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I love this crazy town.

Don't you think we should just self park?

I mean, valet's a rip.

Ah relax, Nelson. We're in Vegas, baby.

Decadence is what it's all about.

Hey, tell me again, why did we need a...

What kind of driver is he? Designated.

Oh, right.

Check out his funnels.

What does that mean?

Uh, it means mcclusky's drunk right now,

I'll be drunk in an hour, and,

uh, you drive about as well as you spell.

In your suite?

Well, I don't know.

Oh, of course I do. I'd love to.

5:00? Heidi, shut up.

That sounds wonderful. I'm practicing.

What? Being a slut? Since when do you need practice?

I'm practicing meeting mister right.

And I'm not a slut.

Olive, am I a slut?

What? What did you say?

Oh, never mind. Just forget it.

Oh, yeah. Ask the nun.

All right, keep your distance, Nelson.

I don't want to be, uh... Associated.

Right.

Doesn't mean we don't love you, dude.

No, no, no. Yes it does.

Hey, ignore him. I'm trying.

Still gonna get you laid, all right?

A deal's a deal.

That's gonna set us back a few grand, huh? At least!

You're not funny.

You always have to open your big mouth.

Look out for me!

There's a line.

What did you say?

Nothing. I'm not here. I don't exist.

Whoo-hoo!

Excuse me, beautiful.

Stoli, rocks, double. And, uh...

Drink for the lady in pink.

Thanks. Cristal mimosa.

Oh, top shelf.

If you can't afford it, I can get it myself.

No. What the lady wants,

the lady gets.

Girls.

Excuse me. Hey, uh, you wanted mustard and relish, right?

Yeah, yeah. Thanks, buddy.

TJ asked for ketchup. Can you believe it?

Who puts ketchup on a hotdog?

Who brought the runt?

Uh, his dad's founding member of our chapter.

Good guy. Writes a mean term paper.

Got me an "a" in poli-sci last semester.

Hey, have you seen my sunscreen?

I think I might have left it in the limo.

I'm--skin's burning. Gift shop.

Uh, who's-- my cousin.

My dad wouldn't pay for the trip unless I brought her.

It's not fair.

Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!

Hilarious.

Thanks. No problem.

I'm sorry, did I get you wet?

It's okay.

Well, bye.

Hey!

I know. Total idiot back there, huh?

I mean, I couldn't even avoid a pack of neanderthals.

Don't be silly.

It's a hard world for thinking people.

I'm Nelson. Dumb name.

No worse than olive.

No, olive's nice. Olive's cool.

Cool may be stretching it a bit.

No, cool is subjective.

I mean, anybody who thinks they're cool,

is automatically uncool.

Good theory.

No way.

Who is--

ugh. Whoa, whoa, dude.

Watch the brew. Whatever.

I'm TJ. Hi.

Charmed.

So you from around these parts?

Las Vegas? No.

That's right!

We're in Vegas.

Whoa, excuse me.

Um, college, you know. We're sorority sisters.

Gross. Who brought that one?

How many of you guys are adults?

Uh, let me see.

Uh, ah, Johnson! Wave!

Yeah.

Ooh, he's with Heidi.

He's in trouble.

Beer.

Right away.

So I downloaded this new app,

and all I do is type in that I'm a summer

and my hair is true blond,

and I tell it what kind of base I'm using,

and what brand eye-liner,

and it tells me what shade of blush to put on.

So I'm not only being artistic,

I'm being economical.

You want to make out?

So what's your major?

Um, ancient history.

Geology. Yeah.

With a minor in physics.

You're kidding.

No.

Could I buy you a drink?

Cristal mimosa.

I don't even know what that is.

You're really funny.

Intense pain often yields great wit.

At least that's what my mom says.

Can I meet your mom?

Look at this.

Jeweled sword of thutmose the third.

Ancient heliopolis Egypt, 1425 b.C.

Wow. Pretty cool.

Kind of uncool it winding up here.

This thing should be in a museum.

True. But the Egyptians were pretty wild.

"Recently unearthed in the nile delta region.

"According to the legend, only the true hero

"may wield the sword of thutmose the third.

"Imposters and thieves will only bring death to themselves

and those around them."

And he who desecrates the ground with the sword

will unleash power unlike the world has ever seen.

I studied it.

I got some power you can unleash.

Don't you, like, ever stop studying?

Don't you, like, ever want to learn something?

