All language subtitles for Getting Go, the Go Doc Project (2013).mp4.3.36.GB.EN

Subtitles:
Marlon Rocha Lacerda
@marlonrochalegenda (^^V^^)

3 weeks before iowa
i became obsessed...

"Show balls!"

Later, guy.

"Haven't seen you on here
before."

"THAT'S CAUSE
IT'Z MY FIRST TIME"

"Can we see your legs?"

Uh, not much to see.

Ah, fuck...

Oh shit, fuck me...

Ah, I'm gonna cum, guys.

Ah! Ah... Ah...

All of the time
I feel wired and tired

and I'm filled with ecstasy

In a white knuckled frenzy, man,
I'm freaked out for hours

hoping that
you'll notice me

But if by chance
I hear you call,

don't worry, babe,
just watch me fall, hey!

I could stand
and beat myself stupid

for the 1500 time

But if by chance
I hear you call,

don't worry, baby,
just watch me fall in love!

I want you - I need you

I want you - I need you here

Just a little over here
Just a little over...

a little over...
a little over...

a little over here
I want you!

I want you - I need you!

I want you - I want you!

Woohoo!

Hello New York, good night!

"Add a Video"

"5 MINUTES OF MY WORLD"

Are you ready
for your five minutes?

I guess by now it's clear
that I have a major problem.

So, I have a serious crush.

And I know I've said that, like,
one million times before on here,

but this time it's different.

This time it feels...
profound.

If only my rhetorical talents
extended beyond my fingertips,

then I may actually be able
to talk to the boy in question,

but, "ay, there's the rub:

for in that sleep of death
what dreams may come,

when we have shuffled off
this mortal coil."

Hamlet.
Senior year, high school.

Oh, he is a stripper, by the way -
or dancer - of the Go-Go Variety.

I actually saw him... again tonight,
flaunting himself down Avenue A.

And if I weren't so drunk...
and such a pussy,

then... I would have stopped him
and asked him:

"What is the difference between
a dancer and a stripper?"

Here, let me show you
what all the fuss is about.

Check out that epic ass!
Corn-fed!

I'd bet money on it,
If I had any money.

Here I am recording this
for posterities sake,

because God knows that my chances of
remembering this tomorrow morning are nil.

Now you are probably saying:
"Please no drunk posting.

You've already exposed yourself
to the world,

isn't that enough for one night?"

And to that I say:
No, God dammit.

I am a near college graduate,
so I do as I please.

"5 MINUTES OF MY WORLD"

Processing video...

Goodnight, fuckers.

Now, this I will definitely regret.

"get go"

"Dear Mr. Go, you're gonna think
I'm... completely insane,

and you might be right.

I-I'm a recent college graduate interested
in the field of... documentary filmmaking.

I've been researching a theoretical
idea for a documentary...

on the New York City
nightlife scene.

I... would... really love...
to meet... with you(!)...

in my search
for a subject/muse."

Uh... Oh no, "muse" is too sexual.

Uh... Fuck it.

"Yours truly, Doc."

First of all...,

I should've listened to you guys/me,
and never drunk-posted.

But, seriously, you need to see
what "Jim from Chelsea" has to say.

"'Go-go, schmo-go,
stripper-dripper...'

As long as you post a video
of you fucking said corn-fed ass,

who cares what you call him?
Better yet, invite me along

and I'll slam my grandpa sausage
into both your bums."

Really? Your "grandpa sausage"?
And that's just one of these.

You guys sure have plenty
that you're willing to say anonymously.

It's a really supportive, positive
community that we have here.

Now let me document
my imminent escape

from this shitty city
that we call New York.

Three weeks from today, this will
no longer be my humble abode.

Post-graduate academia has called me
forth... to the wilds of fair Iowa.

"go go god nyc"?
What the fuck?

"sounds fun come bi my gig tonight
i'll put you on the list.

YOURS TRULY, go"

Oh my God,
what did I write?

"[...] interested in
documentary filmmaking [...]"

No, I did not!

"I'd really love to meet you
in my search for a muse."

Fuck!

"POLYSCI 323 FINAL.docx"

"THESIS:"

"Assimilation must be the goal
of the queer community

if true equality
is ever to be won."

At least that's what I plan to argue
in my POLYSCI 323 final.

"Recent commentaries
37 commentaries"

"THESES: Assimilation must be the goal
of the queer community

if true equality
is ever to be won."

I'm not a hermit as my friends
would probably have you believe.

My problem is obsession.
I am obsessive.

And the internet just makes it
so easy, doesn't it?

"Forgot to tell you where.
Address is below.

And my digits if you need to get me.
Go"

Just fucking do it.

Hi. I... think I'm on the list.
There, that's me.

I wanna feel
alive tonight

I don't want
to take away the light

I'd rather be
the one to glow

Do I understand?
Have I learned anything? I wonder [...]

Hey, could I get a whisky and soda?
Thanks.

[...] Images shake me
right down to the bone like thunder

And if you couldn't see me,
would I walk away and just go?

I wanna feel
alive tonight

I don't want
to take away the light

I'd rather be
the one to glow

Yes, I wanna feel
alive tonight

I don't want to be
the darkness

I would rather be
the one to glow

Some day
I will fit this skin

Shining brightly
from within [...]

Jesus fucking Christ.
Just go talk to the fucker.

[...] I don't need to be...

I wanna be
the light tonight

I don't want to be
the darkness

I would rather be
the one to glow

Oh...

Oh, shit. Sorry.
Uh, I didn't realize...

- I-I didn't realize you were in here.
- It's cool, I'm done.

- Nice hat.
- Thank you. My mom...

Uh... Thank you. Thanks.

Further proof
that I am a useless idiot.

And holy shit,
he is way hotter in person.

Okay, this was crazy.
Not a good idea at all.

I-I'm a complete fucking idiot
for ever thinking that it was.

I'm getting out of here,
but for posterity's sake,

let's... all agree
that I... gave it my best shot?

Thanks.

"Waited 4 you bi the bar."

With the number 4
and "by" spelled "bi".

"Sorry I missed you." Followed by
a winking smiley face emoticon.

