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1
00:00:04,120 --> 00:00:07,360
Didn't you realize that there is nothing
healthy to eat at the student union? I
2
00:00:07,360 --> 00:00:09,240
had to go off campus to get this protein
smoothie.
3
00:00:09,840 --> 00:00:13,080
Only protein I want is in a quarter
pounder with extra cheese.
4
00:00:14,240 --> 00:00:16,219
No, T, it's really good. You should try
it.
5
00:00:20,040 --> 00:00:21,040
Hmm.
6
00:00:21,220 --> 00:00:22,460
And the smoothie's kind of smooth.
7
00:00:23,120 --> 00:00:24,420
They should serve smoothies here.
8
00:00:25,740 --> 00:00:28,320
Yo, hey, why don't we open up a smoothie
bar?
9
00:00:28,700 --> 00:00:29,920
That's a great idea. Yeah.
10
00:00:30,500 --> 00:00:31,600
Let me try that.
11
00:00:36,460 --> 00:00:37,460
Need butter.
12
00:01:20,140 --> 00:01:22,940
Yo, we want to set up our own smoothie
bar. There's nothing healthy up in here.
13
00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:25,260
What are you talking about? Last week I
served zucchini.
14
00:01:26,680 --> 00:01:29,540
Yeah, but Woody, it was fried with a
mayonnaise dipping sauce.
15
00:01:30,200 --> 00:01:31,200
Pretty good, wasn't it?
16
00:01:32,420 --> 00:01:34,040
Come on, Wood. We can make a grip.
17
00:01:35,100 --> 00:01:36,920
You know, you might be on to something.
18
00:01:37,420 --> 00:01:39,860
I'll tell you what. You're in business
as long as I get a cut.
19
00:01:40,060 --> 00:01:40,878
Hey, cool.
20
00:01:40,880 --> 00:01:43,320
We're going to need a blender, some ice,
and a rolling cart.
21
00:01:43,540 --> 00:01:44,860
And my cut just got bigger.
22
00:01:49,520 --> 00:01:50,018
you guys.
23
00:01:50,020 --> 00:01:52,280
Hey, uh, Kim, is your mother around?
24
00:01:52,480 --> 00:01:53,560
No, she's at the mall.
25
00:01:53,900 --> 00:01:55,700
Perfect. I can tell you my good news.
26
00:01:56,280 --> 00:01:57,940
I'm gonna be on the Mac show.
27
00:01:59,040 --> 00:02:00,480
You gonna be on Bernie Mac?
28
00:02:01,660 --> 00:02:03,480
No, not that show. The Mac.
29
00:02:03,780 --> 00:02:08,580
You know, it's the show where a lucky
player gets to chill on a date with four
30
00:02:08,580 --> 00:02:09,740
fine honeys.
31
00:02:11,860 --> 00:02:14,780
Michael on a date with four other women?
Oh, hell no.
32
00:02:17,380 --> 00:02:18,380
Maybe he's right.
33
00:02:18,470 --> 00:02:19,470
It should have been me.
34
00:02:20,550 --> 00:02:22,990
Oh, I get it. It's a dating show for old
people.
35
00:02:24,350 --> 00:02:25,990
It's not for old people.
36
00:02:26,370 --> 00:02:30,370
It's for single, attractive men, you
know, with pimp juice.
37
00:02:32,590 --> 00:02:34,070
More like prune juice.
38
00:02:36,450 --> 00:02:38,330
Sorry, boo, but I can't allow that.
39
00:02:38,730 --> 00:02:40,750
Oh, it's a done deal.
40
00:02:41,030 --> 00:02:45,470
They've got me and the ladies all lined
up, and there's nothing you can do about
41
00:02:45,470 --> 00:02:46,470
it.
42
00:02:48,650 --> 00:02:52,170
Professor, don't you think those type of
shows are a little low -brow,
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00:02:52,170 --> 00:02:53,770
sophomoric beneath you?
44
00:02:54,230 --> 00:02:57,370
Did I mention there's a hot tub?