So wait. You take the sword, stab the earth,

ghosts and stuff come out?

According to the legend.

Boring.

And a bunch of crap. Yeah, like you would know.

No, no, dude. This could be like the lost ark

that dude was looking for.

Oh, Henry Ford?

Harrison Ford.

You know, guys, we can't prove this sword's not powerful.

Look, if I can get my hands on it, teej, I would.

"Whomever holds the sword can move mountains."

What do you think that means?

TJ, go puke.

What? Go puke, dude.

Yo, what are you talking about?

Go puke, bro. Man. Come on.

Come on, go! Go puke.

Oh, excuse me, officer.

My friend is having a serious issue.

He could really use a medic right now.

Now here's the title song off my fifth album,

lady baby.

Well, thank you.

And you can buy it in the casino gift shop.

And, of course, a percentage of the profits always goes

to my favorite charity, gin.

Las Vegas is a lady thank you.

A glamorous, amorous lady

bewitching yet tender

the dominant gender

the reason that men tow the line whoo!

Las Vegas is a lady

a delicate, elegant lady

an empress, a goddess

the tilt of whose bodice

is shapely and simply divine she seems shy

yeah, well, we were doing this study on

bovine spongiform encephalitis, and I was like, dude,

that would--hate to have that. That would be so bad.

Right.

Las Vegas is a lady

a delicate, elegant lady

what a cool dude.

Indeed.

Shapely and simply divine

she seems shy

that's just a disguise

but when it comes to shy

so this has been a pretty eventful spring break already.

I'd say so.

I must look like a radish. I lost my sun-screen.

No, i--

I think you look amazing.

Thanks.

The reason that men tow the line

Las Vegas is my lady

a lady who's clever and smart

here's hoping she'll never depart

with one look of rapture she'll capture

so I'm going to go to my room before the harpies get in there.

Wait, wait, uh...

Would you like to have dinner with me tonight?

Dinner?

I mean, I doubt you want to go with them.

No, no that would be horrible.

All right, uh,

what do you say Eiffel Tower, 9:00?

Oui.

That's-- I'll meet you there.

Hey, uh--hey, I, uh...

I, uh--i just want to say, uh...

I'll tell you tonight.

La-la Las Vegas

is a lady

and eye-popping heart-stopping lady

with one look of rapture

she'll capture

your heart!

Your heart

ah she got mine whoo!

Thank you. Thank you very much.

But kind of, right?

It would be, like, such a good time though.

Well, hello, ladies.

Wait up! Wait up!

All right, you jerkoffs ready to unleash some real power?

No.

Aah!

Um...

Wow. That was amazing.

What do we do now?

Uh, gamble?

Sure. Yeah?

I knew you had one good idea in you.

Blackjack.

Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa.

What?

What do we do about the sword?

Just, uh, leave it here. They'll find it.

Steer clear from that dumbass security guard,

and we should be good, right?

Yeah. Hell no. I'm taking it.

What do you mean, you're taking it?

Are you serious? Yeah. I am.

Ugh.

Stop acting and pull it out. We gotta go.

You want to try this?

It's--step up, big boy. Come on.

Hey, you want to try this?

That's what I thought.

Oh, yeah. Who's the funny guy now?

Ugh.

All right, move, sticks. Come on.

Come on. Seriously? All right, jokes on me.

Look, no offense guys, but if I can't do it,

I really doubt you guys can so...

Yeah.

Sorry. No, that's fine.

Screw it. Let's blow. I need a drink.

Hey, sorry. Yeah.

Come on! Let's go!

Aah!

Hey, mom.

Ah, the king has arrived!

Whoo!

Bearing gifts.

Where are my presents?

Yes, I'm having a good time.

Better than I expected actually.

Well, I met someone.

You don't have to sound so surprised, mom.

No, don't tell dad just yet.

Hi, dad.

Yes, he's-- he's really nice.

His name's Nelson.

Who!

Oh! Time's up!

Three is better than two every time.

Aw, man.

Get out, get out, get out!

Let's go, let's go!

I love you guys.

Yes, don't worry. He's really nice.

Actually, he said he wanted to meet you.

Okay. Bye.

Ragers.

Excuse me. Do you guys sell sun-screen?

Thank you.

It's always a difficult decision.

You shoot too high, you may never tan.

It's uh--it's not for me. It's for a girl.

Ah. Oh, yeah.