Oh shit!

- Doc!
- Go!

- Bathroom crasher?
- Hi.

- What's up?
- Uh, nothing much. How are you?

Good! So [...]
Is that the camera that you're using?

Oh. M-My phone? No,
I'll... I'll get a real one.

This is just for prelim research.

So..., it's pretty crazy in there.
Where do you usually hang out?

Besides my bedroom
and lecture halls? Nowhere.

Well, there's a dive bar

that my friends and I go to sometimes
to get hammered.

- US$ 2 cans 'til 10.
- That's sounds pretty awesome.

I guess you'd think that after
four years... living in the city,

I would've been
to a gay bar, but...

- Oh, you straight?
- No, not straight.

Just not "GAY", you know?
I don't really know the scene.

What's that thing?

It's like a stand, so I can...
get us both in the shot.

Could you just...
back up a little bit?

Yeah, like, to...
where that piece of trash is? Yep.

- Okay. Well, hopefully this works.
- So...,

- you're in film school?
- Uh, no.

I thought you said
you just graduated?

Uh... No, I-I haven't, uh...
I haven't quite graduated yet.

Not for, like, three weeks,
and not film school.

I'm just more
into movies and stuff.

I... I'm really more of a writer.

- Cool.
- Yeah.

So, uh...
What's this project about?

Uh... Well, it's still
in its infancy right now.

I-I'm kind of just... sussing out
the direction that... I want to take it.

I thought you said
it was about go-go dancing.

Y-Yeah, potentially.

I don't know if you want your image...
attached to-to something,

your long-lost family
out in the Midwest

- knowing what you do... here.
- California.

Okay, California.

I-I don't know if you want them knowing
what you do here to get by.

- So if you... can't, then... it's...
- It's okay. Count me in.

Uh... Wow.

Would you mind
just saying that again?

Yeah, I don't mean to be presumptuous,
but time is, time was, you know?

Sure.

- All right, let me audition for you.
- No. Uh, it's okay.

- You don't-You don't have to...
- I'm not usually a stripper.

I usually start
with my clothes off, but...

No, you... you...

Uh... Uh... No.

That-That's...

- Come on, give me your hand.
- No, no, really, it's-it's okay.

Uh... Wow, that's great!
I think I have seen enough.

I'd would love to use you

- as the subject of my movie.
- Yes!

I've always wanted
my own personal Andy Warhol.

- You mean the soup can guy?
- How old are you?

Of course, uh, Pittsburgh. I went there
on a field trip when I was a kid.

- So, uh, when do we start?
- I think we just did.

- Cute dog, man.
- Thank you.

So, is this thing gonna be
in film festivals or what?

Probably not. I think
they go for edgier stuff.

You know... Eh, I don't know, it's the age
of overexposure and narcissism,

so everyone's just kind of looking
for their... for their 15 minutes, I get it.

Well, I'm not gonna be
killing myself,

but... I think pretty much
everything else is on the table.

Beat it, beat it, beat it up (beat it up)
Beat it, beat it, beat it up (beat it up)

Beat it, beat it, beat it up (beat it up)
Beat it, beat it, beat it up (beat it)

Beat it up, seed it up, eat it up
Beat it up, seed it up, eat it up

Beat it up, seed it up, eat it up

Beat it up, beat it up,
beat it up, beat it up

Beat it, beat it, beat it,
beat it, beat it, beat it (ooh, ooh)

Beat it, beat it, beat it,
beat it, beat it, beat it (ooh, ooh)

Beat it on my jam
'til I cum, cum, cum

Beat it on my jam
'til I cum, cum, cum, cum!

Guess what, friends? I think
I just found my executive producer.

All dressed up..., and
a whole world of places to go.

"All my love, Grandma."

Thanks, Grandma,
for keepin' it old school.

Hey.
Better not fuck it up.

Please, you borrowed my Nano
freshman year;

- I haven't seen that thing since.
- What're you doin'?

Oh, uh... I just thought I should
capture this part of my life.

All right, all right, I get it.
Thanks.

Don't lose the lens cap,
please.

- Thanks, and good luck on your six finals!
- Ha ha ha. Don't rub it in!

Don't fuck it up. I'm not going
to commencement stag.

Have fun with your porno.

From sun up to sun down,

you and I hold on
to summer in a quiet town

In the breeze by the lake,

there's a summertime spell
that I just can't seem to shake

The great work begins.

My attention...

Locked up in a vice,
and I'm afraid

Days and nights go by
and I want to stay

here with you [...]

Hello? Go? Is that okay?
Can I call you "Go"?

"Go's" cool.
Hey, I got a question.

An actor friend of mine said I should
ask if there's any money in this for me?

Oh, uh... Uh...

Well, cash is pretty tight
right now, but, uh...

I... I don't-I don't know.
I hadn't really thought of that.

This is kind of more
of an experiment for me.

Well, my friend said,
you know,

what if this thing blows up
and gets, like, really popular

and, like, sells for, like,
a million dollars?

No, yeah,
I know what you mean.

Uh... Well, I could...
split any profits... with you?

I could cut you a percentage, like,
maybe three percent or something.

- We could do a contract and everything.
- That doesn't seem like very much.

Yeah, well, it's just, I...
just bought all the supplies

and I'll be doing all of the producing
and... directing and... shooting.

I-I could...
just pay for your food...

while we're shooting,
and-and buy you metro cards

so you don't have
to pay for anything.

Okay, yeah, I get it. Let me talk
to my friend and get back to you, cool?

- Yeah, okay. Cool.
- Right, catch ya.

[...] This could just be infatuation

Could last a day
or a year

I know the danger
in rejection

And from my mind
you appear

And now I have
one final question

Where is the place
I'd die to be?

Here with you

Here with you

Hola, followers. I've been... waiting
on pins and needles.

Is that the saying?
"Pins and needles"?

For some reason that just sounds
ridiculous to me right now.

Anyways, I've been... patiently waiting...
Go's response about his decision.

And I just got this text:

"What's up, Doc? Come to the club tonight.
Before 1. Got some news."

Slightly cryptic, but
let's see what Mr. Go has to say.