45
00:03:19,850 --> 00:03:20,709
What's up, Stevie?
46
00:03:20,710 --> 00:03:21,710
How must we make?
47
00:03:22,190 --> 00:03:25,610
Zilch. It's probably the scary hat. What
the hell was Kim thinking when she made
48
00:03:25,610 --> 00:03:26,610
these?
49
00:03:27,570 --> 00:03:29,570
Kim, we're the fools wearing them.
50
00:03:32,410 --> 00:03:33,410
Uh, Kim?
51
00:03:33,570 --> 00:03:34,830
What are you doing?
52
00:03:35,650 --> 00:03:37,370
Drinking a frappuccino. You want some?
53
00:03:39,690 --> 00:03:43,030
No, Kim, I don't want some. You're
supposed to be drinking a smoothie.
54
00:03:47,400 --> 00:03:49,600
Look, y 'all, we need a new angle to
step up our game.
55
00:03:49,860 --> 00:03:51,600
Yeah, well, a new taste might do it.
56
00:03:51,840 --> 00:03:53,020
Yeah. How about pizza?
57
00:03:53,920 --> 00:03:55,140
For a smoothie?
58
00:03:55,640 --> 00:03:57,120
No, for lunch. I'm hungry.
59
00:03:58,100 --> 00:04:03,300
I still can't believe the professor's
gonna be on the Mac.
60
00:04:03,700 --> 00:04:05,240
This show must be on his way out.
61
00:04:08,720 --> 00:04:09,780
Shut up, Ann Dow.
62
00:04:10,860 --> 00:04:14,240
Now, my poop is sexy, and those women
are gonna think so, too.
63
00:04:16,880 --> 00:04:19,860
Nothing you can do about it. You just
have to watch him on TV like everyone
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00:04:19,860 --> 00:04:20,860
else.
65
00:04:21,800 --> 00:04:22,800
I don't think so.
66
00:04:23,040 --> 00:04:25,060
I just can't watch my boo hook up with
some hood rat.
67
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:28,120
Hey, where you going?
68
00:04:28,440 --> 00:04:31,840
Down to the studio. I have to find out
where this date is going to be. Nikki,
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00:04:31,900 --> 00:04:35,140
don't. How many years is it going to
take you to realize that man don't want
70
00:04:35,140 --> 00:04:36,140
you?
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00:04:50,250 --> 00:04:54,190
blend of wheat germ, spirulina, and
brewer's yeast. Sure to get your wheels
72
00:04:54,190 --> 00:04:56,570
turning. And your stomach, too. Ew.
73
00:04:58,470 --> 00:04:59,590
T, go ahead. Try some.
74
00:04:59,810 --> 00:05:00,890
Nah, that's all right.
75
00:05:01,370 --> 00:05:02,370
You try.
76
00:05:02,550 --> 00:05:03,670
Uh -uh. You try.
77
00:05:05,030 --> 00:05:07,590
Ooh. Okay. Yeah. Maybe we should try
yours first.
78
00:05:13,090 --> 00:05:14,090
Mmm.
79
00:05:14,710 --> 00:05:16,450
Dang, Kim, that's whoa right there.
80
00:05:20,620 --> 00:05:24,300
Just thank my Nana. She's from Jamaica.
It's her recipe. She sends me and Mama
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00:05:24,300 --> 00:05:25,300
gallons of it.
82
00:05:25,340 --> 00:05:26,340
Thank you, Nana.
83
00:05:27,380 --> 00:05:29,440
Yeah, Ma. Rasta love to Nana, huh?
84
00:05:56,490 --> 00:05:57,490
You know her?
85
00:05:57,530 --> 00:05:58,970
Of course he does, boo.
86
00:05:59,190 --> 00:06:02,070
He picked me. I'm the fourth contestant.
87
00:06:05,410 --> 00:06:06,410
Damn!
88
00:06:09,970 --> 00:06:14,590
You can't be a contestant. Oh, yeah, I
can.
