays on the floor.

I don't care if it Always does this!

I'm paying $1.75 for This... This suite,

And I want it fixed.

I am not going to Sleep in this room.

I'll see the governor this afternoon, We'll be out of here by tonight.

Hello, I'd like to see The governor, please.

I'm sorry, sir, you can't see the Governor without an appointment.

This is very important.

Not without an appointment.

All right. Make an appointment.

My name is douglas.

How would april suit you?

This can't wait until april.

Now, I live in hooterville.

Is that near blackwell crossing?

Where is blackwell crossing?

Near pomeroy. Where The governor was born.

That's very...

Now, if you were from pomeroy,

I'm sure I could arrange An appointment in march.

I have something very Important to discuss with him.

Mr. Douglas, why don't you Write the governor a letter

And explain what it is You want to see him about?

And if it is important enough,

I'm sure he will Arrange an appointment.

All right. I will Write him a letter.

Dear mr. Governor, I Respectfully submit

That the people of hooterville Are entitled to representation

In the legislature Of this great state.

I have...

Hello, darling.

Oh, lisa.

Well,

What have we got here?

Uh, this is miss hawkney. She's a public stenographer.

Uh, then why is she Stenographing here in private?

Lisa, would you let me get On with the letter, please,

So that I can get the Appointment with the governor?

Well, if that's all you Want. Why didn't you say so?

Come along, darling, we Won't need you anymore.

Thank you very much. That was very kind.

Lisa, I... There You are. Goodbye.

Darling, if that's all you Wanted, an appointment,

Why didn't you say so?

Hello?

Hello, I'd like to speak To washington, dee-seas.

Lisa, who are you call...

I-I-I 'd like to Speak to mrs. Bird.

Lisa!

Uh, no, I... I... I don't Know her phone number.

But she lives in a big white House on pencils-vania avenue.

O-oh, tell her It's lisa douglas.

Lisa, will you Hang up, you can't...

Hello.

Oh, hello, mrs. Bird.

It's lisa douglas.

Uh, no. We haven't been in Washington for a long time.

We moved to a farm In hootersville.

Like the kind you go to every Weekend, except this is worse.

Lisa, please.

The reason I'm calling you Is because I need a favor.

Uh, you see, my husband Wants to see the governor,

And he can't get an appointment.

Could you fix it?

Hmm?

What state?

The kangaroo state.

The kangaroo state.

Oh! You've been here?

Oh, well, thank you.

Thank you very much

Goodbye.

Lisa! All fixed.

I don't know who You were talking to.

But they won't be able to get an Appointment with the governor...

Hello?

The governor?

Yes, sir.

Uh, no, no, I didn't Make the call,

That was my wife made the ca...

I could be there in A half an hour, yes.

Yes, sir.

Any other appointments you Want me to make for you, charlie?

Lisa, who did you call?

Uh, would you repeat That, mr. Douglas.

Yes, mr. Governor.

The constitution of this State clearly says that all laws

Must be enacted By a majority of the

Representatives of The citizens of the state.

Now, if hooterville has Had no representation

In the state Assembly since 1922,

It seems to me

That any laws passed Since that time are invalid.

Well, if that's true, do you Realize the chaos it would cause?

Why, it would set the State back for years.

Cost us millions.

I am not going to allow that.

Well, now, mr. Governor, The poople of heetervil...

Uh, the people of hooterville

Have been deprived Of their just rights.

I agree, now, that People have been deprived

Of representation All these years.

And I do think that the State owes them something.

Oh, like what?

Well, how about a freeway?

A freeway?

6 lanes.

That's one more than pomeroy Has, and that's where I was born.

We don't need a freeway.

How about a nice dam?

Hold the water back.

No, we don't need a...

Subway?

Mr. Governor, it's a Very small community.

Look.

I feel that the people of hooterville Would be very well satisfied

If you could arrange a refund

Of all the taxes They've paid to the state

While they were Without representation.

Well, I think that's a Reasonable demand.

Mr. Douglas, you've Got yourself a deal.

Well, thank you, sir. Thank you.

Oh, uh, I have a little Something here for you.

As a souvenir of your Visit to the state capitol.

Put it in your car, you can Use the pouch for a litter bag.

Here you are, jerry.

Fred.

Frank.

Well, I'll be Doggone. Look, sam.

I got back $400.22.

I got $384.

Hey!

Oh, here's mr. Douglas.

3 cheers for mr. Douglas!

Hip-hip. Hooray.

Hip-hip. Hooray.

Hip-hip. Hooray.

And when I walked up to That store, they cheered.

Darling, I'm so proud of you.

Well, you deserve a lot Of credit for what you did.

You mean for sleeping on The floor on that mattress?

No. If it hadn't been for you,

I wouldn't have had the Appointment with the governor.

Who is it you called?

The same lady who gave me The card for the discount house.

Lisa.

Mr. Douglas. Mr. Douglas.

What?

You'd better get Out of town. Why?

They're going to tar and feather You for getting that tax refund.

Darling, I'm so proud of you.

Proud?

Mr. Drucker's Supplying the feathers,

And they're gettin' up a Collection for a barrel of tar.

I gave 50 cents.

Do I have to give Something, too?

No, you, uh...

Would you mind telling me What you're talking about?

The tax refund.

I thought they were Happy about that.

They were until They got the bill.

What bill?

The one the governor sent 'em.

He said since the state's Refundin' the tax money

Then we've got to pay for all The work they done around here.

$8,000 for road repair,

$9,000 for a bridge,

$3,000 for a water tank.

$222,000 for Hooterville high school.

Well, anyway, it Comes to a grand total

Of $3,498,000.22.

What?

Divide that up between Everybody in hooterville,

It comes to $600,000 apiece.

They can't...

I'm going to have to ask For an advance on my salary.

That's ridiculous!

They can't do this.

Long before this State was founded,

♪ the american farmer Lay down his rake and his hoe

To take up the fight Against tyranny and injustice,

Dumping tea into The boston harbor.

Riding through every Middlesex village and farm.

1 if by land, 2 if by sea.

And as the hoof-beats of paul revere's Horse echoed through the streets,

The american farmers came out Of the houses, out of the farms,

Out of... Oliver.

What?

Who is playing the fife?

this has been a filmways Presentation, darling.