Hey, what's up?
So, I'm glad you came.

I really wanted to do this
in person.

- Uh, no problem.
- So, I talked with my friend...

If you give me five... percent,
I'll do it.

Dude, that's great!

- Yeah?
- Okay, totally!

Fuck, that was too easy.
I should've asked for seven.

He's about half an hour late.

So I guess he's
on go-go boy time.

- What's up?
- Go!

- How are you?
- Hi. Good.

- Did I scare you?
- Kinda.

Roar!

- Sorry I'm late.
- It's okay.

- You been here a long time?
- Uh, no.

- Just a few minutes.
- All right, good.

- All right.
- All right.

- You ready to... think about yourself?
- Uh... As little as possible.

- Sure, go for it.
- Let's start with a... basic and easy one.

Where did your history
with go-go dancing begin?

When I first moved here - was, like,
four or five years ago - to New York,

and..., uh..., I started dancing
at a strip club,

'cause I just wasn't making
enough money at the other jobs I had.

But that only lasted
about two months... two months,

'cause it was... kind of like
not a super, safe environment.

I just knew it was, like, "all right, this
is a bad... this is a bad place to be",

so I stopped dancing completely.

And then I got fired
from my other two jobs that I had.

I had-I had a really good job.

I was working for-as a makeup
artist for, like, two years.

I got fired for, uh...
Well, whatever.

So basically,
I went to this other club,

and they kept asking me to work there,
to dance there.

And I finally was like,
"yeah, sure, whatever,

I have nothing else going on", so
I did that, and I just started getting...

asked to do other gigs
all over the city.

So... I was like, "yeah,
sure, it's fun, easy".

I get to hang out with people.
I'm kind of actually anti-social,

so it forced me to, like,
come out of my house

and, like, interact with people.
So it was good.

What is the relationship bet... between
a go-go guy and-and his audience?

Talking to someone
or being genuine with them,

giving them some sort of
personal expression

from yourself,
a wink or a smile,

or a handshake or a hug,
or a teabag or whatever.

You know what I mean? I-I think
it makes people feel... good.

Because obviously if they
are putting some of, like,

emotional... need towards you
and you respond to that,

that makes them feel like they've had
some sort of... beneficial interaction.

I think the idea of someone
putting themselves on display

or putting themselves in a, like,
voyeuristic expression

is what turns people on,
not necessarily the-the actual person.

'Cause I've seen ugly go-go boys
make lots of money.

I've seen ugly prostitutes
get awards,

so I don't think it necessarily
has to do with what they look like.

- So there are prostitute awards?
- Yeah.

- And what's your favorite part
of your body? - Uh...

I like my brain.

- You can't say that.
- Why?

I don't really... I don't really
look at myself like that.

What's your least favorite part
of your body?

Uh... My penis, it's so small.

- Are you being serious?
- No.

It's really hard to gain weight.

I have to, like, work
really hard to gain weight.

So that's... one thing that I don't like;
my metabolism's really fast.

What if you don't feel like
being pawed at that night?

What do you do
to get yourself in the mood?

Uh, I guess...
just fake it 'til you feel it.

I rose into the sky

imploded within myself

I burnt the alibis,

I did it for my health

I see it in your eyes,

the way it looks in me

Although we wear disguise,

we'll never be that free

Hold me now,

tell me that it's in you

Hold me now,

tell me that it's true

Hold me now [...]

Ladies and gentlemen,
welcome to the... home

of... New York's finest boy
on the box. Here we go.

What's up?

- Hi.
- Hi, how are you?

You comin'?

- Do you, uh, want some water or anything?
- Okay.

All right.
Let's get you some water.

- Here you go.
- Thanks.

- It's hot today, right? Cheers.
- Huh.

Yeah, it's hot. Do you like it
when it's hot outside?

Yeah, it's whatever. So it's a good
excuse not wear any underwear, right?

Yeah, I guess.

You want to... see the rest of the place?

Yeah, yeah, of course. I need to,
uh, see your natural habitat, don't I?

So, this is... Santi's room.
He takes pictures. He's really good.

This is a figurine
that I pulled out of his anus once,

'cause he sat on it
and it got stuck.

- Ugh.
- I'm totally kidding.

Sometimes when I think
things are funny, I don't laugh,

- Oh.
- so don't, like, be offended.

I won't. I'll keep making
sex jokes,

so... I hope you're okay
with that.

This is, like, the, uh,
eating and hang out area.

More random stuff.

What's that?

That's for tattooing.
This is alcohol and green soap.

- And this is my bedroom.
- Oh, wow.

- Are these your paintings?
- Yeah, I did all of these ones.

- Is this you here?
- That's a self-portrait, yeah.

- You don't really look like that, though.
- If you take LSD, I'll look like that.

- I mean, it's nice, but...
- Thanks.

Apparently, I'm making a movie
about a painter who likes to dance.

I do both. I'm extremely versatile.
And, so...

So, this is your room.

- This is my room.
- And your Elvis.

- I'm a huge Elvis fan.
- So you sleep with him every night.

I don't wanna be
I don't wanna see

Cuz I don't wanna dance

But you can [...]

Listen, I've never had someone to film me
eat something before.

It's nothing to be ashamed of.
Actually it is.

- I mean, I guess if you're
eating pussy. - And?

Probably better than pussy.

My friend was telling me about, uh,
like, class systems for, like,

different kinds of gays,
like, gold star gays.

If you've had sex with a girl,
that means you're not a gold star gay,

- that means you're a bronze gay.
- What's your medal?

I'm not sayin'.

- Really?
- Yeah.

Do you have a favorite part
of your body?

- Did I already ask you that?
- I said "my brain".

- You said I can't say that.
- Oh, right, you can't.

- Do you want to change your answer?
- Uh...

You can have a favorite part
of your body.

- That's perfectly okay.
- I like my tattoo.

It's a snake. It's supposed to be
your, like, kundalini,

but in a non very
traditional way.

It rises up through your, uh,
belly up to your head.

These are these microscopic organisms
from the ocean,

by this, uh, scientific artist
named Ernst Haeckel.