89
00:06:14,890 --> 00:06:20,110
Thanks to my winning personality,
flamin' body, and my striking
90
00:06:20,110 --> 00:06:21,110
Halle Berry.
91
00:06:22,630 --> 00:06:25,590
Oh, isn't she great? She's just so...
92
00:06:26,620 --> 00:06:27,620
Fresh.
93
00:06:28,100 --> 00:06:32,000
That's why I bumped our fourth
contestant for her. Who needs a Miss
94
00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:33,500
Tropics? Miss Hawaiian?
95
00:06:34,640 --> 00:06:40,360
You know what? It doesn't matter,
because America chooses the woman, and
96
00:06:40,360 --> 00:06:41,820
never pick you.
97
00:06:42,300 --> 00:06:45,060
All right, places, everyone. We're about
to start the show.
98
00:07:01,160 --> 00:07:02,160
Uncle Crest.
99
00:07:04,520 --> 00:07:09,580
And standing next to me is this week's
Mac, Stanley Ogilvie.
100
00:07:16,060 --> 00:07:18,280
America, you know the rules.
101
00:07:18,520 --> 00:07:23,720
If she's not Mac material, call and vote
her off. Last one remaining will be the
102
00:07:23,720 --> 00:07:26,040
professor's one and only shorty.
103
00:07:27,060 --> 00:07:31,000
That shorty will enjoy a date with...
The Mac.
104
00:07:31,340 --> 00:07:36,540
And will receive one complimentary
appetizer at a restaurant of their
105
00:07:37,460 --> 00:07:40,040
Yes, yes. I know.
106
00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:42,920
Now let's hear from The Mac.
107
00:07:46,740 --> 00:07:52,980
Looking for a woman who's sexy,
employed,
108
00:07:53,180 --> 00:07:57,720
and is as Macalicious as myself.
109
00:08:09,110 --> 00:08:14,150
Jennifer, Sarah, Lola, and Nikki.
110
00:08:14,570 --> 00:08:15,570
Hey, Pooh.
111
00:08:17,590 --> 00:08:18,650
Hi, everybody.
112
00:08:19,030 --> 00:08:23,830
I'm Jennifer, and I am from the
beautiful city of El Segundo.
113
00:08:25,270 --> 00:08:30,310
In my spare time, I love planning
weddings, going to weddings.
114
00:09:03,470 --> 00:09:06,090
Lola wants, Lola gets.
115
00:09:10,990 --> 00:09:11,990
Girl.
116
00:09:13,550 --> 00:09:16,050
Hey, America. I'm Nikki Parker.
117
00:09:16,310 --> 00:09:21,390
Full -time student, single mom, and not
only can I cook in the kitchen, but also
118
00:09:21,390 --> 00:09:22,470
in the bedroom.
119
00:09:22,970 --> 00:09:29,410
And just so y 'all know, these women
don't stand a chance.
120
00:09:30,370 --> 00:09:31,370
Holla.
121
00:09:36,720 --> 00:09:37,920
She means business, folks.
122
00:09:39,520 --> 00:09:41,900
Well, we've met our lovely contestants.
123
00:09:42,160 --> 00:09:45,140
Now let's get ready to play the Mac.
124
00:09:49,940 --> 00:09:50,940
Okay.
125
00:09:51,560 --> 00:09:52,960
So, Sarah,
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00:09:53,780 --> 00:09:57,340
tell me, what is your best asset?
127
00:09:57,660 --> 00:09:59,580
My relationship with the Lord.
128
00:10:02,360 --> 00:10:03,760
You switch with Jennifer.
129
00:10:06,860 --> 00:10:10,680
So, Jennifer, tell me, what is your best
asset?
130
00:10:11,880 --> 00:10:15,460
I can say I do in four languages.
131
00:10:19,180 --> 00:10:20,180
Okay.
132
00:10:20,600 --> 00:10:22,540
Yeah, now you, Miss Parker.
133
00:10:22,920 --> 00:10:25,220
Yes, well, ask me anything.
