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1
00:00:03,850 --> 00:00:04,990
Hey, y 'all. Hey.
2
00:00:05,290 --> 00:00:08,990
Guess who's going to be catering the hot
new sitcom, We Ain't Friends.
3
00:00:09,670 --> 00:00:10,810
Can you give us a hint?
4
00:00:12,470 --> 00:00:13,470
Me, Kim.
5
00:00:14,390 --> 00:00:15,510
Can you give us another?
6
00:00:17,110 --> 00:00:20,850
You know, I love that show, but it's so
hard to believe it's New York City, and
7
00:00:20,850 --> 00:00:22,450
yet you never see one white person.
8
00:00:23,970 --> 00:00:26,690
Who cares? That show has a flyer on TV.
9
00:00:27,150 --> 00:00:28,150
How'd you hook that up?
10
00:00:28,290 --> 00:00:32,290
That food critic who reviewed my cooking
at Endell's recommended me.
11
00:00:33,070 --> 00:00:34,070
Oh, you know what that means?
12
00:00:34,430 --> 00:00:39,170
Yeah, it means if all goes well, I'll
have a steady job and pay off our credit
13
00:00:39,170 --> 00:00:40,009
card debt.
14
00:00:40,010 --> 00:00:42,690
Who cares about all that? You can get me
an acting job.
15
00:00:43,370 --> 00:00:44,370
You're hired.
16
00:00:44,490 --> 00:00:47,490
You can act like my assistant and help
me serve the food.
17
00:00:47,750 --> 00:00:49,130
Uh -uh, I do that at home.
18
00:00:50,450 --> 00:00:51,530
Hey, boo.
19
00:00:52,810 --> 00:00:55,150
I got a job catering. We ain't friends.
20
00:00:55,630 --> 00:00:59,230
Aren't you happy for me? Well, if it
means you'll be working long days and
21
00:00:59,230 --> 00:01:00,810
longer nights, I'll be...
22
00:01:01,050 --> 00:01:06,750
at it don't worry boo you can come visit
me on the set on that show please
23
00:01:06,750 --> 00:01:13,690
sitcoms are a mindless lowbrow drivel
that insults my intelligence drivel
24
00:01:13,690 --> 00:01:20,010
what makes it funny yeah and that lamar
short is sexy oh whatever i just wish
25
00:01:20,010 --> 00:01:21,990
he'd give that sleazy dalala the boot
26
00:01:22,979 --> 00:01:27,000
What? Are you crazy? What man in his
right mind would give up a woman like
27
00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:31,580
Delilah? You know, the one who makes me
sick is that psycho Vanika. Never
28
00:01:31,580 --> 00:01:32,580
watched it, huh?
29
00:02:57,550 --> 00:02:59,190
That spinach and lamb was divine.
30
00:02:59,970 --> 00:03:03,450
Oh, thank you, Basil, but it was collard
greens and oxtails.
31
00:03:04,810 --> 00:03:10,570
Basil, I hate to ask a favor on my first
day, but my daughter Kim, she would
32
00:03:10,570 --> 00:03:12,150
love to be an extra on the show.
33
00:03:12,670 --> 00:03:16,810
And since you're the director, I was
wondering... You know what? As long as
34
00:03:16,810 --> 00:03:19,650
keep these tasty meals coming, your
daughter's got a job.
35
00:03:21,850 --> 00:03:22,850
Oh,
36
00:03:23,490 --> 00:03:24,590
they're going to have fun no more.
37
00:03:24,850 --> 00:03:26,050
Girl, let's go watch a scene.
38
00:03:27,340 --> 00:03:28,340
How do I look?
39
00:03:28,440 --> 00:03:30,320
Desperate, lonely, and horny. Good.
Let's roll.
40
00:03:33,900 --> 00:03:34,900
Okay. Ready?
41
00:03:37,360 --> 00:03:39,080
And... Action!
42
00:03:42,540 --> 00:03:46,340
Lamar, baby, you've been gone so long. I
missed you.
43
00:03:46,940 --> 00:03:48,320
All I did was take out the trash.
44
00:04:02,800 --> 00:04:03,800
you scuzzy psycho.
45
00:04:05,180 --> 00:04:06,220
Was that Vanika?
46
00:04:06,540 --> 00:04:07,920
No, your mama.