They're just really beautiful.

And they look like floral,
but they're not flowers.

So I got those 'cause I thought they were
really pretty and kind of vaginal, and...

they look like sex organs.
You know what I mean?

So I liked that.
'Cause they're pretty.

And then I have a fly...,
'cause I'm the shit.

- Really?
- No.

I just-I thought it looked really trashy,
and I was attracted to that.

Do you think that there is
a part of your physical body

that people are attracted to...
most?

Uh... I think people
like personality,

like..., people that interact
with them.

And as a performer, you think
that's what they respond to?

Well, I mean,
which would you rather watch?

A baboon presenting
its anus all blown up and red,

or would you rather watch a baboon randomly
eating, like, salad in a corner?

Like, obviously you are gonna watch...
the sexual presentation

above the... the m-mundane one.
So, not that I present my ass...

so literally, but
you know what I mean.

So, can you... maybe
walk me through

how you... decide
what to wear every night?

Well, I guess it depends on what party
I'm going to, or what kind of event it is.

And whether or not I'm going to be

flashing anyone my balls
or tea bagging.

So I-I guess that changes
what type of underwear you're wearing?

Yeah, 'cause some you can just, like,
zip open and your balls fall out.

Others are just assless.

Can you show me some-some of the options?

I really like this guy right here.
He, like, shows off my nuts really good.

And I like this one... because
it's like barely anything there.

Sometimes I wear, like, this guy
if it's, like, a pothead party.

Have you ever been dancing
and really uncomfortable

in what you're wearing,
and it fucks up your vibe?

Yeah, I made this, like,
jockstrap out of, uh, mylar once.

And it was, like, shiny
and, like, silver,

and it was, like, scratching
the shit out of my legs.

So that was really uncomfortable.

Do you have a favorite or lucky
pair?

Well, these ones always make me look
like I'm naked, so that's pretty good.

So tonight I think I'm going
to wear... this little gold number

just 'cause I'm feeling
a little extra flirty.

Lets everyone know
I've never slept with a... woman.

- Right. Gold...
- Gold star, gold star gay.

Gold star gay, right.
I'm learning.

- That could work with the gold.
- Oh, yeah, totally.

- Did you make that?
- I did make that, yeah.

- So that's it.
- That's it.

All right, I think
I'm gonna go shower.

- Oh, I'm sorry.
- You can keep filming.

You sure?

Whatever helps you
get your rocks off, dude.

Oh, okay.

I mean, I'm naked in front
of people for money all the time,

so if one person films me,
I'm not really that concerned about it.

All right, I'm gonna go shower.

You want to come?
What's up?

What's up?

- So, uh...
- Wazzup?

- Hi, what's up?
- What's up?

Do you shave or trim
before you go out?

I, uh, use a buzzer.
Buzz my chest and stuff like that.

Do you think some guys
like you to be hairy,

and some guys
like you to be... soft?

I think for the most part
people just want to make sure

you have a big ass
or a big dick, or both, right?

I guess so, but... they
can't even see your dick.

Oh, I might show it to them
anyway.

Oh... Okay.

I feel like gay guys
like really hairless guys.

Some gay guys do,
like in Idaho or Ohio. Idaho...

So, Midwestern guys
like less hair,

but guys in New York
like the... furry...

I feel like people that tan
like less hair...

Oh.

...than like big furry bears
that are all white.

Look at you, full of wisdom.

Is there a way that
you prefer your body hair?

Well, I guess it's really
not up to me,

'cause I'm not the one
with the cash and the fantasy.

So, what else do you do
to get ready?

I basically just make sure, you know,

I'm clean and... decent enough to touch.

(Oh my God.)

So, what's your perspective
on this thing anyway?

I don't know. I...
Just you so far.

Aren't you supposed to have, like, an idea

or some sort of, like..., thesis
or something like that?

Well, I-I figured I'd just try to find
a story in your story.

- I'm just... gonna go with the flow.
- That's cool. I'm down with that.

Well, I guess it's too late now
to turn back, right?

Yeah.

Ready, Doc?

Hey guys, this is Doc.

He's making a movie about me,
so be nice, okay?

What's up?

Great ass, by the way.

Resolution

Show me some

Dig your ditches,
count my stitches

Generation justice
wishes for

World at war,
final score

Media come and abhor us
with its heart

Resolution

Time for some

resolution

Hard times,
hard times

And they only see you
with their fear

They only hear you
with their pride [...]

Whoa, buddy.

What... really is
in a "Crush Me" slushy anyway?

[...] harder, harder,

harder, harder

Resolution

Time for some

resolution

Hard times,
hard times

Walked into the bank,
I walked into the bank

Pushed through the revolving doors
and past the guard

And up past the costumers
up to the counter

Said: Ladies and gentlemen,
listen to me

This is a robbery

Ah... Sit down, stand up

Lie down
with your face to the ground

Stand up
with your hands to the wall

And give me all your money

Give me all your valuables,
give me all your money

Give me all your valuables,
give me all your money

Did not count the sleeping pills

Floating he,
floating he pales

Flies to Puerto Rico

Holds up, holds up,
holds up the bank

Smiles when the picture
hits his face

Smiles when the picture
hits his face

Smiles when the picture
hits his face

Smiles when the picture
hits his...

Now hold-up, hold-up,
hold-up, hold-up

Hold-up, hold-up,
hold-up, hold-up

Smiles when the picture
hits his face

Smiles when the picture
hits his face

Smiles when the picture
hits his face

Smiles when the picture
hits his face

Okay, I'm all done.
Was that too quick?

Do you remember the first time
a man flirted with you?

Yes, I was three.

I was a very flirtatious child,

so I would flirt with lots
of different kinds of people,

like, women and men.

I was never, like, scared or nervous
about flirting or anything like that.

I used to shove my hands down,
like, women's tops

when I was, like, three,
in church.

What are you attracted to?
Like, what's your type of guy?

I like people
that communicate effectively.

- That's a really big deal for me.
- No, I mean physical.

Oh, it's like, all over the board.
I like everything.

