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1
00:00:03,260 --> 00:00:04,760
Guys, I'm worried about my mama.
2
00:00:05,120 --> 00:00:06,500
She was stressed out lately.
3
00:00:06,720 --> 00:00:07,720
Why do you say that?
4
00:00:07,960 --> 00:00:10,980
Well, she's been yelling a lot. Mean for
no reason.
5
00:00:11,880 --> 00:00:12,880
Plain old scary.
6
00:00:13,340 --> 00:00:14,740
It's like one of her good days.
7
00:00:17,700 --> 00:00:18,740
Mama, what's wrong?
8
00:00:19,040 --> 00:00:23,340
What do you think is wrong? I'm taking
way too many classes. Lady Egyptian
9
00:00:23,340 --> 00:00:25,380
are down and I just bounced my first
check.
10
00:00:25,620 --> 00:00:26,660
You be so hard on yourself.
11
00:00:26,980 --> 00:00:28,940
You hasn't bounced a check. Shut up, T.
12
00:00:31,470 --> 00:00:34,530
If one more bad thing happens to me, I'm
going to lose it.
13
00:00:34,950 --> 00:00:37,110
Then you don't want to look over your
shoulder.
14
00:00:39,370 --> 00:00:41,230
Of all the nerves.
15
00:00:42,890 --> 00:00:43,890
Mama, no!
16
00:00:55,410 --> 00:00:59,350
Just who do you think you are? Miss
Parker.
17
00:01:00,110 --> 00:01:02,110
I will deal with you in a minute. Now,
listen.
18
00:01:02,390 --> 00:01:06,390
This is my school and my man. Oh, Lord.
Miss Parker.
19
00:01:06,650 --> 00:01:08,050
Don't you see me talking?
20
00:01:10,290 --> 00:01:11,990
I don't think we've been introduced.
21
00:01:12,630 --> 00:01:14,990
I'm Tony Ross, the new dean of students.
22
00:01:15,350 --> 00:01:16,370
And my boss.
23
00:02:11,910 --> 00:02:12,910
You seem stressed out.
24
00:02:13,010 --> 00:02:15,090
Because you interrupted my quiet time.
25
00:02:15,870 --> 00:02:19,850
Mama, just for fun, why don't I give you
this stress test from this magazine?
26
00:02:20,090 --> 00:02:22,010
It's just ten simple questions.
27
00:02:22,310 --> 00:02:26,570
Okay, go ahead and waste your time, but
your little test will show I am the
28
00:02:26,570 --> 00:02:27,570
picture of calm.
29
00:02:30,310 --> 00:02:33,550
If someone cuts you off in traffic,
would you ask...
30
00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:46,040
would be other.
31
00:02:46,540 --> 00:02:47,540
Moving on.
32
00:02:47,880 --> 00:02:51,560
If you drove off with the wrong order
from a drive -thru window, would you
33
00:02:51,560 --> 00:02:55,000
add... I'd back my car up, yank him
through that little drive -thru window,
34
00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:56,000
beat him down.
35
00:02:57,600 --> 00:02:59,780
Who the hell is that?
36
00:03:06,100 --> 00:03:07,039
What's up, girl?
37
00:03:07,040 --> 00:03:08,100
Her blood pressure?
38
00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:10,440
Get this, man.
39
00:03:10,740 --> 00:03:14,980
Tim thinks I'm stressed out. Ooh, I know
I am. I'm turning 30. It's Saturday.
40
00:03:15,260 --> 00:03:18,280
Oh, dang. Mama's stressed out. You can't
count?
41
00:03:22,620 --> 00:03:23,620
Girl,
42
00:03:23,840 --> 00:03:24,840
what you gonna do for your birthday?
43
00:03:25,940 --> 00:03:28,400
Staying home, curling up with an episode
of Soul Food.
44
00:03:28,680 --> 00:03:30,660
You stay home every night. We going out.
45
00:03:31,020 --> 00:03:33,200
I said we going out.
46
00:03:33,660 --> 00:03:36,600
Why don't you guys hit that new salsa
club, the Bongo Room?