134
00:10:25,980 --> 00:10:27,460
Could you give me another drink?
135
00:10:34,080 --> 00:10:36,520
Okay, Lola, tell me, what...
136
00:10:36,750 --> 00:10:37,890
What is your best asset?
137
00:10:38,970 --> 00:10:40,110
Actually, I have two.
138
00:10:42,150 --> 00:10:43,490
Meet the girls.
139
00:10:45,770 --> 00:10:48,550
Hello, ladies.
140
00:10:50,450 --> 00:10:53,530
You want to know what my best asset is?
141
00:10:54,230 --> 00:10:56,210
Not if you're going to do that.
142
00:10:57,630 --> 00:10:58,630
Come on, ladies.
143
00:10:59,010 --> 00:11:00,010
Let's go dance.
144
00:11:00,330 --> 00:11:02,810
Let me see who can drop it like it's
hot. Come on.
145
00:11:07,280 --> 00:11:08,920
Let me hear you shake a tail feather.
146
00:11:09,180 --> 00:11:12,820
Oh, my dancing is for heathens. Oh, you
need to loosen up.
147
00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:16,600
We must always be on guard against
Satan.
148
00:11:16,840 --> 00:11:19,100
Oh, I'm sorry. Is he on the show?
149
00:11:21,020 --> 00:11:22,840
Hit it, DJ.
150
00:11:24,560 --> 00:11:25,900
Just follow my lead.
151
00:11:49,770 --> 00:11:51,190
pretty wild out there, folks.
152
00:11:52,050 --> 00:11:55,470
Well, you've had some time with our
ladies, so what do you think?
153
00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:23,760
And it looks like Jenny is no longer on
the block.
154
00:12:24,880 --> 00:12:26,540
Bye -bye, Jennifer.
155
00:12:27,700 --> 00:12:30,280
What? Well, who's going to be my baby
daddy?
156
00:12:31,300 --> 00:12:33,460
Okay, no, no, no. For a daddy, okay?
157
00:12:34,680 --> 00:12:38,240
Check all your friends and relatives
that our smoothies are off the tisane.
158
00:12:38,440 --> 00:12:39,440
All right.
159
00:12:39,620 --> 00:12:42,820
Pam, your grandmother's concoction is
making us so rich.
160
00:12:43,500 --> 00:12:44,520
I'm watching Mama.
161
00:12:45,140 --> 00:12:46,140
Mickey's on TV?
162
00:12:46,460 --> 00:12:47,460
Yeah, she's on the mat.
163
00:12:49,550 --> 00:12:50,550
Look at those women.
164
00:12:50,630 --> 00:12:52,650
Nikki is the only respectable one there.
165
00:12:52,910 --> 00:12:54,310
She does not stand a chance.
166
00:12:55,910 --> 00:12:57,450
Say, I need to speak to you three.
167
00:12:58,610 --> 00:13:00,930
Oh, here for another smoothie, Officer
Taylor?
168
00:13:01,230 --> 00:13:05,210
Uh, no, I've already had two, and after
drinking them, I fell off my bike twice.
169
00:13:05,630 --> 00:13:06,630
You know why?
170
00:13:07,630 --> 00:13:08,630
You clumsy?
171
00:13:10,710 --> 00:13:13,390
No, I was drunk from your smoothies.
Man,
172
00:13:14,530 --> 00:13:17,920
you tripping. Our smoothies are all...
Naturally. Yeah, I'm not so sure about
173
00:13:17,920 --> 00:13:21,440
that. I'm going to take a sample and get
it analyzed. In the meantime, close up
174
00:13:21,440 --> 00:13:22,920
shop and give me the rest of the
smoothies.
175
00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:25,000
Shouldn't one be enough for a sample?
176
00:13:25,260 --> 00:13:26,820
Yeah, but I'm having a big party this
weekend.
177
00:13:29,180 --> 00:13:30,920
And we're back.
178
00:13:31,620 --> 00:13:34,160
We had to say goodbye to Jennifer.
179
00:13:34,820 --> 00:13:37,460
Now let's head to the steamy hot tub.