That girl I saw you with at my show earlier.

That was a lovely number. Yeah, yeah.

You know, if you don't mind me saying so,

that's not a very romantic gift.

Oh, it's--it's not really...

What would you recommend I get her?

Flowers. Always nice.

Gardenias.

Orchids with a little bit of queen Anne's lace around it.

They just...

Let you walk around here with a Martini in your hand?

Hey, kid, this is Vegas.

You can walk around with anything in your hand.

Oh, man.

So are you a gambler?

Oh, I don't--i don't really know how to play.

Really?

Then stick with me, kid.

I've been working this town for 35 years.

What's your name? Nelson.

Nelson.

You related to Ricky?

I don't--i don't know Ricky.

Down, hands up, here we go.

Traveling man? No?

Garden party? Ah, how old are you?

That's why they call it craps, buddy.

That's exactly what I'm going to do

if she rolls another seven. I just lost 40 bucks.

I've lost thousands at this table over the years. Right, James?

Sally from the alley, that's my guy.

All right. Bets down.

But I am feeling lucky

just merely being in the company of this beautiful young peach.

Sal rowinksi, accent on the "win."

Whoa, easy there, old dude. She's with me.

And a fine choice she's made, young dude.

A fine choice. Are you in school?

Yeah. What grade are you in?

All right!

Oh!

Don't forget them hard ways, folks.

Shirley MacLaine at the age of 25,

that's who you remind me of.

She could really roll a pair of dice.

Frank and dino swore that she had, like, magic fingers.

Oh, yeah. Wait, frank and who?

Tell you what, you take these dice here,

and you roll them again, and you show this old dude

what you're really made of.

All right, here we go.

Same shooter coming back up. This girl is on fire.

Bets down.

That was a bad bet, wasn't it?

She's yours, man.

Get inside!

Come on, let's go!

Run!

What was that?

I got you.

You okay? What is that?

Listen. The hell was that?

Sounds like hail.

Aah!

What?

Come on, this way!

Olive? Olive!

Olive! Olive!

Olive! Olive! Nelson!

Olive, come on! Hurry!

Come on, get back in here. Come on, kid.

No! No.

Olive!

What?

Olive?

Hello? Olive! Oh, thank god. Where are you?

Isn't that, like, three blocks away?

Are you all right?

Good, just stay there. I'm coming to get you.

Olive, are you-- hello?

Olive, can you hear me?

Damn it! What's going on, buddy?

It's olive. She was heading

to the Eiffel Tower to meet me for dinner.

She took cover in the cactus cave.

I've got to rescue her.

Well, the cactus cave, it's--yeah,

it's not too far from here. Nelson.

Hey, you see what's going on outside?

We gotta go. This is insane.

You don't think it was-- dude, shut the hell up.

It's bull crap, okay?

Whatever it is, we've got to get

to the cactus cave and rescue olive.

What's she doing there anyway? Who cares?

Dude, look, you just met this girl,

what the hell makes her so special?

Oren.

What the hell is this about?

She's the one.

What are you talking about, she's the one?

She's the one. I'm telling you, man. I feel it.

Okay, you--you are not doing this to me right now.

Please, you're my-- you're my only friend. Help me.

All right, you guys, we've got to go get olive.

Uh, we'll take care of the rest when we get there. Let's go.

Wait, dude.

We--we cannot go outside.

You know there's other ways to the cave.

This whole town is connected with an underground network.

Like Disneyland. I got arrested there once.

Congratulations.

Now, service tunnels, they run the whole length of the town.

I know them like the back of my hand.

Wait, wait, what? Service network?

Yeah, Shirley, sometimes you've got to make

a quick getaway. Come on, guys. Follow me.

Ladies and gentlemen, everyone is advised to stay put.

It's just a little wind. You're perfectly safe here.

Bill. Sal.

Have you looked outside? Go back to your piano.

This is the hotel Isis. It's as solid as a rock.

Stay calm. Keep gambling.

Guys, guys, the old man's right, okay?

It's just a little bit of wind, and it's gonna die down,

and I need to win back my money.

Don't be an idiot. This is serious, man.

I know it's serious, but, I mean,

I'm serious about getting my coin back, all right?

Heidi, baby, you want to come with me?

Win some money back? Uh-uh, I'm leaving.

Suit yourselves, suckers.

Johnny--dude. I'm gone.

Hey, wait. I'm with you. Man.