47
00:03:36,940 --> 00:03:39,700
It says here that dancing is a good way
to relieve stress.
48
00:03:40,040 --> 00:03:41,260
Not if you can't dance.
49
00:03:41,820 --> 00:03:43,760
The only sauce I do comes with chips.
50
00:03:46,320 --> 00:03:49,780
Well, why don't you have Daddy teach
her? He's a great dancer.
51
00:03:50,300 --> 00:03:55,660
That's a good idea. You know, he and I,
we're like Fred Astaire and Ginger
52
00:03:55,660 --> 00:03:56,660
Rodgers.
53
00:03:58,800 --> 00:03:59,800
Ow! What?
54
00:04:00,120 --> 00:04:01,120
Well,
55
00:04:02,020 --> 00:04:04,840
if you followed my lead, your foot
wouldn't be in the way. Now, come on,
56
00:04:04,840 --> 00:04:05,860
go. Come on. One, two.
57
00:04:35,020 --> 00:04:36,020
Now, you know she a little slow.
58
00:04:38,760 --> 00:04:40,440
Hey, I'm in the room.
59
00:04:40,960 --> 00:04:42,440
Now, girls, just pipe down and pay
attention.
60
00:04:42,740 --> 00:04:44,900
Now, look, you come on. You try it with
Mel. Okay,
61
00:04:45,600 --> 00:04:49,000
on the count of three. One, two, three,
go. Back, two, three. Relax.
62
00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:51,620
Now, easy. No, no, no!
63
00:04:52,460 --> 00:04:54,760
Now, you two look like two soul train
rejects.
64
00:04:57,020 --> 00:04:58,020
Now, listen.
65
00:04:58,140 --> 00:05:00,660
The salsa is a dance of passion.
66
00:05:01,360 --> 00:05:03,740
Something he would know nothing about.
67
00:05:05,320 --> 00:05:06,380
I was married to you.
68
00:05:08,040 --> 00:05:12,100
Hey, maybe you two want to take this
outside.
69
00:05:12,360 --> 00:05:15,280
You know what, Andy? I have a better
idea. Why don't we take this to my
70
00:05:15,380 --> 00:05:16,380
okay?
71
00:05:16,460 --> 00:05:18,840
There are no irritating annoyances
there.
72
00:05:19,980 --> 00:05:21,140
Okay, sounds good to me.
73
00:05:42,190 --> 00:05:45,890
I think God put him on this earth for
two reasons. To get on my nerves and
74
00:05:45,890 --> 00:05:46,890
on my nerves.
75
00:05:47,550 --> 00:05:48,810
Well, maybe you should try these.
76
00:05:49,130 --> 00:05:50,130
Oh, what are they?
77
00:05:50,310 --> 00:05:52,030
They're Chinese relaxation balls.
78
00:05:52,270 --> 00:05:53,790
They're supposed to relieve your stress.
79
00:05:54,090 --> 00:05:56,890
Oh, well, I guess living with a billion
people would drive anybody crazy.
80
00:05:58,130 --> 00:06:00,790
How do they work? You're supposed to
roll them around like this.
81
00:06:01,530 --> 00:06:02,730
Try it. Oh, okay.
82
00:06:04,010 --> 00:06:05,610
Now close your eyes.
83
00:06:06,770 --> 00:06:08,370
Don't forget about all your troubles.
84
00:06:09,520 --> 00:06:12,300
Try to visualize something that'll melt
your stress away.
85
00:06:14,200 --> 00:06:20,140
I see a beach.
86
00:06:20,580 --> 00:06:21,960
That's good, that's good.
87
00:06:22,720 --> 00:06:27,300
Me and Denzel on the beach.
88
00:06:31,420 --> 00:06:32,740
How do you feel?
89
00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:34,060
Lucky.
90
00:06:36,100 --> 00:06:38,860
Now repeat after me this soothing
mantra.
91
00:06:40,040 --> 00:06:42,440
Inhale, exhale, let it go.
92
00:06:43,400 --> 00:06:47,160
Inhale, exhale, let it go.
93
00:06:48,400 --> 00:06:49,400
Wow.
94
00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:51,000
Is it working?