It's in the way that you smile

when you walk around

I want to be let in,

go inside your world

It's in the way that you stare,

thinking at the clouds

I want to be let in

deep inside your world

Here in the summertime,

in fantasy here with you

Do you realize?
Re... Realize?

I've fallen, fallen, fallen
for you, for you, girl

I've fallen [...]

- What the fuck is all that?
- Don't tell my trainer.

Oh God.

Oops.

Have you ever had a boyfriend
that... works at the club?

- Uh, no.
- Why not?

I don't know. I don't really trust
other people that work in nightlife.

- But you expect them to trust you?
- I guess so.

It's a little bit of a double standard, huh?

Is this... pretty typical?
Dinner time at 4 am?

Oh, yeah, for sure.

There's no way you could eat
like this every night.

Yeah, why not?

I gained five pounds
just by looking at food this late.

- Well, you gotta eat to live.
- Yeah, says the Adonis,

as he ingests
2000 calories at 4 am.

Thanks.

- Take off your clothes.
- No. Shut up.

- Start with your shirt, come on.
- No, I'm not going to take my shirt off.

- Uh... No.
- Your turn.

You're shirtless for a living.

I'm shirtless for showering
and doctors appointments.

Stop!

Come on, take it off.
Take off your shirt.

Come on.

Fine.

- See? That wasn't so hard.
- Yes, it was.

So you're like a middle-aged
lady in bed? Lights out first?

I don't know. I guess.

Yeah, but the last time,
if I remember correctly,

- the lights were off.
- Yeah, you really had to think about that.

- It was a long time ago.
- How long?

- I don't know. A while.
- How long is a while?

- Eight months, maybe a year.
- What? Are you fucking kidding me?

I don't know, I'm-I'm content
with my online sex life.

It's fast, easy..., clean.

I always assumed
I'd just... wait 'til marriage.

- Hmm, well, that's kind of sweet, I guess.
- Yeah.

And I've been flirted
with... precisely three times.

- That you know of.
- Yeah.

You're not exactly perceptive
about that stuff.

Guys are not interested.

Damn, boy.
That ass must be so tight.

Wait a minute...
You're a virgin?

I mean, no. I've had tons of oral sex.
Especially in high school,

and especially
in my senior year of high school.

I mean, unless you are
counting fingers,

'cause I have
topped and bottomed digitally

with varying degrees of... success.

- Oh my God.
- It's not funny.

- You're fucking adorable.
- No, I'm just scared.

- Scared of what?
- Uh...

Disease, pain, nudity,
commitment, poop.

Okay, I think that's enough.

Truth or dare?

No, I-I-I think
I'm-I'm okay with my...

electronic representations
of you.

Come on, even Andy
slept with his subjects.

But our sex life
is perfectly healthy already.

Then we'll make love.

Wind in the wires

It's the sigh
of wild electricity

I'm on the edge of a cliff

- Hey.
- Hey.

Surpassing comfort
and security [...]

You're adorable.
You're adorable.

You're adorable.

You want to shower first?

- No, I'm... I like you dirty.
- Okay.

[...] Sea birds are blown
into the rocks

Grace is lost to thunder [...]

And you're a virgin?

Can I?

[...] Thunder

Pressure

Getting lower

See her waters break [...]

It's okay.

[...] into a granite wave

A unit, a family

Give me your camera.

It's just a sigh

Just a sigh

This wild

electricity

Made static

by industry [...]

God.

I don't know
if I want to film this.

You wanted to see where your movie went.
Well, here it is. It's in my bed.

So, what are you gonna do?

- You are really beautiful.
- Thank you.

[...] Just singing to be free

This wild

electricity

Made static

by industry

Like a bird

in an aviary

Yeah.

Singing to the sky

You put it on me.

Just singing to be free [...]

Slow, slow.

- Sorry.
- It's fine.

Just keep it there for a minute.

Oh my God. Keep goin'.

Oh...

Ah. Fuck.

My leg.

[...] And alone
I'm singing to the sky

And alone just singing
to be free, to be free

Give me back...

my family

And alone
I'm singing to the sky

And alone just singing
to be free, to be free, to be free

Singing to the sky

Give me back, give me back
my family

- When did you lose your virginity?
- When I was 15.

- Can you tell me about it?
- Uh, it was a friend, he was 17,

and it was, like, on the night
of my 15th birthday.

And... I was, like, really horny.

I had seen, like, a few porns, and I was,
like, "all right, I'm ready to do this".

I mean, it wasn't...
it wasn't super great.

It was, like, really awkward,
and I was drunk.

And then the next day,
were you excited?

Uh... I was just, like, whatever.
Like, I got that done, out of the way.

How many people
have you had sex with?

I don't know. I tried to write a list
before and, like, lost count.

I'm sure it's, like, not that many,
but I mean, I don't know.

I'm not gonna be, like,
"oh, I'm so proud,

I've only had sex with five people",
'cause I haven't.

And I'm not gonna be, like,
"oh, I'm so proud,

I've had sex with 500 people",
'cause I haven't.

Do you think that people that watch you
dance want to... fuck you?

- Some of them, I'm sure.
- Have you ever thought about that?

- No.
- Really?

Have you ever had cyber-sex?

Probably whatever you're thinking
I've probably done it.

Do you think that, uh,
people... use you

as part of their personal sex life
via the internet?

Yeah, people have told me that
they've jerked off to pictures of mine.

And I say, "thanks, it's sweet".

What am I supposed to do? Jerk them off?
"Oh, thanks, that's awesome!"

What's up?
What's up?

- Should we turn the camera off?
- I guess so.

I just thought
of a really cool painting.

- Don't forget it.
- I won't.

You're money's over there.

Beautiful dreamer,
wake unto me

Starlight and dewdrops
are waiting for thee

Sounds of the rude world
heard in the day

Lull'd by the moonlight
have all pass'd away

Beautiful dreamer,
awake unto me

Beautiful dreamer

I might like to

be in love with you

I might like to dance

I might like to

I see your face

on my pillow case,

in my secret space

I see your face,

face,

face

Face,

face,

face

Face

face,

face

I might like high

I might like low

I might want to go

Put you in my show,

show,

show

Show,

show,

show

Show,

show,

show

I'll maybe let you
into my dream

I'll maybe let you

I'll maybe let you
into my dream

I'll maybe let you

I'll maybe let you
into my dream

I'll maybe let you

Well, it seems odd to interview
myself for my own film,

but apparently,
I am to make a cameo.