I like your spirit, kid. Yes, let's go.

Come on. It's spring break.

Come on, we're losing time. Let's go.

Yeah, come on, let's go this way over here.

Follow me!

This is flight 119.

We're going down. We're going down.

Kid, you got style. You've got moxie.

You know it, bro.

Joey, 20 bucks in chips for him, on the house.

Hey, thank you, man. Jimmy, take care of him.

And we've got a new shooter coming up.

Don't run away, folks. He looks like a good one.

Bets down, here we go.

This must be my lucky day.

Come on, guys. Come on.

Hurry!

Mayday, mayday.

Oh!

What the hell was that?

We can't stay here.

What about the people up there?

Aah!

It's red hot!

Fire? I don't believe this.

If there's a fire, those people are dead.

Oh, my god. Oh, my god.

I think we gotta go. What about Johnny?

Johnny placed his bet. Come on, guys. Let's go.

This way. Come on! Follow me!

Hurry! Hurry!

Oh. Oh, no.

Hello?

Hello? Nelson?

Help!

Nelson! Hello?

Tommy? Tommy, are you here?

Who--who are you looking for?

Oh, my friends missing.

I've been looking all over for him.

What does he look like? Elvis.

Oh, uh, Elvis '68. Comeback special.

Yes, uh, tall, gold sunglasses?

That's him, that's him!

He left the building.

Ah, thanks.

There you go.

Good luck!

Tommy! Tommy! Tom--

Tommy! Tommy?

Tommy!

Tommy.

Tommy, man. Man.

Oh, Tommy.

Watch out!

Aah!

I've studied sandstorms in arid and semi-arid regions,

I've never heard of a storm this powerful before.

Eh, I dropped out of seventh grade.

Maybe it was that tit-mouse guy.

It's thutmose. Whatever.

Maybe this is the power it unleashed.

What are you talking about?

Uh, just that lousy sword, man. Don't worry about it.

The sword of thutmose the third?

Yeah, we, uh...

Kind of borrowed it. It's, uh, it's no big deal.

You took the sword? Where is it?

We stuck it in the ground out by the pool area.

Why would you do that?

We were just having some fun.

Okay? It said something about a legend--

yeah, Johnny didn't believe it

so we decided to test it. Who cares?

I can't believe this.

Bad move?

Well, I'd say so.

We gotta go back and get it.

Back up there?

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Take a breath, now.

But it could be the key to everything.

If we don't find the source of this,

it won't even matter if we get to the cactus cave or not.

None of us will stand a chance.

I want to go home.

We'll get you home, Shirley.

You know, there's this service tunnel.

It leads directly out to the pool gardens.

Come on, everybody. Follow me.

Now, it should be somewhere around here.

Come on, let's do this. TJ.

Wait, wait, wait!

Maybe I should hang back. Protect the ladies.

Protect this.

Yeah, you're the douchus who caused this whole thing.

That's very very rude.

Bro, you have to carry your own weight. Can we go?

I'm just trying to be honorable, man.

How about I be honorable with the ladies, you go.

Oh, watch out for bogeys!

Where is it?

It's over this way.

Oh, there's probably something I should have mentioned.

What? It's, uh...

Kind of...

Stuck!

It can't be. Why?

The legend says, once the sword is stuck in the ground--

bro, are you kidding me?

Do you really believe this legend crap?

I don't know, man, it's all starting to make sense.

Guys, please!

Get inside! I want to go home!

Get inside!

Aah!

Heidi!

What?

We gotta get back inside!

Come on, let's go! Hurry!

Get in, come on!

Let's go inside. Go!

Come on, get in! Get in!

Go! Go! Go! Go!

I can't believe this. I can't believe this.

I can't believe this. I can't believe this.

I can't believe this. This can't be. I'm so scared.

There's nothing we could do.

You could have left that stupid freakin' sword alone

in the first place.

You did this.

What are we going to do?

Look, right now the sword's a bust.

So it's on to olive.

If we're going to get wiped out,

I want to get wiped out with her.

I'm so happy you want to be with your true love,

but I could really care less.

Harsh.

We've got to get away from all this glass.

And go where?

No, no, Nelson's right.

You know it's possible that we could find our way

all the way to the outskirts of town underground.

I know a few moves.

Cactus caves are on the way.

There's no reason why we can't find olive,

and then just get way the hell out of here, huh?

That is a plan.