95
00:06:51,320 --> 00:06:52,340
Girl, who cares?
96
00:06:52,540 --> 00:06:54,400
Denzel just took off his trunks and ran
in the...
97
00:07:27,340 --> 00:07:29,420
Question it. You don't look nothing like
Halle Berry.
98
00:07:31,420 --> 00:07:32,560
Girl, you better run.
99
00:07:33,860 --> 00:07:34,860
That's okay.
100
00:07:35,260 --> 00:07:36,360
It'll wipe right out.
101
00:07:37,420 --> 00:07:38,420
Who are you?
102
00:07:39,420 --> 00:07:41,700
I'm calm, cool, and collected.
103
00:07:42,240 --> 00:07:44,060
Thanks for the techniques Kim showed me.
104
00:07:44,620 --> 00:07:48,660
And... My destructive balls.
105
00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:50,460
Those are the best kind.
106
00:07:52,460 --> 00:07:54,480
You trying to be cute, or you said cute?
107
00:07:54,740 --> 00:07:56,060
Oh, no, I'm looking for male.
108
00:07:56,400 --> 00:07:57,400
Male?
109
00:07:57,800 --> 00:08:00,860
Yeah, since he's been teaching me to
salsa all week, I thought I'd invite him
110
00:08:00,860 --> 00:08:01,940
join us. You don't mind, do you?
111
00:08:02,300 --> 00:08:05,220
No, girl, it's your birthday. If you
want to ruin it, go right ahead.
112
00:08:05,560 --> 00:08:06,700
Oh, there he is.
113
00:08:08,080 --> 00:08:09,520
How do I look?
114
00:08:10,160 --> 00:08:11,160
Girl, it's just now.
115
00:08:13,280 --> 00:08:17,580
Wow. This is a birthday girl and a bit
of sidekick.
116
00:08:18,820 --> 00:08:20,100
Nice to see you too, Mal.
117
00:08:20,660 --> 00:08:21,740
What's that supposed to mean?
118
00:08:23,960 --> 00:08:25,460
I'm going to check my code. Oh.
119
00:08:25,760 --> 00:08:27,400
Nicky, would you be a dear to take mine,
too?
120
00:08:27,860 --> 00:08:28,860
Damn.
121
00:08:29,880 --> 00:08:32,700
Well, no wonder it only took you a
second to get dressed.
122
00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:33,839
You're naked.
123
00:08:33,840 --> 00:08:35,620
Oh, don't hate me because I'm beautiful.
124
00:08:36,720 --> 00:08:39,179
Man, would you buy the birthday girl a
drink? Absolutely.
125
00:08:42,820 --> 00:08:43,840
Golly, Miss Molly.
126
00:08:45,040 --> 00:08:47,000
Well, actually, it's Miss Parker.
127
00:08:47,220 --> 00:08:49,540
And I got a name for things anyway.
128
00:08:56,750 --> 00:08:58,970
It's our first day soon, having a drink
with your dad.
129
00:08:59,410 --> 00:09:01,410
Daddy's here? Looks like everybody's
here.
130
00:09:01,650 --> 00:09:03,190
Hey, there's the professor.
131
00:09:41,870 --> 00:09:42,870
Inhale.
132
00:09:43,270 --> 00:09:44,270
Exhale.
133
00:09:45,190 --> 00:09:46,190
Let it go.
134
00:09:46,790 --> 00:09:49,210
Oh, hell no. Where's my coat? I need my
ball.
135
00:10:03,430 --> 00:10:04,430
Come on, Denzel.
136
00:10:04,810 --> 00:10:05,810
Come out of the water.
137
00:10:06,250 --> 00:10:08,470
That's right, Mama. Bring them out of
the water.
138
00:10:11,790 --> 00:10:14,390
Dancing the professor wants. It's
dancing he gonna get.
139
00:10:14,910 --> 00:10:18,450
Hey, big daddy. Looks like you're
searching for a dance partner.
140
00:10:18,690 --> 00:10:20,050
Oh, yes, I am.
141
00:10:20,470 --> 00:10:22,110
And else, shall we?