47
00:04:10,460 --> 00:04:13,580
That'll teach you not to RSVP at the
last minute. Okay.
48
00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:15,600
Okay.
49
00:04:16,800 --> 00:04:18,399
You're the greatest, baby.
50
00:04:21,060 --> 00:04:22,060
And cut.
51
00:04:23,160 --> 00:04:24,160
Makeout.
52
00:04:26,640 --> 00:04:28,780
She sucked off all my lip gloss.
53
00:04:29,780 --> 00:04:32,140
So, you stole my eyelashes yesterday.
54
00:04:32,720 --> 00:04:34,060
I told you I had a date.
55
00:04:35,260 --> 00:04:39,920
Make sure it is MAC lip gloss number 11.
It gives me those pouty dewy lips.
56
00:05:00,490 --> 00:05:02,510
Believe you got me an acting job on We
Ain't Friends.
57
00:05:02,930 --> 00:05:03,930
I'm going to be a star.
58
00:05:04,770 --> 00:05:06,210
Now, slow your roll, baby.
59
00:05:06,430 --> 00:05:08,450
Now, you were hired to be in the
background.
60
00:05:08,890 --> 00:05:10,830
So do just what the director says.
61
00:05:11,110 --> 00:05:12,470
Understood? Understood.
62
00:05:12,850 --> 00:05:14,330
All right. Now go break a leg.
63
00:05:14,750 --> 00:05:17,010
I said I understood. You don't have to
be so mean.
64
00:05:17,510 --> 00:05:19,190
All actors on the set, please.
65
00:05:19,710 --> 00:05:20,710
Actors.
66
00:05:48,300 --> 00:05:52,960
supposed to look into the camera but how
will the people know it's me they're
67
00:05:52,960 --> 00:05:56,920
not supposed to know it's you you're
playing a waitress now please take your
68
00:05:56,920 --> 00:06:02,940
mark and don't look into the camera
again and background
69
00:06:02,940 --> 00:06:09,900
and action lamar where are you the
guests are already here
70
00:06:09,900 --> 00:06:12,520
i can't talk to these people
71
00:06:29,580 --> 00:06:30,760
to make sure the star was served.
72
00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:33,160
Did I tell you to serve the star?
73
00:06:33,620 --> 00:06:34,820
No, I'm acting.
74
00:06:35,280 --> 00:06:38,780
Look, the only reason I'm putting up
with you is because of your mama's pig's
75
00:06:38,780 --> 00:06:42,720
feet. Mama may have a couple of hammer
toes, but I wouldn't exactly call them
76
00:06:42,720 --> 00:06:43,720
pig's feet.
77
00:06:44,020 --> 00:06:45,740
You know what, everybody, let's decide.
Let's take five.
78
00:06:47,180 --> 00:06:49,580
Is Monika ready yet? We can't find her.
79
00:06:49,880 --> 00:06:51,080
Check the bar on the corner.
80
00:06:59,440 --> 00:07:04,020
Well, I just wanted to support you in
your professional endeavors.
81
00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:07,020
Oh, boo, I knew you'd come around.
82
00:07:07,540 --> 00:07:12,560
I know in my heart we're soulmates, and
if you just... There's Delilah. See you
83
00:07:12,560 --> 00:07:15,220
later. Okay, boo, I'll fix you a plate.
84
00:07:18,220 --> 00:07:20,820
Girl, I'm famished. Is it soup yet?
85
00:07:21,220 --> 00:07:22,220
It sure is.
86
00:07:23,260 --> 00:07:26,240
Can I just say, you put your foot in
those pig's feet, girlfriend.
87
00:07:28,060 --> 00:07:30,370
Do you know how to make... pork chops
smothered in gravy?
88
00:07:30,830 --> 00:07:33,830
Don't I look like I know how to make
pork chops smothered in gravy?
89
00:07:34,430 --> 00:07:39,590
You sure do, beautiful. If I was into
women, I'd be all over you. Because a
90
00:07:39,590 --> 00:07:41,410
skinny woman couldn't do a thing for me.
91
00:07:41,770 --> 00:07:44,430
Personally, I think skinny women are
evil.
92
00:07:44,950 --> 00:07:45,950
Okay.
93
00:07:47,230 --> 00:07:48,250
All right, sister.