I say we do this.

Come on.

Aah!

You want a piece of me?

Come on!

I'm glad you have your freedom.

This way. Uh, yeah.

How come you know so much about these underground passages?

Well, I did a little messenger work for meyer lansky

when I was a kid.

Nothing sinister, mind you, but he taught me a few things

about working in the shadows.

The shadows?

Yeah, you know, getting around the normal channels,

making moves in the dark.

Yeah, Ben Siegel, bugsy to most,

of course, he'd split your skull if he heard you say that.

Now, he did all of his, um, crowing right out in the open.

Just the opposite. He didn't--

for everybody to see.

Of course, he ended up with a bullet through his eye.

Whoa.

You really think this old dude knows what he's doing?

My grandpa's his age,

we don't even let him go to the bathroom by himself.

Yeah, just have a little faith, man.

Yeah, I'm trying, bro, but I really need a beer.

That's disgusting.

Our friend is dead and all you can think of is beer?

I was going to toast in her memory.

You're a pig.

Sal, where are you taking us?

Through here. We got a little breathing room.

No way.

Here it is.

Is that the...

Stratosphere.

Damn, man.

I really wanted to hit up that screaming ride.

You're on a more exciting ride now, kid.

Who's fighting this weekend?

Granada and Ortiz.

But I'll bet you the fight's been called.

Guys, we need to go the other direction.

We need to go the other direction.

Who are you?

I'm one of those people who was stupid enough to follow you.

So what do you suggest?

That way. West in the service tunnel.

That way leads to the street.

Yeah, and transportation.

Which is the only way any of us are getting to the other side of this town.

You're an idiot. Did you not just hear him?

That goes outside. That's death out there.

Anybody wants to follow me, come on.

Don't go. It's not safe out there.

Whatever. Let him go.

Listen, kid. You're smart and all, okay,

but I see what's going on.

Please, ma'am.

We've got to do something.

Yeah, I know. I'll just follow you wherever you--

You guys are making the right decision. Trust me.

To safety.

Go! Go! Move!

Come on!

Close the door.

Go up the stairs.

Faster!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait! Wait.

Slow down.

We're safe. I did it.

We're at the cactus cave.

Olive.

Olive!

Olive!

Have you seen a young girl, brown hair, about this tall?

No, no, I haven't-- named olive. Please.

Olive, please come! Olive!

I don't see her. What are we going to do?

Just take it easy, man. We'll find her.

Yeah, chill. We're gonna spread out.

Olive!

We'll spread out. We'll be okay. Whoa!

Olive!

Help! This guy's alive.

What?

Don't move.

Oh, no, ladies please stay back.

Like anything's going to freak me out now.

We--we gotta help this guy. He looks bad.

I saw this in the war. That guy's a goner. Come on.

No, no--well, we can't leave him here.

Just get out of here. Hurry.

The storm won't last forever.

No. It's alive.

It's alive.

What is?

The sn--snake.

Come on, let's go.

He said snake.

Ah, he was delirious.

Hey, let's go.

Serena, we should probably keep looking. She is my cousin.

Yeah.

Olive!

Olive!

Olive! Olive?

Olive?

Yeah, olive. Come out, come out, wherever you are.

Oh, my god.

No!

Wait, oh, my god! Let's go! Come on! Jesus.

Oh, hey. In here.

Ha!

Ah, off track betting.

Safest place.

Wired like the Pentagon.

Sal, are we all going to die?

Wouldn't be my choice, kid.

But what do we do? How do we beat this thing?

Beat it. Trick is surviving this bitch.

Nelson.

Olive?

Oh, my god. Olive.

Oh, my god.

Nelson? Are you all right?

I don't know. Don't move. Just sit still.

Guys, help me! Olive.

TJ, come on, give me a hand.

Yeah.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Careful. Be careful.

Don't move. Just give us a minute.

We'll get you out, okay? Uh-huh.

What happened?

You mean, after Elvis and I took on a man-eating tiger?

Tiger?

What happened to Elvis?

He died. Oh, no, not again.

Just trying to lighten the mood a little bit.

Don't, don't move. Just--we're almost out.

You're almost there.

I thought I lost you.

Me too.

What's going on?

Where's Heidi and Serena?

There was nothing we could do.

I'm so sorry.

I told olive what we saw.

We both agree.

It has to be the thutmose legend.

She studied all about it in school. Tell them.