142
00:10:22,830 --> 00:10:28,030
Come on, boy.
143
00:10:28,330 --> 00:10:29,249
Let's dance.
144
00:10:29,250 --> 00:10:31,730
I don't know how to throw, sir. But
you're about to learn.
145
00:10:32,150 --> 00:10:33,150
Break a leg.
146
00:10:33,690 --> 00:10:35,250
Hopefully that's the only thing I'll
break.
147
00:10:49,360 --> 00:10:50,360
a sausage.
148
00:11:30,960 --> 00:11:31,960
Thanks for catching me, Stevie.
149
00:11:32,740 --> 00:11:34,200
Actually, I was ducking for cover.
150
00:11:35,260 --> 00:11:36,660
I'm glad your mama's relaxed.
151
00:11:37,180 --> 00:11:38,600
Otherwise, I'd have gone through the
roof.
152
00:11:39,720 --> 00:11:41,180
You need to find her and give her these.
153
00:11:41,580 --> 00:11:42,580
Give her something.
154
00:11:44,940 --> 00:11:46,460
That was great, Stanley.
155
00:11:46,920 --> 00:11:48,640
I didn't know you had all those moves.
156
00:11:48,920 --> 00:11:52,200
Well, there's plenty more where that
came from. I can't wait to see you.
157
00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:56,340
I'll be right back. I'm just going to go
powder my nose. Well, you'll be
158
00:11:56,340 --> 00:11:57,420
powdering perfection.
159
00:12:04,720 --> 00:12:05,719
Want, Miss Parker?
160
00:12:05,720 --> 00:12:06,780
Just a dance.
161
00:12:06,980 --> 00:12:08,800
One dance. No.
162
00:12:09,020 --> 00:12:11,720
No. A thousand times no!
163
00:12:50,510 --> 00:12:51,510
I'm a professor.
164
00:12:51,650 --> 00:12:54,710
A professor? I'm not surprised, man. And
where are you at? USC?
165
00:12:54,970 --> 00:12:55,970
UCLA?
166
00:12:56,490 --> 00:12:58,450
Santa Monica Community College.
167
00:12:59,590 --> 00:13:02,490
Yeah, that's where you can become a
dental technician, right?
168
00:13:02,690 --> 00:13:04,830
Yeah, that's one of our programs.
169
00:13:05,430 --> 00:13:06,430
That's a tenure.
170
00:13:07,130 --> 00:13:12,330
No, no, no, but I am in charge of the
campus activities.
171
00:13:13,190 --> 00:13:15,770
You're not putting up about me, man.
What have you been up to?
172
00:13:15,990 --> 00:13:18,630
Oh, well, you know, me and college, we
didn't click, so I...
173
00:13:19,020 --> 00:13:22,180
Started doing club promotions till I had
enough money to buy one. Yeah?
174
00:13:22,460 --> 00:13:23,399
Which one?
175
00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:24,400
This one, baby.
176
00:13:24,820 --> 00:13:26,940
Oh, my God. Man, that is great.
177
00:13:27,380 --> 00:13:30,220
Now, listen, you think I could get my
money back, uh, you know, for old times'
178
00:13:30,300 --> 00:13:31,500
sake? No, I'm just kidding, man.
179
00:13:32,460 --> 00:13:33,460
You ready?
180
00:13:33,760 --> 00:13:36,220
Hey, man, why? Do I look like I'm beat
down and broke?
181
00:13:36,620 --> 00:13:38,420
Hey, come back here. I'll go, baby.
182
00:13:39,160 --> 00:13:40,160
Damn.
183
00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:43,960
Listen, uh, Kenny, I need a favor. You
see that woman barreling over here?
184
00:13:44,560 --> 00:13:45,419
Oh, a dog.
185
00:13:45,420 --> 00:13:46,420
That's you?
186
00:13:47,080 --> 00:13:48,080
No.
187
00:13:48,590 --> 00:13:51,610
Look, I need you to keep her busy. I'm
sort of working on something else. Look
188
00:13:51,610 --> 00:13:53,110
at you trying to be a player, player.
189
00:13:53,450 --> 00:13:58,510
Hey, man, I got your back. I owe you.