180
00:13:37,920 --> 00:13:43,220
Let's see what Mac Daddy Stanley thinks
when he sees these honeys in their
181
00:13:43,220 --> 00:13:44,220
bathing suits.
182
00:13:51,760 --> 00:13:54,400
You look, uh, very nice.
183
00:13:55,680 --> 00:13:57,740
You don't think it's covering too much?
184
00:13:57,940 --> 00:13:59,780
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
185
00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:05,620
Uh, Sarah, you look, uh, very hot.
186
00:14:06,680 --> 00:14:07,980
And not in a good way.
187
00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:14,280
My body is, is my temple. And not
something to be ogled ogle thee.
188
00:14:16,680 --> 00:14:18,580
Aren't you gonna say anything about my
baby, too?
189
00:14:22,480 --> 00:14:23,660
Does it come with a coat?
190
00:14:24,920 --> 00:14:25,960
I just hate you.
191
00:14:27,440 --> 00:14:28,440
Hold me, boo.
192
00:14:55,280 --> 00:14:56,360
Caramel Thundercat?
193
00:14:58,680 --> 00:15:05,440
Speaking of caramel, Sarah, if you were
to make me a romantic meal, what would
194
00:15:05,440 --> 00:15:06,279
you cook?
195
00:15:06,280 --> 00:15:09,760
Whatever you'd want, as long as we'd say
grace first.
196
00:15:11,840 --> 00:15:13,640
That's nice.
197
00:15:15,260 --> 00:15:16,800
How about you, Lola?
198
00:15:17,980 --> 00:15:21,040
Well, desserts are more my specialty.
199
00:15:21,840 --> 00:15:26,000
I can do some amazing things with
whipped cream.
200
00:15:26,280 --> 00:15:28,300
When I cook it! Yeah, sorry, I'm full.
201
00:15:30,980 --> 00:15:35,060
Uh, Sarah, um, what would we do on our
first date?
202
00:15:35,360 --> 00:15:38,300
Oh, we'd go to Bible study.
203
00:15:43,080 --> 00:15:45,500
How did you even get on this show?
204
00:15:46,440 --> 00:15:48,120
Oh, my brother's the producer.
205
00:15:48,640 --> 00:15:50,060
God bless you, JB.
206
00:15:52,240 --> 00:15:55,660
Forget them. This is my idea of a fun
date.
207
00:15:57,820 --> 00:15:58,860
Daddy like.
208
00:16:00,100 --> 00:16:01,960
Well, mama don't.
209
00:16:06,280 --> 00:16:08,260
Enjoy that.
210
00:16:13,100 --> 00:16:14,980
It's got the report of what's in your
smoothie.
211
00:16:15,340 --> 00:16:20,180
And? Well, let's see. There's fruit,
honey, yogurt.
212
00:16:20,440 --> 00:16:21,500
See, 100 % natural.
213
00:16:21,850 --> 00:16:24,650
and also 100 -proof rum with some
unidentifiable mushrooms.
214
00:16:26,570 --> 00:16:28,150
Wow, we should charge more.
215
00:16:30,170 --> 00:16:33,050
I'm shutting you down permanently.
You're lucky I'm not arresting you.
216
00:16:33,410 --> 00:16:35,410
You're not going to arrest anyone. It
should be Kim.
217
00:16:35,750 --> 00:16:38,170
She's the one flinging her grandma's
concoction.
218
00:16:39,570 --> 00:16:42,830
I don't get it. I've been drinking this
daily since I was a baby, and there's
219
00:16:42,830 --> 00:16:43,830
nothing wrong with me.
220
00:16:48,530 --> 00:16:49,850
You're right. Shut us down.
221
00:16:52,500 --> 00:16:54,020
America has voted again.
222
00:16:54,480 --> 00:16:58,980
And it looks like we'll be saying
goodbye to... Sarah.
223
00:17:00,380 --> 00:17:01,380
Uh -uh!
224
00:17:01,500 --> 00:17:03,560
America picked these heathens over me?