I'm not altogether happy about that fact.
But... here we are.

I... honestly, uh,
kind of feel dirty.

Not in a good way.

Maybe if... Go's arms
were to be my forever home.

But they're not.

So, here I am...,
an amateur porn performer.

Was it good for you?

You know, you really need
to get laid more.

I know.

- If for nothing else, then for the cause.
- Yeah? What's the cause?

Well... Every time we fuck,
it's like...

a political statement, you know?

And... the mere act
of us penetrating each other...

is like... an exercise in freedom.
And... I don't know about you,

but I like to exercise
my freedom as much as possible.

I didn't know you were
so patriotic.

The American flag on the door
didn't give it away?

You can't walk into a gay bar,
an event,

or even a neighborhood
without seeing a guy

dancing on a table
in his underwear, or less.

You don't realize how fucked up
people think that is?

That we're unwilling to be
bound by their puritanical roots?

But why does everything
have to be about sex?

Because that's what they've reduced us
to for centuries: just fucking.

So we defy them by being
exactly what they expect?

No. We defy them
by owning their judgment.

You want us to keep
losing our identity?

No, but I... think it might
be helpful if we lost some of it.

No. I don't want our uniqueness
to keep disappearing

into this void of political correctness
and pop culture.

Come undress me now

Come undress me,
I have prettied myself

With a ball and chain

That field is a flood,
that soul is undone

That water runs down, down, down
into the mud

That side is a muck,
those horses are stuck

That water runs down, down, down
into the blood

You're the finder now

When my life stopped
lying around

That field is a flood,
that soul is undone

That water runs down, down, down
into the blood

Oh [...]

I have to apologize
to my 37 followers...

Well, 39 now, actually...,
for neglecting you.

My obsession has grown... into longing.
It's like I want to take care of him.

I don't want him to make a living
from the dollars of gropers anymore.

I don't want him to be seen
as an object by anyone but me.

I just want to rip
that hat off his head

so the world can see his eyes
and not his ass. I'm really confused.

I don't want you to hide,
I want you to be free.

This is, of course,
coming from, uh, a fucked up,

almost college graduate, who
has basically nothing to offer you.

This is irrational.
Maybe we should just get married.

Maybe we should just
run away from the city together.

You don't want to be here
any more than I do.

So, we'll go to Iowa...
and you can just tattoo people, or pigs,

or whatever you do and...
paint and make clothes, and I'll write.

I'll be a writer.
I love him.

And it's not like
that romantic kind of

"I need to spend the rest of my life
with this person" kind of love.

'Cause I've never felt that,
and... I-I don't think I have.

I don't know if he's ever really gotten
the... love that he deserves.

And if no one's willing
to step up,

then... I feel the responsibility
to take the job.

I know I'm being naive.

I'm sure I'm the millionth fag
to think I can make a difference.

But, you know? None of them did it,
and maybe I will.

People can change. I know that,
at least, from my experiences.

And then, Jesus, there's that ass!
It's like an ass from another planet.

And I know I'm not the first
visitor to planet go-go ass.

I may not be number 100...,
but... maybe I can be the last?

- When was the last time you were in love?
- Not too long ago.

Dot, dot, dot...

Do you believe in commitment
and monogamy?

Monogamy is a rare thing,

and I think commitment
is an even rarer thing.

It's hard to maintain that kind
of intimacy with people.

I think.
But I think it's possible.

Relationships are hard because
sometimes it becomes painfully obvious

that you guys are in two different emotional
states and that they don't align.

I definitely had
a situation like that.

- So tell me about it.
- I don't want to.

Maybe if we stepped down
off the go-go box

and started being
a little bit more normal.

So... Stalking a go-go boy is normal,
but being one isn't?

No, I'm just saying that
there's... nothing more unique

about being gay than
there is about being straight.

It's narcissistic to think so.

"Normal" is just something that
a bunch of people pretend that they are.

Well, statistically, no;
there-there is a "normal".

But... I get it.
It's natural to rebel.

Personally, I think that... it takes
more courage to be average,

to be boring
and just try and assimilate.

I think it's more threatening
to the statistically normal person...

to... act like they do.

Anyone can look at a homo
like a really... "out there,

acting as uniquely
as he possibly can" kind of homo...

and... you know, feel like
they don't understand that,

and... they don't need to understand that.
And they never will.

But if we all acted and talked
and... thought the same way...,

think of the minds
that we would fuck.

- You've heard of Hitler, right?
- Come on...

I'm not saying we should all
be pale blondes with blue eyes.

No, just office drones
with khaki pants and polos.

You don't want to be normal.
You want to be an artist.

Being an artist
is so overrated, though.

Everyone's an artist.
Or at least they think they are.

I think that most people
now believe

that the only thing separating
them from fame and fortune

is... the finish line
of a reality show.

I don't know why my voice is
any more unique than... any of theirs.

Let's go to sleep.

It's like that fame is
the new American birthright.

We... do anything for it...,

and yet we... feel cheated
somehow if we don't get it.

What's your thesis again?

The goal of the queer community
must be assimilation...

if true equality
is ever to be won.

- Ow.
- That's fucked up.

You know, Warhol's
whole point of view was assimilation,

a bunch of nearly identical
soup cans.

No, it wasn't. Warhol's point
was about the mundane life of the 50's,

and it was a pretty radical statement
at the time.

No. He wanted to be famous. He wanted us
to lose the parts of ourselves

that made us less than ideal,
and he led by example.

I don't want to be different.
I don't want to be unique.

I just want to be...
like everybody else.

As soon as you stick your thick
prick up someone's butt,

you lose that luxury.

Look, your essay
is totally fucking colonial,

but your writing is really good.

Should I burn it
and start over?

You should brush your teeth.

Yeah, why not?

I don't want people to see me
doing my hair.