Hey, you sure you can handle it? Hey,
190
00:13:58,510 --> 00:14:01,450
I work my magic, she's just going to be
a member of Club Kenny.
191
00:14:03,550 --> 00:14:04,550
Hey, there.
192
00:14:04,830 --> 00:14:05,990
I think you're looking for me.
193
00:14:06,930 --> 00:14:11,970
Excuse me? Why would I be looking for
you? Because you're a woman, and I'm me.
194
00:14:13,230 --> 00:14:14,470
And you're all so tired.
195
00:14:14,730 --> 00:14:16,430
Now move, boy. No, no, no. Come on now.
196
00:14:16,810 --> 00:14:19,490
I've been looking at you all night. Can
I just get one dance?
197
00:14:19,830 --> 00:14:22,450
I mean, you don't want me to have to
walk out of here with my tail between my
198
00:14:22,450 --> 00:14:23,450
legs. Huh.
199
00:14:23,610 --> 00:14:25,730
Well, tuck it in and take a seat.
200
00:14:26,030 --> 00:14:27,030
Not interested.
201
00:14:28,770 --> 00:14:30,930
What? You're going to be back, baby.
202
00:14:31,510 --> 00:14:32,449
Oh, yes.
203
00:14:32,450 --> 00:14:33,850
That's right. Get away from me.
204
00:14:36,710 --> 00:14:39,210
Hey, hey, hey, Budden. You seen the
professor?
205
00:14:39,470 --> 00:14:40,550
Mama, you're stressing.
206
00:14:40,910 --> 00:14:45,290
The professor's not going anywhere. He's
on a date. Now, find a...
207
00:14:46,510 --> 00:14:47,510
And play with your ball.
208
00:14:47,590 --> 00:14:48,590
You're right, Putin.
209
00:14:48,710 --> 00:14:50,270
I am a little edgy. Okay.
210
00:14:50,930 --> 00:14:51,769
All right.
211
00:14:51,770 --> 00:14:52,770
Inhale.
212
00:14:57,870 --> 00:14:58,870
Exhale.
213
00:14:59,130 --> 00:15:00,250
Let that witch go.
214
00:15:01,530 --> 00:15:02,530
Inhale.
215
00:15:04,290 --> 00:15:05,290
Exhale.
216
00:15:57,450 --> 00:15:58,450
And Dale is your best friend.
217
00:15:58,710 --> 00:15:59,850
And Dale is Satan.
218
00:16:02,010 --> 00:16:05,670
It doesn't bother you that your father
is being my best friend?
219
00:16:05,950 --> 00:16:11,370
No. And Dale is like family, and Daddy
is family. And you always said that
220
00:16:11,370 --> 00:16:12,650
families should love each other.
221
00:16:13,090 --> 00:16:14,150
Love each other.
222
00:16:14,430 --> 00:16:16,210
Not make love to each other.
223
00:16:16,990 --> 00:16:19,870
Why do you care? You don't even want
Daddy.
224
00:16:20,090 --> 00:16:22,470
Well, except for that booty call last
year.
225
00:16:23,650 --> 00:16:26,390
But what And Dale did was wrong.
226
00:16:26,670 --> 00:16:27,890
No, Mama, you're wrong.
227
00:16:28,270 --> 00:16:30,630
And Dale would never do anything to hurt
you on purpose.
228
00:16:30,970 --> 00:16:32,090
Well, it still hurts.
229
00:16:33,110 --> 00:16:35,170
Well, it's going to hurt more if you
don't let go.
230
00:16:35,870 --> 00:16:38,030
Now, Mama, you remember that stress
test.
231
00:16:38,370 --> 00:16:39,450
I want you around.
232
00:16:42,270 --> 00:16:44,350
Who else is going to take care of my
baby?
233
00:17:01,680 --> 00:17:02,680
What do you want?
234
00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:06,579
I just want to apologize for my
behavior.
235
00:17:06,839 --> 00:17:09,040
Huh? Well, I appreciate that.
236
00:17:09,359 --> 00:17:14,000
In the spirit of sisterhood, I thought
there are some things that I should
237
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:14,819
with you.