94
00:07:48,630 --> 00:07:55,530
Excuse me, Mrs. Johnson.
95
00:07:55,810 --> 00:07:56,810
Yes?
96
00:07:57,600 --> 00:08:02,840
I'm Stanley Ogilvie, Professor Stanley
Ogilvie, and I just wanted to say that
97
00:08:02,840 --> 00:08:05,500
you are an incredible actress.
98
00:08:06,220 --> 00:08:07,680
Yes, I am, aren't I?
99
00:08:09,680 --> 00:08:11,540
Now tell me how pretty I am.
100
00:08:13,720 --> 00:08:14,720
Well,
101
00:08:15,500 --> 00:08:19,580
you do have the most mesmerizing eyes
I've ever seen.
102
00:08:20,220 --> 00:08:22,640
And don't they go great with my new
cheekbones?
103
00:08:24,460 --> 00:08:24,879
Oh, yes.
104
00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:26,640
They're very angular.
105
00:08:27,300 --> 00:08:28,300
Thank you.
106
00:08:28,540 --> 00:08:32,280
Why don't we chat over juice, and you
can tell me what else you like about me.
107
00:08:34,020 --> 00:08:35,020
Okay.
108
00:08:39,580 --> 00:08:45,080
You know, Basil, I wasn't feeling that
last scene. The jokes weren't funny, and
109
00:08:45,080 --> 00:08:47,260
the ending wasn't working for me. How
about you?
110
00:08:48,180 --> 00:08:49,180
Who are you?
111
00:08:50,300 --> 00:08:53,280
Adele Wilkerson, restaurant owner slash
comedy writer.
112
00:08:56,430 --> 00:08:57,650
to get me fired.
113
00:08:58,350 --> 00:09:02,230
Now, why don't you make yourself useful
and help me find my boo? The professor's
114
00:09:02,230 --> 00:09:04,070
here? Yes. He came by to visit me.
115
00:09:04,310 --> 00:09:05,310
Was he drunk?
116
00:09:06,510 --> 00:09:08,890
He said it was time he supported me in
my work.
117
00:09:09,770 --> 00:09:10,810
Are you drunk?
118
00:09:12,370 --> 00:09:13,390
Forget you, Wendell.
119
00:09:13,950 --> 00:09:14,950
Wait a minute.
120
00:09:15,810 --> 00:09:16,810
I hear my boo.
121
00:09:22,670 --> 00:09:24,350
We have actors on set, please.
122
00:09:25,190 --> 00:09:26,370
Vanika, are you ready?
123
00:09:28,110 --> 00:09:29,110
I am, no?
124
00:09:31,090 --> 00:09:32,550
Well, enough about me.
125
00:09:33,250 --> 00:09:34,250
Who am I kidding?
126
00:09:34,470 --> 00:09:35,870
It's never enough about me.
127
00:09:37,230 --> 00:09:38,430
Let's go, Delilah.
128
00:09:38,810 --> 00:09:41,550
Okay. How about a good luck kiss?
129
00:09:42,190 --> 00:09:43,190
All righty.
130
00:10:22,380 --> 00:10:25,320
Put your crusty lip on my man again.
131
00:10:25,800 --> 00:10:28,560
Baby, trust me. I will snap you in half.
132
00:10:28,840 --> 00:10:29,840
Do you understand?
133
00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:33,740
Who do you think you're talking to?
134
00:10:34,080 --> 00:10:35,080
I'm the star.
135
00:10:35,300 --> 00:10:37,260
You ain't nothing but a greasy fry cook.
136
00:10:39,040 --> 00:10:41,180
Oh, I got you, fry cook.
137
00:10:41,380 --> 00:10:47,500
I love it. You do?
138
00:10:47,940 --> 00:10:51,700
Oh, yeah, Nikki. You're exactly what
this show needs. Now the scene has
139
00:10:52,190 --> 00:10:53,970
You like her?
140
00:11:22,800 --> 00:11:24,980
playing Vanika, America's favorite
stalker.
141
00:11:25,680 --> 00:11:29,520
Me either. But, you know, for some
reason, I can relate to that character.
142
00:11:31,200 --> 00:11:33,080
Thanks. Thanks, guys, for helping me
out.