Put the video down,
I'll show you.

Look, watch.
You're gonna try and film it.

Hey! Hey.

- Now I have to go get it filled in.
- I'm gonna go to Puerto Rico.

I can't believe
you're recording that.

You don't understand
a word we're trying to say

You don't listen to us anyway

All of this it's just for fun

We're not out
to hurt no one

Fun! Fun! Fun!
That's what we say

Fun! Fun! Fun!
That's what we play

Fun! Fun! Fun!
No matter what they think

Fun! Fun! Fun!
We'll have some anyway

I'm a punk
and I like Sham!

Cockney Rejects
are the world's greatest band

But I like Joy Division,
Public Image too

Even though that's not
what I'm supposed to do

Yeah!

Fun! Fun! Fun!
That's what we say

Fun! Fun! Fun!
That's what we play

Fun! Fun! Fun!
No matter what they think

Fun! Fun! Fun!
We'll have some anyway

Ladies and gentlemen...,
welcome to the stoop

of New York's finest boy
on the box.

Except this time,
I have my cap and gown.

This is fucked up.
This is fucked up.

Fuck!

What? Do you need cash?
'Cause I can just give you cash!

I-I didn't think that five percent
would get my exclusivity, but...

No, I'm not fucking coming back.
There's no way.

It's your job to make people
think that you like them?

You're not a job.
I mean it. You're different.

Clearly.

Do you know that before I met you
I was saving myself?

- For the right guy?
- Doc, I'm sorry.

I can't believe I gave it up
to a fucking stripper.

- I feel like a fucking idiot.
- Fuck you! You wanted drama [...]

No, I wanted drama for the movie,
not for my life.

That's not true.

You don't think I didn't know
this whole thing was shit

from the beginning?
You didn't even have a camera,

let alone a fucking clue
about what you were doing.

That's not fair.

Obviously you were using this
as a way to get close to me,

and guess what, it worked.

Well, maybe I didn't know
another way to do it.

Why do we have to be
so serious?

Because this is serious...
to me!

Come on, Doc.

I have to go to the boy's room.

- Doc...
- Please don't.

- Look...
- This is embarrassing enough.

I'm sorry.
I really am.

Hold on, I have an idea.

- No, not now.
- Film this.

I want you to film this.

Your friendship means a lot more to me
than five percent of anything.

So...

Come here.

I totally get it
if you have to walk away.

You're gonna shoot me now?

Who is the first guy
that flirted with you?

I don't know, I think touching...
came before flirting.

- It was at summer camp.
- Where did he touch you?

He touched me, like,
on my leg and then... on my dick.

- Did you like it?
- Yeah.

- How old were you?
- Thirteen?

I remember going to sleep that night
thinking that I had... committed a crime,

like, that I had murdered
somebody.

- Oh, really?
- I... felt such immense guilt.

Where do you think
that guilt came from?

It's so funny
that people smile

when they...
are not happy sometimes.

Like, I just smiled so big,
but I'm not... happy,

I'm just... embarrassed...
and kind of, like,

don't want to tell you
what I'm thinking.

So now you have to tell me,
you know that.

Uh...

I think that I have a lot
of guilt... built up over the years

from being a kid who... always
felt like he had something to hide.

This sense of being found out

or this worry... that
you grow up with as a gay kid.

I guess it keeps me inhibited.

What do you find
most attractive about a guy?

I like... people
that don't give a fuck.

I don't think I could really be
with anyone like that..., but...

It's wonderful
what a smile can hide,

if the teeth shine bright
and it's nice and wide

It's so magical
all you can keep inside

And if you bury it deep,
no one can find a thing, no

So come on now, open wide,
open up now

Don't you think it's time?

To look back at that boy
on his way to school?

Such a heavy heart,
such a heavy jewel hiding

something
that one day he'll sell

But now if no one asks,
no one tells a thing, no

So come on now, open wide,
open up now

Don't you think it's time?

Now after all these years
you are at last opening

Was it worth all that war
just to win?

So caught up in the speed
and the weight of your sin?

Don't forget
how the story begins

Don't forget now

Wow!

Now I'm seeing
all your lovers and enemies

They've been turning their keys
so full of greed

All trying to see
that jewel you keep,

what makes it shine,
what makes it mine

But I don't care

Come on now, open wide,
open up now

Don't you think it's time?

Now after all these years
you are at last opening

Was it worth all that war
just to win?

So caught up in the speed
and the weight of your sin?

Don't forget
how the story begins, oh

Don't forget now

Take me back
to where it begins

Before the speed
and weight of your sin

Come on, take me back
to where it begins now

Before the speed
and weight of your sin

Come on, take me back
to where it begins now

Is it worth all that war
just to win?

Hey!

Come on, take me back
to where it begins

Come on, open wide
and let some love in

Greetings, followers. Uh, welcome
to five minutes of my world.

As I'm sure you guessed,
today was supposed to be different.

This cap and gown
was not my fantasy.

I'm not supposed to be alone wearing it,
but time is, time was, right?

So take it in.

This is... your
last fleeting moment.

This one's for Go...,
and then it all goes.

I'm behind you,
you don't see me

I watch you
when you are near me

You say words
the sound is missing [...]

Take the robe off?
No way. It's symbolic.

[...] Sound on sound

Sound on sound

Sound on sound

Love is just infatuation

You are me
and I am you

Looking back,
it's just reflection,

it's just something else
to do

Sound on sound

Sound on sound

Sound on sound

Sound on sound

Sound on sound

Sound on sound

Sound on sound

[...] anti-estatais, se continuar insistindo
que o primeiro-ministro, Temer(?!) [...]

- You about done with my camera?
- Almost.

To my son.

Congratulations!

Today is the day that I vow to stop
obsessing... over anything or anyone.

No more cyber-stalking.
I've even killed my Facebook and my blog.

I want to... do and say
and think and... be

and eat and sleep with... and kiss
anything or anyone that I want to.

And I won't need...
a half a bottle of bourbon

or any number
of pink, gay slushy drinks to...

Sorry, I'm...

Okay. Where was I?
Uh...

I'm just gonna be myself.
That's the bottom line, I guess.