It's how the pharaoh won his battles.

He unleashed the power with his sword,

crippling the ancient cities,

and then his armies could go in and conquer them.

Ooh, that dude did not like losing.

So what can we do?

Well, king thutmose the third expanded the Egyptian empire

from north Syria all the way

to the fourth waterfall of the nile.

The cities he conquered had to surrender

by offering thutmose three things.

Their largest piece of gold, their most sacred urn,

and their deadliest creature.

Oh, I see. Well, that's not a problem.

I think I have them all right here in my pocket.

This is serious.

You don't think I know that, Nelson?

I'm sorry.

It's cool,

but there's something out there that is not of our world.

And we need to defeat it.

Olive can help us formulate a plan.

Unless someone has a better idea.

Ah, it gives us a fighting chance.

If the legend is real, then we need to do

exactly what thutmose's conquered cities did.

Surrender.

Surrender? Delta's don't surrender.

That means finding the three items

and offering them up to the pharaoh.

Let's start with the gold.

The largest piece of gold, now that's an easy one.

That's the hand of faith. It's from Australia.

It's on display at the golden nugget.

That's a done deal.

So we're talking about

running up and down the Las Vegas strip

to find a peace offering for some lame pharaoh

who died, like, thousands of years ago?

Yeah.

Well, okay then. Let's go.

Come on, hurry. We need to find a car. Come on!

Wait, wait. Over here, over here.

We have to find something durable.

Eh. Ah.

There, that's it. Come on.

- This will work. - Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

We have to make a run for it.

Come on! Go, go, go, get in!

Boys, you go. Get in, get in.

Go, go, get in!

Nelson, go!

Hold on.

How do we get to the golden nugget?

Head downtown, fremont street.

The old part of town.

If we get the gold, then next is the most sacred urn.

I'm thinking maybe Caesar's palace.

No, the real urn, the one that's rumored

to have held Caesar's ashes, it's in the warehouse.

How do you know-- ah, forget it.

What I want to know is what--

what about this deadliest creature?

Yeah. What are we thinking that is?

Nelson! Watch out!

Watch out! Aah!

Go over there. Over to the right.

This way.

Hey, for the record,

with all this craziness going on,

the first thing on my mind is you.

Me too.

I don't ever want to lose you again.

Oh, there's one thing I didn't mention.

What?

The dark messenger.

Dark messenger?

Legend says thutmose

always sent some sort of messenger in advance

to warn of his power and might.

Anything else?

I'm just saying.

Come on, come on, come on.

The hand of faith has been relocated to the 24th floor,

the presidential suite.

Presidential suite? Don't you need a special key?

This place is untouched.

Our room blows compared to this.

Ah, there it is.

The hotel blew way over a million bucks on this rock.

How do we get it out of here?

That won't be easy.

Says you.

What are you doing?

I got it.

Hey, what are you doing?

You should stand back. Really?

Yeah.

You sure about-- aah!

Oops.

Well, I guess we don't have to worry about

carrying a 70 pound chunk of gold around.

But this doesn't screw up everything?

Yeah, it does.

Way to go, jackass!

I'm done.

No!

Hey. I can't do this anymore.

Hey.

Amber.

Hey, I know...

I know, just, uh...

Come back inside.

No, I can't.

Just hold me. Please.

Just hold me.

Please, just hold me.

Hey. I got you.

I got you.

It's still the biggest piece of gold in the city.

It's just a little smaller than it was.

It's still a good 20 pounds, at least.

Well, that could be enough.

Let's hope so.

Come on, you did great. Don't worry about it.

I got you.

Let's just go back inside.

TJ, hold this for me.

We gotta get out of here. Come on. Run!

Aah! No!

Hurry!

Where's oren and Amber?

Oren! Oren, come in!

Nelson, we're blocked in. We can't get out.

No, we're not leaving without you, come on.

Amber! Guys, come, please!

Come back. Come on.

Please! No, there's no time!

Please, come in! Oren!

Please, just get out of here.

Guys, please.

No! I'm sorry, man.

Please, no.

Oh, my god.

Come on. Oren!

Let's go. Oren, no, no.

We ran and we let him die.

Well, if we had stayed, we'd all be dead. Go!

Nelson, I'm so sorry.

We're running out of time.

We need to get to Caesar's, it's up the road.

Oh, sh--

Ah, it's really bad around here.

Look out!