143
00:11:33,460 --> 00:11:38,840
You know, Nikki, the only thing I know
about catering is... nothing. No, I know
144
00:11:38,840 --> 00:11:40,020
absolutely nothing about catering.
145
00:11:40,580 --> 00:11:43,660
Don't worry, Stevie. Now, I cooked
enough food to last all day long.
146
00:11:43,880 --> 00:11:47,040
Now I have to go practice my lines with
Adele. I'll check on y 'all later.
147
00:11:52,040 --> 00:11:53,040
Hey, sweet thing.
148
00:11:53,300 --> 00:11:54,600
Loved you on last week's show.
149
00:11:54,960 --> 00:11:58,100
Listen, I have some new ideas for your
character soon. Why don't you let me
150
00:11:58,100 --> 00:11:59,100
you out to dinner with me?
151
00:11:59,980 --> 00:12:01,040
Okay, I'll call you.
152
00:12:02,860 --> 00:12:06,300
Yeah, way to go, mister. My Mac is
whack. I got you, didn't I?
153
00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:12,120
And now, thanks for running lines with
me.
154
00:12:12,340 --> 00:12:15,080
Okay, but just remember me when you get
your Soul Train Award.
155
00:12:16,120 --> 00:12:17,120
Okay, here goes.
156
00:12:18,240 --> 00:12:20,280
Can't you see he doesn't want you?
157
00:12:23,980 --> 00:12:25,020
I
158
00:13:06,839 --> 00:13:07,900
50 bucks a day.
159
00:13:46,280 --> 00:13:47,280
What'd you get me?
160
00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:49,120
Well, it's big.
161
00:13:55,400 --> 00:13:56,400
Hello?
162
00:13:56,800 --> 00:13:57,840
Hey, Jacqueline.
163
00:13:58,700 --> 00:13:59,700
Guess what?
164
00:13:59,840 --> 00:14:01,520
I'm back to no we ain't friends.
165
00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:03,540
Did you know Lamar is...
166
00:14:31,470 --> 00:14:32,470
The food is all gone.
167
00:14:32,610 --> 00:14:33,770
What did you find in the back?
168
00:14:33,990 --> 00:14:36,230
Some dusty cans of famine from
marshmallows.
169
00:14:37,050 --> 00:14:39,210
Spam and marshmallow sandwiches coming
up.
170
00:14:42,830 --> 00:14:44,250
Hey, how you doing?
171
00:14:45,030 --> 00:14:46,050
Fine, thank you.
172
00:14:46,250 --> 00:14:47,250
Yeah, I can see that.
173
00:14:47,730 --> 00:14:50,090
You ever think about acting? I'm the
producer here.
174
00:14:50,750 --> 00:14:52,510
Really? So am I.
175
00:14:53,610 --> 00:14:57,270
You must be the daytime producer because
I'm the night shift producer.
176
00:14:58,130 --> 00:15:00,330
I'm Dawn Stewart, executive producer.
177
00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:02,620
Now tell me, what do you really do?
178
00:15:02,840 --> 00:15:05,080
Uh, well, I help out with the food, ma
'am.
179
00:15:06,360 --> 00:15:07,360
Can I get you a plate?
180
00:15:15,380 --> 00:15:16,780
And action!
181
00:15:17,420 --> 00:15:19,200
I want you out of my house.
182
00:15:19,720 --> 00:15:20,720
Now!
183
00:15:40,750 --> 00:15:43,850
Now, don't think about the words. Just
feel them.
184
00:15:44,610 --> 00:15:45,650
Okay, got it.
185
00:15:46,130 --> 00:15:49,550
Okay. And... Action!
186
00:15:50,010 --> 00:15:52,530
I want you out of my house now.
187
00:15:53,630 --> 00:15:54,630
Aye.
188
00:15:56,110 --> 00:15:57,110
Aye.
189
00:15:57,990 --> 00:15:59,450
Aye. Aye.
190
00:16:00,950 --> 00:16:02,630
Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut.
191
00:16:04,610 --> 00:16:09,090
Sorry, Basil, but you told me not to
think about the words.
192
00:16:09,400 --> 00:16:10,940
But you still have to remember them.
193
00:16:11,800 --> 00:16:12,940
Can I make a suggestion?
194
00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:14,319
You again?
195
00:16:14,320 --> 00:16:18,020
Yeah, if you want the same kind of
passion you saw yesterday, there's only
196
00:16:18,020 --> 00:16:19,020
way you can get it.