Starting with Go.

You seem nervous.

I have another phone
if you need an angle.

I'm fine, thanks.

Go, my subject, my muse,
my obsession...

My friend, my first...

And this is the first time
I've ever been this close to a guy.

And the truth is,
it feels really good -

the proximity,
emotionally and physically.

From up close, in the light of day,
I can see that you're not perfect.

You have blackheads,
you have ear hair.

You have a mole on your stunning
pectoralis major muscle.

Your hairline is very slowly,
but surely, receding.

One day your physical beauty
is gonna fade

and... you'll be left
with what's underneath.

A little bit of narcissism,
a lot of neediness.

This isn't fair.
Why do you get to judge me?

Just let me finish, please.

Okay, I just want to say a few things
to get them off my chest,

because I've been saying them
over and over

to myself in my apartment and I
feel like you're the only person

that I really want
to know these things, so...

I don't really like Madonna.

I don't want to have to worry
about... the pattern of my chest hair.

I don't want to have to worry
about the size of my calves.

I'm not a twink or a bear
or a cub or an otter.

I'm not fat or fem
or a power bottom. I'm just me.

And you know I'm more
than all those things.

I know and...
I love you for it.

I don't mean to belittle you
or any other homosexual

that likes vodka sodas
with a splash of cranberry

'cause they're only
109 calories -

if you don't count the cranberry,
'cause it's only a splash, right?

I just... have never felt
like part of their community.

Okay, this is it.
The end.

- What?
- This is the final shot.

- I thought you don't leave 'til friday.
- Yeah, but I have a life.

I have other things
I need to take care of.

I know that, but I'm around.
I can help you do whatever you need.

It's okay, I got it.
Thank you.

Don't you want
one last summer in New York?

I have to be out
of my apartment by friday.

You could crash here with me.

Fuck, Doc.
I don't want it to end like this.

Can you turn the fucking camera off?
Can you just turn it off?

The whole world
could fall apart [...]

- Why are you doing this?
- I-I had to say thank you...

for... showing me a new side of myself
that really I had never known,

and for bringing me out
of my shadows.

And I also wanted
to apologize for all the...

I don't know...
See? I-I'm not good at this.

I'm-I'm not
a people person.

This-This is exactly why I've never...
I am a social misfit.

- No.
- Yeah, I am.

It's okay, at least I'll always
know there's one person

in my tribe
that thinks I belong.

[...] And I exist
with you right here forever

and with your bliss [...]

I'm sorry I hurt you, Doc.
I... I didn't mean to.

It wasn't intentional.
And I didn't bring you out of any shadows.

You did that all on your own.

I was just some piece of ass
on a computer screen

that lured you out.
This was real.

We're both just fighting
for the same thing.

I don't know why you're talking
like you never want to see me again.

Because we shouldn't
fuck it up for each other.

And we haven't,
and we won't.

- I have to go.
- Come on, Doc.

Fake it 'til you feel it.

[...] Into bliss

Into [...]

I think you need
to rewrite your paper.

- Yeah? What's my new thesis?
- That the goal of assimilation

within the LGBTQIA-LMNOP community
in the United States...

has castrated queer culture...
and, in effect, culture at large

by denying humanity's
radical need for diversity.

That's actually pretty good.

- You have a pen and paper?
- You have it on video.

Iowa, really?

That's not very Warhola of you -
going from somewhere to nowhere.

Or maybe I'm destined
to live a boring, normal life.

There has to be some kind
of defiance in that.

Baby steps.

- Can I ask you something?
- Yeah.

- Do you like your eyes?
- Yeah, I do.

You always wear a hat though,
I've noticed.

I don't like to make
eye contact with people.

- Is that why you wear a hat when you dance?
- Mm-hmm.

- 'Cause you don't like to look people
in the eyes? - Mm-hmm.

You don't like feeling, like,
having all those eyes on you?

No. It's intimidating.

I just like to have fun
and do my thing.

So do you pretend
you're alone?

Well, I am alone.
Everybody's alone.

Life imitating art,
imitating life, imitating art.

Yeah.

Walk tall
beneath these trees, boy

You monolith not scarred
by fallout, out

Out, out

The moon,
let it guide you

When Selene comes [...]

New beginnings are really new.

Go sent me a text earlier...
from dirty, crowded Brooklyn.

"Thinking about you, sexy.
Seen any hot guys yet?

Hope you don't have
to resort to farm animals.

If it comes to that, let me know
and I'll be on the first flight out."

I think that I... I'll always
be friends with him.

And I k-I know that people
say that all the time,

and they usually
don't mean it.

But I really believe that.

But... we'll always have Facebook.

Yeah, I'm back on.
I lasted about 23 hours.

So it turns out I knew
what I wanted all along.

I wanted to move home.

I'm not exactly from Iowa,
but... I think it's safe to say

that I wanted to move
back to the country.

Own a farm, drive a combine,
buy a shotgun.

I want to have a family and grow old
sipping lemonade on my front porch.

I think that's how I'll be
a real, radical homosexual.

[...] Until the moon is down

So I guess this is the small town boy
in the city, signing off.

And if you'd like to follow
my journey, click here!

RADICALIZED HOMO IN THE COUNTRY

Hold you in my arms
at night in the dark and I wonder

If you had to leave,
could I let you go? I wonder

Images shake me
right down to the bone like thunder

And if you couldn't see me,
would I walk away and just go?

Go

I wanna feel
alive tonight

I don't want
to take away the light

I'd rather be
the one to glow

Yes, I wanna feel
alive tonight

I don't want to be
the darkness

I would rather be
the one to glow

Do I understand?
Have I learned anything? I wonder

The judges in my mind
don't think I can stay any longer

Images shake me
right down to the bone like thunder

And if you couldn't see me,
would I walk away and just go?

Go

I wanna be
the light tonight

I don't want to be
the darkness

I would rather be
the one to glow

Oh, I wanna be
the light tonight

I don't want to be
the darkness

I would rather be
the one to glow

Oh

Subtitles:
Marlon Rocha Lacerda
@marlonrochalegenda (^^V^^)