225
00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:08,300
I'm gonna pray for all of you.
226
00:17:08,599 --> 00:17:10,780
That's right. Get that camera off me.
227
00:17:13,060 --> 00:17:17,160
Looks like Sarah needs to spend more
time in Bible study.
228
00:17:18,780 --> 00:17:19,940
For the final round.
229
00:17:20,349 --> 00:17:22,950
I will be asking each of you the same
question.
230
00:17:23,310 --> 00:17:26,270
Why do you think you deserve to be
chosen,
231
00:17:27,310 --> 00:17:28,310
Lola?
232
00:17:29,110 --> 00:17:34,470
He's hot, and I'm hotter. And together,
we could burn.
233
00:17:38,870 --> 00:17:40,270
She gets my vote.
234
00:17:42,010 --> 00:17:43,010
Nikki?
235
00:17:48,490 --> 00:17:52,190
From the first moment I saw him, I knew
he was the yin to my yang.
236
00:17:53,150 --> 00:17:55,930
My world was forever changed for the
better.
237
00:17:56,530 --> 00:17:57,870
He completes me.
238
00:17:58,750 --> 00:18:04,130
And whether America chooses me or not, I
know in my heart we belong together.
239
00:18:06,310 --> 00:18:13,150
I know who I'd vote
240
00:18:13,150 --> 00:18:14,150
for, America.
241
00:18:14,750 --> 00:18:15,750
How about you?
242
00:18:17,760 --> 00:18:18,760
I'll find out.
243
00:18:19,400 --> 00:18:21,740
Quick, Lola, pull your top down again.
244
00:18:24,360 --> 00:18:27,680
Mickey Parker must go.
245
00:18:29,640 --> 00:18:31,520
No, I haven't called before.
246
00:18:36,160 --> 00:18:38,320
We're almost ready with our results.
247
00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:42,000
Okay? Drum roll, please.
248
00:18:45,360 --> 00:18:47,220
It's the moment we've all been waiting
for.
249
00:18:47,740 --> 00:18:50,320
It's time to find out who America has
eliminated.
250
00:18:50,620 --> 00:18:53,520
And it's... Nikki Parker!
251
00:18:54,100 --> 00:18:56,040
Yes! Yes!
252
00:18:56,660 --> 00:18:59,760
Thank you! God bless America!
253
00:19:02,900 --> 00:19:05,200
Wait a minute.
254
00:19:07,660 --> 00:19:08,660
Thank you, boo.
255
00:19:10,680 --> 00:19:14,480
I just found out that our tabulation
machine was stuck.
256
00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:16,720
It's actually...
257
00:19:16,960 --> 00:19:19,240
Lola, who's been kicked to the curb.
258
00:19:19,700 --> 00:19:22,040
Our winner is Nikki Parker.
259
00:19:26,060 --> 00:19:30,320
What are you thinking?
260
00:19:30,780 --> 00:19:32,520
Did you not see these?
261
00:19:33,900 --> 00:19:37,680
I guess it's ta -ta to you and your ta
-tas.
262
00:19:38,300 --> 00:19:42,200
No, no, no, no, no. I counted again. The
voting was rigged.
263
00:19:50,380 --> 00:19:51,380
Go with me.
264
00:19:51,880 --> 00:19:55,200
See, boo, even America thinks we belong
together.
265
00:19:57,860 --> 00:19:58,860
America?
266
00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:00,000
You suck.
267
00:20:06,900 --> 00:20:07,679
Hey, Woody.
268
00:20:07,680 --> 00:20:10,100
Hey. What are you doing here? I'm here
to take you to dinner.
269
00:20:10,600 --> 00:20:13,220
Oh, I'm sorry, Woody, but I'm going to
dinner with the professor.
270
00:20:13,920 --> 00:20:14,920
He's the one that sent me.
271
00:20:16,820 --> 00:20:17,820
Well, where is he?
272
00:20:18,020 --> 00:20:19,020
On a date with Lola.
20165
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