238
00:17:14,819 --> 00:17:18,300
A Sports Today swimsuit model. I don't
get it. That was me.
239
00:17:20,700 --> 00:17:22,960
A year and 110 pounds ago.
240
00:17:24,480 --> 00:17:26,520
Sweet Jesus, what happened to you?
241
00:17:35,080 --> 00:17:39,420
of the campus, preying on innocent co
-eds and kicking them to the curb when
242
00:17:39,420 --> 00:17:41,200
he's done sucking all the love out of
them.
243
00:17:42,020 --> 00:17:44,620
Oh, no, I can't believe that.
244
00:17:45,240 --> 00:17:46,740
You poor dear.
245
00:17:48,800 --> 00:17:51,700
Are you sure it was only 110 pounds?
246
00:17:56,660 --> 00:17:57,980
You could be next.
247
00:17:58,380 --> 00:18:01,060
No, no, no. Stanley was always so
charming.
248
00:18:20,720 --> 00:18:23,140
Can't I get through one day without
hearing your voice?
249
00:18:23,480 --> 00:18:24,980
I just wanted to say hi.
250
00:18:25,240 --> 00:18:27,080
Oh, you said it. Now be gone.
251
00:19:02,030 --> 00:19:03,150
I didn't mean to hurt you.
252
00:19:03,490 --> 00:19:05,490
What happened with me and Mel just
happened.
253
00:19:06,050 --> 00:19:07,210
I'm not even sure how.
254
00:19:07,570 --> 00:19:09,130
You sure kissed like you knew how.
255
00:19:10,750 --> 00:19:12,030
Look, I'm sorry.
256
00:19:12,810 --> 00:19:16,190
I just came to say that Mel and I aren't
going to see each other anymore.
257
00:19:16,550 --> 00:19:21,110
And if I had known it was going to
bother you so much, I would have never
258
00:19:21,110 --> 00:19:22,110
there.
259
00:19:22,990 --> 00:19:24,650
You dumped Mel because of me?
260
00:19:25,210 --> 00:19:27,550
No. I didn't want to deal with his crazy
ex -wife.
261
00:19:29,330 --> 00:19:30,910
Girl, I'm over it. Listen.
262
00:19:31,360 --> 00:19:34,260
If you and Mel want to get back
together, I wish you the best.
263
00:19:35,840 --> 00:19:39,420
Nah. Besides, I can't date a man who has
Popeye tattooed on his butt.
264
00:20:09,290 --> 00:20:10,830
And don't worry about crushing knees.
265
00:20:11,030 --> 00:20:12,030
That made it steep.
266
00:20:12,770 --> 00:20:14,570
Thanks, but I don't need them anymore.
267
00:20:14,870 --> 00:20:15,950
What about your stress?
268
00:20:16,350 --> 00:20:21,230
I was stressed out because I was doing
too much. But now I got my boo back.
269
00:20:21,490 --> 00:20:23,270
I've decided to drop a class.
270
00:20:23,570 --> 00:20:28,570
I'm going to quit running about lady
Egyptian sales and stop trying to
271
00:20:28,570 --> 00:20:29,610
on perfection.
272
00:20:31,430 --> 00:20:32,470
You know what, Mama?
273
00:20:32,670 --> 00:20:33,850
That's a good idea.
274
00:20:34,050 --> 00:20:35,510
I've been feeling a little stressed.
275
00:20:36,010 --> 00:20:39,130
So to be extra sure, I'm going to drop
all my glasses.
276
00:20:41,690 --> 00:20:43,170
Girl, let me see those balls.
277
00:20:43,530 --> 00:20:45,210
Oh, you're going to use them? Yeah.
278
00:20:46,690 --> 00:20:48,270
And I'm going to give you a running
start.
279
00:20:50,530 --> 00:20:51,530
Nah,
280
00:20:59,050 --> 00:21:02,770
besides, I can't date a man who has a
bug bunny hat.
281
00:21:03,030 --> 00:21:04,030
It's not a bug bunny hat.
282
00:21:05,420 --> 00:21:06,420
Whoa!
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