Whoa, that's playing the long-shot, kid.

Caesar's! There!

Ah, the warehouse connects to their underground service entrance.

Go where--where the trucks come in.

Hang on. Hang on!

Yeah, here.

What's that smell? Ah, the trash compactor.

Or hey, why don't we all just jump in, get it over with.

Come on, dude. Come on, yourself.

Oren's dead. Serena, Amber, they're all dead.

But we're not.

Why did they put the urn in here?

Last year alone there were three attempts to steal it.

They had to take it off display.

There it is on the pedestal.

Wow.

Move!

Well done.

Okay, um, so now we just

have to find the deadliest creature.

Okay, what the hell is that?

I'm not sure. Who the hell is?

Easy, hombre. Easy.

I don't know,

but maybe it's that tiger that chased after you.

I mean, it's a killer, but i-- I managed to scare it off.

Pretty stupid answer then.

Hey!

You want to talk about stupid?

Stupid is you stealing that sword in the first place.

You think you're so smart? You keep getting us all killed!

You think I like being the smart guy all the time?

How many ideas have you come up with?

You think I like seeing people die

because they're following my damn plan?

Screw it.

We have no idea what the deadliest creature is.

And I'm gonna put this thing where it belongs.

What? Don't do that.

TJ, what are you doing?

TJ, stop. TJ!

Bye-bye, baby.

TJ, don't! Stop!

Don't, don't, don't. Ow!

Oh, my god!

Aah!

Oh, no.

The deadliest creature!

Aah!

Stay away!

Go outside.

Go! Come on.

Come on, kids, focus.

Let's get back to the Isis and put all this stuff together.

Go!

Hey!

Hold on!

Hey.

We must be on the right track.

The closer we get, the closer the storm moves.

Come on, there's the sword.

So what do we do now?

We make the offering.

Let's do it all together.

All right. One...

Two, three.

What, do we say something, or--?

I don't know.

We have to release the deadliest creature.

Come on, hurry!

Here, I got it. Back off. Careful!

Far out.

Here goes nothing.

Come on, triple blue sevens, kid.

Come on!

Come on.

Come on.

Whoo!

You got the magic touch!

Yeah! Whoo! You did it!

You got it.

We did it! We did it!

You got the magic touch, kid.

Oh, you did it.

Ooh, we did it.

And here comes the cavalry.

Ha!

I can't believe it.

I mean, I had to believe it just so that we could

get through this, but now that it's happening,

I can't--i can't believe it.

I know it all feels like a bad dream,

but now it's over.

Whoo!

Are you okay?

I don't understand.

We did everything we were supposed to.

Sometimes there's a joker in the deck, sweetie.

No.

Hey, don't look at me like that, kids.

You've got to keep a poker face.

You're making me think something's wrong here.

It--it didn't work.

How didn't it work?

Nelson.

How you doing there, pal?

Well...

I feel like a roulette wheel.

Place your bets.

Seems like you never stop saving us.

Thank you for being our hero.

Ah, don't be silly, sweetie.

There's your hero.

You landed the good one.

Right smack here

in the middle of this crazy town.

I only wish that I had been so lucky.

Hero?

I'm no hero.

I tried to be.

I gambled and lost.

I'm so sorry.

Only the true hero may wield the sword.

That's what the legend says.

Screw the legend.

We followed the legend. The legend lied.

You freed the sword, so that part's true.

We're just--

we're just missing the final piece of the puzzle.

Only by touching the heavens

will the bearer of the sword restore order.

Okay, no problem.

We'll be dead any minute now.

We'll go to heaven and get this all straightened out.

Nobody's dying.

Anymore.

We're gonna touch the heavens.

It's the tallest structure left standing.

If we're gonna do this, that's the way.

Oh, my god. Look at this storm.

It's--it's building. It's swirling around.

I'm having--I'm having trouble holding position.

I say we head back down the strip, past Caesar's.

Paris should be pretty close. I think that's what sal said.

Unless you want to try taking the side streets.

No, they're more choked than the strip.

You guys going somewhere?

Sorry?

I said...Ahem.

You two going somewhere?

Excuse us. Yeah.

You in a rush?

Well, we're trying to see if we can help stop the storm.

Ha. How are you going to do that?

You gonna stab it to death?

Something like that.

You see, the storm isn't like your regular sandstorm.

It's being triggered by forces that can't really be explained.