197
00:16:19,920 --> 00:16:21,040
Okay, I'll sleep with you.
198
00:16:22,300 --> 00:16:28,540
All right, but first... So,
199
00:16:28,680 --> 00:16:30,960
Delilah really wants to see me again?
200
00:16:31,180 --> 00:16:34,940
Yeah, she says she can't go on without
you. What do you do to these women?
201
00:16:35,020 --> 00:16:36,960
you know, I just kind of... I don't want
to know.
202
00:16:39,760 --> 00:16:42,360
When Adele brings him over, just start
flirting and kissing.
203
00:16:42,840 --> 00:16:46,440
Are you sure I'm going to be safe?
Because I don't think she likes me.
204
00:16:47,420 --> 00:16:50,620
Don't worry about that. No, no, I'll
yell cut before it goes too far. And
205
00:16:50,620 --> 00:16:53,280
to be on the safe side, I've got armed
security here.
206
00:16:56,980 --> 00:16:58,660
Okay, here he is.
207
00:16:59,640 --> 00:17:01,340
Thank you so much for coming.
208
00:17:01,580 --> 00:17:03,580
I couldn't stop thinking about you, Sam.
209
00:17:03,820 --> 00:17:04,820
I mean, Sam.
210
00:17:09,319 --> 00:17:10,980
I dreamt about you all night.
211
00:17:11,400 --> 00:17:13,220
I couldn't get you off my mind.
212
00:17:14,060 --> 00:17:15,099
Kiss me, Stanley.
213
00:17:15,440 --> 00:17:16,520
Kiss me hard.
214
00:17:16,859 --> 00:17:17,940
All righty.
215
00:17:20,420 --> 00:17:21,420
Action.
216
00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:32,200
Now, I told you to stay away from my
man. Now, you brought this beat down on
217
00:17:32,200 --> 00:17:34,520
yourself. He doesn't want you, okay?
218
00:17:35,080 --> 00:17:36,080
Oh, this is great.
219
00:17:36,330 --> 00:17:37,330
It's going to win me my Emmy.
220
00:17:37,490 --> 00:17:38,750
Better yet, your image award.
221
00:18:26,540 --> 00:18:28,500
By what? The Pittsburgh Steelers?
222
00:18:30,200 --> 00:18:31,660
Did I do that? Yeah.
223
00:18:33,580 --> 00:18:34,980
Oh, that too?
224
00:18:35,360 --> 00:18:36,360
Yep.
225
00:18:38,300 --> 00:18:40,260
Basil, it'll never happen again.
226
00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:42,180
Oh, you got that right.
227
00:18:42,520 --> 00:18:43,540
Because you're fired.
228
00:18:44,120 --> 00:18:46,740
You can't fire my mama. She's the thoth.
229
00:18:47,120 --> 00:18:49,220
You. What are you doing back here?
230
00:18:49,460 --> 00:18:51,540
I thought you might need someone to play
Delilah.
231
00:18:52,380 --> 00:18:55,680
Delilah? I wouldn't have you play
Lassie. Oh.
232
00:19:00,780 --> 00:19:03,800
you do this to me? I could have been Mr.
233
00:19:04,040 --> 00:19:05,040
Delilah Johnson.
234
00:19:33,580 --> 00:19:34,580
happy, Miss Parker?
235
00:19:34,680 --> 00:19:40,680
It says here that the show had to shut
down while Delilah recovers.
236
00:19:41,180 --> 00:19:42,019
Uh -huh.
237
00:19:42,020 --> 00:19:45,400
It... It doesn't say anything about a
lawsuit, does it?
238
00:19:47,440 --> 00:19:48,440
No.
239
00:19:48,920 --> 00:19:51,440
But the authorities haven't returned my
call.
240
00:19:54,300 --> 00:19:55,500
You're so crazy.
241
00:19:56,940 --> 00:19:57,940
No!
242
00:19:59,360 --> 00:20:03,000
You're the crazy one. And if you come
within three feet of me,
243
00:20:03,760 --> 00:20:04,760
have you arrested.
244
00:20:05,540 --> 00:20:08,140
Oh, role play.
245
00:20:08,820 --> 00:20:10,460
Okay, you can be the cop.
18240
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