I mean, I could try to explain it to you,

but you probably--

probably wouldn't understand because I'm too stupid?

No, it's--it's just you wouldn't believe...

It's--it's unbelievable is what she means.

I didn't believe it myself at first.

I believe you two are a couple of rich college kids

who think you can do anything you like.

You're wrong, mister.

I also believe one big fundamental truth.

What's that?

Some folks is lucky,

some ain't.

Oh, I wouldn't be doing that.

Hand me the keys.

At this range,

these bullets...

Take your head right off.

Then plow right on into misses.

Convenient.

Messy.

All right, just...

Just take it easy.

Now get out of the car.

Nelson.

He can't help you.

Only I can help you.

Now get out of the car

before I pop you both.

Hurry up, now.

I'm not a patient man.

Now!

Come on over to me, girl.

Closer.

Closer.

I ain't gonna bite.

Ow!

Not yet anyway.

Hey!

No heroics, boy, please.

It ain't in your character.

How's about you hand over that knife.

Huh?

Nice.

This was on display inside, wasn't it?

Huh?

Hwah! Hiya! Hiya! Hiya!

We should have teamed up long ago.

You guys ain't nothing more than petty thieves.

I had myself a good crew not long ago.

Come on.

Come on, little doggy. Wait.

Now, now. Don't make this any harder than it is.

You just stand there and be still.

All right? Me and your missus got some philosophizing to discuss.

Stop! You die, then she dies.

You take one more step, that's how this is all gonna turn out.

You're just gonna kill us anyways.

Maybe. You never know.

Like I said, some folks is lucky,

some ain't. Aah!

Nelson!

You bitch!

Lucky is exactly what you two ain't.

Huh. Not today.

Not today.

Uh-uh.

Today...

Is the day you two die.

Today is the day

you two die.

So when the world's coming to an end,

there ain't no more rules.

Only the ones the strong make up.

Wouldn't you agree?

Aah!

It's okay, I've got you.

Did he hurt you?

We have to get to the tower.

Let's go.

We don't even know what we're dealing with,

yet we're driving right to it.

Do we have a choice?

I don't know.

No.

We don't.

No? Seriously.

What do we do when we get up there?

The legend says we've got to

touch the heavens to restore order.

That's a little abstract.

There it is.

Mordor looks like a cakewalk compared to this.

Frodo got it done, Nelson.

Frodo was also permanently traumatized

and eventually sailed off alone to die.

Welcome to the ride of a lifetime.

You've got to be kidding me.

...welcomes you with open arms.

...and of course, romance.

Watch stopped.

I don't even know what time it is.

I don't think it really matters. Does it?

Yeah, it does. I have reservations and everything.

For our date? Yeah, i--i...

Even pulled an extra 20 out of the ATM in case I had to tip the guy.

Oh, I like that.

We are now seconds from the famed observation deck.

Where mind-boggling views

will sweep you into a mysterious and magical world--

can't stand alliteration.

Agreed.

Damn, those suckers are big.

Look! It sees us!

Nelson!

Nelson!

Nelson!

Aah!

Nelson!

Olive!

Hang on! Come on.

Help!

I've got you.

Don't look down.

Oh.

Come up, come on!

Are you all right? I think so. Aah!

It's right on top of us!

The sword. Where's the sword?

Oh.

The sword. Get the sword.

Ugh.

Nelson!

Do it!

Aah!

Oh, my god.

We did it.

Are you all right?

Are you? Mm-hmm.

You said you were going to tell me something.

Earlier, remember? Huh?

Before I went up to get changed.

Oh, right.

Wow.

You're a really good kisser.

Really?

Have you had much practice? No, none.

Good.

But i--i thought about kissing you all day.

What I really wanted to tell you is...

Finding you,

I'm the luckiest guy in the world.

That's the nicest thing anybody has ever said to me.

Oh, i--

I have...

I got you something.

What is it?

Well, sal had suggested that I get you

something more romantic, and I was totally

gonna get you flowers, but then the whole

world started ending and i--

a minute ago I thought I loved you.

But now I know I do.

Want to know something?

I love this crazy town.

It's a house

warming party

with cold cold rooms

and I wander

I wander the hallways

looking for my shoes

I remember your tongue

in my mouth

so I could not speak the truth

although the words

wanted out

my tongue was tied to you

whoa

we're going down

with my mouth on your neck

and our heads

in the clouds

sugar, sugar, sugar